 I have wanted to sit down and blog about my trip to Alberta but there hasn't been the time or energy. Most of that has gone to my teenager who has been a bit out of control lately. She's been making some bad decisions and lying about everything. It's hard when you can't trust your child and anything that they tell you. The stress from it has kept me up at nights and made me wonder what happened to my sweet little innocent baby girl who I held in my arms and used to rock to sleep.
Everyone warned me about the teen years. My mom used to say it would be payback for everything that I put her through when I was a teen. I guess you might say I was in a bit of denial though. I thought that maybe one of the reasons I was so out of control was my family circumstances at the time and rebelling against my controlling Dad. I thought that my child would be different somehow and that it wouldn't be so bad. Boy was I wrong!!
I like to live a very peaceful and quiet life. I do not like drama and will do anything to avoid it. That is quite hard to do though when it's happening right in your home and it's your child who is creating it. Teen world is a very different world than the toddler one or having a preschooler. I would take dirty diapers and sleepless nights anytime over the non-stop drama and chaos which teen world creates.
I still have sleepless nights but now they are because I'm worried that my teen daughter (who is 15 years old) is going to come home pregnant and I might become a grandma way before it should be happening. I am also worried a lot about the choices she's been making and how that will affect the rest of her life.
This last month has been especially bad. I try to take breaks from it but it never seems to last very long. I went out on a date with Master Anakin on Friday night and it was wonderful. I needed it badly. We got the teen to babysit Skywalker and we went out on a movie date. We went and saw the movie Salt which was excellent and I highly recommend it. We drove around and got to Fort Langley and watched the sunset before going into the pub there for chicken wings and some beers. I had a wonderful night and came home very relaxed. I came home and everything seemed ok at the time.
But on Saturday morning all hell broke loose. I'd rather not get into the details of what happened. I will just say that Saturday was one of the worst days I've had in a very long time. It just seemed like things kept getting worse and worse. We tried to unwind at the end of the day which felt next to impossible after everything that had happened. I had some of the worst insomnia ever staying up until 4 am. I tossed and turned and kept going over the whole situation again and again trying to figure out what I have done wrong as a parent. I've devoted my whole life to being a mother. It's been the most important thing to me even more than a slave. I've tried to give my kids a different kind of childhood than the one I had.
I try very hard to understand teen world. It really wasn't that long ago that I was once a teen and liked to push limits and brought a few bad boys home too. I was talking about it with my mom recently and I apologized to her for what I put her through all those years ago. I really understand now how hard it must have been for her at times when I broke curfew and kept her up at nights worrying about me.
I tried to rebel too and that often got me into a lot of trouble and I have to admit that I'm lucky to be alive right now due to the very bad choices I made which included dating an ex convict who was dangerous and who stalked me and refused to let me go when I tried to break up with him.
Leia recently hooked up with a very bad boy who has influenced her and gotten her under his spell. We tried to forbid her from seeing him but that just made it worse. Things have been getting very out of control from this situation. I even received a prank call from that boy yesterday. It makes me very concerned about this situation and has really upset me. At least he is moving away next week and hopefully will stay far away from my daughter.
He's an older boy who's Dad is in prison and has had a really bad childhood. Things have been really bad since he entered Leia's life. It's been hard for me to see my daughter going through a very similar experience as I once did with that bad boy that I dated. Hopefully this situation won't end like that one did.
This whole situation has taken up most of my time and energy recently and left me with constant worrying. Blogging (or the computer) has been the last thing on my mind. Hopefully things will get back to normal soon and I'll be able to catch up on all my writing that I've wanted to do.
This weekend is a long weekend. Master has 4 days off and the teen is going to her Dad's so it should be quieter and hopefully a better one than the last one. I really miss playing and getting spanked and having some fun. I could really use some escape and play on the darkside with Darth Vader! :)
May the force be with you all!!
~padme amidala
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6 comments:
My padme,
Teen world IS difficult, isn't it. What's that saying, the toughest job you'll ever love? Looking forward to some much needed time with you this long weekend. Nobody's perfect, teenagers included, parents included, and we all must learn as we go, as best we can, and those we're sworn to take care of, we guide the best we can and when they're ready to hear us, we must trust they will.
~Anakin
Sorry you're having a difficult time with your daughter. Have you considered getting her into therapy. She'll probably hate you for it at first, but what makes the teen years so difficult is the transition from childhood to adulthood. It's confusing and scary. On the one hand they want more responsibility... they want to be treated like an adult, but they just don't have the emotional maturity to handle it. Maybe a 3rd party... someone she can talk to more candidly and she might listen to because they are not her parents could help.
I know they had what was called coming of age counselling at my church... you can always look into it in your church or other organizations in your area. She might really be able to benefit from it. And maybe some family counselling, where they will help her to be more open with you with what she's feeling and experiencing.
I really hope things settle down soon, though, for you. I can't imagine how scary it would be and I seriously hope I never have to find out with Tornado.
*hugs*
turiya
Experience of the teenage years tells me that sometimes it can be better to ignore certain behaviours rather than get upset about them. Teenagers become bored easily and tend to move on to something else ridiculous if they don't think they are making their mark on you!
And when it all feels like it is getting too much, just always try to bear in mind that these troubled years WILL pass and things will get better.
Best of luck x
So sorry to hear about your difficult times with your teen. And like me, you have another coming of age before you know it. I can certainly relate to having no energy left after putting it all toward mothering. Please feel free to email me to vent if you need to... I'm certain we would be great support for each other. viemoira@yahoo.com
One way to rid your daughter of this "badboy" is to humiliate him in front of her eyes.
And no, I don't mean physical discipline. But anything that reduces his status in her eyes will do her some long-term good.
And if nothing else, if he starts hurting your feelings/robbing from you whatever, you should tell your daughter. At that point he's hurting her family, and if your daughter is salvageable she'll think that is a no-no.
Good luck.
Clarence
Thank you everyone on the comments about our teen. Leia has been going counselling for the last few months. I do think that this has been helping her a lot. It might be a good idea to do family counselling too.
The bad boy finally moved away and we've been having a lot less problems with the teen since then. Hopefully the next boy she brings home won't be so bad. :)
Hugs,
padme
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