 It's hard to believe it's been a year since my Dad passed away. It all seems like yesterday. This long weekend has been spent thinking about my Dad and all the memories. Yesterday was a very difficult day. I spent the afternoon going through the rest of my Dad's stuff and dividing up his stuff. Then we headed to his favorite restaurant where we saw lots of his friends and other family members. There was lots of drama too! My Mom and her red neck husband both decided to make a surprise appearance.
I will admit that I had to be on Ativan for it. It was all a bit much but I tried to do it in honor of my Dad and remembering him. We headed over to his grave after for a brief visit. Then we all went to a lacrosse game. I was completely wiped out after it was all over. Lots of drama in the midst of remembering my Dad and feeling sad. Anniversaries are always hard. I woke up this morning and it was the first thing I thought about. It's been one year since he passed away. My life changed in a moment of time. He was loved though. I was surprised at how many people showed up to show their support and love for him. He had his issues but he meant a lot to many people.
I held onto Master this morning and really needed to feel loved. I asked him to make love to me and he took off my nightshirt and then entered me and fucked me gently. I didn't want him to be rough today. I just needed to feel his love and to have a brief distraction from my thoughts of my Dad. We have not had sex in a while and it felt so good to be together.
We connected and he held onto me for a while before coming downstairs for breakfast. I think I'm going to throw myself into a project today so I can distract myself from the grief that I am feeling right now. I need to feel controlled and to just obey and move forward. My Dad's journey may be over but it's taught me that life is short and to live it to the fullest. Every day is a gift.
May the force be with you all!!
~padme amidala
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3 comments:
The anniversary of your Dad's passing this weekend is difficult, as was expected, but what perhaps might have been worse is that if no one took the time to remember your Dad. They did, and that's good I think.
I'll be there to keep you focused and to hold you and do whatever you need to get you through this. It's the hardest lesson, isn't it...that this life is but a dream, and that the dream ends for all of us, so we'd be wise to see every day for what it is, a priceless gift.
Take care and all My love, forever and ever.
~Anakin
I'm so sorry sweetie, although it's nice to hear that so many people came out to remember your dad fondly.
Hopefully with time the pain will ease some, and you will be left with only the good memories of your father.
Know that I have thought of you often this weekend. You are being very strong and I am proud of you for holding it together in spite of the drama.
Take it easy on yourself. A project could be a good distraction, but allow yourself to grieve in whatever way you like, for as long as you need to. There are no time limits on these things.
*Hugs*
Shasta
Thank you for being there for me this weekend, Master. i love you. XOXO
Shasta,
Thank you for the comment. I really appreciate it. I miss you lots. Let me know if you want to talk sometime and catch up. I hope you are doing ok. XOXO
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