Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Coffee and a spanking with Master R tonight!

I have been having a hard time the last few days with losing my good friend, Master Mark E. DeSade. I noticed today on his website there was a public notice put up and a song. The words to Time by Alan Parson's Project. My thoughts are with marie right now. I have thought about her a lot lately. I know he cared about her a lot. We talked about her in our last chat. It said his site will be shut down at the end of July. I will leave his link up until the site is closed and then delete the link. I wish there was a way to do some kind of public memorial for him. I have barely thought of anything but his passing the last few days.

I got an e-mail recently from Master R and I phoned him. I am putting up a photo today from one of my nights with Master R. For those who don't know who Master R is, he is a man who has been a mentor, friend and Master to me. He's married but his wife is vanilla. He's had many slaves he plays with. There have always been rules to follow. He is someone I have played with many times. We shared a night a few months ago to say goodbye. Master Anakin allowed us to be able to share one more night together. He went away on vacation with his wife for two months. He is now retired from his job. He was pretty much retiring from being a Master too. At least that's what he was hoping to do. I think he realized that is hard to do. To forget about his feelings about wanting to be a Dom. It's in his nature. I have missed him so much. I was glad to hear from him.

He teased me and flirting with me on the phone. We talked about some old times. I mentioned Master Mark and how I never got to get that spanking from him. Master R then told me he was always available for a spanking. I inquired half expecting he was joking. But he wasn't. He put out a offer that I can turn to him for a cup of coffee or a spanking. He misses spanking me. He found it very stress relieving and it helped fullfill a need in him. So Master and I had a big talk last night. Master realized that I miss being spanked by him. I miss the feel of a true discipline type of spanking. I miss the heavy level of play. Our M/s has been slow due to the vacation and then the loss of my friend. I need to feel back on track and we both know that Master R can get me focused and back on track. He's always had a ability to bring me out of a dark space.

I am sure many people might not understand my relationship with Master R. I've been judged by a few people through the years. I recently told my sister about our night together a few months ago. She knows we were poly but she figured we went back to monogomy after we married and nikki was gone. She was shocked. She tried not to judge me but I could tell she didn't understand it. I've had many people ask me many questions about Master R. I will just say that I am only allowed to share on this blog or with others what he lets me share. He's a extremely private man. He's a experienced player. I trust him 100%.

I was chatting to my sis on yahoo and telling her about Master R. I wish she lived closer so she can help me get ready for tonight. Master R and I are meeting tonight at 6 pm for coffee and then some play. His wife is out of town. He is looking for some fun and escape. So am I. Master Anakin has given us rules to follow. Master R is a very good person to play with. He's always respected Master Anakin's rules and he is very careful of my emotions. We don't kiss. We don't use the L (love) word ever. I don't know Master R's last name or information about him. I am not allowed to ask about his other slaves. I am to obey always. I do have a safeword with him.
Tonight there will be no penetration. We slept together the last time we met but this time we do not plan to do that. I am feeling too vulnerable and Master Anakin is not allowing it. We do plan to play. The no penetration rule does allow for oral sex though and I am sure I will be sucking his cock after he spanks me hard. I used to wonder what Master R gets out of our meetings. He doesn't get paid. Up until recently he didn't get penetration. He told me that he gets the thrill of control out of it. Master Anakin gives me to him for a night and he gets to control me and use me and to spank my ass. I am the youngest of his slave's. He's almost 60 now. Almost old enough to be my Dad. I do not know his wife. I don't want to. I do ask about her but he's very limited in what he tells me.

From the beginning it was clear what our relationship was...very good friend's who play together and he would mentor me for Master Anakin and help in my training. I know I am the slave I am today because of him. I know tonight will be intense. My meetings with Master R always are. He is no nosense. He spanks damn hard. My ass usually has bruises for a few days and it doesn't bruise easily now. He will use his toys on me and I will hurt tonight. I will probably be on my knees sucking his very hard cock after he canes my ass. I will come back to Master Anakin and show him the bruises on my ass and with a very well corrected attitude. And I will get used and fucked by him. I know Master loves to fuck my pussy after he sees the marks on my ass from Master R.

I wrote a few very good blog posts about Master R. In case anyone wants to read them:

Our Saturday Night with Master R - I am sharing the same photo today that I shared in that blog post. It was me dressed up for Master R the night he was over visiting us. It's a hot blog post!

A Night to Remember with Master R - This was written by Master Anakin. He writes about our night with him.

One Final Night with Master R - My night together with him. Obviously it was not our final night together and I am very happy he is still a part of my life.

Goodbye my Mentor and Friend - a blog post I wrote to say goodbye to him

Master R - a blog post about my relationship with him.

and Master R pays me a visit - this is about a visit he paid me many months ago. Enjoy!

I chatted with good girl and also my sis about tonight. I am so nervous and excited. I didn't think I would ever get a spanking again from him. I am not sure if he will ever be my Master again but I do realize we will always share a special friendship and I am glad we can still play together. I really need this in my life to get my focused. To have some escape and to bring out my submissive feelings again and get Master Anakin and I back on track to where we need to be. I love this picture I put up today with the girl in the mirror. She looks so sexy. I really wish there was a woman to join us tonight for the play. I wish my sis was here to share in the countdown before I see Master R. I am almost shaking I am so nervous...

I have a hair dye I plan to use to make it nice and light blonde and I have been given a set of instructions about tonight. I am to have a shaved pussy and nice and clean. Master R has picked out the red thong butterfly to wear for tonight for him and picked out my clothes. I have been given chores by Master Anakin to get done in order to go out tonight with Master R. My ass is already anticipating tonight. I know it's going to need some ice the next few days. Messa going to get spanked!!

Tommorow is HNT and I plan to put up the spanking photos and share some details from last weekend. So stay tuned for that. So does anyone want the details of tonight??

2 more days til Miami Vice and our special date night. I can't wait!! 3 more days til the Star Wars spanking party here at Journey to the Darkside. Hope you all can make it!

I was told to have this blog post done by Master's lunch hour and I just got it done in time. *whew* Now I need to get my chores done and start getting ready for tonight.

May the force be with you all!!

~nervous padme

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Anakin said...

Although some people may be unable or unwilling to understand Master R's relationship with you (and for that matter, with me), other more open souls have expressed understanding and even admiration. It works, and works well, for us. If it didn't work, if it caused emotional problems or any others, it simply WOULD NOT happen; but it does you good, and I'm always learning when I talk to Master R. He is respectful; that is important to me; if you don't have that, you don't play with us.

I look forward to seeing you after you see Master R. I'll of course be talking to Him before you are sent out with Him. This is for your benefit, and ours. It's good I think to put you back on track.

~ Master Anakin

padawanbeldapinik said...

Hello there Anakin and padme, i am so happy to hear you and Master R are friends again! Whoo-hoo! Congradulations padme! Have a wonderful time with Master R padme. May the Force be with Y/you always!

adam said...

Have a great night, tonight, Padme!

I'm happy you're going to have a night with Master R. Keep moving forward..

The Journey continues.

Love, your bro,


good girl said...

I'm so excited for you! I hope you have a great time tonight. And yes! I want to hear what happens!


padme said...

You have come a long way with Master R and I am so glad the two of you are now friend's. I am so nervous about tonight but it's really what I need right now. A escape and release from all the built up stress I've been feeling. Thank you for loving me and taking care of me in the last few days and for letting me go have a little fun and escape tonight. I will come home to a sore ass and I know you'll love it and use and fuck me afterwards...It always turns you on as much as me....xoxoxoxo

Thanks belda, good girl and adam...
I am sooooooo nervous about tonight. I have lots to do but wanted to thank you for your comments, support and friendship. BIG HUGS

good was really nice being able to chat with you this morning about tonight. You really helped me to deal with some butterflies in my tummy. BIG HUGS

Mary said...

You were so sad to say good bye to Master R last time. The big sister side of me is concerned for you to go back after coming so far after good bye. I don't want you to have to take the good bye journey again. Yet I know you are hurting after Master Mark. I am glad you have Master Anakin - such a good man that knows you well. You are vulnerable, so I worry - as a friend, like a sister; but I trust Master Anakin's judgement and devoted care of you. So I guess this is my long winded way of saying I am happy you are looking forward to tonignt, and I hope everyting about tonight goes well for you and that your reunion with Master Anakin after will be wonderful and healing. You are very special Padme.

padme said...

You are very special too and I enjoy our e-mails very much. I appreciate your worry like a sister looking out for me. I am glad to be honest there will be no sex (penetration) tonight as that would probably screw me up emotionally. I wanted some escape and am longing for a spanking and this is a way of Master Anakin letting me have one.

I am nervous but excited and smiling for the first time in a week. For a few hours I can forget about my problems and grief and escape into a bit of fun and stress relief.

I appreciate your friendship so much, mary. Your the best!!
BIG HUGS to you

Mary said...

Enjoy your escape! Hugs to you too!

SmartNnaughty said...


Another night with Master R. I hope it is everything you want it to be.

I am sorry to hear you are grieving over Master Mark. It is a very sad thing.

I know your feeling run deep and you hurt. I wish I could make things better for you, Padme, but I can't.

I will be back tomorrow so I can see your pictures.


Yours said...

i wanna know what happened!!! and looking forward to the pics!!
take care. hugs

Pandora said...

Cute little HNT pic!

L said...

I know I've been gone for a while, but I have kept up with the reading, and I for one cannot WAIT to hear about your night with Master R!!!

schiava said...

OMG sis...i can't wait to meet you online today and have ALL the details!!!!!!! i thought a lot about you last night, dreaming of an afternoon together getting you ready for the great night with Master R. i'm so happy for you!!!!
Talk to you later sweetie

WistfulWench said...

Padme, I am so sorry to hear of your loss! I'm glad that Master R is there for you right now and that your Master has agreed to this spanking.

I hope last night gave you the relief and focus you needed!

K said...

hey hun glad to talk to you.. and I hope your evening goes great! Look forward to hearing about it from u.


padme said...

Thanks k, l, wistful wench, pandora, yours, snn and mary for all your comments. I appreciated them so much. BIG HUGS to all of you...

schiava sis,
Thanks for being there for me and know that I adore you. HUGS and kisses and much love...xoxoxo