Happy New Year!!

Only 2 days until New Year's eve! I wanted to do a final blog post for 2006 today. I am taking the weekend off to spend it with Master Anakin. He's off work today and we plan to do a few projects around the house and get ready for the new year. It's a very exciting weekend ahead for us. UFC 66 is tommorow and the big fight with Liddell against Ortiz. We've been looking forward to it for weeks!! We plan to watch that live on pay per view. Sunday is New Year's eve and we have an overnight planned for our son that night. Our daughter is still with my ex til after the new year. I had thought we would just do dinner and a movie but Master has told me we are going out for a really nice dinner to the Keg and then some dancing. I can't wait!! I think New year's eve is one of the most romantic nights of the year and I'm so glad to be spending it with Master. We already have a bottle of champagne chilling for when we get home that night. I hope we can do something similar as last year and I get a hard spanking to ring in the new year!! I am craving a spanking right now!! A sore ass is a great way to bring in the new year. I am putting up a picture Master did last year for the New year. I think it's a sexy one. :) I also wanted to put up a countdown clock that I found on Cain's blog this morning. I think it's very neat. So what are everyone's plans for new year's eve? Anyone else going out for dinner and dancing? Anyone else plan on drinking champagne? Anyone else going to get a spanking? 2006 has been quite a year for Master Anakin and I. We have gone through ups and downs on our Journey and we are both looking forward to a brand spanking new year in 2007!! As of Jan. 1st I will be going back onto my diet and getting back into boxing again. I have really missed it lately and watching Rocky Balboa inspired me to get back into the boxing. I gained a few pounds during the last few weeks and I want to get rid of the extra holiday weight. Please vote on our New year's survey if you havn't had the chance. It's about new year's resolutions. We want to thank all our reader's for joining us on our Journey this last year. We look forward to a year ahead with many new and exciting things planned for our blog. Best wishes to everyone for a happy HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Please leave us a comment. We would love to hear from you!! May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Favorite HNT picture of 2006

Christmas is over and New Year's Eve is just around the corner. This is the time of the year I tend to do a lot of reflecting and start making my New year's eve resolutions. I put up a new survey today for New year's. What are your top New year's resolutions? Please try our new survey in the side bar and let us know. Leave us a comment also letting us know. I'm curious. I am hoping to get back on my diet in the new year and also back into my boxing. I'd also love to be spanked more but that's up to Master Anakin. :) We did a Christmas survey and the results of that were that 16% of you enjoy having sex and 14% enjoy getting or giving a spanking for Christmas. I know I was getting spanked and also having lots of incredible sex through Christmas. What about you? Who else got a spanking for Christmas?? We put up a survey and asked all of you what your favorite HNT picture of 2006 was here at Journey to the Darkside. We got 62 votes on this survey!! The most ever for any survey. Thank you to everyone who voted. We really appreciate the feedback! Bottom and belt got 9% of the votes and we have put up that picture for today's end of the year HNT picture. This picture is one of my favorites also. It was a spur of the moment picture of me laying on the bed in my pink heart panties and nike socks just after getting Master Anakin's belt. My ass was cherry red and I was still over the pillow. We enjoy taking the HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) pictures and look forward to putting up more in 2007! We are almost at 800,000 hits on our blog. Thank you to everyone who has joined us on our Journey this year. I am really excited about the new year and have new interviews and more gratitude tuesday and much more in store for Journey to the Darkside. Stay tuned! Thank you to everyone who sent christmas greetings!! I really enjoyed getting the e-mails and e-cards from everyone! Thank you also to everyone who left comments on our HNT christmas greetings post. I appreciate all the comments so much. I had a wonderful Christmas. This was above all the best Christmas ever for me. There was no family problems or drama this christmas. In the past there has always been some sort of family issues going on around the holidays. Friday was really nice. Master Anakin was home and we had a quickie before our kid's came home from school. We went out to visit both of our grandma's. I had a really nice visit with my Dad and brother. This was my brother's first Christmas clean and sober. I was very proud of him. I got to visit with an Uncle who I hadn't seen since I was a kid. My grandma was still a bit ill but she hung in there for a visit. Saturday was our turkey dinner with Master's parent's. We had so much food and enjoyed a visit with them. Sunday we opened gifts with our children as our daughter was leaving to go to my ex's. Our son was so excited to get a Wii. The Wii's are very hard to get and Master had to stand in a line-up at Best Buy for many hours to get it for him. Our son was so excited about the holidays this year and I loved seeing his reactions to different things. Our daughter got a iPod nano. We got many different gifts this year. I want to thank Griz and good girl for their very nice Christmas gift to us. We got a $50 dollar gift certificate for JT's Stockroom and a brand new swede flogger from them. We'll have to take a picture of it for everyone. It's beautiful and Master used it on me on Christmas eve night. I was hoping for a new flogger and our new one is so soft and a beautiful toy to be spanked with. I'm not sure yet what to spend the gift certificate on. I'm still hoping for a new tawse so who knows. :) Christmas Eve night we went to church for a candlelight service. This was the first time I've been in church since my divorce from my ex many years ago. I admit I was a bit nervous about going back. It was really nice though and made me feel very peaceful and spiritual to be there with Master. We came back and we had a very magical and romantic night together. We played with our new flogger and I got spanked hard with it. I had many amazing orgasms with my new Hitachi from JT's Stockroom. I love the Hitachi and it truly is one of the best gifts I have ever gotten. We made love to Christmas music. Candles were lit around the room and our fire going. Master was so affectionate and loving. We stayed up til midnight and then headed to bed together and fell asleep in each other's arms. Master arranged for us to go on a date on Christmas day. We went and saw the new Rocky Balboa. I loved this movie!!! I am a huge Rocky fan but was disappointed in Rocky 5. Rocky Balboa goes back to the basics and was one of the best Rocky's I have seen. I was moved to tears a few times during the movie. I recommend this movie to everyone. We came home and started celebrating. I am not used to drinking crown royal. Master Anakin and I both got pretty drunk on Christmas night. We had some very kinky sex and play and enjoyed the night. The darkside took over both of us. I had many whip marks all over my back and ass and thighs from the play. Yesterday we both woke up pretty sick though. I also got my period and between the hangover and my period I barely made it out of bed. We watched a lot of Married with Children as they had a marathon going all day yesterday. UFC 66 is this Saturday and both Master and I are so excited. It's going to be a very big fight. Chuck Liddell against Tito Ortiz. Master is cheering for Chuck and I'm cheering for Tito. Master is back at work today and tommorow and then he's off for four days for the New year's. We already have a bottle of champagne ready for New year's eve. I am really looking forward to celebrating that night with Master. I love New year's eve. It's one of my favorite nights of the year. My force feels strong. May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Happy HNT - Holiday Greetings

This is our final blog post until after Christmas. I am putting our Holiday HNT up early this week to get it up and to say Happy Holidays to everyone! We are on a holiday hiatus now with Journey to the Darkside and padme's devotions. It's a crazy time of year and we have so much to do in the next few days and many plans happening. Gratitude Tuesday (starting with the letter P), padme's interviews (I have a few interviews to put up) and new HNT and our regular blogging will be back to normal after the holidays. Right now my focus is on my sexy and wonderful Master and our children, skywalker and Leia. I put up two christmas star wars christmas videos. They are both really neat. I hope you check them out. We still have two survey's to vote on if you havn't already. The winner of the HNT favorite picture will be put up next week. If your a new reader to this blog, check out our archives. We have lots to read and look at while we are away. Today's HNT is a bit different and a really neat one to end off on for the year. It has both Master Anakin and I in it. Most of our HNT pictures were only of me this year. We are standing beside our Christmas tree. Master Anakin is dressed in black and holding our new crop. I am wearing a santa hat (although you can't see it), my black leather skirt, new christmas panties, cupcake shirt from La Senza and my brand new holiday thigh-hi stockings. We took a picture for HNT a few weeks ago of me wearing them. If you have missed any of our Holiday HNT pictures please click on: Sexy Christmas Lights Sexy candycane panties Sexy Holiday Stockings I found out some good news on Sunday. My grandma is ok!! She was released from the hospital. She was able to get some help to put up her christmas tree and we still plan to do our christmas visit on Friday. We have been doing it for years. It's a chance to visit and catch up and exchange gifts. I am very happy she's ok. I was very worried about her. She's my last grandparent and a really wonderful person in my life. I love her so much!! I am meeting my Dad and brother at my grandma's also for the visit. I havn't been that happy with my Dad the last few months but I'm making the effort as I know this will make my Grandma happy to have us all together for a visit. I am busy getting ready for our Christmas dinner with Master's parent's on Saturday. We are doing it early as my daughter leaves on Christmas eve to go to my ex's family. We split the holidays and this makes it a bit hard but we try to make the most of our time with her. The magic of Christmas this year has been my son. He's so excited and totally gets it this year. We took our kid's to look at Christmas lights on Sunday and he was beaming. I love seeing it through his eyes this year. I am feeling peaceful and happy. Normally I am very stressed but almost everything is done. All there is left to do is all my housework which I plan to do as soon as my post is done and some baking. Then all the different plans are starting. Tommorow is our son's christmas concert in school. I am really looking forward to seeing him on stage. Thursday is a dinner with friend's. Friday is my grandma's and Master's grandma's to visit. Saturday is our turkey dinner. Sunday we open gifts and plan to go to church. Monday is Christmas and we have plans to just relax and enjoy the day. This year we are doing one thing a bit different. We are planning to attend a christmas eve candelight service at a local church. I havn't been to church in years but am feeling spiritual this year. We plan to come back from church and do our private present exchange to one another. We always have a romantic Christmas eve night together. I love it. We put on candles and christmas songs and we make love and spend time together drinking wine and doing a private celebration. This is a tradition for us. We always stay up til midnight and ring in Christmas day together. I'll be making my Bah Bah's famous homemade perogies also and have a lot of different baking I plan to do. This is one of the first Christmas's that I feel really in the christmas mood. I am doing all the trimmings. I hope that all our reader's have a very happy christmas! Last weekend was very nice. I had 11 orgasms with the Hitachi which is now my favorite toy of all time. We played on Friday and Saturday night. I got spanked with a few different toys. Sunday we had a family day and went to the Old Spaghetti Factory with our kid's and then looking at christmas lights. It was a clear and crisp night and we could see the stars in the sky. It felt magical. I felt so close to Master Anakin and so much love in my heart. I am truly grateful for him and my kid's this Christmas. I am grateful for my friend's. I am grateful to all the reader's of this blog, lurkers and commenters. I really appreciate everyone being there for us on our Journey...our Journey to the Darkside. I feel in the christmas mood today...here is the lyrics to my favorite song (Something about Christmas Time by Bryan Adams) I am listening to right now: We waited all through the year for the day to appear when we could be together in harmony You know the time will come peace on earth for everyone and we can live forever in a world where we are free let it shine for you and me There's something about Christmas time something about Christmas time that makes you wish it was Christmas everyday To see the joy in the children's eyes the way that the old folks smile says that Christmas will never go away We're all as one tonight makes no difference if you're black or white 'cause we can sing together in harmony I know it's not too late the world would be a better place if we can keep the spirit more than one day in the year send a message loud and clear Chorus: It's the time of year when everyone's together we'll celebrate here on Christmas day when the ones you love are there you can feel the magic in the air - you know it's everywhere There's something about Christmas time something about Christmas time that makes you wish it was Christmas every day To see the joy in the children's eyes the way that the old folks smile says that Christmas will never go away Repeat chorus Please tell me Christmas will never go away ..... Holiday Greetings to everyone!! Please comment!! We would love to hear from everyone with today's holiday post!! What are your christmas plans? What is your favorite part of Christmas? What's your favorite holiday song? What are you looking forward to the most?? Lurkers, please come out of the shadows if only for today to say merry christmas!! It would mean so much to us both!! I also want to say Happy birthday to my kitty, Meisha. She turns 1 on Christmas eve! See you all after Christmas!! ~From Anakin and padme

Happy Holidays from Anakin and padme

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The 12 days of a star wars christmas I saw this video this morning and had to put it up. It's priceless!! A little Star wars christmas for everyone.. May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Sugasm #59

The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasmer participants. Want in Sugasm #60? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set. This Week’s Picks By Invitation Only (http://dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com)“I was being watched by a room full of people, but all I could think about was his thick cock, pounding me, his balls slapping against my ass.” Love that aural sex (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)“…The lazy way your honeyed tones flow out, saying my name, or merely whispering “Is that good, baby? You like that?” as you slide a finger in and out of me, deliberately and slowly.” What BDSM Can Tell Us All About Sex (part 1) (http://perverselypoly.blogspot.com)“That’s another form of power exchange: if I ‘let’ you have sex with someone else, it’s very different than if you sneak off and fuck that person without having permission.” Mr. Sugasm Himself Everyone Diggs Porn (http://sugarbank.com) Editors’ Choice Sandra Claus (http://secretbrain.blogspot.com) Sponsored Link G-Spot Orgasm Survey Take the G-spot survey and win one of two £100 LoveHoney sex toy shopping sprees More SugasmJoin the Sugasm (Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

A Christma's vid A really neat Christmas and Star wars video. :) Check it out! May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Hitachi Magic Wand Review

I have been wanting to do toy reviews for a long time and today is my very first one!! I have a very sexy toy review for a toy that has now become my favorite toy of all time!! Last night I got the opportunity to try out my new Christmas present from Master Anakin. We took several photos of it and I am putting one of them up with my review of the Hitachi. In the other photo is the Hitachi and JT's Stockroom catalog that came with it in the mail. I've been looking through it and dreaming of all the different things I'd like to buy one day from there. The Hitachi experience last night was honestly one of the most incredible sexual experiences I've had. I had five of the most amazing orgasms from it. We did not order the attachments with the Hiatchi but I hope to get these in the future. All the the orgasms were from clitorial stimulation. I had never heard of the Hiatchi until I talked to my good friend, good girl about it. She had done a blog post about it and I was very curious to learn more about it. I have been in the market for a good vibrator since mine has become older and doesn't work as good anymore. It doesn't have a lot of power and takes longer for me to achieve orgasms from it. We are constantly replacing the batteries for it. I asked Master for it and he ordered it last Saturday night from JT's stockroom. JT's has become one of my favorite online stores to order from. Their customer service is excellent and their products are awesome. We got very fast delivery from them. We ordered it Saturday night and got a post office receipt to pick it up on Wednesday. I recommend their products and hope to order more in the future from them. Each time I have received something from JT's, I also have gotten a tootsie roll lollipop with it which is neat also. Their packaging is discreet. I picked it up with my best friend and she had no clue what was in it. The box that the Hitachi came in said "The Hitachi Magic Wand is a two-speed massager with a soft flexible head that relaxes sore muscles, creates deep soothing vibrations, and helps relieve tension". The Hitachi can give you a nice massage or a nice orgasm. I hope to use it to massage Master Anakin tonight. It's very powerful. You plug it in and you let it go to work. The low speed is nice because it gets you very nicely worked up. I found it stimulated me like nothing else. I spread my legs and put it right on my clit and immediately got wet and aroused. As soon as the high setting was on, I was in heaven. It doesn't take a lot of work to achieve a HUGE orgasm from it. It has such a powerful motion to it and Master Anakin timed it. It took 3 minutes on the high setting to achieve a *powerful* orgasm from it which literally shook my body. I can see this is going to easily become one of my best friends. :) It is the gift which keeps on giving. I know it's going to get a lot of use. Normally I get gifts which I don't really use but I know this toy will get tons of use and I love it!! This vibrator is so easy to use. Anyone having problems achieving orgasm will love this toy. I really recommend it and hope you will consider this toy for a sexy and naughty surprise for your loved ones. :) I had five orgasms last night. My record for orgasms in one night is 5. I'd like to try to break it and I can see the Hitachi being the right toy to do that. Usually after 3 orgasms, I find myself really having to force the rest out of me but last night the Hitachi made me cum very easy and some of the most amazing orgasms I have ever had from a toy before. They don't call it the "magic wand" for nothing. It really is magic. I think it would be impossible not to cum from it with it pressing down on your clit for a few minutes. I plan to recommend this toy to my sister and others I know and to you, the reader's also. I've heard that men can use this toy also to help vibrate at the base of the cock but I have not yet used it on Master Anakin. I hope to also as I am curious to know his reaction to it. I felt so much pleasure from this toy and hope to use it again tonight to break our record of 5 orgasms. Just thinking about the pleasure it gives, makes me want to run upstairs and plug it in. There are two small drawbacks with this toy and one of them is you do have to plug it in so you can't move around with it. I'm glad about that though as there is no batteries to deal with. The other one is it's a bit loud but I don't mind as you can tell it's got a very big motor in it and gives you some of the most incredible orgasms EVER!!! It was well worth the price for the Hitachi. And a terrific Christmas present. Out of a ten, I am giving the Hitachi a 10. The reason is because I have been waiting all of my adult life for a really good vibrator to give me powerful orgasms. This honestly was one of the best vibrators I have ever used. I love that I don't have to worry about batteries. I love that I can cum again easily after a few orgasms. It felt so pleasurable and good. This has become one of my favorite toys and I hope that everyone will run out and get one. This is a terrific Christmas present to anyone!! Check out JT's Stockroom. They sell the Hitachi at a reasonable price and you can still order for Christmas up until the 22nd of December. I wanted to let people know that I won't be posting much this next week. We do have one final Holiday HNT to put up and it's a naughty one so stayed tuned for that. My interview and also Gratitude Tuesday (the letter P) will be postponed this week until after Christmas. I hope everyone understands but this is a crazy time of year. My grandma is also in the hospital and I plan to see her. I have baking, wrapping gifts, getting groceries, baking and all that stuff to do in the next week. I hope everyone has been enjoying our Journey this year and I look forward to the new year with many new changes. I am very happy to be starting a toy review section now on this blog. Master looks forward to starting up Ask Anakin also in the new year. I've missed him blogging with me. I hope everyone is having a good weekend!! We had a really amazing play night last night. I was handcuffed and put in my new nipple clamps I got from Master R. I was spanked hard with my new crop and I had five huge orgasms with the Hitachi. Master Anakin also fucked my pussy nice and hard and came huge in me. We connected and fell asleep happy and content. My force is strong and I am looking forward to another play night tonight. :) I hope everyone enjoys their holidays. Remember to be naughty as well as nice these holidays. Get your loved one a sexy toy or some hot lingerie. I love making Christmas kinky and enjoy getting new toys like the Hitachi. We wish everyone a spanky christmas!! May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: sex toy reviews, Hitachi review, Hitachi, vibrator review, vibrator, best vibrator

Day with Master R

I really didn't feel like blogging today. I got a e-mail from a my good friend, Tiggr who made me think that it might be good to blog and get some feelings out. She's a really special woman who's touched my life and I'm so thankful for her friendship. Yesterday was a really rough day for me for many reasons. I will be honest and say I'm not sure how much I will be blogging the next week or so. I've got many R/t issues going on. I was crashing hard yesterday from some very intense play with Master R. We played a level that I hadn't in years with him. We had a very bad storm blow through last night. Vancouver has had it's share of weather woes the last month. Between the wind storm which knocked our power out for days last month and a snow storm a few weeks ago, it seems to be one thing after another happening with it. We braced for a power outage but we were lucky that didn't happen. Master's work was hit hard with the storm though. Most of the storm seems over now. I'm so tired of all the weather problems lately. Click HERE to read about the storm. 200,000 lost power and I am truly amazed we were not one of those who did. I found out yesterday my grandma is not doing very well. I phoned her on Sunday to arrange our yearly Christmas get together we do with one another and heard her not sounding very well. She told me she had gotten pneumonia. I heard yesterday it got really bad and now she's in the hospital. So I am very worried about her. She's my last grandparent left and I really love her a lot. She's in my thoughts today and I am hoping she'll be ok. Yesterday I went Christmas shopping with my best friend, S. Something funny did happen while we were there. S does not know about my bdsm lifestyle or any of my kinks. We do not discuss sex and she's very prudish about it. I brought my notice to pick up my Hiatchi from the post office at the the mall to grab it while shopping. I told S I had to stop by the post office. Afterwards we were eating lunch and I could see her being curious about the parcel. I decided to share with her that I had gotten a Hiatchi Magic Wand for Christmas and was excited about it. I told S that it was for giving a really good massage. I'm not sure if she believed it but I could see her wondering about it. I also told her I had gotten from a place called JT's Stockroom. I was thinking yesterday that I wonder if she looked it up on her internet and knows that it does a lot more than massage you. lol. I was told this morning by Master Anakin that I am not to use the Hitachi until tonight. He's going to be taking photos of me using it that we plan to use in our review of it. I really need some stress relief and I need to focus on Master Anakin right now. My vibrator is so old and I've had a hard time masturbating with it lately. It feels like we are constantly replacing our batteries for it. I heard nothing but good things from my friend, good girl about it. The last day for doing Christmas shopping through JT's is Dec. 22nd for Christmas. We ordered the Hitachi last Saturday night online and I received it yesterday. It's a great gift idea for people!! I am very excited about giving it a try for the first time. Stay tuned for a review on it! Today's picture is a older HNT photo we put up but one of my favorites!! I think it's extremely erotic. Please remember to vote for your favorite HNT picture in our new survey. I know that a lot of people are curious about my day with Master R on Wednesday. I decided to share a few details about it. There are a few things I want to keep for myself but I decided to share a few of the things that happened. We did not get any photos. I had brought the camera but got so lost in our play and subspace that I forgot to ask him to take photos. Master R came by Wednesday morning to pick me up. I had the day free to spend with him and this is very rare for both of us. Master R usually is so busy and can't visit with me more than a few hours and I usually have one or more of my kid's to pick up from school or such. Master Anakin was able to arrange the day to spend together. He told me there was no limits or rules for Wednesday. This was a special type of Christmas present for me. To escape and enjoy and obey Master R. Master R came over and told me to pack a bag for our play. He told me he planned to take me to his place after Tim Hortons. He came upstairs to check out our toys. He wanted me to pack my new crop that I got for my birthday. He did a few test stokes on my ass to test it out and was impressed with it. I packed up my big black gym bag full of the different toys he requested. He was impressed with our toy collection and spent a bit of time checking several things out. He played a few mind games with me. He knows I am not comfortable with bondage with him but he packed the handcuffs and leg cuffs we have. He did a sadistic smile as he packed the cane. He watched my reactions to him putting it into the bag. I was nervous and my stomach felt a bit upset. He took me to Tims to eat breakfast and calm my stomach. He told me what I would be eating and drinking. He knows me very well. I love their double doubles. We had a really good talk and did some catching up. He allowed me to ask him three questions about himself. I was talking about trusting him and needing to know a bit more about him. I was allowed to ask him three questions which I did and he answered. He would not tell me his last name even though I asked for it. It was the one question he felt uncomfortable with. We headed to his place after breakfast. I was *extremely* nervous at this point. A part of me was wondering what the heck I was doing. I was wet and horny but also my mind was spinning wondering the different things he was going to do to me. It's been a while since I was last at his house. I admit I am very curious about him. About his life and his wife and who he is. He doesn't have any kid's and has a lot of money. We went inside and into the livingroom. It felt so strange to me to be submitting to a man who I've known for ten years almost but yet I don't even know his last name. I know he's sadistic and much different than Master Anakin. This was not about romance or love. This was going to be an intense play experience. I knew it by the way he looked at me like I was the prey. He put on some music to relax me and told me he was going into the games room to set up for our play. He told me to wait until he was ready for me. He put out a bottle of vodka and told me to drink it if I needed to and to focus on on my submission to him. He put his hand onto my face and grabbed it and made me focus on his eyes. They had one of the most intense looks I've ever seen from a Dom before. "You will come to me when I call for you. You will obey me. You will not question my orders. Do you understand?" he said sharply to me. I nodded and said "yes, Sir". I hadn't even been spanked yet but I felt like I was flying into subspace. I had a few shots of vodka and tried to mentally focus. I was wondering what he was doing. He has a games room with a juke box and an dart board and is really neat. We have fucked on that pool table before. I was nervous about going back in there, especially to play. I remembered him using his belt on my ass as I was bent over that pool table. I waited and looked around the room. I was trying to figure him out. He is the mysterious stranger who I don't really seem to know and I'm very curious to know more about him. I made a quick call on my cell phone to Master Anakin at work to make sure things were ok and to give him an update. I could tell he was very interested in what was going on. He told me that Master R was also going to spank me for him. He requested that I come back with a sore and very bruised ass. I was to take 50 with the crop for him. The rest would be for Master R. I heard Master R call to me and I hung up and went into the games room. I could see that he set up for us to play. I was stripped naked for him. I was put into handcuffs and leg cuffs which made it hard to move around. I could feel my nipples being erect. There were candles on all over the room making it feel warm and cozy but also erotic. I was bent over one of his antique chairs and given the 50 with the crop for Master Anakin. I had a hard time trying to be still for it. Master R spanks hard. There is no love or affection. It's pure discipline. I was dizzy at this point. Floating on the endorphin highway. I could hear sounds of the crop hitting my ass over and over again. Music coming from the other room. The vodka hit me around the time of my first spanking making me feel warm and aroused. Vodka always goes straight to my pussy. I tried to resist my arousal. The crop got my ass very red and ready for the cane which is Master R's favorite toy. He is an expert with it and knows just where to hit me to make it hurt and bruise deep. The caning was intense. It came down hard on my ass and hit my thighs many times. I screamed out many times. I tried very hard to get into the rhythm. I love that cane as it will leave deep bruises but hate the trying to keep still for it. I hate the pain from getting it. I came close to tears at one point. He stopped and told me he had a christmas present for me. I felt him pinch my nipples and then put on nipple clamps. These *really* hurt. The nipple clamps look like little clothespins. My ass was on fire at this point and so were my nipples. He decided he was going to take me at this point. Feeling my pussy and how wet I was with arousal he pushed me down and got on top of me. He fucked me hard and brutal. It was rough sex. There was slapping and biting and intense fucking. He slapped my face hard at one point. I closed my eyes and felt myself slipping into the darkside. Only it wasn't Darth in front of me. It was a sadist who loves to hurt me. He gets hard when he hears my screams or sees my struggling. Our play is so much more intense than my play with Master Anakin. I think a part of me is scared still to trust Master R. He's much more sadistic and plays on a much heavier level than I am used to. I admit that I crave it deep inside of me but also get very nervous and scared easy when we do go as far as we did. There were many things we did Wednesday that were intense and extreme. He did not stop until he was satisfied that I had suffered enough for him. I came hard when he ordered it. "Cum, you fucking bitch!!" he ordered. The pain radiating through my nipples...the pleasure of my pussy and my mind spinning...I came so hard that I felt it go through my body into my head. He took off the clamps and made sure I was ok. I was very out of it at this point. My hands and body were shaking. I could feel the welts all over my ass. I got dressed and then went into the livingroom. I was shocked to learn that many hours had gone by. I had lost track of time with everything going on. We talked a little and he gave me my other Christmas present which is a La Senza gift card for 50 dollars. I checked out my new nipple clamps. I need to take some pictures of these for the reader's. They are *very* intense. I'm not sure where he bought them but JT's sells them in case anyone is interested in getting a pair like them. They are chrome mini clothespins nipple clamps. I will warn you that they are not like regular clothespins though. They were very intense. I like a lot of nipple pain to get me aroused so they worked perfectly for me. :) He drove me home and I came home to Master Anakin. Master Anakin checked out my bruises all over my ass and looked pleased with it. We were not able to play after and I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all. We wound up watching the Grinch on Wednesday night as a family but I couldn't concentrate on it at all. I was very out of it for most of the evening. I could feel the crash coming down hard yesterday. Tonight we plan to play. Master Anakin wants to try out the new nipple clamps on me to see my reaction to them and some of the bruises have faded from Wednesday. I need a spanking from Master. I am excited about using the Hitachi. It should be a very interesting night. :) I really need some escape and play right now. The holiday stress is starting to happen and I'm worried about my grandma and I have felt very unfocused. Is anyone else feeling the holiday stress too? There is so much to do and it's getting closer and closer!! I hope everyone has a good weekend though. Who's done their christmas shopping? I finished yesterday at least. I'm very glad about that. :) May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Happy HNT - Sexy Christmas lights

I decided this morning to put our holiday HNT up early as I have plans for today and tommorow and wasn't sure when I would have the chance to. I really like this week's. It's one of my top 3 favorites. I think the blue is very erotic and I love my outfit. This photo was taken last year. I was wearing Master Anakin's white work shirt and my innocent white thigh-hi's with bows and no panties. We were getting ready to put up our Christmas lights and he started to wrap them around my body. This year we invested in different lights and got multi-colored LED lights. I miss the blue lights though. What does everyone think? We'd love to get feedback. Lurkers...come on out of the shadows. We'd love to hear from everyone!! What has been your favorite holiday one? Next week is our last holiday HNT and we already have one in mind for it. :) Please remember to vote on your favorite HNT picture in our survey on the side bar. Thank you to everyone who has already. The winner will be going up at the end of the month for the HNT. I have really enjoyed doing the HNT's and so has Master Anakin. It's encouraged us to take some very erotic pictures through the year for everyone to enjoy. I have a free day today with no kid's and a day to have fun and be naughty. I am meeting my good friend, Master R today to exchange Christmas gifts and also to play. I admit I am *very* nervous about what's going to happen today. There are no rules for today. Master Anakin has told me to have fun and not worry about time. He's made arrangements for me to have the whole day free. I am meeting Master R in about a hour and we are going to Tim Hortons to exchange christmas gifts and catch up and then we will probably play. It's been a while since we last played and I am nervous about seeing him again. He also spanks very hard so I'm nervous about that too!! :) We had been taking a bit of a break from one another the last while. It's been a really intense year in our friendship. So much has happened. I thought back in May I wouldn't see him again and today we are playing together again. I admit it's a bit of a roller coaster of a year for us. There may be new reader's who don't know who Master R is. He's a Dom friend of mine that I have known since 1997. We have played many times together. He's spanked me more times than I can count. It was only this year that things got more intimate together. He's good friend's with Master Anakin and I've had a few threesomes with them both. We also had a foursome situation during the labor day long weekend with his other slave, amber. I have yet to blog about it. Master R is a experienced Dom who's much older than any man I've ever been with before. He just turned 60 years old!! I should mention that my own Dad is turning 65 so this is a bit strange for me. I will admit though that I've always had a thing for older men. Master Anakin is 7 years older than me. I'm not sure what will happen today but I'm taking my camera with me. I'm also taking my cell phone to keep in touch with Master Anakin. It should be a very interesting day for me. :) Tommorow I am meeting my best friend, S to exchange gifts and do a bit more Christmas shopping. I am almost done and want to finish it off. I am not sure how much I will be online the next day or two because of it all. So who wants the details of my day today?? I am still waiting for my Hitachi from JT's Stockroom to arrive in the mail. I can't wait for it to arrive. We are planning to take photos the first time I use it. Would anyone like to see them? Who wants a review of it? The mail has never been so exciting before. I practically run down to my mail box every day to see if it's arrived!! The Story of O did arrive in the mail yesterday in the mail. Master ordered it for me to replace my missing one. I havn't read it in years and plan to read it over the holidays. It's one of my favorite books. I can't figure out where my other copy of it disappeared to. I wanted to share a few of my favorite posts with reader's from this last year on Journey to the Darkside. Please check them out if you havn't already!! Some of the posts will give you a good idea of our friendship with Master R and some of the naughty things we have done with him this year. Some posts were a true pleasure to write as they were about many different play I had with Master Anakin through the last year. Enjoy! Threesome with Master Anakin and Master R Our Saturday night with Master R One final night with Master R Phantom of the Opera night TONIGHT!! Vancouver Ink Hot night for Master and slave Master R pays me a visit yesterday Bad girl spanking Discipline spanking I left my heart in San Fransisco Terrific Anniversary night with Master Anakin I'm curious to hear what everyone's favorite post was this year on Journey? What post made you aroused? What post did you find erotic? What post stands out for you?? Please let us know in the comments or through an e-mail at shyanne.blog@gmail.com. It's been a interesting year and I look forward to another year ahead on this blog. Stay tuned for many more exciting changes. Thank you to all the reader's who have joined us on our Journey and the regular commenters. The best part of blogging for me has been the social aspect and meeting some really nice people through our blog. Feeling like I am not alone in my desire to be spanked or to be a slave. Well I have to take a quick shower and get ready for Master R. I hope everyone has a good hump day!! :) May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: HNT, The story of o, Hitachi, Christmas lights

Gratitude Tuesday - The Letter O

I woke up this morning and went to check sugasm to put it up for this week and noticed our picture is on sugasm again!! Yeah!! I'm very excited about it. I love last week's HNT's picture. Thank you to sugasm for putting up our very hot HNT picture!! We have another hot holiday photo coming up this week. So stay tuned for that! I really like this week's HNT. I am hoping you all will too!! I've got a very busy week ahead. Parent/teacher interviews, finishing my christmas shopping and wrapping, baking, finishing my christmas cards, going out shopping with my friend, S and exchanging gifts with her and tommorow I am meeting Master R to exchange gifts with him. I have been given permission to play with Master R if I am in the mood to. It's been a while though since we have so I am not sure if we will but it will be good to see him. I am craving a spanking though and he sure knows how to give me a hard one that I am craving. I am waiting also for the Hitachi to arrive from JT's stockroom and we paid extra for fast delivery. We are planning to take pictures the first time I use it. Who wants to see those?? I put together a wish list on JT's stockroom. I saw a beautiful English tawse that I want. For anyone looking for ideas for me...that's the top of my list!! I have many fantasies of Master using that tawse on my ass. I need to figure out a gift also for Master Anakin. I am still struggling with that one. I am always looking for the perfect Master gift for him. I am still leaning towards maybe getting him a new belt but I want to also surprise him and give him something different. Well...onto Gratitude Tuesday. I am grateful for Tuesday's and ceeci for starting this series. I love coming up with different things for my lists. When I think of the things I am grateful for that begin with the letter "O" I think of: ~OTK spanking (over the knee) - I put up a picture today of a OTK that was cute. I love this position for a intimate spanking with Master by his big hands. We have a few OTK pictures we have done through this year. Click here for my favorite one. I am grateful for a OTK to get me focused and in line. ~orgasms - The big O!! I am grateful for my orgasms. I love to cum and have a high sex drive!! I can't wait for my Hitachi to experience a few orgasms from it. ~O (Story of O by Pauline Reage) - I am grateful for my favorite novel. I lost my copy of it many years ago and Master has ordered me a new copy for Christmas. I can't wait to read it again. ~opportunities - I am grateful for the different opportunities I've been given in my life. ~optimism - I am grateful for my optimism ~October - I am grateful for the month of October which is my favorite month of the year. I love Autumn and my birthday and Halloween and our Thanksgiving. ~opera - I am grateful for opera music. I love Phantom of the opera the most. ~organic - I am grateful for organic foods. I only eat organic eggs and bananas and many fruits and veggies which are organic. I notice a big difference with it with my digestion. Even my cat eats organic treats and food. ~onions - I am grateful for onions. I love onions on all kinds of different dishes I make, especially perogies. ~Oprah - I am grateful for Oprah. I watch her show all the time. It was actually one specific show that encouraged me to lose weight and I started my walking and boxing and lost over 50 pounds. She's very positive and she inspires me. ~Oregon coast - I am grateful for the chance I had this last summer of visiting the beautiful Oregon Coast. It brought me close to nature at it's finest. I *really* want to go back there one day soon with Master. The coastline was more beautiful than anything I've ever seen in my life. ~olive oil - I only cook in olive oil and am grateful for it. ~online friend's - I am grateful for my online friend's. I appreciate them all very much. ~ornaments - I am grateful for all my ornaments I have in my house, especially all my nice Christmas ornaments I have been collecting through the years. ~ocean - I am grateful for the ocean and that we live close enough to the ocean to be able to go there and smell the ocean air and go swimming in it. ~orange juice/oranges - I love orange juice better than any other juice, especially when it's squeezed fresh. ~ownership - I am grateful that I am owned by Master Anakin in our bdsm lifestyle. ~outside - I am grateful for being outside almost every day. I try to walk every day somewhere to enjoy the outside air and nature. I hope everyone enjoys their Tuesday. My kid's are at school and I'm going to try to wrap some gifts. I got a holiday meme from danae this morning and put my answer's to it on my padme's devotions blog. Please check it out and let me know if you want to try the meme. I'm curious about other people's answers to it. :) May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Sugasm #58

The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasmer participants. Want in Sugasm #58? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set. This Week’s Picks 6 weird things about me (http://hard-and-fast.blogspot.com)“I’ve masturbated to completion more than 13,000 times.” Polygamy, chastity, and sexual pragmatics (http://www.realadultsex.com)“Lest you think the “sister-wives” could always take matters into their own or each other’s hands…” What a woman wants (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)“Tell me about the couple who would have you fuck the wife, and the husband watch.” Mr. Sugasm Himself My Bare Lady (http://sugarbank.com) Editors’ Choice Don’t you dare cum yet (http://bratmaster.co.uk) Sponsored Link G-Spot Orgasm SurveyTake the G-spot survey and win one of two £100 LoveHoney sex toy shopping sprees Sex News & Reviews Call for Xmas Cocks and Cunts! (http://shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com) Discovering New Desires with Naughty Game Play (http://www.taratainton.com) BDSM and Fetish A Nawty Story: Jenny Grills Diane (http://anawtymouz.blogspot.com) Fiction: Timothy and the Pony Girls of the Night (http://erotiterrorist.blogspot.com) Happy HNT - Sexy candy cane panties (http://darkside-journey.blogspot.com) My imminent chastisement (http://battletofindmyself.blogspot.com) The Truth - Confessions of a sissy cock sucker (http://www.caramelvixen.com/vixen-blog) Erotic Writing and Experiences Blowjob Monday (http://dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com) Mile High Club (http://wanklog.blogspot.com) No Words (http://bigboysa.blogspot.com) Remembering summer, remembering lust (http://justsexdrugsandrocknroll.blogspot.com) Sassy Claus (http://nocloudnine.blogspot.com) Under the Table (http://drtycplinva.blogspot.com) NSFW Pics (& videos) Alison Angel - Baywatch (http://hotboxbabe.thumblogger.com) Crystal Klein Nude (http://eroticandy.blogspot.com/) Katie’s sexy striptease (http://myhotbox.blogspot.com) Tiffaney 2 (http://facialsluts.ilovejulienight.com) Sex & Politics Anti-Anti-Pornography, Part IV: “Da Vinci Code” is Not Pornography (http://www.teen-porn-site.com/blog)The Return of Segregation and Silicone (http://www.tarasnaughtyshop.com) Sexy HumorAsk Art: The Sexual Misadvice Column (http://secretbrain.blogspot.com) Thoughts on Sex and Relationships Bad Santas! (http://www.1trackmind.com) Fellatio, Round 4 (http://www.betweensheets.net) Festive panties courtesy of Journey to the Darkside.

Morning masturbation

It's been a really good Monday morning. Usually Monday's are the worst day of the week for me. Today it's pouring rain and dark and I woke up feeling a bit gloomy. I saw Master Anakin's note he left for me this morning. He told me that I can masturbate today as many times as I want to. Today I have a day to masturbate without having to get permission from him to cum. I must fantasize about him while masturbating. So I sent my kid's to school and went upstairs to have some alone time. I unplugged the phone so I wouldn't be interrupted and went up and got naked on my bed. Grabbed my vibrator and started to fantasize. I was thinking of Master using his belt on me. Him spanking me hard. How I would squirm to try to get away but couldn't. A hard and firm spanking. One to make my ass glow for him. It only took a few minutes before I came hard. I lay there floating and feeling so warm and good all over. I came down to tell Master on g mail and he tells me to go upstairs and spank myself with his Master Anakin's paddle. In exchange for masturbating all day today I must take a hard paddling. Since he's not here to do it, I must do it for him. He tells me he's going to phone me in about five minutes on the cell and to go get ready. He wants to hear it being done. I must spank my ass hard with it. 25 on each cheek. I must take a photo for him with our digital camera of how red my ass is. If he's not satisfied, I will get double when he gets home. I say "yes, Sir" and go upstairs and lay out the paddle. I plug in the phone and take it upstairs with the digital camera. I wait for his call. I think of only Him. My Darth Vader, my Master and the man who takes me in hand. He phones. I can hear people around him so he's trying to whisper into the phone. I want to hear the paddling. Lay the phone down on the bed beside where your going to paddle your ass. 25 on each cheek and they better all be hard. He tells me to go ahead. I take his paddle and I start to spank my ass hard with it. Cracking of the wood as it hits my ass. Trying to please him by spanking my ass hard. Wondering if he's getting a hard on listening to me do this to my ass. We've done self spanking a few times but this is so erotic. I am wet again and wanting to cum again. I finish the 25 strokes of the paddle on each cheek and then get back on the phone with him. "You are a good slave. Master is pleased. I hope your ass is glowing red. Take a picture for me of it. Take a few as it might be hard to take a photo of your ass by yourself. Use the tripod and timer if you have to. I want to see how red it is. It better be damn red or your getting double. I want you to get your vibrator again and use it until you cum for me. G mail me when you are done. I'll be waiting. So I have another orgasm which is as intense as the first one. Feeling a warm and red ass underneath me as I rub my clit and fuck my pussy with the vibrator. I am floating right now and feeling still horny. Feeling submissive to Master. Feeling focused on him. Wanting to please him. He told me to write a blog post for him of my feelings right now so I went on blogger as soon as I was downstairs. I am really happy to participate in Masturbation Monday today. Check it out! It's a great way for you to spend Monday's too. :) I can't wait for the Hitachi to arrive in the mail. I've been told we will be taking pictures of it as soon as it arrives. I have heard so many good things and I am hoping it arrives fast!! I don't remember the last time I was so excited about the mail. JT's Stockroom has some wonderful gift ideas. I did a wish list through them this morning for Master. I've had a few other people ask me also for gift ideas. I still need to come up with a gift for Master from me. Hmmmm...what to get him? Any suggestions? I hope everyone had a chance to check out my interview yesterday with maggie dear. I didn't get many comments about it? Please check it out. I hope others will consider participating in this new series. Please e-mail me at smailto:shyanne.blog@gmail.comyour interested. I am putting up a HNT from this year. It's one of my favorites. It's our black and white masturbation photo. Please vote in our HNT survey if you havn't had the chance yet. We have another hot holiday HNT photo this week and tommorow is gratitude tuesday. I've got my list ready to go. Here's a meme from good girl that I thought looked neat. One last meme, a Fines meme, add up your fines for all the naughty things you've done. MY FINE = $425 Smoked pot -- $10 Did acid -- $5 Ever had sex at church -- $25 Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40 Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $25 Had sex for money -- $100 Ever had sex with the a Puerto Rican -- $20 Vandalized something -- $20 Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10 Beat up someone -- $20 Been jumped -- $10 Crossed dressed -- $10 Given money to stripper -- $25 Been in love with a stripper -- $20 Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $10 Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15 Ever drive drunk -- $20 Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50 Used toys while having sex -- $30 Got drunk, passed and don't remember the night before -- $20 Went skinny dipping -- $5 Had sex in a pool -- $20 Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10 Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20 Cheated on your significant other -- $10 Masturbated -- $10 Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20 Done oral -- $5 Got oral -- $5 Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- $25 Stole something -- $10 Had sex with someone in jail -- $25 Made a nasty home video -- $15 Had a threesome -- $50 Had sex in the wild -- $20 Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25 Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20 Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20 Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25 Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50 Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25 Went streaking -- $5 Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15 Been arrested -- $5 Spent time in jail -- $15 Peed in the pool -- $5 Played spin the bottle -- $5 Done something you regret -- $20 Had sex with your best friend -- $20 Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25 Had anal sex -- $80 Lied to your mate -- $5 Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25 May the force be with you all! ~padme

Interview with Maggie Dear

I'm very excited to be putting up another interview today in my new series, padme's interviews. This is my 5th interview. If you want to see any of my other ones, please check them out in the drop down menu of padme's interviews on the side bar. A big thank you to those who have let me interview them!! Today I am interviewing a new blogger friend of mine, Maggie Dear. I found her blog recently and she has become a daily read for me. I want to thank her very much for letting me interview her and sharing the photo of her avtar for today's interview. If anyone else is interested in being interviewed/reviewed please contact me at shyanne.blog@gmail.com. I'm very excited to be starting this new series and am hoping to get more interviews for the future. It's a great chance to let other reader's get to know you and your blog and hopefully bring in some new traffic for your blog. I hope everyone's had a chance to vote on our survey's up also. We have a Christmas survey and favorite HNT survey up also. The winner of the HNT survey goes up at the end of the month. Thank you to everyone who's voted on it. :) Master Anakin and I had a really good overnight last night. We had a first happen between us last night and I plan to blog about this in another blog post. Who wants the details of last night? :) We wound up going Christmas shopping at Metrotown Mall in Burnaby and coming home for some very intense play. We didn't get to see a movie last night. We are both waiting for Rocky Balboa to come out. Master spoiled me with many gifts for Christmas for my stocking. Last night reconnected us and also pushed through a few barriers. We have been having a lot of distance lately and this really helped us to get close and also start some good conversation about the future for us. One of the most exciting things to happen last night was me placing a order at JT's Stockroom for my Christmas present from Master. I've got a Hitachi on it's way to me for Christmas!! I've been wanting one for a long time since my good friend, good girl mentioned her Hitachi to me and also did a blog post about it. My vibrator is old and doesn't have very strong power. I was told that Master is considering giving me one day a week where I can masturbate all I want without permission. He's hoping the Hitachi will give me lots of great orgasms and some good masturbating in the future. I'm a very excited slave girl about this present!! We paid a bit extra for express post so it should be here faster. I'll let everyone know when it arrives and we plan to take photos of my first experience with it. :) Maggie Dear is fairly new to blogging and also spanking. I'm was very happy to do the interview and learn a bit more about her. She's got a really great blog and updates frequently. I recently got a few of my memes from her. Please stop by today and check her blog out and say hello. I know she'd love to hear from everyone!! Her description of her profile on her blog says: "I'm in a HOH relationship, but no D/d. That is what I'm working towards. I'm hoping that writing my thoughts out will help me get a clearer understanding of just what it is I want, so I can approach Mr. HOH with my ideas in a dignified manner." Interview with Maggie Dear: 1. Q: What is the name of your blog? A: "MaggieDear" Q: How long have you been blogging? A: "I opened this one in October. I had started several others, but just didn't do anything with them. It didn't help that most of the time I couldn't remember the name and/or password. " 2. Q: How did you come up with the name for your blog? A: "When MrC is irritated with me about something, that's what he calls me, but uses my real name. Also when he's goofing around for some reason he refers to us as Bob and Margaret. Go figure .. ?? So, Maggie it is." 3. Q: Can you tell the reader's a bit about yourself? A: "I'm in my mid-late 40s, 2 kids that have left home and even though I love them to death, I'm ready when it's time for them to leave. It didn't take too long for me to get used to an empty house. I grew up in a normal household with a sister and my parents. My mom is submissive and sometimes I think that may be where I got my submissive tendencies. I doubt there was ever any spanking with them though. My sister and I were both spanked, but not that much. Mostly by mom, but the serious stuff was from dad. I can probably count the times on one hand." "Right now I work too much. Way too much. Between the kids leaving home and MrC and I moving in together, I used to read a lot. But now, I just don't have time for it, or if I do pick up a book, I'm instantly asleep. I love my computer time and used to spend a lot of time on HTML and learning all I could. Now ... I'm all for the drag and drop system. LOL" 4. Q: Are you new to spanking? A: I'm fairly new to spanking. My ex and I tried it, but because we were at the end of our relationship, it just didn't work I've always thought about it, forever it seems, but just could not make myself let anyone know. For MrC and I it's mostly a few slaps before or during sex. A couple weeks ago I did tell him I wanted more to it. I'm not really sure at this point that he took it seriously, but over the past week or so, there have been a couple of times where there was a lot more. I'm hoping, after much, much more communication that this will eventually end up Dd. Q: Are there any things (bdsm, role-playing, dress up, D/s, etc...) that you are hoping to try one day? A: "I don't know yet, we'll have to see how far we can get with just spanking right now. Some BDSM may appeal to me. Just one day at a time for now. As for the dress up and role-play, probably not. I don't think that would be for either of us. Maybe. I came back to this because I think that maybe in the context of role-play that could be something for us, maybe in the form of executive/secretary or principal/teacher. Heh! The more I think about it, maybe so." 5. Q: Are you married/engaged/living together with your HOH? A: "MrC and I have been living together 3 years and together all total almost 7 yrs." 6. Q: What is your ultimate spanking fantasy? A: "Oh man! I have hundreds that I run through my mind all the time. Just like all the rest of us. I don't know for sure which would be my favorite, but I do like the thought of being tied up and spanked for some infraction along the way on a road trip, somewhere up in the mountains. Or, ... right now I'll take any spanking I can get!" 7. Q: What would you like most to be spanked with? A: "I can really only answer this from a wishful thinking standpoint. A leather paddle I think would be so nice. And a flogger. And then again, his hand is working just fine for what I'm getting at the moment." 8. Q: Do you practice Domestic discipline in your relationship or is it more erotic spankings? A: "In our relationship he is definately HOH and I like that way. It just fits both of us, no discussion was needed. As for now, the spankings, if you can call them that, are erotic only. I do want to work towards a dd situation. As I've said on my blog, I think he really would fit that role perfectly. I get butterflies just thinking about it. *g*" 9. Q: What are your hobbies? A: "Right now I really don't have time for any extra activities. I do love swimming. In the spring and summer I spend a lot of time gardening. Would reading spanko blogs be considered a hobby? I seem to do more of that, especially at work, than anything else. MrC keeps me too occupied to do much else." 10. Q: Are you a Star wars fan? If so, what is your favorite movie of them all? A: "Believe it or not, I have never seen one Star Wars movie. So I really can't say whether I like it or not. Man, I'm probably the only one on the face of the earth that hasn't seen at least one of the movies." 11. Q: Do you have any future plans for your blog at all? A: "I do want to keep it up, and I'd really like, right now, to find more time to write about what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling about this spanking thing. I have several posts started, but just as sure as I start working on one, work takes me away. I would also like to expand it a little more, but I'm not sure yet in what way. It is addictive!" ...... Thank you maggie dear for participating in my new series, padme's interviews and letting me and everyone else know a bit more about you. Great answers!! Please check out Maggie Dear today!! We are having a relaxing family day today. I've got a nicely sore ass from a spanking last night and I'm feeling a bit better today. I'm planning to start wrapping some Christmas presents this afternoon. Stay tuned for another hot holiday HNT this week and also I hope to put some neat holiday jokes and posts up also with Christmas getting so close. I hope everyone had a good weekend. May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Revenge of the Sith : Carol of the Bells I saw this Star wars video yesterday and loved it!! I think it's one of the best I've seen. I showed Master Anakin this morning and he told me to post it to Journey to the Darkside so others can check it out. The video is done to Carol of the Bells. It combines some Christmas and star wars. Please check it out!! I plan to do a quick blog post in padme's devotions this morning about last night. Things didn't go very well. I'm feeling pretty sad about it today. I hope our overnight will give us some reconnection. It was a rough night last night. Enjoy the video! May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Cranky and needing a spanking

I've got two memes to put up that I got from my friend, maggie. I've also been tagged for a few other memes and hope to do those soon. I'm really glad it's Friday. It's been another long week for me. Master and I had another fight last night and I didn't sleep well. It seems like we do a lot of fighting and making up lately. I'm hoping tonight we can make up and resolve our differences. The holidays are always a tough time of year for us. He's stressed about work and I'm stressed over holiday stuff and other stuff. We don't seem to find much time together during the week and that makes us both upset. We are planning a play night for tonight and Master has arranged for a overnight for our son for tommorow night. We received movie gift certificates (two sets for two movies) from my sister in the mail for Christmas. I really want to see the movie, Rocky Balboa but that movie isn't coming up until Christmas. I am a huge fan of the Rocky movies. Last week we saw Casino Royale which was great. I'm not sure yet what we will see tommorow. I've been wanting to see Bobby so maybe Master might take me to see that one. I need a spanking and I know it. I feel it inside of me. I feel cranky. I want to be bent over and spanked hard and to reconnect with Master. I need some play and escape. I need Darth! I need the darkside!! I want a sore and glowing red ass...the feel of subspace and orgasms...pain and pleasure mixed together...a really solid sleep in Master's arms feeling owned and happy and content...that is what I crave most right now... I've been doing a lot of fantasizing lately. My bisexual feelings are strong and I've been thinking a lot about another woman. Yesterday I couldn't help but touch myself and fantasize about her. If she is reading this...I hope she knows how much she is turning me on. I've thought about her her spanking me and controlling me. How she would do all kinds of naughty things to me. I wanted to cum but Master wouldn't allow it. It's been a few months since I was last with a woman. I miss it so much sometimes. The feel of a woman's breast in my hand. The juices of a wet pussy. The softness of skin and the soft of kisses a woman gives. I want to get close to another woman. I've had many talks with Master about it. I feel exhausted this morning but sooooo horny!! I feel it all building up inside of my pussy. I need sleep but I think I need a orgasm more! :) I put up a picture from last year of my tits with Christmas bows on them. I have a bat temporary tattoo on my one breast. It's a very festive and holiday type of picture. I'm wearing one of Master's Anakin work shirts. He loves those kinds of christmas presents...my tits. I've been asked by a few people what size my breasts are. The last time I got them measured I was a 38 C. That was when I was getting married though and I've lost some weight since then. So I'm not sure and should probably find out as I need a new bra soon. Thank you to everyone who commented on our HNT. We hope to put holiday themed HNT's up until Christmas and then post the winner of the HNT survey at the end of the month. We really appreciate the comments from everyone. I love the social aspect the most of the blogging. Getting to know other blogger's and hearing their comments or reading their e-mails. I read each and every comment many times and I try very hard to comment back to those who comment here. Thank you to all the reader's who have been along on our Journey. I have another interview ready to go up for Sunday so stay tuned for that! If anyone else is interested in being interviewed please e-mail me at shyanne.blog@gmail.com. We have two new surveys so please make sure to vote if you havn't already. I've really enjoyed hearing what everyone's favorite HNT has been. Master has told me to try to find my Christmas presents from JT's Stockroom today. I have $75 dollars to us towards my christmas present "from Master". He will give me more vanilla gifts that we open with our children but on Christmas eve we do a private Master and slave gift opening and he told me to enjoy looking for some new presents. The question is...do I buy one big gift or do I buy a bunch of small ones?? I want a Hitachi vibrator but I also want a new flogger or new tawse. It's going to be hard trying to pick my gift or gifts out today. So many great toys to chose from! :) Here's my two memes from maggie. I'm not tagging anyone but if you give it a try, please let me know and I'll come check out your answers. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be? Master Anakin When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? yes In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? Listener Do you take compliments well? Sometimes Are you an active person? I'm fairly active. I enjoy walking every day when I can and try to stay active. It helps a lot with my arthritis to move around a lot during the day. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, do you survive? For how long? I could survive for a few days probably Do you like to ride horses? Yes Did you ever go to camp as a kid? Yes. I went to soccer camp and also church camps. What was your favorite game as a kid? Tag A sexy person is pursuing you, but you know that he/she is married, would you? It depends. I have in the past. Are you judgmental? Yes. I can be but I try not to be. Do you like to pursue or be pursued? Be persued. I am awful with making the first move. I much prefer the person to pursue me. Use three words to describe yourself. Emotional, naughty, and submissive. If you had to choose, would you rather be deaf or blind? Deaf. Are you continuing your education? I have no plans to. Do you know how to shoot a gun? No. How often do you read books? I read books usually a few times a week. It depends if I am reading a good book or not. If I am, I will read it daily until finished. Do you think more about the past, present or future? I think about the past a lot but I also think of the present the most and also the future. What is your favorite children's book? Cat in the Hat Have you kissed any of your MySpace friends? Myspace friends? How tall are you? 5’7 Where is your ideal house located? In White rock along the beach. Boxers, briefs, thongs, panties, or grannies? Thongs and also girlie panties (I'm sure many people know about that as my last post had my new holiday panties for our HNT) Last person you talked to? Master Anakin Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yes, when my kid's were younger When was the last time you were at Olive Garden? I've never eaten at the olive garden What are your keys on your key chain for? for the house, for the mail box and a spare key for the car. Where was the furthest place you traveled today? It's 8:30 am...lol. I havn't travelled very far at all yet. Where is your current pain at? ? Hmm...I have no pain yet but perhaps tonight if Master Anakin spanks me I might feel pain on my ass. :) Do you like mustard? Yes Do you prefer to sleep or eat? Sleep! Do you look like your mom or dad? my mother How long does it take you in the shower? about 20-30 mins. Can you do a split? I could when I was younger but not now. What movie do you want to see right now? Rocky Balboa and also Bobby What did you do for New Year's? Went to Old Spaghetti Factory with Master Anakin and then to see Memoirs of a Geisha. Then home for a spanking as midnight rolled around and some incredible sex. ;) Do you think "The Grudge" was scary? No. Actually I found myself laughing at many parts of it. What was the cause of your last accident? I burned myself just before Thanksgiving with my coffee pot giving myself a second degree burn on my arm. It is still bruised there. How much money do you have on you right now? About five dollars in change. What are you drinking? coffee Was your mom a cheerleader? No What's the last letter of your middle name? N Who did you vote for on American Idol? Never watched it. How many hours of sleep do you get at night? depends. Most nights around 8-9 Do you like Carebears? not really. What do you buy at the movies? Popcorn always! Yum! Do you know how to play poker? Not really. Do you wear your seat belt? Always What do you wear to sleep? Usually just a nightshirt. Sometimes I'm naked. Anything big ever happen in your hometown? hmmm..I don't think so. How many meals do you eat a day? 3 usually Is your tongue pierced? No. What's your favorite NFL team? BC Lions Do you like funny or serious people better? Funny Ever been to Vegas? Yes, 5 times. Did you eat a cookie today? No Do you use cuss words in other languages? Rarely Do you steal or pay for your music downloads? lol. Do I have to answer this question? Do you hate chocolate? No What do you and your parents fight about the most? What don't we fight about? Is anyone mad at or irritated with you right now? Master Anakin is annoyed with me and I've got a spanking coming because of it. I broke a rule again last night and it got him angry with me. Do you open presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? Both. What's your favorite preparation for eggs? Over-easy If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be? A spanking model Are you easy to get along with? Pretty much. What is your favorite time of day? The evening Who was your best girlfriend/boyfriend? Master Anakin Who do you hate? I'm not thrilled with my Dad and I don't get along very well with my ex husband. Hate seems like a very strong word to me though. Would you ever date your first love again? Not at all Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend? lol. Of course...but he's my husband now, not boyfriend. Current mood? cranky and needing a spanking! Who wants to come over and spank me?? Layers Meme Five Yummy things 1. Homemade perogies 2. Swiss Chalet chicken 3. Pizza Hut pizza 4. Popcorn from the movie theatre 5. ceasar salad Five Songs I Know by Heart 1. Rasputin - Boney M (Ra Ra Rasputin) This is my favorite song to dance to also! 2. Big Love - Lindsey Buckingham (love Lindsey's voice in this song) 3. Silver Springs - Fleetwood Mac (song reminds me of someone from my past) 4. Dreams - Fleetwood Mac (I love this song!) 5. Castaway Dreams - Lindsey Buckingham (my new favorite from his new album) also Little Miss Dangerous - My favorite song - by Ted Nugent Five Things I'd Do with a Lot of Money 1. Give some to charity 2. Make sure my kids have everything they need. (including their education fund) 3. Invest 4. Travel around the world 5. Share some of it with close friends and fly a few blogger friends out to visit us for a real spanking party. :) Five Places I Would Escape 1. Las Vegas! (Viva La vegas!!) 2. Italy 3. Harrison Hot Springs (our honeymoon place where our special "place by the lake" is 4. Florida 5. New York also I would love to visit my good friends, Griz and good girl Five Things I Would Never Wear 1. Anything yellow 2. shoulder pads 3. Overalls 4. plain panties 5. hats Five Favorite TV Shows 1. Young and the Restless 2. Sopranos 3. Deal or No Deal 4. Miami Vice (old episodes) 5. Ultimate Fighter series ...I also enjoy CSI Five Things I Enjoy Doing 1. having sex 2. getting spanked 3. hanging out with Master Anakin and my kid's and Meisha, our kitty 4. cooking 5. blogging and chatting on the computer Five Favorite Toys 1. Computer 2. vibrator 3. new riding crop/Master's belt 4. Camera 5. butt plug I hope everyone enjoys the weekend! May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Happy HNT - Sexy candy cane panties

Happy HNT!! I like to get our HNT pictures up early so people have a chance to check them out. We have added a new survey for HNT this week. We want to know your favorite HNT picture we have put up on Journey to the Darkside this year. The survey is just under our HNT picture section. If you havn't checked out our different HNT's this is a great time to do it and chose your favorite for the year. There wasn't enough room on the survey to put every single one we did but I tried to put some of the best in my opinion for the year. We will put up the winning vote at the end of the month. Please check it out!! We also put up a new Christmas survey in the right side bar also. What are your favorite parts of Christmas? We are looking forward to hearing from everyone!! It's been quite a year here at Journey to the Darkside. I am looking forward to the New Year. Master Anakin and I have a few ideas for different new surprises on our blog. Thank you to all the dear reader's who have joined us on our Journey. Thank you to all our regular commenters and friend's. We have enjoyed hearing from the lurker's and we hope other's might come out of the shadows and say hello. We both enjoy hearing feedback on our blog and also our pictures we put up. Master Anakin has put a lot of work into our HNT pictures and videos. We hope to put up more spanking videos in the new year. We are also hoping to start a product toy review section. I have a few new toys I hope to review. I also hope to do more interviews with other blogger's. If your interested in being interviewed or would like your toy reviewed, please let us know by e-mail. (shyanne.blog@gmail.com or anakins.blog@gmail.com) I have been enjoying having another blog, padme's devotions that I have been able to be myself and really express myself on. I want to thank everyone who has linked to my new blog and commented also there. That blog hasn't had many hits and not many people have come by to say hello but I wish you would. That blog shows a lot more of the real me. This is a spanking blog so often I feel I can't be emotional or share my feelings about other things like the bdsm. That blog is more about my ups and downs as Master's slave. Master and I try to keep both blogs updated frequently and keep things interesting. In the new year we hope to have another spanking party also. Master Anakin has been taking a bit of a break from blogging but he has told me he hopes to get back into blogging more after the holidays. Things are crazy at his work and he's got many different things going on. He's looking forward to him doing the Ask Anakin again. He's got a few questions that he's got yet to answer. We want to wish our good friends, Griz and good girl a big congratulations for their one year blogging anniversary at Everything Goes. Please stop by their blog and say hello. They put up some of their favorite posts from the last year. I'm so happy for them both! Master has told me I can spend 75 dollars as a Christmas present "from Master" from JT's Stockroom. Please check them out!! We LOVE JT's stockroom. Our crop we got from Griz and good girl for my birthday is one of my favorite spanking toys. The crop has a little hand and it reddens my ass nicely. I also noticed JT's has fetish pay per views. I am hoping to maybe check one of them out this weekend. If your looking for Christmas gifts, they have plenty! I'll let everyone know what I decide to order from them. I am going to do that as soon as my post is done. Thank you Master for your presents to me this year! I'm a truly spoiled girl. Today's HNT picture is of my brand spanking new panties!! (click to enlarge) They are holiday panties that I got from Wal mart recently. They have red candy canes all over them. They are so cute and I couldn't resist buying them as soon as I saw them. I LOVE candy canes. We have a ton of them on our Christmas tree and I can't help taking a few to lick on them. *winks* I am wearing my holiday thigh hi's that I wore in last week's HNT picture. What does everyone think? We'd love feedback and to hear from everyone today. Please say hello. I promise I don't bite. :) I have been wanting to post about our Friday night and I think this is a really good blog post to do it. Friday night I got one of the hardest spankings from Master Anakin ever. It left my ass redder than it's ever been and bruised so deeply that I still have very red and purple bruises on my thighs from it. Here are the details from Friday night: Thursday night we had a huge fight. My period and his cold lead to Darth appearing and the darkside taking over us. I said many things I didn't mean to say. I threw a huge tantrum which ended it me taking off my collar and throwing it hard at him. It struck him in the hand and made a cut on it. He was furious with me. I could see Darth in his eyes. He ordered me to bed and slammed the door and left after turning out the lights. I was very upset. I cried myself to sleep and felt a lot of guilt over our fight. I didn't sleep well. Friday I got up and he wouldn't talk to me. I wrote that blog post on Friday with many emotions swirling around in me. I was hoping he would read it and contact me to talk. I felt more lost on Friday than I had in years. I felt vulnerable and alone. I felt like I was losing my mind on Friday morning. My very good friend, good girl came on yahoo on Friday afternoon and we talked. I realized I was not alone in my feelings and we had a really good chat. I'm so glad to have good girl as one of my closest friend's. I decided to phone Master at work. He picked up the phone but didn't sound very impressed with me. He told me he'd phone me back on the cell phone so we can talk privately. I felt guilty and knew I had pushed things way too far. He told me he wasn't angry at me being upset or emotional but it was the way I handled things with throwing my collar at him. He told me if I wanted to wear it again I must earn it back. He told me to think about it and get back to him. I took about a hour to do some thinking looking in the fire and phoned him back and told him I felt lost without him as my Dom. I wanted to earn it back and would do whatever it took. He told me a serious spanking was in order. One that would leave me not able to sit for a day or two. It was a serious infraction. It went against what we are as Master and slave. He told me that after the spanking was done I could wear his collar again and all would be forgiven. We would play but not until the punishment was over. I agreed and we hung up. For hours all I could think of was the spanking coming. Fear is a interesting emotion. It can turn me on but also make me so nervous with the anticipation. I knew it wasn't going to be a easy spanking. It was going to hurt. I would feel great pain on my ass before he allowed me the collar back. For hours it was all I could think about. How would he spank me? How hard would it be? He surprised me when he came home from work on Friday afternoon. He had a red rose that he had bought for me. He also told me he had arranged for an overnight for our son with his parent's after our daughter's karate. She had her belt test that night and I was expecting to go to it. She was going to my ex's afterwards. He wanted us to be alone and have lots of time to punish hard and be as loud as we wanted. He wanted me to stay home from the karate. He told me to take the night off. He didn't want me to go. I had been pushing myself for a week and he wanted me to relax and think of the things that were to come later. He told me to do nothing but relax as I wait for him to come home to punish me. To think of the spanking coming. To anticipate it. He kissed me with passion and looked me into my eyes for a few minutes before leaving. I admit at this point I was a bit overcome with emotions. I felt nervous, scared, aroused, and very masochistic. I watched a sexy video that my friend, Griz had given me earlier in the week. I drank my vodka and 7-up and started to feel warm and turned on. The vodka always goes straight to my pussy. I am a wild Russian woman who's had a few very naughty experiences while under the influence of vodka. It's my favorite drink. I hadn't had sex all week and I was feeling so turned on. My clit was on fire. My pussy starting to tingle. My thoughts racing of spankings and pain and pleasure... I found myself masturbating a bit while watching some of the video. I was watching the two women together...and feeling so aroused by it. The one womas was dominating the other one. I was fantasizing about a certain woman I know who turns me on so bad. I am not going to say who it was I was fantasizing about while masturbating myself. I'll leave that up to everyone's imagination. I was so turned on. I knew I couldn't cum. My rule is I can masturbate at any time but must always ask for permission before cumming. I knew he would not give permission before a punishment spanking that was coming. So I stopped before cumming and went upstairs for a bath and to try to get my mind off my strong desire to have a orgasm. I was reading some of my favorite book, Submission by Marthe Blau while soaking in the hot bath with lavender. One section of that book got my mind spinning with different fantasies. "Nobody will ever treat you as I'm going to treat you. You'll never forget what I'm going to do to you tonight. You'll never experience anything like it again, you're my bitch and my slave. You belong to me and nobody else. After tonight, you won't know who you are any more. I'm going to make you suffer, I'm going to make you scream, your body will bear the marks, and although the burning sensation will go away you'll miss it like a drug. I'm going to give you a beating and you'll love it." That book arouses me deeply. I was thinking of the marks I would bear for Master. I felt a strong desire for pain. I wanted to feel his closeness again...to set things straight. I got out of the bath and shaved my pussy and got changed into my naughty schoolgirl outfit he likes so much. I put my hair into pigtails and put on his favorite perfume. I got the toys out and cleaned them and brought them downstairs for him. I made sure the livingroom was ready for some play. I got a porno playing on the tv and put on his Hackers cd he loves so much. I put on candles around the room. I was waiting for him and listening for the car to drive up. At around 9 pm I heard the car slam. My pussy and ass clenched in anticipation of the night's punishment and play that lay ahead. He came in and Darth was there, not Anakin. I knew it was going to be intense. My heart was racing. I knew what was coming.... He came in and fixed a drink and got comfortable. He told me at that point to only speak when told to. He wanted me quiet. He went to take a quick shower and told me to watch the porn and wait for him and think of the spanking coming. I had another drink and watched the porno. Before going upstairs, he slide his black belt through the pant loops right in front of me. The belt came off faster than lightening and I could tell he was going to spank me hard with it. He lay it on the coffee table and went upstairs for his shower. I kept staring at it. Thinking of the many times it's crossed my ass. How it was going to hurt my ass. For about 15 minutes I sat there staring at it...then feeling it. Fantasizing about the spanking which was coming with it. He came down in his boxers and t-shirt and smelling nice with his Axe cologne. He told me to obey him and get ready for the punishment. I wore handcuffs for the punishment so I couldn't protect my ass from his belt. I was laid over the couch. My naughty school girl skirt lifted and panties pulled down. The first stroke of his belt made me know he meant business. I'm not sure of how many I got but when he was done one side of my ass, he went to the other side to punish from it. Both ass cheeks felt like they were in fire. I squirmed around a bit for some of the blows but tried to stay still. A few times I couldn't help but cry out. "Stay still, slave. You must accept your punishment" he warned me. Again and again the belt cracked down on my poor behind. No mercy was given. It was a punishment spanking and it hurt like nothing else. He beat my bottom with his belt over and over again until it was all I could think about. I lifted my ass up hoping to make him happy and pleased. I started to float and wondered when the spanking would end. The sounds of leather hitting my ass filled the room louder than the Hackers music. I wondered if any neighbors walking by might hear it. They were angry and hard strokes coming down fast. I could barely catch my breath. He told me on Saturday he had given me 250 with the belt hard. A few swings were full force. The force was strong with him on Friday night. I didn't count. The darkside had taken over Master. Darth Vader was in charge. I was floating in a endorphin high and dizzy after he was done. He took the cuffs off and told me to kneel in front of him. He put the collar back around my neck. Then he told me he was going to fuck me. He wanted me. I could see his hard on through the boxers. I was ordered to get naked which I did and I lay down next to our fireplace. I stared up at the Christmas lights twinkling. My ass hurt so badly. I could feel the welts. He thrust into me hard and fucked my very wet and aroused pussy. I came three times hard for him. I barely remember going to bed. I cuddled up close and had a deep and peaceful sleep. I have thought about Friday a lot the last few days. How hard we played. How intense it was. How I wanted to do more. How the pain turned into pleasure and now I feel addicted to it. I feel intensely submissive to Master. I want to play like that again. I want to get spanked like that again. I want to feel his pain...his pleasure...his cock...his Darth.... I am now feeling so deeply aroused after writing this post and remembering Friday night...all I want to do is go grab my vibrator... May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: HNT, panties, belt spanking, punishment, Christmas panties, holiday panties

Gratitude Tuesday - The Letter N

This is blog post #600 today!! Wow!! It's hard to believe that we have posted to Journey to the Darkside 600 times. Amazing!! I've had a really awesome morning and feel very content and happy this morning. There is nothing more fabulous than a morning quickie to get your day started right! :) I was up early and Master had about 20 minutes before he had to be at work. The kid's were fast asleep. I saw a twinkle in his eye as he told me he wanted to fuck me before leaving. I was wearing only my nightshirt and no panties. He felt up my nightshirt and got my nipples erect and got me stimulated. He put his fingers into my pussy and started to get me nicely wet for him. We stripped down naked and got busy in a hurry. He fucked me hard on the floor and came deep inside of me. He ordered me to keep his cum in my pussy until he phones me and arrives at work. So I am sitting here at my computer chair with dripping cum coming out of my very needy and wet pussy. I wasn't allowed to cum this morning. It was all about him and his pleasure and leaving me wanting more. I always feel most submissive when he fucks me and leaves me with this want in me. I walked him to the door and kissed him for a few minutes and handed him his lunch bag and watched him drive off. I feel a bit dazed by it right now and wish he had stayed home but I know he had to go to work. He's got the rest of his holidays but not until Christmas. I am so in love with my sexy and handsome Master. I truly can't get enough of his cock. I have been incredibly horny for him the last few days. Gratitude Tuesday today! I have my list for N's ready to go. I am going to enjoy my morning and take a hot shower when my kid's are gone. I feel so relaxed right now. :) I hope everyone is enjoying their Tuesday as much as I am today. I'd like to thank ceeci for this wonderful series. I have really been enjoying doing Gratitude Tuesday and it's allowed me to focus and stay positive on this blog during times where I am feeling a bit down. I hope others will consider doing it for their blog if they aren't already. When I think of the things I am grateful for that begin with the letter "N" I think of: ~Nicolas Cage - I put up a picture of Nic Cage today. He's one of my favorite actors and I am grateful for his movies. I think he's such a hottie. :) ~N - I am grateful for a special person who's name begins with the letter N. He's a very special part of my life. ~Nancy/SNN - I am grateful to know Nancy/SNN. She's one of the nicest blogger's I know. :) ~N - I am grateful for my mother who's name begins with the letter N. She may drive me crazy at times but if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be alive and here today. ~nail polish - I am grateful for my very large collection of nail polish. I love to wear nail polish. It makes me feel sexy and feminine. ~naps - I am grateful to have naps sometimes. Our son didn't have a proper sleep schedule for years and naps saved my sanity. I napped a lot in those days. ~naked - I am grateful to be naked with Master Anakin like on mornings like today. :) ~nude erotic photos - I am grateful to do nude erotic photos. We have done several in this last year. Does anyone want to see some of them? ~naughtycards.com - I am grateful to have naughtycards.com which I send many different erotic cards to Master from. They are listed in our greeting cards section. ~neck - I am grateful that my neck doesn't hurt like it did after the accident. For four months I had so much pain every single day in my neck with a serious whiplash injury. I also have arthritis in my neck. I am grateful to know exercises now to make my neck strong and I can't imagine my life without glucosamine sulfate which makes my joints stronger in my neck. ~newspaper - I am grateful to have my daily newspaper delivered to my door so I can catch up on what's happening around the world and locally every day. ~news - I am also grateful for the morning news to find out the traffic updates to know if Master is stuck in traffic on his way to work or not. ~naughty - I am grateful to be a naughty girl sometimes and do naughty things that often find me over Master's knee for a spanking. :) ~nature - I am grateful for nature and love to be walking around looking at nature. ~name - I am grateful for my name. I have no complaints...I really like my name and have never wanted to change it. ~nipples - I am grateful to have nipples. They are a huge turn on to get them stimulated. ~nipple clamps - I am grateful to my my different pairs of nipples clamps to get me turned on. ~night - I am grateful for night which is one of my favorite times of the day. ~nachos - I am grateful for nachos which are one of my favorite foods at a bar. I don't eat beef though so these days it's usually nachos and salsa or just nachos and some cheese. ~nuts - I am grateful for nuts like cashews which are one of my favorite snack foods. ~naboo - I am grateful for the planet of naboo which is the planet in Star Wars that I would live on if it really existed. ~necklace - I am grateful for the different necklaces I wear that Master Anakin gave to me through the years. Many of them remind me of different Christmas's with him or birthdays. I hope everyone is having a good Tuesday. Stay tuned for the hot HNT this week and I hope to put up another interview also later in the week. :) Edit: New Christmas survey added on the side bar. Please give it a try and let us know your favorite parts of the Christmas holidays!! We would love to hear from you all! May the force be with you all! ~padme

Sugasm #57

This week’s best of the sex blogs from the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasmer participants. Want in Sugasm #58? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set. This Week’s Picks The Other Side of Hotwifery (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)“Since he had been so cavalier about it prior to my ever actually going through with such an event, I had given almost no thought to how it might affect him.” The Blender (http://radicalvixen.com/blog)“You want to pick me? Did I win a contest?” Meeting in a Car - part one (http://emergingontheotherside.blogspot.com)“His tongue teased hers, and her lips teased his in retaliation” Mr. Sugasm Himself Welcome to Googlestan! Google Purges Adult Content from Search Results (http://sugarbank.com) Editors’ Choice Desire so overwhelming I could do anything (http://sugarbutch.blogspot.com) Sponsored Link iBuzz Two - the new iPod SexToy for couples http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/ibuzztwo/ “Next-gen vibrator gives everything you and your partner need to enjoy musicand music-activated vibrations at the same time. Even works with a Zune ” More SugasmJoin the Sugasm (Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.) Thoughts on Sex and Relationships A Way With Words: Aural Fixation (http://exploreros.blogspot.com) Breaking the golden rule, Part I (http://www.betweensheets.net) Confronting Things Head-On: How We Got Here (Part 1 of 2) (http://perverselypoly.blogspot.com) Sex Addict?! (http://www.model-chat.com) Sex and the Movies (http://hard-and-fast.blogspot.com) “Tossing the Salad” (http://sexeteria.net) Sex & Politics Anti-Anti-Pornography, Part III: A Concept (http://www.teen-porn-site.com/blog) NSFW Pics (& videos) First alone thanksgiving (http://stealthbombshell.blogspot.com) Get a grip! (http://kitchen-girls.blogspot.com) Half-Nekkid Sex Blogging (http://www.tarasnaughtyshop.com) Happy HNT - Sexy Holiday Stockings (http://darkside-journey.blogspot.com) “I Like Men, Women, Angels…” (http://totalsensuality.blogspot.com) MILF sucks on a cock (4) (video) (http://deepthroat.ilovejulienight.com) BDSM and Fetish A Nawty Story: Kitten’s Reward and Punishment (http://anawtymouz.blogspot.com) On Loan, Finale (http://engrailed.com) Sex Work What Happened to Good Old Fashioned BDSM? (http://lipstickexplosion.com) Erotic Writing and Experiences A Break From The Dance (http://mandyseroticlife.blogspot.com) Crush - Part II (http://lafillemariee.blogspot.com) Eyes (http://designingintimacy.blogspot.com) Guy #2: November 24, 2006 - The Swing (http://mysexualmisadventures.blogspot.com) He Says (http://sexcakes.blogspot.com) I am yours (http://wetbeyondbelief.blogspot.com) Late Night Meeting (http://dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com) Lori – Part II (http://masterenigma.blogspot.com) My girlfriend the stripper, part 1 (http://erotischism.blogspot.com) Phoenix Has a Long Night at The Office (http://dirtydetails.blogspot.com) The School Camp (http://wanklog.blogspot.com) Why I Love My Job… (http://stilettodiaries.blogspot.com) Sex News & Reviews Girls with Guns: There’s Nothing Sexier (http://www.taratainton.com) Most Erotic Sex Movie Scene (http://ncnewcpl4u.blogspot.com) Ray Spade Retro Collection (http://retrosexblog.com) Welcome to “Sir Dirty Joke” by Sir Dirty Joke (http://sexblogwelcome.blogspot.com) Why You Shouldn’t Spend Money On SkinVideo (http://ylovesporn.com) Sexy Humor What did Simon Cowell do before he was famous? (http://sextoysinsider.com)

Another meme

I've had a very quiet day today. I've had most of the day to myself and I've been watching movies and relaxing. I saw this meme on Angelbrat's blog and thought I'd give it a try today. It looked fun! I'm not tagging anyone today but if you do it, please let me know and I'll check out your answers. I hope everyone had a good weekend. Gratitude Tuesday tommorow and I have my list ready to go. I hope everyone enjoyed my interview yesterday with Everything Goes. :) Thank you to everyone who played along with the game on the weekend. I put up a picture of Master Anakin pointing at me as I was being a brat and I asked people what do you think he was saying? The answer to it was he was telling me that I was being a bad girl and to get upstairs to our bedroom for a spanking. I remember that spanking very well. I was being a real brat and pouting and he just pointed at me and said that to me. I got a very intense hand spanking that day til my butt was cherry red. Thanks for playing along everyone! I hope to put up more games like that one. Now onto the meme... My “been there, done that” answers are in red. 01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink 02. Swam with wild dolphins 03. Climbed a mountain 04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive 05. Been inside the Great Pyramid 06. Held a tarantula 07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone (with Master Anakin on our honeymoon) 08. Said “I love you” and meant it 09. Hugged a tree 10. Bungee jumped 11. Visited Paris (when I was 13 years old) 12. Watched a lightning storm at sea 13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise (in beautiful Las Vegas!) 14. Seen the Northern Lights 15. Gone to a huge sports game (and survived the crush afterwards) 16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa 17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables 18. Touched an iceberg 19. Slept under the stars 20. Changed a baby’s diaper 21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon 22. Watched a meteor shower 23. Gotten drunk on champagne 24. Given more than you can afford to charity 25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope 26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment 27. Had a food fight (with Master Anakin) 28. Bet on a winning horse 29. Asked out a stranger 30. Had a snowball fight (with Master Anakin) 31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can 32. Held a lamb 33. Seen a total eclipse 34. Ridden a roller coaster (with Master Anakin) 35. Hit a home run 36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking 37. Adopted an accent for an entire day 38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment 39. Had two hard drives for your computer 40. Visited all 50 states 41. Taken care of someone who was drunk 42. Had amazing friends 43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country 44. Watched wild whales 45. Stolen a sign 46. Backpacked in Europe 47. Taken a road-trip (this last summer to Oregon Coast/San Fran) 48. Gone rock climbing 49. Midnight walk on the beach 50. Gone sky diving 51. Visited Ireland 52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love 53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them 54. Visited Japan 55. Milked a cow 56. Alphabetized your CDs 57. Pretended to be a superhero 58. Sung karaoke 59. Lounged around in bed all day 60. Played touch football 61. Gone scuba diving 62. Kissed in the rain (with Master Anakin) 63. Played in the mud 64. Played in the rain 65. Gone to a drive-in theater (with Master Anakin) 66. Visited the Great Wall of China 67. Started a business 68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken 69. Toured ancient sites 70. Taken a martial arts class 71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight 72. Gotten married (to Master Anakin) 73. Been in a movie 74. Crashed a party 75. Gotten divorced 76. Gone without food for 5 days (only 3 days without food) 77. Made cookies from scratch 78. Won first prize in a costume contest 79. Ridden a gondola in Venice 80. Gotten a tattoo (my butterfly one on my birthday and my red roses tattoo's) 81. Rafted the Snake River 82. Been on television news programs as an “expert” 83. Got flowers for no reason (from Master Anakin) 84. Performed on stage 85. Been to Las Vegas (five times) 86. Recorded music 87. Eaten shark 88. Kissed on the first date 89. Gone to Thailand 90. Bought a house 91. Been in a combat zone 92. Buried one/both of your parents 93. Been on a cruise ship 94. Spoken more than one language fluently 95. Performed in Rocky Horror 96. Raised children (skywalker and Princess Leia) 97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour 99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country 100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over 101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge (this last summer) 102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking 103. Had plastic surgery 104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived (in 2001) 105. Wrote articles for a large publication 106. Lost over 100 pounds 107. Held someone while they were having a flashback 108. Piloted an airplane 109. Touched a stingray 110. Broken someone’s heart 111. Helped an animal give birth 112. Won money on a T.V. game show 113. Broken a bone 114. Gone on an African photo safari 115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears 116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol 117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild 118. Ridden a horse 119. Had major surgery 120. Had a snake as a pet 121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon 122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours 123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states 124. Visited all 7 continents 125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days 126. Eaten kangaroo meat 127. Eaten sushi (yum!) 128. Had your picture in the newspaper 129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about 130. Gone back to school 131. Parasailed 132. Touched a cockroach 133. Eaten fried green tomatoes 134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey 135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read 136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating 137. Skipped all your school reunions 138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language 139. Been elected to public office 140. Written your own computer language 141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream 142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care 143. Built your own PC from parts 144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you 145. Had a booth at a street fair 146. Dyed your hair (blonde) 147. Been a DJ 148. Shaved your head 149. Caused a car accident 150. Saved someone’s life May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Interview with Everything Goes

This is my 4th interview today in my new series, Padme's Interviews. I'm very excited today to be interviewing two of my closest friend's. I want to thank Grizzly Bear and good girl from Everything Goes for participating in my new series and letting me interview them and put two very sexy photos of them up for today's interviews. I love good girl's picture of her playing out a scene of their favorite movie, Secretary. It was one of my favorite HNT's of their's. I also love the big smiles in the other picture with the saran wrap. Griz has given me many great ideas which includes the saran wrap bondage Master Anakin and I tried this year. I also have gotten some very sexy videos from him. Both of them gave me the most beautiful crop that has become one of my favorite spanking toys for my birthday. They are one of the cutest couple's I know and I'm so glad to be good friend's with them both. :) I put up a game for my blog post yesterday. Please give it a try and play along if you havn't already. I've had a fun time reading everyone's comments to it. I put up a picture of Master Anakin's finger pointing at me and asked you all what do you think he was saying to me. I plan to put up the answer to it in my next blog post. Master Anakin has been working on our holiday panties HNT for this week. Stay tuned. It's a really neat one. If you would like to be interviewed/reviewed for my new series please contact me at shyanne.blog@gmail.com. I'm hoping to make this a weekly feature of our blog and I need more people to interview. Please consider giving this a try. I just send you questions and you send back your answers through e-mail and I put it up with two pictures that either you or I could get to represent you or your blog. Thank you to all who have participated in this series. I'm really enjoying getting to know everyone. I hope everyone else is enjoying it also. It's your chance to know other blogger's and their blog's. If you have missed the other interviews, please check them out. I have had the chance to interview American Spanking Society, Tiggr, and Katie Spades. Everything Goes is one of my favorite blog's. I don't think a day goes by that I don't check their blog several times a day. My friendship with Griz and good girl go beyond the blogs. We have talked on the phone and chatted a lot on yahoo. Master Anakin and I are both hoping to attend their wedding next year and meet them. We have known them almost a year now. I want to thank them for everything they have done for Master and I. They are truly two of the nicest people you will meet. Please check out their blog today and tell them I sent you!! They have a fantastic collection of HNT pictures that are so erotic and naughty. They have a great series called Masturbation Monday that I have participated in. They've made Monday's a really fun day for me and others out there! They update their blog frequently and always have interesting and fun blog posts. The first thing you see when you go to their blog is a description of their blog which says: A newly in love couple exploring submission, dominance, sexuality, bondage, and toys with no reservations Griz and good girl remind me a lot of Master Anakin and I when we first started out our D/s relationship. good girl recently started a blog called good girl's training journal which is a interesting read also as you can read about their training they have done. I'd like to thank them also for putting up my new graphic on their blog for padme's interviews. I appreciate it very much! If anyone else is interested in putting it up on their blog, please let me know. Interview with Everything Goes 1. Q: What is the name of your blog? A: "Everything Goes " Q: How did you come up with the name of your blog? A: "We are always interested in trying new things and exploring our limits, and we wanted a name that reflected that." 2. Q: When did you start blogging? A: "We started blogging in December of 2005 sort of on a whim. We started talking about it one morning, and by lunch time, Everything Goes was born. " Q: Were you reading blogs before starting your own? A: "Yes. The first blog good girl read was Submissive Reflections. It was reading that blog that led to good girl’s submissive awakening. I showed Sarah’s blog to Griz and one blog led to another, and pretty soon we were regularly reading 10 or so. " 3. Q: Do you have any series on your blog? If so, how did you come up with the idea for them? What are your series about? A: "We have a series called Masturbation Monday. As part of good girl’s submission to Griz, she is only allowed to masturbate once a week on Monday. So, we made a game of it and invited everyone else to masturbate along with her! Good girl posts her masturbation story and we invite our readers to share their masturbation stories in our comments or on their own blogs. We also have a series of toy reviews, where we write about our experiences with sex toys that we own. " 4. Q: How did you two meet? Are you engaged? A: "We met through an online dating service over a year ago. We hit it off right away. We got engaged a few months ago and are planning our wedding for next year. " 5. Q: How did you two come up with the names good girl and Griz? A: "The first time Griz called me his good girl, I melted and fell into subspace. So, that was his nickname for me and it worked well for our blog. Griz is short for Grizzly Bear, a nickname I gave him because he’s big and hairy and growls like I imagine a giant bear would. " 6. Q: Can you tell people a bit about yourselves? A: "We’re both in our mid-20’s, share an apartment together, and try to have equal amounts of sex and laughter in our lives. " 7. Q: What are your hobbies? A: "Griz likes to build things, for example he built a bondage chair out of pipe and built a spreader bar. He also built a chain dress for good girl. " 8. Q: Do you two enjoy bondage or role playing/dress up or any bdsm? A: "We enjoy bondage and bdsm very much. We haven’t done any role playing yet, but I can definitely see it in our future. " 9. Q: When did you two start getting into spanking? A: "After the first time we watched the movie Secretary. Griz took me into the bedroom, bent me over the bed and spanked me. We’ve gotten into it more recently, started playing with spanking toys. I think eventually I’d like to explore spankings as a means of discipline, but we’ll have to see. " 10. Q: What's your favorite spanking toy? A: "good girl’s favorite is Griz’s hand; Griz’s favorite is the crop " 11. Q: What's your least favorite spanking toy? A: "good girl’s least favorite is the wooden spoon; Griz doesn’t have one, he loves using anything and everything to spank my ass! " 12. Q: What's the most interesting place you've had sex together? A: "We had sex on the leather ottoman in my parents’ living room once while they were at the grocery store. It was so sexy and naughty b/c we didn’t know when they’d be home, not to mention that people sit on the ottoman all the time! " 13. Q: What's your favorite HNT picture that you've done so far on your blog? A: "Griz’s favorite is the chain dress HNT we did, he made me that dress and is very proud of it; good girl’s favorite is the crop HNT we did. " 14. Q: Are you two Star wars fans? Yes Q: If so, what is your favorite star wars movie? A: "Griz: Episode 2, good girl: episodes 3 and 4 Q: Who's your favorite Star wars character? A: Gg:han solo, Griz: yoda, r2, grievous, etc" 15. Q: What other adventures are in store for Everything Goes? A: "Everything goes is an adventure in and of itself, we are getting married next summer and from there who know what will happen. Q: Do you have any future plans for your blog? A: Life happens, when an idea happens it happens. So the answer is no, planning really doesn’t happen with our blog, our blog just happens. " ....... Thank you Grizzly Bear and good girl for participating in my new series, padme's interviews and letting me and everyone else know a bit more about you. Great answers!! Please check out Everything Goes today. I hope everyone is having a good weekend. Mine has been very relaxing and I really enjoyed my date with Master Anakin yesterday. I recommend the new James Bond movie, Casino Royale. It was really good and I really enjoyed Daniel Craig playing Bond. I got a spanking last night and am a content slave today. I feel focused and my force is strong through Master. I found out some interesting news today. Master Anakin and I are planning to go to the Vancouver Taboo Naughty but Nice Sex show in Vancouver next month. Master R was telling me he wanted to go with us to it. My ex husband told me today that my ex sister in law is going to be selling sex toys there. Hmmm....should be interesting to run into her there. She apparently made a lot of money selling out at the one in Edmonton. My ex looked pretty surprised when I told him I was planning to go to it. :) May the force be with you all!! ~padme Technorati Tags: interview, sex show, Casino Royale, Journey to the Darkside

What do you think he was saying?

I thought I'd play a little game here at Journey to the Darkside. I was looking through old photos this morning. I'm trying to dig out a few holiday erotic pictures we took from last year. We have so many new reader's and many were not reading our blog back then. I want to put up a few new pictures also in the next month from our archives. There are so many I havn't had the chance to put up yet. This picture is one of them. Master Anakin and I were taking pictures in the summer and I was doing something naughty so he stuck his finger at me and said in his most stern Darth voice "...."??? Please leave a comment or e-mail at shyanne.blog@gmail.com what you think he was saying to me that day. You can just tell by my body language that I am pouting and needing a spanking pretty bad!! :) I'm really curious to hear your responses today. Please play along. I'm so curious what you all will come up with for this picture. I will let you know on Monday what it was he was saying to me. I remember this picture fondly. I was wearing a sheer pink lingerie and panties outfit and my innocent white thigh hi's. I knew I was in trouble when he pointed his finger right at me. I remember the spanking that followed it. :) I am feeling a little more centered and focused today after my night last night. I will share the details from last night if anyone is interested?? I did get a very hard spanking last night and it's sore to sit on today as a reminder. We had some very intense play. Darth came out and the darkside was with us last night. Thank you for all the comments on my post yesterday. I really appreciate your comments and I often read your comment's many times. I am so glad to know I am not alone out there. That others understand me and why I do things sometimes. November was a hard month for Master Anakin and I and this is a bit of a difficult time of year for us both. I really want to thank all the reader's for their support and thank you for being there for us. I saw this meme at Tiggr's and thought I'd give it a try this morning. I'm waiting for Master to get back so we can go on our date. He's taking me for lunch and a movie today. We have sitting for our son. I really need this escape right now and break. I won't be online very much today. I have many blogs to catch up on tommorow. I hope everyone is having a good weekend. I have another interview ready to go up in the next few days. Stay tuned for that!! A meme to be answered in one word. Describe: 1. Yourself: Submissive 2. Your spouse: Dominant 3. Your hair: blonde 4. Your mother: insecure 5. Your father: controlling 6. Your favorite item: slippers 7. Your dream last night: intense 8. Your favorite drink: vodka 9. Your dream car: Jeep 10. The room you are in: Living 11. Your ex: angry 12. Your fear: spiders 13. What you want to be in ten years: happy 14. Who you hung out with last night: Master 15. What you're not: famous 16. Muffins: chocolate-chip 17. One of your wish list items: Tawse 18. Time: flies 19. The last thing you did: showered 20. What you are wearing: my collar 21. Your favorite weather: sunny 22. Your favorite book: Submission (by Marthe Blau) 23. The last thing you ate: cookie 24. Your life: interesting 25. Your mood: Horny 26. Your best friend: Master 27. What are you thinking about right now: spankings! 28. Your car: cold 29. What are you doing at the moment: thinking 30. Your summer: Hot 31. Your relationship status: Married 32. What is on your TV: Elf 33. What is the weather like: cold 34. When is the last time you laughed: last night I'm not tagging anyone but the meme's here if anyone wants to give it a whirl. Master just came home and told me we are going to see the new James Bond movie, Casino Royale. I'm curious about this movie and heard a lot about it. I'll let you know what I think of it in my next post. Has anyone seen it? If so, what did you think? Hope everyone is having a good weekend. May the force be with you all!! ~padme

Is it the weekend yet?

Is it the weekend yet? Is it really Friday? It has felt like the longest week ever to me. I am emotionally drained and extremely tired. I am feeling very low this week. I've shed a lot of tears. I just feel very inner and quiet right now. I don't feel like talking to anyone and that includes Master Anakin. This hasn't been a good week for us. The darkside has been looming over us. If you read my blog post, Cast Away Dreams on padme's devotions you probably know that things are not right with me right now. I've been listening to Lindsey Buckingham's cd a lot lately and that song, Cast Away Dreams really affects me. I cry every single time I hear it. It's so beautiful and speaks to me with what I am going through right now. I feel like I am letting go of many dreams right now. Things are changing in my life and there is nothing I can do about it. The holidays are coming up. I feel stressed over the many things that need to be done. The anniversary of my one very painful miscarriage with Master is on Sunday. I am having to accept the reality that there are no more children in our future. I am wanting another child so much. I want a baby!! He's had a vasectomy so that dream is now over. I always wanted a third child. My grandma and mom both had three children. I wanted three but after many miscarriages Master made the decision to have his vasectomy. He's 7 years older than me and didn't want anymore children. I'm 34 and I feel like I'm still young enough to want another baby. I wanted more but it's not up to me. He chose for me to have our son. And he chose to not have anymore children after him. I admit fully that this has put some resentment into me. I feel angry lately and emotional. Master has blamed my period but I know it's not just that. It's this time of year. It's the memories of the past. It's all the changes happening. It's letting go of some dreams... Master Anakin feels done with the poly aspect of our relationship. We've had some talks lately and he's told me he feels done with sharing me with anyone else. I am not ready to give up the poly. I am bisexual and have a need to be with other women. I want to feel the love of a woman again. I'm not sure how to give up that part of myself. I could give up other men like Master R. Him and I havn't seen each other in a long time and have taken a break from one another. The hardest part for me is giving up my wanting to be with other women. The bisexual feelings that are in my heart. Master Anakin told me he's shared me for ten years and he said he's tired of seeing my heart break because of other people. He's not interested in other women either he has told me. He said he had his experience with nikki and he feels that he's done with that part of himself. He wants us to go monogomous. So this is a bit of a issue also between us. This week there has been a lot of distance between us. We have fought quite a bit and there has been no sex or play or spankings. I feel a lot of tension built up in me and frustration. I did something yesterday that I am not proud of. I took off my collar and threw it at Master Anakin after a big disagreement. He took it and refused to put it around my neck after. So I went to bed for the first time in a very long time without the collar around my neck. I havn't felt very submissive lately. I want to resist control. I feel so many emotions towards him right now. I may not be online very much today or this weekend. I wasn't sure about even doing a blog post today. I felt a need to be honest and needed a safe place to vent. Master hasn't been into blogging lately. He hasn't done a Ask Anakin in weeks or didn't want to do the HNT also this week. I have been tempted to take a break myself from blogging but another part of me really needs to let my feelings out. I feel many fears right now even if they seem silly to Master. I'm going to admit that I am scared that losing the poly might lose the D/s too. Will he want to give that up too? Master R has pretty much done that. He feels too old to be a Dom anymore. Will this happen to Master Anakin too? I'm worried. I'm scared to submit to him because I am scared of being hurt. He's been sick with a cold this week so he hasn't been very dominant until last night and Darth came out because he was frustrated with me. I havn't been easy to live with this week. A few times I have really wished he would just take me over his knee and spank me. I think sometimes he withdrawals from me emotionally as a way to punish me. I would much rather take the hard spanking any day than that. This is a spanking and sex blog and I enjoy all my naughty and fun blog posts. There are times I feel like being honest and really opening up. Master Anakin and I have our struggles even after ten years of D/s and being together. There are many bumps along our journey. There are many times I just don't feel like being a slave. I don't want to submit. This is not a easy lifestyle to live sometimes. The poly part especially has been one of constant struggles and many disappointments. I admit that after amber and I slept together at the end of August and then I only heard from her once and now she's disappeared that is soured some feelings also about the poly. I don't feel like being intimate again with someone only for a night or two and then they take off. I always wanted more. Like what schiava and I had together. We were like sisters. We understood each other and had so much in common. I miss her a lot in my life and think of her often. We didn't have any luck with the personal ads this year. Most of the people who answered on our ads were only interested in a fuck toy. I also fell in love with someone this year who didn't love me back. I'm having a hard time getting over her. This has been a hard year with the poly. Many people have come and gone. Master's tired of it all. He has told me he's done with it. Poly can be fun and I know I will miss that aspect the most. We shared a lot of wild times and many memories and fantasies over the last ten years. He's had a threesome with two women. I've had a threesome with two men. We've had a foursome situation. I loved all the naughtiness. Poly can also be very hard to maintain. Things went bad for schiava and I because of the distance and time zones. I honestly wonder what things will be like if we do go monogomous. What will that be like? Can I be bisexual and never be with a woman again? I have many feelings with going monogomous that I am struggling with right now. Master and I have been poly almost since the beginning of our relationship. I'm sure I'll be doing more blog posts about the poly more in the future as we try to figure things out. I appreciate all the comments to our HNT picture and post. I really loved the sexy holiday stockings. We are so happy to get feedback and hear from everyone. I am hoping to put up another interview soon so stay tuned for that. We also have a HNT picture next week of my new holiday panties. I put up a picture today of my complete outfit last Friday night when I was wearing my holiday thigh hi's that you saw in our HNT post. It's my leather skirt and cupcake shirt. I think they make a cute combination. The leather with the cute shirt. If you look close you can see my hard nipples also. I really like this picture. I am so glad it's Friday. My kid's are back in school today but were off yesterday. I've been housebound this week with cold temperatures outside and fighting kid's inside. It's been enough to drive me nut's. Boy I could really use a spanking right now. To feel some escape. To feel some pain on my ass. I am hoping for some play this weekend but it's uncertain if we will.... I could really use a few shots of vodka and a fireplace and Master and I alone time. I am craving it so strong right now. My force needing him so much... I saw this meme from ceeci and wanted to give it a try. What are you proud of: I'm most proud of being a mother and my kid's. I've tried to do a good job raising my kid's and I'm very proud to see their accomplishments. Today my daughter is going in for belt testing for her purple karate belt. She's worked very hard for it. It's day like today I feel so proud of her and my kid's. What time do you wake up in the morning? During the week I'm almost always up by 7 am to get my kid's ready for school. On the weekend's I usually get to sleep in longer. If there was one person I could go back into the past to talk to who would it be? I would love so much to go back into the past to talk to my Bah Bah (Russian for grandma) Boy I miss her during the holidays and special times. I was inspired by her and she's practically raised me. I miss her so much. She loved me unconditionally and raised me to be a lady. Name 5 things in your freezer at this very moment... ~chicken nugget's ~vodka ~ice ~salmon ~ice cream Do you believe in afterlife? Absolutely. What are your top 5 sites you visit daily? ~blogger ~Daily Om (horosope) ~yahoo ~mybc.com ~Hotmail Five things you ate that you will never eat again: ~liver ~cooked spinach ~my ex husband's tomato soup ~McDonald's hamburgers ~Roast Beef Dip from Boston Pizza (don't ask) Five things that make you happy: ~my kitten, Meisha and also my kid's hugs ~orgasms ~Master Anakin and his love and support ~spankings make me very happy :) ~great sex Tag some blogging friend's: ~Maggie Dear ~good girl ~katie spades ~Nancy/SNN ~bonnie and anyone else who wants to give this meme a try. Have a good weekend and TGIF. May the force be with you all!! ~padme