Breakfast with Master R

I have been meaning to write this blog post for a while. It was about a breakfast date that I had recently with my old Mentor and Master, R. We broke up about 2 years ago but always kept in touch through e-mails. He always let me know he was there for me even if that was from the shadows. Our breakup was a bit of a strange one for me. We kept the door open and he kept referring to himself as my Master even though we were no longer together. I knew that he felt that I was his slave as soon as I agreed to his rules and to be his slave. There was no temporary contract like there was with A. (my recent ex) I was Master R's slave for life as soon as I agreed to submit to him years ago. I was really curious to see him again. I have thought about him a lot over the last two years. There were times that I really wanted to pick up the phone but something was always holding me back. We talked on the phone and agreed that it would be just a coffee date. No expectations meant no disappointment for both of us. I had no idea if there would even still be chemistry between R and I anymore. I was so nervous to see him again. I got ready for the date and waited for him to arrive. I saw his car pull up and he got out and headed towards my place. I was surprised to see more grey hair then the last time we saw each other. He is getting to be an old man though! He is almost 20 years older than I am. The chemistry was there from the moment we saw each other again. His warm embrace and smile made me feel at ease even though I know R's got a very mean side also. He is a ruthless sadist. He's got a very sadistic side. But he's always been in control of himself. R is a very good experienced Dominant with years of bdsm experience.I knew that he would calm my nerves and he did by the time breakfast arrived. His soothing Dominant voice always calms me and puts me into a submissive mindset right away. He can control me through his voice or eyes or tone. I don't even need to worry about any decisions while I am with R. He takes care of everything. It is easy to be around Master R. He's an experienced Master and things just seem very simple with him. He controls and I obey. We got to the restaurant and he ordered my food for me. I was impressed he remembered what I liked. We made eye contact several times and tried to have some chit chat. We had a lot of things to talk about. He was very amused by my relationship ending with A. He didn't understand why I had fallen for a young boy who was not experienced. He reminded me that I have not had much luck with young boys and that maybe I need to play with the "big boys" next time. R has always had a simple way of having poly relationships. He controlled me only when we got together which sometimes was weeks or months between our play times. I tried to tell him about my feelings during lunch. I was told at one point that I had broken the rules and would have to be punished for that the next time we got together. He made it clear that it was fine to get together for coffee but next time we got together it would be on his terms. I started to squirm in my seat while he told me what he wanted to do to me the next time he saw me. He told me he bought a new belt and always thought about me when buying it and putting it into the loops of his pants. He has always been brilliant at the mind games. He knows this makes me come back for more. R was the one who turned me into a pain slut. He told me he would train me to become a pain slut and he did a really good job. He knows that I ache for the rough play we had together. Our relationship never involved the "L" (Love) word. It was not about love. It was about pain and pleasure and lots of rough sex. He filled a need for me and he knew that this would make me come back for more one day. He didn't seem to understand what took me so long to agree to meet him. I was looking for more than he could give me though. I wanted to feel love in my poly relationships. I've started to realize though that maybe love isn't what I needed the most. I need pain. I need the people who I play with to be mean. R's very mean. He is one of the few men who really get me. He knows how to give me that pain that I need. He reminds me a bit of a drug dealer who knows what the drug addict needs and wants. He knows she wants that fix. She'll do anything to get it. It feels soooo good. And he knows how to make everything feel better for a while. He'll hurt her and she'll beg for more and have many orgasms. The sex was always great. He is the one ex who I can't forget and move on from. I have kept coming back to him for years. It was only a matter of time before we found our way back to one another again. I felt a bit angry at times (because I was not getting my way) but he was always in control. R does not let me manipulate him and this is what makes him so attractive for me. A lot of the boys I've dated have let me wrap them around my finger. I'm a spoiled princess and can be a real brat. R doesn't buy it though. He does not let me be a princess. He is not my "Daddy". He is my Master and he demands obedience from me, even if we are no longer together. We got out to his car and there was a moment between us which felt very intense. The chemistry was very strong. He pulled my hair hard and pulled me in for a deep passionate kiss. This felt very forbidden and naughty. Being in the car of a married man making out with him and wanting to invite him into my place for some sex. I was wet and he knew it. He drove me home and it was very quiet in the car. He parked and we briefly talked. I wanted to invite him in and he knew it. But we both had agreed there wouldn't be any sex. This just made me want him more. The lust was strong as we kissed and he felt up my shirt. "Next time we get together, it's on my terms" he let me know in a very firm voice. Then he extended the offer to me. His wife (who is vanilla) is going to be away for 2 weeks at the beginning of May. I am welcome to come over and play with him while she's gone. He told me that he'll give me a nice escape from all my worries. He told me to hand all the worries over to him for an afternoon. He's promised me lots of pain and pleasure if I obey him. *shivers* I admit that this is a very tempting offer. It would be so easy to fall back into his arms and surrender my dark soul to him again... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala