TGIF! A weekend of being Darth Vader's slave

TGIF!! It has been a long and rough week with many different things going on. A few doors have closed. Some have opened. I feel there are lot of possibilities on the horizon. Someone from my past has come back into my life. I am taking it slow and riding the waves and seeing where it takes me. I am often quick to jump into things but I noticed that I'm trying to going a lot slower than normal. He wanted to get together and fuck and get right back into a relationship again. I want to wait and see if we can make it work first. We'll see what happens... There has been a lot of emotions boiling away inside of me this week. I've felt sad and hurt. I've felt horny and submissive. I've felt insecure and vulnerable. I've felt need and want. My emotions seem to go up and down and I don't know what to expect next. Master Anakin is home today and the kids are going to be in school. We have plans to play today. This is the first time in two weeks (since Valentine's day) that we will be able to play together. We didn't play last weekend due to my brand healing and I was busy at different events. (Dirty Girls and Rascal's) I promised Master that my sole focus for this weekend would be him. My thoughts and emotions would be all about him. Serving and submitting and being His slutty slave. I have been told that I'm going to be spanked today and that he has some special plans for me this weekend. I need this so bad. I want to play with Darth Vader and go to the darkside with him. I am itching for a spanking and I am craving some rough play with my Master. He always knows just where to take me and how to make me cum over and over again until my legs are shaking and I feel weak from all the orgasms. I will be having limited access to the computer this weekend. I have been told that he will be monitoring everything. He plans to give me very strict control. I can't wait to focus on him and get into my slave role and just submit and try to make him happy. I've missed our force and I think this will be wonderful for both of us. I hope that I will be able to cross something off my bucket list this weekend too! I plan to blog about it all on Monday! I saw this meme on Jennifer's blog and wanted to give it a try: Sex Questions Answered 1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with? Yes. There is a few! :) 2. Sex in the morning, afternoon, or night? Sex is great anytime! Morning, afternoon or night is great with me! 3. What side of the bed do you sleep on? Right. 4. Do you masturbate? Silly question! I masturbate all the time and I blog about it here at Journey to the Darkside. *winks* 5. How often? I masturbate a few times a week at the very least 6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money? No 7. Do you prefer showers or baths? Baths, especially hot bubble baths with candles, Lush, and soft music. 8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath? Yes, a few times :) 9. Do you watch/read pornography? Yes, I do. I love porn! 10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed? What do you think? lol. Obviously I like someone aggressive in bed. I am married to Darth Vader! *smiles* 11. Would you choose love or money? Love! 12. Your top three favorite kinks in bed? 1. spanking 2. bondage 3. rough sex 13. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually? Yes 14. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex? Waikiki Beach in Hawaii. Also Harrison Hot Springs on the beach when I was on my honeymoon. 15. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex? Out in a deserted cabin in Loon Lake during a family trip a few years ago. It was kind of creepy and I kept thinking Jason from the Friday the 13th movies was going to sneak up on us. 16. Have you ever been caught having sex? Yup! I have a few stories to tell about getting caught having sex. Especially the one day the in-laws showed up and surprised us and we were right in the middle of fucking. 17. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yes. Many times especially to Mugs and Jugs in New West. I used to go there all the time back in the club days. 18. Ever been to a bar just to get sex? Yes. I have gone to the bar (clubs) to find sex. 19. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons? No. I was almost kicked out during a fight once though. 20. Ever been picked up in a bar? Many times. 21. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex? Many times! I've slept with two women but the list is endless of how many women I've kissed through the years. I kissed 5 women just last weekend! :) 22. What's your sexuality? Bisexual 21. Had sex in a movie theater? No but I've flashed my tits in the movie theater and also made out in a few. 22. Had sex in a bathroom? No. But I've masturbated a lot in different bathrooms. 23. Have you ever had sex at work? Yes. Years ago when I worked retail. 24. Have you ever been in an "adult" store? Yes. Many times and many different adult stores. 25. Bought something from an adult store? I've bought lots of toys and sexy things from adult stores. 26. Do you own any sex toys? Yes. Lots! 27. If yes, what are they? There is way too many to count! 28. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film? Lots of people have naughty pictures of me. A few people have me on film too. 29. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name? Yes a long time ago. 30. Have you ever had phone sex? Yes. Lots of times. 31. Have you ever had cyber sex? Yes. Lots of times. 32. What's your favorite sexual position? Doggy style where he is riding me by pulling on my hair. 33. What's your favorite sex act? having orgasms. 34. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time? Yes. Many times. I can't wait to play with Darth Vader this weekend... May the force be with you always!! ~padme amidala

Happy HNT - I'm a dirty schoolgirl

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) everyone! Master has asked me to put up the HNT picture this week. He's busy with work but he did get a chance this morning to do some photoshopping on a picture so we could put up a sexy new one for everyone to see. I love this picture! It seems innocent but also naughty at the same time. I'm dressed up in my naughty schoolgirl outfit and shoes. I have my hands on my hips like I'm a very sassy brat full of attitude. I look like I need a spanking! What do you think I deserve for being a dirty naughty schoolgirl? Should I get the strap? Or perhaps a paddle across my ass? Master photoshopped it so it looks like I'm in a classroom. I've got "I am a dirty girl" written on the chalkboard with doing lines because I was a very bad girl. I was a very dirty girl last weekend when I went to the Dirty Girls party at Libido Lounge. I'm a dirty girl and I'm proud of it! :) Please leave us a comment. We always love to hear from you. Master and I really appreciate all the comments and I know he's very proud of the work he does on our pictures. Master is very creative and has done lots of unique things with our pictures. I know we wouldn't be doing HNT for our third year if he wasn't enjoying it so much. He loves to take erotic pictures and then will try to think up different photoshopping styles to make it more interesting. It's been a really tough week for me so far. The last few days have drained me emotionally. I have broken up with Shiro and we had some e-mails go back and forth. I wasn't sure we could keep the friendship but he phoned me this morning and reassured me. I'm not sure if we'll be able to keep the friendship. I'd like to hope so but who knows. I have only been able to stay friends with a few ex's through the years including my ex husband. We have a child together so that is why we kept our friendship. I hope Shiro can still be a part of my life as I would miss him a lot if he wasn't. I've gotten into several e-mail wars the last few days. Jake was sending me several e-mails and some of them really frustrated and upset me. He put me down in a few of the e-mails. He just didn't seem to want to listen to what I was trying to tell him. No expectations means no expectations. Master Anakin read his e-mails and decided that I should cut off contact with Jake. It's upsetting me too much. I didn't get much sleep last night and got very emotional today. I have played with a lot of people through the years but Jake is the first one that I have been forbidden from ever playing with again. I know my Master does not trust him. The chapter with Jake is now closed. I am going to throw myself into some cooking and cleaning and doing my chores for Master. I am going the slow cooker today and I am going to try to get some cleaning done. I want to curl up in my blanket and not do anything today but I know that will just make it worse with my depression. I need to keep busy right now. Master is home on Friday and I want the place to be clean for our long weekend together. We have special plans together and I can't wait to spend some alone time with him. I really miss playing with Darth Vader. Please check out Osbasso's blog if you are interested in the HNT series. We also put up a poll on our sidebar and hope you will vote! We are wondering what your favorite spanking impliment is. Please vote and leave us a comment about it. We'd love to hear about it! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Breaking up is hard to do

I've had some pretty big changes in my life in the last 48 hours. There has been some big talks with Master and also my best friend, Shasta. Shasta and I talked for 3 hours yesterday! I'm surprised our phones didn't die. I know that I can always count on Master and Shasta. They are the two people in my life that I am the closest to. They both know me very well and accept me for the way that I am. I appreciate that both of them love me and support me unconditionally. I am grateful that I can turn to them and get great advice from them both. I hope they both know how much they mean to me. Shasta said some things to me on the phone which made me do some thinking. I knew she was right about the things that I talked to her about. She knows me very well after all these years of friendship. I talked to Master when he got home from work. I was feeling very stressed out and knew that I had to make some changes. I talked to him first about Jake and his e-mails. I got several e-mails from Jake yesterday which totally stressed me out. Jake just doesn't seem to want to listen. I had agreed to go to LB's play party on Friday night with him for a second date. I wanted to go slowly though and told him that I didn't want there to be any expectations. He went over my boundaries and limits the first time we played. Some of the play was exciting but some was very scary! I really didn't know if I could trust him again. Several people expressed worry about playing with him again. The "no expectations" turned into him using a single tail on me and him putting me into subspace and also "scream girl". He seemed to have lots of expectations of what would be happening on Friday night. I told him I wanted to keep it simple. No expectations means NO EXPECTATIONS!! Why do some Doms not get that? It is very simple. Him and I go for dinner together and then drive to the party together. We go to the party with no expectations to play. This is a huge compliant that I have. I have had several Doms who think that me agreeing to go to an event together means that you automatically have to play with them. Sometimes I'm not in the mood to play. Sometimes I am wanting to just socialize. As Shasta says "expectations lead to disappointment". Shiro clearly looked disappointed at Rascal's when I wouldn't play with him. I felt a lot of pressure. I also felt major pressure from Jake. Master read the e-mails from Jake and decided that I wouldn't be going to the party with him. He didn't seem to want to listen and wouldn't play by the rules. I won't be playing with Jake again. That chapter is closed and Master has forbidden me from ever playing with Jake again. Jake and I weren't really in a relationship but it still feels like a bit of a break-up. I'm disappointed that things didn't work out. I wish Jake would have listened better. I also talked to Master about Shiro. I havn't been very happy in my relationship with him for a few weeks. Shiro and I have been fighting and I have felt great disance between us lately. I knew in my heart that it wasn't working out. I had tried to make it work because I love Shiro. There are real feelings there. I think he's a sweet and nice man. I enjoy the friendship part with him. It just isn't working out with him being my other Dom. I am juggling two Doms and it's wearing me out. My focus and mind has been on Shiro a lot the last few weeks. It's drained me and I knew it was coming to an end. I considered breaking up on Saturday but I didn't want to ruin our night at Rascal's. I had meant to sit down and do it over dinner so I could talk to him. I just couldn't do it. I knew yesterday that I needed to tell him how I was feeling. He was very civil about the breakup and also realized that it hasn't worked out very well between us. He also told me he'd like to be friends. I really hope we are able to do that. I don't want our breakup to turn into what has happened between Daemon and I. I really care about Shiro and hope we can be friends. I will always care about Shiro. I know we'll be seeing each other at different events. I'm feeling very sad about it. Breaking up is hard to do. I am planning to spend my weekend with Master and getting my focus back on him and our family. There is also a woman (girl li) who I am very interested in. I am not giving up on the poly. I don't think I am looking to have another Dom though other than Master Anakin. Juggling two Doms has been way too difficult and I'd like Master to be my one and only Dom right now. Of course I may play casually and have someone Dom me for casual play but it wouldn't be in a relationship. It's way too much work. There are some really big changes happening in my life right now. Change can be scary. I feel a lot more vulnerable right now and fragile. I want to have my Daddy take care of me and take me under his wing. I look forward to getting our force back on track and finding the magic again with Darth Vader. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

A fun and wild night at Rascal's

I posted part 1 - "My first dirty girls party at Libido Lounge" yesterday. I wanted to write part 2 before I forgot some of the details. It's a yucky kind of Monday anyways and I have time to write. It's been hard coming down from the weekend. I had two very wild and late nights. It wore me out. I slept 11 hours last night and I'm still very tired. I feel a bit of a crash happening. Some drama also happened this weekend which wore me out. Is there anything worse than e-mail wars? I much prefer Star Wars over e-mail wars any day!! Here's part 2 to my weekend fun: Part 2 - A fun and wild night at Rascal's I woke up late on Saturday at 11 am. I was feeling very tired and also sore from the play at the Dirty Girls party at libido lounge. My arthritis was also acting up. Master dropped off Skywalker and came back with lunch for me. We were able to have a quick fuck and he gave me an orgasm before leaving to head to the skytrain. He was concerned about my branding. It's still healing and a piece of it had come off on Friday night during my spanking play with the women. He told me that he didn't want me to play. I was also having problems with my arthritis and he was worried about that too. I felt relieved because I really didn't feel up to bottoming. I don't do well when I am playing so much in a weekend. I did want to go to Rascal's to socialize though and see everyone. I headed on the skytrain down to Commercial skytrain. I went early so I could enjoy a large coffee and snack at A&W. It was really weird in there. One guy was yelling at the staff and swearing. I almost wondered if the cops were going to get called. There has been a lot of shootings recently around the Vancouver area and I'm a lot more cautious when I'm out now. I met Shiro at 4:30 pm. He was on time and we headed down to Woman's Ware on Commercial Drive. It's an adult store and I was able to get a few goodies. I bought some Sweet Almond Oil from Kama Sutra, natural lubricant, and a weekender kit from Kama Sutra. Shiro bought a beautiful necklace for me that was a heart with a little eye on it. I was very surprised and happy. Thank you Shiro! We headed up to a Caribbean Restaurant up the street. The menu was a bit confusing for me and I wasn't too impressed with the food to be honest. I didn't eat much of my dinner. I was expecting a fish and chips type of thing and it was very different. The music was also very loud and I had a hard time hearing Shiro sometimes. We had a good talk. The dessert was very good there. We headed out to Rascal's afterwords. We got there a bit early which was good because we were able to get a seat. It was getting very crowded. People were there to check out a body suspension scene that was happening with someone called Elwood who is well known in the bdsm lifestyle. I plan to see him when I get my piercing done. "hint hint Master Anakin" My friend, Doc (you can read her blog post about the night on her blog) arrived around 8 pm. It was her first time going to Rascal's. I wanted to make it a special night for her. I was really happy to see her. We went into the bathroom and got changed for our night. I wore my sexy red corset (given to me from my friend, Katt) and black PVC skirt and fishnets and black lace panties. Doc was wearing a really adorable schoolgirl outfit. She looked totally sexy and cute!! We got some drinks and had a great talk. We both had a few vodka 7's that night. LOL! I'm sure everyone is shocked to hear that I was into the vodka. It always brings out little miss dangerous! Shiro seemed a bit worried about me drinking the vodka. Who can blame him after what happened during our threesome which didn't happen because I got sick off the Russian Vodka. I tried to pace myself though. We saw many friends there and enjoyed some time talking. I watched a body suspension scene going on with Elwood. It was pretty awesome to see him floating through the air with big hooks in his back. I get to cross something else off my bucket list! #602 -See someone demonstrate or do body suspension I got to cross off 7 different things off my bucket list this weekend! Woot! :) I noticed someone arrive at Rascal's just after Elwood's performance. There is a woman that I have been interested in and we've exchanged some flirty e-mails back and forth. I decided to go over and talk to her. She was with her friends at the time. I didn't expect anything to happen. She had told me that she preferred private play rather than out in public. I got a very pleasant surprise when some moves were made and suddenly we were kissing and making out and there was touching and feeling going on. MMmmmm...she was so sensual and beautiful and I kept looking into her eyes. She seemed shy but also naughty too. I really enjoyed our time together. I walked her to the door when she was leaving with her friends. I got to see her tit and give it a quick lick and small bite before she left. I was feeling very happy and very, very wet. I went over to Shiro and told him how wet I was. He inspected by putting his fingers up my skirt and felt for himself. He seemed to agree that I was indeed quite wet. Mmm....little miss dangerous was out! Shiro seemed very anxious to play and I felt a lot of pressure at one point to go play with him. I understand he missed playing with me but I wasn't in the mood to bottom and my Master had told me not to. You could tell that Shiro really wanted to play though. He kept asking Doc if she was interested in playing. She told him several times it was ok to spank her. I was nervous but very excited about topping her when she agreed it would be ok for me to join the scene between her and Shiro. I've never Topped before and I had no idea what it would be like. Shiro put the play collar on and leash and lead her into the dungeon area. She was bound to the rack and we put a blindfold on her. We lifted her schoolgirl skirt and started to spank her. She had such a spankable ass! Mmm...I really started to get into the play and tried to add a lot of softness to it. She mentioned in her blog post "She managed to add the sensual and soft touches that made it a lovely and relaxing scene." I tried my best to touch her a lot and rub her body. I kissed her soft lips and reassured her and tried to talk to her a lot through the play. Shiro didn't do much with the sensation play. I know I've wished sometimes he would slow down and talk to me during the play more and do more touching and feeling. I tried to stop him a few times and be soft with Doc. I found myself getting very protective of her a few times. She mentioned in her post that Shiro missed a few hits and hit her on the tailbone. I noticed it and tried to get him to slow down a bit. I will admit it was hard to Top with Shiro there. He didn't want to share the scene sometimes. I found out he has never done a scene with anyone before so that's proably why. I had a hard time getting in sync with him during the flogging and some parts of the play. I even got hit a few times when I tried to touch her while she was getting hit. I tried to rub Doc's bottom a lot and make her feel subspace through sensation play. I bit her ass with play bites and I touched her all over. I could smell her pussy with her legs spread and panties down. I noticed how wet she was during some of the play. Mmmm....she was so much fun to play with! She has a soft and sensual body and is so beautiful and was fun to Top. I felt very protective of Doc and I wanted to take care of her. I had no idea that I had a Domme side until Saturday. I got into my Top role and started to take care of her. I made sure to give lots of aftercare. She laid her head on my shoulder and I stroked her hair and told her what a good girl she is. I wanted her to feel safe and know that I was there for her. I loved that part of the evening. It was so sweet and sensual and I have never had those kinds of feelings for a woman before. I wanted to hand her a teddy bear and wrap her in my arms. I wish I had brought my teddy bear to Rascal's. :) My black panties were missing at one point. I had left them in the play area. I had taken them off at one point because they had soaked right through. Mmmm...I was a very horny girl on Saturday night! Shiro cleaned up while I gave her aftercare. Anakin and I gave her a ride home. She mentioned taking the bus but I was too worried about her. She was clearly in subspace and seemed tired. I gave her a kiss and hug goodnight. I really enjoyed playing with Doc and hope we can do it again. I was really glad to discover another side of myself this weekend because of her. I really enjoyed the experience of being on Top for the first time with her. *smiles* I hope I have the chance to play with her again sometime. Maybe she would be interested in just playing with me alone? I would love some girl/girl time with her. I would really enjoy doing sensation play with her again. :) May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

My first Dirty Girls party at Libido Lounge

I've had the most incredible weekend so far!! I still feel like I must have been dreaming. Did I really go to a Dirty Girls party at the libido lounge? Was I really spanked/flogged/paddled by three woman and then given a g spot orgasm with my Rabbit vibrator? Did I really kiss 3 women that night? Did I really go to Rascal's with Shiro and play with him and my friend, baby girl? Did I really kiss 5 women this weekend? Did I really get to Top a woman for the first time? Did that really happen? It feels like a dream. I'm still floating around on cloud nine from it all! I am able to cross several things off my bucket list. I plan to write two parts for the blog posts about the weekend. Part 1 is the Dirty Girls party on Friday. I plan to write part 2 - My wild night at Rascal's will be posted in the next few days so stay tuned for all the juicy details! Here's part 1: My first Dirty Girls party at Libido Lounge I spent most of Friday trying to decide whether or not to go to the Dirty Girls party at the libido lounge. I wanted to but I was worried and nervous. I finally decided around 5 pm that I would go. Master gave me permission and offered to give me a ride there and home. He told me to go and enjoy myself. I packed my bag with a sexy outfit (lingerie from Love Nest at Christmas, white sexy feather boa, black thigh-hi's with red bows, and black panties. I had gotten my hair cut and dyed and I was feeling very sexy and ready for play. I looked through my toys and decided to bring my leather paddle and suede flogger and also my new Rabbit vibrator that I bought at the Taboo Sex show in January. I had a shower and got ready and then we headed out to the Libido Lounge. I was so nervous that I almost asked Master to turn around and go home. It was a really big deal to walk into the Dirty Girls party by myself. I like to usually have people to go with to events. I had no idea what to expect. My tummy was full of butterflies. I walked in and several women were already dressed up for the party. Some women were practically nude. It had a great mood going. Low lighting and candles, music going, fun and playful energy and lots of women who looked ready to explore some play with other women. I got to cross a few things off my bucket list by going to the Dirty Girls party. They are: #598 -Go to a Dirty Girls party at the libido lounge #537 -Attend my first libido lounge event (not the orientation) #561 -Go to a girl's only type of event It's been a very long time since I kissed another woman or even played with one. I admit I was scared. I wasn't sure another woman would even want to play with me. I admit that I was very shy at first and it took me a while to warm up for the party. There was a workshop between 8-9 pm about how to pick up women. Jennifer (the host for Libido Lounge events) did a great job with the workshop and got everyone talking about their different experiences with women. The play party started at 9 and the women started getting comfortable with each other pretty fast. One woman brought out a bunch of vibrators and got another woman to spread her legs and started giving her orgasms. That was so hot watching that woman cum and squirm around. I showed another woman my toys and then I decided to go into the other room to see what was going on. There were some women riding the Sybian and monkey rocker. I thought about going for a ride but I never got the opportunity. I saw one woman laying down with her legs spread. The other woman was trying to give her a g spot orgasm. I went over to the girl's nipple and started to touch. There was another woman who joined in the fun and started to lick and pinch and play with the other nipple. The 3 of us were trying to get her to cum. I got to lean over and give her a kiss on her soft lips. Mmm...it was so hot to watch her expressions as we played with her. That was a very erotic moment. I went into the other room and got an offer. One woman offered to give me a spanking. We got out my toys and a few of her own. I saw the sex swing and wanted to give it a try first. So I went over and tried it out. I've never tried a sex swing and that was also on my bucket list! #131 -Try out a sex swing A Mistress at the party came over and wanted to play with me. She was so cute and pretty. I had been looking over at her a few times through the workshop and had wanted to play with her. I was really glad when she came over with her toys and decided to do a spanking scene with the other woman. I was in the sex swing and the Mistress was hitting me in my inner thigh's. I still have a few bruises from it today! The other woman was laying on the ground below me and paddling my ass with a big wooden spoon and a few other impliments. I was squirming and squealing and enjoying the girl attention. MMmmmm...very, very fun play in the sex swing! I get to cross something off my list by playing with a Domme. #599 -Play with a Mistress/Domme (get a spanking or play with one) I got out of the sex swing but they weren't done with me yet. I was told to get on top of the cage. There was an area for me to lay out on and I had 3 different woman that were spanking me, flogging me, paddling me, rubbing me, touching me, kissing me...so many different things. It was also on my bucket list to get spanked by more than 2 people. #521 -Get spanked by more than 2 people at the same time At one point my Rabbit vibrator appeared and my panties came off. I was completely naked in front of the room full of women. I was a bit nervous but decided to just go with the moment and enjoy! I spread my legs and the one woman fucked my pussy with the rabbit. Another one was kissing me. One was licking and squeezing my nipple. It felt SO fucking good! Fuck I was turned on. I started to moan and got into the play. I was lost in subspace and so aroused and I came HUGE. It was a g spot orgasm. I screamed very loud when I came. I am sure everyone heard me loud and clear!! I left a wet spot which the woman helped me to clean up afterwords. The Mistress (Mistress Nyne on Fetlife) wrote about this experience in her Dirty Girls post on Fetlife. I have asked her permission to use her quote so you can hear it from her perspective from that experience that night. "Upon my return, another lady had taken interest in the sex swing. She had never been in one before, and it was also her first time to the event itself. I took it upon myself to show the lady how to seat herself comfortably in the sex swing and helped her place her feet in the stir-ups. She was instantly euphoric, and rightfully so. There's really nothing else like it." "It was at this time that it occurred to me that this lady had been plotting a spanking scene with another woman. I of course encouraged her to maintain herself in the sex swing for at least part of the duration of her spanking, and so it began with the other woman on the floor underneath her pulling out a handful of paddles. I too was handed a paddle as the giggling, swinging lady received her first round of swats to her bottom. I chose a dark wooden paddle of minimal weight and thickness while the wooden spoon made delightful sounds from beneath. I admit that I was not the nicest person in the room at the time, but the sounds of her giggles and gleeful shrieks indicated to me that there was no problem there at all." "I slapped her inner thighs to a delightful red with the paddle while her bottom was tainted pink with the wooden spoon and another thicker paddle that had circular etchings all over one side. At some point as I suppose is perfectly natural, the lady asked to be let out of the swing, and we obliged. Of course, we weren't quite done with her yet, so we coaxed her up on top of a cage which was padded with removable cushions, and begun swinging at her wiggling bum." "She teased, she screamed with delight, she wiggled, she moaned, and she was spectacular fun to paddle. Then I was offered a flogger which I immediately recognized as the product of a good friend and expert leather craftsman, and I delighted in wielding its full force on her back and bum, in tandem with the floggings she received from the other woman who, having noted the color of her implement remarked "It's pink. It can't possibly hurt!"--I think the lady's screams, giggles, moans, and wiggles suggested otherwise. I handed a paddle to the flirtacious companion of the previous woman, and she took up the cause with enthusiasm." "Out of nowhere, a red rabbit vibrator appeared, and after figuring out how to turn it on to the function I wanted, I told the lady on the cage to hold it tight between her thighs. We continued to give her lashings all up and down her back while the vibe pulsed and teased her. When it seemed both rational and natural, she turned over and we began teasing her tits and spanking her pussy over her panties. I took her breast into my mouth and swirled my tongue around her engorging nipple, paddled her other breast and her mons. The paddle was perfectly shaped for each particular instant of pleasure." "It became apparent that she needed to remove her panties, and I lubed up her toy and put the "clit crack" on her. The other woman turned on the toy and started moving it in and out, up and into her g-spot while the lower half of the toy buzzed all over her excited clitoris. Her moans filled the air as she started gyrating all over her toy. The flirtacious companion played with and massaged one breast while I sucked, licked, and massaged the other as her moans quickly developed into the familiar cries of a climax from the g-spot. She looked down at herself and then laid her head back, and I put my hands in her hair, lightly pulling and leaned in for a kiss. She tasted wonderfully sweet and she produced a voluminous orgasm. It was well worth the effort, and she radiated sex for the remainder of the evening." I watched a few different scenes including some rope bondage and a single tail being used on a woman on the spanking bench. I enjoyed some conversation with the sexy ladies and a wonderful time being almost naked and feeling content and very happy after a wonderful evening. The Dirty Girls party was SO much fun! I want to go to another one again! There was a very special moment at the end of the party. There was a woman there that I thought was beautiful and so sexy. I was really happy when she reached over and gave me a kiss goodnight. I floated on cloud nine all the way to the car to meet Master. That lingering kiss was on my lips for the rest of the night. I felt myself touching my lips and thinking of her. Mmmm....what a night!!!!! What an incredible experience. I love to be a dirty girl!! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

I'm a dirty girl this weekend

I am going to my first libido lounge event tonight! I am planning on going to the dirty girl's party at the libido lounge tonight. It's an all girl's party and I've heard the girls can get pretty dirty there. I am feeling so nervous that I can feel butterflies in my tummy. I have no idea what to expect. I just know it's been a very long time since I got naughty with another woman. I don't know if I will know what to do if a woman hits on me or even wants to play with me. lol! I buried my bisexual feelings so deep the last few years that I forget what it's like to even flirt with a woman. There is a woman who's come into my life recently and given me a lot to smile about. It's been a very long time since another woman took an interest in me. She told me that I turn her on. That is a huge compliment and was wonderful to know that I still have the magic touch with women. She was on my mind yesterday with e-mails that we were writing to each other. I even asked permission to use my Hitatchi so I could masturbate and I thought about her when I did. It's been WAY too long since I fantasized about another woman. Mmmmm....the naughty possibilities are there and it's very arousing. We are taking it slow though and getting to know each other and seeing what happens. She plans to be at Rascal's tommorow and I'm looking forward to seeing her there. I'm also planning to meet Shiro for dinner and some shopping at an adult store. Rascal's is going to be so much fun! I am planning to meet my friend, baby girl also at Rascal's. It's her first time going and she's very excited! I love Rascal's. It is one of my favorite places and always a really fun night. My weekend is going to rock!! Lots of excitement and things to cross off my bucket list! I'm sure I'll be blogging all about it too so stay tuned for all the juicy details about my adventures this weekend! *smiles* :) I got my hair cut short today and dyed it light blonde. I feel so sexy and little miss dangerous is in the mood to play! I better start getting ready for my night with the dirty girls tonight! I can't wait! :) May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Happy HNT - Feather Boa Erotique

Hello and happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) everyone. I hope you enjoy this week's HNT image. I personally LOVE black and white photography, and I love taking erotic photographs of My padme. In this week's image, I took a photo of her as she performed a classic strip-tease for me wearing only her sexy white feather boa. Her breasts were so perfectly framed by the feathers I had to take this photograph. I think you can tell from the photograph that she was excited to give Me a show, something I truly enjoyed. This photo reminded me of a classic nude photo from decades ago; erotic yet perhaps a little reserved. My padme looks lovely as ever. I always have to thank her for being such a good model. Remember to click on the image above to enlarge the picture and get a closer look. Please leave us a comment! We love to hear from you. Please check out Osbasso's blog if you are interested in participating in the HNT series. May the Force be with you. ~Anakin

Relationship meme

It has been a quiet few days for me since my weekend fun with Master for Valentine's day. Master and Leia were both home sick yesterday and we watched a movie and spent some time together. I had some really bad insomnia last night and didn't sleep very well so I'm drinking lots of coffee today. It looks like a quiet and lonely kind of day today so I have made some plans for myself to keep busy. I did my chores early so I could have the time to watch a movie (Nights in Rodanthe) this morning from shaw on demand. It's a chick flick so I don't think Master would be interested in seeing it. I am looking forward to this weekend. I have some plans with Shiro. I am meeting him for dinner on Saturday night and also shopping at an adult store before heading to Rascal's! I havn't been to Rascal's since December and am really looking forward to seeing Shiro again and my friends. There is a body suspension scene happening that night too and I'm curious about that. I am hoping Shiro feels better because he's been sick too lately. It would be nice to have a chance to play together if it all works out. It should be a fun weekend! I saw this meme on a blog this morning and wanted to give it a try. It's a relationship meme and looked fun to try. Let me know if you try it and I'll come check out your answers to it. 1. Who eats more? Master does. He tends to snack a lot more than I do so he often eats more than I do during the day and night. 2. Who said “I love you” first? I did. I can remember how difficult it was to sit Master down and tell him about my feelings for him. I told him that I was in love with him and he was pretty shocked at that time because I was married at the time and he had no idea that I felt that way about him. I can't remember if either one of us said "I love you" when we dated in 1991. That was way too far back. lol! 3. Who is the morning person? Master is. He is up at 5 am each morning and he is often more awake in the morning and doing better than I am when I'm up at 7 am. 4. Who sings better? He does. I have heard him sing a few times (including on our wedding day) and he has a great voice and sings really nice. 5. Who’s older? He is. He is 7 years older than I am. He's a mean old man! :) 6. Who’s smarter? Master is. He has more education than I do and is very smart when it comes to the computer or Math or Science and that. I used to "borrow" his answers in class because I knew he was the smartest one in our class. 7. Who’s temper is worse? I do. I think we both have a pretty good temper although Master is able to control his more than I am. My temper can be really bad sometimes. 8. Who does the laundry? I do. That's my job and I don't mind doing the laundry for our family. 9. Who does the dishes? I do. That is also my job. I'm a house slave and those duties fall under my responsibility. 10. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? I do. 11. Who’s feet are bigger? Master's feet are much bigger than mine. 12. Who’s hair is longer? Mine. I've got long blonde hair and his hair is very short. 13. Who’s better with the computer? Master is. He is way better with the computer than I am. I am often calling him at work or asking for help when I am having computer problems. 14. Do you have pets? Yes. We have one furry cat who we spoil and the family loves. She now has her own Facebook profile! LOL! 15. Who pays the bills? Master does. He deals with all money matters and that is his responsiblity. 16. Who cooks dinner? I do. That is my responsibility. I usually don't mind cooking unless I'm sick or having a bad day. 17. Who drives when you are together? Master does. I don't have my driver's licence so he does all the driving for our family. 18. Who pays when you go out to dinner? He does. All money matters are up to Master. 19. Who’s the most stubborn? He is! Master is one of the most stubborn men I've ever known. Sometimes it can drive me up the wall when he is so stubborn that he won't admit he's wrong about something. 20. Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong? I do. I find it hard to convince Master sometimes that he is wrong about something. Darth Vader is never wrong you know! *smiles* 21. Who’s family do you see more? Master's. His parent's live 5 minutes away from us and we see them quite often. Most of my family lives far away so I rarely get to see them. 22. Who named your pet? I did. I looked up Russian names on the computer and found her name and Master liked it so we named her that. 23. Who kissed who first? He did. He kissed me at Royal Oak Skytrain Station in 1991 after we had gone out on a date to see Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. He walked me there after we had gone to his house after the movie. I was ready to get on the skytrain and head home and he reached over and kissed me. 24. Who asked who out? I think that he did. I can't really remember to be honest. lol. It was back in 1991 and I think he was the one to ask me out for our movie date. 26. Who’s more sensitive? I am. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I can be very sensitive about things. :) 27. Who’s taller? I am. Master is a bit shorter than I am. 28. Who has more friends? I do. Master doesn't really feel the need for many friends in his life or being social. I love to have friends and a social life and I'm always the one going out to different events and meeting people. 29. Who has more siblings? I do. I have a brother and sister and also a half-brother also who came into my life recently. Master only has one brother. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

A romantic and incredible Valentine's day!

I had the best Valentine's day ever with Master yesterday! I will never forget the incredible day and night that we shared together. My pussy, ass, and nipples are very sore today from all the play and naughty fun! I wanted to write about it while it's still fresh in my mind. We took a lot of pictures and I am sharing a few of them with everyone today. There are many more pictures which I will be sharing through the week including a sexy HNT picture coming up so stay tuned for that! We watched Saw 5 on Friday night for our movie and merlot night. I was feeling very horny because of the orgasm denial. I tried to beg Master for an orgasm but he wouldn't let me. He instead teased me and fingered my clit and got me very excited but denied me. I went to bed feeling frustrated and wet and very horny! What a mean old man! I had a very sexual dream and I'm sure it's because of the state of my arousal all night. I woke up and did a bit of cleaning and getting ready for dropping off Skywalker for his overnight at the Grandparent's place. Leia was gone this weekend at her Dad's. I relaxed while Master dropped Skywalker off and he came back with dessert for our overnight and a few treats and also some beautiful flowers to surprise me for Valentine's day. He can be a mean man but he's also very romantic! :) He told me that we were heading to Fort Langley for the afternoon. He took me out to lunch to the 50's diner there which was very cool. We did some shopping and he spoiled me at the aromatherapy place there. We stopped by IGA so we could pick up some blueberry juice. I have never had any before and it's on my bucket list. We walked around the stores and also went down to the fraser river and enjoyed a park visit there. We went back to our car and then Master told me that we were heading to a winery that I have been wanting to go to. I love going to wineries! I havn't been to any since Niagara on the Lake when I went with my friend, Shasta on a wine tour. I was so excited! We drove up to the Fort Winery and picked up a bottle of blueberry wine and we plan to drink it on our 5 year wedding anniversary in April. I put up a picture today of the winery and I get to cross something off my bucket list. #549 -Go to a new winery that I have not gone to before in B.C. We came back home to get changed for dinner and our night out. We both dressed up. Master looked very sexy and had gotten his haircut. He put on some axe cologne which drove me crazy!! He smelled soooo good and I wanted to fuck him right there and then but he wouldn't let me. I drank the blueberry juice which was very good. I can cross that off my bucket list. #301 -Drink blueberry juice for the first time We got in the car and headed up to Burnaby Mountain to a very fancy restaurant which he had made reservations at. We got there and enjoyed some time before dinner watching the sun set. There is a beautiful view from Burnaby Mountain and you can see downtown Vancouver and the city view. It was a very special and romantic moment as we held each other and kissed while watching the sun set. I can cross something else off my bucket list also. #240 -Watch a sunset again up on Burnaby Mountain Horizons Restaurant on Burnaby Mountain was amazing! The dinner was fantastic and there was a really great view from the window seats we had. Master ordered my dinner for me and also some merlot for me to enjoy. It was romantic and very, very special. We enjoyed some conversation and hand holding and enjoyed the view and food. I felt true happiness in my heart. Master is my soulmate and true love and I really love sharing moments like that with him. We drove down to the Coquitlam casino afterwords for a bit of gambling which was a lot of fun. We were able to gamble on the slot machines for about an hour before we headed home. Master laid out the toys as I got changed into some new sexy lingerie that I got from my friend, Katt. I also put my new Valentine's themed panties on which I bought at Wal Mart on Friday. You can see what they look like in the picture I put up. They fit my ass nicely and Master was very pleased. I put my hair into ponytails and put some makeup on and some perfume. Master got us some dessert and drinks. I was having merlot and he enjoyed a beer. He spoon fed me the cinnamon bun piece by piece. He talked to me about the play and he reminded me of my safeword (Jedi) in case I needed to use it. He told me he would be taking me to the edge and he wanted to make sure I was ready to go to the darkside with him. I was given a quick OTK spanking to warm up my ass and then he got me to get into the over the door bondage. I got it for my birthday and it's very effective for bondage. I put up a picture of the bondage I was in last night. He put on a blindfold so I couldn't see what he was going to do to me. He put the music up loud and I could hear him testing out some toys including the suede flogger we got for Christmas from Shiro. I also heard the crop swishing through the air also. He started flogging me softly and gave me an erotic one to start. He flogged my back and then would work on my ass. I would try to move around during a few hard hits but he got firm with his voice and told me to "stay still". He shoved me against the door at one point and I could feel the hard on through his boxers. I could smell the beer on his breath as he whispered in my ear about how much he wanted to fuck me. He pulled down my panties and lifted up my lingerie so my ass was bare and ready for spanking. He flogged me for a long time and my backside was very red when he picked up the crop and used that on my ass very hard. I got some very nice red stripes from the crop and cried out a few times which Master got stern at one point and told me to "shut the fuck up, bitch". He would crop me harder when I made a sound. He wanted me to be silent for the cropping which was very difficult. He would stop and rub my ass hard and sent me deep into subspace. Then he would use his hand and spank it hard and then use the crop. I couldn't see what he was doing so I never knew what was going to hit my ass. It was red, sore and throbbing by the time he was done. I was also VERY wet!! I could feel wetness running down my legs. He got me to spread my legs at one point and put his finger into my pussy and commented on my wetness and arousal. "You sure like it rough, don't you My slut" he said in his Darth tone. I wanted him BAD!! He got me out of bondage and took off the blindfold and I was a bit disoriented while I took a bathroom break and enjoyed a bit more merlot. I went into the bathroom at one point to redo my makeup. He came up behind me and grabbed me and then put me on the bathroom sink and I noticed a raging hard on from him. He plunged his hard cock into my wet pussy and we started fucking. He slapped me hard and then told me to get into the bedroom and get ready to suck his cock. I got down on my knees and started sucking. At one point he stopped me and went over and grabbed his belt. "Get your fucking ass over that pillow, bitch" he demanded. I noticed the pillow waiting at the end of the bed and got over it and he started to strap my bottom. It was very hard!! I don't remember how many strokes he gave me with his belt. I just remember floating on the endorphin highway and submitting to him at that point. I stopped moving around and even crying out. I took the pain for him and lifted my ass up to greet his belt and make it easier for him. The last few strokes literally took my breath away. He rolled me over and grabbed my throat and looked deep into my eyes. "Do you know who owns you?" he asked me with the most intense look in his eyes. "You do, Master" I said in a very submissive tone. I felt broken at this point. Complete submission for Master. I would have done anything for him. He slapped me again and gave me a few light punches to my tits and also some very intense nipple squeezing. He went to the kitchen at one point and came back with a big knife. I love doing knife play with Master. He made me squirm with using the knife to tease my body. He then told me he was going to give me a small brand and he warmed up the knife and got me to lay on the bed while he made a little star design with the hot knife. It burned and hurt!! He has branded me before and I love to wear his mark. He made sure to clean it after he was done the branding. It's a cute design and I am proud to have his mark on me. He had a very big evil smile when he was done the branding. Then he went over to get the lubricant and flipped me over and put some between my legs. He fucked my pussy first and then I felt his cock at my ass. I got a very rough ass fucking from Master. He would fuck my ass and then stop and pull out. He would spank my ass and then put his cock back in for more fucking. There was hair pulling and lots of whispers in my ear about how much I needed an ass fucking from Master. I needed to cum at one point and he knew it. "Cum for me, bitch!" he demanded and I came so hard during the ass fucking. The orgasm went through my whole body. He came up my ass with a hard last thrust and then gave me a big spank and told me that I need regular ass fuckings to keep me in line. He was very pleased. Then I was ordered to get naked and clean up and cum back to him. I pulled out a white feather boa that I also got from my friend, Katt. I came back to him and did a bit of a show for Master who was laying on the bed looking very content and pleased. All I was wearing at that point was the feather boa. He told me to lay down and get ready to cum again. I handed him the Hitatchi and he used it to make me cum hard again for him. I had a hard time walking to the bathroom after the second orgasm. My head was spinning and I was in a very deep subspace. He gave me great aftercare. I got to curl up in my comforter naked and feeling well used. He got some snacks and water and then reassured me and told me what a good girl I am. He was very proud of me for all the pain I took for him. I cuddled up close and fell into a deep sleep. I woke up this morning to more cuddle time with Master and orgasms. He used the Hitatchi to make me cum twice for him and he played with my nipples more and cleaned my branding and we did a lot of groping and making out. We talked and he made me breakfast in bed. I enjoyed several hours of fun time with Master before Skywalker came home. I am feeling happier than I have in a very long time today. The sun is shining and I feel so deeply in love with Master and very connected to him and submissive. It was an incredible and wonderful Valentine's day and I will never forget the special times that I shared with Master yesterday! My force feels strong. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Happy Valentine's Day!

TGIF! It has been a really long week and I'm so glad it's Friday and also sunny today! It's also almost Valentine's day! I am really glad that Valentine's day falls on the weekend this year. Master Anakin arranged for us to have an overnight and we have no kids and a whole night to ourselves. He has told me he has made reservations for a romantic dinner but he hasn't told me where we are going. I have been told that I will probably be able to cross something else off my bucket list! There is a lot on my list so I am not sure what his plans are. He sure has me wondering in anticipation about what is to cum this weekend. He also has told me he has some bondage time planned and also that I am going to be receiving some attention from his belt too! I need a spanking and I can't wait for some playtime with him. I've also been on orgasm denial since Monday!! You can imagine how horny I am today with all the anticipation! It's been a hard week feeling horny and not being able to masturbate. *pouts* I've been having masochistic fantasies all week! Master has kept me on the edge though wondering about his plans and I've been wet thinking about the naughty fun that we'll be doing. I've got a surprise of my own for Master. I phoned him at work this morning to tell him all about it. I went to Wal Mart and went to the lingerie department this morning to pick something sexy out for Valentine's day to surprise Master. I found some really sexy red Valentine's day themed panties!! They are perfect to wear for our date night tommorow night! I also have some lingerie that I plan to wear that Master has not seen on me yet. It was given to me from my friend, Katt. It's beautiful and I can't wait to wear it tommorow night after we get back from our romantic dinner. I also picked up some hair dye at Wal Mart and plan to do my hair for the weekend. I also picked up some Valentine's day chocolates for Master. Valentine's day is always the best when there is chocolates involved. I know usually there are flowers also from Master. He has given me flowers for Valentine's day every year that we have been together. He is such a romantic Master! He can be so romantic one minute and then get sadistic and turn into Darth Vader the next! I am putting up a Valentine's day picture from last year. You can click on the picture to enlarge it and get a better look at it. You will notice that I am wearing my leg cuffs in this picture and some black fishnet thigh-hi's also. I was wearing my black velvet dress and high heels also. I had my hands free but not my legs. I love this picture and think it's very erotic and sexy. Please leave us a comment and let us know what you think of it. *smiles* What are your plans for Valentine's day? Is anyone else shopping today to get last minute stuff for it? Does anyone else have naughty plans for the special day? I hope everyone has a wonderful Valentine's day! I am sure I will be blogging about my weekend and hopefully sharing a few pictures too. *winks* May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Happy HNT - Candy hearts and bondage

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) everyone! I wanted to put up a Valentine's day themed HNT picture this week. The picture was taken a few years ago during one of our Valentine's day play times together. Master had bought me some thumbcuffs and I was trying them out. I was wearing my sexy red lingerie also. Master did some photoshopping and put "spank me" candy hearts around the frame of the picture to make it more Valentine's themed. I think this is such a cute and sexy picture and I hope you enjoy it! Please leave us a comment and let us know what you think of it. :) I can't wait for Valentine's day this weekend! I am SO excited!! We have an overnight and Master has something very special planned for us. I have no idea where he is taking me for dinner. He told me he is planning a very romantic dinner and some plans but that it's a special surprise. Master is always full of surprises. He is the most romantic man I have ever known. We have been together for 12 years and he is still blowing me away with his romantic surprises and spoiling me. I have been told by many women that they wish they had a husband like Master Anakin. I am so extremely grateful for my wonderful life with my Master and our family. He has given me a really great life and he treats me like a princess. He is my Daddy and also my Master. He will take care of me and he will also spank me or discipline me if needed. What more can a slave girl ask for? I have some very special Valentine's day memories with Master. I can remember being pregnant with our son back in 2001. I was having a very difficult pregnancy and about to give birth. I had been in and out of the hospital and I really didn't feel like celebrating Valentine's day that year. He surprised me with a very special memorable night. He arranged for sitting for Leia (she was in kindergarten at the time) and he had told S (a friend of mine at the time) that he wanted me to go out that day and get my hair cut. I cut my hair short and came home to an outfit waiting for me on the bed and a red rose. He told me he was taking me out to our favorite restaurant. I love Choo Choo's and we have had some great times there. He had made reservations. I felt so huge in my maternity outfit but he told me how sexy I looked and he gave me lots of attention to make me feel special and loved. I can remember him leaning over the table and rubbing my belly and telling me how much he loved me. I am getting a bit teary eyed thinking about it. It was a very special moment between us. Him rubbing my pregnant belly and our son kicking away and about to be born. I remember coming back home and having false contractions but he was right there with me helping me through it. We weren't able to make love and I felt disappointed but he didn't care. He just held onto me and rubbed my tummy and made me feel so loved. Last year's Valentine's day was also very special. This year I think will be the best! I'm really looking forward to a whole night with my handsome Jedi. I am wondering where he plans to take me for dinner. What are his plans for me that night? I know the orgasm denial that I am on is very effective. I'm horny today and the anticipation is building. I can't wait! I am sure I will blogging all about it on Monday. I have a feeling that this weekend will be one that I will never forget! I wanted to leave a special Valentine's day video for Master. Do you remember dancing to this song, Master? I hope that he knows that I love him so much and I can't imagine my life without him. I am so thankful for everything that he does for me and being my strong force. Happy Valentine's day Master....i love you so much! XOXO I finally found someone - Bryan Adams I finally found someone That knocks me off my feet I finally found the one That makes me feel complete It started over coffee We started out as friends It's funny how from simple things The best things begin This time is different And it's all because of you It's better than it's ever been 'Cause we can talk it though My favorite line was "Can I call you sometime" It's all you had to say To take my breath away This is it, oh I finally found someone Someone to share my life I finally found the one To be with every night 'Cause whatever I do It's just got to be you My life has just begun I finally found someone Did I keep you waiting? I didn't mind I apologize, baby that's fine I would wait forever just to know you were mine You know I love your hair Are you sure it looks right? I love what you wear Isn't it too tight? You're exceptional I can't wait for the rest of my life This is it, oh I finally found someone Someone to share my life I finally found the one To be with every night 'Cause whatever I do It's just got to be you My life has just begun I finally found someone And whatever I do It's just got to be you My life has just begun I finally found someone .... Please check out Osbasso's blog if you are interested in participating in the HNT series. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

A kinky and romantic Valentine's day this weekend!

