Take me to Kalifornia

I have always been attracted to people's dark sides. I think that I developed an interest in the darkside when I was in my teen years. I read a lot of true crime books and had an interest in being a cop. My Dad had a lot of cop friends and there was a lot of conversations around our dinner table about the darker side of life. I have a confession about my darkside... I like to watch darker movies and they often will turn me on more than a porno. I love horror movies and especially the ones about serial killers. It fascinates me and arouses me to think of really mean men who do bad things. I find the "nice boys" in the movies way too vanilla and boring. One of my favorite movies is called Kalifornia. It is about "Brian Kessler, a journalist researching serial killers, and his photographer girlfriend Carrie set out on a cross-country tour of the sites of the killings. Sharing the ride and their expenses are Early Grayce, a paroled white trash criminal, and his girlfriend Adele. As the trip progresses, Early begins to appear more and more unstable, and Brian and Carrie begin to fear that they may have a real-life serial killer in the back seat of their car." The character of Early reminds me of my step-dad quite a bit with the redneck way of him. The couple of Early and Adelle are very interesting. There is one scene where Adelle tells the other girl that Early "punishes her for being bad" and she has rules like she can't cuss, smoke or drink. It is very clear that Early is the Dom in their relationship. Adelle is like a little girl and certain aspects of her personality reminded me of my own. It was a very interesting movie and talked a lot about people's darksides. The movie was over and we had enjoyed a few drinks and laughs at a few parts and groping. Hands went under the covers and touched me all over and had removed my panties and fondled me while we watched the movie. I was very wet by the time the movie was over. Some very rough play happened between Darth Vader and I. There was some choking, punching, slapping and hair pulling. The rough sex was amazing!! I almost came from him fucking me hard and hitting me. He allowed me an orgasm which was very explosive. Our force felt strong. There were mean things whispered in my ear and threats which made me get goosebumps. He blamed the movie for bringing out his darkside. I had a hard time looking him in the eyes at times. I have to admit that there were moments which were almost a bit disturbing. Sometimes I really don't know how far he's willing to take our play. Last night was darker than most nights. Maybe one day I will write more about this and what happened... .... I woke up this morning and sent a text to A. I was curious about how his night went at Sin City for his birthday. I was not able to go because of family commitments. He surprised me this morning with some news. I guess he had a very wild time at Sin City but he also groped and made out with some girls there!! He was drinking a lot and having a great night out for his birthday and didn't expect that to happen. I was surprised because we had just discussed not bringing any new people into our relationship until things were better between us. I've had some offers but had my hands full with A and Master Anakin. Our poly relationship has had some real struggles. It has not been easy. This was a very challenging path that we have chosen to follow. Our dynamic is much different than other people's. I have a Master and Dominant. He isn't ready to be a Master. He is young and inexperienced. I have a slave heart though and years of experience. This makes it feel like the odds are against us sometimes. Some of our issues have caused some fighting between A and I. I feel like it's been a bit of an emotional roller coaster lately. Our age difference is a bit of a problem at times. I know I feel insecure sometimes and worry he's going to find someone younger than me and not be interested in me and move on. I know that we are poly though so I have no rights to be jealous about what happened last night. He's allowed to have other partners and fun. I am still trying to sort out some of my feelings about it. I feel a bit conflicted in some ways. A has been very reassuring and we spent some time talking today about the poly and our feelings about it all. It's a journey and I am glad for my relationship with A even if it's had it's challenges. Things were a bit tense on the phone between us and we wanted to see each other. We set up a time to meet at the mall. I went shopping and picked him up a few things. I got him the movie called The Reader. The movie reminds me of A a lot. I also got him some English Toffee from Purdy's and a card. He seemed very surprised. He mentioned that he had concerns that I would be upset today. I was glad to see him though and tried to reassure him about our relationship. I feel that things are going well. We went to Red Robin (where we first met at the Langley Munch a few months ago) and had lunch together. We held hands and watched the big hockey game today between Canada and the U.S. It was very exciting and we stayed to watch the end. A nice way to spend the afternoon. He mentioned that I needed a spanking and that makes me a bit nervous about the next time I see him. He was pretty mean on Friday and hopefully I've been a better girl and he won't spank me so hard. :) I hope everyone had a good weekend!! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala