Goodbye my love

For our HNT photo and our announcement and information about our star wars spanking party this Sunday...please read the blog post before this one. I wasn't going to say anything on this blog but decided to write a few feelings out and let people know about something that has happened in my life. I got the final confirmation this morning in a e-mail from schiava. She made it very clear by the title of it "The End". It was direct and it was the end of a chapter in my life. I am not sure by the sounds of that e-mail I will hear from her again. I think there are too many hurt feelings on both sides. I met schiava when I was going through a difficult time. She made her way into my heart. I fell in love with her. My feelings were real. I know she doubts my feelings now but I really do love her. I am hurt and so sad that we had to end. Having a long distance internet relationship with someone across the world is too difficult to maintain. She had only limited time for me and was at work when we did chat so there were many interruptions. We only talked a few times on the phone due to long distance and language problems. The chances of meeting were slim to none. Italy is a very far away place. The time zones suck. The distance sucked. The language problems sucked. We have grown apart through the summer. We both had different things going on in our lives. I needed to be honest with her. She was honest with me. And now we move on in different directions. schiava, You told me you were not going to read my blog anymore so you might not even get this message but if you do...please know that my feelings were real for you. I love you very much. We both hurt each other and we both drifted apart. I wish you the best and care so much for you. I hope we can keep in touch but if you don't, I understand. There are two lines from a song from James Blunt that touch me... And as you move on, remember me, Remember us and all we used to be I will always remember you, schiava. You will always be a part of my heart... padme There is a lot of sadness in my heart today. I have felt a lot of loss this month. I lost my friend, Master Mark when he passed away. My sister and I are also not talking right now due to family issues. And now...schiava and I are over. I am very sad today... May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Happy HNT-Hawaiian Memories and an announcement!

Happy HNT! I am putting my photo up early this week. (click on it to enlarge). Last weekend I did a blog post about nude beaches and about my holiday when I was 18 years old in Hawaii. I met a guy on my trip and had an amazing sexual experience on the beach in Waikiki. I had my first skinnydipping experience also and loved it. My friend, mary shared a similar experience she had in the comments for that post. I know that anyone who's been to Hawaii knows how magical and romantic it is. After writing the post I was going through my closet and came across some old photo albums. I saw the special Hawaii one from that trip and I couldn't resist taking a peek. It's been years since I looked at those pictures. Writing that blog post made me remember that time in my life. I had just dyed my hair a deeper shade of red and had bought that sexy blue bathing suit just for our trip to Hawaii. I was 18 and didn't want to do the family stuff so I often went off on my own exploring the Island. M was my tour guide. We visited Pearl Harbor together and many beautiful parts of the Island. At nights going drinking at the clubs. He got me in even though I was underage. I opened the album earlier this week and looked through the different pictures. I saw this one and took it and showed it to Master. I think it's a very sexy photo of me taken on Waikiki beach, the same one I was with M. I asked him to scan it for me and sent it to a few friend's. Then we decided to put it up for HNT this week. Master put in the Aloha to make it look like a postcard. I want to go back to Hawaii one day. I have told Master many stories of how beautiful it is there. Anyone else besides mary and I who have Hawaiian stories to share? I had an incredible body at 18. I was wearing a pretty revealing bathing suit. This was before I had my children so there are no stretch marks or saggy skin. I was in my prime during that year. I had started college that year. It was our last family trip. It's one of my happier memories of my childhood. I feel deeply in love with that guy, M. He was so cute and handsome. I have one photo of him and I and I was looking at that one the other day. I often wonder what ever happened to him. Did he fuck all the tourists? He met me selling my Dad tickets to Don Ho. Maybe it was his way to meet women. I hope you enjoy this photo for HNT. What does everyone think? Please give some feedback. I have never put a bathing suit photo up before so this is my first one. I hope everyone is enjoying all the new changes we have put into our blog for our one year blogging anniversary here at Journey to the Darkside. Master is starting Ask Anakin which is a chance for everyone to ask him questions. Please leave a comment or e-mail him at anakins.blog@gmail.com with your questions. Learn more about the man behind the Darth mask. :) We want this to become a series for this blog. We are going to be doing a spanking story contest here at Journey to the Darkside too. Time to get creative. Think of a fantasy spanking for Master and I to act out. The winner will get their story listed on our blog with full credit and lots of photos (more than the blog) of the spanking I will be receiving. You decide how many strokes I get. And with what instrument. What panties (must be panties I have already) I wear and what outfit (schoolgirl, lingerie, black rubber etc..) I will be wearing for this fantasy. We plan to take video and pictures of the spanking. I know many of you want to spank me. Here's your chance virtually. Write a hot story about the spanking I will receive. Think about it...we hope to get lots of stories from everyone!! Stay tuned for when this starts... We are making a announcement for our HNT this week!! In celebration of our one year blogging anniversary we are having another Star Wars spanking party!! THIS Sunday, Sept. 3rd at 6 pm PST/9 pm EST!! This time we will be watching Episode IV-A New Hope. I admit I havn't watched this one as much as Revenge of the Sith or other ones but I am really looking forward to watching it with everyone. We plan to do a countdown this time to when the movie starts to try to get everyone together watching it at the same time. There was some confusion last time for the first bit of where everyone was at during the movie. I am hoping Spitfire will provide the music after the movie for the party. Bring your drinks. I'll be bringing merlot *smiles at Spitfire* The last one was a really fun time. If you are only able to drop by, please come by and say hello. I know some people are busy that night with different things. Last time the party went til almost midnight our time. Sunday will be dedicated again to Star Wars. I will be putting up more trivia and Star Wars stuff for my blog post. Everyone is invited!! You just need yahoo chat to be able to come in during the conference chats. my yahoo is padmesavtar. Please try to do this early if you are not on my yahoo list. Bring your snacks!! We plan to have some for that night. I will be getting spanked that night for the party. We enjoy bringing the bloggers together for a party!! We had so much fun at the last one. Please join us on Sunday night!! Dust off the Star wars-A new hope or rent it and let's all get together for a virtual party!! Whoo hoo!! I might just get my vibrator out like last time too. *winks* I get horny when I am getting my spankings and drinking merlot. Let's make it a party to remember!! Please announce this party on your blogs!! Spread the word!! I want to make this a BIGGER party then last time!! I'm asking for everyone's help to make this a success!! The long weekend looks like it's going to be a good one!! I am meeting a beautiful woman for drinks on Friday night. Master R's other slave, amber and I are meeting for the first year in years. Maybe my 4 year dry spell will finally be over. I am craving a woman's body right now. A need in me so deep....ohhhhhhh is there a woman out there having that same craving? Perhaps a beautiful texan hottie who wants to have a merlot night??? *winks* padme is horny!! Look out!! May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: HNT, spanking party, Ask Anakin, bisexual, Journey to the Darkside, Star Wars, skinnydipping, Hawaii, Star Wars spanking party

Changes on the Journey

I wanted to put up a picture today of our first header from Journey to the Darkside. It reminds me of how we began and where we are today. Journey to the Darkside is celebrating it's one year anniversary this week and we are very excited about it!! It's a big milestone for us and we are hoping to make some changes to this blog for the anniversary week. There are a few surprises in store for everyone in the next few weeks. Master was up late last night making changes to the header and some other changes on the blog. I think it's the best header we have had so far!! We also changed the title music to the Original Star Wars theme. This music always brings back good memories for me of watching the Star wars as a kid. We have a few videos we hope to put up in the next few weeks. We hope you enjoy all the new changes. We would love your feedback. What do you think?? It's hard to believe it's almost a year since we started our blog. I wasn't sure about doing one but someone convinced me to start it. It was hard to get our blog off the ground. We had a lot to learn. Many people wouldn't link to us as we were too new and we only had a few people coming to our blog. I remember one day getting 60 hits and that seemed like a really big deal. I was timid in my writing. I was afraid to express myself. I went back through the archives recently and realized just how far I have come with my writing and being able to open up on this blog. Master has learned so much about photoshop and HTML and erotic photography. He is so interested that he is hoping to get into some classes for this and maybe have a future in it. The blog has bonded us and enabled a lot of communication for us. We have met some terrific people in our journey so far. We have done 508 blog posts in a year!! We have had over 550,000 hits in that same year! We've had people from all over the world visit Journey. Our stats have gone from less than 60 to almost 4,000 hits in a day sometimes! We have put up the first HNT with a video instead of a picture. We have put long hours into our blog posts and pictures. We hope you have enjoyed the journey so far as much as we have. We had a few negative experiences too on this journey. As fellow bloggers know, when you open yourselves up on a blog, you open yourself up to both praise and criticism. We had some pictures stolen and someone hacked into our blog at one point. There were many moments both Master and I considered giving up on Journey to the Darkside. There were moments I was very excited like getting in the top 3 blog posts for sugasm. There have been moments I have cried over, as in the frustration of a bad blog review. There has also been positive feedback too and that has made a lot of difference in wanting to continue and improve this blog. I appreciate all the comments and support from everyone! I've made some wonderful friendships through this blog. I don't feel so alone anymore. We wanted a fresher blog for our anniversary and to head in exciting directions for this next year ahead. Master and I have big plans for this blog and for our future. We celebrate ten years this November together. We are hoping to take more erotic photos and more videos and maybe for me to get into spanking movies. We have many ideas and we'll surely have some surprises in store for our readers, so stay tuned!! The journey will continue and will only get better! Some ideas for this blog that we want to share with people: 1) We are launching this week a new series for Master Anakin to become more a part of this blog. We want to become a real couple's blog where we share in the blog posts. We are starting Ask Anakin this week. We are asking for everyone's help with this. Ask Master Anakin any questions you might have for him through comments or through his e-mail anakins.blog@gmail.com. He wont give out any personal information but he will happily answer any questions you have for him on Star Wars or spanking or erotic photography or anything else you are curious about. It's your chance to get to know him a bit better. This will hopefully become a regular weekly blog post for Master. A chance to answer all your questions. So who will go first and ask him a question? He's a Dom with ten years experience and has learned a lot on his journey. Please help us get this series off the ground!! :) 2) We are thinking of going a spanking story contest. I really want to get more stories in our stories section. I'm asking everyone to get creative and come up with a hot spanking fantasy for us to act out for you and this blog. What do you think? 3) We want to do another Star wars spanking party!! The last one was a huge success. This time we will watch the Original Star wars movie and chat on yahoo in the yahoo conference chat. I am thinking of doing the party this Sunday Sept. 3rd?? It's our labor day long weekend and our daughter is away and we are able to get sitting that day for our son. Is that enough notice? Please give me feedback on this!! Who can make it this Sunday for a Star wars spanking party and watch the Original Star wars movie (Episode IV-A New Hope) ?? I need to know right away if this day works and enough people can come to it and we will plan for it!! This party would also be to celebrate our one year anniversary at Journey to the Darkside. I plan to do some Star Wars trivia and more for the party. Please let me know if Sunday works for you by e-mail or comment. Let's plan for this!! I can't wait til our next party!! I'll make sure there's no heavy play the night before either so my bottom is good and ready for some spanking!! *winks* :) There are many changes for Journey to the Darkside and I am so happy to be sharing this with everyone!! Thanks for making Journey to the Darkside a success!! I'm in a VERY kinky mood today. I'm horny and wet. I need a spanking!! I would love to play right now. But...I have made a commitment today to my friend, S to go to her daughter's birthday party and to spend some time with her. We have really drifted apart and we want to catch up and get our friendship back on track. I'm going to her place this afternoon for the first time since my stag party. It's been a while and I am looking forward to it. We plan to chit chat the afternoon away like the old days. I hope everyone is enjoying the Journey....please give us any feedback and any ideas you might have for the future of this blog...let's make this an exciting journey!! May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: spanking party, ask Anakin, spanking, Journey to the Darkside, Star Wars, erotic photography, blogging, spanking videos

A Change in the Seasons

I can feel a change in the sesons. Fall is approaching. Back to school time. Lots of changes happening. I admit I am struggling with a few things right now. I planned to come on here and write about the details of Saturday and my overnight with him. I just don't feel up to it. I have a few things going on and decided to just come on here and write today. How come only a few people commented on Master's post yesterday? We had a lot of people lurking. I want to thank my bro for being there yesterday. Master asked people if they wanted another Star Wars spanking party. Only a few people responded. I thought we did a great job on that party last time. Master is trying to find out how many people are interested. I thought it was a great time. I have decided to hand over more of this blog to Master. I like to see his writing. Even if there are few comments, I love his writing. Master has been published before. He's a excellent writer. I think he's got a lot of experiences to write about. This blog is about us. He's a important part of the blog. I want to thank him for a excellent job on the photo he put up and took. He dreams of being a photographer and I know he can do it!! I know he has a lot of talent as a writer. I believe in him!! I am a "stand by your man" type of woman. My ex is where he is today thanks to a lot of support from me in our early years. He's now running a successful business. How many men have had two women before?? He was a Master to nikki and I both. I am hoping one day he might open up about those years. I am curious to know his feelings on it. He's come a long way in ten years as a Dom. He's learned to open up more and share me on a level that most men couldn't. He's learned to mentally Dom me as much as physically. He knows me like no one else. Knows how far to push me and how I will respond. Sexually ...we are electric!! I love our sex life together. I have the biggest orgasms in my life from Master and we share a very kinky and fun and romantic life together. I am a really lucky slave girl. :) Saturday was wonderful. Master and I spent the day together and then came back for the UFC fights and a lot of play. I have many details to share about that sometime. Yesterday I felt very low though. The crash from the play was extreme. Master used his whip on me Saturday night. I begged him to. We are in a TPE relationship. I don't want limits in our relationship. I like to play at a heavy level with the bdsm. I have feared that whip and yet fantasized about it. It went a lot better on Saturday with the whip play. I'll write about that sometime. Yesterday I felt like I was crashing and trying to deal with all the changes happening in my life. I feel so much distance with a few people in my life. I feel like I have drifted apart from my sis, schiava recently. We have chatted about ten minutes this whole month. We last talked on the phone back on her birthday. I don't remember the last time we had a playful chat. I am realizing that this fall we won't be able to spend much time together either. My son is starting kindergarden. He's in the morning's and I have agreed to help out in the classroom. So I won't be on the computer much in the morning's when schiava is on the computer. Time zones sucks. Distance sucks. I am not sure what is going to happen with us. I have had someone from my past come back into my life and also a new friend. I met a friend through collarme.com. She is just around the corner from me and we have a lot in common. I am really craving friend's who live close by and I can get together with. My best friend, S and I have really drifted apart the last few months and she doesn't know about my lifestyle. S phoned me to apologize yesterday. She feels bad we havn't seen each other very much this summer or talked. I honestly don't know about our friendship and the future of it. We have little in common now and she has 6 kid's. Getting together with her is always a circus. Babies screaming and teenagers swearing. Her house is always a huge mess. She comes to mine and I can tell she doesn't understand my life. We still get responses to our ads at collarme.com and alt.com but nothing has worked out so far. I'd love to make one friend from there. Master and I are on a poly relationship also and we hope to make some play friend's. Master R is still a play friend. We have had some good talks lately about playing together. Maybe even this weekend.... Master R's other slave, amber is coming to Vancouver this weekend. She has not visited in years. She phoned me yesterday. We share a lot of history and also have served the same Master, Master R. We havn't talked on the phone in almost a year. She wants to meet me for a drink this weekend. Master R is hoping to arrange some kinky fun with us all. Who knows. We are in the discussion phase of it right now. I miss her a lot in my life and we share a history. She is the first woman I ever kissed. I had bisexual feelings for years and I danced with other women sexually but it wasn't til amber that I experienced my first kiss. We were in Seattle and I walked her to her car. She leaned over and gave me the most passionate kiss out in the public. Sparks flew. We met a few other times but nothing sexually happened othen kissing and some making out. She is very submissive. I am also very submissive. I think there is a real need in me to find a more dominant woman in my life. I told amber once that two subs in the room don't really know what to do with themselves. They need to be guided by the Dom. I was asked once to have a threesome with her and Master R but I declined. I was a bit upset my Master wasn't invited and was still getting to know Master R. I was still learning the ropes at the time. I had a crush on amber for years but she moved far away and we started to lose touch. She's very excited about seeing Master R. They are planning to play. I don't think Master R wants to retire from being a Dom. It's all so tempting for him. It's been 4 years since I was with a woman. I really want to feel that again. I want to feel a woman's skin and kiss her sweet lips. I am nervous about the weekend coming up and wondering what might happen. I've changed a lot since she last saw me. There are so many changes right now. I am on a strict diet and exercise rountine. I plan to go work out with the boxing downstairs after writing this. I have caught up on my blog reading. I am a bit curious why many of the blogs I comment on don't seem to comment back on my blog. I am slowly giving up on a few bloggers that don't comment here. Master and I are doing a lot of work on this blog. You'll notice a few changes in the Fall too. We are hoping to make our own spanking movie. This is a huge dream for me. My late friend, Master Mark wanted me to star in his spanking movies but it never happened. I think we could do some really hot ones. If anyone wants to hire me for a spanking movie...please let me know? I am in the best shape on my life and I have a high pain tolerance. I love to be spanked!! Spank me. Whip me. Crop me. Cane me. I can take it all!! The Journey will continue and stay tuned for lots of hot photos and new stories and adventures!! I am very excited as we approach our one year anniversary. I went back into my archives yesterday thanks to my bro for a really neat thing he did for Master and I. He left a comment at my first blog post! Thanks Adam!! I realized how far we have come. Thank you to the dear reader's of this blog. I would love to hear from more lurkers. I am always curious to know who is reading this blog. I miss Master today. We are stronger than ever. We have had some wonderful talks lately and shared some intense play together. I have felt his control so strongly the last week. I honestly feel like I have fallen in love with Master all over again since Phantom of the Opera. Our ten year anniversary coming up is a huge milestone. Master is discussing getting me another tattoo for him. :) We got out our old camera on Saturday and we took some really hot erotic photos. I didn't hear much feedback on the heart panties one? I loved dressing up for Master and doing some role playing. So who wants the details of Saturday? Fall is my favorite season. I love Halloween the most!! My birthday is just around the corner. I have decided to embrace the changes and look to the future!! May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: changes, bisexual, spanking, darkside, threesome, spanking actress, spanking model, spanking party

Sex, violence, and other sweet sensations

My padme's woken up to a sore ass today; it was sweet when she winced as she sat up on the edge of the bed this morning. She winced, then she smiled. This little vignette showing much of her sweet heart and who we are. My bad girl, my good girl, my demon, my angel, my padme. her pain as an echo, a remaining physical sensation to a night of heavy play and lingering emotional pleasure. How I'm enjoying savoring my recollection of the night we shared, going over in my mind each swing of the whip, each touch, each thrust and moan. This photo that I put up today is from last night. My padme wearing her sweet girlish heart panties for me. She was dressed pretty in pink with these panties. I couldn't resist taking a few hot photos last night. We also have a very hot HNT for this Thursday so stay tuned for that. I'm sure that padme will be able to recount for you more details of our night soon, but I thought that I'd share the night with everyone today. I've got padme working on a list of chores, and I have my own work ahead of me. As such, padme wont be on the computer today; now if only I had a french maid outfit for her, or perhaps a Cinderella costume. Her collar will always do, of course. Last night I took my girl out for lunch yesterday; we saw a wedding in an old country church on a perfect, late sunny day. It reminded me of how much I love my padme, my soulmate, that every day is a gift, the march of time, that every day is at best a reafirmation through our actions and inactions of our character. Not every day is a wedding, not every day is a funeral, not every day is the first day or the best day or even worth remembering; but it's a day, and for me, it's with the one I love, and so it's a gift, it's a wedding, it's an earthbound moment of heaven through my dark soul and my dark angel, padme. We can stand still, and in the moment the world rushes around us in a blur, flows through us, unstoppable time; and as soon as we touch the moment, it is gone. We watched the Ultimate Fighting Championship mixed martial arts competition last night on pay per view. My favorite fighter, Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell won his fight in just 95 seconds. He seemed to lack the intensity and the hard edge and intense stare of the fighter he faced off with. But it only goes to show that one should not presume that a calm exterior means a lack of heart; or that outward displays of "Domliness" mean inner strength; I am sometimes the calm waters running deep, a master of my emotions, but I know when to let loose the anger and the fury. During the UFC fights they announced an upcoming fight: Tito Ortiz will take on Ken Shamrock for a final fight on October 10th on Spike TV, live and for free. Many UFC fans felt cheated when Tito dispatched Ken so quickly; it was over before it began. These two men truly hate each other; we all wanted a longer fight, we wanted more, and we're now going to get it! Be sure to tune in! We rented a porno after the UFC fights; I was all pumped up and had my Mixed Martial Arts fighting gloves on. The pleasures of the flesh, the pleasure of watching controlled violence on television, of trading pain for pleasure with padme. It was a hedonistic night. I chose a porno on Video on Demand that sounded good and I got the whip out and gave padme some attention. The porno was called "Boobs of Hazard County"; well, loving Daisy Duke it sounded great to me. As it turned out, the video was an all women cast, which, while a surprise, didn't bother me one bit! There was even some light bondage and spanking of a very cute thing in the back of a van; can't usually get that on TV so we were quite happy with that; so sweet! It definitely worked for padme too. What a night it all lead to! I'll leave the rest to padme to share after her chores. We're considering having another Star Wars spanking party where everyone can again join us in a yahoo chat and watch the same episode of Star Wars. A sort of virtual movie / spanking party with a bunch of our friends. We'd like to hear from everyone who's interested in us hosting another party (we'll provide the virtual snacks of course). The last party was such a wild, fun time with the live audio spankings and conversation, well, we have to ask who wants some more? May the Force be with you. ~ Anakin Technorati Tags: UFC, whip, spanking, Journey to the Darkside

Fight Night Tonight!!

It's fight night!! Yeah!! We have a countdown going on our computer right now for tonight's fights. Right now it's at 7 hours and 22 minutes until it starts. I am so excited!! Master is downstairs working out right now. Getting all pumped up with his mixed martial arts gloves against the punching bag. I love to see him sweat and get all worked up!! His favorite fighter is fighting tonight, Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell!! He's fighting "Babalu" tonight in UFC 62. I am really looking forward to Griffin vs. Bonnar 2. The first fight between those two men was legendary. It should be a very exciting night!! I put up a picture of the UFC ring girls too. I like to watch the UFC for many different reasons but I really enjoy watching the ring girls too. There are some beautiful women with tight firm bodies on there. There's also always some Hollywood stars in the audience watching and it's cool to see them. So who else will be watching the fight tonight live at Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas? Are there any other fans out there? Any predictions for tonight's fights?? Master and I really enjoy watching the Ultimate Fighter tv show too. Right now we are watching Ultimate Fighter 4! I have always enjoyed boxing and recently really got into the UFC and the whole mixed martial arts scene about a year and a half ago. I love it!! We call the UFC fights our "fight night". We treat ourselves to a few goodies and treats. We make it a big night. We almost always have a very intense play night afterwards. Sometimes we even spar with each other. Tonight we got a overnight for our son and our daughter is at my ex's. So no kid's all night. We are planning to go out for a nice dinner and then come back to some low fat brownies and a few treats and get ready for our fight night. Master has promised me a spanking I won't forget for a few days. He has told me I need some attention on my ass. I am craving this right now. I can't wait!! I wrote a story about a UFC fighter, Andrei Arlovski. If you havn't read it, check it out and please let me know what you think. I'd like to write another story about Tito Ortiz. I have some fantasies of being sent to his training camp. I know he would whip me into shape very fast. :) I got invited to go to Sin City in Vancouver today with Single Gal. I really wanted to go but tonight isn't a good night with the UFC night. Master has promised me to go one day. It's a fetish night downtown. I hope she has a fun time. I'll be thinking about her tonight! Maybe next time. :) We watched a very spooky movie last night, Silent Hill. I was creeped out and had a hard time sleeping last night. Master and I cuddled up for it and I thought it was very scary!! It's based on the series of Silent Hill games which we have played before. If you are looking for a scary movie tonight...it's a good one!! :) It's not your standard horror film. I hope everyone has a really good night. I know I am very excited and hope Chuck wins and also Stephan Bonnar! Go Chuck Go!! May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: UFC, UFC 62, Chuck Liddell, Babalu, ring girls, sin city

Nude Beach

I admit it. I love the beach and ocean. I have been at a nude beach before. It's a little secret I keep from many people in my life. I love being nude at the beach. It started when I was 18. I was going to college at the time. Master and I were just beginning our friendship. I had broken up with my boyfriend and gone to Hawaii with my family. I had my first experience with skinny dipping and being nude at the beach. I love skinny dipping and the feel of the water surrounding my young tight body. I met a man on that trip. Blonde hair and blue eyes. I was in the prime of my life. I had lost my virginity only months earlier. I dyed my hair for the first time red. I am a natural red head but this made my hair a deep shade of red. I had gotten a body wave right before going on the trip and had some tanning sessions to get ready for the sun. We stayed there for two weeks at a condo half a block from the Waikiki Beach. It was our last family trip before I moved out of my house. I was old enough to go off on my own and I met a really good looking guy selling tickets to Don ho. My Dad bought some tickets and they left but I stayed behind to talk to this guy. I was instantly attracted to him. I didn't have a lot of experience with men so I was happy he took the lead. We went out on a few dates. He snuck me into a few bars even though I was underage for drinking. I fell in love. It was I believe the first time I really felt like that. I had boyfriends but not like him. One night after some pizza and a few beers we went walking down the Waikiki beach. The warm ocean air coming in on us...the waves crashing against the shore...the feel of love and innocence. I was wearing my Hawaiian dress I had bought earlier in the day. He was dressed in his yuppy shorts and red shirt. He took control on the beach. He lifted my dress and took down my panties and climbed on me and fucked me. We only shared one night together but it was a very intense sexual experience for me. He was a experienced lover. We could have been caught but we weren't. He wanted me to go skinny dipping with him afterwards so we took off our clothes and went into the ocean. I loved walking around nude on one of the most famous beach's around. It was a magical time in my life. I was a naughty girl even at 18 years old. I have one picture of that guy. I still remember that feeling I had. I felt like a real woman after that experience. He promised to keep in touch but after a few letters we lost contact. I often wonder about him. Master knows my love for fucking on the beach. I have fucked him on our honeymoon on the Harrison Hot Springs lake beach. We could have been caught at any moment but we didn't care. I have also been to a few nude beaches. There is a new nude beach in White Rock now. I am planning to go very soon to it. I love Wreck Beach. I started going during my pregnancy with my daughter. We put up a picture of my nude body with a different background for the HNT last week. It had red velvet and a black background. Master changed it again to put up a beach background. It's called Daddy's boots. :) The background of this photo is the White Rock Beach Pier. It's one of my favorite beaches. I heard they have a nude section now at the beach. I feel very comfortable with my body. It's the exhibitionist in me. I love to show off my body. Here is a link for listings of clothing optional beaches. So who else loves to go to nude beaches? If so, which one did you go to? I would love to hear about it! I also put up a picture for UFC 62 which is tommorow night!! Master has arranged another overnight for the night so we can watch the fights and then play. It's rare to get two overnights in a week so I am very excited about it. Master has told me I am getting a hard spanking tommorow night!! I can't wait!! We call it "fight night" and it's a big deal when the UFC fights are on!! We rent from pay per view and we get very into the fights. I hope Chuck wins!! Go Chuck Go!! Who's watching the fight? If so, who are you cheering for?? TGIF. What is everyone's plans for the weekend? I have been busy with my housework and time with Master. I love the new rules he is enforcing. He's been so dominant this week with me. I've gotten his belt the last two days for forgetting some of the new rules. I plan to do a blog post and edit our TPE agreement for the new rules very soon. He's been so strict with me and I love it. I feel a inner peace right now. This week has been one of the best all summer. I really feel close to Master Anakin right now. I have really felt distance with others in my life. I feel a lot of changes headed my way with the Fall and back to school happening. Master has me on a special detox diet and exercise rountine right now. After writing this blog post I plan to go box and use our Elliptical trainer. I am also using a cleaner kit to clean out my body of toxins and feeling better again. You can find information for this kit at www.recleanse.com. I try to use the kit a few times a year. I find it really helps me to lose weight and feel more engergized. Does anyone else use a cleaner kit? Anyone else trying to lose a few pounds or get healthier? I am not allowed to drink alcohol or pop during this cleaning. I have cut out any red meats and sweets. I am on a strict diet and only allowed to drink water and green tea/herbal teas. I am allowed to have one cup of coffee. Master is also allowing me some low fat brownies for the UFC fight tommorow night if I am being a good girl and following the rules. He is like a trainer and many of my fantasies are around that. I dream of being sent away to Tito Ortiz for a week of training. I would love to be trained by the Huntington Beach Bad Boy!! Of course the gym I imagine is a lot kinkier. I would get spanked for not obeying his instructions and working out hard enough. Master has been "cracking the whip" lately with me and it's really helped me to focus and feel more submissive. It's a beautiful day today and my thoughts are at the beach...wishing I was at Wreck Beach or White Rock beach nude and feeling the sun of my warm skin. Who wants to rub some suntan oil all over my body?? Master...please cum home soon!!! Take me to the beach... I am craving a spanking right now. Wishing Master was home or someone could cum over and spank my ass!! I'm in a naughty girl mood....winks. :) I can still hear that Don Ho concert in Hawaii...feeling like a sexual woman and in the prime of my life...Tiny Bubbles playing in the background.. Tiny Bubbles Tiny bubbles in the wine, make me happy, make me feel fine, tiny bubbles make me warm all over with a feeling that I'm gonna love you 'til the end of time. So here's to the golden moon, and here's to the silver sea, and mostly here's a toast to you and me Tiny bubbles in the wine, make me happy, make me feel fine, tiny bubbles make me warm all over with a feeling that I'm gonna love you 'til the end of time. May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: nude, nude beach, exhibitionist, Wreck Beach, skinnydipping

Happy HNT-Flash in Stanley Park

I decided to put up my HNT blog post today with my part 2 of my Phantom of the Opera night with Master Anakin. This photo was taken on the day of the Phantom night. A day that we celebrated our love. Ten whole years together is coming up in November. It feels like a very big milestone. I feel very secure and happy in my marriage. I have put a lot of thought into this blog post that I am writing today. I am in trouble for this blog post though. I was supposed to write it yesterday but didn't get around to it. It's taking me a long time to get it written today. I have been told that I will be punished 20 with his belt tonight for taking too much time on writing this post. I'm sure many people will want to spank me too for making you wait on this blog post about our Phantom night. I'm sorry and my ass it going to get the belt tonight for making everyone wait, including Master Anakin. I had a really good talk today on the phone with Stiletto Girl. I am really glad to be friend's with her. I miss having someone to talk to about the bdsm lifestyle. I really hope one day we can meet. She's got a special place in my heart. Her birthday is coming up and I got her a card and want to mail off a small something also. I really am glad to have some close friend's in my life. My best friend, S doesn't know anyone about my lifestyle and I really feel lonely sometimes. I was really glad to catch up with her and find out how she's doing. If you havn't read part 1 please click HERE to read it. It explains what happened during our Phantom of the Opera daytime. It has lots of juicy details. We went to the PNE and then to my favorite park in Vancouver. I love Stanley Park. I've had some amazing memories there. I've been spanked in that park and fucked. I love this HNT. We can't show my face so there is sunshine there instead. We wanted to be able to show how out in the public this photo was. And how beautiful Vancouver is. You can see the Lions Gate Bridge in the background. I was told to flash my tits so I did as I was told. Anyone could have easily seen me. We were at Brockton Point and there was many people around. The seawall in Stanley Park is very busy during the summer months. A jogger came by seconds after taking the photo and I'm pretty sure he saw my tits. *giggles* I am just a naughty bad girl! I can't help it. I was very excited by this. You can see a part of one of my temporary tatoo's I put on my breast. It had flowers on it. My nipples got very erect from it. I love to flash Master whenever he wants me to. The countdown is on for the UFC 62 night coming up this Saturday. I know Master is excited about it!! Check out this website about the fight!! It's got a countdown right on there. Master and I always have play nights during the UFC nights. Master's favorite fighter, Chuck Liddell is fighting. I am looking forward to Forest Griffin is fighting Stephan Bonnar. The first fight was excellent. This should be great!! Only a few days away now! I am in a naughty mood today. I am horny and knowing that a punishment spanking coming with Master's belt is turning me on a lot. I love how controlling he has gotten with me since our Phantom night. I have new rules now. I have to hopefully add those to our TPE rules soon and do a blog post about it. He's really cracking down on me. The rules have been sliding a lot with the summer and he has called me on it. I havn't been doing my slave duties very well and keeping up with dinners on the table or housework. I am craving his control right now. I love when he controls my mind and body. When he owns my soul. He is my music of the night. I put up another photo today of some of the chocolate covered strawberries he bought me for our Phantom night. I loved them!! I love the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. I hope everyone enjoys my HNT photo of me being a naughty exhibitionist!! I love to flash my tits in public places. You can see many other HNT photos of me doing different flashes. Here is part 2 for our Phantom night. I had a wonderful day and we had sushi at one of my favorite downtown Sushi places. We went to the Sandman Hotel downtown and checked in and went up to our room. I had brought a small suitcase with the toys he instructed me to bring and my outfit for the evening. I also brought my red rose he bought me with the black ribbon around it. I spent a hour getting ready for the Phantom of the Opera. Here is part 2... part 2-Phantom of the Opera night I felt so sexy and beautiful dressed up for him. Black velvet dress, black stockings, black garter, red lace panties he bought me from La Vie En Rose earlier in the day (they were in my purse after taking them off in the bathroom of the sushi place and masturbating) , bra and anklet and black high heels. I was to have blonde curls and look innocent but sexy. I was given instructions. I had shaved my pussy earlier in the day. I really felt like Little Miss Dangerous when I was finished. He put my pearl necklace around my neck. He was dressed in his black suit. The same one he married me in. I love it on him. He had his hair slicked back and axe cologne on that I love. He looked so dominant and sexy. I really felt proud to be his wife that evening. I saw a few women checking him out at the play. I had so many fantasies on Saturday night. We lived a few fantasies. We walked slowly together to the Queen Elizabeth Theatre. We got there an hour before the play as they were opening the doors. He bought me a glass of merlot and we headed over to corner to talk. He looked at me as the predator ready to eat the prey. I really felt his dominance through his eyes that night. I don't think I have ever felt as submissive as I did on Saturday night. I had a intense desire to please him. I felt so much love in me that night. He gave me his full attention all night. He was very dominant and yet romantic and affectionate. His blog post about the night is HERE. The play was just incredible!! We saw Phantom of the Opera many years ago but it was local actors. This one was from Broadway. Words can't describe how much the play affected me. I was overcome with emotion at one point. I had tears coming down my face during the one scene with Christine and the Phantom at the gravesite. Master wiped the tears away. He looked at me several times during the play. He held onto my hand tight. I was so wet. So in love. I was swept away during the play. I didn't think of anything else but him and I and the play. When it was over we headed back arm in arm and madly in love back to our hotel. I couldn't wait to get to our room. I was feeling so much emotion and love inside of me. I felt ready to burst. We discussed the play a lot on the way back. We got into the elevator and we got lucky being the only ones in there. He pushed me against the wall and lifted up my black velvet dress. He pushed my lace panties aside and stuck his finger in my very wet pussy. He kissed me with so much passion and love and need. The door opened and we practically ran back to our room. We got in the room and went immediately to the big bed. We had planned to watch a porno but we never got around to it. I think we were both too excited for one another. A want in us so strong. I craved his cock. I craved some pain. I wanted Darth to cum out. We both wanted each other so bad. I could feel the force in us. Before we had left earlier the toys were laid out and red rose petals were put all over the bed waiting for us. It was the first time I have fucked on rose petals. I loved it!! You can smell the scent of the roses as your fucking. He practically tore off my black velvet dress and got me into my bra, underware and garter and stockings with my heels. He pushed me to the bed and took off my heels and then the rest of everything. I was naked and he was full clothed still. I got down on my knees and unzipped his pants and got his cock out and started giving him a great blow job. He moaned in pleasure and looked pleased. At one point he instructed me to get on the bed with my ass over a pillow. He took our black blindfold and he put it over my eyes. He got the rope and he bound my wrists with it. I went into a deep subspace at this point. I love that blue rope we have. It's soft but binding. I felt secure in the bondage. I heard him get undressed. I heard his belt slide through it's lopes. I was a bit worried someone might hear him giving me his belt. It can get quite loud. He gave me about 20 full swing with his black leather belt. He knows I have a belt fetish and this was making me so wet. I could feel my juices running down my legs. I wanted him to fuck me so bad. He turned me over and moved the pillow. I was laying on my back naked and his fingers were in my pussy and getting me excited by pinching my clit. He gave me a big hickie and bite me in a few places. He teased me. He used his tongue on my nipples and then went down on me. He gave me the best oral I have ever received!! He made me cum for him on command. "Cum for me, you bitch" he ordered. And I exploded! My body quivering and shaking. It takes a lot for me to get relaxed enough to enjoy the oral like I did. The orgasm went through my entire body. He barely gave me a moment when he thrust into my pussy and started to fuck me. He slapped my face at one point and I flew into a deep subspace. "oh gawd. I'm going to cum again" I tried to warn him. He wouldn't let me cum til I was at the point of ready to explode. He told me to beg for it. "Please...please let me cum" I begged him for release. I came again and he came just shortly afterwards. He had my blonde hair in his fist and he came deep into my pussy. We held each other for a while. I had his cum in me for a while before he told me to clean myself up. We kissed for a very long time. He was so dominant and yet romantic. He put red rose petals all over my body from the rose he had bought me. He touched me in many places. We fell asleep late that night after a little more playing and some more spanking time. He used the razor strop on my ass almost 100 times. It was red and welted after he was done with my ass. We drank some of the French merlot we brought with us to the hotel and toasted to our love and our special night and had chocolate covered strawberries from the Rocky Mountain Factory as Master fed them to me. I enjoyed every minute we shared that day and night. I woke up Sunday feeling so alive and happy!! He took me out for breakfast to De Dutch which was just amazing!! I love De Dutch! :) We reconnected as Master and slave. I felt owned and controlled that night and it's carried into this week. I felt so open to him on Saturday night. I felt so much love and emotions. It was beautiful. A really beautiful night for us that I will never forget. I can still hear the music of the Phantom of the Opera... I am thinking of Master Anakin as a few days have passed since our special night together...I hope he knows that I love him so much and am so proud to be his slave and wife... he is on my mind a lot today and a desire to please him is in my heart and soul... happy HNT to everyone!! May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: HNT, UFC, UFC 62, flash, Phantom of the Opera

Sugasm #43-Final version

This week’s best of the sex blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Leading the pack is the top 3 posts voted by Sugasmer participants. Want in Sugasm #44? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set. Top Voted Posts Skinny Dipping (http://thehiddensides.blogspot.com) Pretend Forest (http://xantasia.blogspot.com) Why I’m Happy With “The Cleavage Situation” (http://lustylady.blogspot.com) Mr. Sugasm Himself Brian Griffin on Porn (http://sugarbank.com) Random Selection Self Love - Njoy (http://nyc-urban-gypsy.blogspot.com) More SugasmJoin the Sugasm (Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.) NSFW Pics Astra Zero remixes nude photos (http://eroticandy.blogspot.com) For the love of god, don’t see this movie… (http://www.internetisforporn.com) Half-Nekkid and Loving Herself (http://www.TarasNaughtyShop.com) Valerie Cortez (http://hotboxbabe.thumblogger.com) BDSM and Fetish The Honeymoon Part IV (http://redvelvetropeburn.com) Hot Dog Anyone??? (http://www.caramelvixen.com) Jack revisited (http://pick-up-pieces.blogspot.com) More of the same later (http://dealing-with-domino.blogspot.com) Small penis information lol! (http://www.spoiledebonyprincess.com) Sometimes you just need a spanking (http://darkside-journey.blogspot.com) Thoughts on Sex and Relationships A bit more on anonymity and outery while contemplating outlawery (http://www.realadultsex.com) How To Get Great Phone Sex (http://radicalvixen.com) My Pavlovian Pussy (http://www.taratainton.com) Night with Vodka Tonic (http://ohsexuallife.blogspot.com) Erotic Writing and Experiences Breaking the ice, part 2 (http://junohenry.wordpress.com) Coming down gently (http://joeheather.blogspot.com) The dark basement of dirty secrets (http://ellabeecoquette.blogspot.com) Five times in two days (http://justsexdrugsandrocknroll.blogspot.com) The grind (http://xxgraciexx.blogspot.com) Highway of Light (http://femmefataleteen.blogspot.com) Kiss the Girl- One Last Call for Alcohol (http://texasspitfire.blogspot.com) Me and Ebony on the Hood of a Car (throwing caution to the wind) (http://dirtydetails.blogspot.com) Tales From Under The Desk, Part 4 (http://thebinside.blogspot.com) Why Asian Women Really Get Me (http://virtual-sex-tourist.com) The World Is Fuckable (http://totalsensuality.blogspot.com) Yes, Please! (http://designingintimacy.blogspot.com) Sex News and Sexy Reviews Get virtual with Jenna (http://myhotbox.blogspot.com) Neon Dildos and Vibrant Vibrators (http://sultry.naughtyblog.net) “Put some lead in your pencil” is not just an old cliche! (http://www.xratedtv.com) Straight Porn Review: Two Dicks for Every Chick (http://blog.johnqafterhours.com) Humor Ever read your horoscope? (http://dirtyjokeblog.blogspot.com) Letters on chest (http://hothardcock.blogspot.com) Valerie Cortez licks her lips because the Sugasm is so sweet. Pic provided courtesy of Hot Box Babes.

Part 1-Bad Girl

Master went to karate tonight and asked me to do a blog post for him. I hope I am able to write out my feelings. I admit I am all over the place today. It's an anniversary for me today and it always makes me a bit strange. It was five years ago today that I was in a very serious car accident. I almost died. I think of that accident a lot and is always with me in some ways. I did a lot of reflecting today about it. The weather is different today than it was five years ago. It was starting to rain when my friend, S's van was hit straight on by a van. My accident was a defining moment in my life. It changed me in many ways. I became very spiritual and I learned who would be there in the end. A few friends disappeared during hard times. S and I's friendship has changed and gone through hard times but we are still friend's and we both talked about it today. I ran into her at the Wal mart today. I miss her. I really feel distant in some of my friendships right now. I feel very insecure about my friendships in my life right now. I came back from my trip feeling very lonely. My sis, schiava goes away today on her trip. I got two e-mails from her but I felt sad. We have only chatted maybe ten minutes in the last month. I sure miss her a lot. While doing my blog reading this morning I noticed Spitfire's recent blog post where she mentioned Master and I and a Star Wars rap website. Please check out this website. It's really funny. Thanks Spitfire!! Thanks Spitfire for the animated gif too with the whips and chains. I love it and Master put it on our blog tonight. :) Master Anakin and I are stronger than ever in our marriage. We have had one of the best week's and grown closer. We've had some really good communication on our trip to the Island and we both shared one of the best days of our lives on Saturday. Words can't describe how in love I was feeling and such intense happiness with Master. He surprised me and spoiled me. We had the time of our lives. I have many stories to share and pictures to share from the Island and also our Phantom day and night. I have a really hot HNT picture for Thursday already. Stay tuned for that!! I am going to write out my Phantom of the Opera day into two different chapters because so much happened. I have been coming down from it all today. It's been hard to have Master go back to work after a 5 day vacation and all that time we spent together. I will never forget Saturday and our special day together. He really put the romance and kinkiness into our relationship. He made sure everything was special. I will be writing part 2-Phantom night...tommorow. So stay tuned for the details from Saturday night. Today I am writing part 1-Bad Girl (before Phantom of the Opera) Bad Girl-Part 1 I got into the hot bath on Saturday afternoon. I was relaxing to the sounds of Phantom of the Opera on the cd. I put in the Lush Sex Bomb which I was keeping for that day. I sipped on a glass of merlot and shaved my pussy and legs. I spent a lot of time getting ready on Saturday. I wanted to look very good for Master. Our special night to celebrate ten years together. He bought Phantom of the Opera tickets in April and got us row 10 seats. He looked so good on Saturday and smelled like Axe cologne. He chose my clothes (casual clothes til we got to the hotel so I was comfortable) and red butterfly thong. He surprised me with the red rose that you saw in his blog post picture yesterday. It had a black ribbon around it just like in my tattoo. I almost melted when I saw the rose. He knows this is my favorite flower. He kissed my hand and all of a sudden showed me the rose with the black ribbon from behind his back. He bought us a very special bottle of French merlot to take with us to the Hotel. I didn't know any of the plans. He took care of everything before we left. I got a OTK spanking before we left...he pulled down my thong and spanked my ass til it was red and sore and I was in a state of subspace. My ass seemed to want more. I wanted a harder spanking but we had to leave. I wanted to cum also so bad. He had me on orgasm denial for a week and a half and I was horny and ready for action. I swear I was wet all day on Saturday. We got into the car and started to drive downtown. He told me in the car he was going to take me to the opening day of the PNE. I was a bit surprised as I figured it would be crazy there being opening day. He wanted us to have some time there without our kid's. He knows I am a girl in my heart. I love the rides and games and fair excitement. We parked and headed down to the gates. I had no idea what he was planning for me. He told me what to eat. I was told to get Hunky Bill perogies for lunch. Gawd they were good. He knows I love Russian food. It's the Russian in me. We enjoyed the parade there and then got mini donuts. He fed them to me. I had to beg for one and then he would feed me one to my mouth. We got a few strange looks but I didn't care. We made out like a couple of young kid's. He grabbed my ass several times. I begged him to go on the big wooden roller coaster. He did go on it with me and I felt so much joy and happiness. I giggled and he swatted me on the ass as we left the roller coaster. He was sore in a few places from it. He played the balloon game and won me a pink monky stuffie. He bought me a Bad Girl air brushed tattoo which you can see in this picture. He told me it suited me. I am a bad girl that needs a spanking!!! He has told me he wants to get a permanent tattoo on me with Bad Girl on my shoulder. I can't help it!! I'm a bad girl who has naughty thoughts all the time!! We were making out on the way back to the car. This was the first time to the PNE without any kid's since we dated back in 1991. It was wonderful to have that time together to have fun. I felt no worries and he took care of everything. I didn't have any money. He took care of anything I wanted. He was so dominant. He was so Darth. I was wet and wanted him bad. We drove down to Stanley Park. He knows this is my favorite park around. He took me to Brockton Point where I flashed my titties for him for our HNT photo. The lions gate bridge in the background. "Show me those titties, slave" he said with his sadistic smile. I did a flash and a hiker came around the corner. I think he might have seen something. Oh well!! I'm a naughty girl who loves to show a little flesh. The movie, The Crush was filmed at that point during a kissing scene. We made out like a bunch of kid's there. I thought he was going to fuck me right there. There was a wedding party getting photos taken there and the bride kept smiling at me. She looked so hot. I had all kinds of fantasies of getting into their limo with them to have some kinky wild sex. We drove around the park til we came to English Bay. I know Master and I were both checking out the hot bodies there. We went down to Robson street where we parked. He took me to La Vie En Rose where he bought me a cute pair of red lace panties. They looked so sexy and hot. We went out for some of the best Sushi I have had in years. I was told during part of the dinner to go into the bathroom and remove my thong. He told me to masturbate for him and get wet and make sure to stick my fingers into my pussy. He told me to not wash my fingers. He wanted to smell my juice on my fingers. He said to come back to him horny and wet but with no panties on. I was nervous but did as I was told. I locked the door and took off my pants and then my thong. I masturbated and had some naughty thoughts. I felt like a bad girl with my tattoo on my arm and sticking my fingers into my very wet pussy. I wanted him to cum on in and fuck me in that bathroom. My clit felt like it was on fire. I really wanted him bad. I touched myself and then put my pants back on and came back to the table. He was there with a very sadistic grin. He smelled my fingers and licked them. He had the horniest smile on his face. "Is your thong off" he whispered to me. "Yes, Sir" I said quickly. I ate the sushi and tempura he ordered for me. We discussed Phantom of the Opera and where we were staying for the night. He told me he had booked a room at the Sandman Hotel almost across from the Queen Elizabeth Theatre where the play was showing. We stayed there during our Duran Duran night also. It's really nice and a great location downtown. I was nervous about the night but so excited. I had packed the toys he instructed in a bag. I knew he was in Darth mode. We talked for a while and he held onto my hand and looked right into my eyes. On the way to the car we discussed the play for the evening. I begged him for pain. I begged for a spanking I would never forget. I begged him to fuck me. I was so horny and excited. We went to our hotel and checked in. We got into the elevator and he pushed up against me. "You're my slut for the evening. You do as your told, My bitch," he told me with a near silent growl. I could barely contain myself as we got into our room. I begged him to fuck me but he wouldn't. "Suffer for me, you cunt. You're not cumming til I command it" he said in his stern voice. I got dressed for the evening in the dress he told me to wear. He was going to recreate a night from many years ago. Our last Phantom of the Opera night. I was told to pack my black velvet dress from all those years ago for the night. No wig this time. He wanted blonde curls. Innocent but sexual he told me. I was to get the look right or do it over. I spent a hour getting my look down right for the night. Make up and hair perfect. I loved the look on his face after I was finished getting ready. He was very proud of me for putting so much time into getting ready and looking so sexy for him. He gave me a big swat on the ass as we left for Phantom of the Opera. Feeling so sexy and beautiful. I wanted to ooze sexuality in how I dressed. I wanted him to be pleased. I wore my new red lace panties for him with the dress and my black high heels and garter with black stockings. He wore his black suit with his red tie. Gawd he looked so hot. He smelled good. He was so dominant and in control. I wanted him more than I had in years. I really wanted to be fucked bad. I wanted to always remember our night together..... So who wants the details of what happened during Phantom of the Opera and back at the hotel????? Who wants part 2?? May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: bad girl, Phantom of the Opera, spanking, Stanley Park

Quiz from danae

quiz from danae Flaming Polyamorist Congratulations! You scored 86% Polyamorous! You are probably too poly for your own good! It sounds like you try to deal fairly and honestly in all your relationships and communication is a high priority with you! If you didn't cheat on this test, then you probably wouldn't cheat in real life! You, however, are a dyed in the rainbow colors of the parrot poly! So go stick your parrot sticker on your car, if you have one, and be proud! My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 77% on Polyamory Link: The Are you Polyamorous Test written by dieppe on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

The garish light of day

I took my padme out for a date yesterday and we had one of those "remember it for the rest of our lives" kind of day. We were celebrating 10 years together; a significant portion of our lives. We were in a wild, lets revel in being alive and madly in love as Master and slave. It was a day where the past was revisited and renewed, where the past became the present, and we walking in both for a while. We returned to a few places were first fell in love, and how we are so different, and how we are still the same; both facts coexisting in the same beautiful moment. In the one photo is the red rose which is My padme's favorite flower. I bought her this red rose with the black ribbon around it just like in her tattoo of my mark that she wears on her ankle. She was so excited to get the rose with the black ribbon. She was a very spoiled girl yesterday. Streaming sunshine in the windshield as we drove down the highway too fast with the stereo way too loud; it was hot, it was the anticipation of the events to come. We were going to see Phantom of the Opera tonight, like we did 10 years ago when we first were together. Returning to the past again, returning to the present; full circle and the future unfolding. We pulled into the opening day of the Pacific National Exhibition, or the PNE. We had to go, as we'd been 10 years ago too. It's a place we fell in love. It's hard not to, if you let yourself go. It's a really big fair held every August in Vancouver. It's been going for 50 years; everybody goes; it's the fair; it's mini-donuts, hot weather and lots of hot bodies, rides and loud music, games of chance and monster trucks and bands and throngs of people, the smells of roasted BBQ chicken, cotton candy and in the mix, in the dream of the fair, My padme and Me. My padme, the funloving girl she is, talked Master into going on the big wooden roller coaster. It's a really old, really wild coaster ride with bone-jarring turns and stomach dropping ups and downs. My padme is a child at heart; she laughed the whole ride as I hung on to her and to the safety bar that impailed me in the stomach a couple times. Believe me, she got spanked hard for that. Adreneline pumping, we walked down the midway and I won a pink stuffed animal toy for my girl. She loved it. I'm the secure father figure in her life she always needed; she's the one I always needed to take care of. She's my girl. I got her an air brushed tattoo at the fair. She is still wearing it today. It says "Bad Girl" on it. The multitudes of sounds, smells and sights fading as we exited the fairgrounds, we were off to a romantic drive in the hot sun down to Stanley Park and the seawall, an unreal, beautiful park surrounded on three sides by the sea, on the fourth by the glass and chrome and brick and painted concrete of the downtown Vancouver. We took some great photographs at the PNE and especially down at Stanley Park. We took a great flashing photo (as padme loves to flash!) on the seawall. Naughty thing that she is, I'm pretty damn sure someone saw her flash but he didn't mind a bit. We will be sharing that photo this week for our HNT photo. After Stanley park it was down to Robson Street and then Phantom. padme was glowing and very happy. I bought her a glass of Merlot and we sat down for the play. It was incredibly done; the production values, the actors, the casting, the special effects; this was a much better phantom than the production we had seen 10 years earlier. It was the same, but better, richer, more subtle, deeper; all like our love. I loved the play. My padme will be sharing more details of our Phantom night, what happened after the sunset, in her next blog post. Stay tuned, but it was an incredible night. I surprised her with a night in a hotel after the show and we both had a very late night last night. Speaking of padme, I have her offline today, working for me, and then relaxing, on my orders. It's a lot to come down from, a magical day and night, a celebration of our 10 years together. You may have already noticed the orange button on the left hand column of Journey to the Darkside. We've set up a PayPal account and I'm seeking donations towards a better camera for Journey to the Darkside. For those of you who enjoy all of our original erotic photographs, please consider donating; anything you can donate is very much appreciated. A better camera will certainly bring you more and better pictures; I've pushed my current camera to its limits and beyond. I need more megapixels, manual controls and the like to get more from the images I take for all of you. Thank you for considering a donation. By the way, you can still vote for our latest sugasm post by clicking here or email your sugasm vote to editor@sugasm.com. We posted the article Sometimes you just need a spanking to sugasm. We hope you liked it and we'd appreciate your vote. May the force be with you. ~ Anakin Technorati Tags: PNE, Phantom of the Opera, Stanley Park, anniversary

Phantom of the Opera TONIGHT!!

Tonight's a big night for Master Anakin and I. I am so excited!! Master has gone to karate and then to drop our son off for the overnight. I woke up to a list of instructions from him about tonight. We have both been counting down the days to this. Master got our great seats last April when ticketmaster was first selling the tickets to see Phantom of the Opera at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre downtown Vancouver. We saw the play many years ago and had one of the most romantic nights of our relationship. I am putting up a photo of Master and I dressed up for Phantom of the Opera back in 1997. It was playing at the Ford Center that year. I got a spanking outdoors for it. HERE is the blog post describing the details of that very special night. Please read this blog post if you havn't before. It is one of the most amazing nights of my life. I was dressed in my short black velvet dress for Master and wearing a black wig. I liked wearing that black wig that made me look sexy. Master was wearing his vest and looking dominant. He had on his black Terminator kick ass boots. Master is truly the most romantic man that I know. He always surprises me and find ways to go beyond showing me his love for me. We have been waiting months for this night and it's finally here!! No kid's til tommorow afternoon. Just the two of us downtown for a night of Phantom and romance and naughty fun and shopping!! I am so excited I can barely stand it!! Phantom of the Opera is my favorite music. I have been told that after I write my blog post I am to go pack our bag and then have a hot bubble bath with the Sex Bomb bathbomb and listen to the cd of Phantom that Master bought me for X-mas one year. I am to shave my pussy and get ready for tonight. He's picked out my clothes and told me I am going to be wearing my red butterfly thong for tonight. I am to obey his orders. Not question him. To obey him fully. Tonight he told me is a very dark and romantic night of our relationship. He's promised to surprise me and give me a night I will never forget. I have no idea where we are going for dinner or which hotel he has booked. I don't want to know. I love to be surprised. I feel so submissive in my soul today. A need in me to please him. I was told I will receive a spanking over his knee before even leaving the house. He wants me in a very submissive mood and he has told me he plans to have me in subspace a lot for today and tonight. He signed the note this morning to me love Darth. That makes me know that Darth is cumming out. :) I don't think I have been this excited since my wedding with Master. I feel giddy and feeling so much anticipation right now. Last year I got a Phantom of the Opera tattoo on my ankle (his mark) for our 9 year anniversary. He wanted the Phantom's black ribbon through my red roses (my favorite flower). It's to remind me of that special Phantom night many years ago. That he is my Phantom. My Master. This year we celebrate ten years together in November. We have been married for two years. We love each other as much as we did ten years ago. I think it's a stronger love. I have submitted to him fully and we have gone furthur on our journey to the darkside. Tonight is going to be magical. I can just feel it. He's had me on orgasm denial for a week and a half. He's even had me on spanking withdrawal. I really wanted a spanking last night but he would not give me one. It's all built up in me and I feel ready to explode right now!! Words can't describe the emotions in me right now. I want to be spanked SO bad!!! I can't think of anything but tonight. I feel in love, horny, romantic, submissive....so many things. I have never loved a man like Master ever. I am feeling so lucky right now. My force is so strong through Master. I am a girl in love!!! I truly adore my Master and I can't wait to experience tonight with him. It will bring us even closer...it is our time together. A night to remember for years!!! Think of us tonight at Phantom..madly in love and having the time of our lives!! We are taking our camera tonight. We hope to take lots of pictures. I love going downtown also and am really looking forward to that. We havn't been downtown in many months. It's a different world for us going into the city. I am really excited about staying down there tonight. Gawd!! I am ready to jump up and down I am so excited!!! We are going downtown for the day. I am going to be dressing casual as we have Stanley Park and beach time down at English bay. We plan to go sex store shopping. He's told me I am going to be a spoiled girl if I behave myself today. He's booked a hotel room for the night. We plan to have a lot of naughty play tonight. He's instructed me on which toys to bring to the hotel. It's a beautiful summer day and I hope we will have some outdoor play like we did all those years ago over the rock at Stanley park. It was a outdoor spanking I will never forget. My fantasies are going crazy right now. I am dying to know what surprises he has in store for me. We have discussed me getting another tattoo at some point or a piercing. I am almost wondering if that might happen today. There's a tattoo place downtown that we both thought looked good. Ohhhhhhh.....I am so excited about tonight!!! I don't want to come down from this feeling in me right now. I am so horny!! I am so submissive!! I am so excited!!! I want to spend the whole weekend with Master. I will probably not be online until Monday. I better go jump in the bath and listen to the Phantom music while I get ready. So who wants the details of tonight? I can already hear the music of the night... Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams! Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before! Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar! And you'll live as you've never lived before . . . Softly, deftly, music shall surround you . . . Feel it, hear it, closing in around you . . . Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind, in this darkness which you know you cannot fight - the darkness of the music of the night . . . Let your mind start a journey through a strange new world! Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before! Let your soul Take you where you long to be ! Only then can you belong to me . . . Floating, falling, sweet intoxication! Touch me, trust me savour each sensation! Let the dream begin, let your darker side give into the power of the music that I write the power of the music of the night! May the force be with you all!! ~a very horny and happy padme Technorati Tags: Phantom of the Opera, spanking, Phantom, orgasm denial

Vader spotted in Victoria

We just got back an hour ago from our trip to Victoria, B.C.. I'm exhausted. I got way too much sun the last few days and I'm so tired that I can barely move. We did so much in such a short time and we had so much fun! I came back to a ton of e-mails and phone messages. I need to catch up on my blog reading this weekend too at some point. I'm now way behind. I didn't want to do a blog post but decided to put up two photos from our trip. We took hundreds of photos on our trip and I hope to put a few up during this week. One of them is priceless! We saw Darth Vader in Victoria! No, I'm not kidding! There was Darth Vader in downtown Victoria playing the violin today. He was playing the Imperial March (Darth's theme) from Star Wars of course! Master took this photo and we gave him a few bucks. He was really good!! I told Master he should have went up and told him he was Anakin. lol. It's not everyday you see Darth Vader busking; I suppose that he's kind of down on his luck since the movie franchise ended. I really need to get Master this Darth Vader outfit!! I was having all kinds of fantasies with the Vader in Victoria...thoughts of having a threesome with two Darths. Ohhhhhhhhhh yum!!!!! Boy I need a spanking!! It's been over a week now and my ass is just dying for some attention!! Who wants to cum over and spank me!!! I really need a good hard paddling? Any volunteers??? :) The other photo is a picture of the parliament buildings in downtown Victoria, B.C., Canada. There is a horse drawn carriage which was going by in moment Master took this photo. Victoria is a very romantic place. I really enjoyed my moments with Master and our children. Yesterday was just awesome!! The BBQ went okay. I have many stories to share from it. Yesterday was so much fun!! We went for a boat ride. We tore around in a small powerboat all over the Swartz Bay. We enjoyed some downtown and we went to the night market in Sidney, BC not far from downtown where we were staying. Then we went back to Master's brother's for a game of crib. Enjoying a nice bottle of wine from the vineyards near there. We really enjoyed a first class vacation. It was amazing!! I got spoiled. Master bought me the most beautiful blue shell necklace last night. We made love last night in the hotel after our children were fast asleep last night. It was incredible sex!!! I needed him inside of me so badly. He took me hard and got me so worked up but wouldn't let me orgasm. No relief for me. I am to sweetly suffer til tommorow night!! Gawd! I am on orgasm denial til tommorow for our Phantom of the Opera night. That didn't stop him from taking me and taunting and teasing me. I am extremely horny today!!! I really am just beyond aroused right now. I can't wait until tommorow and our special night!! We are going to see Phantom of the Opera playing at the Queen Elizabeth theatre downtown Vancouver. We get to drop our son off for an overnight in the morning to go downtown for the day. We plan to take tons of photos. We are going to the show and then we are staying in a hotel for a very special night of romance and naughty fun!! We are planning to stop by the sex shop downtown too for some naughty shopping!! *winks* I can't wait!! I really needed a few days away. I am exhausted but happy and in love. I can't wait until tommorow!! I am so excited!! Master has told me there are many special plans awaiting me. I await them with nervous anticipation. I won't be online much until Sunday now. I plan to go take a long hot bubble bath with the Lush I bought today and relax and enjoy a glass or two of wine from a bottle of a very fine Merlot we bought in Victoria. Then tomorrow is our very special night of Phantom!! Oh how dark the Phantom is! I am such a lucky girl!! I hope everyone is doing okay. I'll have to do some catch up next week to see how everyone is doing!! May the force be with you all!! ~a very exhausted but happy padme Technorati Tags: Darth Vader, orgasm denial, Lush, Phantom of the Opera, Victoria

Happy HNT - Wearing Daddy's boots

Master allowed me to do the blog post for tonight for the HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) photo. He worked for an hour in Photoshop to edit this photo of me nude wearing only his Daddy boots. He replaced the background with red velvet carpet and darkness. My sister has referred to these boots as his "Terminator kick ass boots." One night when I was fully nude I decided to put these on and walk around in them. They are so big on my small feet. He said it looked so cute he just had to take a picture of me. He liked this one on my knees the most, my bottom begging to be spanked. You can see my old tattoo on my ankle. I have since had it updatted last November for our anniversary. I had such a positive reaction to the last HNT photo of me nude in the shower that Master wanted to do another one of me in the nude for you all!! I would love some feedback on this photo. Master worked hard to edit the background. Please let us know what you think!!! :) This photo is a bit different than last week's. I really think it's cute; naughty and innocent. Do you wanna spank me? Master sure did! I am slowly getting past my body issues. I've worked hard to get a skinnier body. I love to box and walk. I also am semi-vegetarian and eat a lot of organic foods. I've lost almost 60 pounds all together since 3 1/2 years ago. I was over 200 pounds at one point. I was feeling very down about myself. I decided to work my ass off and lose the weight to feel better and give my back less pressure and recover from my car accident injury. I really have come a long way since my accident back in 2001. The anniversary of that is coming up and I find myself doing a lot of reflecting about it. We are leaving tommorow on the ferry to go to Victoria, BC to see a renewal of wedding vows of Master's brother and sister in law. We will be gone til Friday. I am dreading it but in some ways looking forward to getting away for a few days. A few things happened today. I phoned my Dad. I was very angry about a few things and decided to phone him and tell him off. I realized quickly that my Dad is a different man. He was different in the phone conversation. He's got brain damage because of what he tried to do to himself. He has come into a whole lot of money and he's taking my siblings on trips. He was trying to throw money at me a bunch of times through the conversation. I'm not after his money. I don't want a cent. I just want my Dad to love me and care. That's worth any amount of money to me. I really hope that we can try one day to have a relationship. At the end of the conversation I mostly felt sorry for my Dad. I think it was good to talk to him and get some answers. I really needed them. I got my hair cut today and it feels awesome. I feel so sexy. I dyed my hair light blonde yesterday. I am planning to wear something very sexy to the bbq tommorow night. I am feeling horny and submissive today to Master. He's got me on orgasm denial til Saturday night and our Phantom of the Opera night. He wants it to be very special for us. We are going to see it at the Queen E Theatre on Saturday night. He got the best seats in the house for us and we have a night planned in a fancy hotel. I am going to look for something sexy to wear for that night this week. We want it to be very special and we hope to do lots of reconnecting and lots of naughty fun. I can't wait!! We'll be taking the camera so we hope to share some pics with everyone of that night! Who wants the details?? *winks* We didn't want to miss the HNT photo this week and we hope you enjoy this one. I really do think it's a sexy photo. I hope you all agree!! I would love to hear from everyone. Lurkers...cum on out!! Say hello!! I am going to miss everyone for a few days. I am really going to miss my bro, Adam. I've really had some great conversations with him on the phone lately. I really appreciate his friendship in my life. He's a true blue friend and one of the most special friend's I have ever had. I was all over the place after my call with my Dad and he talked to me and helped me sort out my emotions. I don't have too many friend's that I feel close to and Adam is always there. Thanks Adam for your friendship!! I got a e-mail from schiava this morning. We havn't chatted too much with her on vacation and now I am going away. I know she's going to Ireland at the end of the month too. I sure miss her a lot. I've been thinking about her a lot. It's been 4 years this month since I was last with nikki. I really miss the feel of a woman. I would do just about anything to be with my sis right now. I really, really miss her right now. I hope everyone has a good few days. I'll have to catch up on all of your hot HNT blog posts when I get back from the trip. Please leave us a comment!! I'd love to come back to a bunch of messages from everyone. Please let us know what you think of this HNT photo! Thank you for joining us on our Journey... May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: HNT, orgasm denial, daddy's girl, bisexual, phantom

Sugasm #42-we made the top 3 blog posts!

Whoo Hoo!! We made the list of sugasm's 3 top blog posts voted from all of you!!! We are so excited!! *break out the vodka* Thank you to everyone who voted for our blog post about our threesome with Master R. I put a lot of myself into that blog post and feel very proud of it. I really appreciate the support of everyone. We reached 500,000 blog hits and almost 500 blog posts and now we got to the top 3 of sugasm for this week!! Yeah!! I feel incredibly proud of this blog and how far we have come since last September. The anniversary of Journey to the Darkside is coming up next month. Master and I have put a lot into this blog. Many hours were spent on HNT photos or blog work that we wanted to do to make our blog look neat. I know Master spent a few sleepless nights on the header for this blog. We want to thank everyone who comments and helps support this blog. I tried to post a picture for today but blogger wasn't cooperating. Master and I are both taking a week off of Journey to the Darkside. We will post one final blog post for HNT before we leave on our trip. Master is off for almost a week starting on Wednesday. We have a family event taking place on Wednesday and we have to travel to get there. We are spending two nights in a hotel. Master's brother and sister in law are renewing their wedding vows at a family bbq with celebrating 20 years together. Master is doing a reading for it. I dyed my hair light blonde today to get myself ready for the trip. We both are getting ready for our trip and I have a lot of cleaning and packing to do to get ready. We get back late Friday and then Saturday Master and I have a very special day planned. We are going to see Phantom of the Opera at the Queen Elizabeth theatre and have great seats for this. We plan to spend the day downtown and have some alone time. We are hoping to stay downtown for the night in a hotel. I know Master has me on orgasm denial and has special kinky plans for that night. So this week is very busy. I have no time for this blog or blog reading. I will have to do catch up next week. And I am sure will have many details to share with everyone. My weekend wasn't too great. I feel pretty moody and I think some time away might help me think about some things and get my head straight. Master and I are both a bit stressed with stuff right now and I know we are both looking forward to Saturday. We really need a overnight special night. I have been looking forward to Phantom of the Opera since he bought the tickets for our 2nd wedding anniversary back in April. We both have seen the play before and it's very special to us both. I really can't wait!! Master is planning to post our HNT (Half Nekkid Thursday) post before we leave. He's been working on it the last few days. It's a really hot one!! So stay tuned for that. We are both offline except for our final HNT blog post til Sunday or Monday. I hope everyone has a wonderful week!! I'm going to miss chatting to my friend's and reading my usual blogs. Have a fun week! Here's the sugasm!! (big smiles): (Thanks again to everyone who voted!! Master and I are so excited and happy today!! I am very proud of Journey to the Darkside and this journey is just starting...we hope to be around for a long time... Sugasm 42-final version This week’s best of the sex blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Now with the top 3 posts voted by Sugasmers. Want in Sugasm #43? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set. Mr. Sugasm Himself An Illustrated Guide to Nude Modeling (sugarbank.com) Top Voted Posts Threesome with Master R and Master Anakin (http://darkside-journey.blogspot.com) Voluntarily Violated (http://everythingoze.blogspot.com) Girls Gone Wild: Producer Going to Hell (http://susiebright.com) More SugasmJoin the Sugasm (Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.) Sex News and Sexy Reviews Audacia Ray films her porn movie! (http://viviane212.blogspot.com) Glass Sex Toy 101 (http://sultry.naughtyblog.net) New Kinky Designs Added! (http://www.tarasnaughtyshop.com) Sex Toys Between Your Sheets: Write About It! (http://blog.babeland.com) Straight Porn Review: Fuck It Like It’s Hot (http://blog.johnqafterhours.com) Erotic Writing and Experiences Fantasies (http://sensualsingleton.blogspot.com) HNT: The Heartbreakingly Kinky Sex (http://sabrinainstockings.com) Mom’s Advice - His Fallen Angel (http://dawnndirty.blogspot.com) The Purple Thing (http://bdsmlover.blogspot.com) Suck Me! (http://gentlygently.blogspot.com) Thoughts on Sex and Relationships Anatomy of a pinup, part 1 (telling the story)… (http://retromodernist.com) Hanging onto Life by a G-String (http://www.taratainton.com) The importance of being “in” (http://junohenry.wordpress.com) Let’s Talk About Sex (http://www.seskuality.com) Male Issues & The world revolves around My pussy? (http://www.alphadominablog.com) Past Pleasures (http://edinerotica.blogspot.com) The Quiet Ones (http://redfrique.blogspot.com) Sleeping Naked (http://wanklog.blogspot.com) Stirrings (http://ladycalliah.wordpress.com) Why do men fall asleep after sex? (http://myhotbox.blogspot.com) BDSM and Fetish Dominating my Man! (http://www.la-day.blogspot.com) The Honeymoon Part II (http://redvelvetropeburn.com) Judas Kiss (http://nyc-urban-gypsy.blogspot.com) Met with a white boi today (http://www.caramelvixen.com) Negotiation 101 (http://www.dangerousfemme.com) A Pleasant Personal Punishment (Part One) (http://seanandmel.blogspot.com) A Return To (http://fresh-fetish.com/blog) NSFW Pics LotsMore New Nudes of Me (http://totalsensuality.blogspot.com) My Friend Naughty Julie (http://www.seska4lovers.com) New I Feel Myself Video (http://eroticandy.blogspot.com) Nicole Graves (http://hotboxbabe.thumblogger.com) Humor Cumming Confusion (http://radicalvixen.com/blog) Ms Naughty Is About Porn For Women (http://www.msnaughty.com/blog/) Sex Work My Sweet Lil Young Voice… (http://kyliecallme.com) May the force be with you all!! Have a good week!! ~padme

500,000

Reaching the milestone of a half a million hits now, and almost 500 posts later, Journey to the Darkside is stronger than ever. We are sending out 500,000 thank you's to our loyal readers and new found friends, commenters and lurkers alike. Thank you, to all of you that have helped us along the way, and many of you have, in your encouragement to continue and your continuing support, readership, suggestions, compliments, friendship, and appreciation of what we offer here at Journey to the Darkside. To all are readers from around the globe and around the block, thank you for making us part of your day. We truly enjoy sharing what we have and what we love with all of you; and we'll continue to do so, thanks to you. We started our Journey to the Darkside a long time ago, not in the blog world, but in real life. From learning the ropes, the early infatuation, naiveity, excitement and difficulties, the learning experiences of years of estabilishing and growing in our real life Master/slave, Domestic Discipline, and spanking lifestyle, we've learned a lot. And we're glad we are able now in the blog world to share all that we have learned, our past and ongoing lifestyle, thoughts and experiences, erotic stories and of course more photos with the world, with all of you. Thanks for coming along on our Journey to the Darkside. The Journey continues.... ~ Anakin (for Anakin and padme) Technorati Tags: Journey to the Darkside, blogging, spanking, bdsm

Vote for Sugasm and happy birthday Master Anakin

Sugasm #42 Vote Request I wanted to let people know that sugasm is doing something very different for this sugasm #42: Sugasmers, You’re going to be choosing the top 3 posts for this week’s Sugasm. Here’s how it works: Vote for your three favorite posts from the list below and email your selections to editor@sugasm.com. Please vote via email and not in the comments - your votes are top secret. Voting is overall, not by category, so pick 3 from whichever category or categories you want. The three posts with the most votes will garner the top three positions in the upcoming Sugasm. Sugasmers are always welcome to post the entire Sugasm but for Sugasm #42 you will only be required to post the top three voted posts. Pick your top three favorites from the posts below and send them in. Voting ends Sunday at 11:59pm PST. Happy voting! Master Anakin submitted our blog post, Threesome with Master R and Master Anakin for the sugasm. He thought it was a hot blog post. If you do too, let them know through e-mail please. I hope everyone will take the time today to vote for the sugasm. I am curious to know who will be the top 3 posts from it. There are some really hot blog posts. I'm having a good time this morning looking through all of them. Check them out. :) Happy Birthday Master Anakin!! I am up early today to get a little blog reading done before we leave for the Abbotsford Airshow. Master is sleeping in for his birthday. Thanks everyone who wished him a happy birthday! If you havn't yet please wish him a happy birthday!! I want today to be a awesome day for him. I know he's looking forward to his blow job tonight. I hope everyone has a good day today. May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Happy Birthday Master Anakin!!

I am not planning to be on the computer tommorow as Master Anakin and I are going to the Abbotsford Airshow and then out for dinner and then we have special plans for his birthday tommorow. I will be taking a day off the blogs tommorow to spend the day with him. I will be serving my sexy Master with a blow job tommorow night as a part of his birthday presents. I know he's looking forward to that. *winks* I'd like to say thank you to my friend, yours for helping me with putting up a Star Wars birthday card for Master Anakin today. Thanks yours!! I really wanted to get a Star Wars one for Master and she was able to help me. She found this card at blueharvest.net. It looks like it's a good website with Star Wars cards. I am going to link to it. We are leaving early tommorow morning to head down to the airshow which is a annual event for Master. He loves planes. Tommorow is his day and I want him to have a very happy day for his 41st birthday. Please wish my husband and Master a very happy birthday!!! I know he would love to hear from you all!! It would really mean a lot to me. He's my soulmate and my force. I am truly in love with him and hoping he will have a wonderful birthday tommorow!! I am heading out shopping shortly for his present. I havn't gotten him anything yet!! Talk about leaving it til the last minute. I think I need a spanking for that!! What do you all think?? Who thinks I should get hard spanking for one of his birthday presents? Relief some stress and tension for him. Get him in the mood to relax for a good blow job after the hard spanking?? Which toy should he use tommorow night? Anyone have any ideas? Happy birthday Master Anakin!! I really hope you'll have a wonderful birthday tommorow. Thank you for all you do for me and our kid's. You are loved so much and I really hope you'll have a wonderful day tommorow!! I want to thank Stiletto Girl for helping me find the horoscope information for Master Anakin's birthday. Master is a lot like his sign. He is definatly like a Lion. He is a Leo and I am a libra. I am really looking forward to doing my blow job to him tommorow night. Every year for his birthday it's my one sexual present to him. He gets to lay back and I do nothing but please him with my mouth. I am not allowed to use my hands at all. They are to be kept by my side. I have to suck him til he cums in my mouth. I have a bit of a gag reflex and my jaw sometimes get tired. I find myself feeling very submissive doing this for him. Hearing his moans of pleasure. He tells me it's the best birthday gift of everything I give to him. I hope Master is ready for a great blow job and some loving. I'm in submissive mode today. I want to please him... Here is Master's astrological information. I found it very interesting. A lot of it definatly describes Master: August 12-Leo the Lion July 23 to August 22 Traditional Leo Traits Generous and warmhearted Creative and enthusiastic Broad-minded and expansive Faithful and loving On the dark side.... Pompous and patronizing Bossy and interfering Dogmatic and intolerant Leo! About Your Sign... The Leo type is the most dominant, spontaneously creative and extrovert of all the zodiacal characters. In grandeur of manner, splendor of bearing and magnanimity of personality, they are the monarch's among humans as the lion is king of beasts. They are ambitious, courageous, dominant, strong willed, positive, independent, self-confident there is no such a word as doubt in their vocabularies, and they are self-controlled. Born leaders, either in support of, or in revolt against, the status quo. They are at their most effective when in a position of command, their personal magnetism and innate courtesy of mind bringing out the best of loyalty from subordinates. They are uncomplicated, knowing exactly what they want and using all their energies, creativeness and resolution to get it, as well as being certain that they will get whatever they are after. Their followers know where they are with Leonians. Leonians think and act bigger than others would normally dare; the ambitiousness of their schemes and idealism sometimes daunt their followers, their practical hardheadedness and ability to go straight to the heart of any problem reassures those who depend on them. If Leonians meet with setbacks they thrive on the adversity. On the whole they are powers for good, for they are strongly idealistic, humane, and beneficent. They have powerful intelligence and are of a broad philosophical, sometimes religious, turn of mind. Those who are devout may become very obstinate in upholding traditional beliefs and will cling tenaciously, but with complete sincerity, to practices and doctrines which liberal thinkers regard as absurdly out-of-date. These will be found as the 'lions' of industries, and in the forefront of the cutting edge of technologies. Their faults can be as large in scale as their virtues, and an excessively negative Leonian can be one of the most unpleasant human beings imaginable, displaying extreme arrogance, autocratic pride, haughtiness, and excessive hastiness of temper. If jealously suspicious of rivals, they will not hesitate to use cunning, lies and trickery to discredit them. Self-centeredness, greed for flattery, boastfulness, and bombast, pomposity, snobbish superiority, and overbearing, and intolerant disdain of underlings; to whom they will nevertheless delegate the carrying out of minor details in their grandiose schemes, and from whom they are not above borrowing immoderately if an occasion necessitates it. Any of these can be characteristic of Leo. Add to them a passion for luxury, a lust for power, unlimited sexual lust, and emotional indulgence, and a character emerges that no one would want to know either in public life or private. But their pride may go before a fall, as uncontrolled impetuosity is likely to bring them low. Fortunately it is rare that a Leo is so undisciplined as to give way thoroughly to this list of vices, and their tendencies to them are usually balanced by an innate wisdom. Those who are afflicted with them also have the intelligence it takes to consciously and actively overcome them. In professional life they do well at any vocation at which there is room at the top. As politicians they are content with nothing less than a powerful position in government. In business they may be the chairman of their company's board, or at least directors or managers. They are excellent organizers and overseers, often laying the groundwork for new projects. If from the artisan ranks of society they will aspire to become the boss, partly because they are ambitious by nature, partly because they dislike manual labor, preferring to take charge of others doing it. If artistic, Leos can become stars of stage or screen (their bent is serious rather than light drama), maestros as musicians where they will gravitate toward the grand instruments or activities, such as the organ or conducting of orchestras and as painters; anything grand in conception and scale appeals to them. Leo women make exceptionally good welfare workers. In his or her relations with others the Leo type is open, sincere, genuine and trusting. Outgoing, spontaneously warm hearted and plain spoken, though never lacking in kindliness, Leos are more disillusioned than the average if let down by those they trust. They are not good judges of character and are inclined to favoritism and an exaggerated faith in their followers which too often ends in disappointment. They have a strong sex drive and are so attracted to the opposite sex that they find it hard to be constant; they can be so intensely sexual as to become dissolute. They may have numerous love affairs for their love of pleasure and beauty is liable to drive them from one attractive partner to another. They are very much inclined to deceive. Their marriages may fail for the same reason, yet they are sincere and generous to their lovers while love lasts, and will remain attached to their homes so long as it is run for their benefit. They demand service but are incapable of giving it. Possible Health Concerns... Physiologically, Leo governs the upper back, forearms, wrist, spine and heart. Its natives are subject to a number of ailments: pain in the back and lungs, spinal complaints, diseases of the heart and blood, sickness in ribs and sides, convulsions, pleasantries, violent burning fevers including, in former days, when they were prevalent, plague, pestilence, jaundice, and some afflictions of the eyes. LIKES Speculative ventures Lavish Living Pageantry and Grandeur Children Drama DISLIKES Doing things safely Ordinary,Day to day living Small minded people Penny pinching Mean spiritedness PROBLEMS THAT MAY ARISE FOR YOU, AND THEIR SOLUTIONS As with all sun signs, we all have unique traits to our personalities. When these traits are suppressed, or unrealized, problems will arise. However, with astrology we can examine the problem and assess the proper solution based on the sun sign characteristics. As a Leo you may see things below that really strike home. Try the solution, you most likely will be amazed at the results. If you find yourself on the receiving end of the negatives below, it is because you are failing to express the positive. Problem: Getting all upset and angry with others when things do not go the way you fully expected them too. This kind of reaction to a problem is what causes a lot of marital discord and unhappiness.Solution: You should never base all of your expectations on what you should get, but rather base them on what you can give to, or do, for those who are in your sphere of influence. You will find you have a more peaceful and happy home if you do this. Problem: You are sometimes your own worst enemy, especially so when you are striving for attention in such obvious ways that you turn off the very people you sought to impress.Solution: The first place to start is to stop trying to gain attention; give people the chance to notice the real you. Decide what it is that impresses you and you will then know what to do to impress others. Problem: Egotism, to the extent that you may be the Leo who thinks no one is quite as good at things as you are and the people around you are made to feel small through your habit of comparison. Solution: What the higher minded Leo has is a sense of self worth and of greatness, this is corrupted when you let the ego get out of hand so you should learn to walk tall by looking up to those that are 'taller' than you are. Problem: Losses in income from unwisely speculating which leads to financial ruin, as well as possible personal losses of family and friends due to a lack of concern for their financial welfare.Solution: You should always investigate all investments well before they are made, then talk it over with your spouse as to how hard the budget can be hit, before you spend the first dime. Happy Birthday Master Anakin! May the force be with you for your birthday tommorow! ~love padme xoxoxoxox Technorati Tags: astrology, Leo, birthday, blow job, blowjob

Happy HNT-in the shower

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) to everyone!! Master and I thought we would put up a picture we have wanted to put up for a while. I admit I am a bit nervous as it's a nude shot of me from the side. There are not many fully nude shots of me. I have many self body issues. I hope I can get some feedback on this photo. Master wanted this up so it's going up. It's a shower photo. I was in a hot shower one day and he surprised me. He pulled open the curtains and took a few photos of me getting clean. Then he jumped in and showered with me. I love taking a shower with Master. :) Today is pretty blah. I got my period and feel moody and bitchy. It's raining and dark out. Master is home today though so that is helping a lot. He decided to take a day off to spend with me and our kids. We plan to spend some time together. I won't be online very much today. I was told this morning that my orgasm denial is starting today til next Saturday. Master has a very night planned out for our Phantom of the Opera night. He's told me that we might be staying in a nice hotel downtown for the night. He is planning some special surprises in store for me. Master bought me the tickets to Phantom of the Opera at the Queen E Theatre for our wedding anniversary (2nd one) in April. He was waiting til the box office was open and was able to get fantastic seats. We have been looking forward to this for months. So no orgasms now til next Saturday night for me. I will be sweetly suffering for him. Master's birthday is on Saturday. I have been told I will be doing the full blow job for him that night. Every year for his birthday I give him his gift. I get down on my knees and serve him properly. I am not allowed to use my hands, only my mouth. No matter how much my jaw hurts or my gag reflex bothers me, I must suck til he cums in my mouth. I hope the weather gets better. Master was hoping to go to the Abbotsford Airshow on his birthday which is a annual event for him. He loves watching the Snowbirds. How is everyone?? I feel so moody. I wish Master would just spank me hard to relief the tension and pms symptoms. I am craving a spanking so bad. May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: HNT, Abbotsford Airshow, snowbirds, orgasm denial, spanking, shower, nude

Sometimes you just need a spanking

Sometimes you just need a spanking. I know I did last night. I got spanked very hard last night and needed it. Today I feel like I need it again. I want to be over Master's knee. I want his hand spanking me again and again. I want to feel the sting. I want a red ass. I desire the connection and release that a spanking will bring to me. A spanking is sometimes better than an orgasm. Sometimes better than therapy. Better than drinking a glass of wine. Better than sex. A spanking is sometimes the one thing that can focus me and get me back into line and out of a dark place. It relieves my pms symptoms. It gets rid of my depression. The spankings will make me feel happier and very connected to Master Anakin. I thought I would put up a picture from our early days here at Journey at the Darkside. You can see a glimpse of my tattoo on my ankle. I love those shoes. They are hard to walk in but they look so sexy and make me feel so feminine. I hope you all enjoy the picture. HNT isn't til tommorow but I thought I'd do a preview. :) I was told by a few guys and gals too that I have a great pair of legs. What do you all think?? If anyone is trying to phone me today...our phone line was cut and there is no dial tone. The phone company is working on it. I'm going nuts not having a phone today. Yesterday was a very rough day for me. My Dad has pulled a few stunts and left me feeling hurt and upset. My mom and I got into such a serious fight that a trip was cancelled to go see her at the end of the month. I spent most of the day in tears and feeling hyper sensitive. I was in a hell of a mood. Ask anyone who I talked to yesterday how snappy I was. I have pms and the family issues make it worse. I am dealing with a lot of different things in my life. Some of it I can't discuss on this blog. I have created a private blog for myself at yahoo 360 where I am able to share more private feelings on. I have wanted another blog for a while now. I feel bad sometimes discussing my family issues on here. For those that don't know, I come from a very dysfunctional family. I was abused physically and emotionally growing up. I left home at 19 and lived in a tent for a while. My Dad is called "Mr. Soprano" by his friends and family. He is known for his very controlling personality. I grew up in an extremely strict household. Master comes from a pretty normal family. His family all seem to get along and be very bonded. His parent's have almost been together 50 years. My parents went through the nastiest divorce ever. My Dad went to jail. I had to testify. It was not pretty. I began cutting at 15 years old. I cut myself to ease the emotional pain I was in. I began cross country running and would run miles a day. I would run til I got the runner's high. It also was a way to cope. At the same time I also had an eating disorder and to this day have issues with food. I either don't eat or eat too much. If I eat too much I feel like throwing up. I have had councelling since I was in high school for this. The councelling has never been enough. BDSM has always been therapy for me. I go too long without pain and I really start to get into a dark place. I need to feel physical pain when I am in great emotional pain. Last night I wanted physical pain so badly I could taste it. I was hurting so much inside. My Dad seems to get into my soul like no one else. He doesn't even need to be talking to me and he cuts my soul out. He finds ways to reach inside of me and try to destroy me. It really hurt yesterday. I wanted to cut myself all day and was resisting the temptation. Last night Master came home and we talked about it and I told him I needed pain. So after the kid's went to bed he gave me a very hard spanking. I craved it. I wanted it so bad. I wanted to cry for him. To go til I cried. So he locked our bedroom door and told me to get naked. "Get your ass over that pillow" he ordered. He got out the riding crop. He put on some music to mask the noise and he went to town on my backside. I don't know how many I got. I didn't resist even though some were hard to take. He gave me some of his best with it. He wanted to fuck and I wasn't in the mood though. I wanted the spanking but not the sex. He was going to take me though. He likes it sometimes when I struggle and resist. There was scratching, biting, hair pulling and face slapping. It got rough but passionate. He fucked me like a wild animal. It was really incredible sex. I came twice. I fell asleep with his arms around me holding me very close and comforting me. I know last night was what I needed. I feel so much better today. I even got to chat with my sis, schiava who's on her vacation. She sent me some beautiful pictures of herself. Oh the things I would love to do with her. ;) Did everyone do Master's new spanking survey??? If you haven't please let us know on our survey what your least favorite spanking toy is. I loved hearing everyone's comments on it. Master is right. I hate that bull whip. All he has to do is threaten me and I'm in a very submissive mood. That whip left a big impression on my backside. A week to heal from the bruises and marks. It's a serious toy and not one to be taken lightly. I want to say thank you to Sexoteric Blog for putting one of the parts of our threesome post up on their blog. They have brought in a lot of traffic to our blog. We got close to 4,000 hits on our blog yesterday and today is looking great too. Thanks Sexoteric! Check it out at their blog! :) Master's birthday is this weekend! I still don't have a present for him. Almost time to go shopping. Phantom of the opera and our overnight is next Saturday. Master is telling me that after this weekend I'll be on orgasm denial all of next week. He wants me to give him a blow job for his birthday and then I'm on orgasm denial until next Saturday. The beautiful texan, Mel tagged me for a meme. I thought I had done this one before but I'm not sure. I am going to do it for Mel anyways... A) Four jobs I have had in my life: -retail -secretary -library assistant -nanny B) Four movies I could watch over and over: -any of the Star Wars movies (Especially revenge of the sith) -any of the Godfather movies -Wild Things -Million Dollar Baby C) Four places I have lived: -I've only ever lived around the Vancouver area D) Four TV shows I love to watch: -Young and the Restless -Miami Vice re-runs -Kink -Survivor E) Four places I've been on vacation: -Las Vegas -Europe (England, Paris, Germany) -Los Angeles -Oregon Coast/San Fran F) Four of my favorite websites: -Daily OM horoscope -Young and the Restless -Taken in hand -kinkycards.com G) Four of my favorite foods: -Homemade Russian perogies -M and M's -Swiss Chalet Chicken -Salmon H) Four friends I will tag: -belda -good girl -ceeci -searabbit and my friend, mary too! and anyone else who wants to do the meme!! Let me know if you do! I would love to read your answers. I) Right now I would rather be: getting spanked!!!!! Who wants to cum over and spank me??? Any volunteers?? May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: spanking, OTK, meme, cutting, Journey to the Darkside

The spanking toy you hate the most

We've added a new survey to our blog. Navigate down a little on the right hand column and you'll see it. We've asked you What's the spanking impliment you hate the most? Choose your most hated impliment(s), click submit vote, then let us know in a comment to this post just WHY you hate it. Is it too harsh? Is it too soft? Is there a story behind why you hate it? Thanks for participating. Most of those well used toys in the in your collection have a story. Why not share one of those stories with all of us? We look forward to hearing from you. pictured above is padme's most hated spanking impliment; the bull whip. It's not something to be taken lightly, nor swung without care, but when used correctly, it's power is matched by it's eroticism. It's dark and amazing. Our last survey asked you What are your favorite spanking impliments? Here are the results: The Hand got 27 percent of the vote and came in number one. Nothing like a firm hand warming up a sweet ass, plus it's always, well, handy. The paddle came in second with 15 percent, and belt and hairbrush tied with 12 percent each for third place. padme's got a variety of things going on taking up her time, so she'll be taking a back seat while I set her to deal with these things. I'll gladly be taking over blog and responding to comments until such time as padme is back on top of these things in her life. May the Force be with you. ~ Anakin Technorati Tags: spanking, spanking toys, spanking impliments

Long weekend of work and play

I am so relaxed right now. I am feeling more peace than I have felt in weeks. It's a beautiful sunny holiday Monday for Master and I. Happy holiday Monday to anyone celebrating it today!! We are just about done our cleaning of our place and basement. Our gym down in the basement looks so cool. We got rid of 2 trucks full of garbage to the dump. And got rid of lots of stuff to Value Village. All the baby stuff is now gone. I have one box with the kid's stuff now with memories. The outfit they wore home from the hospital and blankets knitted for them from their grandma and that. It was a bit hard to let go of some of the stuff but it felt good too. We have worked hard this weekend. We have played just as hard. We have had sex many times. I have been spanked many different times with different toys and his hand. I started reading a book yesterday that has been interesting. The Soul of a Butterfly by Muhammad Ali. I had watched the movie, Ali on Friday and have had this book for a while. I decided to finally start it. He was one of my favorite boxers. I am finding his story fascinating. I remember watching his fights a kid. I really like Oscar De La Hoya now too. I really enjoy getting into a good book. I havn't been on the computer much but I am really wanting to write some feelings out right now. I'm a very happy girl right now. :) We were able to get sitting for our kid's last night from Master's parent's. We wanted to pretty much get the rest of the basement cleaned out. We were both tired but were able to finish up by 8. We came up and watched Godfather 2. I havn't seen it in years but it's on my favorites list. I love the Godfather movies. I read the books. We got into a big discussion about Micheal Corleone. Was it just me or did he start to turn to the darkside? He was a really good guy in the first movie. He starts to change in the second movie. He loses Kate because of his darkside. I can never watch the scene where Fredo gets killed in the boat. There is something about it that really bothers me about it. I don't understand how Micheal was able to give that order to kill his brother. Couldn't he forgive and move on? Family is family. I don't understand that scene and it bothers me. Half way during the movie Master went and got some toys out. We talked about the darkside a bit. I saw similarities between Micheal Corleone and Anakin. I talked about Master's darkside. He got our toys onto our bed. We had some very heavy play last night. I was given the riding crop and cane very hard many times. I didn't count. I was told to get over the pillow and he started to hurt my ass with them. I felt myself craving pain last night. I really wanted to hurt. I wanted to float into subspace which I did by the time he stopped the punishment on my ass. I got a bit mouthy during the cleaning and he wasn't too happy about it. The cane taught me to watch my mouth. So did some soap. He will sometimes wash my mouth out with soap. Last night he did it after my ass got the cane and crop. He would crop my ass...then stop...then touch my pussy and finger my clit...and then cane my ass. I was in heaven and I came on his hand when he ordered me to. He fucked me so hard and he did some breath control with me. He grabbed onto my sore red ass as he fucked my doggy style. He whispered in my ear...taunting me and teasting and letting me know his dominance. Darth came out and I begged him to hurt me and he did. Ohhhhhhhh I love the darkside sometimes... Friday, Saturday and Sunday night I got spanked. My ass is very sore to sit on today and I am feeling more submissive than I have in a long time to Master. I have a intense desire to please in me. I am deeply in love with him and a very content and happy slave girl. I came a total of 6 times all weekend. We fucked a total of 4 times. My ass got spanked in total with the cane, crop, hand, belt and paddle many times. 3 heavy spankings in 3 days. I have a sore butt but a very peaceful and relaxed and submissive attitude today. It released any stress in me. I feel so much peace and submission in me. I am so focused on Master. So in love. I want to put up this picture of Anakin and padme in love. That is exactly how I feel right now. We are planning to take our kid's to the park and then come back and watch Godfather 3 tonight. I can't help but think of my sis, schiava over in Italy as I watched the movies. I want to dedicate a love song to Master Anakin today. It's from the Godfather movies. It's a love song and it reminds me of my love for him...I am so in love with my dear Anakin today...my submission for him so deep in me...my love so strong...my force through him. Speak Softly Love -Andy Williams Speak softly love and hold me warm against your heart I feel your words the tender trembling moment start We're in a world, our very own Sharing a love that only few have ever known Wine colored days warmed by the sun Deep velvet nights, when we are one Speak softly love so no one hears us but the sky The vows of love we make we'll live until we die My life is yours, and all because You came into my world with love so softly love Wine colored days warmed by the sun Deep velvet nights, when we are one Speak softly love so no one hears us but the sky The vows of love we make we'll live until we die My life is yours, and all because You came into my world with love So softly love May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: Godfather, Muhammad Ali, spanking, subspace

Sugasm #41

This week’s best of the sex blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Want in Sugasm #42? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set. Mr. Sugasm himself 73% of American’s Hate Porn (http://sugarbank.com) NSFW Pics (and a Podcast) Amanda (http://hotboxbabe.thumblogger.com) It’s Thursday! Happy HNT! (http://darkside-journey.blogspot.com) Nora Marlo self portraits (http://eroticandy.blogspot.com) Splish Splash (photos/podcast) (http://bedroomradio.blogspot.com) Thoughts on Sex and Relationships Does Size Matter? (http://sexeteria.blogspot.com) Insatiable: How to Date a Nympho (http://sabrinainstockings.com) Oh Kegels, How I Love Thee (http://blog.babeland.com) On My Way to Sex Rehab (http://theholidaylife.blogspot.com) Rockin’ – Not Humpin’ – In the Free World (http://cuntinglinguist.blogspot.com) Straight, Male, Talking About My Sexuality (http://www.realadultsex.com) Take Naked Pictures of Your Girlfriend (http://myhotbox.blogspot.com) Thank God for Sex (http://totalsensuality.blogspot.com) The thinky and the kinky: qualities of attraction (http://junohenry.wordpress.com) Humor Film Fridays 33 - Internet Dating (http://shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com) The Top 30 Most Annoying Things About Porn (http://www.msnaughty.com/blog) Why Don’t I Ever See Porn Stars On the Golf Course? (http://sugarjoy.com) Sex Work Crossover Fetish Subs are Twice as Weak (http://www.ladyevilsdungeon.com/evil_domme) Dumb Ass white boi! (http://www.spoiledebonyprincess.com/princess-blog ) Smoking Fetish (http://radicalvixen.com/blog) More SugasmJoin the Sugasm (Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.) Sex News and Sexy Reviews August Contest - Story Time (http://sin.typepad.com/shauna_by_night) Half-Nekkid and Loving Himself (http://www.TarasNaughtyShop.com) Review: The Wolf Summers By ElSol (http://anawtymouz.blogspot.com) Straight Porn Review: Briana Banks… a.k.a. Filthy Whore 3 (http://blog.johnqafterhours.com) Erotic Writing and Experiences 8/1 by Rex: That Wonderful Ass (http://rexandroxy.blogspot.com) Aerosmith (http://totalsensuality.blogspot.com) Clothing Optional (http://tangysweet.blogspot.com) The First ‘Threesome’ (http://lumpesse.com) F♥ck Bunny (http://femmefataleteen.blogspot.com) Last night (http://orgasmcurious.blogspot.com) A Most Proper Text Message (http://damnjezebel.com/diary) No Niceties (http://fourstate.blogspot.com) Statuesque (http://www.asstr.org/~gentlebutfirm) Through the Green Door (www.TaraTainton.com) Voyeuristic Dream (http://dawnndirty.blogspot.com) Yes. I Like Girls. (http://xantasia.blogspot.com) BDSM and Fetish The Honeymoon Part I (http://redvelvetropeburn.com) Introducing people to rubber kink (http://www.dangerousfemme.com) Open Panties (http://natalieslingerie.blogspot.com) Pain Slut- A Fantasy (http://designingintimacy.blogspot.com) Webcam Session with an Old Man (http://www.caramelvixen.com/vixen-blog) Pretty pic of Amanda posing in the field courtesy of Hot Box Babe.

Star Wars Meme

My padme and I will not be online for the remainder of today and tomorrow, as we have a long weekend and are working on our place full time on various in home projects, including our basement. My padme's got a sore ass today after some spankings last night. My padme created this Star Wars Meme and she was curious to know my answers, so here goes. My answers for My padme's Star Wars Meme: 1. Who is your favorite character on Star Wars? Anakin/Darth Vader 2. Who is your favorite couple on Star Wars? Anakin and padme, of course. 3. Which character do you feel you relate to the most? Anakin, in his obssessive, possesive devotion to his padme, and his resisting his own dark side, but knowing that it is there. 4. Who most on Star Wars deserved a spanking? or which character would you have liked to get spanked from? Princess Leia *so* needed a spanking from Han Solo. He should have just put her over his knee during one of the several times she was giving him attitude. 5. Which Star Wars movie was your favorite? Episode III, Revenge of the Sith, to see the transition of Anakin into Darth Vader, and the tying together of all the storylines to meet up with my close second favorite, Episode IV, A New Hope. 6. Which Star Wars movie was your least favorite? Episode I, the Phantom Menace, seemed to me to lack the charm of most of the other episodes, and that stupid Jar Jar binks made me want to puke! 7. Do you wish there were more Star Wars movies coming in the future? God yes, a trilogy sequal to that follows the original three episodes would be HEAVEN to me. There are many storylines to continue despite there being "balance" in the force in the end. 8. How old were you when you first watched a Star Wars movie? Well, the first movie came out in 1977 so I would have been 11 or 12. For an 11 or 12 year old boy, Star Wars was something of a quality and adventure I had never seen before; I was awestruck; I somehow talked my parents into letting me see the movie 12 times that summer. I had an original Star Wars poster, the bubble gum cards, god, I was hooked. It's a great part of my youth, dreaming of being Luke Skywalker, having a lightsaber, and saving the universe. 9. Who do you like the least on Star Wars? Jar Jar fucking binks. Completely lacking in any Star Wars cool factor, and equally lacking in any cuteness factor of say the Ewoks or even R2-D2. 10. What's your favorite scene in a Star Wars movie? God, just one? I love most scenes, though some I've seen too many times to really have any objectivity about them, but for pure nostalga, when Luke blew up the Death Star, when Darth Vader tossed the Emperor over the railing and saved his son, and the scene on the lava planet when Anakin said, "If you're not with me, then you're my enemy." in a most Domly voice and intense manner. 11. What's your favorite Star Wars quote? Alec Guiness when he (Obi-Wan Kenobi) said to Luke "The Force will be with you, always." in an etherial voice from beyond the grave when Luke was trying to blow up the Death Star. I always wanted my own X-wing fighter after that. 12. What's your favorite planet in the Star Wars universe? God! Tough question's, padme? I think Coruscant looked like a cool, techno city to hang out in. A vacation on padme's home planet looked cool, too. May the Force be with you, always. ~Anakin Technorati Tags: Star Wars Meme, Star Wars

Meme from annissa

I got tagged from my friend, annissa. I really love annissa's blog and if you havn't please check it out. I've been reading her blog for a long time. I've seen this meme around during my blog reading this morning. I think it's making the rounds. :) I wanted to put up another photo from my Oregon/San Fran trip last month. This was a beautiful shot of the Oregon Coast. We saw some beautiful scenery driving down the pacific coast highway. I hope one day to make it back to Oregon. I had a really wonderful night with Master Anakin last night. I was spanked with his belt and his hand. He was gentle but yet dominant with me. My ass was rising to meet his belt over and over again. I have a belt fetish and I love it crossing my ass. He fucked my ass last night. I love anal now. Anal sex used to be one of my limits early on in our relationship. Now I beg for it. I love the feel of his cock in my ass. I had a huge orgasm and we fell asleep holding each other. It was a perfect play night. I'm a very happy and submissive girl today. We've grown so close this week. Last Friday encouraged us to do a lot of communicating and growing in our M/s roles. I feel so much love for Master right now. Last night was really wonderful and I woke up a very happy and content slave girl. :) I won't be online very much today. I was glad to get up early to get some blog reading done. We plan to start working on our basement today. We have a truck coming on Monday to take away all our garbage which has been collecting in a big pile. We are throwing out so much stuff. The kid's have outgrown many of the baby things and whatever S didn't want, we are getting rid of. It's a big project. The basement really needs a good cleaning and I am dreading this job but yet looking forward to how clean it's going to look and organized. Thank you to everyone who commented on my blog posts yesterday. I want to thank everyone who takes the time to comment on Journey to the Darkside. I try to respond to every comment but sometimes it's hard to keep up with. Please know that I read every comment. Some of them I read many times. Master and I really appreciate the feedback. Thank you all, dear reader's!! I would love to hear from a lurker or two. :) A congratulations to Griz and good girl who reached the 100,000 milestone on their blog. Here's the meme from annissa. Thanks for tagging me!! Once you have been tagged, you have to write a post with 8 facts/things/habits about yourself and say who tagged you. In the end, you will need to choose the 6 people you tag and list their names. No tag backs. 1. I love to cook and try new recipes. I enjoy making things from scratch including homemade perogies. It is a tradition to include Russian foods in our Christmas meals. I have a huge collection of spices from Epicure which I use for my cooking. I have been cooking since I was very young and used to cook for my family when my mom worked. I find cooking very relaxing. 2. I love going to the beach. I love the ocean air and fish and chips and salt water. 3. I am a semi-vegetarian. My sister is a full one. I don't eat any red meat. I eat chicken and fish mostly. Salmon is my favorite. 4. I love to box and have been boxing since I was 12 years old. It was a way to get all my anger that was building inside of me out during my childhood. I love to watch boxing also. My dream was to try to go into it professionally. I loved that movie, Million Dollar Baby! 5. I love to watch movies and we have a very extensive DVD collection. 6. I was giving my first spanking at 16 years old from a boyfriend. I was still a virgin at the time. He used a ping pong paddle on my ass. I started having fantasies of spanking from that point but kept it a secret til many years later when I got together with Master Anakin. 7. I went to college to be a librarian. I only got half way through the course. I had to leave home at 19 due to the abuse going on in my home and couldn't afford to keep going. My biggest regret is that I didn't find a way to finish the course. 8. I met the Queen many years ago and got to shake her hand when she was here on one of her trips. I am very interested in the Royal Family. I have many books about the history on the Royal family. I was devestated when Princess Diana died. I'm going tag: Melanaise good girl Stiletto Girl Adam belda my friend, Mary and anyone else who wants to do the tag who hasn't already!! I've been told I will be cleaning up some of the basement naked today. We have sitting today and Master wants to make the most of our time together with some play as well as work. He's promised me more attention on my ass too!! I hope everyone is having a very good weekend. I know I am having a really relaxing long weekend. :) May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Threesome with Master Anakin and Master R...

I was talking to Master R yesterday when he asked me why I have not posted any details from Friday night. He was saying to me that I should post what I am comfortable with. People don't need to know everything. He suggested sharing the few things I am comfortable with others knowing. It's been a week and I've been trying to sort out my feelings with everything that happened. I know many people are curious to know the details. I decided after talking to Master Anakin and Master R to share a few with you all. This threesome was very different for me than others I have had in the past. In the past there was a sex rule with no penetration. This rule was let go for the night last Friday. This was a very sexual threesome. There was some intense sexual things that happened. I have had a threesome with Master and nikki but that was so different. With two women there is often tenderness and being gentle. There was no gentle play last Friday. It was a brutal scene. I was fucked and used hard. I was taken over the limits. I had asked to go over the limits. I begged for it. All day last Friday I was writing e-mails to Master Anakin and talking on the phone with Master R. I was feeling some emotional pain and asked them both to give me a lot of physical pain. The masochist in me was screaming for pain. I waned to go deep into our play. Made to feel like a actual slave. I wanted a very heavy level of play. I asked Master Anakin for Darth to cum out. I was so nervous all day getting ready for it. We got our kid's away for the night and headed for Miami Vice at the movie theatre. I was wearing a summer dress that Master Anakin likes. It is blue and white and looks very innocent. It has sunflowers on it. I was told to not wear any panties. I could feel the air go up through my dress at times. He asked me to wear one of my very white frilly lace bras that I have. I was given a OTK spanking before we left to get me into line and focused. Master Anakin went over the rules in the car. I was wet even before we arrived for the movie. Master R was already in the theatre waiting for us. He gave me the biggest smile I have ever seen when he saw what I was wearing. He told Master that it was a good choice. I looked extremely innocent for them both. My hair was done up in curls that night also. I used the curling iron to get lots of curls. I had just dyed my hair very light blonde and I love how it made me feel that night. I felt sexy and dangerous and yet innocent. During several parts of the movie even though it was a full house one or each other them would touch my thighs and try to feel up my skirt a bit. I was extremely aroused at this point. I was disappointed by the Miami Vice movie. We left and I admit to being in a bit of a mood. I was really looking forward to it and expected more from it. I was given over to Master R to drive back with him. Master took his car. We talked and at one point I was told to masturbate for him. I lifted my dress and started touching myself. "No cumming, dear sin" he said with a sadistic laugh. He was clearly enjoying himself. I could see a hard on even through his shorts. We got back and everything was cleaned up from my chores from the day. We put on a porno and music. The Smirnoff Vodka came out of the freezer. I know this was a bad move but I was so nervous. I downed three shots right away. I admit that almost every single threesome I have had, I need vodka. Vodka brings out a very sexual woman in me. Maybe it's the fact that I am Russian. I really turn into a slut with it in me. I do some very naughty things. I havn't shared with the blog yet how naughty I can get. Anyone listening to me though last Saturday for our Star Wars spanking party knows that it goes to my crotch and I want to get naughty. I was naughty throughout the party with the vodka. I went to get changed into my naughty school girl outfit and thong. The black bag came out and both of the men looked through it looking at different toys. I could hear them both testing out certain toys. I could hear a slap of wood against a palm and a riding crop whishing through the air as I was walking up the stairs. I got very nervous. I went up and got ready. I put on my strawberries and cream lotion that Master Anakin loves. I was instructed to put a butt plug up my ass which I did. I got ready and came down to them both smiling at me. I wondered what both of them were up to. I stripped for both of them. Stripping with a butt plug up the ass is a bit hard. I felt embarrased but yet excited. Some ACDC was playing. Master's favorite type of music. Makes me feel in a wild mood. The vodka flowed. Master R only had one shot because he was driving and drank water for the rest of the night. Both Master and I drank a lot. Things got very dizzy for me at one point. I was told to bend over and they both spanked me at different times. The butt plug came out just before the first spanking. Hands on my ass. I didn't know whose hand was spanking my ass at times. I know my ass felt reddened and I was wanting to please them both. I got down on my knees. I pleasured both of them with my mouth. I got them both very hard. I heard them both moaning a bit. I was feeling so much like a masochist at this moment. I went over and got the bull whip. We had bought it for show many years ago. Master Anakin looked a bit surprised by this. He has told me he wasn't expecting to use that on me. "You want a real whipping, slave?" he asked me. His eye brows raised and he looked very horny to me. He had a few shots of vodka and Master is not used to hard liquor. I could tell Darth had cum out. I can always see it in his eyes. He grabbed me by my blonde hair and we all went upstairs. Master R grabbed his riding crop and a few other toys I didn't see. I had several shots of vodka before going upstairs. I knew I was pretty drunk at this point. The vodka was going to my pussy and I wanted to fuck bad. I wanted to cum. "I think slut wants a really good whipping. She's going to feel her Master's whip" Master Anakin said in his Darth tone. Master R told him to whip me hard. We went upstairs. I was naked at this point. I was handcuffed like in this picture to our solid loop that is between our bed and bathroom. Master Anakin put that up so I can be strung up during my spankings. He likes it because I am vulnerable. I can't protect my ass or tits or any other part of the body he wants to punish or use. I was whipped with the riding crop from Master R and end of the bull whip by Master Anakin. I went into a very deep subspace at this point. I honestly never felt anymore pain after the 20 strokes with both toys. 10 with the crop. Then 10 with the whip. One had hit my back and that one made me fall into one of the deepest subspaces I have ever felt. The vodka hit me at the same time I was getting whipped. I was told later that I asked for more and more. I wanted to feel the sting of the whip more. I know the pain and pleasure blended together at this time. He whipped me harder than he's ever whipped me before. I would feel a bull whip against my thigh and then a sqeeze of my nipple. I have no idea who did what to me. Hands were everywhere. I lived many fantasies last Friday. I know I screamed out many times but the music was loud. Master wanted to see how far he could take it with me. He knows a real masochistic soul is in me. I desire real pain. He started to whip me harder and harder. Then they would stop and feel mysoaking wet pussy. I was taken down at one point. I had lost track of time at this point. It was all blurry for me. I was fucked by Master R at that point. He fucked me doggy style. I know I lived out a very erotic fantasy at this point. I'd like to leave it to the reader's imagination what happened while Master R was fucking me. It was a very sexual moment for me and one I will never forget. There are a few details I like to keep hidden. *winks* :) I have no idea how many times I was whipped. My whole backside was bruised and welted the next day. There was some blood. I came several times throughout the night. My pussy loved the whipping. I had one orgasm that went straight to my head. It was amazing!! Master R had to leave early. I don't remember him leaving. I know some details are hard to remember for me. I don't remember feeling any pain. I was whipped more after Master R left. I was told that I begged for it. Master Anakin came on me after whipping me with the bull whip. He jacked off all over my tits and back. My hair had his cum in it when I went to bed because it was so sticky the next morning. He put me to bed. I don't remember honestly how I got into bed. I slept like a rock. The next day though I woke up in terrible physical pain. I know the play went over some limits. I asked for intense play and got it. I have always wanted a real whipping. To really feel like a absolute slave. I felt so slave like last Friday. I got some very intense pain. It was difficult to sit on the computer chair for the Star Wars party last Saturday night. And I got more spankings that night!! I honestly don't know how I took it all. I know I crashed hard on Monday from it all. This blog has helped me to write out some feelings. Master R and Master Anakin and I have all discussed Friday night and come to some conclusions. I have agreed with Master R that we need a bit of a break. We will remain in touch as friend's though. He has made me promise to not close any doors. Many might not understand but he's always been my friend. He knows me very well. He knows even my deepest darkest fantasies. He has stuck by me through many difficult times. I don't like to close doors on friendships unless it really needs to end. Master Anakin and I have had many talks about Friday night. It was good for us to open the doors of our communication. Some things were great about Friday night. Others didn't work so well. Master Anakin and I are on the right track. We have a long weekend coming up (BC Day is on Monday) and we plan to spend some time together. We are going to be working on our basement. We are cleaning it up and getting organized. We have sitting tommorow. A day with no kids!! We also plan to have some play to get back into it again. Tonight we have some play time scheduled. I am craving his hand on my backside. He's told me he will start gentle with me. We will build up the intensity very slowly. Our M/s is getting back on track again too. I'm a very happy girl today. I chatted with my sis, schiava. She's meeting her Master tommorow. I am so excited for her. She wasn't able to chat long. I sure miss her a lot. I hope she has a wonderful weekend. I'll be thinking of her and her Master together. I hope to hear all the details of their time together. I wish I could be in the room watching them together. I love to watch others playing or fucking. How is everyone? What's everyone's plans for the weekend? Anyone seeing the last fireworks on Saturday? Anyone getting spanked? Or plans to spank someone? Anyone else horny? I sure know I am today. Writing out the details of Friday made me wet. I might deny it but my body betrays me. That whipping fantasy still turns me on so badly. Thinking of him using his whip on me makes me so damn wet. The bruises have healed and I want to play again with the whip. I am not sure I understand myself sometimes. Why I crave the darkside fantasies. Why I want to go over to the darkside more. I desire a level of slavery that I think is crazy sometimes. He can't keep me chained up in the basement 24/7. Although I've had that fantasy too!! I better go take a cold shower now!! padme's horny!! Look out!! May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: threesome, sex, slavery, spanking, OTK, subspace, Journey to the Darkside, darkside

It's Thursday!! Happy HNT!!

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) to everyone!! Master Anakin worked on this HNT picture for about a half hour yesterday. This is a picture taken a few months ago that we havn't put up yet. He made my red thong look pink to match my pink wild socks. You get a tease of my pussy. *winks* I don't like to put up full pussy photos but to leave something to the person's imagination. Of course there are a few exceptions. There has been a few people to see the pictures of my very wet and needy pussy. So what do you all think of the photo?? I would love some feedback on it. The results are in and my sister is NOT pregnant!! She is disappointed but it wasn't meant to be right now. She's off the pill now so hopefully that will happen at some point. I told her that sometimes it takes a while for the pill to get out of a person's system and for her to get normal cycle's too. I think she's late because her body is adjusting to going off the pill. I am still hoping I will be a Auntie one day soon! I feel a lot better today mentally and physically. I feel more centered. I plan to have another talk with Master R. He has asked me to not close any doors. I did a lot of soul searching the last few days. There is a history with Master R and I. He's been my friend since 1997. We have gone through periods of time we didn't talk for our own reasons. I havn't been a easy person to be friend's with. After my rape I was a basketcase and he stood by me. I don't like to close door's on my friendships with people. He told me he disappeared for a few days because his wife was home and they were spending some time together and he hadn't checked the computer. He's trying to get better with not disappearing on me. This time was only a few days. I know many of my friendships where people disappear for days because of R/t stuff going on. I am hoping we can find a middle ground. I have many internet friend's but Master R is a friendship outside of this blog. He knows all about me and my history. He's supported me for years. I was glad he phoned yesterday so we could talk through some stuff. I fully admit sometimes I jump to conclusions. I am not a patient girl. I'm trying to work on this about myself. Last night Master spent some time on the computer. He wanted me off. I was to rest and have a hot bath and shave my pussy for him. He added some more pictures to flirkr and also chatted with Adam and helped him out with something he needed help with. He also did the work for this sexy HNT photo I am putting up today. We put our son to bed and went upstairs and put on some candles. We put on a porn on our DVD/Tv in our room. He put on some music. He wanted classical music. I was wearing my black silk nightgown. He was in his Daddy blue shirt and Cornoa boxers. He was having a beer but I was not drinking. I am trying to do detox my system this week from the drinking last weekend. I love tasting beer on his lips. His hard cock rubbing against me. He grabbed my ass and then started to take down my strap. He got me naked in front of him. We did some breathing like in our tantra books to get us relaxed. We both got massages with the tantra oil from Saje. I find this always gets me into the mood quickly. We did a lot of feeling each other and foreplay and kissing. We enjoy some things we have learned from our tantra books. It adds to the experience. We don't like to rush sex. It was really a connecting evening with us last night. I felt so in tune to him. Then he gently pushed me onto the bed. He went down on me. He doesn't do much oral on me. This felt like heaven. I moaned and got wet for him. I came after a few minutes of his rough tongue doing it's magic on my clit and pussy. Then he got on top of me and made love to me. He was very hard...very ready. We moved in motion together. Two bodies become one. He kissed me and grabbed my throat. He gave me a big hickie. He kissed and licked my erect nipples. He looked deep into my eyes...my soul. He came with a grunt and called me His padme. "You are MY padme" he said with his Anakin voice. It was strong but yet gentle. I love my Master so much. We go through many bumps on our journey but we always come through it stronger. I feel like I have learned a lot about our M/s the last week. He told me last night that I did encourage that whipping I took. The truth is yes, I wrote him e-mails asking for Darth to come out. I begged for rough sex. I asked for more when he wanted to stop at one point. I handed him the bull whip. That was the toy I begged him to use on me. He told me he wanted to use his belt and the paddle. He was worried about the whip too. We both agreed that it got far based on a lot of drinking that was happening that night too. He's not used to drinking and was having vodka shots. I was also intoxicated. I think we both learned from it. We plan to do some gentle play this weekend as it's the long weekend coming up. I can't wait to spend some time with him. Next weekend is his birthday. I really hope to plan something special for it. Any ideas from anyone?? Anyone have any ideas for a new survey question? We are hoping to do one of those too this weekend. Yes, our play got over the line and right now we are doing a lot of communicating about it. Darth has gone away for a bit while we are figuring it out and reconnecting. I know that I don't want Darth to go away forever. My slavery heart needs to feel some pain and I need to feel controlled. I am happier when he's making the decisions and running our household. When he's spanking my ass or using his flogger on my nipples. After our love making last night we got ready and got into bed. He spooned me. It really was exactly what I needed. To feel his love and have some private time together. I'm a happier and more content girl today. I even admit I am a bit horny still today. *winks* You all know what happens when padme gets horny... don't ya???? May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: HNT, sex, Photoshop, thong, pregnancy

Emotional roller-coaster...

I watched the movie Final Desination 3 yesterday on DVD. It reminds me of my life right now. A roller-coaster ready to crash. I didn't want to do a blog post. I have been mostly trying to avoid the computer yesterday and today. Master Anakin wanted me to write my feelings out for him. So this blog post today is going out to him. I was reading a blog post today from good girl which described some of my own feelings today. I really feel out of control today. My emotions are all over the place. I am hanging on by a thread. I don't remember the last time I felt like this. It's so bad that I have had to tell my sister and S that I am not myself. I am not eating much and stopped boxing and havn't been taking very good care of myself. Master and I's M/s (Master and slave lifestyle) has also been on a roller coaster. With our vacation it pretty much stopped and we were slowly getting back into things when Master R appeared in the picture. Master R came back into my life after a time that I was accepting the fact we would not be together anymore. The night of the fireworks (last Wednesday) was a really nice night. Friday though is a different story. I really have not wanted to blog about it. I am trying to deal with my emotions from everything that happened. I could write a fantasy post about how hot a night it was...but I don't feel it went that way. The truth is...I drank too much that night. Our play got way too intense and heavy. I have bruises on my back, ass and thighs still today. It's been 3 days and I am still covering up with having to wear pants instead of shorts. I feel almost embarrased by everything that happened. Master Anakin turned to the dark side on Friday night. Darth came out. I asked for Darth. I wanted to be used hard. I wanted to be fucked hard. I wanted a heavy level of play. I would have safe worded if I was not intoxicated. I know that now. We have a safe word. I am still trying to come to terms with our play that night. He was drinking too that night. Our play went over some limits. That's only happened a few times. I think perhaps it scared us both. Master has been emotionally distant since our play Friday night. Friday got out of control in my opinion. The vodka went to my crotch and I thought I could handle the intense scene we all shared. There was some very intense sexual things that happened on Friday night. Things I just don't feel comfortable sharing with many people. I wonder if others have experienced this. Can anyone give me any advice? What happens when the play gets too rough? Was this reaction due to my rape? I've had some flashbacks the last few days. I think I am still dealing with stuff from my past. Will I ever be over what happened with D?? My relationships with men in my life have all been very complicated. I don't have a relationship with my Dad right now. My brother and I are pretty distant from how close we used to be. I havn't had many male lovers in my life. I am not used to sex with someone regularly who I am not supposed to have feelings for. I've been told that it's impossible to not have feelings for Master R. I have had two one night stands in my life. I am just not used to this type of relationship. This feels like a cycle to me. He comes into my life during vulernable times and then disappears after having some heavy play with me. I was whipped hard by them both and it was a very intense experience that I will never forget. Master R has disappeared since Friday night. He left without a goodbye to me and has not returned several e-mails to me. It's left me feeling more vulnerable and used than I have felt in a long time. I am so tired of this emotional roller coaster I have been on with Master R. I have really done some reflecting today on our special friendship. It hasn't made me feel very good about myself. He came back into my life during a vulnerable time for me. I am really not dealing with it all very well. I lost my good friend, Master Mark and was dealing with his passing when Master R jumped back into my life. I think he was looking for some play and escape while his wife was away. I let him back into my life physically and emotionally. He's disappeared again like he's done to me many times. I could maybe handle it years ago but I am older and not looking for a fuck friend. I was looking for more mature relationships in my life. To have some feelings behind the people that I am intimate with. Maybe Master R or others can fuck and have no feelings about it. I havn't had many lovers in my life. I am different that way. I have had Master R disappear on me sometimes for long stretches of time. The coming into and out of my life has taken it's toll on me this time. It's left me feeling in a million pieces. I admit that I am having a lot of emotions swirling around in me from anger to frustration to embarrasment. Some people warned me last week to be careful and I didn't listen. I jumped in without thinking of the consequences. I am a person who likes to live in the moment and deal with it emotionally later. I am questioning my sanity. We played on a heavy level that many would not understand. I am not sure I understand it myself. The vodka made me feel no pain and I drank a lot that night being so nervous about the evening with Master R and Master Anakin. I know many will say I shouldn't have drank so much. I did because of my butterflies in my tummy. I woke up Saturday in a lot of physical pain. I felt like I had been in a car crash or something. My bruises horrified me instead of arouse me. I couldn't sit for two days. The emotional pain has been intense the last few days. I really am not dealing with it all very well. I hope others understand if I am not online very much or distant. I am trying to sort my feelings out. Master Anakin and I have not been intimate since the party. I need him to be gentle right now with me. He whipped me harder with the authentic bull whip we have than I have ever been in my life. Even the cane didn't hurt that bad ever. It was very intense. I had a fantasy of being strung up and whipped like O in the Story of O. Fantasy is a bit different than reality though. I really need him right now to tell me that everything will be ok. Just like in that picture I put up today. I need to make love to him. I need his force right now. My force feels weak. Master and I have gone through the bumps on our journey. We have gone through many things in our relationship. We love each other so much and I am really needing him right now. I'm a bit afraid of Darth right now. I would like Anakin to be here right now. I really need my Annie... He knew I had to write my feelings out tonight. He knows I have not been myself. We had a long talk last night and we plan to tonight when the kid's go to bed. I am very depressed. I am not sure how much I will be blogging for the next little while. I am really trying to sort some issues out in my life. I am still dealing with the death of my good friend. I am not in a good place. I need to find some peace in my life. I need to find a resolution with my friendship with Master R. I know I can't do this emotional roller coaster anymore. It's draining the life out of me... I was listening to a Sarah McLachlan song tonight and it reminds me a bit of what I am feeling... Though I've tried, I've fallen I have sunk so low I have messed up Better I should know So don't come round here And tell me I told you so... May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: depression, blogging, The story of O