Stress Relief

I thought I would do a blog post this morning and talk about some stress relief I have had in the last 24 hours. It feels good to get my sex drive back and for life to get back to some sort of normal. I was very worried that I hadn't had any sexual feelings at all in almost two weeks. The week of my Dad going into the hospital I was on orgasm denial and we had planned to play on St. Patrick's Day after going out for dinner. We got the call and at that point everything got thrown up in the air. I hadn't had a orgasm in almost three weeks. No sex. No spankings. No play. And I hadn't felt sexy or had any types of sexual feelings with all the stress going on. Last night Master Anakin and I got to spend some time together and relieve some of our stress. It was exactly what Master and I needed. Yesterday I was at the hospital during the day. I saw my Dad with my sister there. I had a really good talk with my sister and we bonded. I worry about her. She's very close to my Dad and I know she has been so worried about him. My Dad was very responsive yesterday. He was in a mood and he was trying to control things from his bed. It's funny how the tension between my Dad and I seemed to be back. I didn't kiss him and he seemed more responsive towards my sister than me. He only looked at me a few times and when he did he wasn't showing much emotions. Today is a big day for my Dad. They are going to try for the second time now to take out the ventilator. If this doesn't work he will need a tracotomy. So I am keeping my fingers crossed for him. I hope everyone can say a quick prayer or have a positive thought that this goes well. It will be a big step in the right direction. He's got a lot of health problems to worry about but at least he will be breathing on his own if this goes well today. I have no idea what the future holds for my Dad. I just know he's one stubborn and strong man. "Mr. Soprano" isn't ready to go down without a fight. It actually felt good to see him back to his controlling and stubborn self yesterday. I told my sister to watch out. Once he's able to talk he will start ordering the nurses and Doctors around. I decided after I left the hospital to take the rest of the night off and to try not to think about the situation with my Dad. It's consumed my life the last week and a half and I really needed a mental break from it all. Master rented the Bad News Bears for a family night. Billy Bob Thorton was good in that movie. I made a good dinner and we sat down for a escape. Master made us some tropical drinks with the rum we have. He held me in his arms. The movie was pretty good for a family film. We really needed some family time and our kid's seemed to like the movie too. He put the kid's to bed and came down to me watching a little tv. He had a look on his face that I know very well. Total Darth look. That eagle eyed expression of dominance. I just know not to fuck with him in that mood. He was horny and needing me. I had been thinking about asking for a spanking most of the night but he just seemed to know what I needed. "Down to the basement, slave" he said to me in his Darth tone. So we went down to the cold basement. I was in my Bad Kitty nightgown and no panties. It was cold and my nipples got erect immediately. The rum had gone to my head and I was feeling warm and fuzzy. I was wondering what he had in mind. I had given him a lot of lip due to my stress level and he had let many things go. This spanking was something I know we both wanted. He was wanting to give me attention on my white ass and I wanted to feel some escape from the situation. "Over the desk, slave. Bare your ass now!" he ordered. I could tell by his voice that he was back in control and wanting to be obeyed. I lifted up my nightgown and exposed my ass to whatever he wanted to do to it. I heard him unbuckle his belt and take it out of it's loops. I tried to grip onto the desk and prepare for a hard strapping with his belt that I know so very well. The belt has gotten a lot of use in the last few years and I have to say it's one of my favorites for a good sound spanking. I was craving this spanking. Wanting him to hit my ass hard. Wanting it to hurt. Wanting the pain. The pain slut in me seeking some escape on the endorphin highway. He didn't ask me to count. He just laid into my poor bottom. He got rid of the tension and I took all he gave to me. My ass seemed to ignite under his belt and I was getting wet while I was getting strapped. He stopped and felt my warm ass. "Are you my slave?" he asked me. He wanted to make sure I knew my place. Many rules have been bent in the last while with everything going on. He let me get away with acting bitchy and he didn't push me but last night Darth came out and he was in a mood. I could tell by his voice. I could see it in his eyes. He had enough and he needed to get me back into line. "Do you want more" he asked me. "Yes, please, Master, harder" I begged. So he gave me more harder than the other ones. His belt hitting me in my sit spot. It hitting my ass again and again and again. Me floating into a pleasant and very welcomed endophin rush. He stopped after belting my ass and I heard him take off his pants and knew he was going to fuck me. He came up and spread my legs. He felt between my legs and I knew he could feel my wetness. He pinched my clit. "Beg me to fuck you, slave" he demanded. "Ohhhhhhhh please, Daddy. Please fuck me hard" I moaned. He took me right over the desk. Stuck his hard cock into my very willing and wet pussy and pounded hard into me. I got all my sexual feelings back very fast. I begged to cum as I could feel myself wanting to cum hard. He stopped fucking me and used his fingers to make me cum. I came so hard when he allowed it. He got me to get up on the desk and he fucked me on top of it. It didn't take him long to cum. He came right in my pussy and we held each other for a few moments. It was a delicious feeling I had missed so much. We went upstairs and I cleaned up and came back to him. We watched some tv together. He told me to go get my vibrator. I did and he gave me another orgasm. I was exhausted and he put me to bed. I really needed that escape for a while. For a few hours last night I didn't think of the situation with my Dad and got my sex drive back and got a spanking that I was craving so badly. My ass was nicely sore as I got put to bed. I felt that connection to Master and felt back into line. Today I feel very submissive and so glad we spent some time together. This morning I woke up to a sexy e-card from my special friend, schiava. She has been amazing and so supportive through what has happened with my Dad. I got wet this morning during my chat with her. It felt good to get connected with her too. I have missed sharing sexy photos with her and having some sexy chats. I thought I would put up a photo from that movie, Where the Truth Lies. That scene with the girl dressed up as Alice in Wonderland and the girl was so HOT! I miss the touch of a woman. I miss the kiss of a woman. I wish I was in Italy right now with schiava and I can show her how badly I would love to be with her. Thank you for all the comments and support. I know this blog hasn't been the happiest place lately. I am pretty sure we've lost a few readers. I appreciate everyone's support through this difficult experience. I am hoping that life might get back to some sort of normal soon. If my Dad can get off the ventilator today than he can start some kind of recovery. He's got a lot of obstacles but at least he will be breathing on his own. This has been the longest week and a half of my life. My force is slowly getting back to normal. My Dad will hopefully start a recovery process once this infection is cleared and he is breathing. My sister can go back home and I can have some of my life back. I realized last night I have been pushing myself too hard. I feel a bit stronger today. I'm being realistic over my Dad's situation. I am trying to balance my life. I honestly realize through this who my true friends are. Who is there for me during a crisis. I am honestly surprised over how cold some people were about this. There were a few people who I thought would be there for me but they couldn't be. I believed in what Jesse had told me about always being there for me and in the end never lent any support at all and turned her back on me during my time of need. I still am amazed she could ignore my e-mail and pretend that we never shared anything together for those few months. That she could ignore my pain and carry on about her life like I never existed. What did I ever do to deserve that? I've wondered that a lot. Her and Lestat were our friends. How do you just not care?? People may say they will always be there for you but I've learned the hard way that isn't always the case. I always try to support others when they are going through a difficult time. I would never turn my back on anyone during a time of crisis. I learned a lot through this experience. I think I've grown a lot and I am quite bitter over a few people who were cold to me during this. Trust me...sometimes it takes a crisis for you to truly see who is around you and there for you. S and I had a good talk this morning. I am so grateful for my friendship with her. She's been incredible. Master R has also phoned and given me his support. He hasn't pushed me at all to get together and has been understanding of how I am feeling. I never felt alone through this experience and I will never forget the support I have received from some people from the blog world. Some people didn't even know me but yet e-mailed me or commented. Thank you to all those who were there for me. You will never know how much it has meant to me... I am so glad and grateful for the people in my life who were there for me during this. I won't forget. What comes around, goes around. I truly believe in that. I know many people think this kind of thing would never happen to them. But at some point of everyone's life something happens to one or both of your parent's. Some people know what I am going through. I received some e-mails from people who understand what this has been like for me. This was a very life changing experience. I feel like a different person because of this. I don't take life for granted anymore. I don't take my parent's for granted. My Dad and I might have a strained relationship but in the end I was there for him and have been by his side. I hope one day my Dad might realize just how much he is loved and how unneccesary it was for him to want to do this to himself. How is everyone? I have many blogs to read. So many e-mails to respond to. So much housework to get done. Our blog needs a bit of updating too. It's all easier to do with a nicely sore behind and some attention from Master. He left me a note with some rules to follow today. I think he knows that I need structure and rules with all that is going on. We are strong and we will get through this like any other crisis which has happened to us. Our love is everlasting....our force strong...