The Candycane chapter

It's been a really difficult week for me. We had to tell our kids some very difficult news last night about their Grandma. Master's Mom is very sick with terminal cancer and that was hard to tell our kids. My heart broke and I feel very emotional with seeing my kids hurting. My son is drawing a picture right now for his Grandma to make her feel better. It's been a difficult week for several reasons. My life is changing fast. I feel like a new chapter is starting in my life. I found out some really exciting news today. It gave me a smile when I didn't think that anything would. My old friend, C (Master used to call her Candycane) is pregnant with her 4th child!! She wanted to share that piece of good news with me. Candycane and I were best friends in high school (BFF's) and during our early 20's. We have a hell of a history together. *Really* wild times!! Candycane was reckless and crazy. She tried to run over boyfriend when she found out he cheated on her. I was in the car and seriously thought she was going to kill him. There were really WILD parties in our 20's!! We spent a lot of weekends together drinking Bacardi Rum and cokes. We moved closer to her and her ex husband back in 2001. I would go over and spend the night at her and her husband's house. They had an air mattress and we would get hammered and sometimes some very sexual things would happen. There was plenty of kissing with C and making out for the boys. (Master Anakin and her husband) I had a real serious crush on her brother. Boy that guy was a total hottie! I always hoped I might wind up in the sack with him one day. It is too bad I wasn't blogging during that year. I would have been able to write some really fun adventurous blog posts for you. One night was particularly wild. A threesome almost happened. C and I were doing shots and then the dirty dancing started. We were bad to the bone. Very, very naughty girls. Kissing and hands were going everywhere. Her husband watched us and got hard. Then he started fucking her right in front of me. *whew* That night was crazy. The next day we both went on a date to see her lover. I could never understand how she was able to keep 2 affairs going as well as a marriage. Eventually it caught up to Candycane and the "perfect marriage" (she used to say to me that she had the perfect marriage) ended in total destruction. Her husband packed up his bags one night and left her. Her husband and her had a pretty messy divorce. I couldn't handle the drama. The parties were out of control. I had to eventually walk away from the friendship because it felt like things were out of control. I had gained 20 pounds and the partying was starting to take over my life. I didn't talk to Candycane until recently. She e-mailed me just after my Dad passed away. Her Dad died in a tragic accident and she wanted to pass along her condolences. E-mails were exchanged and we've gotten back in touch with one another. She has been really supportive of me during difficult times recently. Her Grandma is not doing very well and either is mine. We've been leaning on each other a lot. I was really happy to hear her good news today. She's been talking about having a coffee together sometime soon. Maybe it's time to see her again. I think our lives have changed a lot. We've both gone through some very challenging things in our lives. It tends to bond two people together. I think we both toned down the partying. Don't get me wrong. I still like to party once in a while but it's not all the time like it was when I was younger. We are both in our 30's and have moved on from that chapter of our lives with the partying. I am glad for the memories but am happy that we are able to be there for each other during difficult times recently. I feel like I owe Candycane a lot. She was the one who encouraged me to tell Master my feelings. She saw that we were soulmates. She believed in our love. She supported me during our affair when a lot of other people turned their backs on us. She has shown me a lot of support during the most difficult times of my life...problems in my pregnancies, miscarriages, my divorce, my car accident, deaths, and many other things. She encouraged me to pursue my dreams of a life with Master. I'm very grateful for that. Who knows where my life would be right now if that had not happened. She is now married to her one lover. It's kind of interesting that I am also married to my lover also. Master Anakin was the other man in my first marriage. Who would have thought that her and I would have wound up divorced and remarried to our lovers? Strange. I believe Candycane and I will be friends until the end. We may sometimes have a bend in the fork of our friendship but we always wind up back together again. It's funny how some friendships are like that. They are meant to be forever. It's amazing to me that it's been almost 20 years since I was in high school. What happened to those wild crazy years? I wouldn't trade them for the world though. They are a big part of my history. I have been doing a lot of reflecting about the past lately and also life. Maybe this is a midlife crisis. Maybe it's due to the events of 2009 so far. I lost 3 Aunts. One of them committed suicide. Then I lost my Dad very suddenly. Then I found out my Mother-in-law had terminal cancer. My Grandma isn't doing very well either. This year has been challenging and nothing has worked out the way I thought it would. I had no idea that my old friend, Candycane would come back into my life after we were apart for so many years. I just want this year to be over. I need something to look forward to. I have many dreams and I wonder if I will be able to reach them. The journey is a dark one sometimes but there is always light at the end of the tunnel. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala