 My sister is sleeping and I've got a bit of time to write and felt like doing a quick blog post. Today feels like the beginning of the end. It all begins tomorrow for the end of this chapter in my life...the loss of my Dad. Tomorrow is the viewing of his body. I was surprised by how many people think this is a very bad idea for me going to it. My Grandma tried to talk me out of it. Many people are worried about me right now. I guess I feel that I need to go though. I need to say goodbye to my Dad and this is my chance to do it.
My sister has been staying with me since Monday and is driving me a bit crazy. I see a lot of my Dad in her personality. She is a control freak and likes things her way. My brother is arriving tomorrow and I am not looking forward to him being here. I found out some news that troubles me a lot and I worry about how he is going to cope for the few days he's here. I am extremely anxious and stressed out about the next few days. I already feel like I am very close to having a nervous breakdown and the events havn't even happened yet.
We found out some news yesterday that his old co-workers plan to attend the memorial service and they will be dressed in full uniform. My Dad would have been very pleased with that. They plan to do a speech. Also a few other people plan to speak which surprised me also. He had many friends and they loved him dearly. One of his best friends is flying out from Ontario today and plans to attend all the events over the next few days.
It hurts me so much to think of saying goodbye to my Dad. I still can't believe that he is really gone. I hope to have more closure in the next few days with everything that is happening. Hopefully I can find a way to say goodbye to my Dad...
I am trying to lean on people right now for support. I don't think I can get through this difficult time without the support of my friends and family. My force feels very weak and I feel extremely fragile right now. It is the beginning of the end...
May the force be with you all!!
~padme amidala
| 
4 comments:
My padme,
I will be there for you during this extremely stressful time in any and all ways.
Despite the stress, you have to say goodbye in a way that will give you closure; you'll forever regret it if you don't, even if it's hard as heck right now. The viewing, if your heart tells you is necessary, is necessary. As is anything else; listen to your heart.
Love always, and forever...
~Anakin
Hi Padme,
Follow your heart is right. Only you know what you need. Lean on those that love you and when it is most difficult breath -- and as you breath in, think of all those that wish you streangth. Let your force grow as you draw energy from those that love you, even those of us out here in cyberspace. Family stress is normal, do your best to not lash out at one another, remember you are all hurting in your own unitque ways. Just breathe and know that this time will pass where family is so fragile and too close for comfort, but leter you will need them even more. It won't be easy, but just try and preemptively forgive because no one is at their best right now. My thoughts are with you.
Padme, please know you have been in my thoughts and prayers.
try to stay strong and allow others to help you out during this time...you'll pull through and time will begin to heal your wounds.
xoxoxo
viemoira
Post a Comment