A very difficult time for the Skywalker's

The guests have all gone home. I'm sitting here feeling sadness and sorrow and deep depression. My eyes are swollen from all the crying that I have done the last few days. I've had very little sleep...averaging about 5-6 hours a night the last week. My thoughts have all been with my Dad. Just writing this post is bringing on the tears. I am emotionally exhausted and drained. The memories of the last few days will stay with me for a lifetime. Saying goodbye to a parent has got to be the most difficult experience of my life. I've lost Grandparents and even babies (through miscarriage) before but losing my Dad has thrown my life into total chaos and despair. I have never experienced a loss like this before. There have been constant phone calls and guests in and out of our house. Daily duties to say goodbye to my Dad...a viewing of his body on Thursday night. A burial on Friday. And then a memorial service and reception that happened yesterday. It was a very difficult day for the Skywalker's and all of my Dad's friends and family. There were many, many, many tears. I heard stories about my Dad which moved my heart greatly. The burial was truly beautiful but yet tragic. The spot he is buried is perfect. It is a beautiful view. Watching the burial broke my heart. I stayed to watch the whole thing. I kissed his coffin and I said "I love you, Dad". Then I watched them put him into the ground and then the dirt get buried on top. It was one of the most emotional experiences in my life. I kept it together for the memorial service. I was the MC (Master of ceremony) and I also did a speech. It took me 3 hours to write that speech on Friday night. I drank a whole bottle of wine and the paper I wrote on was stained from all my tears. The memorial service was unforgettable. I heard several people comment that it was the best service that they have ever attended. There was approx. 250 people there. I saw friends and relatives that I hadn't seen in years. Leia said a beautiful poem to her Grandpa which touched my heart. It was amazing and she looked so grown up. Skywalker also had some very special moments also. The most special moment of the service was walking out to the Honored Guard. They saluted me and my siblings as we walked out of the service. That honor to my Dad touched me greatly. I felt like a very proud daughter. Master Anakin took over 250 pictures. I wish I could share some with you but I can't due to privacy. I did put many of the pictures up on my Facebook account though. This picture I put up today was taken on the day of the burial. It moves me... I can't believe that it's all over. How does one move on from this? How does one return to normal when my life has been forever affected? It feels like I have completely changed from this experience. It's been a defining moment which has changed me. I miss my Dad so much....it hurts so much... When will my force be strong again? May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala