A date at Metrotown and big talk with Master

I was fighting the flu for the beginning of my new year. I felt tired and drained and feeling like I had a flu bug for a few days. I woke up feeling a lot better yesterday. I'm glad I had the chance to have a good sleep for a few days in a row. I'm back to getting up early again starting tommorow for back to school with the kids. Master is back to work and everything goes back to normal again. I am craving a normal routine but also dreading getting up early again and trying to get my bedtimes back to normal. I was invited to a MVK (Metro Vancouver kink) demonstration for single tail play and then a play party afterwords with Shiro. I declined because I hadn't been feeling 100% and so much snow and bad road conditions but also because single tail play is also not something I am interesting in doing. Shiro recently purchased two single tails and I started to realize that I should tell him how I feel about that kind of play. I was starting to wonder if that was something he wanted to play with me and it is on my hard limits list. I had a bad experience with a few years ago with a bullwhip scene with Master Anakin and Master R during a threesome together. It has left me with emotional scars that I have not been able to get past. I don't like whips. I don't like the looks of single tail whips or even the sounds of them. It scares me. I do realize that some people love that kind of play and that's great. But I am personally not into it and it is on my hard limits. I put it on my bucket list hoping that I might be able to work past my fear but I am very unsure I will ever be able to. Master has also voiced concerns over doing that type of play with anyone who doesn't have years of experience with it. LB had offered to try a single tail on me last year but I was way too scared. I feel bad though that Shiro will have to do that type of play with someone else. I realized today though that I really should have been talking about my limits with him months ago when we first started playing together. I am not too sure I was very clear about them and it's important about discussing them when you play with someone and are getting to know them. Master and I had an afternoon of sitting yesterday and decided to head out for an afternoon of fun together. It was snowing a lot so we decided to take the skytrain down to Metrotown and do the park and ride. We had lunch together and then watched the new Transporter 3 movie together. I loved it! There was one scene where the wild Russian girl says "are you going to spank me?" to the Transporter (Jason Statham) and he says "that's just to start with." mmm...a very hot scene and I admit it got my sex drive back after it had disappeared for a few days. I was left squirming in my seat. I've always had the hots for Jason Statham. He's VERY hot!! Master said the girl in the movie reminded him a lot of me. I'm a wild Russian girl too when I get the vodka in me. *smiles* We did some shopping afterwords and then headed back for a relaxing night by our fireplace. We had some play and orgasms and then wound up having a really big talk afterwords. We both want 2009 to be a good year for us and our relationship. We both felt that we made some mistakes last year and that it caused some problems in our relationship. I was going out all the time to different bdsm events and not spending enough time with Master. He also felt that my mind was on a lot of different people towards the last part of the year and not focused enough on him. He felt that I also said "yes" to a few situations (like my mom coming for the holidays and my brother staying with us etc...) which put a lot of stress on us and I did not discuss with him first which is a rule between us. I have a hard time saying no to people sometimes and this caused a lot of problems between Master and I. I have promised him to come to him more and try to discuss things before agreeing to things. I have also promised him to spend less time out at different events and more time with him working on our relationship. We want to date each other more and try to play together more and make our force stronger. We both talked about wanting a trip together this year. We will have been married 5 years this year and have not been able to really get away for a proper honeymoon. Our kids are older and we want to try to go somewhere warm and tropical together. We did not have any kind of a trip together in 2008. We both feel that it's the year to work on us and make us stronger. There is more I can say about our talk last night but I will just say that I have done a lot of reflecting and soul searching the last few weeks and so has Master Anakin. I want to put as much into my relationship with him that I was doing with other people last year. We both talked about our hopes and goals for 2009 and we both want to get our force stronger and focus more on each other. Our Air Supply night was very special and so was yesterday. I realize that spending time with my loving Master and husband is the priority for 2009 and I want to focus my energy a lot more on him and being his slave and wife. I belong to Him now, always and forever.... May the force be with you all! ~padme amidala