Happy Canada Day from the Skywalkers!

We wanted to put up our special picture that we took for our holiday tommorow. Happy Canada Day to everyone! Master is off tommorow and we have plans to go to a Canada day celebration. I hope we can watch the fireworks too as that is on my bucket list. I have never been to the fireworks on Canada Day before and would love to experience that. I bought some Canada flag temporary tatoo's from the dollar store and put one on to celebrate Canada Day in my own private way with Master Anakin. He always loves when I am flashing my tits at him. Now that I'm pregnant he says that the titty fairy has come to visit me. He loves when they get bigger during the pregnancy. I've got a Doctor's appointment this afternoon to confirm the pregnancy and get some tests done. I also plan to talk to him about everything as I have a few concerns about the pregnancy and so does Master. I am feeling so tired these days. I'm glad my kids are on summer vacation so I can sleep in and not have to get up so early. The heat is really wearing me out too. It was a very hot weekend and it just made me feel like sleeping. Summer is here! Time to start thinking about the beach and where we are going to go on our family vacation this year. I havn't been spanked in a while and I'm craving one SO bad these days. Master is taking care of me and being extra gentle with me because of the pregnancy. The need for rough play is always with me though. I miss Master being in Darth mode. I have even tried to be a bit of a brat lately to get his attention. I have not been sticking to my diet recently. I've had cravings and I want to eat all the time! I want ice-cream and cake and anything sweet. Master did take me to Dairy Queen on the weekend but it wasn't enough. I've been eating a lot of leftover birthday cake and dug into the chips too this morning. I told Master about it and he wasn't too impressed. He mentioned that we should ask the blog what he should do about this. Should he spank me for not sticking to my diet? Or is it ok to go off the diet because of the pregnancy? Please vote in our latest poll on our side bar. We'd love to hear from you! You can chose multiple answers. Or leave us a comment and let us know what you think! The results are in from our poll from last week asking you if you have ever been to a swingers club before? 33% Yes! I enjoyed it. 0% Yes. I didn't enjoy it. 20% No. I have no interest in going. 46% No but I'd like to go. I hope Master Anakin and I will be able to go to a swingers party again sometime. We had a lot of fun at our last one. I'm not too sure what will happen now that I'm pregnant. We took a long break from poly when I was pregnant with Skywalker. I won't be online tommorow as I plan to spend Canada Day with Master and the kids and enjoy the holiday. I hope everyone has a wonderful day! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Sex Quiz

I got this quiz from Vie and it looked fun to try: Your result for The What's your sexual style? Test... TYPE N You are a KINKY, CONFIDENT, SUBMISSIVE lover who prefers to GIVE. This means that: You like relatively kinky sex, and you have the great imagination that will always keep your partner guessing and excited! There's no getting bored with you around, you could never settle for dull sex, you want something fun and new all the time. You aren't afraid to try out anything you hear about. You might just be an intelligent lover who needs to be mentally engaged, or perhaps you have some dirty dark secret kinky desires, but either way, you're never boring. You are pretty confident in bed. This means that you know you can please your lover. Maybe you've read a lot of sex manuals, or have the experience from previous lovers, or just tend to be skilled at whatever you get your hands on, but you're good and you know it. You can really get results and know that you have pure talent, so you won't be hiding away shy, pretending to be all innocent. Your partners love your naughty self assurance, you don't hesitate and this makes you a sensational lover. You tend to be submissive in bed, so you prefer to go along with what your lover likes rather than your own plans. You might like being ordered around and acting out a slave/master fantasy, or perhaps you just get turned on by being helpless and unable to move. Or maybe it's as simple as you lacking courage so prefering firm instructions in bed to make sure you are doing things right. Either way, you won't be dominating your lover anytime soon, and might prefer the missionary position to any others. You prefer to give than recieve. This makes you a very unselfish lover, devoted to the needs of your partner rather than your own. You get your pleasure from seeing them get theirs, you are a model sex partner. I'm sure plenty of people would love to have someone like you in bed with them! Remember though that if your partner gets pleasure from returning the favour it's okay to let them, they might love giving as much as you do! WE SUGGEST YOU: Get crazy with the kissing. It sounds basic, but perhaps with all your wonderful kinky antics and games, you have forgotten how good it can feel just to kiss someone all over, and have the same done to you! Practise with different kissing styles, kiss your lover in places you've never kissed them before. Kiss to tickle, kiss to seduce, kiss for hours, or kiss when you know you can't go any furthur with it, like when you have to be at work soon. Rediscover kissing. Take The What's your sexual style? Test at HelloQuizzy

Happy birthday Leia!

I wanted to do a special birthday post for Leia's birthday which we are celebrating today. It's a special birthday celebration for one of the Skywalker's today. We are having a birthday bbq party for Leia today to celebrate her 13th birthday! I can remember the day she was born. It was a very hot day (similar to the weather this weekend) and I had been in labor for 48 hours after my water had broken after leaving the Doctor's office. I was 38 weeks along and I spent a lot of time walking around the hospital trying to get labor going. I eventually had a c-section and out came my baby girl. I was overcome with emotions and so much joy and happiness. I was also terribly sick from the morphine. I didn't realize it at the time but I am allergic to morphine and it made me so ill that I barely got to hold my baby girl for the first day of her life. I can remember that moment they wheeled down my newborn girl down for me to hold her in my arms the day after she was born. Her tiny little fingers wrapped around my finger and the bond that was created. My life had changed forever with knowing that I was a mom and that I had created a life. Those first few days were so scary. I can remember watching her sleep and almost afraid she would wake up. I was unsure of myself as a mom and was still trying to figure out how to take care of a newborn. Those days were so amazing though and created some of the most precious memories for me. I can remember dancing with her in my arms to get her to go to sleep and her looking up at me with her blue sparkling eyes. I couldn't believe how beautiful she was and precious! I couldn't really afford to get her stuff but I went to garage sales and flea markets to find her the cutest outfits for a deal. She had some of the most cutest little girl outfits and I loved to dress her in pink. It might explain why Leia is so girlie now and loves to dress up and do her makeup and hair. She has grown into a beautiful woman and is headed to high school in the Fall. I'm very proud of her. She can drive me crazy sometimes with the hormones and mood swings but she's a really good kid with a big caring heart and she's a lot like me in many ways. There are things she does which reminds me of myself as a kid. We have surprised her with getting something she has wanted for months. My ex husband and I both went in on the gift and got her Rockband for the Playstation 2. She has no idea that she is getting it. I can't wait to see her face when she opens her gift today. She is getting a bunch of other stuff too and I'm looking forward to the bbq today and party. It's such a hot day and will be a very nice day for bbq'ing. Happy 13th birthday to Princess Leia! I've had a pretty laid back weekend. I got to see the movie, The Bucket List yesterday which is on my bucket list. It was excellent and I cried a lot at the ending. I get to cross off: #204 - Watch the movie, The Bucket list I promised Master a blowjob yesterday but I was exhausted due to the heat and my pregnancy. Master has been taking care of me and I am so lucky to have him. My force is strong and runs through him... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

I'm pregnant

I took another pregnancy test this morning with Master there by my side and the line showed up a lot more clear than the other one did. Master took a picture of it. You can see a line there showing that I am pregnant. The morning light came in through the window as we sat there hugging each other and Master gave me his full support. It was a very beautiful moment actually. Holding the test and seeing the line and him embracing me and telling me that it's going to be ok. I felt really reassured. I sent out a few e-mails and did my twitter and I've been doing a lot of thinking this morning about it all. I do believe that everything happens for a reason and that this was meant to be. Today is the anniversary of Skywalker's conception. 8 years ago we created a baby together. Today we find out that we are going to have another one. Life works in mysterious ways. I thought that chapter of my life was over but life has a way of surprising you sometimes and sending you down a different path. I keep rubbing my belly today and feeling almost a bit giddy about it. I'm still stressed as there is a lot to think about now but I feel a lot better at least having an answer so I can properly deal with this. I hated not having an answer and having everything up in the air the last week. I really appreciate all the support from our readers and friends. Even my sister sent me a truly amazing and supportive e-mail this morning. We don't plan to tell our families (with the exception of my sister) for a while but we did want to share this news with our blog. It is a new chapter for Journey to the Darkside. I have never blogged during any of my pregnancies before. I was so very touched by some really amazing e-mails I receieved the last few days from others...some of who have been in similar situations themselves. THANK YOU! You have no idea how much it meant to me to not feel alone in what I am going through. I appreciate the comments too from everyone. I have had a few comments and e-mails from others mentioning the adoption option to me and thinking that Master and I should consider it. I am against adoption as well as abortion and that was never an option for us. I know someone close to me who gave their baby up for adoption and she regretted her decision and is trying to find her child she gave up. It has eaten her alive and she would never support that decision if I did make it. I personally can't imagine giving a child up. I am married to a good man who supports me and we have done a great job raising our two children and we have a good home (although we might need a bigger one now) and we can financially support another child. We will be having the child and we will be moving forward with the pregnancy. I just hope that this doesn't end in miscarriage like so many of my other pregnancies. I plan to see my Doctor on Monday to confirm the result and also discuss my health with him. I do not want Drew (the guy from Goodhandy's) involved in this pregnancy. I am not sure yet what we will tell people but I want Master to raise this child as his own. He is a fantastic Dad to our two children and I know he will make a great dad to the baby. I am incredibly lucky to have such a supportive and amazing Master and husband by my side for this. I wish I had the time to respond to all the e-mails from everyone but I need to do a few more things today to get ready for Leia's birthday bbq party tommorow. It's going to be a very hot weekend and I'm really glad for air conditioning we have in our livingroom. At least people won't be melting away during the party. Thank you again for the support and comments and e-mails. Thank you for joining us on our Journey... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

TGIF! A very long and stressful week...

TGIF. It's been a very, very long and stressful week for me and I don't remember the last time I felt as stressed out as I have been. I decided yesterday after a week of pregnancy symptoms to take a test. It was 4 days early but I needed an answer. It's been all that I can think of the last week. I was hoping that this would give me some relief. Deep inside though I just knew that it wouldn't be negative. I've been pregnant enough times to know. I truly think a woman just knows inside when there are different things going on with her body. Even Master noticed my boobs have gotten swollen and bigger. I'm tired, I'm hungry as heck, I'm peeing constantly and nauseated. My uterus feels bigger and bloated. My hand was shaking as I took the test and was not too surprised to see a faint line show up to say that I'm pregnant. It says that even if the line is faint that it still means that you are pregnant. I have never had a false positive test before. I have had a false negative one when I took it too early with Leia. I think I took it too early and that is why it came out faint. There is never much of the pregnancy hormone in the early stages. I know it was enough to freak me out so bad that I had a very hard time sleeping last night. I tossed and turned and my mind was spinning in overdrive. I feel sick to my stomach with guilt and disgust for myself. It's been eating me up inside. I can remember being a bit judgemental when my friend, C got pregnant during her marriage. She was having an affair and got pregnant and her husband had a vasectomy so she didn't know how to tell him about it. She decided to have an abortion. I am against abortion and really didn't understand what she was going through at the time. I am probably pregnant with a stranger's baby with some guy that I met at a sex club. All I know is that he was married and cheating and I know his first name...if that is even his first name that he told me. What does that say about me? I promised myself I would never sleep with another married man again after R and all that happened. Then I go out and sleep with a cheating married man. I have only ever been pregnant with the two men's babies that I married and that I loved...my ex husband and Master. I've never gone through anything like this before. I keep going through the Goodhandy's night in my head. Why did I feel the need to sleep with him? I didn't think I could have sex with a stranger like that. Was it the alcohol? Why didn't he tell me the condom was missing? WHY? Maybe he assumed I was on the birth control pill or something. It eats me up inside that a one night mistake may have a very big consequence. I am not sure how much support I will get. I am not close to my parent's. My mom is going through her own big problems. My sister has her own feelings on the subject and don't see her supporting it. I don't have too many close friends. Do I tell DL? What the heck do I tell Master's family? What do I even tell my own children? That mommy is pregnant with some guy's baby?? Do we just tell people that it's Master's child and lie? Lies have a way of coming out. Can we really lie to everyone forever about this? The complications from this are HUGE. I really don't think anyone can understand this unless they have gone through something similar. Master and I have gone through tests in the last 12 years together but nothing like this one. It's put some serious strain on our relationship. We've had some pretty big discussions and a few fights over this. He gave me permission to have sex on the trip but I keep hearing his words echo in my head before I left on my trip "don't come back pregnant". It was on my rules. I broke the rule if I did indeed come back pregnant. I wonder if it's too much to ask for him to accept the child as his own. It's not like my situation with Leia because I had her before we were even together. I feel like I am asking too much for him to accept and I wonder if our marriage and family will survive this? Will we be ok? I hope he can forgive me for this and that we will be ok. I love him so much and I don't think I can do this alone without him by my side. I think we have been really lucky up until now that this didn't happen before. I used condoms with Max and Master R. This could have easily happened that I could have gotten accidently pregnant. It still feels a bit different as I was in relationships with them and I do believe both of them would have taken some responsibility. This is some guy from a sex club. I am so deeply ashamed and I feel so much guilt inside. Would this affect my feelings for the baby? Would the baby look like him? My mind spins from the things that I have been thinking about the last week. I have to wait until this weekend to take another test and I have a Doctor's appointment on Monday to also confirm the test and also to get the STD tests done too. My Doctor advised me to not get pregnant also and I will have to discuss the risks to my health also. I have a high risk of miscarriage. I'm sure he will be surprised by this news too. He knew that Master was getting a vasectomy and our last discussion was about menopause and a different chapter in my life. My kids are home now for summer vacation. It was a bit strange and emotional to say goodbye yesterday to Leia's grade 7 teacher and see the slide show of the goodbye as she is leaving up to the high school. I walked her home from elementary school for the last time yesterday. I can remember her first day of kindergarden...I cried that day too as my girl was growing up on me. Yesterday felt the same for me. She is going on to a new chapter in her life and growing up so much! She turns 13 in the next few days and I will be the mom of a official teenager. I really thought I was done having my kids. One turns 13 and I might be having another one. This is not how I imagined my life at this stage of my life. I am very scared that I will be going through a pregnancy alone with zero support. It was hard enough when I went through my pregnancy with Leia and my ex husband didn't support me enough. At least my mom was there for me and helped me through it and attended the birth with me and prenatal classes. I honestly am not sure how I am going to cope. I feel severely depressed and I've had several big panic attacks the last few days. What have I done? Was a one night stand worth the risk of what is happening now? I wish I could go back and make a different choice but I can't. I have a lot to do to get ready for Leia's birthday bbq this weekend. I havn't been doing too much the last week with not feeling good and being so stressed out. I really need to get working on that today and make it a special birthday for her. Canada Day is coming up in a few days and Master and I are discussing possible canada day celebrations we might go to also. I hope I can maybe try to cross one or two things off my bucket list too. I just hope that I get a clearer result with my next test which I plan to take this weekend sometime. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Happy HNT - Ace of Spades and contest

Hello and happy HNT everyone. I hope you like this week's HNT image. It's pretty self-explanatory. A sexy naked woman in an erotic pose in front of a large Ace of Spades playing card. I hope you like the image. I think it turned out better than when I envisioned the idea. This image, by the way, is available for sale in our store on posters, t-shirts, and more. We're pleased to announce our first contest on Darkside Digital Arts and Journey to the Darkside. The winner will be receiving a t-shirt of their choice from our online store. There are two ways you can get your name in the draw. 1) Submit five or more original ideas for t-shirts you'd love to see. Be descriptive as you can. What phrase, what picture would go with it, what colors. Submit drawings if you want. These can't be shirts that already exist on CafePress or other t-shirt sites. We're going for original here. If you have a cool, funny phrase that you've heard or say all the time that would look great on a t-shirt, submit it today. Just keep in mind you're giving for free your idea to Darkside Digital Arts in order to enter the contest. 2) Submit a photo of yourself wearing a product from Darkside Digital Arts, like a t-shirt you've already bought from us. We want to add photos of more people wearing our cool designs and we'll be adding your submitted photos to our gallery of customers. Thanks, we look forward to your submissions of photos and ideas. You're a darn creative bunch, so we're really looking forward to what you can come up with! Submissions can be emailed to darksidedigitalarts@gmail.com or to either myself anakins.blog@gmail.com or padme shyanne.blog@gmail.com. We'll let you know via email if you're our winner on September 1, 2008. The more times you submit 5 ideas or a picture, the more entries you'll have in our draw. Thank you and good luck! My padme is able to cross another thing off her bucket list with having a contest on Journey to the Darkside. #343 -Have a contest on Journey to the Darkside Again, Happy HNT. Enjoy the picture and May the Force be with you. ~Anakin

Master Anakin and padme's night out at the swingers party

I had planned to take a few days break from blogging but I also wanted to get this post up from our Saturday night at the swingers party we went to. The details are still pretty fresh in my mind and I know this weekend could be a bit crazy for writing. I've got Leia's 13th birthday party this weekend and we are hosting a family party for that. I've got the kids out of school on Thursday too for the summer and they will be home. I have had to give up blogging over at the Fellatrices unfortunately. It's hard enough to keep up with this blog most of the time. It's been hard also writing only about blowjobs. I kind of feel like I've said all I wanted to say on that topic. I've enjoyed contributing to that blog but I am going to be devoting my time to Journey to the Darkside this summer and trying to make plans for my kids too so I can keep them busy and not fighting constantly. It's going to be a long summer! We have no plans yet for a family vacation. It's kind of hard to plan for anything when our lives are up in the air with the possible pregnancy looming over our heads. I really appreciate all the e-mails and comments on my last post. It has really helped me to not feel alone and with my struggles with what Master and I are going through. I suspect that I am pregnant. I've had some symptoms that are too hard to explain away. I've been pregnant enough times to know when there are some changes going on in my body. Maybe it's just a flu but I am also trying to be realistic that I could be facing a possible pregnancy. I was on day 14 and I was ovulating on the night of Goodhandy's and when that condom was inside of me for almost 48 hours. I'm very fertile and had accidental pregnancies before due to one night of passion in the middle of my cycle. I wish I could take a pregnancy test but my period isn't due til July 1st and I have taken an early pregnancy test before with Leia's pregnancy which was false negative. I will have to wait until this weekend and I'm trying to mentally prepare myself if I am. Big things tend to happen around this time of the year for me. On Saturday it will be the anniversary of Skywalker's conception. 8 years ago we conceived our little boy. I gave birth almost 13 years ago to Leia. I went on a trip which changed my life also back in 2000 around this time of the year. I wanted to post about Saturday and a really wonderful night that we had at the swingers party we went to and overnight. Here are the details from that night... Our overnight and night out at the swingers party Master came home to a whole 24 hours with no kids. We wanted to get ready for a special dinner that I was making for him before our night out at the swingers party. We headed over to Safeway to get some groceries. I had to stop at Starbucks for a latte to hopefully give me some energy. A couple there saw my tattoo's on my ankle and were talking to me about theirs. They had their tat's done at the same place I had those ones done. I mentioned that I had a lower back "tramp stamp" done too and they wanted to see. I realized that I had pulled down my pants and panties a bit too low to show it off. lol! Master gave me a really hard time all the way home about how naughty I can get, even at the local Starbucks. They got to see a bit of ass as well as the tattoo. We got home and relaxed for a while and watched a movie on tv. Then Master mentioned he wanted to play with me and ordered me upstairs for some naughty fun. He mentioned to me to get changed into something comfortable and he also wanted to see my new thong that I bought while out in Toronto. It's a plaid cute sexy thong and I hadn't worn it yet for him. He said he'd meet me upstairs in ten minutes and to take out some toys also to play with. I got changed into my "whatever" nightie that he likes and the new thong and got out the Anakin's paddle, Hitatchi, Rabbit vibe, clothespins and a few other goodies. He came up with the camera and took off his belt and laid it on the bed and then ordered me down for some attention on my ass. I was craving a spanking and attention so I quickly obeyed. He didn't bother taking down my thong as it didn't exactly protect my bottom too much and he seemed to really like it on me. He commented how sexy it made my ass look as he gave me a few hard strokes with his belt. Then he picked up the Anakin's paddle. I havn't been paddled in a long time so it took a bit of time to adjust to. "Owwwwwiiieeeeee, Master. Please not so hard. OWIE!!!" I tried to say to get him to slow down with the paddling. Of course Darth Vader never listens to my begging. It seemed to encourage him to paddle my ass harder. He had my ass dancing around and me trying to stay still which was very difficult. I put up a picture today of how red my bottom got and sore. You can also get a good look at my tramp stamp lower back tattoo and how it's healing. It's looking great! I was allowed a big orgasm after the attention on my ass. Clothspins on my nipples and the rabbit vibe in my pussy and Hitatchi on my clit combined to a HUGE orgasm with me screaming out!! Fuck that felt SOOO good!! It had been a while since I was given an orgasm from him and I was in heaven after that. Sore red bottom and a nice endorphin subspace from the orgasm and pain...mmmm. We came downstairs and I started to get ready for our special dinner. I was going to have a candelight dinner at our table and put on the lace tablecloth and started on the homemade pasta dinner. Rotini pasta and special pasta sauce with the sauce from Peller Estates. I made homemade garlic bread which Master helped to make the garlic butter for. I had some veggies too. We opened our Jackson Triggs Riesling which I got on my trip too on my wine tour. YUM!! The wine and dinner was amazing and a really special treat. We hardly ever get a special dinner without our kids around like that and it was much better than going out somewhere. We put on some Jazz music in the background and enjoyed ourselves. Then it was time to get ready for the swingers party. I got the bath ready with the Sex Bomb from Lush that I also got on my Toronto trip. Master gave me a quick OTK to redden my ass a bit more before heading into the bath with candles and Gregorian chants playing on the CD player. I enjoyed a bit more Riesling and enjoyed the bath. Then Master jumped in and I enjoyed being naked for a while and waited for him to get out. I asked him for a massage and he used the "sweet almond" massage oil on me for that. I returned the favor and we got ready for our night out. I wore my new PVC sexy skirt from Toronto with black fishnet stockings and black high heels. I wanted to wear my white top that I wore to Goodhandy's but I really wasn't sure if it was ok for a public venue. I decided on my fancy top that I bought the last time I went to the swingers party. It went well with the skirt and outfit. Master put on a nice black shirt and dress pants and smelled awesome with the Axe cologne. Our one neighbor saw us leaving and made a comment about how I looked. LOL! She is not used to seeing me that dressed up like that. I had some giggles over that. We headed to the swingers party and got a table for us to sit at and I got a Sex on the beach martini to start with. That Dom was there from that last party and I introduced him to Master. Master was very curious about him and was glad to finally get the chance to meet him. I showed a few people like that Dom and his wife my new tattoo. Everyone was curious and commented how nice it looks. I saw a few people from the last party like that submissive guy who talked to me last time. We gave each other a big hug and talked for a bit. I pointed out a few people also to Master from the last party. I saw a few new faces too. We enjoyed our drinks and enjoyed the people watching. I even did a bit of dancing on my own. talia and her husband showed up at around 10 pm. They had plans before the party so they unfortunately were a bit late. They sat with us and got some drinks themselves. Master and I danced to "the lady in red" which brought back some wonderful memories from the past for us. I havn't slow danced since our wedding and it was so incredible to dance with him again. It was on my bucket list too so something else to cross off! talia also came up to dance when the music got a bit faster. Master went over to talk to talia's husband. He was glad to have someone there to talk to while I danced. He's not as into the fast dancing as I am. I was dancing alone at one point when an older man came up and asked to dance with me. He seemed pretty attractive and I was glad to have someone to dance with. We started talking. He asked me about my husband I pointed out Master to him. He asked if I had an open marriage and I told him that we do. We started dancing and he then asked me to guess his age. I guessed 50. He said he was 60 and asked me if that bothered me at all. It didn't because Master R is around the same age as him. I also tend to like older men. Drew (that guy from Goodhandy's) was older too. I turned around and rubbed his cock through his pants with my ass at one point and he commented that I better stop or he was going to explode right there on the dance floor! LOL! I love dirty dancing. It was obvious that he had a pretty big hard on going on. I rubbed up against him a few times while dancing with him and could feel it through the clothes. He was very blunt with me and I was a bit surprised at first. He said that his wife and him are new to swinging and he was trying to find another woman to go down on his wife for the first time. He asked me if I am bisexual which I said "yes". He asked if I was experienced with stuff like that which I also told him "yes" and mentioned that I have been with a few women sexually. I wanted to see his wife at that point though before agreeing to anything. He pointed over to her and she immediately got my interest. She is a bit older than me but very attractive and ethnic looking. She reminded me a lot of schiava. (my ex girlfriend from Italy years ago) I was very interested at that point and I mentioned that to him. She was wearing a very attractive dress and she looked over at us and smiled at me a few times. I went back to talk to Master at one point and pointed them out to him and told him what the guy had mentioned to me. He was also interested also to meet them. We looked over and saw them coming over towards us. They introduced themselves to Master and I and we talked for a bit. They mentioned that they were staying in a hotel nearby. I got the hint a few times that they might want us to go back to the hotel with them. Master and I both wanted to get to know them a bit more before anything like that happens. We agreed to exchange e-mail address's with them and then I went to the bar to get another drink. That guy approached me and started to ask me questions about Master and I. He was curious how long we were in an open marriage and what we were both looking for. He also wanted to know what I thought of his wife. I made it very clear that I am very interested in his wife. He mentioned that his wife has never been with a woman before though and was still a bit shy and nervous but wanting to explore that side to herself. I told him I havn't sexually been with a woman in almost 2 years but would really enjoy having another woman to play with. We both seemed to be on the same page. I did make it clear though that we need to know each other a bit better before playing. I hoped he would e-mail us and we can go from there. I went back to the table when a woman came up and mentioned that there was a guy with a birthday and would I like to go over and give him a birthday kiss. I went right over to him and kissed him THREE times! LOL! Yup ...little miss dangerous had taken over at this point. I had a few drinks in me and was turned on by all the talk of eating pussy and that. I decided to give that guy an extra special birthday surprise!! I was inspired from the girls on the dance floor showing off some tits and dirty dancing. I decided to flash my tits at him. "Happy birthday" I said and I lifted up my shirt and bra and showed him my tits. "WOO HOO" the other women were all saying and then all of a sudden a bunch of women were doing it too!! LOL! I had inspired the other women to get naughty and flash their tits. That birthday boy had a BIG smile and seemed like a very happy boy with all the women flashing their tits. I went over to the table and decided to remove my bra and gave it to Master. I had lost my panties at Goodhandy's and didn't want to lose my bra too that night. At one point when we got home Master wasn't sure what he had done with it but realized it was in my purse. LOL! I flashed my tits at everyone. I'm sure talia and her husband saw and that couple who were interested in us too saw. They were waving at us and smiling! I grabbed Master and we danced on the dance floor with that other couple beside us. We all were smiling at each other and enjoying the dancing. Master left at one point and I started to dance with the couple. Then another woman who had seen me flashing my tits came over and wanted to dance with me also. It seemed like things were just starting to get interesting when the lights came on and it was over! The only thing that bothers me about the venue that it's held at is the fact that it ends so early. The lights were on at 12:15 am this time. It seems like the night gets going finally and then it's over. I wanted to socialize a bit more and so did Master. We sat with talia and her husband for a bit talking but that Dom told us it was time to close up. Master and I were both so horny and feeling naughty. There was some talk about going to a local park to fuck or me give him a blowjob. We both wanted to go home though so Master could enjoy a few drinks. He was the designated driver and unable to drink all evening. We barely made it through the door without clothes flying off though. Master forgot about the drink and we were practically running upstairs naked to fuck on the bed. He was SO hard after all the naughty fun all evening and he wanted me and we had some AMAZING sex and I came again. Then he sent me to get him a beer and I came back and watched a bit of porn together before he made me cum again with the Hitatchi! We both talked about the couple quite a bit and I started to wonder if they would e-mail us. It was quite late at that point and we both crashed after doing some talking. Then we woke up to a bit more naughty fun before the overnight was finished. It was a really great night and we both enjoyed the swingers party a lot. We both want to go to another one sometime. That couple DID e-mail us yesterday and are very interested in Master and I both and hooking up. We didn't tell them what is happening (the possible pregnancy) but we did assure them that we do hope that we can all hook up sometime soon. Hopefully that can work out to meet them again one day. My experience at the swingers party was much different than the last one when I went alone. It was so much fun to have Master there and it added a lot being able to dance with him and experience that with him. I also realize that with swinging you often have to get to know people a bit and go a few times to hook up with them. It's not like Goodhandy's where you hook up minutes or an hour after you've met them and go off and play with them. Swinging is a bit different that way. Perhaps Master and I are on the way to being swingers. I never really saw us like that but after this weekend...who knows! Please vote in our latest poll on the side bar. We asked you if you have ever been to a swingers party or club before. If not, would you like to go to one? Please vote! I got to cross 3 things off my bucket list on Saturday: #344-Flash my tits somewhere new that I havn't before #452 -Go to an event (swingers party or bdsm event) with Master together #453 -Slow dance with Master again (have not done that since our wedding) May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

A brief break on the Journey

I had planned to write my Fellatrices blog post today and then tommorow about my swingers party on the weekend. I havn't been feeling very well though and have a lot going on which has caused me to have a hard time concentrating on writing. I really opened myself up in the last blog post and was open and honest about what happened with the whole condom situation on my Toronto trip. That was one of the hardest things that I have had to write about on Journey to the Darkside. I wasn't sure if I would get a bunch of negative comments or an abortion debate because if I am pregnant, I will be keeping the baby. I went back and forth all week and even while writing it whether or not to say anything about it. I wanted to reach out for support though as not many people knew my secret this last week and the personal hell that I have been going through. I was shocked when I noticed this morning that the only person to comment on the post was Master showing me his support. Even Master was surprised. Where are my friends? Where are the others who have had this type of situation before? Where is everyone? I normally have not been bothered by other posts if no one comments but this one really upset me. Does this mean that if I am pregnant that no one will be there to be supportive or my readers wouldn't show support? This has been awful to deal with the last week. It will change everything if I am pregnant. It could possibly even affect my health. My Doctor advised me not to get pregnant again due to health issues I had in my last pregnancy and my risk of miscarriages. I have lost more babies through miscarriage than normal pregnancies with Skywalker and Leia. Master Anakin had a vasectomy because he didn't want me to go through anymore miscarriages due to the severe depression and health problems I had due to them. This will also open up a can of worms too if I am pregnant with what to tell people. He's had a vasectomy. My sister already knows about my one night stand. People are going to know that it's not Master's baby. Most of our families do not know we have an open marriage. I am not too sure how to even explain this to people if I am pregnant. I have been having some symptoms and have started to panic and stress. My boobs feel sore and I'm so extremely tired and fatiqued. I also have had a real appetite too lately which is something I had in all my pregnancies. Master Anakin noticed my uterus area felt "harder" than normal too which is always a sign for me too. I have never been so scared in my whole life. I didn't think we'd have anymore children and especially from some married man at a sex club for a one night stand. I know that I made my choice but I'm paying for it right now. It was fun for the time it lasted but waiting around to find out if I am pregnant and then going to the Doctor for STD tests is NOT fun!! I have gotten pregnant before because of a drunken night of passion. I'm very fertile. I know it just takes once and I know I was ovulating and mid cycle when I slept with Drew. (the guy from Goodhandy's) I just wish I could go back through time and make a different choice. I feel like I've screwed up my life and Master's and our children's even by that choice that I made. I feel so extremely alone too with what I am going through with this. I will be taking a few days break from blogging. I will hopefully get some answers this week. I can't stand this waiting and trying to be calm about it. I had someone tell me to "not think about it". How on earth do I do that? That's a bit hard to not think about something which has the potential to change everything. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Part 4 - Wild weekend with Shasta

I really wanted to get my final blog post up to complete my series of posts about my Toronto trip last weekend. I'm a bit hungover this morning from a very wild and fun night out at the swingers party last night with Master Anakin. I had a fabulous time and have many stories to share from our adventures yesterday. We even have a few photos from our naughty fun before we left for the party. I am hoping we hear from another couple that we are interested in getting to know more too. We exchanged e-mails with one another so hopefully we will have the chance to meet and talk with them again soon. I will be blogging in the next few days about our wild times at the swinger party last night and how much fun we had! Stay tuned for that! If you have missed any of my blog posts about the Toronto trip: Part 1 - Arriving in Toronto Part 2 - Getting the lower back (tramp stamp) tattoo and a Friday fun night with Shasta Part 3 - A fun day in Toronto with Shasta and a naughty night at Goodhandy's I will be combining Sunday and Monday into the post today to complete the series of posts about my trip. Enjoy! Part 4 - A fun Sunday with a wine tour and Niagara Falls and coming home to Vancouver Shasta and I both got up on the Sunday after a few hours of sleep and both of us feeling a bit hungover from our wild night at Goodhandy's. We both cleaned up and she got us some coffee and breakfast from the buffet downstairs which was complimentary. We packed up our stuff and headed out on the road towards Niagara on the Lake where the wine tour was going to be at. We stopped at a grocery store and I got a red bull to try to give me some energy. It took about an hour and a half to get to Niagara on the Lake and we parked and looked around. It was a beautiful day out and very scenic drive there. I was very impressed with Niagara on the Lake. It's a quaint little place with some really neat shops and restaurants and Shasta and I did a bit of shopping there and looking around before we hit Peller Estates. I picked up some sauce from there which looked yummy. I used it last night to make a homemade pasta dinner and Master and I both really enjoyed it. I picked up a small bottle of Ice Wine and Shasta got a few bottles too while we were there. We headed over to the place where we were meeting our guide for the tour from Crush Tours. Shasta and I both had never been on a wine tour before so this was a very wonderful experience for us both and we both are able to cross it off our bucket lists. We were the only ones on the tour with it being the Father's day Sunday and that was nice to have the tour guide to ourselves. He showed us around the town a bit more and told us about the history of it. Then we headed over to Jackson Triggs for our first winery on the tour. I was beyond thrilled to get the chance to see Jackson Triggs!! I've been enjoying their wine for years and it was fabulous to actually get to see the whole wine making process and see the winery. It's a beautiful place and I really enjoyed the wine tasting there too. I picked up a bottle of Delaine Vineyard 2005 Riesling which is a limited edition and you can only get through Jackson Triggs. Shasta got the same as me. I was able to enjoy the wine with Master last night and it was incredible and delicious! We both really enjoyed it! We went to Strewn winery next and that was really neat. Then we headed to Cattail Estate Winery which was my favorite on the tour. I picked up a bottle of merlot from there which Master has put away for a special occassion. Shasta and I enjoyed some cheese and crackers while we did some wine testing there. I admit I was starting to feel pretty tipsy at that point. I had 5 different samples and they were pretty big ones. I was glad for the food to try to help sober me up a bit. lol! Our last stop was Caroline Cellers which was another small winery. I didn't get anything from there but Shasta picked up some peach wine from there. I enjoyed the sample of it. We ended the tour and thanked our guide as he was awesome and we both really enjoyed the tour a lot! I recommend Crush tours to anyone thinking of going on a wine tour and is in the Niagara area. I'd like to thank Shasta for treating me to the wine tour. It was a really fabulous experience and I'm so glad that I got to share that with her! We headed over to Niagara Falls next. I've always wanted to go there so I was so excited as we pulled up to the very touristy place. Tons of neat shops and places. I could have spent a few days there with all the tourist stuff to do. We got parking which was pretty expensive but we were both glad to get a spot close to the falls. I've never seen more cameras in my whole life! LOL! Lots and lots of people and Niagara Falls is the most amazing sight!! I was speechless when I saw the beauty of it. There is a lot of mist coming up from the falls.We took lots of pictures there and I put up two today of it. There was a beautiful rainbow going over the falls which was amazing! It was pretty crazy there but we got to see the falls from different places around the walk. I picked up a few souviners for the kids and we got some Tim Hortons for dinner and went outside to enjoy it. There was a seagall which was pretty aggressive and Shasta kept getting mad at him and threw a small rock at him to get him away from us. I crashed on the way home and napped before we headed back to her place for some yummy ice wine and a movie on TV and some relaxing. I was feeling a bit off on Sunday night. I was starting to miss Master a lot at this point and also worried because he hadn't messaged me and I couldn't get a hold of him on the phone. I held it together until bedtime. I was waiting for Shasta to tuck me into bed but I that didn't happen and I was sitting in the bed and really feeling alone. I havn't been apart from him so long and it was really affecting me. I came downstairs very late and phoned him and started crying and got very upset. He got very dominant on the phone with me and assured me that Master was still there for me even if we were miles apart. I wrote that "letter to Master" post to let him know how I was feeling. I went to bed after having a long cry. I woke up still feeling very off and emotional. I knew it was time to head home that night and I didn't want to leave because I was enjoying the time with Shasta but I also missed Master and home. Something happened that day which was unexpected and left me feeling very stressed out and anxious. I was in the shower when I noticed something between my legs. I reached down and was horrified to notice the condom (from my one night stand at Goodhandy's) coming out of my pussy! I was shocked and horrified and didn't know how to handle that. I've had lots of experience with condoms through the years but I've never had one come off or break or anything like that. I was horrified to realize that the condom was deep inside of me for almost 48 hours!! I wasn't sure what to do. I came downstairs and called over to Shasta. She must have sensed my panic because she came over right away and she was also shocked when I showed her the condom. It was an awful feeling to realize it was inside of me and that I was mid cycle and ovulating and that condom with his cum was inside of me for that long. I had no idea what to do! The phone call to tell Master was the hardest I've ever had to make. I could tell he was stressed out and anxious about it too. I came home to many discussions about the possibilities that I could be pregnant because of that. I do not believe in abortion and I wouldn't be able to do adoption so that means if I am pregnant, we will be keeping the baby. I also need to get to the Doc too and have some tests run. I am pretty shocked that Drew (the guy from Goodhandy's) came and withdrew his cock but didn't notice the missing condom. Why didn't he tell me it was missing? Didn't he notice that it didn't come out when he took his cock out of my pussy? I'm left with a few questions about it all and worries now too from it all. It has been a pretty stressful week and I'm still not sure what will happen from it all. She drove her kids out to Jack and we headed out to Pearson Airport together. We had dinner at Swiss Chalet (my favorite chicken) and I enjoyed some merlot and tried to relax after a stressful day because of what happened. Shasta was very supportive and talked to me a lot that day about it all. We went outside for a smoke and I really wanted to kiss her goodbye. She must have sensed that because she reached over towards me and our lips connected for a long, lingering kiss goodbye. It was bittersweet. I didn't want to leave but I knew I had to catch my flight. She walked me over to security and we gave each other a very big hug. She walked away and I started to walk towards security and then I looked back and saw her looking at me and waving goodbye. I felt a lot of emotions in that moment not knowing when I might see her again. I got on the plane and my emotions started to overwhelm me. I had tears running down my face as I looked over towards downtown Toronto and saw the most incredible sunset and I was saying goodbye to my trip and the plane left Toronto heading home. Months and weeks of planning and waiting and counting down and it was all of a sudden all over and time to head back home to Master and our children and reality. They greeted me at the Vancouver airport and Master had a bouquet of pink roses (my wedding flowers) and Tim Hortons for me. There was a problem with the luggage though so we had to wait for it to come on another flight. I got a credit for $100 from Westjet because of the trouble. We came home and my trip was over and I have spent most of last week crashing from it. I miss Shasta a lot. We can always chat or talk on the phone but it's not the same as being able to have coffee in person or hang out together. I really hope we'll be able to hang out again someday. She's talked about coming out to Vancouver and I'd love to show her the sights and she can meet my family. I will always treasure the memories from my Toronto trip. It was one of the best trips I've ever been on and will never forget all the amazing and fun times from my trip! I hope I'll be able to come back to Toronto one day...perhaps with Master Anakin this time. I'd love to show him some of the sights that I saw like Niagara Falls and a wine tour or Goodhandy's. :) I was able to cross a few more things off my bucket list on Sun/Mon. #17 -Get ice wine and enjoy it on a special occassion #6 -See Niagara Falls #246 -Go on a wine tour #380 -Try a new type of merlot from a different place that I havn't before #345 -Learn how to use the new digital camera that we just bought May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Master Anakin and padme are going to a swingers party tomorrow!

I have done TWO blog posts today that I have had to delete due to changing our plans a few times. We finally decided that we WILL be attending a swingers party tomorrow night. We weren't sure whether or not we would be going. We had planned to spend the night playing but we figure there is lots of time before the party and afterward to do lots of playing. Master Anakin has offered the chance to have unlimited orgasms for 24 hours so I plan to take him up on that. I'm sure I can squeeze in a few before we leave together for the swingers party. I went to one a few weeks ago and was quite lonely without Master Anakin. This time I won't be lonely because he will be right there beside me and we plan to go together. We have a full 24 hours with no kids and we want to relax and unwind and enjoy the night. I really enjoy dancing and I'm hoping to find someone or perhaps a few different people to dirty dance with. That was one of the best parts of last time was the dirty dancing with a few females that I experienced. Master Anakin isn't as into the dancing as me but he's promised a few dances to some slow songs. :) Master Anakin isn't as social as I am so it's been hard to go to different events alone. I am SO excited that he wants to go with me and this is his first experience going to a swingers party and with us going out to any type of public event together. It took me 12 years to talk him into going to an event. We've been talking about hopefully more future events that we can go to together too after this one. I am hoping to cross a few things off my bucket list tonight too! I really should try that Sex on the beach shooter. I have been wanting to try one so I can cross that off my list. The party will be a good opportunity to do that. :) I'm pretty excited about tomorrow and the chance to get out and have some fun. It feels like I've been doing a lot lately without Master Anakin. I'm very excited that we get to go together this time. I hope that he will get to meet that Dom that I was chatting to on MSN today too. I met him at the last party and we hit it off and I'd like to see him again. We also plan to meet my friend, talia and her husband there and it will be nice to have another couple to hang out with at the party. I plan to wear my new PVC sexy skirt that I bought on my Toronto trip. It's a great chance to show off my tattoo and I know there were several women dressed up very sexy last time. I can't wait to dress up and have a fun night out with Master! We deserve a night out without any worries and I am sure that this will be a great time! :) It's been a really long and rough week coming down from my Toronto trip and the crash from that. I've also had something else major going on which I plan to blog about in my final blog post on Sunday with part 4 from my trip. I will be combining last Sunday and Monday together for a final blog post giving out the details of the last part of my trip. There was something unexpected that happened and I plan to blog about that too in the post. I won't be online very much tomorrow with our overnight and the swingers party going on tomorrow night. I hope everyone has a great weekend! If you have missed any of my Toronto posts: Part 1 - Arriving in Toronto Part 2 - Getting the lower back (tramp stamp) tattoo and a Friday fun night with Shasta Part 3 - A fun day in Toronto with Shasta and a naughty night at Goodhandy's May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Part 3 - Wild weekend with Shasta

I have been writing about my Toronto trip the last few days. There was so much that happened that I have had to write it all out in different parts. If you have missed any of them: Part 1 - Arriving in Toronto Part 2 - Getting the lower back (tramp stamp) tattoo and a Friday fun night with Shasta I will be writing part 3 today which is about our day in Toronto and our naughty Goodhandy's night. There is still more to come too so be sure to check back often for more posts on the trip! You can also check out Shasta's blog for her different posts about the trip including one all about our Saturday adventures and she also is sharing pictures on her blog that are different than mine. She was able to cross off different things off her bucket list too and you can read all about her experiences of our time in Toronto. Be sure to check it out! Part 3 - A fun day in Toronto with Shasta and a naughty night at Goodhandy's I got up nice and early after a very solid sleep. I showered and we got on the road by 9 am after packing up the toys and suitcase. We made a stop by Tim Hortons to pick up our breakfast and some double doubles. We both need our coffee fix so we were both glad to have that before heading into the big city for a day of shopping and fun! I've never been to Toronto before so I have to say that I was just AMAZED when we started going towards the city part. I could see the CN tower and there were tons and tons of interesting shops. I've never seen more Starbucks in my whole life. It seemed like there was one on every corner. We went first to Eaton's Center and got parked and started to shop. It's really big in there with lots of windows and different shops. We went by Indigo's and headed straight to the sex section. One book looked very interesting and I decided to buy it. It's called Female Submission: The Journals of Madelaine by Claudia Varrin. I plan to review the book as soon as I get a chance to read it. We found Lush and I got a Sex bomb for the bath and Shasta picked up a few goodies. I tried out a new spray there too which I liked and plan to buy sometime. We both got some chocolate goodies at Godiva. Unfortunately mine melted on the way home in my suitcase. It's not a good idea to travel with chocolate. It made quite a mess. We decided to head over to NorthBound Leather which was out on the street and was able to get parking in an underground parking lot. NorthBound leather is INCREDIBLE!! I was drooling over all the leather and cages and bdsm equipment and toys. I could have seriously spent a very huge amount of money in that shop. I've never been to a store like that one. The smell of leather was enough just to get my pussy wet. Yum!! It took almost everything in me to walk out of that store without buying something. We went to another store near NorthBound which Shasta had found a sexy PVC skirt and I did look and tried on a few things but didn't find anything to buy there. Then we went to another sex store which was nearby which had a ton of costumes which had me drooling and I almost bought. I've never seen so many schoolgirl outfits in my whole life!! Master Anakin would really love it there. *winks* I picked up a schoolgirl plaid thong just to wear for him. I also got some fishnet thigh-hi stockings with bows on them for our Goodhandy's night. I also got some Kama Sutra Massage Oil "Sweet Almond". I came close to buying a few more things there but decided to wait because we planned to hit Queen street and some other stores there. We started to drive down Queen Street when I spotted Much Music!! WOO HOO!! I LOVE Much Music and was SO excited to see it. They were setting up for the MMVA's there and there was a ton of excitement happening around Much Music. We got parked further down Queen Street and headed over to Banu which is a very trendy and unique place to eat. We ate near the front at a very neat blue table. We both ordered vodka shots 2 oz each, on the rocks. I had the Stolichnaya Elit (Russian) and she had Zubrowka Bison Grass vodka (Polish). We munched on some seasoned pistachois while we sipped on our vodka and enjoyed the atmosphere in the restaurant. I ordered some of the best chicken wings that I have ever had before. They were grilled chicken wings in a saffron citrus marinade and boy were they YUMMY!! Shasta ate a braised cow tongue in a tomato saffron sauce for her lunch and she shared a small piece with me which surprised me as it was actually very tender and good. Then she had Urban Oysters’, "lamb testicles marinated in vodka" which she also shared with me. I was not as fond of that as I was with the cow tongue. She has pictures on her blog of what these dishes looked like so be sure to check that out! We headed onto Queen Street afterwards for some shopping. I found the cutest pair of earrings at a street vendor there which matched my "beach girl" t-shirt that I was wearing. We headed across the street over to MissBehav'N which has real live girls in the windows dancing around all dressed up looking cute. I put up a picture today of that store and the skirt that I bought. I found a very cute sexy short PVC skirt which fit me perfectly. I knew that I wanted to wear that to Goodhandy's and was very excited about my purchase. I had brought a cute white top which I knew would go well with the skirt and that would also show off my new tattoo for the Goodhandy's night. I loved that store and also could have bought so much more but tried to control myself. lol. We also went to Come as you Are which was another store that had a ton of books and toys also. Then we got a pasty from Dufflet Pastry and I got a cold drink as I was very thirsty from all the shopping we were doing. I got a coconut cream type of tart from there which I had at the hotel and was delicious! Yum! Then it was time to head to our hotel and check in. We were happy we got checked in early enough to have a shower and get ready for going out. The view was really amazing from there of downtown Toronto. We updated our twitters and then headed to the showers after some coffee. I have to admit that I seriously considered asking Shasta to join me in the shower but she was busy on the computer and the shower there wasn't too big either for both of us. We both dug into the vodka and gin that we had brought with us to have a few drinks before heading to Goodhandy's. Of course vodka goes straight to my pussy and I was getting very wet and excited about the evening. We both got dressed up all sexy and did our make up. She was wearing a short, very see-through, bright pink and black tutu, and a black tank top. She looked so amazing and sexy!! I got the black skirt on which I had bought earlier and my black fishnet stockings and white top which didn't cover much. I also had on a pair of goth type of boots that Shasta had lent for me the evening. We were both ready to get naughty and have a big night out at Goodhandy's. She had brought a black erotic mask and I put it on and she took some pictures of me which I put up one today of me wearing it. I felt like "little miss dangerous"!! We both looked so sexy and naughty! And we were both pretty intoxicated when we left the hotel. She gathered up the toys and the crop didn't fit into her purse so it was sticking out. Her ass was hanging out of the see-through tutu and she was trying to go as fast as possible through the lobby which caused a few people to turn and look at us. I was giggling hysterically as that was quite a sight to see. I at least had a sweater on to cover me up a bit but Shasta was more out in the open with what she was wearing and the crop. We got to Goodhandy's and got another round of drinks and I got to meet Tood Klink. WOW!! *whew* What a hottie! I had seen him on Kink many times and I felt so flustered and excited to get the chance to actually meet him and show off my new tattoo to him. Then the dirty dancing started. I LOVE to dirty dance. I can get really into it and I was feeling like partying and dancing. Shasta got up and we started to put on a very naughty show. She sure knows how to dirty dance. *whew* We were rubbing up against each other and hands were going everywhere. She sat down at one point and I decided to put on a show just for her. I was going to give her a lap dance. She had a very big smile as I gave her a lap dance that was just for her. It was SOOOO deeply erotic to look up and see a bunch of guys watching us. The lightening is designed so I couldn't see faces but only outlines of different people. We went out for a few smoke breaks. I am a social smoker so I enjoyed a few smokes to help me relax. I met an interesting homeless man who was telling me his life story. I also got naughty with a black man outside and security wasn't too happy with my naughty behavior. I'm lucky the cops weren't around as I could have gotten into trouble. Of course if I had gotten caught by a sexy cop with a pair of handcuffs, I could have invited him inside to play. *winks* I went to the bar to get another drink and on my way back saw a very attractive older man near the DJ and stairs. I went right over and introduced myself to him and started to ask him if he was looking for a "naughty girl" at the club. We hit it off right away and I felt immediate chemistry with him. He was slim built and my type of man. He told me he was 40 years old and I tend to like the older men as they are more experienced. I found out later that he was married. That didn't really matter at the time though. I just wanted to find someone to play with. He seemed concerned about my "girlfriend" and her being jealous or interrupting things with us. He said he watched us making out and wasn't sure I was even into guys. He asked me at one time if I was only into woman and I told him I like cock too. I am bisexual and I enjoy cock just as much as pussy. I made sure to rub his cock lots through his shorts to let him know that I wanted his cock and gave him a few very sexual looks. He seemed a bit clueless at times but I think he was unsure of Shasta and I's friendship and he wanted to make sure she felt included also. I almost got the feeling at one point that he was hinting at a threesome happening between us. Shasta and I started to do some making out. She was on her period though which held her back from being able to really enjoy it. Then we started to kiss and boy can she kiss!!! I hadn't kissed a woman in almost two years so this was a really big deal that I got to kiss a woman's lips again. She has the softest and most luscious lips and I enjoyed kissing her. There was a bit of tongue action too with our kissing. mmmmm....thinking about that makes me SOOOOO wet right now. She had me VERY excited!! I really enjoyed getting naughty with her. Shasta is so very sexy and attractive and my kind of woman!! I'm still having flashbacks of being naughty with Shasta and how amazing that was! mmmm.... We started to dirty dance with the guy (I'm giving him the name Drew which is not his real name) and we had a F/F/M sandwich on the dance floor. We were the only ones dancing and I could see everyone in the club watching us all together. We were putting on quite a show for everyone! Hands were groping everywhere. His hands on her...my hands on him...her hands on me...hands on Shasta's tits...hands on my ass....hands all over all 3 of us. I've had sandwiches before on the dance floor but this was SOOOO erotic and sexy!!! Holy fuck!! It is a memory burned into my mind. We went out for a smoke break to cool off at one point and talk. I told her that I was really into Drew and wanting to get together with him. We both went inside and he was waiting for us. We headed over to the booths and Shasta found a nice comfortable one without the curtain but she could at least guard it. She got the name "Gatekeeper" that night as she was deciding who would enter the booth and who wouldn't. She literally had to keep all the horny guys away!! She had her crop up and she had to give a few warnings to a few guys who were trying to push past her and also jacking off near her. I've never been watched like that before so that was incredibly erotic. I was also glad to have Shasta there for the experience and guard over us so we could have our privacy. Clothes were coming off and my panties and I started to feel his cock which was rock hard. He told me he wanted to go down on me. I was very happy that I had shaved my pussy smooth for the trip. He remarked to me that it was the smoothest pussy he has ever eaten before. HOLY CRAP could he eat pussy!!! I have had oral with different people (men and women) but he was by far the best at giving oral!! I'm not kidding you when I say that he knew exactly what he was doing. He had a lot of experience because he was able to spread my legs and get his face right in there and also his finger into my pussy. I was SCREAMING loud "YES, YES, YES" as he gave me oral sex and ate my pussy. I SCREAMED as loud as possible which seemed to draw even more guys over to watch what was going on. Cocks were coming out of pants and guys were jacking off to this sight of me getting my pussy eaten. I came SOOOO hard all over his face with my pussy juice. He had such a big smile when I told him that I had honestly never had a man give oral like that. He seemed very pleased. I was mid cycle and ovulating over the weekend and the vodka had gone to my pussy and I *really* wanted to fuck. He was so good at oral that I imagined he was good with being able to fuck too. I asked Shasta where the condoms were. I had permission from Master Anakin with my rules on the Toronto trip so I figured it would be ok to have a one night stand and enjoy myself in the heat of the moment. I rubbed his cock and got him all hard and ready and then watched him put the condom on. We started to fuck and then he turned me over to fuck me doggy style which is my favorite position. He had me screaming out more and it was so much pleasure to be fucked so hard like that. To know others were watching. To know Shasta and her friend were also watching us too. I saw them talking and looking over at us. We were groaning and fucking and it was quite a sight. I felt him cum hard up my pussy and then we kissed for a while (he was a good kisser too) and I told him how good he was at fucking. He wanted to play more and said he would meet me downstairs. We didn't play again but I did see him watching my spanking later on. We had a brief awkward moment too when I was leaving Goodhandy's. I saw Shasta and her cross dresser friend were heading downstairs and I went to the bathroom and then joined them. Shasta had her friend over the spanking bench she had brought out to use. I went over to see if I could help out and also hopefully get some spanking play too! I got to help her friend get through her spanking and stroked her hair and talked to her to make sure she was ok with the cropping and spanking. Shasta seemed to be enjoying giving the spanking. I also helped to spank her friend too giving some erotic and fun spanks on her bottom. There was one point that I was side by side getting a spanking at the same time as her friend too. We were both sharing in the pain and held each other's hand while getting spanked from Shasta with her crop. Her friend eventually got off and another oriental man quickly jumped onto the bench. I'm a greedy little pain slut and was a bit annoyed that I had to wait for my spanking. I had been waiting all weekend for my spanking from Shasta and now I had to wait more!! She told me that I just had to wait so I tried to be patient. lol. I finally got my turn and quickly got onto the spanking bench. I lifted up my skirt and wasn't wearing any panties. She sure doesn't give a big warm up!! WOW! She immediately started to lay into my ass with her mean crop!! I wasn't complaining and was wiggling my ass around enjoying the cropping from Shasta. mmmm...a very yummy and memorable spanking indeed!! She needed a smoke break and left me alone with her cross dresser friend. She asked me if I wanted more spanking. Of course I did!! This was a new type of experience for me. I've never been spanked by a stranger before or even a cross dresser. I went over the spanking bench and she used the crop and also her hand. She was very careful to stop during parts to ask if I was ok and told me that she was a submissive so it was hard to give me pain and she was worried about hurting me. I kept reassuring her it was ok to give me more and harder. My ass was on fire afterwards from the cropping from Shasta and then her friend. It was very erotic to get spanked by a complete stranger like that. :) We had wore ourselves out and it was getting late so we decided to head back to our hotel. I had a bit of a problem though. LOL!! I couldn't find my panties anywhere!! They are brand new black lace ones and I wanted to keep them and not leave them behind. The lighting was bad so it was hard to have to feel around the floor to find them. "Where are my panties??" I was asking Shasta and her friend. I finally found them and we headed back. My feet were throbbing from the boots and soooo sore that I didn't think I'd make it back to our room. I had another drink and we both were starving so she found a pizza place that was open very late and ordered it. I literally passed out before the pizza arrived and she did too. I heard knocking at the door and had to stir Shasta to get it. We both didn't eat any until the next day. We both didn't get very much sleep when we woke up the next day for our wine tour and Niagara Falls. I will be posting next about our Sunday adventures. Be sure to come back and read all about it! These were the ones I was able to cross off my bucket list on Saturday with everything that I saw and did: #7 -See Much Music in Toronto and go shopping on Queen Street #12 -Get spanked by a woman #15 -Go to a sex club #120 -Kiss a woman again #262 -Get a spanking from a stranger that I don't know #266 -Make out with a woman again #67 -Dirty dance with a couple again (have a sandwich) #290 -Take a pastry back to Shasta's from Dufflet in Toronto #317 -Go to a new adult store that I havn't before #292 -Get spanked over a spanking bench #289 -Do vodka shots at Banu in Toronto with Shasta Gibson #354 -Receive a spanking at the same time as another female is getting spanked #335 -Kiss a new man that I havn't kissed before #336 -Be dominated by a woman #340 -Dress up in Fetish wear for the night #410 -Be made to eat something that I really don't want to eat #343 -Give a fun and erotic spanking to another woman again #191 -Play in public for the first time #346 -Go shopping for hours with a good friend #390 -Wear an erotic mask #451 -Give someone a lap dance May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Part 2 - Wild weekend with Shasta

I am writing this week different parts from my Toronto trip over the weekend to see my best friend, Shasta Gibson. She is doing a series of posts also about the trip so be sure to check hers out too! I wrote about part 1 yesterday and my arrival to Toronto and my first night there. Today I will be posting about Friday night and the experience of getting my lower back (tramp stamp) tattoo done and fondue/margarita night and some toy testing. Tommorow I plan to write about our Saturday adventures in Toronto and also our very naughty and fun Goodhandy's night!! Be sure to stay tuned this next week for all the different posts about all the fun and amazing experiences. I've been checking off the different things on my bucket list as they happen each day with my posts. It's amazing how many things I got to check off each day! There is over 20 just on Saturday alone!! It feels great to be able to cross off so many in the time I was in Toronto. I noticed several that could have been crossed off too. I need to print off my list and bring it with me from now on so I can remember everything that is on there. lol! Part 2 - Getting the lower back (tramp stamp) tattoo and a Friday fun night with Shasta Shasta got ready for the fondue by cutting up the meats and veggies and I sat in her kitchen looking at the time and thinking a lot about the tattoo. She had just told me that I was getting it done at 5 pm and I had no idea of the design for it and I was feeling very nervous about it all. I've had my ankle tattoo'd but not my lower back and I had no idea how much different it might be. I didn't even know the size of the tattoo either. This had been arranged in advance and Master Anakin had wanted Shasta to pick out the design of the tattoo but his only request was that it be on my lower back. He liked the idea of me having a "tramp stamp" and that he could see the tattoo while spanking my ass and also anything else naughty. He thought it would be discreet enough but yet also could be naughty if I wore short shirts or was naked. I was very excited to have a tattoo that Shasta designed as our friendship is one of the most important things in my life. She is my closest and my very best friend and I think the world of her. Her and Master Anakin are the closest to my heart. I wanted to remember the trip and to think of her when I saw it on my body. I want to thank her for picking out a beautiful design and for arranging it all and being a part of it. Getting my tattoo was one of the best experiences of the trip and I'm still doing aftercare for it and keep looking at it in the mirror. It will always remind me of Shasta and I'm truly happy with how it looks on my lower back! The drive felt long out to Cambridge to Thrive Studios to get it done. I was soooo nervous!! My tummy was doing butterflies as we entered the tattoo place. The design was shown to me and I was so extremely happy with it. I LOVE flowers and the hibiscus flowers are so pretty and tropical. I went into the back room and got ready to get it done. The tattoo artist talked to me about colors as I was allowed to pick out my own for it. He wanted to make the flowers all yellow but I am not very fond of that color. I chose pink and tropical blue which are two of my favorite colors and I thought would look very pretty together. This studio was different than my other one that I had my ankle done. You are put into the same room with others so you can see them getting their tattoo's done. I was able to see one woman getting her hip done and another her arm. Shasta had her children with her and was waiting for Jack to arrive to get them so she could come in with me so she missed the outline part but she was able to come in for the coloring of it which took just as long to do. There were some parts of tattooing the spinal area which were some of the most painful feelings I have ever experienced in my life!! I could feel the tattoo gun right through all my spinal nerves and my endorphins were kicking into overdrive. I yelled out a few times and I had one guy there offer to give me his hand. I had a peice of paper towel to help me to squeeze when the pain got too intense. It took about two hours to get done. The longest of any of my tattoo's and the biggest. Shasta was incredibly supportive and helped me when the pain got intense at times. I went to the bathroom afterwards and was surprised to notice how extremely wet my panties were. I associate pain with pleasure so it's not surprising how I responded to it considering some of the very intense pain I felt. I was practically floating on air when we left. I was high on endorphins and my backside was extremely sore. I had a hard time sitting in the vehicle going back to her house. We laid out everything for the fondue and Shasta made us some homemade margaritas which were VERY yummy and the first time I've drank homemade ones before. We all sat down to eat with the fondue and I started to get the spins. I can drink a lot of alcohol so I knew it wasn't the one margarita I had drank. The endorphins were going into overdrive. I asked to be excused at one point to lay down. That only made the pain worse. I could feel the pain from my backside going up in my head putting me into a very deep subspace. I kept putting water on my face to try to get me back to feeling more normal. I had been looking forward to the fondue night for weeks and really wanted to be more social and enjoy it. I felt bad that I was so out of it. I did tell Shasta and Jack both that I was in subspace and I admit I was a bit worried about "little miss dangerous". She tends to come out when I'm in that state of subspace. I thought I did a good job of controlling my naughty behavior. At least until we went upstairs to look at her toys. LOL! I was drooling as Shasta showed me her very impressive toy collection. I don't know anyone who has more toys than she does. I was very aroused when looking at her spanking toys. She has different ones that I have never used before and I have to admit that I really wanted her to spank me with the flogger or some of the toys. I wasn't quite sure though how to go about asking for it. She showed me her thigh hi 6.5 Platform fetish boots that she had gotten and I really wanted to try them on. I've never seen a pair like them before. They look amazing! It took a while to get them on me and then I had a heck of a time trying to walk in them. I felt gravity pull me over and I barely managed to get over to the dresser to hold me up. Then I tried to walk again and BOOM!! I fell flat on my ass!! It was quite a sight and it had Shasta and I laughing and giggling hysterically! She was worried that I had done something to my ankle but it was ok. I was just very embarrased by falling over. I mentioned to her that now my ass was going to hurt and it wasn't even from a spanking!! My bottom was quite sore from falling on it so hard. She got out a new toy that she had received but not yet had the chance to try out called The Love Machine. I was very intrigued about it. She opened the box and we checked out the different attachments for it and plugged it in. I really wanted to give it a try but was a bit embarrased about asking and it was a new toy so I wasn't sure how she would feel about me using it. She must have seen the look on my face and read my mind as she told me to go ahead and give it a whirl. I wasn't sure how it would be testing that and if the machine would move around a lot or it would give good penetration. I was pleasantly surprised. It felt like you are getting fucked deep and constant. There is no stopping with it...just constant fucking. I used it doggy style first with the attachment for the vibrator on my clit while being fucked by the dildo in the machine that was penetrating my pussy in and out. It felt like heaven!! mmmm.... I turned myself around and then got the dildo into my pussy and turned up the control to make it vibrate stronger with the other vibrator on my clit. I was getting fucked by the machine and the other vibrator strongly vibrating on my clit. Shasta was taking pictures of me while I used the love machine. I really enjoyed knowing that she was watching this and I exploded with a huge orgasm from it! Then she told me it was time for bed as we had to be up early to go into Toronto. She tucked me into bed and I slept like a rock that night. It was a much better sleep than the night before. The combination of orgasm and margaritas and also the endorphins put me to sleep and I really enjoyed being tucked in by Shasta. I had sweet dreams that night and then woke up and got ready for our day in Toronto and Goodhandy's. Stay tuned for tommorow's post all about our adventures in Toronto!! Things I got to cross off my bucket list from Friday were: #39 -Have a fondue #230 -Make a margarita from scratch #207 -Try out a sex machine #401 -Get my lower back tattoo'd #409 -Have someone else decide on a tattoo and to wear someone else's mark on my body #440 -Try out a new vibrator that I havn't before May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Part 1 - Wild Toronto weekend with Shasta

I am back from my Toronto trip and am having some crashing from it all today. I had a severe lack of sleep through the trip which has made me exhausted. It's very hard to go back to reality after so much fun and escape and adventures from the weekend. I am glad to be back to Master and our children and to be wearing my collar again. He is home today taking care of me and I have to unpack and am also in the process of uploading a ton of pictures that I took from the trip. SOOOOO much happened that it's impossible to write it all in one post. So over this next week I will be posting in different parts what happened each day and events. Goodhandy's was an experience just in itself and will be done in one post. I saw and did things this last weekend that I have never seen or done before. I am able to cross off a ton of different things off my bucket list too!! I will be letting everyone know which ones I crossed off as I post about what happened each day. I am missing Shasta already and still have the memory from yesterday of our long lingering kiss goodbye at the airport. It was hard to say goodbye and I hope that she knows that I enjoyed my trip to see her so much and am missing her today and she is on my mind a lot today. You can check out Shasta's blog also for her different posts about the trip. She will be posting about our adventures too and it gives you her perspective on things and is able to share in her adventures too from it. Please check it out over the next week! Thursday June 12th - Arriving in Toronto I woke up at 4 am and was on time for my early flight out of Vancouver, BC on Westjet. I was happy to have some coffee and to be awake enough for the long flight. The flight was very turbulent and my tummy wasn't too happy about it. I was also feeling so extremely nervous about meeting Shasta. I was glad that CSI Miami was on the TV on the flight and I could watch it while listening to it with my headphones. It helped to keep me calm during a rough flight. The cute guy next to me on the flight also helped me a lot. *winks* Too bad I didn't get his number. I was SOOO excited and nervous when we landed in Toronto. I could see downtown Toronto as we landed and the CN tower. I've never been to Toronto before so I was so excited to see a new city as the plane landed. I went to get my baggage and there was an message for me over the loud speaker asking me to come to the Westjet counter. Shasta was running a bit late due to traffic and she told me to stay put. So I sat down to rest and my tummy had some major butterflies as I kept looking for her. I saw her arrive with her kids and we gave each other a big hug. We both held it together pretty good. I wasn't sure how emotional we would get when we both first saw each other. We drove back to her house which is huge and amazing!! I was able to get settled into my own room and take a quick shower in her incredible shower that has a ton of room and is really wonderful to shower in. I got to meet her husband, Jack when he came home from work and then we headed out for Sushi at a place nearby. We sat and talked for a long time and I enjoyed a beer with the sushi. I ate too much with dinner though and my tummy wasn't too happy. We had planned to go for a walk or to Starbucks but we were both tired and wanting to go back and relax. She tucked me into bed and I had a really tough first night there. My tummy felt awful and I kept having to go to the bathroom a lot and was having cramping. I also am not used to being alone and even my teddy bear didn't help me with that. I had a really bad sleep that night. I woke up on Friday though and felt better after some toast and coffee. We had a really wonderful talk over our morning coffee. So much better than doing it through MSN. I enjoyed being able to talk in person while enjoying the morning coffee. We then headed out grocery shopping and picked up liquor and some Tim Hortons double doubles to take back with us. We visited a bit more when she surprised me by telling me that I was getting a tattoo in two hours!! This had been arranged in advance so I knew I was getting a tattoo but I didn't know the design or when it was going to be done. I was SOOOO nervous at that point and excited! Tommorow's post and pictures will be my lower back tattoo experience and all the details from that and also the fondue/margarita's and also some toy testing that night!! Stay tuned and come back tommorow and this week to hear more from our adventures!! I was able to cross these off the bucket list at this point of the trip: #2 -Go on a trip alone #16 -Meet another blogger #101 -Meet Shasta Gibson #227 -See the CN Tower in Toronto #271 -Have a coffee in person with Shasta Gibson #269 -Have someone tuck me into bed that isn't Master #326 -Have sushi with Shasta Thank you for voting in our latest poll asking you if you wanted Shasta to spank me. The results are in! Yes! She needs a hard spanking! - 54% Yes! She needs an erotic fun spanking - 37% No! She is a good girl - 2% Only if she misbehaves - 5% Lots of people wanted Shasta to spank me and I did indeed get spanked on Saturday night from her! You'll have to come back to read all about it when I eventually get to post about our Goodhandy's night! She's got a wicked crop and she sure knows how to use it! *smiles* May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

i miss you Master

Master, i am feeling so alone tonight and wanted to write you a post here tonight and let you know how i am feeling. Hearing your voice tonight made my heart ache for you and i havn't been able to stop crying. my neck feels so naked without your collar around it. i am angry at myself for forgetting to pack it. Of all the things i forget to pack and the most important thing was my collar. my neck has never felt so naked and i miss the feel of it as i am sleeping. i feel so lost without your strength and dominance and you making the decisions for me. Tonight i had to try to put myself to bed for the first time on the trip as Shasta did not put me to bed. i am not sure how to put myself to bed. i am so used to being tucked in. i am so used to having you kiss me and tuck me in and telling me to "sleep for you and dream of you". i am not used to be apart from you for this long. i am not used to having to make so many decisions as you are always chosing what i eat and what i do and don't do. The one major thing i have not liked about this trip is having to make my own decisions. i am never happy when i have to be strong or make decisions and to even to put myself to bed. i miss you, Master...i need you soooooo bad right now. i have never in my life felt so lost and my mind is thinking of only You tonight. i miss your arms around me when i sleep. i miss the smell of you....the way you spank me and take care of me and reassure me and i miss my Master and need Daddy so much. i feel very insecure about what happened last night at Goodhandy's and my one night stand. i really needed to hear reassurance from you about it. i know you said that i could have sex on this trip but i was worried when i couldn't get a hold of you earlier. i thought you might have been upset or angry with me. i checked g mail and didn't see any messages from you and i really freaked out tonight. There have been some really fantastic times on this trip and i am glad for all my experiences. i just really miss the structure of the way my life is under your control and guidance. i feel so utterly lost having to make my own decisions even about the small things like food choices or even having a bedtime. i don't know how to sleep without you telling me to. i have had to put a pillow beside me so i don't feel as alone and it feels like you are beside me. i am writing tonight on Shasta's laptop so i could let you know how much i miss you and can't wait to be in your arms again and to feel your collar around my neck and back into being your slave again. my soul is aching for you tonight. i honestly do not remember the last time i missed you like this. Maybe it was in Vegas when i stayed up all night to watch the sunrise and had wished you were there to see it with me. It was kind of hard to be at Niagara Falls tonight and it's so romantic there and we talked about going there together. i thought of you there wishing you could kiss me and hold onto me and see the beauty of it together. i have not ever been apart from you this long and i am really, really missing you and needing my Master. i wish you were here to spank me and tuck me into bed tonight. i should have told Shasta how i was really feeling tonight. We did have a really incredible day but it really troubled me when i couldn't reach you on the phone and there were no e-mails or messages. i know it is a rule to tell her what i am feeling on this trip but i didn't want to bring her down after a great time at the wine tour and going to Niagara falls together and a lot of fun times this weekend. i really don't think it truly hit me until tonight how much i miss you and a deep need to be controlled. my masochistic soul is aching for some pain and spankings. i really need to feel your pain again and to know that i am owned. i can't wait to be in your arms again in about 24 hours. i miss you and our home and our children and you being in charge. i can't wait til you are making the decisions again so i don't feel so lost. Know that i am thinking of you....crying tonight tears for you with feeling alone and needing you. i love you...sometimes it takes being apart to realize what is important and i know that i don't always appreciate all that you do for me. my force is not strong without you.... i truly, deeply miss you and love you...now and forever...i belong to you... love Your padme

The secret's out!

I had posted about a big surprise being planned for me on my Toronto trip. The secret is out! I got a "tramp stamp tattoo" on my lower back today. Shasta designed the tattoo and it took me two hours of lots of intense pain and pleasure getting it done tonight. It looks incredible and feels so sexy and naughty and beautiful! I was soaking wet after getting it done and floating on endorphins for hours. If you want to see what the tattoo looks like...head over to Shasta's blog and check it out for yourself! You will have to sign up for a password as it's under a protected post there. I'm so happy with my new tattoo! You should see what it looks like! Head over to her blog today and sign up for the password and you can check it out for yourself and let me know what you think! :) Having an awesome trip so far and much more to cum tomorrow! May the force be with you!! ~padme amidala

I'm in Toronto!

I didn't expect to do any blogging on my trip but Shasta is still sleeping and I had a bit of computer time on her laptop so I thought I would do a quick post and update on my Toronto trip and let everyone know how I'm doing. I landed safe in Toronto yesterday after a very long early flight from Vancouver airport. I got lucky by sitting beside a very sexy single man that had a very deep voice and was very friendly. We talked for a bit and he gave me his newspaper to read and we did some flirting. I considered joining the mile high club but those bathrooms are pretty small. LOL! Master asked me on the phone last night if I got his phone number and unfortunately I didn't. :) Shasta has an amazing house and I've been spoiled here on my trip. We gave each other a big hug at the airport and was able to hold it together and not get too emotional when I finally got to give her that hug. I got to meet her husband, Jack and then she took me out for sushi last night and it was delicious and yummy! My tummy though got a bit upset through the night and I had a rough night sleeping with lots of insomnia. I missed Master beside me and putting me to bed and I wish I had packed my nighttime collar. I forgot it and I am used to it around my neck and it felt naked with it not there last night. I had to finally put a pillow beside me so it felt like Master was there and I fell asleep. I hope that he knows that I miss him lots and really enjoyed talking to him on the phone last night. It sounds like the kids have been spoiled when I am gone on my trip. I am sure there are tons of people wondering if there has been anything naughty happening on my trip so far. I will leave that up your imagination whether or not anything has occured. I will tell you that I have yet to get a spanking from her. I almost considered being a brat last night just to see what she would do but I'm also trying to be a good houseguest and not get too naughty. At least for now. I have a hard time being a good girl for a long time so I imagine I might earn a spanking at some point. *big smiles* Today is our fondue and margarita night and we plan to get groceries for that and supplies. I am looking forward to that and hoping my tummy settles down a bit. I am really looking forward to heading into Toronto tommorow and going shopping and staying at the hotel and Goodhandy's! Wooo hoooo!!!!!!! My vacation is just begining and I can't wait to see what happens next... May the force be with you all! ~padme amidala

Happy HNT - Toronto or Bust

Happy HNT! You might be wondering why I am putting up our HNT picture so early this week. I am taking tommorow off to get ready for the trip and also plan to talk to Shasta on the phone and do any final preparations for the trip. I have a very early bedtime tommorow night also to get ready for my 4 am wake up call on Thursday morning for my very early flight out of Vancouver. This will be my final blog post before my Toronto trip which is just hours away now. I will not be posting again until I am back next week and able to post about all my adventures from my trip which I am sure will be many posts. I can't imagine being able to squeeze everything that I plan to do with Shasta into one post. Master Anakin took this picture on Friday night for a fun and naughty theme for my Toronto trip. I am naked and holding a sign saying "Toronto or Bust". Master thought it was funny I was showing my bust line while saying that. We both hope you enjoy the HNT picture! :) I booked my trip 8 weeks ago but I have been talking for months and even years about meeting my best friend, Shasta. It seems like I have been thinking about it forever. We chat almost every day and we've talked on the phone numerous times and in less than 48 hours I will be on a plane headed to Toronto to actually be able to give her a big hug in person!! WOOOO HOOOO!! I am feeling nervous and excited and giddy and even a bit emotional too about it all. I hope I am able to hold it all together when I get the chance to finally hug her. I have been waiting for that moment for a long time and I can't wait!! Last night I had a dream again about my trip. This is the third dream that I have had in regards to the Toronto trip. My last two were about the plane but this one was about actually spending time with Shasta. Pretty soon it won't be a dream anymore and I'll really be there and we'll be having sushi together and shopping in Toronto and having fondue's and going on wine tours and everything else that we have planned for this upcoming fun weekend! I met Shasta two years ago this month. We met through our sex blogs but our friendship became a lot more than just our blogs. We found out that we had a lot in common with our poly marriages and similar experiences in our life. I have been able to talk to her about my issues with my Dad as she has had similar ones herself. I am very happy that this Father's day which is on Sunday is a day that we have special plans and will be having a fun time. I am normally depressed and upset on that day thinking about my Dad. This year I'll be too busy having fun with my best friend to think about him. If you havn't read my rules for the Toronto trip...you can check them out HERE. This is my first trip that I don't have a "no sex" rule and can indulge if I feel like it. That's pretty exciting that I can get naughty if I am wanting to. You will also read on that post with the Toronto rules all our plans for the weekend. Shasta has a lot of different fun things planned for me including going to Goodhandy's which is a sex club and will be my first ever experience going to somewhere like that. I'm so nervous and so excited all at the same time!! We plan to stay in a hotel that night so Shasta can enjoy a few drinks and we can live it up! There will be many things that I get to cross off my bucket list this weekend. It will be interesting to count them all up when I am back and figure out how many I got to cross off. There will be several firsts for me also like going on a trip on my own and going to the sex club and even getting spanked by a woman! Rule #19 specifically says "19. Show Shasta respect at all times and listen to her. Be a respectable houseguest. Shasta has full permission from Master Anakin to spank padme as she sees fit for any disrespect or misbehavior or not listening. padme is in Shasta's hands when the plane lands and must try to be a good girl. Of course naughty girls are ok as long as Shasta is ok with that." That means I could get spanked on this trip. I am trying to not have too many expectations but I imagine that will be one thing that is probably going to happen. Can you imagine me being a good girl for the entire trip? LOL! Not too likely! Especially when I'm drinking vodka or in my "little miss dangerous" mood. I just hope Shasta can keep me under control when little miss dangerous comes out to play. *winks* I'd like to thank Master Anakin for allowing me to go on this trip. This wouldn't be happening if he didn't allow it. I know that he hasn't trusted to send me anywhere alone with anyone other than Shasta. He has complete trust in her and our friendship and he has been completely supportive and wonderful about it. We have had many long talks about the trip and he wants me to "live it up" and enjoy myself. He's been really generous about my spending money and will be taking care of the kids and place while I am away. He has told me I deserve a trip away and to enjoy myself and he wants to hear all about it when I get back! I'm sure there are many others who want to hear how it all goes also. I've been told by several people that they are jealous of my trip to meet Shasta. I've had e-mails and phone calls and lots of people asking a lot of questions about the trip. My sister (who knows we have an open marriage) was very smart about it and asking some very personal questions about it. I am not sure what will happen but I'm positive that when Shasta and padme amidala get together...there is going to be lots and lots of fun times and interesting blog posts. LOL! I won't be blogging until next week but you can always check Shasta's blog for any updates or pictures. I also plan to keep up with my twitter which is on my sidebar. It's my way to keep Master and everyone updated on what's happening. I promised Master I would try to update my twitter at least a few times a day. A vacation for me means no computer. I don't want to go on a trip and spend all my time on a computer. I do enough of that normally and I like to get away from the computer and enjoy life on my trips. I know this will be a life experience for me and that I'll be talking about this for a very long time. It's my first time going to Toronto and I am preparing for a long flight (it's almost as long to go to Hawaii from here) and the time zone differences. This will be my first night away from Master in 3 1/2 years. I admit I'm nervous about being away from him. I'm so used to my rules and rountines and structure. It will be strange to not have any diet restrictions and to have a lot more freedom than I am used to having. Of course it's not complete freedom as I have Shasta watching over me and I know I won't be able to go totally out of control. lol! I am all packed and ready to go!! I spent most of Sunday doing chores and getting my place cleaned up for Master and also I dyed my hair light blonde. I shaved my pussy and made sure to pack some fun and sexy panties as well as my Tweety bird pj's that I bought especially for the trip. I packed my "little miss dangerous" t-shirt and "beach girl" t-shirt and lots of different stockings. I packed my leather skirt too in case I don't find something while going to the Fetish stores in Toronto on Saturday. I am hoping though to spoil myself on a new sexy outfit to wear that night and even a few toys. I did not pack any toys on this trip. I figure that Shasta has more toys than anyone I know and she has offered to let me borrow any if I need to! *big smiles* I'm hoping to maybe test out her sex swing too and even maybe wear some of her boots or sexy clothes or try her corset. (which is also on the bucket list) Ahhhhh...can you tell I'm SOOOO excited!!!!!!!! I can barely stand it! It's all I can think about right now!!!!!!! I'd like to thank Shasta and her husband, Jack for letting me stay at their house and all that they are doing for my trip out to Toronto. Shasta has been amazing with getting everything planned and ready to make it a very special memorable trip for me. Both Master and I both appreciate it very much! There is something very special planned for my trip too and I am not telling what but you will have to wait and find out!! I am VERY nervous about it but also extremely excited! I know that this trip will make my friendship with Shasta closer and I am willing to bet it's the first of many trips ahead. Shasta has mentioned possibly coming out here later this year or maybe even a Tofino camping trip next year. Thank you to everyone who voted in our latest poll. We asked you "who do you think needs a spanking more?" The results are in! There were 50 votes! Britney Spears - 30% Lindsay Lohan - 20% Paris Hilton - 28% Madonna - 4% Nicole Ritchie - 4% Jessica Simpson - 8% Angelina Jolie - 16% Natalie Portman - 10% padme amidala - 42% I really had to giggle that I got more votes than Britney Spears and Paris Hilton! Am I really that much of a brat? Wow...I have to say that I am very flattered. *winks* We put up a new poll today that is themed also for the Toronto trip. Please vote! Do you think that Shasta should spank me? We would love to hear from you! This song and video reminds me of the Toronto trip and I wanted to put it up today! Time to take a holiday! WOOT!! Have lots of fun this week and I'll catch up on blogs when I get back and also be posting next week when I get back!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I want to start my vacation!!!!!!!! See you next week! *waves* Remember...what happens in Toronto Stays in Toronto! ;) May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Fantasy blowjob

I have been getting ready for my Toronto trip which is coming up in a few days. I don't plan to post next Monday while I am away on my trip. My mind has been on the vacation and inspired some talks with my Master about future vacations that we would like to take together. There are a few fantasy trips that we would like to take one day. One of those is a Hedonism resort. I put it onto my bucket list of things that I would like to do one day. I am intrigued by the idea that you can go to a adult type of resort and have lots of naughty types of fun there .... To read the rest of this blog post, please check out the Fellatrices blog! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Friday night naughty fun with Darth Vader

I ran a hot bath last night and soaked with a bath bomb and started to fantasize. The night before I had a very sexy dream and I started to think about it. I had a dream of being at a club having a drink alone and I was approached from a very sexy good looking couple. Two strangers that I have never met before. They sat down with me and started to hit on me. Next thing I know the woman leaned over and kissed me and then the man. They asked me to go home with them and I left to go back to their place where a very naughty threesome started. I probably shouldn't have watched the TV show, Swingtown before going to bed. I was having swinger types of fantasies before falling asleep and it resulted in a very hot dream! mmmm.. I should mention that I've had something very similar happen to me twice before. I met a couple during my club days and went back to their place but I was very naive and inexperienced at that time and couldn't go through with the threesome. I also met a couple in Las Vegas during a trip there with my sister in 2000. I met them in Club 54 there. We had a sandwich on the dance floor and they asked me to go back to their hotel room with them but I declined. I had a rule that forbid me from having sex with anyone on the trip and I also had my sister with me at the time so I couldn't just leave her there in a strange club in Las Vegas by herself. Boy I was tempted that time though. They were a very sexy couple and I still have a few fantasies of what it could have been like if I had taken them up on their offer. I was having a threesome fantasy in the bath last night. I started touching myself in the bath and feeling very aroused. I got out and got dressed into my pink heart panties and my "whatever" nightgown that Master thinks is so cute. I got some more merlot to drink and Master a drink and then came upstairs to set up while he put Skywalker to bed. I got out our toys and put them on the floor and put out the camera for him. He wanted to take a special HNT picture for the Toronto trip which we plan to put up on Wednesday before I leave on my Toronto trip! Only FOUR more days til my Toronto trip!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO!! Boy it's so close now that I can hardly stand it. I have so much to do tommorow to start final preparations for the trip. I put on a porno and lit some candles and started to set the scene for some play on the darkside with Darth Vader. He came into the bedroom and we talked for a while and had our drinks and watched some of the porno. He commented that he wanted to try to mark me for my trip. He often does this when I am travelling without him so I have something to remember him by. He ordered me over the pillow laying out at the end of the bed and he picked up the wooden spoon laying nearby. He started off quickly spanking my ass hard with the wooden spoon and had my ass dancing around. I tried to not squirm but it got really hard at moments. He took a picture of how red my ass was after he was done with the spoon. It felt like it was on fire!! He hadn't even pulled down my panties yet at that point. He spanked around them and those panties do not exactly offer a lot of protection either. I was sent to the "bad girl" corner and ordered to pull down my panties and put my hands above my head. He took a picture of that too. Does anyone want to see it? I heard him going into the toy box and grabbing a few things but I couldn't see what because I was facing the corner and I know Master doesn't like me to look around while I'm in the corner. I could feel the pussy juice starting to run down my legs. I felt humiliated and submissive. I could hear him hitting the bed with something but I wasn't quite sure what. Then I was told to turn around and my heart literally skipped a beat when I saw what he was holding. It was THE CANE!! The mean bamboo cane which is often used just for punishment. I had worried at first that I had done something really bad because it is one toy that is not used for fun spankings. He had the look of Darth in his eyes and told me that he felt the cane would mark my ass better than the the other toys. That he would not be giving me a punishment caning but a firm hard erotic caning instead. I was intrigued as I honestly do not remember ever getting one of those before. My memories of the cane are brutal canings for severe infractions. My ass was already on fire from the wooden spoon and now I had to get the cane. I wasn't sure I would be able to take it. He helped me through it. He was firm and yet didn't give me as hard of strokes with the cane as he could have. I knew he was holding back somewhat. He also made sure to get me very horny and excited so I could beg for more. He got me to spread my legs and started to work his magic fingers around my pussy and clit. He pinched my clit at one point and told me that he wanted me to take the last ten and to beg him for them. I was told that I must take every single one of the cane strokes and not move. I must count the strokes and thank him after they were all done. If I moved, another stroke would be counted onto the 10 and it would get harder and harder for me for take. He would let me cum but only after it was all over with. This was a total mind fuck for me. He knows that I am scared of the cane and I knew those ten would be hard ones and I was going to struggle to take them. The first one struck down on my ass like lightening. "One, Sir. Owwiiieeee...." I tried to count as my mind started to float into subspace. The next one was harder and I had a hell of a time not moving my ass. "Two, Sir" I tried to mumble. "Speak up, slave. I want to hear you counting clearly for Master. Don't forget you will get more and harder if you don't listen" he threatened me. I could feel the lines across my already red ass and I really was trying to stay still. I wanted to beg him to stop but I knew that would upset Darth Vader and I'd get more. The next few went faster and harder. "Three, Sir. Four, Sir. Five, Sir. Six, Sir" I tried with everything in me to say clearly. He told me there was only 4 left and I held my breath when number 7 came down hard across my ass. It was so hard that I accidently moved my ass and he told me that would be another number on top of the 10. I was able to stay still for the rest and the last one felt like my ass was being hit with a steel pipe. It REALLY hurt! He told me later that it was a full swing stroke. It cut into my ass leaving blood. I was very close to tears at this point. "Thank you Master" I said submissively. He plugged in the Hitatchi and then got out the Rabbit vibrator and told me he planned to fuck my pussy with it while I used the Hitatchi on my clit. He bite down on my left nipple a few times and would lick it afterwards to make it feel so good. Pain and pleasure had surrounded me at this point. It felt so good but my ass felt so damn sore and I felt close to tears and overcome with my emotions from the cane. I begged him to cum and I screamed out while my pussy came so hard. I started to cry at this point and he wiped my tears away and held me close reassuring me that it was ok. Master was there for me and would make me feel better. He ran his hand through my hair and kissed me. I was shaking and needed him. He took out his cock and plunged it into my pussy and started to fuck me at this point. It was a gentle type of fuck. He knew I was emotional and he wanted to make me feel pleasure from his cock. This was my reward for taking his pain. He played with my tits while fucking me. He kissed me with passion and lust and we fucked each other until he came deep up my pussy. It left me breathless and taken away with passion. We held each other close with his cum dripping out of my pussy. We laid there for a few minutes just holding each other very close. I felt a bond...very deep connection in that moment. Master and slave as one. It was a very beautiful moment. I cleaned up and he made me cum two more times before I felt like jello and needed to go to bed. I lay beside him naked feeling owned and submissive and completely content. I slept so solidly and woke up to him watching me. I feel so lucky to have such an amazing Master...he can take me to the edge...take me over the edge and bring me back again feeling so owned and happy. This song and video is going out to him today...I saw it on You Tube and it made me think of him so much! I love you Master.... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Horny little miss dangerous gets to play today!

I woke up feeling awful today. It's been raining a lot this last week and it was dark and dreary today. I felt lonely and cranky and spent a lot of time curled up in my big blanket. I decided to throw on some porn to watch. I was hoping it might get me out of the mood that I was in. It just made me feel depressed and lonely though. I didn't have permission to use the Hitatchi so I am not sure why I was torturing myself watching porn when I couldn't masturbate. I think sometimes that I am a porn addict because I just really enjoy watching it, even if I am not masturbating. I was watching a girl on girl scene in the porno and I was feeling even more down. It just reminded me that it's been almost 2 year since I even kissed a woman. The bisexual part of myself is really missing that aspect of my life and it sometimes feels like I'm never going to ever experience the feel and touch of a woman again. My hand found it's way in between my legs and I touched myself for a bit and then stopped because I knew I didn't have permission from Master to cum. My period stopped today and I havn't had any naughty fun since the weekend when I broke my orgasm record with Master. I felt cranky and irritable but I also felt a bit aroused from the porn and started to fantasize about Master. Today was karate day so the kids were going to be away for an hour. I like Thursdays because we get an hour of alone time when the in-laws take them for us because they leave early and Master is not able to take them. He walked in the door tonight and I couldn't help but be extremely turned on. He was all dressed up and smelled nice. He was doing interviews today and had to dress up and he looked so sexy!! I mentioned the kids were gone and that little miss dangerous wanted to play with him. He had the look of Darth Vader in his eyes and we practically ran upstairs to our bedroom to get started on some naughty play. Clothes were flying off in a hurry and Master made sure to quickly unbuckle and take off his belt from his dress pants and laid it onto the bed. I could hardly wait to get some attention on my ass. I was feeling stressed and I needed the spanking HARD!! He wasn't too happy with some attitude that I had on the phone and through e-mails to him today. He said that I needed an attitude adjustment. I got naked and threw the pillow at the end of the bed and begged him to strap my ass with his belt. I wanted to feel it so much. My soul was aching for a very hard spanking. Darth Vader always delivers and he made sure to start off with some very hard strokes with his belt. My ass was squirming around a bit while the belt went down hard across my ass cheeks. "Stay still, bitch" he said sternly. "It's hard, Master. Owwwwwwwiiieee!! Not so hard!!!!!!!!" I tried to plead after some extremely hard strokes. "You said you wanted it hard. I'm just giving you what you wanted. Stay still and take it for Master" he said while not stopping the strapping. My ass felt like it was on fire!! I could feel the stripes across my ass and it burned. I could also feel my pussy juices flowing and I could feel wetness between my legs. Master must have noticed because he put a hand between my legs and started to feel. "mmmmm... My girl. You are soaking wet!! What a naughty girl you are getting all wet because of my belt. You are enjoying this, aren't you?" He spanked me a few times very hard with his hand and then stopped and told me to turn around and spread my legs. "Spread your legs for Daddy" he told me. I felt like such a slut in that moment. I NEEDED him bad!! I was aching for him to fuck me. I could barely stand it. My ass was on fire and my pussy was wet and needy. I wanted him inside of me SOOO bad! "PLEASE fuck me!! Please please fuck me!" I begged him and looked at him with need in my eyes. He got naked and started to play with his cock a bit and got hard fast and then climbed on me and we started to fuck. It was the kind of sex that I love...rough and animalistic and we both wanted each other so much. He stopped at one point and told me to get to the end of the bed and get on my hands and knees. He wanted to fuck me from behind doggy style. Ohhhhh he knows that I LOVE this position soooo much!! He grabbed his belt and put it around my neck and started to ride me. I LOVE that!! I could cum just from the breath control from his belt. The belt that had just caused me so much pain on my bottom and the belt that I LOVE and he knows that I have a fetish for. He knows it is turning me on to feel it around my neck while he fucks me hard and takes me. He is controlling the air that I breath while he fucks me. He pulls hard on it while he penetrates me deep in my pussy. "HARDER Master. Ohhhhhh fuck me harder!! Pull on your belt hard!!" I was almost gasping at this point. Complete need in me...feeling so deeply masochistic and submissive. In that moment I am slave. I am HIS. I am owned and he is taking me the way that he wants...he wants me to know that he controls every inch of me. It was AMAZING! I felt on the edge of an orgasm while he fucked me. He came so deep up my pussy and we both collasped on the bed panting and out of breath. He took his belt from around my neck and laid it on my naked body. "I need more" was all I could say. "Please give me more" I begged. He got me to clean up because there was so much cum between my legs from our fuck. I was so extremely wet from my pussy and his cum. I came back and I put the pillow back over the end of the bed. It had fallen over from our fucking. I got my ass over it and he picked up his belt and gave me more. I floated in subspace taking the pain wanting more. I was practically raising my ass up to take the strokes!! I WANTED pain!! I wanted the pain so much!! Darth is always happy to feed that deep need in me. He strapped me again on top of the marks and bruises from the previous strapping. "Your ass is glowing and so red now, My bitch. Are you ready to cum for me now?" he came over towards my face and held it in his hand. He looked deep in my eyes holding onto his belt. He put his belt up to my face and rubbed it. He got me to turn over and went and plugged in my Hitatchi for me. He got out the clothespins and he put them on my nipples. Then he threw his belt onto my body like a snake. He started to masturbate me with the Hitatchi and it didn't even take me two minutes before I was begging him to cum. "Please Master....please, please, please let me cum!!!!!!!!!" He said "cum for me" in a very stern voice and I came so hard!! I screamed out so loud and the orgasm seemed to go on forever. I laid there feeling so vulnerable and submissive afterwards. He took off the clothespins and held me close to him. He pet my hair and comforted me and talked softly to me. He rubbed my very sore bottom trying to make it feel a bit better. It was SOOO sore! "My naughty girl who needed her Master and some attention on her ass. Master hopes she is feeling better now" he said while looking into my eyes. I could only nod yes. We came downstairs and I went on MSN messenger with my friend, Shasta. My ass was sore and I had a hard time sitting but I felt in a really great mood and was still feeling horny. She didn't exactly help with my horny state either. There was some naughty chat about making a porno together and her spanking me. I have to admit I've been wondering and thinking about that a lot the last few days. Wondering how hard she spanks me...what she will spank me with. I could feel my pussy getting wet again during our chat. I am feeling soooooooooo horny and aroused tonight. Drinking merlot and wishing I was in Toronto tonight so I could share a drink with Shasta and have some naughty fun. mmmm..... Little miss dangerous is out and ready for some play time!! Who wants to cum over and play with me? *winks* Only 6 days before my trip!! WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!! I can hardly wait!!!! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Happy HNT - padme's poor red ass cheeks

Happy HNT! We put this picture up before but I love it so much that I wanted to use it for HNT this week again. I love the pink lace panties and the poor red bottom that I got from the Anakin's paddle. You can see a bit of my naughty red schoolgirl skirt too. I have felt like a really naughty girl today. I asked everyone on twitter if there was anyone who wanted to spank me today. I feel like I need a hard spanking today. Master was saying that I have a hard spanking coming to me this weekend before my Toronto trip. He always spanks me before I leave so I have something to remember while I am away from him. I might even have some marks or bruises left on my bottom so I can show them to Shasta in person when I see her. One of my Toronto rules is #19. "Show Shasta respect at all times and listen to her. Be a respectable houseguest. Shasta has full permission from Master Anakin to spank padme as she sees fit for any disrespect or misbehavior or not listening. padme is in Shasta's hands when the plane lands and must try to be a good girl. Of course naughty girls are ok as long as Shasta is ok with that." I have to say that was my favorite of all the rules given to me for my trip. It is very arousing to wonder what it will feel like to get a spanking from a woman. I've had a few fun playful spanks on my ass but I've never had any kind of serious type of spanking from a woman before. Master Anakin was so curious how different it would be getting spanked from a woman vrs a man that he has asked me to do a blog post all about it when I am back from my trip and had the chance to experience a spanking from Shasta. I know Shasta's got a lot of different spanking toys and it makes me nervous to wonder how hard she might spank me or with what. There is a little part of me which almost wants to be a bit of a brat just to see how hard she might spank me. I bet there are a lot of readers out there who are probably curious about it too. Only one week to go now til my trip!! Wooo hooo!!! I got a lot of housework done today to get ready for my final cleanup before going on my trip. Master Anakin has a big "to do" list for me to do and I've been told I will get a punishment spanking if it is not all done by next Wednesday. I'll get to check in next Wednesday for my flight and I am really hoping to get a window seat. I've never been to Toronto before and I'm just so excited about my upcoming adventure. It honestly feels like one of the biggest things that has ever happened to me ever!! I've gone on trips but not like this one. I can't wait!! :) May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

1.7 million hits on Journey to the Darkside!

I have been debating all day and sat down several times to start a blog post but I just couldn't seem to collect my thoughts enough to write them all down. Master ordered me tonight to have a hot bath and gave me half a bottle of merlot and sat me down to write a post about how I am feeling. I apologize if some of it might seem scrambled or too emotional or might not even make sense. I am extremely tired from a severe lack of sleep going on. Our neighbors have been having a lot of parties lately and left me exhausted and I've had some severe insomnia going on too. I'm on my period too and feeling yucky because of that. I'm also struggling with my SAD (seasonal affective disorder) going on too with a lot of dreary rainy weather happening here in Vancouver, BC. There have been a lot of major changes going on in my life the last month. Some of them I have blogged about and others I have been more quiet about. It can be hard when I know that so many people are reading this blog. I have friends, ex lovers, people who used to be friends, and people from my past reading this blog and that can make it very tricky when trying to be so open in my posts. I like to think of Journey to the Darkside as a diary and a place that I can openly speak my mind without people getting upset at me for it. It hasn't helped that there has been people who did not like my blog or tried to get me to edit my posts because they didn't like what I was writing about. This blog IS a part of me. I blog about my life...the good, the bad and the ugly. I have found myself holding back a lot through the years from blogging about some of the most private of my thoughts because I don't want to hurt people. I have decided recently to start being more open on this blog and I've tried to explain to a few people that if you are my friend or a part of my life...please realize that you may be blogged about. This last month I have grown a lot and even Master has noticed a very different padme coming out of it all. I have made some very tough decisions and I've had to lean on Master to make a few for me that were just too difficult. I have a very big heart and I tend to forgive people very easily even when I get hurt over and over again. A perfect example of this is my Dad. I have taken him back countless times over and over again...a dysfunctional cycle that I keep repeating. I take him back and we start to get close and then he hurts me and rejects me and then we don't talk for a long time and then I take him back again. I have also had many dysfunctional friendships and relationships and a very similar cycle with most of them. I have been told that I forgive way too easily. I have a big heart and I tend to sometimes take people back into my life after being deeply hurt or it ending badly. Master Anakin tends to not intefere but he has to sometimes put his foot down and end the friendship/relationship for me. He doesn't like to see me get hurt. He has told me that a friendship shouldn't be a negative thing or cause me stress and anxiety and tears. It should be a good and positive thing to happen in my life. I can't count the number of times I got off yahoo very upset and it has affected our family life at times because of it. A perfect example would be something that happened at Christmas time. I had a pretty major fight with an online blogger friend and that person really upset me just days before Christmas. I wanted to try to work it out with that person but she wouldn't work it out with me. I got off yahoo very, very upset and crying. It affected our holidays so much and this was just after Master lost his Grandma. We tried to work it out but the friendship wasn't the same after that. Her and I have not talked in months and I know Master was not too happy about that. He is fine with me having friendships but he does not like when it interferes in our family life or relationship. He does not like me getting off a chat system upset and crying and emotional for days. A friendship should be positive and happy and not negative or upsetting. It took a lot of convincing Master to allow me to keep yahoo after what happened at Christmas. He wanted it gone but I talked him into keeping it. I have learned that Master not only controls all aspects of my life but he also controls my friendships and relationships with people. If it is affecting our family or relationship or is not a healthy positive one, he will end it for me if I don't. He tends to not forgive as easily as I do. He also does not forgive people too easily when they get me to break my rules or are not understanding of our D/s lifestyle. It was a main reason that Master R and I broke up and why I am not allowed to contact him or ever see him again. I didn't write too much about that breakup but something happened which caused Master Anakin to get very upset and I had to end my relationship with R. Tonight Master did something he has been threatening to do for a long time. He deleted yahoo from our computer. I've had the yahoo messenger for a few years now but it's gone and not coming back. I am allowed to use MSN messenger to chat as I have my friends Shasta, talia, my sister and mom and other close people on that list that I am allowed to talk to. I feel a sense of loss in some ways for deleting yahoo. I did have some good times on there with some friends and good chats and webcam nights and good memories. There are some people who I did enjoy chatting with on there. It is hard to say goodbye but at the same time it is also time for a change in my life and time to move on. A new chapter is beginning in my life... It is really hard sometimes to say goodbye to people who have been a part of my life for a long time. I tend to sometimes take back people just because I have a history with them. I do realize that Master knows what is best for me. He controls every aspect of my life and he also controls the computer. I have wanted to give up this blog at a few times but he didn't allow it. There are nights like tonight that I really didn't feel like blogging but he made me sit down at the computer and write this post. I had a really wonderful phone call with my best friend, Shasta this morning. Only 8 days to go til the Toronto trip!! Words can't even express how extremely excited I am about it!! I wish it was a week from now and I was getting ready to leave! I am so extremely grateful for my very close friendship with Shasta. She's a truly amazing friend and I don't know what I would do without her! I'm going to be very busy this weekend trying to get ready for the trip. I'm not sure how much I will be blogging between now and then. We reached a big milestone here at Journey to the Darkside tonight! We went over 1.7 million hits!! Wooo Hooo!! It's amazing to me how far we've come and how many hits we've had in almost 3 years since we started this blog. This month will also be our 1 year anniversary for our online store, Darkside Digital Arts and we are very proud of how far we have come with that too. Thank you for all the support, comments and e-mails! We appreciate all the feedback and support from everyone. It means a lot to Master and I both. Thanks for voting in our latest poll. We asked you what kind of club you have been to before. The results are in! Strip club - 71% Dance club - 76% BDSM club - 33% Swingers club - 33% Sex club - 28% Comedy club - 66% Fight club - 0% other - 19% I put in a fun new poll on our sidebar tonight asking you who needs a spanking the most! You can select multiple answers in the poll! I even included my name too in there. *winks* Well I've had way too much to drink tonight (I drank the whole bottle of merlot) and little miss dangerous is starting to come out. LOL! I'm horny and I wish I wasn't on my period or I would go upstairs and jump on Master and fuck his brains out! Maybe I can at least offer him a blowjob tonight. :) May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Fun panty quiz

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An amazing overnight breaking the orgasm record with Master

Master and I had an overnight on Friday and had decided that we would spend it playing and fucking. He had mentioned taking me to see the new Sex and the City movie that night but we both were craving some play time on the darkside and decided to spend the night in. We picked up some booze and snacks and I came back and ran a hot bath with a lavender bath bomb. I lit some candles and put on some soft music and then hopped in. Master came into the bathroom to talk with me while I had my bath and also help to wash my hair and body. I love when he does this!! There is nothing more erotic than him washing my entire body getting it nice and clean for our play. I love how he will lather up my hair and wash it for me. It makes me feel so submissive. Master had decided that he was going to try to make me use my safeword that night and to push me hard. I was so excited for the night to begin! He had his bath and we had our drinks and relaxed. Then we both gave each other a massage and I started to get all our toys out for playtime. We went downstairs briefly for some snacks a little bit of tv before coming up to start playing around 8 pm. It was a very intense play scene. I was put into rope bondage naked for almost 2 hours while he mind fucked me and slapped me and flogged my backside and pinched/played/hurt my nipples. I had a ball gag in at one point and was drooling all over my front. He told me I looked so fuckable. He left the room at one point and came back with a huge knife. We have done knife play but not for a long time. He did sensation play with the knife by running it up and down my body. He put some light cuts into my tits making me squirm around. My arms were held above my head in rope and they burned so bad at one point. He teased me about it and took off my gag and told me I could safeword if I wanted down but I didn't want to. Then he began flogging my front side. My tits were cut and red and throbbing. He went over and got the nipple clamps and put them on my nipples making me scream out. No one could hear me though over the Hackers soundtrack which was turned up very loud. It's really nice to play with no kids at home because we can turn up the music and both get really into the scene. I was finally let down and my arms felt like jelly and I had some problems walking because of the deep subspace I was in. He made me cum 3 times before telling me he was going to fuck my ass. I was unprepared for it and surprised. He told me I had 5 minutes to work the butt plug into my ass to get it ready. I tried to lube it up lots and get it ready. Anal sex is always intense when my ass hasn't had time to get it ready for it. He put his belt around my neck and then stuck his cock into my ass and started to fuck it hard. He would pull back on the belt and it would make it hard to breath. Breath play is always very intense and adds a lot to the play. It made me so horny that I begged him to cum through trying to catch my breath and he said "cum for me, bitch" and I came so hard from the anal. The orgasm went right through my body and straight up to my head which wasn't getting a lot of air from the breath play. I laid there limp while he finished fucking my ass and then came. There was some more play and then he put me onto my leash and we fell asleep naked together. I love when I fall asleep with my leash around his wrist. I slept so solid and content. I never did use my safeword. I was so deep in subspace from the play that I never felt a need to. Master was surprised how much I took for him. I had cuts and bruises and marks all over my body and my arms were sore yesterday. I woke up and went on the computer for a bit while waiting for Master to get up. He made me breakfast and we talked about our plans for the day. We didn't get Skywalker back til 6 pm and Master wanted to do more play and see if we could break my orgasm record. He knew he could push some more orgasms out of me and he wanted me to make sure my ass was good and sore and wanted the darkside play to continue. We went upstairs and I got spanked and then strapped with his belt hard. He made me cum two more times and I started to complain that my pussy was too sore and I didn't think I could take anymore orgasms. He laughed at me saying he needed a recorder for that because I'm always complaining that I want more. My pussy was throbbing and swollen. We took a brief break for lunch and then he told me he would get more orgasms from me and we would be breaking my record. We played more and he kept using the Hitatchi on my clit and he would use his fingers to fuck me or the rabbit. I got up to 14 orgasms within a 24 hour period and I broke my record!! My record was 12 and I got up to 14! Words can't describe how the 14th orgasm felt. I honestly didn't think I could cum again and I started to beg Master to stop. He kept on using the Hiatchi and threatening me with his belt until I came so hard for #14 that my body shook and I laid there for a long time with him holding me. He ran the shower for us and we both showered together and then I came out to him wanting me to give him a blowjob. I gave him a blowjob while he was laying down on the bed relaxing. He was very pleased and I felt so deeply connected to him and submissive. It felt like every part of me was sore and throbbing..my arms and ass and tits and especially my pussy. We had spent the night and then the next day doing nothing but playing and fucking and having orgasms. We were both exhausted and we layed down for a brief nap before getting up for a bbq dinner and some drinks. We got Skywalker back and relaxed for the rest of the night. I get to cross two more things off my bucket list this weekend and they are both naughty! #97 -Spend the entire day and night doing nothing but playing and having sex and orgasms #116-Break my orgasm record (12 orgasms in a 24 hour period) It's amazing how wonderful I felt yesterday and how things have completely changed this morning. I woke up to an unexpected early period which came on strong. I didn't have any warning or pms at all which is not like my usual periods. I didn't get a very good sleep either. Our neighbors were having a huge party and there were a bunch of drunks outside in the early morning hours waking us up several times. My kitty woke me up too and so did Skywalker. Master also wasn't sleeping very well and woke me up too. I also know I'm crashing hard from the intense play that we did. We don't normally play as hard as we did and for that long. I has made me feel extremely fragile this morning and feeling very off. I almost feel like I need a good cry and then a long nap. I am on the final countdown for the Toronto trip! 10 days and counting! It's hard to believe that next Thursday I will be in Toronto! I'm glad that my period will be done and over with before then. I would hate to be going on any trips today feeling like this right now. I admit I'm worried about something going wrong between now and then. I know it's just my hormones going wild right now though and things will feel better in a few days. Urg!! I really hate this time of the month!! It makes me feel fragile and my hormones running wild and I tend to get so irritable and I was cranky with Master this morning too and that makes me feel awful after having a wonderful overnight with him and feeling so connected yesterday. Sometimes I just need to remind myself that this will pass in a few days and I will be feeling better when the period is over. My force isn't feeling too strong today but I know things will get better... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala