 I had a pretty good weekend up until today. We have had sitting for our two kids all weekend and a lot of alone time. Friday night was a movie night. Yesterday was a beach day and also a play night. We took a ton of pictures and it was wonderful to escape into some play and not worry about things for a while. It was a well needed break from all that has happened the last month.
I woke up this morning and realized that it was Father's Day. Last year I was in Toronto for Father's day. I spent it going to wineries with my bud, Shasta and having a wonderful time. This Father's day is quite different. It isn't a happy one for me. My Dad is gone and I can't phone him today and wish him a happy father's day. Master is out for breakfast with his Dad right now. I'm alone and I was watching some country videos. I saw one which reminded me so much of my Dad. I wanted to share it with my blog. This brought tears to my eyes and made me think of my Dad today..
The Dance by Garth Brooks
Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance
.....
I started crying when I heard that song. It reminded me of my Dad and one of my fondest memories with him when I danced with him at my first wedding. The lyrics which said so much to me were "And now I'm glad I didn't know. The way it all would end, the way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain. But I'd of had to miss the dance."
That says so much to me right now. I am glad that I had the chance to dance with my Dad. That I had those special memories with us. It is so difficult to experience Father's day without a Dad. To go visit him at his grave rather than see him in person and give him a big hug. I am trying to move forward but days like today make it difficult. My life is a lot different now with not having a Dad.
I want to wish my Daddy (Master Anakin) a happy father's day today. He's been my force through all of this and I am so grateful for all that he does for me and our children.
May the force be with you all!!
~padme amidala
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Anakin
padme
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6 comments:
My padme, this was such a sad yet beautiful post; I knew today was going to be one of those very difficult days; it came through in your words, and that song is so beautiful. You're supposed to miss your Dad today, it's right to feel how you do. In fact you honor him when he is remembered and thought of and missed. And he is greatly missed. I'll be here for you through it all.
~Anakin
My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.
healing is not easy, but having so much love to keep as treasure does help.
patty
beautiful post.
Thank you Master, the wench and mary for your comments. They mean a lot to me.
Hugs,
padme
i'm happy you were able to get your mind off of things by having some one-on-one with you Husband/Master before having to deal with the first father's day without your dad. i hope things get better for you as time goes by.
Lots of hugs to you!!
What a nice post...we "Daddy's" love when our little girls remember us, my lil*j and our girl tee certainly remembered me today *W I lost my father in 1990, at 53 years old, asbestos (mesothelioma) cancer...He never met his grand kids on this plane! That is a huge regret for me. I still think of him often, and miss him to...so know you are not alone there *S
Nawa*G
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