Another loss in 2009

Yesterday started out really good. Master was home from work and we spent the day playing together and having some fantastic sex and lots of orgasms. I don't think I left my bedroom much other than to eat and twitter once or twice. It was exactly what I needed to relieve some holiday stress and reconnect with Master Anakin. We took some pictures during our play and I hope to post one of those sometime soon. We had some pizza hut for dinner and planned to watch Christmas movies with the kids. We got a nice surprise about sitting with our kids so we have a lot of free time today to spend together. It was all going very well until I got a phone call from my Grandma. I could tell something was wrong when I heard her voice. She almost didn't want to tell me the bad news. I expected that it was maybe about my one Uncle as he's a hardcore drug addict and had a lot of mental problems through the years. I was pretty shocked when she told me it was her other son and he had passed away very suddenly. He was only 55 years old!! I was blown away. He's pretty young and had no health issues and they had to do an autopsy to figure out what went wrong. It turns out that he had heart problems. I felt horrible for my Grandma and had a loss for words. What do you say to the woman who's had to bury TWO sons in the last six months?? She also lost another son in the 1970's. She had 5 sons and now she only has 2 left!! I'm really worried about my Grandma. I'm not sure how she is going to cope with this. She's had her own health problems and I feel this might be enough to push her over the edge. I also think it's terrible that this happened right before the holidays when our family was dealing with so much loss as it was. This is the 4th member of my Dad's family (including him) who has passed away this year. I find it a bit ironic that both brothers died suddenly of a heart attack only months apart. I know that this would have crushed my Dad if he was alive right now and was told this news. I wasn't as close to this Uncle but we did spend a lot of family picnics and holidays together when I was growing up as a child. I feel very sad though. He has two daughters and I know what it's like to lose a Dad so suddenly and they have lost him right before Christmas. The funeral is on Tuesday and I will not be able to go to the munch that I normally host. I will support my Grandma through this and I really hope that she is ok. I can't imagine what that would be like to lose your kids before you've passed away and have to struggle with something like that. I can't help but also wonder about my own health through all of this. It seems like many members of my family have died from heart problems. Almost all my biological grandparents died from heart atttacks and now my Dad and his members of his family. I wonder what this means about my own heart and if that might be an issue for me when I'm older. This also makes you realize how short life is. How precious it is and how easily you can lose a parent or Uncle or Aunt. 2009 has been a horrible year for loss. I found out exactly one week ago that my cat had died suddenly also. I was thinking this morning that nothing positive has happened in our family. No births or pregnancies or weddings. 2009 has been nothing but loss. I will admit that this has made me think about life a lot lately. I've been doing a lot of thinking about perhaps getting a new pet or even wondering when my sister might decide to have a child. I would love for something positive to happen instead of getting another phone call that someone else has passed away. I really hope that 2010 will be a better year for me and my family. I am looking ahead and hoping that things will get better. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala