Sometimes you just need a spanking

Sometimes you just need a spanking. I know I did last night. I got spanked very hard last night and needed it. Today I feel like I need it again. I want to be over Master's knee. I want his hand spanking me again and again. I want to feel the sting. I want a red ass. I desire the connection and release that a spanking will bring to me. A spanking is sometimes better than an orgasm. Sometimes better than therapy. Better than drinking a glass of wine. Better than sex. A spanking is sometimes the one thing that can focus me and get me back into line and out of a dark place. It relieves my pms symptoms. It gets rid of my depression. The spankings will make me feel happier and very connected to Master Anakin. I thought I would put up a picture from our early days here at Journey at the Darkside. You can see a glimpse of my tattoo on my ankle. I love those shoes. They are hard to walk in but they look so sexy and make me feel so feminine. I hope you all enjoy the picture. HNT isn't til tommorow but I thought I'd do a preview. :) I was told by a few guys and gals too that I have a great pair of legs. What do you all think?? If anyone is trying to phone me today...our phone line was cut and there is no dial tone. The phone company is working on it. I'm going nuts not having a phone today. Yesterday was a very rough day for me. My Dad has pulled a few stunts and left me feeling hurt and upset. My mom and I got into such a serious fight that a trip was cancelled to go see her at the end of the month. I spent most of the day in tears and feeling hyper sensitive. I was in a hell of a mood. Ask anyone who I talked to yesterday how snappy I was. I have pms and the family issues make it worse. I am dealing with a lot of different things in my life. Some of it I can't discuss on this blog. I have created a private blog for myself at yahoo 360 where I am able to share more private feelings on. I have wanted another blog for a while now. I feel bad sometimes discussing my family issues on here. For those that don't know, I come from a very dysfunctional family. I was abused physically and emotionally growing up. I left home at 19 and lived in a tent for a while. My Dad is called "Mr. Soprano" by his friends and family. He is known for his very controlling personality. I grew up in an extremely strict household. Master comes from a pretty normal family. His family all seem to get along and be very bonded. His parent's have almost been together 50 years. My parents went through the nastiest divorce ever. My Dad went to jail. I had to testify. It was not pretty. I began cutting at 15 years old. I cut myself to ease the emotional pain I was in. I began cross country running and would run miles a day. I would run til I got the runner's high. It also was a way to cope. At the same time I also had an eating disorder and to this day have issues with food. I either don't eat or eat too much. If I eat too much I feel like throwing up. I have had councelling since I was in high school for this. The councelling has never been enough. BDSM has always been therapy for me. I go too long without pain and I really start to get into a dark place. I need to feel physical pain when I am in great emotional pain. Last night I wanted physical pain so badly I could taste it. I was hurting so much inside. My Dad seems to get into my soul like no one else. He doesn't even need to be talking to me and he cuts my soul out. He finds ways to reach inside of me and try to destroy me. It really hurt yesterday. I wanted to cut myself all day and was resisting the temptation. Last night Master came home and we talked about it and I told him I needed pain. So after the kid's went to bed he gave me a very hard spanking. I craved it. I wanted it so bad. I wanted to cry for him. To go til I cried. So he locked our bedroom door and told me to get naked. "Get your ass over that pillow" he ordered. He got out the riding crop. He put on some music to mask the noise and he went to town on my backside. I don't know how many I got. I didn't resist even though some were hard to take. He gave me some of his best with it. He wanted to fuck and I wasn't in the mood though. I wanted the spanking but not the sex. He was going to take me though. He likes it sometimes when I struggle and resist. There was scratching, biting, hair pulling and face slapping. It got rough but passionate. He fucked me like a wild animal. It was really incredible sex. I came twice. I fell asleep with his arms around me holding me very close and comforting me. I know last night was what I needed. I feel so much better today. I even got to chat with my sis, schiava who's on her vacation. She sent me some beautiful pictures of herself. Oh the things I would love to do with her. ;) Did everyone do Master's new spanking survey??? If you haven't please let us know on our survey what your least favorite spanking toy is. I loved hearing everyone's comments on it. Master is right. I hate that bull whip. All he has to do is threaten me and I'm in a very submissive mood. That whip left a big impression on my backside. A week to heal from the bruises and marks. It's a serious toy and not one to be taken lightly. I want to say thank you to Sexoteric Blog for putting one of the parts of our threesome post up on their blog. They have brought in a lot of traffic to our blog. We got close to 4,000 hits on our blog yesterday and today is looking great too. Thanks Sexoteric! Check it out at their blog! :) Master's birthday is this weekend! I still don't have a present for him. Almost time to go shopping. Phantom of the opera and our overnight is next Saturday. Master is telling me that after this weekend I'll be on orgasm denial all of next week. He wants me to give him a blow job for his birthday and then I'm on orgasm denial until next Saturday. The beautiful texan, Mel tagged me for a meme. I thought I had done this one before but I'm not sure. I am going to do it for Mel anyways... A) Four jobs I have had in my life: -retail -secretary -library assistant -nanny B) Four movies I could watch over and over: -any of the Star Wars movies (Especially revenge of the sith) -any of the Godfather movies -Wild Things -Million Dollar Baby C) Four places I have lived: -I've only ever lived around the Vancouver area D) Four TV shows I love to watch: -Young and the Restless -Miami Vice re-runs -Kink -Survivor E) Four places I've been on vacation: -Las Vegas -Europe (England, Paris, Germany) -Los Angeles -Oregon Coast/San Fran F) Four of my favorite websites: -Daily OM horoscope -Young and the Restless -Taken in hand -kinkycards.com G) Four of my favorite foods: -Homemade Russian perogies -M and M's -Swiss Chalet Chicken -Salmon H) Four friends I will tag: -belda -good girl -ceeci -searabbit and my friend, mary too! and anyone else who wants to do the meme!! Let me know if you do! I would love to read your answers. I) Right now I would rather be: getting spanked!!!!! Who wants to cum over and spank me??? Any volunteers?? May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: spanking, OTK, meme, cutting, Journey to the Darkside