It has been a much better week for me so far. Yesterday was a relaxing day for me. I got permission to masturbate and use my Hitatchi. I waited until the kids were in school and headed up for some alone time. I fantasized about the single tail whip play that I did with Jake a few weeks ago. It's kind of funny that the toy I feared the most is now the one I find myself thinking about. Thoughts of that play with Jake and the single tail whip have lingered back many times and I have found myself craving it again. I came hard thinking about the single tail whip. Then I had a shower and got a few chores done for Master. I wanted to make sure I keep up with the housework this week so I don't displease him or earn another punishment with the cane like I did last week. I even made sure dinner was in the oven when he got home from work. We have a 1950's type of house and I do the housework and cooking and I don't work. My job is to work for my Master as a house slave. I have responsibilities that I must keep up with. I appreciate Master's lists that he leaves me of what chores must get done. It helps me focus and feel submissive also. Master ran me a hot bath and gave me time to relax last night. I even started reading my book that I got for Christmas. It's called The Darker Side of Pleasure by Eden Bradley. It inspired some arousal and fantasies yesterday. Master told me to stay upstairs and read and he took care of the kids. It was a really nice break and I enjoyed being spoiled by Daddy. He came upstairs at one point with some macaroni and cheese and water. He locked the door and came over to the bed. I was going to grab the macaroni from him but he stopped me. He told me to open my mouth and he spoon fed me the snack. He talked to me about Valentine's day while he fed me the yummy snack. He told me that he has arranged an overnight for Skywalker. Leia will be at her Dad's this weekend. We have no kids for 24 hours! He has arranged a very romantic dinner for us. He wouldn't tell me where though. He told me that I will be dressing up in the clothes he choses and he is planning a very romantic but kinky night for us. He told me that he has many surprises up his sleeve. He also told me that I will probably be able to cross something else off my bucket list! I admit it. I'm really into Valentine's day and I love to be spoiled rotten. I love to be Daddy's princess. I love surprises and I love that he's planning a special evening just for the two of us. He even told me that he is planning some bondage for me for Valentine's day! Ohhh....I got goosebumps when he said that. I can't wait!!! We don't do much bondage so it's a real treat when I am getting it from Master. I am a very lucky slave. I have the best Master ever! He is my strong Jedi and also Darth Vader also! I love his darkside and I love his Daddy side also. He knows how to take care of me and to keep me on edge all the time too. He cleaned up the dishes and made sure I had some water and then he started to take off his belt. No one takes off their belt faster than Darth Vader. He's an expert at it after all these years. He can spank hard with it! *smiles* He knows that I have a belt fetish and I love his the most. I've had a few men use a belt on my ass but Master's belt is my personal favorite. Mmmm... He put it on the nightstand and told me that he wanted me to drift off to sleep with thoughts of him using it on my ass. He told me that I will be getting lots of time with his belt on Valentine's day. My pussy was soaked and needing after he teased me last night but he told me that I couldn't cum and that I better have enjoyed the morning orgasm because it was the last one I would be receiving this week. I am on orgasm denial!! *pouts* I can't cum now until Valentine's day when he allows it. Orgasm denial is very effective on me. My arousal and need will build and the anticipation will grow all week. The result will be an incredibly horny slave who will do ANYTHING for Master. She will take lots of pain and suck his cock as hard as he wants it. She will beg for that orgasm and she will be full of arousal all week at having been denied. Master knows that denying his slave will only make her hornier and hornier. My pussy is throbbing today knowing that I can't cum til Saturday night when he allows it. Mmmm....the weekend can't cum soon enough! I can't wait to have a romantic and kinky Valentine's day with Master! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Another milestone reached

Journey to the Darkside has reached another milestone in our Journey. We've surpassed two million visits to our blog. We are honored that so many have come from so many places to share in our Journey, as we, Anakin and padme, move forward and continue to make our Journey to the Darkside. We thank you, our readers, for making the sharing of our Journey worthwhile. Thank you also for all your support with our online store, Darkside Digital Arts. We've had the store running for 2 years and have enjoyed putting up many designs. It goes both ways, of course. We hope in some small way we have been able to inform, entertain, and inspire you as much as your comments, emails, and friendships have been of value to us. We look forward with excitement and passion, as the Journey continues, and back, with appreciation and understanding, to see from where we have come; the road is sometimes long, other times wild, but always worthwhile. May the Force be with you. ~Anakin and padme amidala

A wonderful night at MVK

It's been a very interesting weekend for me. Master was home from work on Friday and I got a punishment spanking from him. I needed it and was very thankful for it. He knows me very well after all our years together and he knew that I would respond well to the cane. I felt centered and focused and a lot better than I had been all week. Master gave me the orgasm with the Hitatchi and then told me to get to work on the chores I had been neglecting. I got punished for several reasons. I had a lot of attitude and I was given many days to recover from the fallout with my heavy play with Jake. He gave me a short list on Thursday of chores to get done and I didn't do anything. I was exchanging e-mails with Jake all day and got nothing done. Then I chose to get sassy and had some attitude when he tried to call me on it. We have a TPE agreement and that's how it works in our relationship. Other people may do things differently. This is how we do it. The cane is never used for play. It is used strictly for domestic discipline and it's very effective for punishment. He always uses it hard and I learn my lesson. I hate the cane and I knew I deserved it on Friday. I'm very thankful that my Master knows me well enough to give me the punishment I was needing. Master also let me go to the movies by myself on Friday. I got to see the new Underworld movie! It was awesome!! I love vampire/horror movies and I was excited to see it. It was on my bucket list and was glad to be able to cross that off: #610 -Watch the new Underworld movie 3 - Rise of the Lycans I enjoyed my Friday night with Darth Vader and we stayed up late fooling around. I woke up and was starting to think that I might want to go to MVK. Shiro couldn't meet me for coffee today (Sunday) and I knew I wouldn't be seeing him for another two weeks when we go to Rascal's together. I really wanted to see the bondage demonstration also that was given by Professor Oni who is a very well respected Dom in the community who is an expert with rope bondage. Master said I could go but I needed to get a ride. He didn't want me taking the bus in Vancouver by myself. I got an e-mail from a friend of mine on Fetlife and Facebook. Her and her friends were going and they offered me a ride with them. They showed up on time and we were on our way to MVK! (Metro Vancouver Kink) I really enjoyed giggling with the girls and getting all excited about the night ahead. A very great way to start the evening and get all ready in anticipation. I got to MVK and saw Shiro and we sat together for the bondage workshop and demonstration. I get to cross something else off my bucket list: #135 -Go to a workship or demonstration for any bdsm play or sex type of play I have a naughty confession. I think that Professor Oni is a total hottie and I've got a bit of a crush on him. *winks* Watching him do the bondage was making me very wet. I really enjoyed the workshop and got very aroused from the atmosphere in the room. There is nothing better than watching a bunch of really cute girls getting tied up by a very handsome and skilled Dominant. Mmmm.... I got changed into my sexy outfit as soon as the workshop was over and the play party was about to begin. I wore my red corset (given to me from the lovely, Katt) and black PVC skirt with my fishnet stockings and black panties. I felt like "little miss dangerous". Shiro and I went in to socialize with our friends. I saw the cute schoolgirl there from LB's play party last week. Her name is Doc and she writes in her own blog. I really enjoyed hanging out with her last night. We both talked about our blogs and some of the drama happening in both of our lives. She's terrific to hang out with! :) I got some very nice caress's from Katt who looked beautiful in her corset. I enjoyed some flirting with different girls and visited with some very handsome Doms. I admit I have a few crushes on a few different Doms and girls but I won't say who. lol! Jake showed up at one point and I wondered if he was going to approach me. He went out to the play area right away and I watched them for a while and a few other scenes going on. I flirted with Shiro and told him that something was on my mind but I wouldn't tell him what. He guessed it though. He knows what a naughty girl I am. I wanted to go into the "red light room." The red light room is where you can go for intimacy or sex if you want to indulge in that. We headed in there and I got into my sexy red lingerie to get more comfortable. It reminded me a little bit like Goodhandy's in Toronto. You can hear the couples making love and also the play happening too. There is only cloth up to give you privacy. There are red lights and a very erotic type of atmosphere. The couple beside us really went at it!! Holy fuck!! They were going at it like there was no tommorow. That was very arousing and I started to get turned on. Shiro and I did some making out and then he got out the glass dildo that he bought when we were at the Taboo Naughty but Nice sex show a few weeks ago. I have never tried a glass dildo before and it was on my bucket list: #555 -Try a glass dildo for the first time I heard the sounds of floggers and whips and moaning from people playing. The could hear the violet wand being used on someone. The sounds of music and people fucking and playing and all the energy of the room. I got pretty loud and came hard with him fucking me with the glass dildo. Mmmmm....a very nice toy and I really enjoyed being able to experience it for the first time with Shiro. We did some groping and rubbing and touching and intimacy. I was soaking wet and he commented on it too. I was very, very aroused. Mmmm...it didn't take me much to cum again when he used the other side of the glass dildo. It was a different type of feeling and I came hard screaming out. I'm sure the whole room must have heard me! I can get loud when I cum! mmm...very nice memories of the red light room with Shiro. We didn't make love but that was ok because I have really enjoyed taking it slow with him and building the sexual energy between us. I did enjoy feeling his cock and being able to be naughty with him. Lots of fun! :) We came out of the red light room and I had to go to the bathroom to clean up. My thighs were sticky and I could feel my wetness all down my legs. I walked by Jake at one point and could feel a lot of awkwardness. We never talked and it was uncomfortable between us. Shiro and I enjoyed some cuddling and closeness and connection. I felt very close to him after the time in the red light room. I didn't play last night but I was glad to have a quieter type of night and also have more intimate type of play. I really enjoyed the orgasms and energy of the room and watching others play and being able to watch others enjoy subspace. One submissive male had his back marked from bite marks and scratches and a whip. I rubbed his back for him and tried to make him feel better. Master picked us up at 1 am and we dropped Shiro off and then headed home. I was still horny and it didn't take much convincing to get Master to get naked and start fucking me. It was really great rough sex with some hair pulling and a few spanks on my ass while riding me doggy style. Mmm...a nice way to end a terrific night! I even got to cum again using my Hitatchi. 3 orgasms in a night is a fantastic feeling! I was feeling content and fell into a deep sleep next to Master. I didn't get much sleep but I am feeling good today. It's nice not to be crashing very hard but also feeling good about things. I feel close to Shiro and Master and I have a better feeling about things. My force feels strong. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

MVK tonight!

I wasn't sure if I was going to be going to MVK (Metro Vancouver Kink) tonight but now it looks like it's all planned and I am going! Woot! I changed my mind this morning about going but I wasn't sure about how to get there. I have been offered a ride to MVK from a friend of mine on Fetlife and also my Facebook. It should be a really fun girl's night out and I really appreciate the car ride tonight. Shiro and I had a bit of a spat earlier on the phone. I admit I'm nervous about seeing him tonight now. I have been feeling disconnected from him lately and I really hope we can try to get things back on track. I told Shiro that I don't know if I am going to be in the mood for any playing. I am just ending my period and I've done a lot of heavy play lately and need a break. I plan to go to the bondage workshop first and watch and then go to the play party afterwords and enjoy being a spectator for once. I never really get the chance to watch other people play because I'm usually too busy playing myself. I am pretty sure I'm going to be seeing Jake there tonight too. Things havn't gone too well with him this week and I don't think I will be playing with him again. I am looking forward to seeing my friends there and having a chance to get out for the night and also to go to MVK again. I have only been there once and that was when I went with LB many months ago. It will be an interesting experience this time with attending a workshop also before the party. I am sure I will be writing a blog post all about it too. I am always having adventures on my nights that I am attending kink events. I hope everyone is enjoying the weekend. I need to take a bath and start getting ready for tonight. My friend is picking me up around 6-6:30 pm and I need to figure out what to pack in my bag to wear for tonight. I think I may bring my new red corset as I feel sexy in it and it's so beautiful. Maybe wear that with my PVC skirt. Hmmm...or maybe I should wear my pink PVC skirt or some pretty panties or thigh-hi's. Hmm...decisions....decisions. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Punishment spanking from Darth Vader

I've had my head in the clouds a lot this week. I was so focused on Jake and our play on the darkside last Friday. There has been many e-mails between Jake and I and I was spending a lot of time thinking about it. I was dealing with the crash from the play and also my period this week. I wound up not getting my chores done and didn't have dinner on the table almost every night this week. I've been so focused on Jake that I was neglecting my responsibilities this week and Darth Vader was not pleased with me. He came home yesterday and was surprised to see that the house was a mess and dinner wasn't on the table again and I had spent a lot of time on the computer writing e-mails to Jake. Darth Vader was not too happy and I was told that there would be punishment coming. He felt like I had been pushing it all week. I broke some rules this week including doing knife play with Jake. I have been told to not do that with anyone but Master. I should have safeworded and said something but I didn't. I was told a punishment was due for that. I also was feeling disconnected from Master and he could feel it and was not happy about it. I wasn't being as attentive to him and submissive. I pulled away from him a few times and got sassy with my attitude. I was given a lecture before bed. He whispered in my ear what he planned to do to me today. I knew he had the day off work and the kids were going to be in school. There would be hours of alone time and he was not pleased. A punishment caning was coming and he told me that it would be hard and that he wanted me to go to bed thinking about it. I was nervous when I woke up this morning and got the kids off to school. He had the look of Darth Vader in his eyes. I could tell that a hard punishment was coming and I was getting nervous. Punishments are not fun. He is stern and dominant and my ass usually is so sore that I don't sit comfortably for a day or two. We had breakfast together and talked. He asked me if I was nervous about the punishment and I told him I was. I felt very submissive in that moment and I knew I deserved to be punished. I felt like I havn't treated Master very good and been the proper slave that I should be. There are times that I know what I need. I needed a caning and I knew it had to be hard. I wanted him to punish me. He made me a deal. He told me that I would be receiving 50 with the cane and also 50 strokes with his belt. He told me that I would receive an orgasm afterwords but only if I took all 100 strokes without complaining. He didn't want me to move my ass around too much and he didn't want to do bondage on me. He wanted it hard and fast and for me to take it all and accept it and thank him for it. We went upstairs and I brought out the bamboo cane and put the pillow at the end of the bed which is where I usually get punished. I got ready for my punishment and felt like crying even though he had not even started yet. I felt so bad and guilty and I knew it was going to be a hard punishment. He was so stern and in complete Dom mode. He lectured me and pulled my panties down and lifted up my nightgown. You can see two pictures today of that punishment spanking. You can see how red my ass was during the punishment. I got 50 hard cane strokes and had a hell of a time trying to keep still. I had to bite into the comforter a few times and cried out during a few extra hard strokes. I heard the sound of his belt being unbuckled. Then I felt his belt cross my ass. It felt like it was on fire!! The sounds echoed through the room of his belt strapping my ass. I was crying when we got to 60 strokes. He let me have a few minutes break to go pee and get myself together for the rest of the punishment. I hesitated to get over the pillow again but he reminded me that I wouldn't get an orgasm unless I accepted all of the punishment. 100 strokes and no less. I cried as he delivered the last 20. 10 were with the cane (which was a surprise to me as I had already taken 50 with it) and then picked up the belt and did the last ten with those to finish me off. Then I was told to get to the bad girl corner and think about why I got punished and do some reflecting. My ass was so sore. I havn't gotten the cane in months and I forgot how much it hurts afterwords. I thanked him for the punishment. That is how it works in our relationship. We use domestic discipline and I was bad and got punished for it. I'm having a heck of a time trying to sit right now while posting about it. I curled up on the bed after and he rubbed my sore bottom and stroked my hair and whispered in my ear that I would get to cum for him because I took my punishment so well. He went and got the Hitatchi and plugged it in and got me to take off my panties. He got me to spread my legs and used the Hitatchi until I was close to cumming and then said in a very dominant tone "cum for me, bitch." I came so hard that my whole body shook. He held me in his arms after and reassured me and told me that he would get my focus back on him this weekend. He has special plans for me this weekend as well as he wants me to relax also. TGIF! I was invited to MVK (metro vancouver kink) this weekend but have declined. There is a bondage workshop and also a play party happening there and Shiro and Jake are both going to it. I am still healing from the play last weekend and now my ass is very bruised and marked. I want to watch movies with Master and catch up on the chores that I didn't get done this week. Master is allowing me to have Sunday afternoon off also. I've invited Shiro out for coffee that day but he isn't sure yet if he has plans. I'm hoping it will be a nice weekend and that next week will be better for being back on track again and my force feeling strong. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Hearts and sexy stilettos

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) everyone! Master has asked me to put up the HNT this week so I looked around at some old HNT pictures and found this one. I thought this one would be fun and sexy for Valentine's day which is just around the corner! I bought these naughty fun heart thigh-hi's one year to surprise Master Anakin for Valentine's day. I wanted to look cute for him. They have red hearts and lace and bows on them. So feminine and naughty but yet cute at the same time! I wore my sexy Fetish stiletto shoes also to go with the outfit. I am starting to get really excited about Valentine's day. It falls on a Saturday this year which is great because we are more likely to get an overnight or sitting time for both of our kids on a Saturday. Master has talked about taking me out for dinner and perhaps even crossing off something from my bucket list! He was also talking about spending Valentine's day having lots of orgasms! Sounds good to me. *smiles* Last year was a really wonderful Valentine's day for Master and I. He got his tax refund that day and we went out for a yummy breakfast and bought some champagne and spent the afternoon making love. I am looking forward to what will happen this year. Hopefully I'll have a nicely red warm bottom and plenty of champagne, orgasms, lingerie, romance, and naughty fun! What are your plans for Valentine's day? Do you plan to get naughty for it this year? We would love to hear from you. Please leave us a comment! I am thinking about Shiro today. His Dad's funeral is today and he is saying goodbye to his Dad. He's on my mind and I hope he is ok today with this difficult day happening. I wish I could give him a big hug right now. He has been in my thoughts this morning. Jake wrote me a very long e-mail last night. I admit that it overwhelmed me. I barely slept last night because I was up most of the night thinking about his e-mail. I think it might be better to just be friends with Jake and take a few steps back. Our play together on the darkside was a bit too much for me for the first time playing with someone. I have been so focused on Jake lately and I really need to move on and focus on other things. I'm not sure we will ever play together again but it was a very good learning experience for me and I am grateful for that. I think I am going to throw myself into some chores today as I havn't been keeping up with them very good this week. Master is off work on Friday and I really want to have the place cleaned and ready for hopefully a fun weekend with him. Please check out Osbasso's blog if you are interested in participating in the HNT series. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

What's your safeword?

I have been debating writing a blog post today. My heart feels sad and I'm dealing with my period and hormones going crazy. I'm also still processing and dealing with my emotions over my play with Jake last Friday. I wrote Jake an e-mail yesterday about some of my concerns about our play and he hasn't written me back yet. I'm beginning to wonder if I will hear from him again. It probably doesn't matter if I don't. I really don't think it is going to work out between Jake and I. We are both looking for different things. He seems to want a casual play partner who he can play with when he is coming up from Seattle. I think he wants someone who is able to play on a heavy level with him casually. I do not like to play on the darkside with anyone who I am not in a relationship with. I am able to gain trust and be able to really let myself go when I am in a relationship with that person. I really have no interest in being someone's casual play thing. I also like to feel safe when I play with someone and I did not feel safe on Friday night. I do feel bad though that I didn't safeword. I wanted to several times. I could feel my safeword at the tip of my tongue. It was in my thoughts. I have a few different safewords including Jedi and Peace. I have had those safewords with a few people that I have played with. Of course the word safeword (which is what I would have said on Friday night if I had safeworded) usually works too when you need to. I have only used my safeword twice and I have been playing since June 1997. I feel like a failure when I have to use my safeword. I don't know why. I just feel like it's not being submissive enough if I use it. I am too submissive for my own good sometimes. I should have safeworded with my play with Jake on Friday night. A lot of it made me feel very uncomfortable and scared but I didn't say anything. I have a hard time safewording when I am in subspace also. I get mentally fucked up and I was extremely gone on Friday night. My head was spinning and my endorphins were racing. I also felt Jake's extreme dominance and didn't feel like I could safeword. We didn't even talk about a safeword!! That should have been a part of the negotiations on the car ride that night. It wasn't even brought up! What's your safeword? I don't think that I realized how important it is to have one until recently. I feel so stupid now for not communicating and for not using the safeword. I will admit also that I am scared to play with Jake again. He scared me too much. I enjoy playing on the darkside but I like to know the people I'm playing with on that level a lot better than on the first date. I expect a coffee or a very erotic soft scene for the first time playing with someone. Jake was way too intense for me. I can play heavy but that was way too much for our first time. We hardly knew each other and we were doing knife play and take down scenes. I feel like I have learned a lot from the experience though and I'm glad for that. I'm also upset about him calling me a pig too that night. I was emotionally abused as a child and I don't handle name calling like that very well. It reminded me of my Dad and brought back bad memories for me. I felt like that went way too far. I really don't think we'll be playing again together. I think we are both looking for different things in our lives and also with play. I really want to move forward from this as this has been the focus for me the last few days. I am thinking about Shiro today. His Dad passed away recently and I have been worried about him and thinking of him. We have had a few really good talks lately. I really appreciate his friendship and being there for me. I hope he knows that I am there too for him if he needs me. I hope he is doing ok today. Today is a painful anniversary for me. I lost my Grandma 11 years ago today. I have been thinking about her and missing her. It seems like it was just yesterday.... Sarah McLachlan - Full of Grace The winter here's cold, and bitter It's chilled us to the bone We haven't seen the sun for weeks To long too far from home I feel just like I'm sinking And I claw for solid ground I'm pulled down by the undertow I never thought I could feel so low Oh darkness I feel like letting go If all of the strength and all of the courage Come and lift me from this place I know I could love you much better than this Full of grace Full of grace My love So it's better this way, I said Having seen this place before Where everything we said and did Hurts us all the more Its just that we stayed, too long In the same old sickly skin I'm pulled down by the undertow I never thought I could feel so low Oh darkness I feel like letting go If all of the strength And all of the courage Come and lift me from this place I know I could love you much better than this Full of grace Full of grace My love ....... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Playing on the darkside this weekend with Jake and Master Anakin!

It is a rainy dark Monday and I've got PMS happening and crashing from an intense weekend. I feel like crap. Febuary is one of the worst months of the year for me for several reasons. I always tend to have my worst depression this month. My SAD (seasonal affective disorder) tends to always be bad around this time of the year. I wish I could just stay in bed and sleep today. I have been a bit reluctant to post about Friday night. I don't like to write during PMS because I get extra sensitive with my hormones. Sometimes I tend to get very bitchy and emotional. I wish my Daddy was home today to take care of me. I wish I could just be cuddled with and spend the day with Daddy. Here are the details from the weekend. I am putting two pictures that were taken that night at LB's play party. I want to try to write as honestly as possible about my feelings about my play with Jake. I have had a few days to try to process my feelings about everything that happened with him and I.... Friday afternoon was spent anxious and getting ready for my date with Jake. I twittered a lot and tried to keep busy. Master was home from work and we were able to spend some time together. I came home and watched The Young and the Restless before heading into my bath to get ready. Y&R has been really exciting lately! Brad Carlton is leaving the show and they are killing off his character. I don't want to miss a minute of it! Jake called me and let me know he was running a little bit late. I started getting ready at 3 pm. I was packed and ready to go by 5 pm. Master took Skywalker out for the evening and I started waiting for Jake. I waited until 7 pm and then went into Fetlife because I was starting to get worried. I was waiting for him to arrive and hadn't eaten so we could go out for dinner together. I was getting hungry. Jake wrote me an e-mail saying he would be a bit late. I tried to relax but it was getting difficult as I was getting very irritated. I was extremely tempted to get into the Russian Vodka. I was getting pretty annoyed by 8 pm. I have dated a lot through the years and that is a pretty big thing for me...being on time for a date. First impressions mean everything and it shows me a lot when someone is that late for a date. I twittered and was starting to get tired and very annoyed. Jake arrived around 8:30 pm. I had been waiting for him to eat dinner and was starving. I am used to being in my pj's by 9 pm most nights. I got very quiet in the car. He told me that we were going straight to LB's house for the play party. I was pretty annoyed that we were not going out for dinner. That is an important part of the evening for me. I had been really looking forward to it. I also was hoping to go eat and get to know Jake better. I get irritable when I'm hungry. I hadn't eaten since noon. Shiro and I almost always go out for dinner before we play together. I play better when I've been fed and my tummy is full. I like to have a coffee or be able to talk with someone first before playing together with them also. We did some negotiations in the car on the way to LB's. It felt weird to be doing that in a car ride and it felt rushed. I didn't feel like I had enough of a chance to really know Jake. We got there and then I was left for a while alone on the couch. I'm not sure where Jake went but he was gone for a while. I was really, really hungry by that point. I had a few snacks and also visited with a very cute schoolgirl there. She was dressed up so cute and I really enjoyed my conversation with her. I got dressed up in my new red corset that was given to me from my friend, Katt. I also wore my leather skirt and black lace panties. I wore my black thigh-hi's with red bows which went well with the outfit. I started to relax a bit and enjoyed the wine. Jake sat beside me at one point and we were snacking. He asked me if I was nervous. I was very nervous and I was also a bit reluctant to start playing together. I had only spent two hours with him and we were playing together. I have known some Doms (like Master R) for years before playing with them. I was extremely nervous and my tummy was doing flip flops. We went into the medical room at one point and the toys got brought out. I was very surprised to see canes being brought out. Canes are a hard limit for me. They are used for punishment in our home. I hate them!! I was surprised that our play was starting with an impliment that I have very negative feelings with. We also did some flogging and that was nice. He knows how to flog very well and flogged me in all the right spots. I felt a chemistry and connection between Jake and I. He was very dominant in the scene and took control easily. Some of the play did surprise me though. I have only been caned by two Doms and I am not used to doing that type of play with someone I don't know very well. It made me feel anxious at times. He is a very dark man. I could see right through to a true sadist who likes to give pain. Jake has a very dark side. I like to know someone really well before doing any type of dark play with them like that. I like the first time I play with someone to be more erotic and slow. I should have communicated that with him. I didn't want to top from the bottom though. We went down to the basement at one point. I got put into bondage at the St. Andrew's cross in LB's dungeon basement. I have played there a few times. I admit that I had a few flashbacks when I first entered the school room and saw that cross. I thought about Daemon a bit in that moment. He laid out all his toys. Some of them looked very intimidating and scary! There was also some knifes there. I have never done knife play with anyone other than Master Anakin. The knife play scared me and Master Anakin was not too pleased by it. He saw the pictures the next day and we had a big talk about it. I am not supposed to do any type of edge play (knife play or breath play etc...)with anyone other than him unless I know them extremely well and have permission from Master. This was my first date with Jake! I know that Jake is probably used to playing so heavy on the first time but I am not. Some parts of the play terrified me. I came close to using my safeword several times but felt way too fucked up mentally. It was scary and very intense to play with him on a level that I have only played on with a few Doms like Master Anakin and Master R. Trust takes time and I don't know Jake well enough to trust him well enough, especially for something like knife play. I look almost broken in the one picture that was taken. I was in pain with big clamps on my tits and being single tailed on my front side. I was really floating high on endorphins at that part of the play. Some parts of the play were so animalistic and rough. Way beyond what I am used to doing with someone I don't know very well. Jake scared me several times and pushed me to the edge but I think sometimes it felt like it went way over the edge. He called me a "pig" during the one part of the scene. I've never been called a pig before and that disturbed me a bit. He had some very intense looks and I called him many names including a meanie and bastard and motherfucker. He brought out so many emotions within my soul. I felt lost in pain and tried to absorb it and deal with everything that was happening. It's been days since I played with Jake and I'm still trying to absorb it all mentally and process it. I feel many emotions over it...I'm aroused and scared and fragile and vulnerable and submissive and so many different things right now... He also went pretty hard on the single tail whip on Friday night. I still have some pretty nasty marks from it and I came close to safewording during that play. I'm very afraid of whips and it was a very, very intense experience for me. I'm still trying to process all of my feelings about it. I was the one who asked him to use the single tail whip. I know he was experienced and I wanted to take the opportunity to experience it for the first time. I admit I was very curious. I had no idea it would be as intense as it was. I am glad to have experienced that play for the first time. At least I can say that I have tried it now. It was on my bucket list. There was a balancing act at one part of the play. I had to try to balance something on my nose and not let it drop. He gave me an OTK (over the knee) spanking too. I tried to crawl away from him a few times and I also had him chasing me through the basement at one time also and he took me down. There was some very primal play which happened. He brought out emotions that I have never experienced in play before. I got so angry at one part of the scene that I tried to kick him and spat water at him. I know water was thrown on me too at one point. He also told me to bite him which I did. I swore at him several times calling him a "bastard" which I was told many subs have called him. I know why now. He can be a real bastard during play. He can be very scary and intense and there were times I felt so angry at him. I think I surprised him also during our play. It was very intense and he was different than any other Dom that I have played with before. Jake was very intimate at times. We had beautiful aftercare together. He was scary but he was also comforting when the play was over. He held me in his arms and reassured me and was very good to me. We made out a little and we enjoyed some affection together. That was a very nice part of the night for me. We went upstairs and I put on some sexy red lingerie and had something to eat and drink. I sat by Jake's legs and felt very submissive and floated on the endorphins going through me. I had reached a very deep level of subspace during our play. My head was spinning. My pussy was soaking wet. I felt a need to get home to Master. My friend, YTB drove me home. I got home around 3 am and Master was waiting up for me. I begged him for an orgasm and for him to fuck me. We went upstairs and it took me about 2 minutes to cum!! I came hard! Then he fucked me and we held each other. I felt like crying. So many emotions were swirling around in my head. I felt horny and submissive and yet I felt troubled and a bit overwhelmed by the whole night. I had some pretty nasty marks all over my backside and some on my front also. I got about 6 hours of sleep and then Master and I began our overnight. Master could tell that I was feeling off. We talked for a while and then he told me he was going to surprise me. It was a sunny day and we went for a drive out to Burnaby. He took to the new casino there called Grand Villa. I had really wanted to go there and put it on my bucket list. So I can cross something else off my list! #592 -Gamble at the new casino in Burnaby We had lunch there and a really nice time together. Thank you Master for taking me there! It was a really nice Saturday afternoon. We decided not to go back to LB's for another play party. We wanted some alone time. We went home and put out some snacks and had a few drinks and I got naked and on my leash while Master and I watched the big UFC fight. George St. Pierre won the fight against BJ Penn! Woot! We were both really excited and happy about that. :) We had some fun spanking play during the fights and I also put the butt plug up my ass for a while too. We had a very erotic night together and enjoyed some play time on the darkside together. Master made me cum several times for him. He had me bent over the couch at one point and was fucking my pussy hard. It was really great sex and I really enjoyed spending Saturday night with Darth Vader. Yesterday was difficult for me. I tried to do some chores but I was low on energy and feeling very off and irritated. Crashing from all the play on the darkside has been very, very difficult. I feel very vulnerable right now and sensitive. I am still trying to process my feelings about playing with Jake. I am glad to have a very quiet week to have some alone time and try to feel more like myself. The hormones will calm down and my force will be strong again... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala