Happy New Year!

My padme and I wish everyone out there all the best in their lives for 2006. Have fun however you choose to celebrate the coming of a new year. Learn from the past one, make the future you want a reality. We hope all you dreams come true in the persuit of your own personal happiness and fulfillment. It's been an amazing year for us and a part of that has been the community of bloggers that we've met since starting our blog in September 2005. Happy new year!

Bound

I just saw the best movie I have seen in a while and I had to write about it in my blog post tonight. My girlfriend, Laurie recommended the movie, Bound to me. It has Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon in it. Master and I looked at our local video store and couldn't find it. We searched HMV with no luck. It's from 1996 so it's a older one. Finally tonight at Future shop we found it on sale. We got a few purchases when we were out. I love this kind of shopping. Master had already spoiled me by bringing me home a book from Chapters called Erotica Vampirica. A Blue Moon book. I started to read this book in my bath tonight. All I can say is WOW! He said it was one of the best sellers for erotica. I know why. Anyone who likes vampires should read this. It's excellent. The first chapter and I was so hungry for Master's blade so I can give him my blood tonight. I want him to be my Lestat so badly now. He got me the new Madonna cd which I have been listening to most of the night. I love it! It's music that makes me think of playing with Master. Great scene music. I havn't heard good music from Madonna like this in a while. One of my favorite songs is Issac by Madonna. One line says "wrestle with your darkness." God, I love that line. It turns me on. It's Madonna's Confessions on a Dance Floor. If you havn't read the last blog post about Laurie's hot and sexy e-mail to me, please read it. I think it was so hot and got me horny this morning reading it again. I love receiving e-mails like that from her. :) Judging by the comments you all enjoyed it too. Master bought me the sexiest red lingerie from Zellers tonight for a New Year's Eve present. I usually don't like Zeller's lingerie but this looked amazing. He got me red lacy panties to go with them. We plan to take photos tommorow and then wear it tommorow night for new year's eve. Master says he has special plans for us for tommorow. We have a overnight but I have no idea where we are going or what he has planned. He's a very romantic man and he knows I love this night more than almost any other night of the year. We hope to take some great photos of the outfit tonight for the blog and of course for Laurie and her Master. I will take some special pussy photos just for her. *big smiles* Master Anakin and I went to Value Village to look for some play clothes but didn't find any. I was a bit disappointed. I have been looking for a cop's uniform. My girlfriend and I have a cop and robber fantasy that we both want to live out one day. She gave me a great idea last night for a hot story of me arresting her and her resisting arrest and what would happen. I would definatly have to strip search her. *big smiles* We were disappointed we didn't find anything. We came home with subway and I wanted to watch the movie. I talked to my girlfriend, Laurie on messenger. Her Master had bought her a new ping pong paddle tonight and he wanted to know how many swats to give her from me. I love that I can be able to give her a few swats from far away. I have never spanked or been spanked by a woman but this is a hot fantasy for me. I love that she was getting those just as I was starting my blog post. The thoughts of her getting that paddle right this minute for me from him is a bit turn on. I started to watch the movie and we got about halfway but boy did it ever remind me of Laurie and I. I saw myself in the character of Corky and her Voilet. There is one of the hottest girl on girl scenes in a hollywood movie I have ever seen. It is the way I imagine being with Laurie one day. I love how Corky is a bit butch and dominant. But yet so sensual. Master told me I was drooling during the scene with the two girl's. If you are looking for a hot movie tonight to rent with your loved one I recommend it. I havn't been so turned on by a movie in a long time. I love to act out parts in movies and I can see acting that one out with Laurie. I am a bit more dominant with women than obviously with men (I am Master's slave and I have never been dominant to him ever) I know I saw some of myself in Corky. I was so wet during that one part that Master felt me and told me "you are so wet from the thoughts of being with her, aren't you?" He loves that I have a girlfriend. And so does Laurie's Master. They love that her and I have so many fun times together. So many hot phone calls and sizzling conversations together. She has brought out a side in me that I have tried to deny for so long. I am very bisexual. I enjoy women so much. I miss being with a woman. Master is happy I get to explore that side of me again. He's always supported me being bisexual. I know that I need to feel a woman's body and touch. I love going down on a woman and seeing her squirm in pleasure. I can't wait to meet Laurie and be with her in that way. I've seen photos of her beautiful pussy and I have fantasized about how much pleasure I would give her. She's one of the most beautiful women and I feel so lucky she is my girlfriend. I end this year with a bang. I end this year feeling happy and loved. She has really stood by my moods lately and through some tough times. I hope she knows that I think of her often. Master and I can't wait for our new year's eve. I am so curious to know what kinds of plans he has for me. He spoils me rotten. I was saying to him that my favorite memory of 2005 is the Duran Duran concert and how wild things go and how sexual we both were that night. I loved how he spanked me that night and how rough we fucked. How horny I got and how drunk on love and Duran Duran's music and how he fucked me doggy style while I was up against the window in the Sandman Hotel. We barely made in the elevator when he pushed himself against me. He took me upstairs and literally threw me on the bed and then tore off my clothes and spanked my ass hard with his big hands. My ass was SO red that night. He broke a few buttons of my blouse. Then I tried to go close the blinds and he said "no, slave. Let the world see us fuck tonight." And he took me as I bent over like a bitch in heat taking his hard cock in my soaking wet pussy. I had so many cut marks over my body from his knife and bruises on my ass and bite marks on my neck. Things got very rough. I felt so owned and horny that night. I just remember staying up most of the night fucking non stop. How he made me cum so many different times that night. I will always think of that as the hottest spanking/sex of this year. My other favorite memory is getting his mark/the phantom tattoo. Holding his hand and I got the tattoo done and felt the pain like nothing else. I was high for days on the endoprhin rush. What a great anniversary present. My Master is so good to me. I hope he knows how incredibly in love with him I am and how I worship him and love to serve him and be his slave. Master told me we could watch the rest of the movie later. He ran me a bath with our new Sugar Cookie bubble bath from Avon and put on my Madonna cd and let me read my book which I loved and got into the mood. I shaved my pussy for him. I came down and talked to Laurie for a bit. I told her how bad the movie turned me on and had I had to write about her tonight and what I was thinking about. Today has been the best day for me. Master got a unexpected cheque for his accident and we had some shopping and fun. I feel sexy in new new lingerie and I have photos tonight and he told me I get a spanking too. I havn't been really spanked in a while and I can't wait! Laurie is on my mind tonight. Spankings are on my mind tonight. I am wondering how her spanking is going right now. I wonder how mine will be tonight. I wonder if anyone else out there is getting a spanking tonight? Or being the one doing the spankings? Is anyone else as horny as I am tonight? My force is strong.

Sexy e-mail from Laurie

I love the video from Aerosmith, Crazy. Two naughty schoolgirls played by Alicia Sliverstone and Liv Tyler living life on the wild side. It reminds me of my girlfriend, Laurie and I being wild and out of control like that. I saw the video and thought of her. She's the brunette and I am the blonde girl being naughty in our school girl outfits. Laurie sent me a very hot e-mail this week. It was about a dream she had over me. I asked her tonight if I could share it with my blog. It's just so hot and sizzling to not share it. She gave me her permission so here it is... Here is her e-mail to me and her dream: (names were changed in this but everything else is the way she wrote it) As promised my dream from Sunday night, Monday morning. Hope you enjoy this as much as I did. :) I had the strangest dream this morning. You took me to the strippers. You didn't tell me that you worked there part time & you started to introduce me to some of the dancers. We start to walk around backstage & you say that I would look so sexy in anyone of these outfits. So I put on the red one with thousands of black tassles. everytime I move the tassles would tickle my skin. You take my hand and start to lead me to a back room that had a pole in it. I dont think anything about the pole. As we enter the room, you dim the lights. you stand me in the middle of the room & walk behind me. "Play with me baby." you whisper into my ear as you are kissing my neck and shoulders. Yours hands slides around my ribcage to rest on the undersides of my breast. slowly taking each breast you slowly rub, and pinch my nipples until they are stiff. I place my hands over yours and we start to move the the beat of the music that had been playing softly in the background. You turn me around & we start to kiss, with lots of tongue. I slip my hands up your back & pull your hair a tiny bit. We are both so turned on. I lean down and take one of your nipples through your top, into my mouth. My tongue plays with your nipple until it is erect & I slip your breasts out of your top. I keep on playing with your nipples while you are also squeezing my nipples. You slowly slip my top off, so that you can see, and play with my breast. I follow your lead & slowly & teasingly take your top off to play with your nipples. You slowly take one of my nipple into your mouth, circling it with you tounge. I lean my head bak to feel the soft tug from your lips. You reach up & run your fingers through my hair a couple of times. On the past time you grab a handful of hair & force me backwards until I bump into the pole. You smile sweetly at me and say "Dont worry baby, we are going to play, just like we do at home." I nod my head & there is some rope that you tie me to the pole with.The ropes slowly rubbing against my skin. Not enough to burn, but enough to feel the heat a little bit. I start too lean back onto the pole. The rope is tied tight around my wrist, but not the pole, so that I can slide up and down to pole. If I want to. With my hands restrained I know that I am puddy in your hands. I love the helpless feeling I get from being restrained by you. You start to tie the rope over & around my tits. Knowing that I like it a little rough, as you get each tit tied, you playful drag a knife over my skin. You do not cut my skin, but there is enough to get the skin to go pink & to swell just a tiny bit. I am sliding in & out of subspace. the music & the lighting is confusing to me. I dont know where I am, but I can see you, so I know that I am safe. Now that my breasts and arms are tied up you start to work on my lower half. the skirt has a velro strip on the side. I didn't notice the velcro, so all I hear is the rippingof the velcro. But I have not come down from subspace high. The sounds of riping coth is too much to me & I slide all the way into subspace again. I come back from subspace to see that I had my ankles are tied to the pole. I am kneeling with my legs as wide as I can spread them. I look down and see you laying on your back with you legs spread in the air. You wiggle your way towards me & start to lick my clit. While fingering you pussy. Slowly building the sexual energy. I cant last very long and I start to cum almost right away. "That's it baby, cum for me. Cum hard for me." I am cumming and trying to wiggle to get your pussy, but I was still tied to the pole. You slowly lift your pussy to my mouth. We are doing a vertical 69, oh yes, you pussy tastes so sweet. I start to lick you like there was no tomorrow. You start to cum all over my face & mouth. You lay back down, but not for too long. You take the knife & cut all the ropes loose. We both get up and pick up the costumes that we had been wearing. We head towards the door & someone starts to clap. I am confused and I was still flying from sliding in to subspace. I look around, but an not see anyone. A voice fills the room. I own this strip club, I want to offer you a job. I think about it and answer "I will only be part of a duet. I will only dance with my girlfriend, Padme. No one else." The boss says that we should get dressed, we go on in 15 minutes. I am still flying, so I am having trouble dealing with everything. You start to walk towards the dressing room. I lose sight of you & I am lost in the back stage area. I start to look for you & I am calling your name. But I can't find you. Someone hands me a dress & I put it on, but I still can not find you... This is where I wake up. I hope you enjoyed this dream as much as I did. I love dreaming about you.Hope that you are having a great day. Laurie Wow..what a e-mail to get first thing in the morning. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. Laurie is a truly amazing woman that I have a lot of fantasies about. I loved hearing this dream she had for me. It was such a turn on. She drives me crazy. :)

Quiz from bonnie

What is your sex appeal? Quiz from my friend, bonnie. I admit that I am hard to get close to for most people. I find it very hard to let people into my shell. I thought this was a interesting quiz. What is your sexual appeal? brought to you by Quizilla

Star wars christmas

Master Anakin got some Star wars gifts for Christmas this year from me. Here is some photos of the two big items I got him. One of them was a collector's tin with three bags of doritos in it and the other is the Trivial Pursuit DVD game. We played this game yesterday. It was kind of funny that Master played Darth in the game. He had a little Darth Vader figurine that he was using. I was yoda. Master of course seemed to know so many of the questions, including some of the hard ones. It's a excellent game for those Star wars fans that have seen the movies so many times like Master and I. Our whole townhouse is full of star wars stuff. A calender with pictures of Anakin and Padme are over our bed. I am always looking for stuff to give Master. I gave him a lightsaber too which he loved. I loved spoiling him like he did for me. I am so mentally exhausted today. I can barely concentrate on anything. I think the holidays and everything in my life is wearing my out. I was thinking of my brother this morning and feeling a lot of guilt. I know for a fact he had the worst christmas of his life this year. And I tried to pretend that it was all happening. I tried to talk to S about it this morning but she kept changing the subject. Not one of my friend's has even asked me what has happened. It's like they all don't care anymore. I find it funny how people are there for the good times but the moment you bring up something that is even a little negative they don't want to hear it. I have spent hours and hours helping S through her problems. And yet, she couldn't even be there for me today with this situation with my brother. So many of my friend's knew there was a problem over Christmas but yet not one person asked what is going on. So I have carried it all inside of me the last few days and today it caught up to me. My brother is going through hell and I have to just pretend it's not happening. I really questioned my friendship with S today. For all I do for her I rarely ask for anything back. Why is it I put so much into my relationships with people and don't get support back? S is supposed to be my best friend. My brother is on my mind so much today. I shouldn't have ignored the problems over christmas. He's my only brother and I love him so much. Master and I spent the day together yesterday. We played our star wars game and watched Into the Blue. I asked Master the question that Sam did in the movie. Would he give up the treasure for love?? He told me there wasn't a doubt that he would. I loved the movie. I recommend it. We watched a interesting movie called the Keeper with Dennis Hopper and I watched some other shows. Master wanted to play but I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open and he had to go back to work today so he's put it off til tonight. I hope he realizes my emotions are all over the place today. Maybe play would do me good while I am feeling this way. He told me last night that he's taking me out for New Year's eve. It's one of my favorite nights of the year. He's arranged a overnight and to take me out to dinner somewhere fancy so we can dress up and celebrate the new year together. I am so excited about that. I need that right now. I need him so badly. I have seen three couples break up from not spending New year's eve together. Last year it was my sister and her phone call close to midnight pretty much ruined my night. Master has promised this year will be different. I love that feeling as the stroke of midnight to a new year and I am in his arms. Nothing is worth missing that. I honestly can't wait. Has everyone done the new survey about new year's resolutions? I am always curious about people's resolutions. Mine is more sex and spankings and bondage but also to lose some weight and get back on track with my eating and exercise. I am determined to get to my goal in 2006. I would love to go to New York one day to see the ball drop at midnight. Master and I have talked about that a lot. He is telling me I might get a trip out to see my sister at her new place next month. I asked Master last night about it. He told me that my sister is my bodyguard. She takes care of me. I know he trusts her. It's funny how him and my sister have had their difficulties through the years but in the end Master told me he has absolute trust in her. I am missing my sister so much with what is going on with my brother. I feel I have been ignoring her lately and it's not a good feeling. I really need some time away from things for a few days. I think Master saw that in me the last while. I need her. She's the only one to truly understand what I am going through with this situation with my brother. She's feeling it all too. I'm glad she'll have her new boyfriend for new year's eve. Master also talked to me about cracking down on me in the new year. I have been feeling a lack of control lately with him letting many rules go for the holidays. He intends to get me back on track in the new year. I know it will be a adjustment going back to bedtimes and control over my time and diet and exercise and drinking but I think it should help me to get back on track. I did my weight this morning and I have gained a few pounds. When I saw Jessica Alba yesterday in Into the Blue I told Master I want her body. I really need to get back to where I was at before the holidays. With not doing my walking it has lead to some depression. I need exercise to function properly. I think some of my exhaustion is that I havn't been walking or drinking enough water or eating properly. I am really looking forward to his control again with all that. I am missing Master at work today so much. I wish he was home. My force is not as strong today and I need Master soooooooo much.....

New Survey

Master Anakin replaced our Christmas survey with a New Year's one about your New Year's resolutions. If you get time, please fill it out. The results from the Santa survey was that 38% of people wanted Santa's big black belt. 25% wanted presents. I hope everyone got what they wished for this Christmas. New Year's Eve is just around the corner now. A new year and a exciting night. I definatly want more spankings in the New Year. And to write a few more stories for the blog. Master and I have been discussing a Anakin/Padme type of story. And there is always the Lestat story I hope to do also. Master took this photo of my breasts this morning. There was some knife play last night. I was in a masochistic mood last night. I talked with my girlfriend, Laurie til late. I've been spending a lot of time with her. I was on the phone for 5 hours on Christmas eve and my phone literally died. I have enjoyed having a girlfriend again. I feel like I have so much in common with her and I am opening up more of myself to her. I hope in the New Year that we can finally meet. She makes me smile so much. Master watched the Vancouver Canucks game yesterday against Calgary. They lost. He had told me that if they won I would get 40 with the purple flogger on my ass. If they lose I would get 40 on each breast with the flogger. I received the 40 this morning on my sore breasts. I was a little surprised how marked my breasts were from the knife play and attention the last few days. I love Master's knife. Feeling it cut into my skin. I like to cut myself when I am in a masochistic mood. I am wearing my new public collar from Master. This is not a play collar. I have a big heavy one that is a true collar from Cabbages and Kinks. This is one to replace my butterfly one that was falling apart. I like wearing a collar at all times. Obviously I can't wear my play one around my kid's or friends and family. I love my black heart one. It is a symbol from Master of his black Darth Vader heart. I am so proud to have my new name that he chose, padme. It is more of who we are and what this blog is about. Master Anakin is off again today. We hope to play some of the new Star wars trivia game that I bought him for Christmas. He has been wanting to do that. He wasn't feeling very well last night and is still recovering from that. I hate seeing him sick. I was worried about him. I am so in love with my dark force right now. He's giving me so much love and attention the last few day's. He knew that talking to my girlfriend was making me happy so he left me alone to talk to her. He's such a good man and my force is through him....

slave's new collar and name

I hope everyone had a good Christmas. I've glad it's over. Yesterday was amazing and the best Christmas day of my life. I feel so close to my Master today. I have a new name. I am sure everyone is going to start notice me commenting and the changes of my name from shyanne to padme. Master wanted to change my name for Christmas and present me with a new darker collar for the public to see. It's more of who we are. Master calls me padme in our R/t and bedroom. It's a name that he feels represents more of the Star wars theme and our relationship. We are much like Anakin and Padme. We have role played Anakin and Padme a few times. We have several pictures hanging over our bed of them also. They are our favorite couple. I am so happy to have my new name that Master chose. He did not chose shyanne. It was a spur of the moment decision to use that name. I'm sure it will take people a little while to get used to the fact I am now padme and not shyanne. This is a exciting change for me on this blog. We want to go furthur down our journey to the darkside. We can now do that as Anakin and Padme. :) Master gave me a new collar in my gift. I was so excited. I have two photos of it here in this post. I love the feel of it. My butterfly collar was getting so worn as I wear it in public and have worn it for two year's. He picked this one out for me. One of his favorite songs is Black Black Heart by David Usher. He says often that he is Darth with a black heart. So he wanted to give me a piece of this black heart. It's black and dark and I just love how it looks. I am so proud to wear this. It's subtle enough to wear around family and friends who don't know about our lifestyle. I wish we could find a star wars collar. lol. But I havn't found one yet. For one of my tattoo's that we will do next Master has talked about doing a black heart on my body somewhere. It would match my collar now. I hope maybe for our next anniversary we can do that. I hope Master knows that I love my new collar and name. I feel so close to him. I had a incredible Christmas Day with him. I got spoiled for Christmas. Master spoils me rotten. I got so many different gifts. My friends and family all gave me some incredible stuff. I talked to everyone who was important to me on Christmas day. S even sounded happy when I talked to her. I got so many candles from her that it should last me a year. lol. I even got a gift from my Dad. The only one I didn't talk to or receive a gift from was my brother. And that wasn't a bit surprise with everything going on. I gave Master some great star wars gifts. I will show some photos this week of some of them. We had a interesting few days leading up to Christmas. One of the most surprising moments was my Dad telling me he loves me. I ran into him at my Grandma's house during a visit. He phoned me with news about my brother on the 23rd and told me as we ended the phone conversation that he loved me. It was the first time in 33 years he said that to me. There is not good stuff going on with my brother. It was the down part of my holiday. I miss him terribly and several times had to hold back some tears when I thought of that situation. I didn't want to bring people down so I kept it all inside. I did two huge meals. One for Master's parent's and one for Christmas Eve. We did many traditional things for christmas. I was worn out by Christmas Eve. I wasn't spending enough time with my Master. So he arranged sitting for us yesterday. We got surprised with a overnight. And our daughter went with my ex to his families. Master and I went and saw King Kong in the theatre. We hadn't seen a movie in a while. It was over 3 hours but it was awesome. Some parts were very scary. I held Master's hand through it. I saw a commercial for the new Miami Vice movie coming out. I am a huge fan of Miami Vice. I got season 2 for Christmas from Master. I was so excited over that news. We headed out to Harrison but realized half way there we forgot our camera. I wanted to take some pictures there so I was a little upset. But we had a nice dinner there and walk around the lake. We kissed and made out at our special place at the lake. I felt so much undying love for Master. We had such a good talk. I was in such a good mood being there and I kept telling Master I was so excited about the new Miami Vice movie. I hope it's as good as the show. I was a huge Don Johnson fan. I had posters up in my room as a teenager of him. I thought he was a real Dom. So when we got home he told me we would watch a episode of Miami Vice the kinky way. He sent me up to get changed into my naughty school girl outfit and my nipple clamps. I was to bring the purple flogger down to him. He told me to wear the thong and my white socks and school girl shoes. I put my hair up in pony tails. I put on his favorite scent, cinnamon all over my body. I came downstairs to vodka ready for me in shooter glasses. We pigged out on chocolate with the vodka. There is nothing that gets me more horny and worked up as vodka. Anyone in R/t knows that I go very wild with it. I am Russian and I love how vodka makes me feel. After a few shots I was getting horny and Master and I watched the show for a bit. Then he made me open my shirt with the clamps on to tease my nipples. He used his flogger during the rest of the show on my nipples. A few times the clamps fell off due to how hard he was starting to whip my tits. I went into such a subspace that I barely remember the ending. I will have to watch that show again today to understand it. lol. He did nothing to me but flogging them over and over again. When it was over we went upstairs to play and have a few more shots of vodka. The play was rough and intense. I came several times. It was a huge build up to that play and I was so horny for Master. There was no camera but I liked the fact it was just the two of us for hours like that and just our memories. He pushed me hard last night. I didn't feel any of the pain he was giving to me. I was glad Master was able to let loose and get wild. I love when he's had a few drinks. He hardly ever plays when a bit intoxicated but it made it so much more rougher and intense. He called me Padme at one point and shoved my head down to suck on his cock. I worshiped it for a long time. I loved seeing him pleased with me. Master fucked my pussy hard and made me moan in pleasure and pain as my clamps were tight on my nipples while he fucked me. At one point he reached over to release the clamps and I begged him not to. "Please Daddy". I showed him my submissive eyes. I didn't want it to stop. I didn't want the evening to stop. It was a late night for us but it was worth being tired today from it. He stopped fucking me and told me he was going to jack off on my tits with the nipple clamps on them. After he was done I cleaned him up with my tongue. I was so happy to see him so relaxed. I got a OTK and a flogging on my ass. My bottom was so red last night. I needed it and loved getting it. He had me over his knee and spanking me harder and harder. The flogger was next and he had me on the pillow getting some of that. My tits were so flogged that they have marks today from it. What a wonderful way to spend Christmas night. I slept so solid last night in his arms. I was naked and feeling my new collar and feeling so proud to be his slave. What a great Christmas night. So much better than last year when we were fighting. I needed to remember my submission to him. He's off today and tommorow and I am enjoying my time with him. We hope to play more over the next few days. My force is so strong through him. I am his Padme...

Happy Holidays!

My shyanne and I want to thank all our blog readers for the support the last few months. I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and best wishes for the holidays. May the force be with you all this Christmas. shyanne and I will be back after Christmas for more blog posting and reading but for now we plan to spend our holidays with each other and our families. Happy holidays.

Master is on holidays

Here are two more Christmas photos to share with everyone. They are similar to ones we have put up but a bit different. One is the garland photo and the other the Christmas light bondage. :) I enjoyed doing these photos for the holiday season. Master Anakin is on holidays as of today. So we are both in playful moods and looking to relax and start to enjoy. We had a wonderful night together. I had a really good chat with a good friend of mine and time to play with Master and take some punishment for a few rules I had broken. My ass and tits have a few bruises from last night but I love that I was able to stay up having some play. All my presents are wrapped and no more shopping to do. I baked Master some Nanaimo bars today. I have never made them before and my Bah Bah used to make them every year. I want a traditional Christmas with him and our children. I think this year might be the best christmas yet. I am so thankful for my Master Anakin and children. For my friend's. For the special woman who has been making me smile. I hope she knows that she is important to me and a big reason I am smiling this year for the holidays. I am enjoying having a girlfriend again. To protect her name I will call her Laurie. I've been spending a lot of time with her lately and she's made me very happy. For all my blog reader's. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season. I am not sure how much I will be blogging now with Christmas getting so close. Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all! May the force be with you all... special holiday wishes go out from Master Anakin and I to all of you!

A flog for the blog

My shyanne took a photo of her own breast after I gave her some light flogging. I hope that it shows up in the photo. She got a lot of attention from her Master tonight and she's now feeling more centered. I'm off for Christmas break now and she begged for a little computer time chatting with her friend; I allowed it and she clearly enjoyed her chat. shyanne had a explosion of a orgasm tonight. She owes her Master some attention now and her ass is going to get punished with my flogger for some rule breaking. My happy, tired, centered slave is then going to be resting, dreams of Santa and his big black belt no doubt. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Stress

Is there anyone who is not stressed right now? S was so stressed at her son's birthday party that we came back early from Chuck E Cheese's. I came home to several e-mails from people so stressed out and wanting the holidays to be over. Even Master is stressed. I have punishment coming for breaking a rule last night. We are both feeling the strain of the holidays and little time running out. I didn't plan to do a blog post today but I figure I would vent in it. I want to be anywhere but here right now. I am in full hiding mode. I wish I could hide from Master but he won't let me. He also has his last day of work today and I've been told my computer time will be restricted to spend time on all the things I need to get done and time with him. He will be able to watch over me and control me a lot more being home for a week. I just hope we don't have the type of Christmas we did last year. Things got pretty bad. Master told me last night he's taking me to Harrison Hot Springs on Christmas day after our daughter leaves so we can spend some time alone from the world. I really could use a day away from things. I am craving escape more than ever right now. I know that when I go to Harrison I will feel a lot better and close to Master. It's the place we had our honeymoon and so many memories. We both love the buffet there. It's one of the best anywhere. The best foods of BC. The resort is first class and my favorite hotel. I hope we can spend a night there but we might not be able to. Thank you to all who have been there for this blog. My stats have been a bit down. I just hope everyone has been enjoying the photos and posts. I am trying to show people who I am more and express myself. I admit that I can't write poems. I am not a good writer. I just try to share who Master and I are with everyone. I am a feedback type of person. I really appreciate the comments. Please feel free to share your thoughts with me. I have a punishment spanking coming and I know that I deserved this for the way I was behaving. Perhaps it will release some of the stress I am feeling. I just want to go hide and not come out til the holidays are over.. Master Anakin, Your off in a few hours to start your holiday. I am sorry I have been difficult to deal with lately. So moody and not myself. I have so much coming down on me right now. S was extremely moody to be around today. I remember three years ago and when D was born. What a little guy. I almost feel like I'm his Aunt sometimes when knowing so much about him. I knew before G about her pregnancy. I felt her belly today and felt so sad I will never feel that again. I wish you would reconsider having another child with me. My soul aches to carry another baby for you. I wish this holiday stuff was over and we can be alone in Harrison. I love being there with you. I remember that one Christmas that we were so close. It was one of the best I ever had. I was pregnant with our son, Skywalker and you took me to Whitby Island in the States to get away for a few days. No family crap. No people around. Just you and me and our son in my belly. We went for walks down at the ocean and you looked into my eyes with such intense love. I hope we can get away for a night or two. I want to escape so badly right now and need to be alone with you. I am sorry I disappoint you and I am sorry I broke the rule last night. I feel like a terrible slave sometimes. I try my best but the child in me is so much there sometimes. I truly love to be your slave and I try to please you. I tried to make your favorite meal last night and cleaned the place up and I try to show you my love and devotion. I am so sorry I screw up so much. My soul is one of pure submission to you. Know that you are my force and I live to go down furthur on the path to the darkside...I love you now and always...

Stress release spankings

I am missing Master and loving him so much right now. He's truly helped me get through some of the dark times of my life. I enjoyed my weekend with him. He was so good to me. Master Anakin gave me extra computer time last night to talk to a good friend of mine. He knows that she makes me smile and cheers me up. He gave me some spankings and play. He has let some rules go for christmas holidays and gotten stricter wtih others. I love this picture taken on Friday night in my naughty school girl outfit. I was looking at it yesterday in amazement. I've really done well on my weight loss program that Master has had me on. He's letting some of my diet rules go for this week for the holidays to enjoy but I am so glad he's pushed me. I think back to 3 years ago and what I looked like and I was miserable and over 200 pounds. I have been pushed by Master to lose that weight and get looking great. If you look in the background of this photo our Star wars poster is up in our bathroom. Yes, we really are that big of fans. We have star wars stuff all through our house. I got Master a bunch of Star wars theme related presents for Christmas. Master is my Darth Vader. He called me Padme many times during our fucking and spankings this weekend. I keep thinking I should change my profile name to Padme instead of shyanne. Saturday Master and I had some sitting and had a afternoon together with no kid's. It was the first time we had sitting in two weeks and might not get anymore for a while due to the holidays. Master got right to the point after grocery shopping. "Upstairs young lady" he pointed. Oh goodie! A nice stress release spanking. Those are always the best. I was as interested in this as he was. I think I must have run up those stairs and bent over the bed hoping he would really lay into my ass. He came up and picked out a few toys to use on me. The purple flogger and riding crop and his paddle and then I heard him taking off his black belt. I love hearing it slide out of it's loops and hearing it jingle as it's going to belt me. I was told to get my pants and panties off and get over the pillow. Nothing but time for him to spank my ass uninterrupted. I was getting wet and he hadn't even started yet. He laid out the toys in front of me so I could see them and he started to spank me. First his belt. He didn't count and either did I. I've never wanted a spanking so badly. I could hear the crack of the belt and then feel it as it came down hard. He was wanting to punish my ass and I wanted to take it. "Please Daddy" was all I could mutter as it came down on my bottom making it red. He used the paddle next. I think I got about 20 of those. He made me spread my legs to see my pussy while he used this to redden my ass. "Good girl" he said to me. He was pleased I was taking it for him. For about two hours he spanked me in different positions and made my ass glow red. I could barely sit afterwards but boy was I a happy girl. There are times I want it very hard and he was all to happy to give that to me. He seemed calmer after the spankings. I enjoyed the crop a lot too. I havn't had that one in a while. Between that and the purple flogger my tits were sore and quite bruised. He loves to make my nipples erect with the tips of those instruments. He had me begging for him to fuck my ass. I love anal sex but we don't do it very often. It makes me feel so controlled and I have easy and huge orgasms during it. He knew I wanted to cum very shortly after starting to fuck my ass. He said in his Darth voice "Cum for me, my Padme" and I came so hard. Thank you Darth. Thank you for taking me and using me and making me feel your strength and power of the darkside. He gave me a huge hickie on my neck. He was biting my neck like a vampire driving me crazy. My friend, S was commenting on the size of it yesterday when I saw her. lol. I love when Master bites me. My lestat, my Darth, my force....I know that power of the darkside when he does things like that to me. He came back as I said in my other blog post for more spankings and sex and rum and egg nog's and a hot, steamy shower together. We watched Casino by candelight and had some great time together. I love when we have days where we just play and spend quality time together. I knew the rest of the week was going to be a little crazy and I needed it so badly. A spanking on my already sore ass was delicious and I was glad to have more red color added to my butt. What a way to relieve some stress. I want to go furthur with our rough sex lately and to truly feel his power and I love how we are starting to do more extreme play. We did some bondage also. He put me in the cuffs and leg cuffs and he used the belt on me more and didn't stop til it bled. I love when he goes til it really hurts and bleeds. It makes me feel the absolute surrender to him. That total power exchange between us. He knows when he does that to me that I will feel sooooo deliciously submissive for a few days to him and in a constant state of arousal. Even this morning all I can think of is him spanking me more and how I am craving that type of play with him. He fingered my pussy to feel it's wetness and then he would tell me to beg for more which I wanted. I wanted my ass to hurt. There are times when I am feeling absolute stress that all I want is to be taken away from it all for a while. For two hours I forgot about Christmas and stress and family crap. I floated in and out of subspace as he got dominant with me and he got hard spanking my firmed up red ass. I've really worked hard to get a good looking ass for Master to spank. He fucked me in my ass on Saturday after begging him to. I havn't been fucked in the ass in a while and I wanted absolute control from him. He made me cum several times for him. He let me know who controls me. People ask me why do I enjoy getting spanked? It's a easy answer. Nothing makes me wetter than a good spanking. I get soaked when he spanks me hard and really gets controlling. I love the after burn of a spanking and knowing he had some stress release himself. I love how kinky the sex can get after a good spanking. I love knowing that I am owned after a spanking. For two hours I was all his and thought of nothing but pleasing him and getting my ass hurt. It still has marks today to show for that time together. Our son came home and I watched Casino in my room. He told me I was grounded to my room all night and I truly love that for that time I could just be in a escape. I was thinking of Saturday this morning missing Master and wanting another stress release spanking. Master Anakin, Thank you for all the attention this weekend. For taking me away from it all for a while and getting us back on track with the discipline and spankings. You have been my rock with all the stress recently and I can't tell you how much I am in love with you. Today is a dark and rainy day and I am stuck in the house with two kid's and all I can think of is you and how badly I want to be snuggling up to you. My ass still has the marks from Saturday. Thank you for using your instruments of pain to make my ass glow red for you. Spankings bring us close and bond us like nothing else. Our sex was incredible this weekend. I didn't think anything could me me forget about christmas and the family shit but you did it. You let me forget and escape into our little heaven. Thank you for giving me the time to talk to my friend on messenger last night. You knew I had missed her and wanted to spend some time with her. She makes me smile. Thank you for all you do for me. You pushed me to get the gifts wrapped and now they are. You pushed me to lose the weight and I did. You pushed me in so many areas of my life and I am doing so much better than years ago. Thank you for everything....thank you for being my force...

Here comes Christmas

A lot of panic set in today. So much to do in a short amount of time. I am amazed I am able to do my blog post. This photo is me tied up with the black silk blindfold that was in my desire kit I gave Master for Christmas. It's very silky and very nice. He enjoyed getting that and the Who's Your Daddy sticker too. It was fun to get some play in this weekend. It could be the last play til after Christmas. There is so much to do. It's a overwhelming time for Master and I. Today was wrapping gifts and cleaning up and getting organized. I have S's son's bd this week. Master's parent's are coming on the 23rd for our dinner with them. And we celebrate our Christmas on Christmas Eve as I have to split the holiday with my ex husband with our daughter. This always frustrates me. That we can't have a normal christmas due to the ex. I am not sure if other people have a ex husband to deal with but it's not easy for me. He and I got into things on Friday. Him and his family like to try to take as much time with our daughter during this time of year. We plan to have a traditional meal on Christmas eve and do the present opening. I can't wait to serve Master a beautiful meal with all the trimmings. I've promised him some baking this week and plan to start that soon. S is having a few minor problems in her pregnancy and I've been helping her out too. What a crazy time. I am not sure how much blog posts I will be able to do this week with my computer time restricted. Master and I got play time again last night. I wanted to do nothing but relax as I knew the upcoming week was going to be crazy. I didn't feel up to doing much. I watched the movie, Casino on tv by candlelight and had some rum and egg nog. It was a long movie and interesting about Las Vegas and had some big stars in it. Master put our son to bed and came and joined me. We had a few drinks and started to talk. I was wearing my Bad Kitty nightshirt and no panties and he started to feel me all over. He wanted to spank me so he told me to lean over his knee and I took a hand spanking from him. After he warmed up my ass he started to touch me to get me excited. We fucked long and slow with the movie in the background and candles burning. There was some sucking and fucking and spankings. We cuddled up close afterwards and watched the rest of the movie together. I told him I wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in his arms and I went to bed a very happy slave. I know this week will get crazy and there is so many family problems going on in my family right now. I just hope my brother doesn't show up on my doorstep. That's my biggest fear right now. Two more days of work and then Master is off to spend time with me and our children for a traditional family christmas all together. There is so much stress and I can tell that everyone around us is as stressed as we are. I feel so badly for my friend, S. She's on my mind right now. My neighbor is also pregnant and due in a few weeks. I've been thinking about my Bah Bah a lot the last few days. I miss her so much right now. She was my inspiration. And I've never been the same since she passed away. I remember all those christmas's with her and my grandpa. She was the best part of the holidays. My dad had tried to contact me but that's not a big surprise. He figures he can flying into the picture and be a Dad and grandpa even though there's been no communication the last year. I can't wait til this christmas thing is over and life can get back to normal. I havn't been feeling like myself and so many others are beyond stressed. My force is there with Master...he is getting me through it all...

Who's Your Daddy?

Here is pictures of Master's Christmas presents from me. A sticker saying Who's your Daddy with Darth Vader on it and a desire kit which had a bunch of things in the tin. Master says he's going to put the sticker on his car. Everyone knows he loves Star wars so much. I guess everyone will know he's my Daddy. The sticker is priceless I think. I couldn't believe that Spencer's gifts really had a sticker like that. I just had to get it. It has Darth Vader on it and says Who's Your Daddy? LOL. That was one of the best gifts I bought this year and it was only five bucks. Obviously I know who my Daddy is and he is Darth Vader. *smiles* I so in love with my Daddy. He took me away from it all last night and let me escape from this holiday stress and tension into some play. I had the worst day yesterday. Things kept going wrong for me. I was beyond my limits by the time Master walked in the door. He saw the look on my face and told knew I was in bad shape. I was close to tears and ready to have a breakdown. He took me to Rogers to rent a few funny movies and to Swiss Chalet to get my favorite chicken. I don't eat red meats and my favorite food is chicken. Anyone who knows me in R/t knows that I eat chicken all the time. I don't remember the last hamburger I had. My digestive system is better since elimanating the red meats from my diet. He also picked up my Jackson Triggs Merlot that I love so much also. After watching some tv he ran a hot bath for me with my Lush Dream Time which relaxes me. I relaxed in some water and read my Tantra book. I felt more relaxed. He told me I could go talk to my friend on messenger as she cheers me up so much but no blogs or other computer stuff. I was pretty much baned from the computer all day. He let me talk to my friend for quite a while. I think he knew I was relaxing and talking with her and that I was feeling a bit better. I went through some of my old photos and enjoyed looking at times with Master. It was starting to get me horny. After I got off the computer and our son was in bed we went up to our bedroom. We took a bunch of photos. I was in my new naughty girl school girl outfit and red thong panties. I had shaved my pussy for him and put on his favorite perfume. We did some play with our purple flogger. He flogged my tits a bit and got me excited. He told me to bend over and used it on my ass to redden it. Then I told him I had bought him some private gifts that I wanted to give him without people around. So he opened the two gifts. His jaw dropped at the sticker. I know I was surprised when I bought it that there was such a thing. The Desire Kit I bought at Spencer's contained a book about Seduction, a red candle to set the mood, sexy dice game for unpredictable fun, Sandalwood massage oil, and a black silken cloth strip to arouse your lover. So we gave each other a massage with the oil. Put on some rock music on the radio. Lite the candle and put on some porn. He blindfolded me and he played with the dice a little. He would roll the dice and it would say lover's choice lips and he would kiss me passionately on the lips. I felt helpless with the blindfold when he tied me with the soft rope. He went down on me and had me moaning in pleasure. I wanted him badly. A week with no sex or play created a buildup in me. I felt ready to explode. He started to fuck my very wet pussy at this point. I was begging "please Master. Please take me" And he was all to happy to give it to me hard. He decided to jack off in the middle and he told me he was going to cum on my face and tits. So I opened up my school girl top and he came on me. It was amazing and he was very excited and the cum even went in my hair. He made me lick up some of the cum and put it in my mouth. I was happy to please Master. He made me cum with my vibrator. I was ready for it and it didn't take long to explode after he gave me permission for it. We had a snack and laid together talking for a while. It felt like heaven just being alone with him like that. I felt so close to him. I fell asleep a way happier slave last night. All my troubles behind me for a while. He told me he would be my Darth Vader last night after getting that sticker and several times he called me Padme while fucking me and trying to make me cum. I love being Master's Padme. Master doesn't know it but I bought him a Lightsaber at the mall too. He has told me he wants to fuck me with one. This is Master's fantasy. So I hope we are able to go that after I give him that present today. :) He is my dark force. My fantasy. My love.....

Fit to be tied

As Shyanne's Master I've decided that My Shyanne has too much happening right now in her life, so I have chosen to severely restrict her computer time such that she can better deal with certain very stressful family issues, as well as general Christmas time commitments and stress. I thought that you might enjoy this picture of her tied in a beautiful red silk ribbon. I've told her that she's grounded from the computer tonight and most nights during the holidays. I will allow her to do a daily post on our blog, but I will otherwise be restricting her computer time for her own good. It has been a difficult day for My slave and she will be put to bed early tonight. My shyanne has some time coming over my knee for a few things she hasn't been keeping up with. I hope to show My slave some attention tommorow night.

Killing Me Softly

My top 3 movies that are my favorite are Queen of the Damned, Revenge of the Sith and Killing me Softly. This is a picture from that movie. I have put up several pictures from that movie. I've seen it so many times now. It always get me to fantasize. The movie stars Heather Graham and Joseph Fiennes. I thought this was one of most erotic movies I had seen. Last night after completing my Christmas shopping I came home and had a hot bath and came down to watch some tv and this movie was on. Master came in and had a big smile. He knows that this movie turns me on. She is in a vanilla relationship with a man and she meets him on the street. They fall madly in love. He controls her. During their honeymoon he takes her to a log cabin deep in the woods alone and he uses breath control on her using a white silk scarf. It's highly charged and erotic scene. I've asked Master to do this to me a few times to recreate the scene. He bought me a white silk scarf one Christmas and I love it. He's tied me with it and also put it around my neck. I watched this scene yesterday feeling very horny. Master has told me we are not playing til Friday night. So I have to remain horny for him and needing him so badly. I wanted a honeymoon like theirs so badly. That fantasy of being in a log cabin far away from the world. So I can really scream as he spanks me and plays with me. That we can be all alone and just the two of us. I hope maybe one day I'll be able to live out that fantasy with him. I had begged him for that type of honeymoon. But we had already commited to plans at the Harrison Hot Springs hotel which is a very first class hotel in BC. We love Harrison and there has been many memories for us there. We call our special place by the lake "our place." We have such amazing memories there. I hope to write about my honeymoon one day and some of our wild stories. I love to think back to that time. How crazy in love I was feeling and so horny for sex. We fucked so much in those few days. We fucked on the sand on the beach. We fucked in a bathtub. We fucked on the balcony where someone could have seen us. We could barely stand to be apart for a second. He spanked me so many different ways during our honeymoon. On our wedding night after signing my TPE contract he gave me my first spanking as his wife. It was a highly charged wedding night. We spent almost all night fucking and spanking and kissing. I felt so owned after becoming his wife. I had his name. I signed that contract and let him take over. It was what he wanted to do from the beginning. I finally surrendered to him. I gave up control with the money and my name and so many different things that I fought him on for years. We had a traditional wedding. I remember him looking at me with his Darth look several times during our vows. We had our own set of vows for our wedding night. A ceremony while I signed our TPE contract. And he then signed it also. It was a defining moment for me. I loved that we got married on our anniversary of our engagement and that day was also the day I became his slave. A wife. A slave. Commiting to spend the rest of my life with him. A few people said we had one of the more romantic weddings they ever saw. Master did almost all the work on it. He wanted it to be perfect. He is a major perfectionist. He did the wedding website. I don't think he slept for the six weeks we spent organizing our wedding. I felt ready to take that step. To finally give him the power. I hope Master knows that my wedding night was perfect. That whole day was amazing. The sun shone so bright. S and my sister helped me to get ready for it. I just will never forget him walking me proudly down the aisle to Hearts of Space, the love theme from the movie, Rob Roy. Me wearing my pink wedding gown and him in his suit. He he looked at me so dominantly before he took me down the aisle. My dad wouldn't do it so my Daddy did it instead. He sang to me in front of everyone, I want to Grow Old with You. He sang it from his heart and voice. His own Grandma cried saying it was the most romantic thing she ever saw a man do for his bride. Master is just like that though. His love pours from his heart. His love is so surrounding. He had to do a wedding that would be about us and his commitment and love. He is my Rob Roy. A proud and loyal family man. A man who I know would do anything to protect me. I hope he knows that I love him so very much. Now and forever. A true amazing force that guides me. Master is the true romantic. One of his gifts to me on our wedding night was a love poem from his heart. I have it on my wall so everyone can see it. I am going to go read it right now and dream of Master. There is one scene in the movie where she tells her friend that everything is more with him. I know how that is. I was in such a vanilla marriage and then I got together with Master and everthing was more. The love I feel for him is intense. When we are apart I feel like I am not complete. I need him here with me so badly. I am needing a spanking from him so badly. I was so happy with what I got him at the mall for Christmas. I hope he likes all the things I bought. I love to spoil Master as he spoils me. I spent lots and got him all his favorites. I like to take care of him and please him during the holidays. He has 3 1/2 days of work and then he's off for the holidays. I can't wait to spend so much time with him. I just hope I don't earn the spanking I did last year of 3 days of Mr. Cane. It's not a punishment I hope to ever get again. I am trying to get organized early for it so I am not so stressed. It's hard when there are family problems though. My Mom phoned last night and all the family drama came out. I do feel badly for my Grandma who has full blown alzheimer's and is in worse shape after my Grandpa died. It doesn't sound like a good situation. My Mom is not handing it all well. I've been thinking about her a lot today. I talked to S. I did get her baby something at the mall too. She's getting so big. I was feeling her baby move in her tummy the other day and she sure is getting big. I feel like such a part of her pregnancy. I am kind of excited about getting my newborn fill when the baby comes. She's promised me lots of babysitting. :) Master Anakin, I am trying to write you in our blog every single day so you know my thoughts and I know you liked this. I am able to share how I feel with you how I am feeling. I am having such a hard time being apart from you today. I am fatigued and not having a lot of energy. I promise to get to wrapping some gifts like you ordered. I was feeling down today and looked over at our wedding picture and remembered that day and how much I am in love with you. Thank you for giving me the wedding of my dreams, Husband. I am so glad to share that level of commitment with you. I loved watching some of that movie with you last night. You know it affects me. I wanted to play sooooooo badly last night. I was fantasizing about you spanking me. Using the scarf on me. Being bound and used by you. I could feel your power last night. Do you have any idea how you affect me? You left me horny last night. You know it's driving me crazy. We are having a build up so Friday can be intense. Perhaps more rough play if that is what you desire. You know by Friday I will be dying to have you spank me and fuck me and use me. We will play and escape into our fantasies for a night. Who will you be? Lestat? Darth Vader? Anakin? My Daddy? My dark force?

Purple flogger

I forgot to put up a picture of our new flogger that we got from our very good friends. They sent me the naughty school girl outfit and this flogger. Master Anakin really enjoys using the flogger on me. It feels very soft but yet biting on my tits and ass. I hope our friends know that this gift was incredible and we feel so lucky to have them in our lives. I hope they like what we got them too for Christmas. I spent most of last night talking to a good friend of mine. She sure makes me smile. :) I've had a pretty good day today. I am missing Master Anakin a lot. We plan to take our kid's to see Santa at the mall tonight. Master has told me I have two hours to finish my shopping so I'll be going as fast as I can to do that. I am not sure what to get Master. I want to get him a Master type of gift but I am not sure what. He does so much for me all year round. I was thinking about finding a sexy type of outfit at La Senza for him. He loves to see me in stuff from that store. Or maybe just get naked and put Christmas bows all over me for him. Or maybe I'll offer up my ass to get a good OTK spanking from him. Does any other slaves have this problem? Trying to find the perfect gift for their Master? I wish I could go to the sex stores to look for something but Master won't let me go alone. Some of the closest ones are in Whalley and it's a bad area of town. I feel so grateful for Master right now. He let me stay on the phone last night because he knew it would make me so happy. He's been so wonderful and yet dominant to me. I think he's just amazing. I was glad to see some positive comments about him in my comments on my last blog post. I think Master is truly a true Dominant. He has 9 years of experience and read the book, The Loving Dominant twice. He's had a mentor, Master R help to teach him to be a better Dom. He's spent years on the internet researching the lifestyle. He has been in the army and learned to be very patient and disciplined. I remember a conversation long ago with my friend, nikki. She told me she was so jealous of my relationship with Master and how dominant he was that she wanted to know what it was like. So I told her that she could share him with me. It let her experience what she had wanted in her very vanilla marriage with C. Master was dominant before he met me. He was dominant through our friendship and in the beginning of our relationship. He is self assured and patient and understanding. I want to tell the world how much I love him and how this Christmas I feel so grateful to have him in my life. He decided to pass the book, The Loving Dominant to another friend who he felt would enjoy and learn from the book like he did. I really encourage others to read the book. I also read it as well as Master. It was one of the best lifestyle books I read. Master Anakin, I have been thinking about you all day. You are one of a kind and I am so grateful to be your slave. Thank you for being everything that I desired in a man for so long. You are a true force in my life and I appreciate all you do for me. I look forward to the holidays with us and our children and a traditional family Christmas. I can't wait to cook for you and serve you while you are off and enjoying time with me. I wish I had millions of dollars and could send us on a trip to LA or Calgary or New York. I know we could use some time away. I hope you know that you are my soulmate and I am so in love with you...my force, my love, my Master....

slave's punishment

I had a really bad day yesterday. Things kept getting worse for me. I got a phone call from my sister with all the family news which of course is usual crap. I love how my family seems to get beyond dysfunctional around the holidays. And of course, even my Dad had to try to get in there. He tends to like to come flying into the picture for the holidays. Try to pretend to be a Dad to me and a grandfather to my kid's. Master won't allow him near me though. My Dad is like poison to me. I was in a really stressed out mood by the time I got off the phone. I hadn't done dinner and Master was hungry and angry with me. He let a lot of things go due to my bad mood. Until the pillow got thrown. I really try hard to be a good slave. But even good slaves get into moods and get beyond their limits. I was mad at the world and Master was the one to take it out on last night. I was overtired and stressed due to holiday stuff and family crap. I did several mouthy comments and he let it go and just gave me warning looks. Then I got angry over something he said and I threw a pillow which hit him in the back of the head. He just turned and said "we'll deal with that later." And he gave me his Darth look. It was the look that said he had enough and I would be punished. I did a big pout on the couch but didn't say or do anything else. As he was putting the kid's to bed he told me to go to the basement and wait for him. He told me to lift my night shirt and put my ass on the cold desk down there and wait for him no matter how long it took. And to think about why I was so out of control. So I went down there and waited on the desk. I wasn't wearing panties and the desk was freezing cold. I was nervous and knew he was angry and it would be a punishment spanking. Those are so much different than play spankings. I waited about 20 minutes down there and my nipples got very erect from it being so cold. I was shivering a bit but decided I better stay where I was to not anger him more. He came in and locked the door and by the look in his eye I knew what was coming. He turned up the music on the cd player. It was our Ultimate fighting music that we both work out to. Our basement is all concrete. You can't hear anything in it. I know when I am getting punished there that it's going to get loud. He lectured me for quite a while. He asked me a lot of questions to get to the root of the problem. I was getting a bit nervous at this point. His voice was firm and very in control. He asked me about my cage fantasy. He told me he was tempted to lock me in the basement for the night to feel his control but he was worried it was too cold. I was ordered to strip and bend over the desk and to stick my ass in the air for a punishment spanking. I heard him unbuckle his belt and I could hear it jingling. I got very nervous at this point. A punishment spanking with Master's belt is not a fun experience. This was not about play or sex. He was going to teach me a lesson and he did. He told me to grib the sides of the desk and to not move or he would add another ten onto the thirty I was getting hard. At one point I struggled and he added another ten just like he said he would. I knew in the first five strokes of his belt that he meant business. My ass felt like it was on fire and he was really laying into it. I thought about begging at one point but knew not to as that angers him more. I tried to not move but it got harder as he kept going. There was no subspace. No chance to escape. Just me taking my punishment from him. After the 40 he told me to go to the corner in the one area of the basement and to think about why I got punished and he lectured me more. His voice was very angry with me. I was close to tears and he knew it. He did a lot of mind fucks with me. He whispered in my ear and told me that I wouldn't ever throw something at him again or he would double it and next time wouldn't be as easy. I certainly didn't think he went easy on me. This morning I looked in the mirror and noticed several black and blue bruises on my thighs. He took me by the arm and took me upstairs to bed. There was no touching or sex. Just punishment for a slave that was out of control. I feel asleep in his arms and wanted to make it up to him. I felt so bad in my heart. I really do hate to disappoint him. I wish I wasn't so childish. I have a hell of a temper and I hate that I do this to the people I love. We do domestic discipline. I don't get punished like that very often and when it happens I usually feel extremely guilty after for disappointing Master. He treats me so good and I get so childish. I know I deserved a hard punishment and believe me, it was very hard. Master has become a real expert at giving me his belt and my ass was so sore when he was done. I feel more centered today. I still have so much stress and so much to do but I feel more centered. I went Christmas shopping with S and came home and got a few things done. Master is on my case about the things that have to be done in the next week. I've been spending too much time on the computer the last few days and not getting enough done for our Christmas holidays. He's told me there will be several restrictions put on me in the next while to get what needs to get done. I have baking, wrapping, more shopping, Santa tommorow, cleaning and organizing. I hope Master knows that I felt good over my shopping today. I am close to done and can begin to wrap the gifts. Master Anakin, I am so sorry I was so out of control last night. I feel so bad for being so mouthy and bitchy. I am sorry I let my family stress get into our lives. I need to learn to find ways to deal with stress without taking it out on you. I hate that I get so unsubmissive as it's in my heart and you are the best thing in my life. Thank you for teaching me and being so strong with me during a time I need it most. I miss you so much today. I love you...

Weekend Play

I hope everyone has had a chance to read my new story that I wrote with my friend, mona. We wrote a fantasy story of meeting in LA and our spanking and time with Nicolas Cage. It was a great story to write. I spent most of yesterday on it and wanted to get it up for my blog. I think it's a great read. Thank you to everyone who has given their positive feedback on it. Mona and I had a lot of fun writing it. I had a lot of weekend play and it's hard to come down from it today. I hate Monday's and I feel like I have a long week ahead. So many commitments and plans. I have shopping plans with my friend, S to hopefully complete my Christmas shopping tommorow. My mind is on Master and a lot of the play we had this weekend. Friday was a intense night. One that I will never forget. Master Anakin had a lot of rough and dark play. I love seeing the sadist come out to play with me that night. Master was so dominant and demanding of me that night. We did our photos in the basement. This is one of my full school girl outfit I wore from that night. We had gotten that gift from our friends and I wanted a chance to model it for him and to take pictures of me in it. Our play was so rough that I have a hard time remembering certain parts of the last bit. It was highly erotic. He was my vampire, my Lestat. He watched me cut myself and he enjoyed his vampirism of me. I asked him to wear the vampire teeth from Halloween and to be my Lestat and he said he would. He bite my neck. He did so many incredible things to me. He had me ready to cum and he hadn't even touched my pussy yet. It was such a dark night and so incredible. I felt so bonded to him on a whole new level after that night. I honestly would do anything for my Master. He has a power over me. I surrender to him on all levels of my soul, mind, body and heart. My ass and tits are still sore from the heavy play. Saturday we did some really fun play. We went out to for dinner with his parent's and brother and sister in law. He told me what to wear and how to do my hair. He told me right before entering the restraunt that he would signal to me when to go to the bathroom but then I must go and go into the stall and take off my heart panties I was wearing and put them in my purse. I must masturbate but not cum. Then I must come back wearing no panties under my jeans. So I did as I was told. I was horny for Master. I was needing him so badly. I had a hard time trying not to show my big horny smile to all who were at the table. Master looked into my eyes so deeply that I almost feel into a subspace right then and there. We came home and put our son to bed for more play. We talked with some friends for a long time. We did something different on Saturday night that I swore I wouldn't do. It was Master's idea and he decides. So I decided to give it a try. I'm glad I did. It was a hot experience. :) Yesterday I worked mostly on the Nic story and was pretty worn out after. My eyes were blurry from so much time at the computer. He took care of me. Got me dinner and let me rest on him as we watched a movie with our kid's. I kept looking at him and thinking of Friday night. Master truly has a ability to make me want to do anything for him. His power over me grows stronger and stronger. It almost scares me at times how needy and dependant on him I have become. I want to be around him. When he's not here with me, I feel myself going into a dark place. He is my light. He is my force. I need that force to be strong. Today I was feeling myself slide into that dark place. I felt depressed and no energy and gloomy. He phoned me on his lunch hour from a pay phone at his work. He wanted to talk to me with no one around. He got extremely dominant on the phone with me. He talked me through it and he put me right back into place. He talked of Friday night and what else he wants to do to me. How I am his slave and I am owned by him. That cage fantasy is so strong today. I want to be locked away by my Master and for him to take away my responsiblities and demands of this week. I just want him to control my whole. I know for many they don't understand TPE or what that means to me. It goes beyond the bedroom. Beyond the spankings. Beyond the play. It is complete. He is the one who decides everything in my life. It took so many years to get to the point we are at. A long and at times very hard journey to get to the point that I honestly feel we have a total power exchange. I hope Master Anakin knows that my mind is only on him today. Of being his slave and of being controlled. Master mentioned doing the next story with me. We have never written a story together before. I was thinking of that one about Lestat. I could write about Friday night and how we lived out that fantasy. My force lives through him.

New Story with Mona

I have worked on my new Nicolas Cage story today with my friend, Mona. Master Anakin really wanted me to get this story up as we promised everyone that we would be putting it up. Our new story, Shyanne and Mona's Meeting in LA is now up for everyone to read. Mona and I both worked hard together to bring it all together. This was my first experience writing a story with someone else and it was a fun one and a nice fantasy. It's of our meeting down in LA and a surprise from our Master's and also a spanking and some fun with Nicolas Cage who Mona and I both have the major hots for. I really hope everyone will get a chance to read the story and give Mona and I some feedback. This is one of the longest stories for our blog but also a fun fantasy and a great read. I know it got me turned on today writing it with Mona. She put in a lot of time also helping me to bring this story out to you all. Mona is a great friend of mine and someone I would very much like to meet one day. :) I hope you all enjoy the read. I will blog post more about my weekend tommorow. I really wanted to make sure this story got up for everyone. Enjoy and may the force be with you all! :)

Christmas garland bondage

I got a lot of play time last night with Master Anakin. It was very needed and I am so happy and relaxed this morning. I'm still horny just thinking of some things that happened. I took a bath and relaxed in my new lavender bubble bath. Lavender is one of my favorite scents. I relaxed and read my Tantra book. I shaved my pussy for him and got dressed up. I wore my hair back for half the night and the other half I had in pig tails. I wore my new school girl outfit from our friend's. It's tight with my top and short and sexy with the skirt. Master wanted me in my red butterfly thong. We havn't had real play in almost a week. My period had stopped and I was horny and needing him. I did my make up and relaxed with a glass of merlot. Then we headed down to the basement. It was freezing cold though which made my nipples erect. We took a bunch of photos. These two are the christmas ones. I wanted to get these up right away. I will put more pics up as the week goes along. There was so many to chose from. We went upstairs after for some play. We went into our bedroom and took more photos and he used the new purple flogger on me to try out. The one mark on my breast stung and made me gasp. It's a very nice toy. It has a bit of a bite to it. He got me to go over the pillow and he used it on my ass. Master then pulled down my thong, climbed on me and fucked my very wet pussy. He thrusted hard into me. I was in a deep subspace. I remember begging him over and over to fuck me more. He ordered me to cum at one point and I came. He whispered in my ear "good girl". He came and then ordered me to lick him off. We played more. He used his cane on me at one point. I wanted to feel it on my ass. He was happy to give to to me. We did some different type of play also. I know not everyone is into cutting but it's a passion of mine. I did some of that also. :) I feel close to Master Anakin and happy to have some time with him this weekend. All I can think of is doing more play. I'm horny and happy and a well rested slave. I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. May the force be with you all. :)

TGIF

Thank god it's Friday. I'm so glad it's the end of the week. I'm in a better mood this morning than all week. Here's a picture from before of Master having his leash on me with the red velvet tie that is from my robe. We took a few great pictures of this tie. My nipple is very erect from his doing this. I love to be on a leash. I had a really relaxing night. Hung out on messenger and talked to a friend. I had a friend from the past contact me on there also. Was really good talking to that friend. They are not a lifestyle friend but I had missed talking to them. I talked to a good friend of mine til late. I had a lot of wonderful conversation with her. :) She had sent me out a wonderful christmas present from her and her Master. It's a wonderful gift. She told me it was ok to share the the gift with the blog. We got a beautiful purple flogger and a naughty school girl outfit. This outfit is different than my other one. It's sexier and naughtier. It's a much shorter skirt than my other one. The white top is very tight and revealing for my breasts. The mail was never so exciting! What a amazing gift. Master and I can't wait to try out the flogger this weekend and for me to wear that outfit so we can take some photos and share one with the blog. We also promised our friends that we would take some special private photos just for them for sending such a sexy gift. *big smiles* I hope my friend knows how much my conversation meant to me last night. Master Anakin and I are both enjoying our friendship with them. I hope they like the gift we sent them. It was very sexy also. :) I hope she knows that I was in the worst moods of my life til I talked to her. She made me smile and I can't get her off my mind this morning. I gave Master a blow job last night after I got off the computer. He needed to relax and some attention from slave. I was happy to serve him on his knees. He has been stressed due to his parent's move and other R/t issues. I was so happy to see him close his eyes and allow me to please him with my mouth. We didn't do any play or spankings. It was late. So we cuddled up close and fell right asleep. I was very happy. Last night was really nice for me. My force is feeling stronger today and I feel submissive to Master right now. I am hoping for some play time with him. I havn't had a spanking in a while and I am craving one really bad. I would love to be OTK and feeling his big hands spanking my bottom! I hope everyone enjoys their weekend...may the force be with you all. Master Anakin, I am missing you so much today. I'm so glad it's Friday. I can't wait to slip into my naughty school girl outfit that our friends sent us and take some photos of myself in them. That outfit makes me feel so naughty. I hope you'll use our new flogger on my ass and tits and do a little play with your slave tonight. I am so horny that I could explode this morning. Just thinking of last night is turning me on and I need you so badly. I love that you relaxed last night and let me suck on your cock. I hope you'll let me do a lot more for you this weekend. I am feeling so submissive to you this morning. You got me back into line last night. You made me know you are in control. Thank you for setting me straight and letting me know who owns me. I love you so very much and I am so glad your pleased with me...

Master R

It was hard to write about Master R yesterday. It opened up some wounds and made me really think about a few things. I felt highly emotional after writing that blog post. I was very worried people would judge me. I appreciate the questions and positive comments. This isn't easy for me. The only one who knows about R in my R/t is my sister. I did tell her about R. She was pretty understanding as she also has had open relationships before in the past. I usually get asked more questions about R then anyone else in my past. I don't mind answering questions. Master Anakin and I have had some good talks about him the last few day's. Master Anakin has been so busy that he hasn't been able to find enough time for me and to relax. I know he's got responsibilities. I love him and know he is there for his family. I told Master Anakin last night that I was tempted to call R yesterday. He told me that is his decision and I thought about it. He's right. We have a TPE and it's up to him to decide things like that. I spent last night doing many chores for Master. We get our furniture from his parent's today and we had to be ready for it. I was worn out by the time he came home. I can't wait for more time with him. It may not be til this weekend but I miss him deeply. I am not doing well with such little time together. He's my rock and I need his guidance and strength right now. My relationship with R was very complex. He was my mysterious stranger that I didn't even know his last name. I only had his cell phone to be able to reach him. He had no children with his wife and his wife travelled so he had time on his own a lot. He worked near to where we lived at the time. It was easy to swing by on a moment's notice. It made it very interesting. I thought in this blog post I would talk more about R to help people understand but also maybe put things into perspective for me. It's been good to write about him and to really think about things. R was a mentor to me. He worked through many issues with me. He taught me about submission and to really live your fantasies. He told me that first time he phoned me that he would be my safe and discreet fantasy man. He never told me he loved me. I never told me either. It wasn't about love. It was definatly about friendship. I cared about him deeply. I told him things that I have only shared with Master Anakin. I made myself vulnerable to him and I lived out many of the fantasies I had inside of my head. Being with two men was so different than two women. R was strict and very dominant and sadistic. Master Anakin tends to be a more loving but dominant man. Master Anakin will let me charm him sometimes and use my flirtations. He's always my Master but he loves me. R didn't love me. It was all about being Master and slave. I think many people have never understood how my level of submission to Master Anakin. If he tells me to go get spanked by another man, I do it. If he tells me to go get that man to jack off on my face, I do it. I am a slave to him. I submit to him. No matter what he asks. He decided when I would become pregnant. He decided if I should work or not. He decided if I could drive or not. It's a TPE for a reason. Master Anakin decided to bring R in. It took two years. R said it wasn't about sex. After all, he had amber and his wife and probably other women. R was very patient and he had some very open conversations with Master. I was allowed to read a few e-mails between them. Two very intelligent men who clashed a few times over who would be the first to control me and have final say. Master Anakin wanted to make sure he completely trusted R and there would be rules for him to follow but me too. Being controlled by two men was not easy. I look back now wondering how I did it. I think my fantasy of being with more than one man came from the Story of O. I read it as a teen and a few times in my marriage. I didn't tell my ex I was reading it. I was ashamed of my dark fantasies. I used to fantasize that I was O. Master Anakin was sending me away for training. That I would be sent to Paris and like O, have to submit like that to a bunch of men hiding their faces. This fantasy consumed me. Being sent to R for a harsh spanking was a huge fantasy and when it finally came true, was truly amazing. I was nervous and excited. I had rules from Master Anakin and he sent me on my way wearing what they both had chosen for me. I was taken out for dinner. R had a way of making you feel like you were a princess. Very dominant and very demanding that you pay full attention to him. I wasn't attracted to him in the beginning but he did grow on me. I was taken to a hotel and I was spanked and taken. I was to report back to Master Anakin exactly what we did. Master Anakin got very horny over what he did to my ass that night. He liked the fact he could send me away and get that spanked by another man and have him do things to me. R was very safe. We never had actual sex. He did many things sexually to me and me to him though. I felt safe with him. R was my friend for many years before we acted out our fantasies. I was spanked at one point with Master Anakin and R in the same room. It was hard for me to submit to them both. So much testosterone in the room. One would bark a order and I would get a spanking. Then I would go to the other who was on the other side of the room to get a spanking from him. I crawled across the floor to R and then would get up on his lap and get spanked OTK and then he would send me to Master Anakin for the same thing. I felt very humiliated and very horny. I remember cumming many times that night. They liked to play mind games. I swear sometimes they set it all up. I didn't read half the e-mails between them. I wished many times amber was there to even things out. But her and Master Anakin didn't get along too well and she was having marriage problems and then moved too far to play. A song that reminded me of R is Sarah McLachlan's Building a Mystery. R very much built a mystery. I didn't know very much about him personally. He knew so much about me and more than any other man besides Master. Yet I hardly knew his past or much of his life outside the lifestyle. R told me I was the most childish woman he ever met but he also said I had a submissive soul. He was like a marriage councellor and helped me work through many issuse of my being a slave and serving my Master Anakin. I will always be so grateful for that. I learned a lot from it all. I know Master did too. I would love for him to talk about this in a blog post. I am always so curious of his thoughts. R had a slave name for me. He was very tough with me and wouldn't let me hide either. One day I wouldn't pick up the phone. I was angry with him over something. He kept phoning. When I didn't pick it up, he came over. It was the weekend and my daughter was at her ex's. Master was at work. I was half expecting the phone to ring again. The door knocked. I was *shocked* to see him standing on my doorstep. He had a very angry look on his face. He told me he would always phone first. But I had angered him and he was at his wits end. I can be a hell of a child. I have some big tantrums. Often the people I play with don't understand this. R had enough. He came in and asked if I was alone. I said I was. He then asked to use the phone and call Master. I got very nervous at this point. I watched him make the call. I heard R talking to him about my behavior. Master Anakin was angry and told him to punish me hard for it. I got on the phone with Master to discuss this first. So I was spanked very hard with the crop. 50 times with the crop. Bent over the bed and submitting to him. It was one of the few times I cried. I was feeling so bad for acting that way. R was very harsh with that crop. He swung it over and over very hard. My ass feeling like it was on fire. R was very strict about it. Nothing sexual about it at all. Just a very harsh spanking which he felt he had to give me and it couldn't wait. I was then told when he left that Master Anakin was going to do the exact same thing when he came home from work for it. 50 more with the crop. My ass was sore but I remember being very horny over this. Master Anakin came home and I got a lecture and had to take another 50 bent over hard. Then I had to phone Master R and apologize again. I was not allowed to disrespect either of them. A lot of people might look at it from a sexual angle. There was sexual stuff but a lot of it was about D/s and some DD. That day I never had a orgasm. It was just about punishment for my behavior. There would be months I wouldn't see R but yet we talked through e-mails and many phone calls. There were a few fantasies we never did get to do but I will never forget how some of those times felt. How intense and extremely exciting the play was. R was not happy when amber and I broke the rule. We drank too much that night at Red Robin and secrets came out. I was deeply fascinated by their level of play. Such heavy play. She had lived that fantasy of being taken by a bunch of men. My mind was spinning by the end of the night. We both had been told that we could kiss and make out but both Master Anakin and R didn't want us sleeping together. So amber and I never slept together. But we did have that interesting talk. Such a amazing feeling to discuss R with her and talk to someone about sharing a Master like that. I still think it's funny that Master Anakin and a neighbor came driving by the Red Robin to check on me that night. Master wanted to make sure I was following the rules. I am only allowed to play when he says so. R was a different Master and I am glad for that experience. I know for a fact I am a better slave for it. That it was as sort of training for me. I am glad Master Anakin and I have been discussing him. We got a really nice Christmas present yesterday in the mail from some friend's. It meant a lot to us. We can't wait to try those gift's out this weekend. It made a shitty day yesterday a little more happier. They are very good friend's and we are enjoying our friendship with them very much. They must have known us pretty well. The gift's pleased Master last night. We weren't able to play but we hope to this weekend. Those friend's know who they are and I hope they know they've become important to us and we appreciate our friendship with them very much. :)