A new year begins!

A new year begins and things are back to normal again. Christmas decorations are put away and all that is left is the presents and memories. It was a pretty good holiday this year. I loved spending so much time with Master Anakin. We didn't have one fight during the holidays which is truly a holiday miracle. We often get stressed and start fighting but not this year. We were closer than ever and at a very good place in our relationship. Lots of sex and orgasms and play. We spent a lot of time being naughty but also having fun. We played video games together which we hadn't done since we were younger. I spent some time over the holidays doing some reading. I finished a book in a week! One afternoon was spent in my pj's with some coffee and my book. I also loved being able to sleep in and had very little insomnia over the holidays. It was heavenly! This morning felt like boot camp a bit. Up before the crack of dawn. Chores to get done right away and kids to try to get out of bed which was a very big struggle. Urg! It's going to take a few days to get back to normal though. I am wrestling with a combination of SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and also PMS starting as well. It's been raining a lot and very dark out in Vancouver. This is affecting my mood. Today is also my Dad's birthday. He would have turned 68 today and I wish I could phone him and tell him happy birthday. I didn't have a chance to think about my Dad during the holidays very much. I was very busy and had a lot of distractions. I'm still grieving. I feel like there is some people who would rather me move on from this. It's hard though. I have days which are difficult to forget and not think of him. Today is one of them. I kept remembering his last birthday. He asked me to go out and celebrate with him. I was too busy because of the kids being back in school and life demands. I can't make that up to him because he's gone. Sometimes it really hits me that there is no more birthdays with him to celebrate. I feel kind of lost today. I want to phone him but I can't. I want to talk to him but I can't. When will it get better? It is hard to be apart from Master today. I feel an attachment has grown to him since he was able to control me more with all the time off and being home. He has made a few new rules for me and hopefully this will help me feel his control when we are apart. I have been wanting to suggest a punishment jar idea to him. I got this idea from my friend, spirited one. I think this might be something good to have in the new year. I got permission to masturbate this morning. Master wanted me to indulge myself. I wasn't really in the mood but it was great once I got going with the Hitachi. I forgot how good Monday morning masturbation can be. At least I'm feeling a bit better than I was earlier. I have made myself a few new years resolutions/goals for 2010: ~ to lose weight. I wanted to maintain my weight last year in 2009 and I was able to do that. I only gained one pound during the entire year. My walking was a big reason that I was able to do that. This year I want to try to lose some weight. ~to eat healthier. More salmon and fruits and veggies and try to stay away from sugar more. Hopefully use the bread maker that I got for Christmas and make some bread for the first time. ~to focus less on the poly aspect of my relationship. I spent way too much time investing into trying to find new relationships in 2009. I think it would be nice to have some casual play partners but I'm not looking for more than that right now. This year I want to focus more on my marriage and family life. I'm also going to focus more on making myself healthier emotionally, spiritually, and physically ~to travel more. I want to see new places and explore more adventures in the outdoors. I'd like to get back into hiking again and perhaps boxing. ~to try to blog more. I miss writing and hope to write a few erotic stories. ~try to read more. I enjoyed reading my book through the holidays. ~to try and cross more things off my bucket list. I was able to cross many of in 2009 but I want to try to experience more firsts and see some new places and put myself out of my comfort zone more ~to try to be a better slave and obey my rules better than I did in 2009. I have not broken any yet in 2010 and I'm going to try to do better What about you? Did you make any New years resolutions or have any goals for this year? May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala