Am I a cougar?

I have blogged about my new Dom, A and how we've been growing close and establishing a new relationship together. We've played together and had a lot of fun times together. There was one thing that I have left out of the blog posts. I've been a bit hesitant to say anything. A is a 20 year old and is about half my age. He's the youngest partner that I've had in all my years of doing poly and having an open relationship. Sometimes I can feel the age difference there. I was giving him a massage in my bedroom the other day and feeling his young skin and noticing how tight the skin was and how young he is. I started to giggle and get a bit uncomfortable. He wanted to know what I was thinking but I couldn't tell him. I am very attracted to A. He's so handsome and young and there is so much chemistry between us. We have not slept together but I admit that I've thought about it. I want to pounce on him like a cougar and ravage his young body. I had to giggle because it seemed a bit crazy to me in some ways. I've got a young handsome 20 year old boy that is in my bedroom with his shirt off and we are making out like crazy and I am extremely turned on by the fact he's so much younger than me. I am usually attracted towards older men. This is all a bit new to me. Master Anakin called me a "cougar" yesterday. I had never heard that term before. He explained to me that it's usually about an older women who goes after younger men. I decided to do a bit of research this morning and was surprised by how common this fetish is and also how many women are looking for younger guys. Fetlife had a thread about it which was interesting. I realized that I am not alone. I thought it was interesting that they said the term "cougar" came from the Vancouver Canuck's hockey team! "The term cougar is thought to have originated in the late 80's in the dressing room of the Vancouver Canucks Hockey team. They called the older single women that came to their games 'cougars' and it took off from there." It seems like there are a lot of Hollywood movies and songs and writing about the cougars out there and older women with younger guys. One of Hollywood's famous cougar is Demi Moore who is with Ashton Kutcher. And I have to admit I've envious of her. Ashton is a real cutie!! That young body and cute spirit he has. Yum! :) Then there is my mother. She is certainly a cougar. She's married to a man who's half her age and she's bought thong panties at La Senza for their bedroom fun. I asked her once what she saw in my step dad. He's almost the same age as my husband!! She told me it was "all about the sex and at least he didn't need viagra. LOL. Master recommended a song to me to listen to this morning. He said that it reminded him of me and my relationship with A. It's about a cougar and is a very fun video. I really liked the lyrics too. I couldn't help but giggle and smile. Don't Talk to Strangers by Hedley She was a bottle blonde She had her 7's on When I think about it now Just a cougar on the prowl She was hotter then hell Had me under her spell Got that ass doin yoga Didn't care that she's older Got off the stage Ended up at her place We were burning up the bed Fire needed to be fed Mornin sun hit her face Maggie May showed her age And I remember what my Mama said Don't talk to strangers Don't do all your thinking with your little head Like mama said, just like mama said My mama said Don't talk to strangers Just wrap it up so you don't wind up dead Like mama said, just like Mama said My mama said She likes em nice and young She likes em fresh and hungry Got that fire in her eye Lets you try her on for size Show you a trick or two To teach you something new Full of bacardi and botox She's fourty and so hot The light of the day Had somethin different to say My head started to spin When I saw her son walkin in I'll bet he felt like a fool Cuz I knew him from school And I remember what my Mama said Don't talk to strangers Don't do all your thinking with your little head Like mama said, just like mama said My mama said Don't talk to strangers Just wrap it up so you don't wind up dead Like mama said, just like Mama said My mama said Hey pretty lady it's crazy You're almost twice my age I wanna dance on your body The way I shake it on stage Hey pretty lady it's crazy You're almost twice my age I wanna dance on your body The way I shake it on stage Hey pretty lady it's crazy You're almost twice my age I wanna dance on your body The way I shake it on stage Hey pretty lady it's crazy You're almost twice my age I wanna dance on your body The way I shake it on stage .... I can't predict the future and what's going to happen with A. I worry that he might get bored with me and move onto some younger girl who is more his age. He's going to want to get married and maybe start a family one day. I can't give him that obviously. I admit to being worried that maybe I'm not what he is looking for. I'm an old lady who doesn't have the body of a 20 year old girl. I've got wrinkles starting and menopause around the corner. What could he possibly want with me? I guess I have many insecurities about it all right now. I'm going with the flow through and am willing to see where this road might lead. I like A a lot and am willing to submit to him and open up more and give him more of my heart. I just hope that it's enough for him and that he will be around in the future. ..... TGIF!! Thank goodness it's almost the weekend. I am looking forward to a movie & merlot night tonight with Master and some time with him. It's been a busy week for us both and we have not had too much time alone. There is also a play party at LB's and I really hope we can go. I'd really like a beating and need some attention from Master. I need some play on the darkside... I hope everyone has a good weekend!! ~padme amidala