Long Weekend Ahead

This is my favorite long weekend coming up. The Canada Day long weekend. So do any Canadians out there have any special plans for it? I will be spending it at my favorite place, White Rock beach. My mom is still planning to come out and we are planning a dinner and movie and also beach time. She misses White Rock a lot and we will head down there with the nice beautiful weather. Master and I have an overnight with no kids planned for tommorow. Today is my daughter's official birthday. 11 years ago I was recovering from a c-section. I was one day away from having her on Canada day. I won't be able to spend the day with her as she is with my ex and his family. We already celebrated her birthday last weekend. I thought I would put up a picture of me in my red lingerie being duct taped. I sure felt secure in the duct tape and it was hard to get it off my wrists. I really hope I can get locked away or in bondage this weekend. My ass is too white and needs some attention. 6 years ago I was in Las Vegas with my sister for this long weekend. It was awesome and a memory I will never forget. I plan to write about it sometime. I got a very big spanking for spending too much money on our visa that weekend. I am really happy that Master gets Monday off and we have a long weekend to relax and rest from our very long and draining week. I am doing ok except for being quite sick. I've come down with laryngitis really bad. This morning I can't talk at all. I've lost my voice. I was up crying that one night and cried so hard and woke up and it was screwed up. Now it's really bad and I have to go see the Doctor later this morning. Yuck. I got a surprise phone call yesterday and I felt bad I couldn't talk to her too well. Thanks Stiletto Girl for surprising me and making my day. I really enjoyed hearing from her. I hope we can talk again when I get my voice back. I wasn't on the computer very much yesterday except to talk to my sister on messenger about the situation with my brother. I was a bit stressed out yesterday and not feeling well either. Right now he's in the hospital and will be for the long weekend. He phoned me twice yesterday. I was shocked he remembered my daughter's birthday. He wanted to wish her a happy birthday and to reach out to me. The hope to move him into a rehab place after he's out of the hospital. My Dad is also in the hospital still and will be for a while I was told. I have no plans to see him. I might not be on the computer as much today either. I have to dye my hair blonde for Master and also go see the Doctor about my voice. My mom will be driving me nuts with her issues with my appearance. I'm sure I will be "too fat" still for her tastes. hmmmm...wonder why I had a eating disorder as a teenager. Try having a mother who thinks she is perfect and spends a hour doing her make up and hair to look perfect before going out the front door. A part of me is happy to see her as she's my mom and it's been almost a year since I saw her. A part of me dreads it because she can put me down. My sis, schiava had dental surgery today and I am thinking of her. Please give her your best wishes. My poor sis is having some pain today and I wish I could be there for her to help her feel better. Your on my mind sis!! Thank you to everyone who commented, e-mailed me and supported me through this last week. It was a very difficult time. I am hoping that things calm down in my life and July is a better month than June was. I am trying to catch up on blog reading and e-mails this morning. I felt so behind. I have been told that I have a spanking coming to me this weekend. I really miss our play. We havn't had any play or sex all week and the tension has built in both Master and I. We want to reconnect. I really feel like I need it right now and to feel centered again. I got a surprise also yesterday. Master R e-mailed me. He finally got a chance to check my blog on his trip and he was worried about me. He reached out to me as a friend. He reassured me the last time we saw each other that he would always be my friend. I was very glad to hear from him. He gets back in a few weeks from his trip and has told me we can always meet for coffee. A part of me wonders if maybe he has changed his mind about being my other Dom. How is everyone? What is everyone's plans this weekend? Does anyone have any tips on how to get my voice back with the laryngitis?? I hate not having my voice and hope it comes back. I got this meme from Tigger. I thought I'd give it a try. Thanks Tigger! :) My Personality: - I am a emotional person and feel things deeply - I worry too much - I love to make people around me happy - I can be quiet at times but also have major temper tantrums when upset My Sexual Preferences: - I am bisexual and love the touch and feel of a woman but enjoy a man's dominance and strength - I love a spanking before sex - I love to go down on a woman - I can cum on command My Fears and Inhibitions: - I’m afraid of spiders - I’m terrified of losing Master or my kid's - I’m afraid of guns - I’m afraid of heights My Strengths: - I am compassionate - I am very giving and have given a lot to different charities through the years - I love unconditionally - I am very strong when I need to be and will stand up for those closest to me My Weaknesses: - I have temper tantrums - I can be very childish - I jump to conclusions too fast - I will go into hiding for days if I am hurting and block out the world What I Like About My Appearance: - My tits (they are natural, size 36 C) - My blonde hair (I am dying it light blonde for the beach today) - My ass (I've worked hard to get a firm ass) - My green eyes My Background: - I was physically and emotionally abused growing up by my Father - I started cutting myself at 15 to ease the pain - I had a eating disorder as a teen and was extremely skinny - I was a virgin til I was 18 years old and lost it to my first husband in the back of a brand new car What I Love: - The beach (I love the ocean) - Getting spanked or having sex - Playing with my kid's and seeing them happy - Master Anakin (my soulmate and Master and Daddy and always my best friend) What I Loathe: - People who hurt animals - People who hurt children - war -guns What I Could Take or Leave: - vacuuming (we have 3 levels to vacuum) - laundry - comedy clubs - bike riding My Favorite Foods: -Homemade perogies - M and M's - Pizza from Pizza Hut - Chicken from Swiss Chalet May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: duct tape, bondage, spanking, eating disorder, meme

Meme

I got this meme from butterfly. It looked like a fun one to do. 1) Bold what is true about you. (in red) 2) Italicize what you wish was true about you. (in green) 3) Add one true thing about you to the end of the list. 4) Tag five friends (no tags, only if you want to do it) * I miss somebody right now. * I don't watch much TV these days. * I own lots of books * I wear glasses or contact lenses. * I love to play video games. * I've tried marijuana. * I've watched porn movies. * I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. * I believe honesty is usually always the best policy. * I curse sometimes. As opposed to constantly. * I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. * I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. * I have broken someone's bones. * I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal. * I hate the rain. * I'm paranoid at times. * I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. * I need/want money right now. * I love sushi. * I talk really, really fast. * I have fresh breath in the morning. * I have long hair. * I have lost money in Las Vegas. * I have at least one sibling. * I was born in a country outside of the U.S. * I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past. * I couldn't survive without Caller I.D. * I like the way that I look. * I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months * I am usually pessimistic. * I have a lot of mood swings. * I think prostitution should be legalized. * I slept with a roommate. * I have a hidden talent. * I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have. * I have a lot of friends. * I have pecked someone of the same sex. * I enjoy talking on the phone. * I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. * I love to shop and/or window shop. * I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal. * I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother. * I have a cell phone. * I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. * I've rejected someone before. * I currently like/love someone. * I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. * I want to have children in the future. * I have changed a diaper before. * I've called the cops on a friend before. (on my brother) * I'm not allergic to anything. * I have a lot to learn. * I am shy around the opposite sex. * I'm online 24/7, even as an away message. * I have at least 5 away messages saved. * I have tried alcohol or drugs before. * I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past. (my sister's girlfriend) * I own the "South Park" movie. * I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal. * I enjoy some country music. * I would die for my best friends. * I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist. * I have used my sexuality to advance my career. * Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. * I have dated a close friend's ex. * I am happy at this moment. * I'm obsessed with guys. * Democrat. * Republican. * I am punk rockish. * I go for older guys/girls, not younger. * I study for tests most of the time. * I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met. * I can work on a car. * I love my job(s). * I am comfortable with who I am right now. * I have more than just my ears pierced. * I walk barefoot wherever I can. * I have jumped off a bridge. * I love sea turtles. * I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup. * I plan on achieving a major goal/dream. * I am proficient on a musical instrument. * I hate office jobs. * I went to college out of state. * I am adopted. * I am a pyro. * I have thrown up from crying too much. * I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved. * I fall for the worst people. * I adore bright colors. * I usually like covers better than originals. * I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays. * I can pick up things with my toes. * I can't whistle. * I have ridden/owned a horse. * I still have every journal I've ever written in. * I talk in my sleep. * I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century. * I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions. * I wear a toe ring. * I have a tattoo. * I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with. * I am a caffeine junkie. * I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all. * If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder. * I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better. * I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner. (sometimes) * I'm an artist. * I am ambidextrous. * I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed. * If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony. * I have terrible teeth. * I hate my toes. * I did this Meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me. * I have more friends on the internet than in real life. * I have lived in either three different states or countries or provinces * I am extremely flexible. * I love hugs more than kisses. * I want to own my own business. I'll never get rich working for somebody else. * I smoke. * I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else. * Nobody has ever said I'm normal. * Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then. * I am proficient in the use of many types firearms and combat weapons. * I like the way women look in stylized men's suits. * I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me. * I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds. * I have played strip poker with someone else before. * I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help. * I believe in ghosts and the paranormal. * I can't stand being alone. * I have at least one obsession at any given time. * I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again. * I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment. * I'm a judgmental asshole. * I'm a HUGE drama-queen. * I have traveled on more than one continent. * I sometimes wish my father would just disappear. * I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am. * I am a Libertarian. * I can speak more than one language. * I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be. * I would rather read than watch TV. * I like reading fact more than fiction. * I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do. * I have no piercings. * I have spent the night in a train station or other public place. * I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried. * I've been married and am now divorced. * There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it. * I like most animals better than most people. * I own a collection of retro game consoles. * The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver. * I have hit someone with a dead fish. * I have written/read erotic stories. * I am compulsively honest. * I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired. * I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers. * I have gone from wishing I was a boy to revelling in being a girl to feeling like a boy again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex. * I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders. * I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to. * I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on. * I dislike milk. * I obsessively wash my hands. * I always carry something significant around with me. * Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair. * I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others. * Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother. * I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document. * I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird. * I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time * Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed. * I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won. * I do not 'get' most comedy acts. * I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing. * I don't like to chew gum. * I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it. * I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car. * Had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years. * I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other. * I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly. * I love to sing. * I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up. * I have a custom-built computer. * I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it. * I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human. * I've gone skinny-dipping. * I've performed in three plays, all of them Shakespeare. * I enjoy burritos. * I'm Irish and lovin' it. * I have a thing for redheads. (women only) * I am a twin! * Most times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'. * Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else. * I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes. * I wish I could do High School all over again. * I have big interest swings every year. * I have loved Pokemon since the beginning and continue to do so. * There's no genre of music I dislike. * I've read every work written by my favorite author(s) * No matter how much I sleep, I'm always tired. * I'd rather eat out than cook. * I am obsessed with actors that are older than I am. * I can move my little toes independently. * I enjoy purchasing and wearing articles of clothing and/or accessories that have skulls on them. * I trip over my own feet at least once a week. * I hate not knowing how to love * I still fantasize once in a while about an ex. * I find incredible freedom in being restricted. * I love being housebound in a blizzard. * I am a libra Tags - Not tagging anyone but if anyone wants to do it, let me know. I love to hear people's answers to meme's. May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Happy HNT and an update

Tonight has been one of the roughest nights of my life. If you read my latest blog post it was about the Intervention that was happening tonight for my brother, H. He's been a crystal meth addict for 3 years and it all came to a head tonight. No more hiding or excuses for my brother. We decided it was time to take action. This wasn't a easy thing for any of us to do. I knew this couldn't go on anymore. My mom was ready to drop him off at my Dad's and with him in the hospital that meant H being on the loose back on the streets of Vancouver where the drug first started for him. We all knew but my mom that it was a terrible choice. We would surely lose him forever if that happened. She finally agreed after much convincing to do this Intervention. A professional councellor met with my family tonight to sit my brother down and give him the options, live or die. Rehab/hospital or streets and the drug. There is no other choice. This tough love was so hard to do. My sister told me tonight H was asking about me. It breaks my heart that it had to come down to this but we all had to do something. This has destroyed our family and we've all sat back and watch it destroy my brother. All I can say is...there are probably people who understand what I am going through. To those who don't...be careful that this could easily happen to you or your members of your family. Crystal meth is a huge problem and more and more people are becoming addicted to it. It's a powerful drug and it has taken the life right out of my brother. My brother had it all and lost it all. His ex girlfriend gave him the drug one night and it put him on a very dangerous and deadly path. 3 years of hell for my family. Fighting and arguing over who's fault this is or how to help him. My mom hasn't helped the situation. She takes him in to live with her and he gets clean for a month or two and then starts using again and gets voilent. She throws him out and then takes him back. A cycle that has been happening for months now. It's 10:30 pm and I finally got word a hour ago about what is going on with my brother. My sister phoned me. Things didn't go as planned so I never got put on the speaker phone. She phoned me from the hospital. I could hear my mother having a total breakdown in the background. She was sobbing hysterically. My sister sounded more stressed than I heard her in a while. I am crying as I type this. I am a basketcase. I have been unable to think of anything but what's happening with my brother. I tried to read a few blogs but had a hard time concentrating. I feel so many emotions tonight. I thought I would put up our HNT photo. I am not sure how much I will be on the computer tommorow with this going on. I hope my sis and others understand but I am really not in the mood to talk to anyone right now. I havn't felt like this since my Dad was in the ICU. Master did the HNT photo. I really do like it. He always does a great job with it. He's been incredibly supportive during a very difficult night. I love how he does the photos to look erotic and sexy. I miss fucking him...I miss feeling his hands spanking my ass...I miss all the play that has been postponed due to this situation with my brother. Master has been so dominant and yet loving and so supportive. He hasn't pushed me at all. I think he knows that I need him as my best friend right now most of all. What do you all think of the photo? I do feel bad that this blog isn't very sexy right now or positive. I seriously wanted to just give up on this blog but I havn't. This is a outlet for my feelings right now and to let others close to me know what's going on. To the people who commented and showed their support during this...I thank you so much. It really meant the world to me. Some people have disappeared on me during my time of need. I am feeling bitter right now. I tried to phone my best friend, S twice tonight. I left a message with her husband that it was urgent to phone me. The next time her daughter picked up telling me she was "too busy" to talk. Excuse me!! I have given her hours of my time. I have been there for so many crisis's. I have stood up for her to ICBC for our accident. I can't even begin to describe how much I have done for her. And she was too busy for me. Hmmmm...says a lot about the friendship. Sometimes you truly do find out your real friends during a time of crisis. Tonight has been very long and difficult. I needed her. I won't get over this. I can't get into blogging lately. It just seems unimportant to what is going on in my life right now. I am trying very hard to keep up with the blogs in which people have commented on my blog. I feel angry to to be honest. I checked my stats tonight out of curiousity. It's interesting to see who's been on my blog but couldn't seem to leave a comment. I had over 2,137 people so far on my blog today. Why does everyone lurk? I leave comments on so many blogs almost every day and invest a lot of time into some of them. When it doesn't come back, I find it very frustrating. I have told Master I want to delete some of our blog links. With it being summer vacation and family issues, I don't have time to keep up with our blogs that we link to. Some don't even link back to us. And some don't leave comments anyways. Yes, the comments and feedback mean a lot to me. I give many comments on many blogs every single day. I spend sometimes a hour or two reading different blogs and commenting. I try to show support to people going through difficult times. I like it to come back especially during a time that I am in need. This has affected my life in a very profound way. Master and I have really had some deep and serious talks about this and my family. I have pretty much lost my father. He's got brain damage from the poison and will never be the same. Master kept telling me he would never recover from it. I didn't listen. Turns out he is right. My Dad will not be the same again. I am delaying visiting him in the hospital a few days while I deal with the situation with my brother. I feel like I am close to losing a brother too. It's all so much to take. I feel so weak...so drained. I've hardly slept or ate. I am a emotional wreck. I've cried many times the last few days but especially tonight. I felt so sick to my stomach wondering if the phone would ring. When I wasn't hearing anything I really felt ill because I knew that was a bad sign. My brother showed up high on crystal meth tonight for the intervention. Things got voilent and nasty. My sister told me a few details of the night. It really doesn't sound good. My brother was talking in riddles and resisting the intervention. He did eventually get into the car to go but it wasn't easy by the sounds of it. They are currently accessing my brother and trying to get him into the hospital and then hopefully into a program or rehab. I hope this is the first step for him. This has been a very long journey the last 3 years and all come to a head tonight. This hasn't been a easy few days at all for me. I've lost it several times crying tonight. All I can think of is my brother and worrying about this situation. It has consumed me the last few days. I really hope that he is admitted and this goes ok. It almost sounded like my step father had to get physical with my brother to even get him into the hospital. If H isn't able to want to do this himself, will this really work?? I really hope so. I am so worried and wish I could be there tonight. That was the hardest part for me. That I couldn't be with my family to go through this with them. To hear my mother that way and know I couldn't help her and to hear my sister so stressed out. I am longing to be with my family. I am unsure if my mother will come out this weekend. Everything is up in the air right now. I may have to go up there to support my family right now. So I may be gone for a few days. good girl/Griz and adam and belda and my sis, schiava...you guy's have been incredible to me the last few days. adam phoned me twice today and I really do thank him for his friendship. I know I havn't been a easy person to be around the last few days. To those who have commented and e-mailed me..thank you!! I will not forget who has been there during one of the most difficult few days. I am not sure how much I will be blogging the next while or around the computer but I will try to not hide. I am not sure yet if I am going to go up to support my family or not. It's so hard to be apart right now. I wish I could be there to show support. The life feels drained from me...right now I want to curl up into a ball and make the pain go away by cutting myself. My pain is so deep...so inner...so much in my soul. I really hope the force is with my family...with my brother tonight. It's 11:40 pm and I am finally finishing this blog post. I was hoping my sister might phone me back but she didn't. I am very stressed...very upset...very emotional right now. My force so weak. Master Anakin, You really are my force....I wouldn't have been able to make it through this without you... I truly do adore you ... I love you now and always and forever... my force lives through you... Your padme xoxoxo May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: HNT, crystal meth, meth, intervention, addiction

Into the Mystic

I am stressed to the max. Today has been a very stressful today for Master and I. We have a date at 8 pm tonight to sit and watch tv cuddling. I really want to escape our problems for a little while before bed. Things just seem to be getting worse. My Dad is in the hospital now. My brother is coming to stay with him although he's in the hospital. My Mom will be bringing him to my Dad's on Friday and then washing her hands of the situation. My family just feels out of control right now. I honestly don't know what is going to happen. Master has his own family problems going on. I know he's got stress at work. We barely are able to chat during the day. I miss him so much. I feel like there is barely any time together. He's out right now as I write this blog post. This week is a busy one. I have my mom and step dad coming to visit and have dinner at the beach with. I really don't want to see my mom but feels obligated to as she doesn't get to see her grandkid's too often. My daughter had her last full day of school today. My schedule will change now. I don't have to be up so early anymore. Summer vacation is here and we are planning a few trips. I really need to get away. I can't wait. I want to thank adam for his two phone calls today. He wrote a really nice blog post to us today. Thanks adam! His phone calls really helped me a lot. I am so glad to be getting to know him better. I really enjoy our phone calls. I also had a good chat with good girl on yahoo today. I really appreciate the time she took from work to chat with me. I know I was very emotional today. I really do appreciate the support and comments. They mean so much to me right now. Some people took off on me recently. S didn't phone me today. We usually talk every day but she tends to avoid me when I am stressed. I feel ready to give up on my friendship with her. I need friend's who don't disappear on me. My sis, schiava sent some of the hottest photos to me this morning. WOW! She looks so hot in a sexy black dress and her playboy bikini and panties. I was drooling all over the computer. She's so beautiful. I would give anything to be with her right now. I fantasize about her a lot and I am so grateful for her being in my life. I hope her dental surgery goes ok this Friday. I will be thinking of her. I really enjoy our chats. She truly is like a submissive sister to me and I don't know do without her in my life. I love this picture I put up today in my blog. I put a lot of thought into the pictures I put up with my blog posts. For some reason this picture reminds me of Master and I. I find it very erotic. He has been my rock through it all. He's been there every step of the way the last 16 years of being best friends. He is my Master but always my best friend. He seems to truly understand me. I really acted bad yesterday on the phone but he didn't punish me. He came home and held me. He knew I was going through hell and he was there for me as my Daddy. He came home today from his parent's with flowers for me. Beautiful red roses, my favorite. He had dinner for me and a bottle of my favorite merlot and chocolates. We did a little dance upstairs to the music before I went in for a hot bath. The song we danced to is one of my favorites. We danced to it at our wedding. It played on the movie, American Wedding and I wanted it to play at mine. It was the second song after Fields of Gold (our song) to play. It brings back some happy memories for me. He put on the cd, took me in his arms and we danced... We were born before the wind Also younger than the sun Ere the bonnie boat was won as we sailed into the mystic Hark, now hear the sailors cry Smell the sea and feel the sky Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic And when that fog horn blows I will be coming home And when that fog horn blows I want to hear it I don't have to fear it I want to rock your gypsy soul Just like way back in the days of old Then magnificently we will float into the mystic And when that fog horn blows you know I will be coming home And when that fog horn whistle blows I got to hear it I don't have to fear it I want to rock your gypsy soul Just like way back in the days of old And together we will float into the mystic Come on girl... Master Anakin, Things will get better for us. I know we are going through a lot right now. I hope you know that you are the love of my life. Thank you for our dance today. It brought back a special time for both of us, our wedding day. You made me smile for the first time all day. I really love you so much. Together we will sail into the mystic...our force strong. I adore you. Your padme xoxoxox May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Crashing down

Today has been a really bad day and I don't want to write a blog post but Master wanted me to write one for him while he's at karate tonight. I am alone and stressed to the max. So tonight I write this all out for him. I have many things on my mind right now. I feel like my world has come crashing down and I am trying to deal with it all in my own ways. I pushed Master away earlier. I am hurting and for some reason I tend to push him away when I am feeling this way. I don't think he understands. I worry I will become a burden to him and to others close to me. I feel like going into hiding mode. I don't want to write in this blog, I don't want to be near to anyone, and I want to hide from the world. I am very worried about my brother and I just hope I get some news about him soon. My brother had it all. He was a success story many years ago. I was very jealous of him. He had a 3 bedroom house and fancy sports car and a really good woman who loved him who had 3 kid's. I really thought he had it all. He was taking trips and living a very good life. Then he made a really stupid decision. He took a hit of crystal meth and his whole life changed. He lost the girl. Then he lost his house. Then he lost his belongings. Then he lost his friend's. Then he lost his money. And now...he's homeless with nothing more than a shirt on his back. He is living on the street and he's wanting to end it all. I can't tell you what this has done to our family. It's destroyed a already dysfunctional family. I honestly don't know what will happen with this situation. I don't think it's going to end well and am preparing myself. I've had a real emotional time of things today. I spent most of the day on messenger with my sister discussing our family and what has happened. I had a huge fight with my mother. I had the most relaxing weekend and then all this stuff happens today. It all feels like too much right now. I wanted to try to keep my family issues off this blog but today it's very hard. It's consumed me. It's all I can think about. The birthday went really well. The movie was awesome. Click is a great movie and I recommend it a lot. I cried my eyes out though. It says a lot about life. We came home to a really nice bbq. The weather was so hot so I'm glad we had air conditioning. I feel asleep relaxed and content in Master's arms. I should have never put on messenger. All hell broke loose at that point. The family drama comes pouring out and my mood is instantly ruined. Why does this seem to happen in my life? It's like the moment I find peace and relax my family crap comes flying out? I wonder sometimes what Master and his family or my friend's must think of my dysfunctional crazy family. At times I question my own sanity. I thought about nikki a lot today. I miss her during these times of trouble in my family. She supported me through many family tough times. She stood by me through my parent's divorce. nikki had a very rough childhood and our similar pasts bonded us together. I always felt like she truly understood me and my family and feelings. We were two people on very similar wave lengths. There are days like today when I feel so alone and want to phone her. I know she would understand and calm me down. She always did. I just don't think I can pick up the phone. She's a part of my past and I have to learn to accept that even after all these years. I just wonder sometimes if she ever thinks of me. Was it easy for her to just go monogomous after being poly for years? Does she ever think of us? Think of those intimate times together? Is her family still as crazy as mine is? I talked to my sis, schiava this morning. She's been a really amazing part of my life. I just wish so much that we lived closer. The feelings are so strong to want to be with her. I don't really feel the poly thing is going that well with anyone other than my sis. Our ads don't seem to be working too well. I had a few others answer this weekend but most of them appear to just be looking for fuck friend's. If it wasn't for schiava I might just give up on the poly thing. Master R is gone. I am still coming to terms with that in my own ways. There is no other Doms in my life. I just find it so hard to find people to get close to and have a really intimate relationship with. I don't see another Master R in my life in the future. It's been 4 years coming up since I touched a woman. Those feelings really overwhelm me sometimes. I would do just about anything to have schiava come over to my place so I could show her how badly I want to be with a woman. In some ways it feels like I havn't had sex in 4 years. That part of my sexuality hasn't been fullfilled. I am bi. I love to be intimate with a woman. I really need to find a way to get to Italy very soon! I want to thank my friend, adam for being there for me today. He's really a true blue friend. I know many people tend to take off when the stress happens. I bring up my family to S today and she suddenly had to go really fast. I really am grateful for my friendship with adam. He is like a brother to me. The brother that I feel I am losing with my own brother, H. He really helped me a lot. I have thought a lot about going to New York to spend some time there. I really want to meet my friend and get away from things for a while. I need a vacation and Master always sends me somewhere every year. I really feel like I need my friend's right now. I would love to see New york. I hope we can try to arrange it this summer. I'm so glad adam got messenger. It's really been wonderful to keep in touch every day. I feel like the last few months I have lost a brother with my brother, H going downhill but I've also gained one. adam has been a really wonderful part of my life. I really worry about what this stress will do to Master and I. It's very hard on our relationship to constantly being going on my family's merry go round of stress and problems. I really did have a nice weekend and felt so close to him. My ass had many bruises and marks from our play Friday and Saturday. I wish he could lock me away right now...from the world, from this family drama, from everything. I miss that peaceful feeling of being locked away. I've been craving it all day. I just really need my Master right now. I really need to feel secure and need his guidance right now. I'm tired of the drama. I want to have a normal life with Master and our children. I feel guilty for being so ashamed and embarrased at where my brother is like in his life. I am the older sibling and I feel responsible for my brother even though many tell me I shouldn't. Maybe I should have protected my brother against my Dad. Or done more to help him in the past. I just feel like maybe I didn't do enough. My brother has hit rock bottom and he will have to make a tough decision, to live and get his life together or to die on the streets. I just really hope he is ok tonight. In the end, he is still my brother. I know my mom thinks my Dad will get involved and help but I just don't see it happening. My Dad is a selfish man with his own mental problems. I am not sure how much I will be blogging this week with all this stuff going on. If Master wants me to write for him, I will. I know that I really didn't want to do a blog post today but he insisted. My force is very weak. I am really trying to be strong. I am really trying to keep it together right now. This month has really had some challenges for Master and I. This hasn't been a easy time for us. Hopefully July will be better... May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Happy Birthday Princess Leia!

I didn't plan to do a blog post today but since today is a special day in our family we want to celebrate it with our readers. Today we are celebrating our daughter, Princess Leia turning 11 years old. Her real birthday is in a few days but we are going to celebrate it today. I had a wonderful night with Master. We watched the Ultimate fight night and had lots of play time. I feel very submissive to him and connected. I will write out the details in another blog post. Today I have my daughter's birthday on my mind. I've been busy all weekend preparing for it. She's very excited about it. She got a new bike and a bunch of gifts for her birthday. It brings back memories of my first real bike. I can't help but feel old today. Is it really possible that she is almost a teen?? Full of hormones and having crushes already. She's growing up on me too fast. I remember that little baby they placed in my arms. I wanted a baby very bad. I always knew I was going to be a mother. We tried for a year and a half and had the first miscarriage. I was devestated and wondered if I might be able to have a child. Months later I blew out my birthday candles in October and wished to get pregnant again. The wish came true. She was my birthday present. I conceived her with my ex husband that night after several drinks at a club. I knew that night that something special had happened. I could feel it. I was so scared I might lose her like I did my first one. I found out she was a girl at my ultrasound. I remember it being a feeling like being on top of the world. I was floating out of that ultrasound place. It was a beautiful sunny day and my life seemed so happy and wonderful. At 38 weeks my water broke just after leaving the Doctor's office. Right in the middle of the office floor. I went into the hospital and it was the hottest time of year. I walked every inch of that hospital to try to get the labor to progress. My ex was too busy with work to be there for me. I had my best friend at the time and mom by my side. I slept during the contractions which the nurse thought was strange. 48 hours of labor and no success so I was rushed in for a c-section. My ex was not there so my mom had to come in with me. She held my hand as my little girl was delivered. I remember that first cry. Seeing her as they cleaned her up. She had a hint of red hair and looked so beautiful. 7 pounds and 5 ounces. I had a very hard delivery with her. They had a hard time getting her out. She was stuck in the birth canal. I was given morphine which I am very allergic to and had a immediate reaction to. I didn't get to hold her for a day due to being so weak and sick. My mom had her in her arms and showed me my little girl and she was perfect. A true blessing. A moment I will never forget. One of my favorite memories is the first time I held her in my arms. It was the day after the birth. I was so scared and nervous. I fumbled while trying to get her on the boob to breastfed her and was talking to her. She looked up at me with those blue eyes and I swear she smiled at me. I know they say babies can't smile at that stage but she did. I admit I spoiled my baby girl a little too much. She had the best of everything. People said they never saw a baby have so many clothes. I loved dressing her in lace and frills. She seemed to grow up so fast. She's almost as tall as me now and beautiful long hair. I have had to learn to let go a bit. She's already asking to go out on dates. I know that time is slipping away from me. She's growing up to be a young adult. I want to hold onto these next few years as soon she won't even want to go to the movies with us one day. She already had a moody spell over us going to see Click with her and her friend's today. It's just not cool to her. lol. She announced recently at the dinner table that she is going to get her period soon. They did the puberty class at school a month ago. I honestly don't know how to deal with the hormones sometimes. She is happy one minute and angry or sad the next. My little girl is going to be a woman soon and I really don't know how to come to terms with that. We are going out to the movie and then coming back for a huge bbq and birthday party. My ex will be coming over too. It's always strange to have him in my house but we try to be civil and be there for her today. It's a beautiful sunny day just like the day she was born. I am crying as I write this blog post. I am a very proud mama. My kid's mean the world to me. My daughter loves her guitar and singing. Her favorite singer is Hilary Duff. She's a karate kid and her favorite subject in school is music. Her horoscope is cancer and she's very much like one. Very loving and family oriented. She's got her last day of grade 5 on Tuesday. A few more years and she's in high school. The punk boys will start to come around and I hope Master Anakin and my ex are going to be ok with that. I know my ex has had a hard time accepting she is growing up. She's a true ray of sunshine in my life. I feel so happy today to celebrate my daughter's birthday! Happy birthday Princess!! We all wish you the happiest day today! May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Feeling submissive to Master

I feel so submissive to Master this weekend. Last weekend we had no play time. This weekend has been filled with it. We are very busy with a birthday bbq coming up tommorow for our daughter who is turning 11 but we are still managing time to play. This will be my last blog post until Monday. I was ordered to sit on my very sore and red ass and post my feelings to him. So this blog post is for my sexy and handsome Master. I am listening to the music of Riverdance and feeling so wet and horny. I am sitting here naked with my black play collar on. I have been told I will be cleaning and decorating naked today and paddled hard if I don't work fast enough for him. I am in full slave mode today. We have sitting all day to prepare for this party. I'm glad we are squeezing in some time to play and make the day interesting and naughty. Last night was wonderful and fun. We did lots of play. I got punished with the riding crop 100 strokes for disobeying some minor infractions and a bit of attitude the last few days. He wanted me centered. Our son went to bed and I had my hot bath and came down to him and our toys waiting for me. I was cropped very hard and my ass burned. After the punishment was done he kissed my forehead. Then we went into play mode. He gave me some pain I was craving. I was fucked very hard from behind. I had my butt plug in me and felt like it was double penetration. The butt plug up my ass...his hard cock in my pussy. I came so hard in the middle of it. I exploded as he ordered me to cum for him. He thrust into me hard and came in my wet and needy pussy. We were both tired. I asked him to go to bed and got a surprise. He told me I was going to be locked away for the night in the bathroom. He put a strong lock on our bathroom door which is in our bedroom. We have 2 bathrooms in our house. He wants a place to be able to lock me in. This was a first for the both of us. I've never spent the night locked up like that before. I was given only 2 blankets, one for the floor and one for covering me. He handed my pillow and teddy bear with a sadistic smile. He could tell I was a bit nervous about this. It is a very confining space. He told me I was not allowed to wear any clothes. He kissed me and tucked me into the bathroom and told me I was not allowed to get out til the morning. He would decide when I would be getting up and then spending the day working for him as his slave. He turned off the lights and I heard him lock the door. I knew I couldn't get out. He installed a very secure lock. I feel asleep very fast. I'm not sure why but being locked up was a very secure type of feeling for me. I slept like a rock. My back is a bit sore from laying on the ground with the blanket but it's worth it. I felt very owned and taken care of. He told me today that he liked the feeling of falling asleep and knowing exactly where I was and that I was locked away. I had a toilet at least for going to the bathroom and also a full glass of water he gave me. I got a bit hot during the night but slept very solid. He unlocked me in the morning before heading to karate. I chatted with belda and good girl for a while. good girl gave me the idea to get naked. I really enjoyed reading their play agreement for their weekend on their blog. I felt in a very naughty mood. Master phoned from his cell phone telling me he was picking up lunch. I mentioned to him I was naked and wet in my black play collar and to cum home soon. He really liked that I was naked and waiting for him. He came home with a pizza for me and a big horny smile as he noticed me naked and on my knees waiting for him. My eyes lowered in respect. My legs slightly spread apart. Erect nipples and my juices coming down my leg. "Welcome home Master. I am here to serve you" I said softly. He ordered me up to my feet and put the pizza down on the kitchen table. We didn't get a chance to eat it. He pointed upstairs and didn't say a word. I hurried upstairs to our bedroom. He took off his black belt and gave me a few good wacks on my ass. I've been told I am getting a lot more spankings today and my ass is going to be good and sore for a few days. I'm a happy slave girl. He brought down his Master Anakin's paddle and laid it on the kitchen table and told me he's watching me today and any attitude will be getting some of that. He started to get on top of me after I got some of his belt. He kissed me and started to feel my pussy. I wanted to cum so bad but he wouldn't allow it. He took off his clothes and he put his hard cock into me and fucked me hard. He squeezed my neck slightly to let me know he was in control. He pinched my nipples and made them hurt. We fucked and he came inside of me. I was told to not clean up. He wants his cum in me while I work for him naked. I was not allowed to cum even though I begged. He told me if I am a good girl I will get to tonight after some pain. Tonight is the season finale fight of Ultimate Fighter 3. He's really looking forward to it. We are cheering for team Tito!! I think Team Punishment is awesome. I can't wait to see who gets the contracts. I came down to write this blog post and describe my weekend so far. I won't be on the computer now til Monday. We have lots of preparation for this party tommorow and many people coming to our place. We like to decorate it really nice for birthday's. The weather is beautiful today. It's going to be nice. My daughter really wants to see the movie, Click with Adam Sandler with her friend's. I heard good reviews about it. You can see a preview on that link I put up. I put up a picture from the movie, Killing me Softly today. I love the sex scene in the library. Who else has had the chance to fuck in a library? Master and I did once and it was amazing! It's one of the coolest places I have ever had sex. So what is yours? How is everyone's weekend going? Anyone else catching the Ultimate Fighter 3 season finalle tonight? May the force be with you all! ~padme Technorati Tags: ultimate fighter 3, punishment, sex, spanking, Click

Needing a spanking

I wanted to get a quick blog post up before starting on my list of chores from Master. I have been a bit of a lazy slave today. He wasn't happy this blog post is taking so long to get up today. I have been told I have a spanking coming today for not having it done by his lunch hour and not getting dinner on the table yesterday. I had a bit of attitude yesterday night also and was sent to bed early for it. It's Friday and our play night. I can't wait to spend some time alone with him tonight. We havn't spent much time together since Tuesday when he took the day off. My ass is itching for a hard spanking. Anyone want to cum over and spank me??? Does everyone like the picture I am putting up from many months ago? I am wearing my strawberry panties from La Senza. I really think those are so cute. I am over the pillow awaiting a spanking from Master. I had a few marks on my ass still from a punishment from Master. :) I have a busy weekend ahead. I may not be around the computer much. We are preparing for our daughter's 11th birthday party which is this Sunday. She is inviting some friends to watch a movie and then back to our place for a BBQ and birthday party. I plan to decorate my whole livingroom and kitchen in streamers and balloons. We like to go all out for our kid's when it's their birthday. I wish my family could be here but no one lives close but my Dad and he honestly couldn't care less. I really need a spanking. I want to relief some stress and have some play. I am craving it so strong right now. I am a horny girl today. My sis, schiava and I had a very playful conversation this morning. I have been wanting all day to get naughty with someone. It was so good to reconnect and have some playful chat with her. I described a few details of things I want to do to her. I sent her a picture of me naked in a bath. Master came upstairs one night and surprised me in the bath. I was naked and exposed. My sis seemed to really respond to it. She got my postcard today! I was happy she finally got it. I love the reaction to that and the kinkycard also I sent her. It was a card with two women in a bath together. My sis has a hot weekend ahead with her Master. The thoughts of them together turn me on so bad. I wish I could be a fly on the wall while they are together. I hope she'll send me a few pictures. :) I had a really good talk on the phone to my close friend, adam yesterday. I sure hope I can meet him one day. Master really likes him also. He's a very good friend to us both and we really hope to come out to New York. There is something very personal about talking on the phone to someone. I feel very close to adam since we started our phone conversations. It is a great way to get to know someone. I feel so comfortable talking to him. adam is just like a brother to me. I am so grateful for our friendship. :) I appreciate all the comments for the video HNT that Master put up. If you havn't checked out the first spanking video we have put up, check out Master's HNT post. He did a great job with it. I read many comments twice. I really love to get feedback. It's very important to me. I try very hard to keep up with the blog on my list and I really love to hear back from people. I got a few really nice e-mails yesterday too. I enjoy the social aspect of this blog. I feel like I've really met some wonderful people through doing this blog. Master and I would love to hear some ideas for future videos you want to see. If you have a idea for a spanking toy or scene you want to see, please let us know. We love to live out spanking fantasies for others. I had Master R script a spanking fantasy for Master Anakin and I. We love to role play. We just need someone to write out a scene and we will act it out with video and pictures. Anyone have any ideas?? I love to hear people's reactions to the video. I am a huge exhibitionist and the thoughts of others getting wet or hard over the videos turns me on so badly. I tried hard to not move and take the razor strop of Master's. We do have a few more videos we hope to put up at some point of him spanking me with his belt and also the cane. I was asked by a few people how I was able to stay still for it. The answer is simple. Master Anakin is a no nonsense Master. If I move during punishment's, he gives me more. He gets stern and into Darth mode. He is a man who just seems to know how to make you not want to move and obey. nikki told me once that he sounded like a drill sergeant. She said "you just don't dare piss him off". I honestly would get in major crap for moving. Sometimes like during the cane I do move and he will say "get back into position, bitch" and I just know to take it. I want to please him and take a lot. I am also a true masochist. I really do enjoy pain and getting spanked. The razor strop is the easiest to take because I love the feel of it against my ass. He will get into a rythym as you noticed in the video. He will not let me try to get used to the pain. He will go faster and faster on my ass so there is no chance to move much. He's become a real expert in the art of swinging the cane or strop or belt. I got into subspace easily. I think because of my abuse as a child I am able to just zone out. I did it as a child when my Dad was in a bad mood and being abusive. I learned to just zone out from what was happening. I do that with Master Anakin although he tries to sometimes talk to me to get me out of it to feel what he is doing to my ass. I was trained by Master R and Master Anakin to take my punishments and accept them. My desire to please takes over me in that state. I want to take it and I get very wet usually from the pain. The harder the spanking, the wetter I get. It's a physical reaction that just seems to happen when my ass gets attention. I'm hoping that I will get lots of attention tonight on my ass. I really need a spanking right now. I am craving one. Master Anakin, Please cum home soon and let Darth out for a night. Spank me hard!! Use your razor strop to make my ass cherry red! Please make me beg for more. Make my ass hurt real bad. Use me. Fuck me. Make me hurt for you. I am yours....awaiting your pain and pleasure. Wanting to serve you and submit to your every dark desire. Take pictures of it all. Humilate me. Fuck me hard. Your slut, Your bitch, Your slave, Your girl, your wife.... Your padme xoxoxoxo I hope everyone has a naughty weekend. It's a beautiful and sunny day today and I am going to go enjoy my deck with my flowers around me and positive sunshine surrounding me. Have a lovely day everyone!! May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: spanking, punishment, panties, bisexual

HNT spanking video

Happy HNT! pictured above is padme's ass being spanked and corrected. I hope the picture shows how red it was. Click on the picture or here to see our latest video here on Journey to the Darkside. It also happens to be the first spanking video clip we've released! It shows me giving padme a corrective spanking with the razor strop. You can hear the music of the soundtrack from Hackers in the background. padme tries to stay still during the stropping but does a naughty giggle at the end. We've created something we hope you'll really enjoy. padme is feeling very corrected and centered after I've given her the correction and guidance and attention she needed so badly over the past two days. The video is in .wmv format (Windows vide0). Let us know what you think via comment or email. Let us know if it played okay on your computer, and what you liked about the video. We'd love some feedback so we know what you'd like to see next! We took more videos and will be releasing them over the next little while. I used quite a few impliments on padme, and some of the videos turned out great! We hope they will make you hot and horny. We sure had fun making them. Have a great HNT and May the Force be with you! Anakin Technorati Tags: HNT, spanking, spanking video, razor strop

Meme

I got tagged for a meme and thought I would get that up before we go out for dinner. I wasn't planning to do a blog post today. I've had a busy day and I feel lazy now. I walked almost 2 hours today in total. I am tired now and worn out. I feel very centered today and submissive to Master. We had a really nice day together yesterday and got reconnected as you can tell from his blog post and pictures he put up. :) We both really needed it. I hope to write out the details from yesterday in a blog post soon. We played for hours. I was tied up for 2 hours. My ass has been sore today and quite bruised and it still has Anakin's property on it. He realized after that he wrote on my ass with a permanent marker. I just hope that we are not in a car accident or something. I can't imagine trying to explain to the hospital why that is on my ass. lol. I like this picture. Reminds me of Master and I's special place by the lake. I hope we can go there this summer. I really enjoy being with him there...in the place that we had our honeymoon. It's the place we hope to retire to one day. :) Tommorow is HNT! Stay tuned for another hot photo. I got tagged from angel reflections. I linked to her blog today and recommend checking it out! I also added two more links yesterday to: Evilicious Blonde - She's got a great blog and I love her hot pictures. I really enjoy her blog and recommend checking it out. and Lazy geisha - she's really got a hot and erotic blog. I just recently found her blog but it is now one of my favorites. She's got a lot of really good information on her blog and many of her blog posts got me very wet. Check it out! Now for the meme: Four jobs I have had in my life: 1. Secretary 2. Retail sales clerk 3. in a library 4. nanny Four movies I would watch over and over: 1. Any of the Star wars movies 2. Million Dollar Baby 3. Any of the Matrix's 4. Any of the Godfather movies Four places I have lived : I have only ever lived in Vancouver, BC. Places around the fraser valley. Four TV shows I love to watch: 1. Miami Vice re-runs 2. Young and the Restless 3. Sopranos 4. ER Four places I have been on vacation: 1. Europe when I was 13 2. Hawaii (2 times) 3. Las Vegas (5 times) 4. Los Angeles (3 times) Four web sites I visit often: 1. Kinkycards.com 2. Mark E. DeSade 3. Phantastique Discipline 4. Taken In Hand Four friends or family that have been tagged that I think will respond: 1. good girl 2. Stiletto Girl 3. scarlett 4. ceeci and anyone else who wants to do the meme! Four of my favorite foods: 1. Homemade perogies 2. M and M's 3. Pizza (especially Pizza Hut) 4. Chicken (especially Swiss Chalet) Four places I would rather be right now: 1. with Master Anakin 2. at the Mall shopping 3. in Italy seeing my sis 4. in a hot bubble bath with candles and music Well I should try to get a few things done before we go out for dinner and out shopping at the mall. I hope everyone is having a good day. It's been beautiful weather today. I'm in a very relaxed and good mood. There is nothing like a good spanking and some great sex and play to help you feel happy again and very peaceful. :) May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Spanked and reconnected

As I write this post, padme has been properly punished and played with and is asleep in her chains and under lock and key, drifted off into subspace part that began part way through the scene. She needed My attention so badly, so I took the day off work and had the children sat so that I could attend to her and reconnect with her, my one and only padme. She is my slave today in every way. She has no responsibilities, except to serve. As part of her punishment she has been grounded and will not be going on the computer until tomorrow. We needed this reconnection, to fulfill our respectful roles and satisfy that hunger to which I'm certain many readers can relate. Her ass positively glowed, and so shone through her happy, fulfilled slave attitude as I tucked her in for an afternoon nap. In the midst of the scene, I was inspired to take some great photos and new videos of parts of her punishment. I will be announcing and putting these pictures and videos up on the blog over the next little while. May the force be strong in you, as it is in us today. ~Anakin Technorati Tags: spanking, punishment, subspace

Needy slave

I wanted to share a photo from yesterday. This is where I spent Father's Day. Master wanted to go to top of Burnaby Mountain. It's one of our favorite places. The restraunt, Horizons where we usually meet Master R is up there. It has a beautiful view of downtown Vancouver. I really love how this picture turned out. I made breakfast for Master and we headed up there for the day. We talked about old memories and took a lot of pictures. Yes, they were all vanilla. Our son was with us and the park was crowded. We came home and watched Revenge of the Sith again on the digial movie station. He dyed my hair light blonde. Master got to work out which got him back to his old self. He got very dominant last night. I tried to tell him how needy I feel right now. We had no play time all weekend. There's been little sex in the last week and a half. He's let many rules go due to the stress in our life. I feel very needy for him. I want to go back to the way it was. I want to feel his control again. I need a spanking. I need my Master so bad. The submissive in my soul is aching. The woman in me wants to feel the love of another woman so bad. I want to feel needed...to feel loved. I am feeling so vulnerable and insecure right now. I felt so sexy with my very light blonde hair. He wants it long and it's grown out so beautifully. My period stopped yesterday. I wanted to fuck so bad. I hoped he might want me. I feel sexually frustrated. He seemed mad at me, not turned on. We were both too tired and didn't fuck. I feel so sexy and playful but that no one is around. I love being a blonde. I hated that my roots were showing. I really didn't feel as sexy as a red head. I've had this fantasy today. Of Master coming home and pushing me against the wall and fucking me hard. I know today we have plans though with his Dad as his dad wasn't around yesterday for father's day. Always so many commitments and not enough time together. I chatted with schiava this morning. I told her I feel so needy of her too. It's been a hard week for us both. There hasn't been a lot of playful talk. I really need to feel her closeness right now. She sent me a beautiful and sexy photo of herself. It turned me on. It was the first sexual feeling I've had in a week. I miss sex. I miss playing with my Master. Having a playful chat with my sis. I really feel a build up from all the stress and life the last week. I just wish Master was here or my sis lived closer. I really want someone to play with today. I met a friend through collarme.com. I got a response to my ad on there from a woman who lives close by. I was glad to meet someone who also calls their Master, Daddy. I will be glad if I have a friendship with her at least. I miss having friends I can have coffee with. I miss having people around me that I can hang out with and chat about Master with. I can't talk to S about my lifestyle. S hasn't wanted much to do with me lately. With six kid's and her own problems, she has pretty much disappeared on me. I feel like outside of this blog I don't have any real friends that I can meet. I miss shopping with S. I miss being able to chat on the phone with her for a hour about stuff. I just feel so lonely sometimes. I hope that this woman and I can at least be friend's. I havn't had much luck with the personal ads. Most people seem to just want a fuck friend. With no feelings or commitments. I'd like to meet someone who I can be friend's with too. Someone to be girly with or be able to hang out at a munch or social event. I realized that we havn't had much social experience in the lifestyle. Many people I have met have gone to the munches or a kinky event downtown or such. Master isn't very social and I feel that is missing in my life. I am longing for friendships in the bdsm lifestyle. People who know the real me and accept me and that I share a bond with. My horoscope was interesting this morning. I really felt like I could relate to those feelings today. I feel abandoned by some people recently and longing for love and friendship so badly. Libra- An overwhelming fear of abandonment can cause you to question your loved ones’ devotion today. Feelings of possessiveness can well up in your soul as you wonder how close and loving your relationships actually are. As a result, you may find yourself becoming more protective of not only your loved ones but also your material possessions. You can ease the anxiety you feel by accepting that the people you care about are not going to abandon you. Your recovery will likely go more smoothly if you make a conscious effort to share your possessions with others and give your loved ones more freedom. You may feel safer and less vulnerable today when you allow your family and friends to approach you with affection and support rather than demanding it of them. Understanding that the individuals who truly love you represent a permanent part of your life and your soul can help you feel more secure in your relationships. A fear of being abandoned by those we draw strength and sustenance from can make us react possessively when confronted with challenges or changes in our lives. When you have faith in the loyalty of your family and friends, you can use that assurance to build an unshakable emotional foundation. The support they give you, directly or indirectly, will allow you to freely explore all life has to offer without being afraid that your adding value to your own life will harm the relationships you have built with others. Accept today that your loved ones’ affection is constant, expressed or not, and you won’t doubt the depth of their feelings. What do you think? Discuss astrology and share your opinion Want more DailyOM? Register for your free email, or browse previous horoscopes I am a firm believer in astrology and find a lot of it rings true for the libra that I am. I hope everyone had a good weekend. May the force be with you always! ~padme

Happy Father's Day Daddy!

Happy Father's Day to anyone celebrating today. I want to wish my Master and Daddy a very happy father's day!! He works hard everyday for the kid's and I and today is his day. He is the force in our family. I plan to make him a delicious breakfast after I finish the blog work. He's a really good Dad to our children and a wonderful Daddy to me. I plan to spend the day with him today and make him feel loved and appreciated. This picture reminds me of him and skywalker. Our son is now old enough to wish him a happy father's day and drew him a picture. It was so cute. Master also got a really expensive pen set and some other small stuff. I want to thank mary for her idea for last night. I also slept like a rock. I was having the vodka before midnight and by the time it came around I was a bit tipsy but I did raise my glass and toasted to you and I and every other person who is like us. I won't be phoning my Dad today. I have chosen to go through today feeling strong and not alone. Today is about my Master and his being a good Dad to our children and Daddy to me. I know he's really been there for me in so many ways. I love him so very much. Thank you mary for changing the energy of today. I felt differently waking up this morning. I am so glad to not I am not alone. I talked to my good friend, adam last night. I am so glad to have his friendship in my life. He's really become close to Master and I both. Thanks adam for being one of my best friends. I meant what I said. I can see us being friends for a long time. I really do feel like one day we will meet. My kitten, miesha made it through her surgery and she's doing ok. She was very tired last night and couldn't walk very well but we put her into the kid's room with her litter box and special soft blanket and water and she was ok. Today she's slowing moving around. I'm glad it's over with and she is hanging in there. I know it won't be long til she's back to her frisky self. Thanks Stiletto Girl for your e-card for Miesha. It was so cute and made me smile. :) I know we were going to take a hiatus but I am glad we didn't. I have tried to post about real stuff that's happening in our lives. The last couple of posts have been really good to write. I have stopped worrying about the comments or stats. It hasn't been a sexy week for us and we have been stressed due to tooth problems and our kitten getting fixed. I havn't been spanked all week. I am hoping that things might get back to normal this week and we can get back on track. I've enjoyed snuggling close to Master this weekend and watching movies. We saw the Wedding Crashers again last night. It was so funny! I just wanted to give everyone a update on my kitty and also wish our readers a happy father's day. I am feeling a lot stronger thanks to mary and my friend's today. Thank you guy's. You are all the best!! BIG HUGS May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Worried about Miesha

I'm worried this morning about my kitty, miesha. She's getting fixed today. We dropped her off this morning. Poor Miesha. She seemed so scared. She's my little baby. I know this is routine but I still worry. The whole family has become so attached to her. She's our only pet and I adore her. She was born on Christmas Eve. We call her Miesha as she is our little gift from god. I just want her to get through this. I know a lot of my anxiety is coming from today. I'll be glad when this is over. I am a cat person and have had different cats my whole life but miesha is a special kitty. She's got her own personality. kaya had some pictures of her kitty up in her blog today. She's got a cute kitty too. Who else out there has a cat as a pet? We were going to take a break from the blog until Monday. I just decided I would write about what is happening in my life right now. There hasn't been any sex or spankings in a week. It's been a very tough week for Master and I both. We both have had different issues going on like his tooth and my family issues. I just havn't felt like even talking about spankings or sex. The stress is our lives has taken a toll on her sex drives. I've had my period too and Master with his root canal. Usually Friday night is our play night but last night we both were not feeling up to it. I wanted to feel close to him though. He put our son to bed. Poured me a glass of Jackson Trigg's merlot and brought over the M and M bowl. I asked him if he wanted to play and he admited he wasn't in the mood. I wasn't either. We were both tired too from the week. I had one of our favorite movies, Legends of the Fall in the DVD player. He put candles on around the room and we snuggled up together watching our movie. I cried and he wiped away the tears for me. I'm glad he remembered the kleenex. I cried a lot. That movie just does something to me. It was a romantic evening. Yes, we are Master and slave. But we are also husband and wife. We are best friends. We enjoy evenings of just being together. I love the simple things sometimes. We are a very romantic type of couple. My sister, E is going through a lot right now. She might have to go to court. I've been on messenger with her a lot. I've been worried about her. I got a kinkycard this morning from my sis, schiava. I've been thinking about her a lot. I really feel she's the only woman to really understand me. I know I can count on her and it's a beautiful feeling. This week we didn't do a lot of playful chat either but that was ok because I knew we were there for one another. I hope she likes my birthday card and small presents I got her. I sent the card yesterday. I miss the touch of another woman so bad sometimes. I ache for schiava. I wonder if I will ever feel the touch of a woman again. The kiss of a woman's lips. The softness of skin next to mine. It's been almost 4 years for me since I have touched a woman intimately and I miss it so much sometimes. Master is at karate with our son right now. I hope he likes what I got him from the kid's for Father's day. He is such a good Dad. I love to watch him around our kid's. He accepted my daughter from day one. He changed diapers that first day we moved in together. He was the second person I told that I was pregnant with her. He came to the hospital and held her longer than her own Dad that day she was born. He was my best friend during that pregnancy and helped me through a lot. He was the one who tell me I was going to get pregnant with his child. I handed over my birth control pills and two months later I got pregnant. June 28, 2000 was the conception date of skywalker. I remember every single minute of it. I knew after we had made love that night that something had changed in our life for the better. I remember the date I found out I was pregnant. July 13. My hand was shaking as I took the pregnancy test. It showed up clear that I was pregnant and came downstairs to Master who was waiting at the bottom of the stairs with a big smile. I didn't say a word. I showed him the test. He got down on his knees and kisses my stomach. He was so happy. He cried. He was more dominant during that pregnancy with skywalker than any other time. Yet I was only spanked 3 times during the pregnancy. We were both afraid of me losing him. Master was different than my first husband. He was there for the ultrasounds and during every single event in the pregnancy. He came into the room when I had the c-section and held my hand. I watched his expression as he saw his son come out of me. A son who looked just like him. A son that was a part of us. Our love child. Our son is a miniature version of Master. Master is a really good Dad. He is the Dad that I never had. He's a Daddy to me too. He's told me many times that he has 3 children. I am very much like a child. I am high needs and I have tantrums. When my own Father wouldn't walk me down the aisle, he did. He put his arm through mine and walked me proudly down the aisle. Master tucks me at night with my teddy bear. He buy's me my M and M's and feeds them to me like a child. He is my Daddy. He's the father to my children. I really hope he has a good father's day tommorow. He deserves it! I want to tell him Happy Father's day Daddy! Your family loves you and we all appreciate everything that you do for us. mary...I will be toasting tonight. I loved your comment and your idea is a good one. Your right..we can feel strong and united together. I hope mary doesn't mind me using her comment but I wanted others to know what she said in case anyone else wants to join us tonight. Perhaps at midnight Saturday you and I and all the wounded adult daughters out there should toast to survival then down a shot of vodka, then toast to happiness for ourselves and all our sisters and our wounded fathers, last let's toast to forgiveness and forgive ourselves for being tired of carrying the pain around with us and so then allow ourselves to put it down. After we can pass out in bed collectively wishing each other well. I will say to you "I honor your pain" and "I honor your drive to love." "I am sorry for your sadness." Then in the morning we will rise and celebrate. She is right. Together we can change the energy of the day. I'm glad I am not alone. Does anyone else want to join us? May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: kitten, romantic, Father's Day

Congratulations Princess Leia!

I am a proud Mama tonight and want to share the news with the world. My daughter has been practicing all week and getting ready for her big test tonight. The whole family was there including my ex-husband to watch her test for her gold belt. She had a white one and this was her first belt grading test. She did so good. I was so proud to watch her. She's come a long way. She worked hard for this. I've done a good job raising and strong and independant daughter. I want her to have confidence and discipline in her life. The karate has done wonders for our family. Both our children are in karate and will be doing this at least until they both get their black belts. W/we want to teach my children to be strong. I refuse to let them be bullied. I was bullied in Elementary school and I remember feeling helpless and weak. My children will know how to be strong. Congratulations Princess Leia!! We have watched the movie, The Karate Kid so many times. Our children are inspired by it. My son who's 5 can do karate kicks just like the karate kid. I am so proud of both our kids. W/we have raised them in a very different house than my own. We have a traditional house as Master is the HOH but we have tried to teach our children to be strong and independant at an early age. The cost did not matter to us. Yes, karate was expensive for both children and Master also but we want everyone to have discipline and learn how to defend themselves. I wish Master would put me in. I think there is a lot I can learn from it too. It's a good night for our family and my daughter was beaming as she was handed her gold belt. It's a step in the right direction, another step towards the black belt. I am so proud of her. I had a pretty yucky day. It helped to chat to a few people like my sis and also k. Thanks k for chatting. I wasn't great company but enjoyed our chat. I want to thank mary for her comment on my last blog post. It really helps to have someone who understands my relationship with my Dad. Sometimes I feel so alone. I've had years of councelling. They started when I was 17. I just don't want to go back to a councellor and repeat the same things over and over again. This chapter with my Dad has to close. I will think of him until Father's day and then I will think of him no more. I agree with what mary said. I'm so happy to know others understand the emotional pain I have felt with this my whole life. It's been hard to turn out ok after all the emotional and physical pain my whole life from him. I realized today that others are right. My family with Master and our children is what is important. Seeing my daughter so proud of herself made my night. It made my week!! I am a proud mom and want to shout it from the roof tops! May the force be with you all! ~padme Technorati Tags: karate

Needing Master's force

I know Master and I were going to take a break til Monday from our blog but I saw this comic and had to put it up. I got a good laugh from it. I am hoping to give Master a smile at work today from it. It's from joytech.com which seems to have some really funny stuff. Master has his root canal yesterday and has been in a lot of pain from it. I've been thinking of him all morning. Father's day is this weekend. I wish I could hide and pretend it doesn't exist. So how do you handle mother's day or father's day when you don't have a good relationship with your parent?? Or your parent is passed away? I think sometimes those days make people feel depressed. I always feel this way when Father's day comes around. I wish I had a normal relationship with my Dad. I wish there was something I could do to make him love me or want to have a relationship with me. The cards are all fake. I don't know where my Dad is to send him a card and after his phone call I don't want to anyways. I want to stay far away from him. Am I the only one who hates this day?? I know I must celebrate it as Master is a father to our children and he also has a Dad we celebrate with. But I can't help but think of my own Father and what's missing in my life. The hole in my heart from the emotional damage he has done to me. I have been wondering the last few days if he ever loved me. I was told he pushed my mom against the wall which started her premature labor with me. The abuse started before I was born. He was not around when I was born. My earliest memories are of him hitting my mom and taunting my brother. I tried to be a good girl growing up. Hoping that maybe if I got good grades or in the school play that maybe he might be proud of me. But he never was. Hate filled his heart. I just don't remember many good memories with him. Today I have felt so depressed. He took a bit of my self esteem this week and stomped on it. No one can get to me this way like my Dad. I thought that being there day after day while he was in the ICU would change things. But it didn't. He is the same asshole he always was. I feel so angry and want to write it all out. Write him a letter. Tell him exactly what I think of him. I really didn't plan to blog but I needed a outlet today. I am filled with so many negative emotions. I want Father's day over with. I'm worried about our kitty having her surgery tommorow. I want this weekend over. I want to get out of this black hole that I am in. I miss getting spanked. I miss having sex. I miss Master. I really miss his control over me. I feel so out of control today. I need him so badly. I need him to know....to know how badly I need my Daddy right now. Please take care of me, Daddy. Please protect me from that son of a bitch who calls himself my Dad. I can't keep on this roller coaster with him. I just want you to keep me from his poison. This has been a hard week for us, Master. We've gone through so much. Our relationship has been tested. I havn't been easy to live with. I just want to have some sunshine in my life right now... I need you Master....I need your force so bad. May the force be with you all! ~padme

Happy HNT and a hiatus

Happy HNT! Here's my sexy padme in black and white, bending over and touching herself. I left the tattoo red as I really liked the color. Under the tattoo it says Princess. We hope you enjoy. I love photographing my favorite model, and I love black and white photography. As you can read from padme's previous post, we've got a lot going on this weekend, and we're taking a brief break from the blog. We'll be back Monday, hopefully rested and recovered from a very busy weekend. Between now and then, enjoy our pictures, our new erotic video, and be sure to check out our previous posts and archives if you haven't before, (they are on a drop down menu down the right-hand column). There are a lot of great posts, pictures and stories for you to enjoy. We hope all of you have a great weekend. ~Anakin and padme~ May the force be with you. Technorati Tags: HNT, erotic photography

Sadness

This is a warning to those about to read this blog post. I am not doing very good. I have had to have a adivan and I am very fragile as I write this blog post. I was uncertain about turning on comments but decided not to. I think anything could honestly push me over the edge right now. I've had the one worst days ever today. I am blogging for myself today. I wanted to get it all out. And to also explain why I might not be on the computer for the next few days. I am in hiding mode and I really want to disappear. I need a few days to clear my head of all that's happened and get through a few difficult times ahead. There seems to be so much going on and I am am a all time low. I want to thank good girl for giving me the advice to blog about my feelings today. Master offered to do the blog post but I said that it would be good to get my feelings out. Thanks good girl. It is helping me to get some feelings out. June 14th is a difficult day for me. I knew this day was coming. I always get down during this time. It would have been my Bah Bah's (Russian for grandma) birthday. She passed away many years ago. We were very close and she pretty much raised me and also named me. She inspired me in many ways and her death was very hard on me. I was in a serious depression for a year after her death. I was there with her hours before she died. I held her soft hands as she talked in Russian to me. I don't know much Russian and couldn't really understand her but I just wanted to be close to her. A part of me honestly died when she did. She was more of a mother to me than my own mother. Every day on this day I want to phone her to wish her a happy birthday like I did every year since I can remember. Today it reminds me that she is not here. There is no phone call. I miss her so much sometimes. My heart aches for her today. It was also a day of loss for me in another way. I lost my first child June 14/94. I tried for a year and a half to get pregnant and I was so excited when it finally happened two months after my wedding to my first husband. I was 6 1/2 weeks pregnant when the bleeding started in the Keg. I was rushed to Emergency. I called my husband, B. He was too busy to come to the hospital and be there for me. I know that was a real defining moment in our marriage. I know in my heart I never forgave him. Work always came first for him. He was a work a holic. He was working and didn't make it to the hospital when I gave birth to our daughter. My mother had to be there for me during that. He couldn't make it for prenatal classes so my mom had to take me. I felt so alone. Even during ultrasounds he was not there. I think of that child sometimes. I remember it being my bah bah's birthday that day and coming home from the hospital and having to phone her and wish her a happy birthday and also tell her I had lost her great-grandchild. She was so sad. I was in terrible pain that day. It honestly wasn't a surprise when my marriage ended to B. It had ended long before our divorce. I tried several times to repair a dead marriage. We hadn't had sex in 9 months when I started my affair with Master Anakin. I woke up feeling sad and tried to talk to my sis, schiava for a while. I also started my period. I was having terrible cramps. I talked to S for a while. She was very supportive. I didn't really want to go on the computer but I forced myself. I knew my sis was expecting me. After she left I did some blog reading and then listening to music. I shouldn't have listened to a few songs but I did. They reminded me of her. The song played at her funeral. I was worried I also might have lost a friend. I was so happy when he phoned me. I was close to tears at this point. Thank you to my very special friend for phoning me. I was so scared that maybe I had lost our friendship. He's very important to me. I don't know what I would do without my very close friend in my life. He's become so important to Master and I. I was so glad he phoned me. I really wanted to cry but I didn't want my in law's to see it. I had a hard time keeping it together while my in law's took me grocery shopping. I was close to tears a few times but tried to hold it in. Why is it the grocery stores seem to play sad music when your not feeling good?? A few very depressing songs came on the speaker and I really had a hard time dealing with the groceries. I have many events happening I had to buy for like Father's day for Master and my daughter's birthday coming up. I came home and noticed a huge mess my daughter had made in her room. My mother in law was over and saw my expression as I entered her room. I was so beyond any emotions at this point. I heard the phone ring though and ran downstairs. I didn't recognize the phone number. It was my Dad. I wasn't too surprised in a way. I am pretty sure he wanted to come around with Father's Day coming around. He wants to look like the Father of the year. He likes to come around during holidays. It's the first time I have heard from him since he was in the hospital from trying to kill himself. I could tell he was in a mood right off the bat. The conversation got tense quickly. I got very angry with him which is hard for me. The child inside of me has a hard time standing up to that man still. I am 33 years old and still so scared of my Dad. I feel like he can come through the phone and beat me up again. My Father was very abusive towards me physically and emotionally growing up. My Father is a true sadist. He liked to beat on my brother most. My brother turned out fucked up because of him. I have seen my brother almost turn into my Dad in the last few years through his drug abuse. I stood up for my brother. My Dad really treated him shitty after his surgery. He was a jerk to my brother and I told him so. My gift for doing that was my Dad basically flipping out and calling me a bitch and hanging up on me. He always likes to have the last word. This isn't the first time he's done this to me. I then lost it. I had a full blown panic attack. I was shaking. I was stunned. I phoned Master at work and asked him to please come home. Then I phoned S and asked her for a adivan. She told me she would come straight over. I am so glad she came over. She hugged me and was there for me. She remembers my wedding and the last time he did this to me. I almost had to go to the hospital. I was in terrible shape. I truly hate that son of a bitch. He is dead to me...I will not forgive him again. Why do I take back a man who always does this to me?? It's like a merry go round. I take him back and try to get close to a man who still puts me down even after all these years. He can make me feel lower than anyone can. Get under my skin...and make me want to go cut myself. I started cutting myself at 15 to ease the pain of the abuse. I had a eating disorder also when I was younger. My Dad said it was me trying to get attention. But it was me dying inside...trying to get control over something. My Dad controlled every single aspect of my life. Eating was the one area he couldn't. I need to get through the next few days. Master is getting his root canal tommorow and has been dealing with pain for a week. I have my period. Our cat is getting fixed and having her surgery on Saturday. And then Father's day is Sunday. I really hate that day. Things seem so bleak. I am so tired. I can't seem to write about spankings or sex. They are so far from my mind right now. I am hurting and I need to try to deal with this all. I'm afraid of blogging too much in the next while and this blog getting filled full of negative posts. I just don't feel like a very happy person to be around. I feel guilty for dragging everyone down. Master Anakin will be posting the HNT photo tommorow. I won't be around my blog or the computer for the next few days. I hope everyone understands. My force is weak...and struggling... my sadness so overwhelming....my world so dark... May the force be with you all!! ~padme

padme's meme

I was trying to find a picture to describe my feelings today and came across this beautiful picture of Anakin and padme. I love it!! I can feel the emotions of both Anakin and padme. Just like Anakin and padme, I have my struggles with my Master. He has been leaning towards the Dark Side the last week. His stress has been building. Mine has too and last night we both had a huge fight. Master is getting his root canal Thursday but has been troubled by tooth pain for a week now. He has family issues going on and has been tired. I am stressed and also having pms. We are both worried about our kitty who goes in for surgery on Saturday. We both feel the rush of life right now. His work is busy, our kid's have been sick and our daughter has been home since Thursday. I am trapped inside and not even being able to do my daily walks. I have a painful anniversary tommorow and Father's day coming up. This isn't a great time of year for me. I found out my Dad moved and I don't know where he is. So I couldn't send him a card even if I wanted to. I found out he pulled some shit with my brother. What else is new. Did my brother really think my asshole of a father would care about him?? He has never cared. The man has serious problems. They told us he has personality disorder. I just know I can't have him in my life anymore. I've made peace with the fact we will never share a relationship. I know in my heart that chapter is closed. I will never let him in again. I tried and failed. It's his loss. I love Father's day for Master as he is a Daddy to me and our kid's. He's a great father and I love to watch him with our children. I hate Father's day because it reminds me just how bad my relationship is with Mr. Soprano. My sis, schiava had to delete her new blog this morning. I really felt sad for her. That creep found his way into her new blog. I know she's very sad that she isn't able to blog right now. I feel strange deleting her link now from the blog. She's a important part of my life on and off this blog. I really hope there is a way for her to blog again one day. I am going to miss heading over to her blog first thing every morning. I really hope she knows I have been thinking about her today and wishing there was a way of being there for her. I want to thank Stiletto girl and also good girl for being there for me today. They really helped cheer me up during a bad day for me. My friend, adam and I also talked on the phone. He's really become a good friend to Master and I both. I am a bit worried about him right now. Master wasn't too happy about something that happened last night. He was ready to pull yahoo. I just hope that anyone who wants to talk to us, understands that we have a TPE relationship. My time belongs to him. I now have a new rule that I am not allowed on the computer at night unless special permission is given. Master and I had a fight last night but I am hoping to get things straight with us tonight. I didn't handle it well and had a tantrum. I am preparing his favorite meal for dinner tonight and worked more on the housework. I know he was mad that I spent so much time yesterday on the computer. Part of the problem was me trying to fix our video problem myself without waiting for him to come home. I wasted many hours on that. I hate this time of the month. I really want to feel connected to him again. I hope Master knows that I am thinking of him all day today. I am not myself when things are not right between us. I have decided to try someone new today. I am creating my very own meme. I'm calling this padme's meme. If you do this meme, please link back to me. If you do this meme, please let me know. or send me a e-mail. I really hope some people might try this. I love to hear people's answer. These were my questions I came up with with a little help from my friend's. :) These are some things that I really like to find out about people when I am first getting to know them. I hope Master might do this meme too! I want to hear his answers too! I apologize if I am repeating any other meme questions. I wanted to come up with original questions for this. I am going to answer my own questions to this meme. enjoy! 1. What is your favorite TV show? my favorite tv show is Young and the Restless. I never miss a episode and have watched it since I was 15. I also love Miami Vice. 2. What is your favorite movie? I have many favorite movies. It's hard to chose. I loved Wild Things a lot for my own personal reasons. :) 3. What is your favorite color? My fav color is red 4. What is your best feeling in the world? Mine would have to be orgasm. I love that feeling so much! 5. What is your worst feeling in the world? My worst feeling is being sick or my arthritis acting up. It can be very painful sometimes for me. 6. What is your favorite food? I love Russian food. Home made perogies are my absolute favorite food in the world. My Bah Bah made the best! 7. What is your favorite junk food? I love M and M's. We have a M and M bowl from Las Vegas which I pour them all into and will eat them one at a time to fully enjoy the experience. 8. What is your favorite soft drink? I love cherry coke. 9. Who is your favorite poet? I know Master has done some terrific poetry and he is my favorite. :) 10. What is your favorite ice-cream? I love chocolate chip mint 11. What is your favorite magazine to read? I love Us or People to read 12. What is your favorite place to go when feeling sad? I love go head to the bath for a hot bubble bath with Lush or Saje products. I put on candles and music and relax and my troubles tend to melt away. 13. What is your favorite sport? I love UFC and boxing 14. What is your favorite holiday? I love Halloween. Getting dressed up and taking my kid's out trick or treating. 15. What is your favorite sex position? I love doggy style. :) 16. What is your favorite spanking toy? Mine is Master's belt or his hand. 17. What is your favorite sexual aid? I love my small butt plug. I find wearing this always turns me on like crazy. I also love clothes pins. :) 18. What is your favorite Star wars movie? I love Revenge of the Sith. Next would be Return of the Jedi. 19. What is your favorite time of day to have sex? I love to fuck right before bed as it helps me sleep. 20. What is your favorite type of bondage? (saran wrap, cuffs, duct tape etc...) I love the handcuffs and leg cuffs although I hope we do the saran wrap sometime again. :) 21. Who is your favorite group/singer? I love both Fleetwood Mac and Duran Duran equally and listen to the music a lot. 22. What is your ultimate fantasy?? I would love to go to Las Vegas to see a UFC fight and see the Las Vegas strip again with Master. I would love to meet a ultimate fighter like Tito or Andrei. For a ultimate sex fantasy...I would say I hope one day to get fucked with a strap on from a woman. 23. What do you wish you were doing right now?? I wish I was getting spanked or fucked by Master 24. On a typical Friday night... My typical Friday night is play time with Master Anakin. We always make the time every Friday to spend some good quality play time together. 25. What is your favorite books? I loved the Beauty series-Anne Rice. I also loved the vampire books she wrote. 26. Who is your favorite author? Anne Rice 27. Do you role play at all? If so, what is your favorite type of role play? Master and I obviously enjoy the school girl role play but I also enjoy star wars role playing also. 28. What is your favorite month of the year? I love October when the leaves are falling to the ground and it's crisp in the air and my birthday month. 29. What is the most interesting place you have ever had sex?? I had sex on the beach in Waikki in a one night stand with a very hot blonde hair hottie 30. What age were you when you lost your virginity? It was on my 18th birthday in the back of a New Yorker with my first husband. May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Sugasm # 36

This week’s best of the sex blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Want in Sugasm #37? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist by the end of next Monday night and you’re all set. Sugasm Schedule is as follows: Wednesday - Post request goes up Friday - Submissions close at midnight PST Monday - Sugasm is posted; last day to post the previous Sugasm We’re back on track and good things are coming. Thanks for participating! Announcements Get Asia Argento’s Panties (sugarbank.com) For The Girls Launches Erotic Fiction Competition (msnaughty.com) Win the Cheese (nyc-urban-gypsy.blogspot.com) Black Ball 14 giugno 2006 (deboratravslave.erosblog.it) Erotic Writing and Experiences Time of the Month (edinerotica.blogspot.com) To Caitlin’s Tits, and Well Beyond (totalsensuality.blogspot.com) A Fantasy Story, by Me (dontwakethekids.blogspot.com) Thigh Highs, No Panties and Red Wine (wetbeyondbelief.blogspot.com) Look Through Any Window - Part Five (theholidaylife.blogspot.com) I Want… (easilyaroused.co.uk) The Best Sex I Ever Had (dawnndirty.blogspot.com) Fiction: Compromise (erotiterrorist.blogspot.com) Temptation (pleasinglydebauched.blogspot.com) Nightdreaming (gentlygently.blogspot.com) Coming Upside Down (alwaysarousedgirl.blogspot.com) Waking Sleeping Beauty (aliferestarted.blogspot.com) Naughty Night with Stiletto Girl and K (darkside-journey.blogspot.com) Assignation (talktovanessa.com) Watch Him (by Super Secret Guest Author) (domequeen.blogspot.com) Last Night’s Fun (seanandmel.blogspot.com) More Sugasm…Join the Sugasm (Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.) Bubbly in a New Vessel (teasingtaunting.blogspot.com) NSFW Pics G’Day Mate check out the I Shot Myself Video (eroticandy.blogspot.com) Earth Goddess HNT (spiritsex.blogspot.com) Carli Banks in a Bikini (babelog.sestaluna.com) The Return of Cumisha Jones (ethnorotica.com) HNT #2 (avahsascent.blogspot.com) Shaving and Silliness - Video Blog Entry (seska4lovers.com) Eve Lawrence (internetisforporn.com) Corinna of FEMJOY - 3 Galleries (sensualarousalblog.com) Nadia on Abby Winters (iloveabbywinters.com) Teen Lesbians Bathe on Sapphic Erotica (simply-sapphicerotica.com) Thoughts on Sex Sex is a Figment of My Imagination (anawtymouz.blogspot.com) Rainbow Pride (shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com) The Word of the Day is “Glissade” (realadultsex.com) Quotes - Bad Girls (seskuality.com) Meat and Veg (gentlebutfirm.blogspot.com) Wrong Place, Wrong Time (wanklog.blogspot.com) Prostitutes and Porn Stars (hotcouple.co.uk) Taking a Moment for Masturbation (taratainton.com) How Women Masturbate (onaniajournal.blogspot.com) Why Do We Go Back To The Women We Know Are _______? (vagueboy.com) Sex Work Warning: Not for the Squeamish… My Worst Sex Worker Moment to Date (lipstickexplosion.com) Fine Dining (radicalvixen.com) Making of “Lessons in Latin” (adelehaze.com) Phone Sex and Small Talk (lustinghearts.com/phonesexblog) Stocking Fetish Phone Sex (sabrinainstockings.com) Sex Advice and Sexy Reviews How to Throw a Killer Bachelor Party (4thegirlnextdoor.blogspot.com) Art of Fingering (creamonpants.com) Natural Contours - Liberte (sin.typepad.com/shauna_by_night) BDSM and Fetish Whip Me, Beat Me, Slap Me – Just Don’t Judge Me (cuntinglinguist.blogspot.com) Anticipation (The Denouemet) (redvelvetropeburn.blogspot.com) Silent Night (masterenigma.blogspot.com) I’m a Horny Little Slut (everythingoze.blogspot.com) Cucumber Fucker (spoiledebonyprincess.com) New Anklets (photos) (silvercatspanties.blogspot.com) In His Arms (thenewden.blogspot.com) Foot Fetish Boyz (caramelvixen.com/sticky_blog) Mistress Xena in Purple Boots (Video) (thebootcam.com) Gaining Trust Through a BDSM Blog or BDSM Journal (alternativealbany.com/bdsm) Lost in the Moment (jetshanger.blogspot.com) Marxist Spanking (spankingwriters.com) Photo of sexy cutie Cumisha Jones (now that’s a model with a sense of humor)

A kink in the kink(y video)

The best laid plans of mice and men... The hot video we uploaded to photobucket was brought down by the host because of its "objectional content". I guess it was just too hot! Here's the link on our latest host site; I hope they don't bring it down. If they do, we'll find yet another host. Do any of our readers know of any reliable, free adult video hosting services? Many hosts, few accept adult, fewer still allow linking to the content directly. I consider it a challenge; we shall prevail. Once we find a host, we have more videos to put up and cant wait to shoot some more to share with all of you. For now, here's the link to the video called padme enjoying herself. On another issue, I'm putting new rule into our TPE Agreement that padme will no longer be going on the computer after dinner unless she requests it from me and only then under very exceptional circumstances. she's not been getting her chores and assignments done, and so something needed to be done. she's got a spanking coming tonight for not completing her list of chores she had to do by the time I got home from work. she forgets sometimes, that for her own good, her time belongs to me. May the force be with you all. Anakin

Phone call from my sis!

I am floating on top of the world right now. I got the best surprise this morning. My sis, schiava told me she was going to try to phone me. I admit I got butterflies in my tummy right away. I know that she was nervous too. This was one of her first English phone calls and she was a bit nervous like me about the language barrier. I think we did great though. I understood everything she was saying to me. When the phone rang my heart was beating so fast. I heard her on her call phone and she had the most amazing Italian accent. We both sounded so happy and upbeat about being able to talk to one another. It was 10:30 am my time, 7:30 pm her time. Even though she is so far away, she sounded so close to me while we talked. It was like I was right there with her. I was trying to think of all the things to tell her. It really meant a lot to me. She's become so special in my life. This bonded us closer. I can't get the grin off my face. Thanks for your call, sis. It made my day. I am always so nervous when I first meet someone or talk to them on the phone. I find it changes things a lot in a internet friendship. I feel very close to my sis since he phone call. I am not sure I can even describe the many emotions I felt with her call. I was nervous but yet excited. Wet and horny. Happy and almost dizzy with how exciting it was. I wasn't expecting that when I woke up today. I thought it was just another yucky Monday. I've got my daughter home sick. Master has his root canal on Thursday. We have no sitting this weekend. I've got my period coming. Our kitty is getting fixed on Saturday and I am worried about her. I've got my mother coming in a few weeks for a visit and that stresses me out. I have a painful anniversary coming up in two days. I have Father's day coming up also which stresses me out. But yet the phone call turned my mood all around. I am so happy to have my sis in my life. She has started her new blog now and deleted her old one. I looked around for a picture and this one reminded me of her and I a bit. :) I had a really nice weekend with Master. I wrote about Friday night in my one blog post. Click HERE if you didn't read it. I saw some great movies and relaxed. I got to see my friend, S yesterday. I got some housework done. Master and I had lots of sex and play. I got a severe caning on Saturday night and have many marks still from that night. I was fucked hard, used hard, made to cum over and over for him, caned, spanked, flogged, paddled, strapped, and my tits were all given lots of attention. I was duct taped. I spent the weekend serving his every need. I am a happy and well content slave girl today. I miss Master though and it's always hard on Mondays to cum down from such a playful and naughty weekend. I saw a really good movie, V for Vendetta. I recommend this movie. It has Natalie Portman in it. I found it quite dark and thought provoking. Their website is actually very cool and you can check out the trailer for it on there. Master and I watched a lot of Miami Vice, season 1. I can't wait til the movie comes out next month. My friend, stiletto girl and I were chatting this morning. She sent me some pictures of her new piercing and she did a blog post about it. I admit I am kind of jealous. Master isn't too fond of facial piercings but I am so curious to get one done. I have only ever had my ears pierced. I think about it all the time wanting to get other parts pierced. Master's been telling me for a while he wants to take me in to get my tittie pierced one day. I sure hope so!! I'd love it! My friend, Griz sent me a really hot porno this morning. Got me really worked up. Thanks Griz!! Master and I were just told that there are some video problems with the video we put up yesterday. We plan to work on it right away to get it up again for everyone. It was sure a naughty feeling to know I was sharing that with others. I am a naughty girl who needs a good spanking!! *winks* May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: piercing, bisexual, naughty, Journey to the Darkside

Kinky video and a simple question...

Well, this is the first erotic video we've ever posted. We hope you enjoy it. We'd really love to hear what you think. Do you want more? Did it play okay for you in your browser? We're considering doing more if everyone likes this one. We've also updated our survey question. Please check it out and give us some feedback. This question is really important to us. We're asking you What would you like to see more of on our blog? We're putting all we can into our blog to make sure it is a place you enjoy cumming/coming. So what would you come back for if we had more of? What else do you want to see? Let us know, so we can do more for you, the reader. Answer our survey, then email. Thank you in advance. Our last survey asked which character(s) from Star Wars would you like to spank or be spanked by? The results are listed below. Princess Leia comes out on top, followed by Anakin, Darth Vader, and My padme. Obi-wan Kenobi was a surprise at 10%. The *young* Obi-wan I presume. Princess Leia 18% Anakin Skywalker 16% Darth Vader 13% Padme 13% Queen Amidala 10% Obi-wan Kenobi 10% Han Solo 7% May the Force be with you all. Anakin

Horny padme ready for play

I am sitting here writing this blog post in my blue La Senza nightgown and blue collar and no panties. My computer chair is soaked right now. I want to cum so bad this morning. Master is downstairs and working out hard. I love when he pumps up his testosterone. He's been so dominant lately. We have sitting today and play to spend the day playing. I can't wait! I woke up wet and I want to fuck so bad. We had a terrific night last night and I wanted to blog about it while it's still fresh in my mind. We took some of the hottest photos ever last night. Master did some blog work and told me to bath and shave my pussy for him. He had the outfit waiting for me on the bed. He was planning for a hot erotic photo shoot. I was given a glass of merlot to relax and put on Il Divo on the cd. I got out of the bath very relaxed. I did my hair in braids. I put on my make up and tantra oil. It's from my Tantra lovers kit. I felt so sexy last night. I did my nails and felt so good about myself. I've been trying very hard to work on my weight. I hope you can tell from the photos. I've been doing great on my diet and exercise plan that Master has me on. I put on my red lingerie that he chose for me. It's lace and feminine and shows through at the same time. Red and black panties. Those are also see through. My black gloves. My anklet and toe ring he bought me. And also to bring different collars and toys down to our basement. I set up the scene for a photo shoot. Our son was asleep and Master was upstairs also getting ready. I was told this time he would be in the photos too. I love the photos with him and I in them. I have sent a few around to close friends. If I missed you and you want to see the photos, please e-mail me. They are smoking hot!!! I had my goth necklace on but later he changed me into my regular black play collar. The photo is only one of many we took last night. It shows what Master was wearing. Master wore all black with his military/fetish hat on. Black jeans and black shirt and black belt. He was wearing his Terminator ass kicking boots. Holding his riding crop in his big hands. I felt that crop on my ass many times last night. He bought these many years ago and one of my jobs is polishing them for him. We took lots of photos over 2 hours time. I was told to get into different positions or ordered to take a few crops on my ass. Or to masturbate for him. He had a black mat in our exercise area of our basement. It was nice and cool down there. He had my Duran Duran music playing and scented candles going and lights for the photos. Our toys were laid out for him all across the table. My nipples got erect at this sight. I was so in the mood for some fun with Master. My clit felt like it was on fire. It was throbbing and I could feel pussy juices running down my legs. "Touch yourself, slut" he ordered in Darth tone. "Yes, Master. I will touch my wet pussy lots for you" I said with innocent eyes. I felt like lolita with my braids and innocence. He was my Darth last night. I took several photos of Master last night. He looked so sexy. He was wearing that Tag spray I love so much. I wanted to jump him badly but he was making me wait and get wet. "Lick my boots, bitch" he said in his stern voice. I got down on my knees and licked his boots for him. I took the cane for him. I was told to give him a blow job on my knees. He got the tripod out so we took many sexual photos of us. He stuck his hard cock into my willing mouth. I sucked him hard. I love his cock. I loved the taste of his pre-cum. He then ordered me into my knees and I got fucked doggy style hard. He pumped his cock right into my pussy deep and I moaned. He had me on a leash the whole time we took photos and he was fucking me. He loves our leash he bought from the pet store for me. Keeps me in line and ready for him at all times. I can't get away. I could hear Hungry like the Wolf playing as he fucked me. One of my favorite songs. I hear it and immediately get wet. It brought back memories of seeing Duran Duran in concert last year. In touch with the ground 'Im on the hunt I'm after you Smell like I sound, I'm lost in a crowd And I'm hungry like the wolf Master told me yesterday he hungered for me and he meant it. I was ready to cum but he didn't let me. He wanted me to suffer for him. He yanked on the chain making me struggle for each breath. Pulled me up as he drove his cock into my pussy and he came with a big moan. "You're mine, bitch and don't you ever forget it," he seethed in his Darth tone. I was told to cum back to him after I cleaned up his cum out of my pussy. I went upstairs and cleaned up and when I came back to him he told me to lay down and spread my legs. He got the O'My lubricant and started to lub up my pussy which was already so wet. He started to fist me. I love fisting and he knows this. I have HUGE orgasms during fisting. I came so hard the first time. He ordered me to cum for him. He made me cum 2 more times before he was done with me. I could barely walk up the stairs to go to bed. My legs were shaking and I was in a complete daze. He made me beg him to have a break from the orgasms. Ever since going off the pill I have a extremely high sex drive. I want to cum again right now. I can't get enough. I am hungry like the wolf... I got news about my brother this morning. He made it through surgery. He's weak but doing okay. They are going to be keeping him an extra day or two now. He apparently lost a lot of blood and is very anemic. I'm glad to know he's okay. We hope you like the little changes to our blog. Master got a few animated gifs for our blog. I love the one of padme and Anakin rolling around in the field. That is one of my favorite scenes of padme and Anakin. I want to thank bonnie for reviewing our blog. Check it out! :) We have added a few new links. These are really good blogs that I have been reading for a while and finally got the chance to link to. Please check them out and tell them I sent you. *winks* :) melanaise and I exchanged a few e-mails yesterday. She's got a really hot blog. The first thing I noticed was the Jessica Alba doing a little dance from Sin City and some really great music from that movie. I love Sin City. :) Master really enjoyed her blog also. Thanks mel for the photobucketing yesterday. We were able to change our profile pictures. I loved padme's pictures on there. I have been reading Pandora's Box for a while now. She's really got some hot photos and a great blog. I am always heading there on Thursday to see what HNT photo she is putting up. The S Spot is a blog I began reading recently because my good friend, adam recommended it to me. I know him and shay were friend's and I went to check it out and I am reading there daily now. She's really god a great blog. :) How is everyone's weekend going? I was glad to talk to Stiletto Girl and k this morning. I showed them both some of our hot photos taken last night. I wish I lived closer to them both. I really want to meet SG so much. She's become a very special friend to me. *winks* I've been told to finish this blog post and come downstairs where our toys await me and my sweet ass. Master wants to spend some time spanking me with different toys. I want him to give me a sore ass. One that will be sore enough for sitting for a few days. It takes a lot to really mark my ass but he's told me he is going to try hard to. ohhhhhhh goodie!! *big smiles* May the force be with you all!!! ~padme Technorati Tags: bdsm, spanking, erotic photography, sex, fisting

TGIF

TGIF! (Thank God it's Friday) I'm so glad the weekend is almost here. It's my play night with Master Anakin tonight. There hasn't been much play with Master's tooth problem and being so busy. I've been told I am getting a spanking tonight. My ass is way too white today and I hope he can make it nicely red. I am putting up two really hot pictures and it's not even HNT today. Since I got some positive feedback on the new panties I wanted to share two more photos from last Friday night. Thanks for all the comments. I really enjoy the feedback and am glad others thought the panties were so sexy. I felt incredible wearing them and naughty. One photo is me sticking my ass in the air wearing the panties. My ass was just waiting for a toy to make it nice and red. Any volunteers to come make it red? I really want a spanking right now! The other is me wearing those panties and doing very naughty things. I was touching myself and Master told me to stick a finger in my juicy soaking wet pussy. I love that you can see what a naughty girl I am without seeing too much pussy. I love to show a glimpse and tease our readers. I am in a very naughty mood today and want someone to play with. Where is everyone? I am just glad blogger seems to be cooperating today. Today is a big day so far. Lots of news. My sis, schiava tried to start her new blog this morning. The servers are acting up though so she's having a bit of trouble. I am so glad we got to chat this morning. She is my ray of sunshine in the morning. I felt very close to her this morning. I'm so glad she's in my life and was thinking of her yesterday. I saw a movie last night, My Summer of Love. It was of two women who spend the summer together and fall in love. There was a very sexy and beautiful sex scene of them together. It made me think of my beautiful sis. I would give anything to be in Italy right now. Showing her my need for her. We talked about hopefully talking on the phone one day. I hope we can. I really would love to hear her voice. My brother went in for back surgery at 8:30 am and I am still waiting to hear if he is okay. Please keep him in your good thoughts today. My sister, E messaged me today to share her good news with me. She's moving in with her boyfriend. She had a painful breakup last year and has been dating her new boyfriend for almost a year. He asked her to move in with him. This is a great positive step in the right direction. I still hope one day I might be an Auntie. :) My daughter was supposed to go to Sports Day today but is sick with a cold. I want to wish single gal a happy birthday today also! Please stop by her blog and wish her a very happy 24th birthday!! Sometimes I wish I could be that age again. 24 was a special age for me. I am turning 34 in October. I still can't believe my daughter will be turning 11. Time is going so fast for me. I had some really nice chatting yesterday. I was talking to my friend, good girl. She wrote about it in a blog post. Check it out!! I'm glad her and Griz had some fun last night. It made me smile. I loved knowing they were doing naughty things while her and I were chatting. I also had a great chat with Stiletto Girl. She showed me some incredibly hot photos. She's a very beautiful woman and I was so turned on by them. Thanks SG for a very nice chat. :) I can't wait for play night tonight. Play time and hopefully some more photos to share with close friends and my sis and the blog also. I am in a very naughty mood today. Master left me a very sexy note this morning...telling me how hard he plans to spank my ass. I can really use a good hard spanking right now!! ohhhhhhhhhhhh......please cum home soon Master. Your slave girl needs some attention tonight. Use your favorite toy and make my ass red and sore. I want to not be able to sit for a day or two. How is everyone doing? Anyone have any sexy plans for this weekend? Anyone else have a spanking coming to them? I love Friday's! Time for Master and I. Yeah! My force feels strong today. Master Anakin, I was listening to a song this morning which reminded me of us. One of my favorite singers who I have the hots for, Stevie Nicks sings Leather and Lace. Lovers forever... face to face My city or mountains Stay with me stay I need you to love me I need you today Give to me your leather Take from me...my lace It reminded me of my lace panties. I am wearing those beautiful lace panties today and thinking of you. I want to do some very naughty things tonight. Let me serve you, please you, be your slave girl. I love you so much, my lover, my Master, my Lord Vader.... Can Darth please cum out and play with me? *sticking my ass in the air* Spank me please, spank me hard. Make me gasp as the paddle hits my ass. Make me beg for more. Cane me. Use me. Play with me. Please fuck me hard. I need you so badly today. I ache for you...I am yours.. now and forever... I am .... Your sweet padme xoxoxo May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: bisexual, spanking, masturbation, panties

Happy HNT - padme's new panties

I have been having problems with blogger all morning so I am going to attempt to get my blog post up for HNT. It's been frustrating. Here is a picture from last Friday of me wearing my brand new panties from La Vie En Rose. HERE is a blog post about the details of last weekend and the night I spent trying to find a new pair of panties. I didn't have any luck at La Senza at all. So I tried La Vie En Rose and bought these. I love the lace on them and ribbon hanging down. Master said he liked spanking me with these on. I think they look so sexy on my ass. What do you all think? I would love some feedback about them and this picture. Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) to everyone! My morning has been kind of blah. I caught up with my sister, E on messenger. We havn't chatted in a while. There is lots of family issues going on right now. My brother goes in for surjery tommorow. I also talked with S for a bit. I havn't seen her in a while. Tommorow is my daughter's sports day and I hope the weather improves. It's raining today and awful. I won't be online much tommorow due to the sports day and a family bbq. I am crossing my fingers the sun will come out for it all. Master didn't get his tooth problem fixed yet. I hope he's okay today. He was back at work today. My sis, schiava is still trying to move to her new blog. We didn't get to chat very much today. She was busy at work. I miss her a lot. Master and I did have a quickie last night before bed. We were both exhausted and the kids had gone to bed. He came into the bedroom and locked the door. I was half asleep as he pushed himself on me and put his hard cock into my pussy. We fucked hard and with passion. When we were done I got my vibrator out and he allowed me to cum for him. Sometimes we just need to be together and don't have the energy to play. I barely remember falling asleep in his arms. I was so tired. I'm glad we got a bit of time together. I've missed him so much. He felt so good. I can't wait until our weekend together. I feel like a lonely slave girl today aching for my Master. Tonight is a karate night so we may not get a lot of time together today. My force needs Master. May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: HNT, panties, sex

Worried slave

I am a worried slave girl today. I am very worried about Master Anakin. I am also worried about my sis, schiava. She's probably going to have to delete her blog in the morning. She's getting threats and this guy is making her life miserable. Not only is he putting negative comments on her blog but he's signed her up for a bunch of different personal ads and websites under her name. My sis has been very upset the last few days. I hope she is able to get another blog that is more protected. I wanted to put up a photo from Boris Vallejo today. I know she loves his work. Master and I do too. This photo reminds me a bit of her and her Master. I am trying to make her smile right now. I know she's had a tough few days with this situation. I will be there 100% for her through this. She is not alone. I am so angry that people are treating her this way. She is a really beautiful person inside and out. She doesn't deserve this at all. I don't understand why people would do this to someone like my sis. I really feel bad she is forced to delete her blog over this. Master Anakin has been home today in pain. He's got a terrible toothache. It was bothering him last night and today he took the day off to go to the dentist. The dentist wasn't able to do the work though. I think it's crazy he can't get in until the 15th. He needs a root canal. I have the name of another dentist so hopefully he will go tonight or tommorow for that. He's been in a terrible mood with his pain. I feel helpless that I can't do more for him. We did get some clove oil for his tooth so hopefully that will help and he's taking some Tylenol 3's also. I got a phone call today from one of my close friends, adam. It was the highlight of my day. I find that 9 times out of 10 most people won't pick up the phone when you give them your number. We played a bit of phone tag and finally were able to talk. I was so comfortable talking to him. Even Master was able to have a few words with him also. I felt very bonded to my good friend with our phone call. He's a really great friend to Master and I both. We can't wait to meet him one day. I've always wanted to go to New York. I hope that we can talk again on the phone one day. Thanks for your call, adam. It meant a lot to me. :) I got a chance to catch up today with Stiletto Girl and k too for a bit. I'm so glad for their friendship. I've worried about them too. I know I worry too much but I can't help it. I care so much for the people closest in my life. My brother has surgery schuduled for Friday. It's major back surgery. I'm worried about him too. I feel a lot of family pressures lately. I appreciate all the comments and support. I've received some wonderful e-mails from people. Thanks alex for your e-mails today too. They helped me a lot. :) Blogger sure seems to be having some problems today. I hope that they are fixed and I can publish this post. Tommorow is HNT!! Stay tuned tommorow for a new panties photo. It's a good one. Master has it ready for me to put up for tommorow. There hasn't been much happening in the spanking or fucking department this week with family stuff and tooth problems with Master. I miss him so bad. I am aching for him. I know he hasn't been in the mood though. I want this resolved soon and hope he will get it fixed before June 15th. That's a long way off. How is everyone today? What's new? Anyone getting spanked? I sure wish it was me right now. I could use some stress relief. Any volunteers to come over and spank me?? *big smiles* May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: Boris Vallejo, spanking

Having a submissive sister

I want to thank ceeci and adam for their comments today. They really meant a lot to me. We had very high stats today but hardly anyone commented. Is it that I post about vanilla stuff and hardly anyone cares? Do people only read us for the kink? At least I know two people will read my vanilla blog. ceeci's comment really touched me deeply. I love that she talks about other stuff on her blog besides M/s or spanking. I try to show people that there is more to Master and I than he spanks my ass or controls me. I really did some thinking about this blog today. I know that there are going to be some changes. Starting with our links. I can't keep up with my blog reading. Master has told me some links need to go so we plan to work on those. I like to read each and every blog on my blog links. Right now it is taking a hour or two a day. And many times the comments I do put don't seem to come back. We are also trying to come up with a new survey question. Anyone have any ideas for one? Please let us know. I know I will be scaling back a bit on this blog as I have decided to start up another blog. This one I can start fresh and write about all areas of my life. I felt guilty today for putting up a pretty vanilla post and pictures. I feel a lot of pressure to only write about kink or put up erotic photos. I get up to 30 comments from my erotic posts but only 2 from a vanilla one. I really want a place that I can express myself and talk about issues like family stuff or about gardening or wineries or movies. There are so many areas of my life that I don't share with the blog and I want to. I know a few people closest to me will read my other blog like belda and my sis. Master talked to belda last night on yahoo and I noticed tonight she did a blog post just for us. Thank you belda. You've become a very good friend to Master and I both. I know Master hasn't met too many people from the blogs but he has enjoyed getting to know belda. My son's kindergarden orientation was today. He's really growing up on me. I've been having some maternal instincts lately. It's strange for me that there are no more babies in the future. This was about the time of year I got pregnant with our son 6 years ago. I feel ready for another child but I know that chapter is closed now that Master has had the vasectomy. I lost my first child 12 years ago and it sometimes feels like yesterday for me. June has always been a big month for me with my pregnancies. I also gave birth to my daughter this month 11 years ago. Master and I had a big talk about it tonight. There are so many areas of our lives that I don't talk about on this blog. Like today, I am dealing with some major heavy family issues. My brother is going in for major surjery this week. I have my mom coming for a visit in a few weeks and that always stresses me out. And father's day is coming up and the pressure is already on to send him something. I feel like hiding. I am stressed and I need my friends right now. There has been one person who has been there for me every single day. We live far apart from one another but yet we are so close in our hearts.....my beautiful and amazing submissive sister, schiava. I put up this photo as it reminds me a bit of schiava and I. She's been on my mind all day. I want to thank my submissive sister for being the best part of my day. I get up in the morning and the first thing I do is turn on my computer so we can chat. I chat with her as I make my coffee and I want to spend every minute I can with her before she leaves from work. I love that we chat about everything. I look forward to it during the week every single day. I know I can count on her to be there for me no matter what. I try to protect her and this morning it was hard as she was going through a difficult time. I wish we lived closer. I want to be there for her. My feelings are very strong for her. She's stuck by me through some difficult times. There isn't very many people that I know I can count on truly until the end. I honestly can't imagine my life without her in it. That's how deep my feelings go. Having a submissive sister is a wonderful and amazing feeling. Today was long and not too good for me. The best part of my day was the time I spent with my sis. So tonight I thought I would write a blog post just for her to tell her how important she has become in my life. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her. I know she was feeling low this morning and I wanted to hold her in my arms and make it all better. I hate that people say such negative comments on her blog. I really hope she doesn't give up her blog over it all. But blog or not blog...we will always be a part of each other's lives. She understands my slavery to Master. I know she knows more about me than most of my close friends like S. We just seem to know one another and really connect. She's different than any other woman I've been in a relationship with. I really know I can count on her to always be a part of my life. She was the best part of my day today. She got home and came online to give me a quick kiss. I love that she is a part of my life outside this blog. I know that even if this blog is no longer here that she will be in my life. It's not just about the sex. She is like a sister to me. Just like my own sister is. I share everything with her, good and bad. I want to learn Italian so we can communicate better. I really want to talk to her on the phone. I find that most of my internet friendships never make it to that part, the phone call. I want to phone my sis and have thought about it a lot. I want to be with her so bad right now. I was watching a girl on girl scene on the porno on Saturday and all I could think about was her body. Wanting her so bad. Wanting to touch her...to feel her hair through my hands...her tits rubbed up against mine...her pussy open and ready for my mouth and fingers. It's been almost 4 years since I was with a woman and I hunger for my sis so much. schiava, I wanted to leave you a message tonight. This blog post is for you, my sweet sister. I hope I get the words right...You are in my thoughts tonight..Thank you for being a bit part of my life...You mean the world to me. mi manchi tantro (I miss you much) padme xoxoxox May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: bisexual, submissive sister, blogging

Lots of memes

I wanted to do another meme today but I also thought I would share a glimpse into my family life for our readers. I have been considering lately starting another blog. I feel a bit strange talking about vanilla stuff like family issues or even my own family stuff like my brother in this blog. It's supposed to be a erotic blog. I often want to write about memories or vanilla stuff happening in my life. I'm curious...please let me know in e-mail or here through comments if you would read a vanilla blog of mine? Does anyone care about that other side of my life? I wanted to share a few photos of last summer and a trip we took out to Banff, Alberta. We love to travel. My daughter has a few weeks left and she's off for summer vacation. I will be away from the computer more and going on many trips. I hope to come out to Alberta and maybe see my sister in her new place. We have also several other trips lined up. I know things will be changing soon with her being off for two months. I am a mom to two beautiful children. In one photo you can see us having fun in a lake up North. Master and our children are playing in the lake. I love to be a mom. I am glad to be able to be a stay at home mom and slave to Master Anakin. I am asked all the time if I plan to go back to work. Master does not want me to work. He wants me to stay at home and be there for when he wants me. We do well enough financially that I don't need to work. I did go to college where I met Master Anakin. We met back in September 1990. I was 17 and still a virgin when we met. I sat beside him in class. I knew he was smart right away and admit I sometimes copied his answers. I was a naughty girl even back then. We became best friends from that very moment. Our friendship has never changed since day one. We went for coffee and I knew immediately I could trust him. I could tell he had the hots for me. I was a big flirt and sometimes did little things on purpose to drive him crazy. We dated briefly from July-Sept 1991 when I broke up with my ex husband. We never slept together but we did kiss and make out. I was attracted to him but his intensity at times worried me. He also seemed so much older than me at that time. Yes, it's only 7 years but he had more life experience than I did. My ex tried to win me back. I went away to make a choice between the two men. I loved my first husband at the time and had lost my virginity to him. I loved Master too. It was a hard decision. I often wonder about the "butterfly effect". Just like in that movie, what would have happened if I had made the opposite decision and gone with Master instead of my first husband. A lot of lives would have been affected. I did have my daughter who I love who wouldn't exist today if I had made a different choice. I broke up through a letter to him. I expected he wouldn't stay friends with me but he did. He stood by me and was there during all my family stuff. I loved him always. I knew inside that he held a very important place in my heart. People often called Master my "second husband" cause I turned to him instead of my own husband. We both held back our feelings. Master dated other women. He dated my best friend at that time. It was hard to watch them together. I knew in November 1997 that I couldn't hold back my feelings anymore. I was starting to have fantasies of us together. So I called him over one night. My husband was at a class. We hadn't slept in the same bed for 9 months. I knew my marriage was over. I told Master I loved him. That I had always loved him. It would never change. Even if we didn't get together, we would always be best friends. We slept together that night and sparks flew. He became my lover. I hid the affair except for a few close friends. Master was the other man. I admit I didn't handle the situation well. It was a very exciting time for me though. I was fucking him every chance we got. From that first time we fucked I was hooked. Our sex life has never been boring or not fun. I want people to know more about us. I plan to write about some of our past and let others know us a bit more. People who read this blog see a lot of kink stuff but not a lot of vanilla. In many ways for me it blends together. He is my Master but always that best friend who was there for me since day one. People seem to forget that we have known each other for 16 years. We have been together for 10 of them. Married for 2 of them. I honestly can't imagine my life without him. People have come and gone in my life but he's always been right by my side. The other photo is the Mission Hill Winery that we went to. I lovd how beautiful it was there. I really want to go back there this summer. People can get a glimpse in some of beautiful British Columbia. I've lived here all my life and there are so many amazing places we like to visit. We did some wine taste testing at the winery and had a delicious lunch. I love our times together, kinky or just having fun as a family. I hope our readers enjoy a little glimpse into our life today. We are two people behind the blog who are real people who have a very real and happy family. Yes, we are kinky but we are also two people who enjoy living life to the fullest. Thank you for joining us on our journey. Thanks minxy wife for the meme: I'm not tagging anyone but if you do the meme, let me know please and I will come check out your answers. 1. My ex is: someone who can get right under my skin. 2. I am listening to: Hotel California by the Eagles (the song has new meaning for me now) 3. Maybe I should: be phoning S and catching up with her or out in the sunshine as it's a beautiful day 4. I love: Master, my kid's, my sis, my friend's, my kitty and my country home. 5. My best friend: Master is always my best friend. S is also a best friend from years ago. She's been there for me through it all including a car accident. 6. I don't understand: politics 7. I lose: I seem to lose my sunglasses a lot. 8. People say: where have you been? Especially my sister and mom. 9. The meaning of my screen name is: obviously padme is because I love Star Wars. I identify most with her character than any other in a movie or tv 10. Love is: beautiful and rare. Love is what I feel for Master. 11. Somewhere, someone is: having sex or getting a spanking 12. I will always: be a naughty slave girl to Master, be a mother, appreciate life and live it to the fullest 13. Forever seems: like my love for Master 14. I never want to: lose my kid's or Master. My family is the most important thing in my life. 15. My cell phone is: brand new and amazing. Master got one last weekend and I am still trying to figure it out. lol. 16. When I wake in the morning: I go straight to the computer to chat with my sis, schiava. Then I make my coffee and drink it as we chat. I love my time with her. It's the best part of my day. :) 17. I get annoyed when: I have not slept enough and also when the power goes out in our place. The last year with all the construction it's gone out a few times. 18. Parties are: great and fun. I enjoy a good party. :) I hope to attend a spanking party one day. 19. My dog is: ? I don't have a dog. I am more a cat person. 20. Kisses are the worst when: I can smell cigarette smoke on the lips or bad breath 21. Today I did: some chat with my sis and talked to Master and eat breakfast. 22. Tonight I will: hopefully spend some time with Master after karate. I miss him so much. 23. Tomorrow I will be: trying to do some house cleaning. 24. I really want: to spend some time with Master and to meet my sis in Italy one day. May the force be with you all! ~padme

Naughty weekend for my submissive sister and I

I am so happy this morning. I have missed my sis, schiava so much. Friday was a holiday in Italy so we didn't get to chat. I have been thinking about her so much all weekend. She did a blog post about what happened and has allowed me to share on our blog her very hot night that she had last night with her Master and another man, M. Both my sis and I had a very naughty weekend! I got up this morning to some of the hottest photos ever. I was so wet seeing the photos of her and M together and hearing of her exciting night with her Master and M. I am so proud of her. She's a wonderful slave to her Master and she made him very proud. This was her first threesome with two men. It brought back some memories for me of Master R and Master Anakin and I and a few of our very hot nights we all shared. I know she was very nervous about last night but she did really well. I wish I could have been there to see them all together. I appreciate that her Master let me see the very hot erotic photos. My sis looked so sexy in her stockings and shaved pussy down on her knees serving them both. I am so very proud this morning of my sweet sis and feeling close to her. We both had a naughty weekend and were sharing details and photos this morning with one another. Maybe one day we can all have a naughty weekend together. I can't wait to meet her and her Master. :) I want to write out the details of my weekend. I am sharing two photos from Saturday night. Let me know what you think. One is me in my outfit that I wore for Master. The other is me getting caned by the bamboo that Master got from Home Depot. It was my first spanking with bamboo and one I won't forget for a while and either will my ass. I was bent over the bed with a butt plug up my ass and given that cane many times. I think they are very hot photos. I'd love some feedback. My naughty weekend with Master: Friday night (our overnight) We went to Metrotown Mall. I love that big mall with so many of my favorite stores. He took me out for dinner to TGI Fridays. He ordered for me including a huge lime margarita. I loved the pasta dish I had. I wasn't wearing any panties and was on orgasm denial so I was very worked up at this point. He gave me his full attention, whispering in my ear a few times. He told me to go to the bathroom at one point and finger myself but not cum. He wanted to smell my pussy juices so I was told to not wash my hands. So I went into the bathroom. A few others were in there. I did as I was told though. I was completely horny. I could have cum right there. I was trying to be quiet about fingering myself and getting my clit swollen and ripe with desire. I was *extremely* horny at this point. I pulled up my pants and came back to him who was sitting there with a big smile on his face. He looked like the cat that swallowed the canery. He whispered in my ear "I hope you got yourself very wet for me, slave. Or I will have to punish you hard when we get home. But I probably will anyway." He smelled my fingers and then licked them. It was a crowded restaurant. I was nervous someone might see but also not really caring. We finished eating and he sent me on a mission. Since I was not wearing any panties, I must find the sexiest pair I could find for him to put on. He told me he was going to Chapters and he gave me 30 dollars. I was told not to come back until I found one. So I went to La Senza but there wasn't very much there that stood out for me. I walked around, knowing I wanted to please Master, worried, butterflies, and then I found La Vie En Rose. They had some incredibly beautiful lingerie. I found a beautiful blue pair of sexy panties. We will be putting a photo up for HNT this Thursday. So stay tuned for that! I've sent a few photos out to close friends of what they look like and gotten very positive feedback. *winks* :) He picked up the Vampire Wine and we stopped by Home Depot so he could pick up a few things including the bamboo cane he used on me on Saturday night. The teller had a big smile. I think she knew why we were buying it with the way Master was teasing me and playing with it in the store. We had many goodies including our cinnzeo's. cinnzeo's have special meaning for me for many reasons. I often said I was Master's cinnzeo. As they are his favorite food in the whole world. I told him I am just like the cinnamon roll, sweet and sticky and delicious. I often wear my cinnamon oil from Saje for him. It drives him crazy. I adopted the nickname cinnzeo many years ago when I worked for them. I was so happy to go off the diet for one day. Thank you Master for all the treats and gifts you bought me. I am a lucky slave girl! We came back to a porno and play. He finally let me cum after I took his paddle on my ass and attention on my tits and pussy. When he finally let me cum, I exploded. It was very big and I screamed so loud that I hope my neighbors didn't hear me. I wondered if someone might call the cops. I am a screamer during sex and can be very vocal. On Friday night I got very vocal as he fucked me in different positions. It was a terrific overnight and I enjoyed waking up naked and chained to Master. Our overnights are so precious. We can play late and sleep in and I can sleep in my play collar and sometimes chained up to him. We truly appreciate the time we have alone. Saturday: He bought me breakfast. We watched the Breakfast Club. It's one of his favorite movies. We did role playing of Bender and Claire once. I can't wait to blog about that sometime. I loved him playing Bender, the bad boy. I had no problems playing Claire. I was a red headed princess in high school just like her. We were going to name our son, Claire if he was a girl. I know Master's got a thing for the younger Molly Ringwald. Don't ya Master? *grins* We played more before our son was home. I got spanked OTK and he told me to masturbate and made me cum for him. Our son came home and we hung out playing video games. Master did a big work out in our basement gym and got pumped up. We watched Revenge of the Sith after dinner. During the movie he got intense during certain parts. He looked me in the eyes and said in Darth tone. "I am your Anakin, my padme. Don't forget it." During the one scene with Anakin turning to the dark side he told me... "You bring out the dark side in me. I would do anything for you, My padme. I understand Anakin's passion for padme. I feel the same way about you, my sweet slave girl." I got wet fast. He ordered me to go get my butt plug up my ass and come down to him. I sat there with it up my ass as we watched the rest of the movie. During scenes with Anakin and padme I was deeply moved. The movie has new meaning for me with this blog. The look in his eyes was very dark during a few parts of the movie. I got a bit nervous as he told me I was going to get the bamboo cane he had bought at Home Depot on Friday. I have never had a cane like that before. I have seen movies and I know they mark very well. He made me stew in my juices. He put our son to bed and told me to finger myself and get myself wet for him. While he was upstairs I put on a porno. It was a girl on girl scene. I thought of my sis. I fingered my clit, my pussy which was shaved and dripping wet. I didn't cum as I didn't have permission yet. He came downstairs. I was ordered upstairs to change into the outfit on the bed he had chosen. He told me that the cane was waiting for my ass. It was on the bed. To change and get into position leaning over the bed. You can see this position in the one photo. I got changed and he started to cane my ass. He took photos throughout the caning. He would sometimes show me the photo so I could see what my ass looked like. Sadist! Sweet sadist! It felt so much different than any other spanking toy. I could feel it swing across my ass cheeks and then burn. He was very precise with it. He aimed it in all the right places for it to hurt bad. I was told to keep position and not move and this was hard for me. I wanted to squirm and jump around a few times but tried to stay still. "Keep position, slut. Don't move or you'll earn more," he warned me sternly. I had the butt plug up my ass during the caning. A few times he would cane my ass and it would dig it deeper into my ass. He had me wearing my black and white thong and at one point it came down to my thighs and he laid it into me. He told me to go downstairs and wait for him. I went downstairs to our livingroom and placed a blanket near our tv and toys out for him. I waited nervously. He came downstairs. He played with me for almost 2 hours. He would cane me. Then stop. Finger me and give me nipple attention. He would lick my tit and then put a clothespin on it. He would tease it and taunt me at the same time. "You wanted Darth. Here he is, My padme." He caned my thighs too and left several marks. They hurt the most. He was very sadistic about it. I wanted to cry out several times. He took a photo of my thighs after he was done. I was in a deep subspace at this point. After a while the pain from the canes turned into pleasure. I was riding the endorphin highway full speed. I wanted more. "Please Master...more....more...more." I begged him and he would cane me 10 more times hard. My ass did bleed. We played hard. My ass was bruised and bloody by the time we were done. He took photos the whole time. He took out the butt plug and fucked my ass very hard. While he was deep in my ass he grabbed me by my blonde hair. He rode me and fucked me hard. I came hard during the anal sex. We were both relaxed and ready for bed after a few hours of playing hard. I barely remember going to bed. It was a very intense night and I felt very owned and content. My love for Master at times goes so deep and on Saturday night I felt so connected to him through the pain I received. Sunday: I did chores for Master. We went grocery shopping. We watched the season finales of Sopranos and Big Love. I love those two shows. Sopranos was great. I thought someone might get wacked though. Big Love made me cry. I was very moved during that show. I enjoyed just spending the day with Master. I watched him during his work out. He's really getting strong and in great physical shape. I'm very proud of him. I felt so submissive to him after our two nights of play. My ass was very bruised in several places. It takes a lot to bruise my ass anymore but that cane definitely left a few good ones. I wanted to please him and did several things to show my submission to him. My force feels strong today through Master. So how was everyone's weekend? May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: panties, bamboo caning, sex, sadist, Journey to the Darkside

Another meme

I only have about ten minutes to do a quick blog post tonight. I havn't been on the computer very much today. I saw another meme and thought I would give it a try. The season finale of both Sopranos and also Big Love is on tonight. So I will be snuggling close to Master very shortly for those two shows and then bedtime. It's been quite the weekend and we have many photos to share. One very sexy one of me wearing my new panties from La Vie En Rose will be my HNT photo for this week. So stay tuned for that! I am putting up one of the first erotic photos we took back in September for the blog. I don't think we have shared this photo before. My hair is a lot longer in this photo and I am wearing a temporary fairy tattoo. I love this black lingerie and how tight it fits me and shows of my tits. I am wearing my black play collar also. I will have to sit down and write a blog post about my weekend. So much happened. Last night was a very intense play night for us. I had a very hard time sitting down today. I got this meme from danae. I am not tagging anyone but if anyone gives it a try let me know. I love to look at other people's answers. I find it helps you get to know them a bit more. Accent: no accent Booze: wine (especially merlot) and vodka Chore I Hate: cleaning the bathroom Dogs/Cats: one kitty, Miesha who is 5 months old now Essential Electronics: computer Favorite Perfume/Cologne: I love Saje's oils, especially the Godess and Tantra line. I also like Britney Spears perfume, Curious Gold/Silver: I have a few gold items Insomnia: yes, I get bad insomnia when I am very stressed out Job Title: slave to Master Anakin Kids: yes, 2 rugrats, skywalker and princess leia Living Arrangements: living with Master in his house with our children and kitty Most Admired Trait: very loyal Number of Sexual Partners: 6 Overnight Hospital Stays: a few different stays mostly during my pregnancies Phobia: spiders Quote: "Do or do not. There is no try." Yoda in Star Wars Religion: I am not religious Siblings: 2 of them, a younger brother and a sister Time I usually wake up: 7:30 am during the week Unusual talents: a talent for giving a great blow job :) Vegetable I refuse to eat: brussel sprouts Worst Habit: biting my nails X-Rays: many different ones Yummy Foods I Make: Lots of different Russian foods like perogies from scratch Zodiac Sign: Libra I hope everyone had a good weekend! Sopranos is on. I have to run! :) May the force be with you all!! ~padme

300,000 and a meme

We've already had a few congratulations for reaching 300,000 visitors. Thank you bonnie and adam! We appreciate your positive comments and thanks for the e-card adam! That really meant a lot to me. Master and I were talking this morning about how pleasantly surprised we are with how our blog has grown and blossomed. I am very proud of it and of all the work we've both put into this blog. Thank you to all our readers who have been there for us along this journey...the journey to the darkside. Your encouragement and support have meant so much to both Master and me. Welcome to our new readers. Big hugs to all our friends we have made along this journey. I remember that first day we started our blog. We had only 30 hits. I didn't think anyone really cared about this blog. I am thankful to everyone who has helped us along the way. It's been quite the journey since we started back in September 2005. I have learned so much about myself and Master and I have grown closer due to this blog. We hope you'll be with us for the next 300,000 hits! I had a really wonderful night last night and hope to blog about it tommorow or Monday with all the juicy details. I wanted to share a photo of a wine that Master got for us from the liquor store yesterday. It's pretty hard to find locally. It's one of our favorite merlots. This wine is called Vampire Merlot. The website for their wines is pretty cool, dark and gothic. Both Master and I love all things vampiric. Master did this post discussing the vampire as symbol. It is imported from Transylvania, Romania, home of Dracula. This is truly one of the best wines I have ever tasted. It's so smooth and clean and tastes like sweet liquid gold. Master got out our "goth glasses" as he calls them to drink from. I recommend this brand to anyone. Master and I are amateur wine conosuers. We have been to several wineries and wine tasting tours. There is truly nothing better than a smooth glass of a great wine to be savoured with etherial music and candles. We had a very big scene last night. We played very rough. I have bruises on my inner thighs and tits. I have one of the biggest hickies ever on my neck. Does anyone want to see the photos from our night last night? We dropped off the kid's and headed to Metrotown Mall for some fun shopping. I got one of the sexiest pairs of panties ever at La Vie En Rose. They were the most expensive pair of panties I have ever bought but worth every penny. He went to Chapters. I was sent on a mission in the mall. He told me that I must get the most sexiest pair of panties ever to wear for him. I searched everywhere and finally found a beautiful pair at La Vie En Rose. I loved that store. I want to go back one day and get more sexy stuff from there. We bought treats and splurged on ourselves. We had dinner at TGI Fridays and it was delicious. Master was incredibly dominant with me throughout the night. He decided on everything. We didn't get a chance to do sex store shopping as it was late by the time we left the mall and he wanted to come home and have plenty of time to play for our overnight. We also did not do any outdoor play like I was hoping for. We ran out of time and he wanted to do a scene at home. We rented a porno and he set up one of the most amazing scenes for me ever. I hope to write about all the details...but I'm curious as to who wants to know? Master did make a stop by Home Depot for a few things including a bamboo cane. Home Depot has some amazing toys at incredibly good prices. I am a bit nervous as I was told I will be getting it tonight. My first spanking with an actual bamboo cane. Who's had the bamboo before? Yikes! My ass is still a bit sore from last night. He's been building up the nervous anxiety in me today, knowing that I will be receiving one of the hardest spankings ever and to prepare myself mentally for it. I feel very submissive to Master. Hoping if he is pleased maybe he won't swing as hard. Mind you...I am a pain slut and I tend to want more after he's done with me no matter how much he gives me. Tonight Revenge of the Sith is on one of our movie channels. We are planning to have an Anakin/padme night like we did last year. We will get into our Star Wars role playing and have some fun. There's going to be a hard bamboo caning coming up and I will be spending my evening serving him in every way. I can't wait! It's been a great weekend for us so far. :) I have been wanting to do this meme for a while from mel. So I am going to give it a try. I am not tagging anyone but if you try it out please let me know. I'd love to come see your answers to it. :) I've Never French-Kissed A Member Of The Opposite Sex. False. I've Never French-Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex. False. I've Never Had Sex With A Member Of The Opposite Sex. False. I've Never Had Sex With a Member Of the Same Sex.False. I've Never Had A Three-Some. False. I've Never Been In Love. False. I've Never Had Sex In A Public Place. False. I've Never Had Group Intercourse. True (I'd like to) I've Never Been Spanked. False. I've Never Been Tied Up. False. I've Never Regretted Having Sex With Someone. True. I've Never Made Out With A Stranger. False. I've Never Gone On A Blind Date. False. I've Never Had A Crush On A Teacher or Professor. False. I've Never Slept With A Co-Worker. True. I've Never Had Sex At The Office. False. I've Never Been Married. False. I've Never Been Divorced. False. I've Never Had Sex With More Than One Person Within The Same Week. False. I've Never Posed Nude. False . I've Never Watched Porn. False. I've Never Gotten Someone Drunk Just To Have Sex With Them. True. I've Never Received Scars From My Sex Partner. False. I've Never Had Sex At A Friend's House While They Were Throwing A Party. False. I've Never Had Sex In A Dressing Room. True (sounds like fun!) I've Never Flashed Anyone. False. I've Never Met Anyone From Online. False. I've Never Cheated On My Significant Other. False. I've Never Masturbated. False. I've Never Used A Sex Toy On Myself. False. I've Never Used A Sex Toy On Someone Else. False. I've Never Danced On A Table Or Bar. False. I've Never Strip-Teased For Anyone. False. I've Never Received A Rim Job. True. I've Never Given A Rim Job. True. I've Never Received A Hand Job. False. I've Never Given A Hand Job. False. I've Never Had Sex In A Hammock. True (sounds like fun!) I've Never Performed Oral Sex. False. I've Never Received Oral Sex. False. I've Never Had Anal Sex. False. I've Never Had Sex involving a strapon. True (sounds like fun!) I've Never Given/Recieved a Golden shower. False. I've Never Had Sex With Someone While Fantasizing About Having Sex With Someone Else. False. I've Never Had A Sex Dream. False. I've Never Had An Orgasm By Myself. False. I've Never Had An Orgasm With/By Someone Else. False. I've Never Had Phone Sex. False. I've Never Had Cyber Sex. False. I've Never Role-Played. False. I've Never Played Strip Poker. False. May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: vampire wine, bamboo caning, meme, blogging, Journey to the Darkside

Friday fun with a bad girl

I tried to get a blog post this morning but blogger seemed to be having some problems. I am glad I am able to post before going out tonight. I am deeply aroused right now. I woke up wet. Who wants to come over and have some Friday fun with a bad girl? One who is wanting to be spanked hard. Who is craving the paddle against her ass. One who is hoping for some fun today. I have a big night cumming up and I am so excited about it. Thinking of what's going to happen tonight is making me beyond horny. A close friend has also helped with my mood to get even hornier. I have been chatting to Stiletto Girl most of the morning. We had lots of talk about fantasies and I told her about wreck beach. She told me about her Brazilian wax she's going to have done. I admit that I really want to get this done. I've always wondered what it would be like to go down on a woman with a wax job. What does it feel like? I would love so advice or others to let me know how it feels. Master has been talking for a while about taking me in to get one done. I'm so nervous. :) My sis, schiava is away today as it's a holiday in Italy. She did send me a kinky card. Thanks sis!! It was a hot one. Got me very wet. I missed talking to her today. I know she has a big weekend cumming up and I can't wait to hear all about it. I've had a few comments about my sis. I just wanted to respond to some of them in my blog post. I do not speak Italian. I am trying to learn. I hope to know more before visiting my sis. She did have a english blog but found it too hard to keep up with two blogs. So the english one was deleted. She translates the blog posts to me. She doesn't translate the comments. I would have stuck up for my sis but she told me to ignore the bad comments and I also don't know exactly what was said. I just know the negative comments upset her. I stand up for the people closest to me. I feel badly for my sis. Maybe she's right and it's best to ignore people like that. I wanted to say something but my sis stopped me. I feel so close to her right now. She knows me like no one else and she has become very important in my life. There is nothing I wouldn't do for my sis. Or for Stiletto Girl too. Both women are close in my life both on and off the blogs. :) SG stood up for me this morning with a ghost of my past. I appreciate her being there like she has. Friends stick up for one another. I really feel close to her and my sis right now. :) Master has had me on orgasm denial all week due to my punishment. Tonight I am hoping he will let me cum. I am ready to explode today!! I want to get out the vibrator. I am sweetly suffering as Master would say. I am so wet. It's mid cycle for me and I feel so deeply aroused. I was telling SG about my times at wreck beach, a nude beach near UBC in Vancouver. I've gone there a few times. I love to feel the sun against my naked body. The first time I went I was pregnant with my daughter. I was also in the gay pride parade a few years ago. I enjoyed making out with nikki in it. It's a good memory for me. I love going downtown. I hope we can make it there tonight. Master has told me I will not know the plans and to prepare for him making all decisions about tonight. I must just obey. He already wrote me a strict e-mail detailing different rules for me for tonight. No panties rule is on for tonight. I can't wait!! Tonight we have a overnight. No kid's all night. Our son is going to a birthday and Master's parent's are taking him overnight for us. So we are heading to Burnaby or downtown Vancouver. Master says he is still deciding. We might try to do some sex store shopping too. I hope we can hit Love Nest tonight. I love their selection in the store. There are so many toys I would love to get. I can't wait. He's told me we will be taking the camera. If the weather is nice we are going to try to do some outdoor play and get some great photos for close friends's and this blog. Does anyone want the details of tonight? *winks* I'd like to congratulate bonnie on reaching a big milestone on her blog. 500,000 hits! Way to go bonnie. You have a wonderful blog. I'm very happy for you. We have almost reached 300,000. I really feel good about this blog and hope to add lots more stories and exciting blog posts for our readers. Thank you to all our readers for their continued support and encouragement. It means a lot to Master and I both. I am very proud of this blog and how far we have come. :) I want to say happy birthday to k! It's his birthday tommorow. I am planning to send him a e-card. I hope everyone will stop by and say happy birthday to him! :) I feel like I am waiting for tonight. I can hardly wait!! He told me I am getting spanked and fucked hard tonight....ohhhhhhhh. Makes me into a naughty girl just thinking about it. The public play we will have and the fun times tonight. My computer chair is getting soaked thinking of the different ways he can tease me out in public or maybe spank me. Is anyone else horny right now? Anyone else going to play tonight? Anyone else getting spanked tonight?? Anyone else waiting for tonight?? Does everyone like the pictures I put up? I put one of my ass with bad girl written on it. Cause I can be a bad girl sometimes. I am wearing my naughty school girl skirt. Seems to show off my ass nicely. The other is a photo from the movie, Showgirls. I would love to be giving a strip show right now for the readers. *winks* Anyone want to see that?? Come have some naughty fun with a bad girl who needs a spanking!! :) Master Anakin, I can't wait for tonight, Master. I hope Darth wants to cum out and play with me. I am hoping for a lot of rough play and kinky sex for tonight. I love our overnights and time together. Nothing could ruin this mood I am in right now. So horny...needy...slutty.....ohhhh please cum home soon.... Love Your horny slave girl, padme xxoxoxoxoxox May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Happy HNT!!

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) to everyone! How's everyone today? I have had a rough few days. I know I need to go work out on the punching bag this morning. I feel a lot of anger over some negative comments on two blogs of people who are my closest friends. I feel emotional over my own stuff the last few days. Stiletto Girl needs a lot of support right now. She's going through a very difficult time. I've tried to be there the last few days for her. I know what it's like to have to let go of someone you love. The poly can have wonderful times but also some really painful times too. I've said goodbye to a few people that I have loved. Saying goodbye to nikki hurt me so deeply that I went into isolation and a major depression for over a year. I often wonder if her and I would still be friends if we hadn't slept together. I really understand what SG is going through right now. I wish more people would show support for her. I really get upset that people can't be respectful of her painful time right now. My sis, schiava also has gotten some very negative comments about her latest blog post about breath control. Do people not get that when we blog, we let people get a glimpse into our lives? A blog is like a livingroom. You let people in. Would you really talk that way to someone's face? It's hard to truly know someone from their blog. I know Master got a nasty e-mail recently from someone calling him an asshole. How can someone make judgements just from reading a blog? SG and my sis are two of the most wonderful women that I know and I adore them both. I really feel angry this morning that they are not getting the respect they deserve. My sis has a big weekend ahead and I can't wait to hear details about it on Monday. What does everyone think of the HNT photo? Master decided on this photo and did some photoshop editing. I love it. You get a good look at my ass in an artistic, erotic way. I was laying there ready ready to accept Master's punishment. You can get a glimpse into my naughty nature. I have been told I am on orgasm denial til this weekend. We are getting another overnight. Master's parent's want to take our son to a birthday that will be ending late so they will be keeping him. So we get to have some alone time this weekend. I can't wait. I hope some lurkers can say hello today or comment on the picture. Master worked on this photo for a while last night. I'm so proud of his photos. Great job Master! I really love this photo and I hope others do too! I love the lingerie he turned blue. It's a pale pink but I think the blue is a beautiful color. I love how Master is able to capture moments with his camera. :) Last night the kids were asleep. He came downstairs and I could see him holding something but he was in the kitchen and the lighting was dark. I was dressed in my Bad Kitty nightshirt and no panties and fresh from my bath. I was watching some TV and half asleep. He was wearing only his Corona boxers which I love on him. I noticed his upper body showing a bit more tone from the last few hard work outs. He came into the livingroom holding his Miller Genuine Draft beer in one hand and his black leather belt in the other. All I can say is WOW!!! What a sight. I got nervous. "Why did you bring your belt down, Master?" I ask. "Why do you think, bitch?" he says in that Darth tone I know so well. He looks at me into my eyes and patted the couch. I'm on the loveseat at the time. "Come hither," he says with a sadistic grin. I go over and he pushes the straps of my Bad Kitty nightshirt aside. He uses that belt of his on my erect nipples. He straps them and then teases them. Starts to lick them. Then he uses the belt to strap them hard. Then squeezes again. The nipple torture goes right to my wet pussy. He uses his fingers to get me excited. He climbs on top of me and pulled off his boxers and quickly puts his hard cock into me. I wanted him badly. I was crave his touch and body. I could smell beer on his breathe. He fucks me hard and long and squeezes my neck a few times doing the breath control which I love. He cums with a moan and tells me ... "I own you, bitch. Don't ever forget that." He pinches my pussy lips. Tells me he is done and we're going to bed. I was told to get to bed with a swat on my ass. No orgasms for me until this weekend. I am sweetly suffering and wanting to cum so badly today but I know I must wait. He decides. I cum when he tells me to cum. I suffer sexually if he wants me to. I am his. We have a total power exchange. Many not understand it but it's how we work. He controls my orgasms, my time, my life. He once made me wait weeks before we were married. I was on orgasm denial so long that on my wedding night I literally exploded. I came 5 times. I have never been so excited in my life. I am very sexual and love to cum. It's hard to even go a week for me. I wanted to mention that Master is in control of not only my life but this blog. All decisions about this blog go to him. He makes the final decision to add or delete a link. He wants some comments to come to this blog or at least for me to be reading the blogs on the list. All photos are decided by him. He chose this photo last night and left it up for me to put in. Master has gotten very controlling since Master R has left the picture. He's started to work out again and taking his protein shakes to build his muscles. He is cracking down on the control. His sex drive has gone through the roof. I feel constantly horny and surprised by the little ways he's been controlling me. I am sweetly suffering and wanting to cum so badly for him today. My force is through Master. My submission to him is so overwhelming. I want to suffer for him. I want to be spanked hard by him. I need Master...I need my Darth Vader. May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: HNT, nipple torture, orgasm denial, poly, breath control