Take me to Kalifornia

I have always been attracted to people's dark sides. I think that I developed an interest in the darkside when I was in my teen years. I read a lot of true crime books and had an interest in being a cop. My Dad had a lot of cop friends and there was a lot of conversations around our dinner table about the darker side of life. I have a confession about my darkside... I like to watch darker movies and they often will turn me on more than a porno. I love horror movies and especially the ones about serial killers. It fascinates me and arouses me to think of really mean men who do bad things. I find the "nice boys" in the movies way too vanilla and boring. One of my favorite movies is called Kalifornia. It is about "Brian Kessler, a journalist researching serial killers, and his photographer girlfriend Carrie set out on a cross-country tour of the sites of the killings. Sharing the ride and their expenses are Early Grayce, a paroled white trash criminal, and his girlfriend Adele. As the trip progresses, Early begins to appear more and more unstable, and Brian and Carrie begin to fear that they may have a real-life serial killer in the back seat of their car." The character of Early reminds me of my step-dad quite a bit with the redneck way of him. The couple of Early and Adelle are very interesting. There is one scene where Adelle tells the other girl that Early "punishes her for being bad" and she has rules like she can't cuss, smoke or drink. It is very clear that Early is the Dom in their relationship. Adelle is like a little girl and certain aspects of her personality reminded me of my own. It was a very interesting movie and talked a lot about people's darksides. The movie was over and we had enjoyed a few drinks and laughs at a few parts and groping. Hands went under the covers and touched me all over and had removed my panties and fondled me while we watched the movie. I was very wet by the time the movie was over. Some very rough play happened between Darth Vader and I. There was some choking, punching, slapping and hair pulling. The rough sex was amazing!! I almost came from him fucking me hard and hitting me. He allowed me an orgasm which was very explosive. Our force felt strong. There were mean things whispered in my ear and threats which made me get goosebumps. He blamed the movie for bringing out his darkside. I had a hard time looking him in the eyes at times. I have to admit that there were moments which were almost a bit disturbing. Sometimes I really don't know how far he's willing to take our play. Last night was darker than most nights. Maybe one day I will write more about this and what happened... .... I woke up this morning and sent a text to A. I was curious about how his night went at Sin City for his birthday. I was not able to go because of family commitments. He surprised me this morning with some news. I guess he had a very wild time at Sin City but he also groped and made out with some girls there!! He was drinking a lot and having a great night out for his birthday and didn't expect that to happen. I was surprised because we had just discussed not bringing any new people into our relationship until things were better between us. I've had some offers but had my hands full with A and Master Anakin. Our poly relationship has had some real struggles. It has not been easy. This was a very challenging path that we have chosen to follow. Our dynamic is much different than other people's. I have a Master and Dominant. He isn't ready to be a Master. He is young and inexperienced. I have a slave heart though and years of experience. This makes it feel like the odds are against us sometimes. Some of our issues have caused some fighting between A and I. I feel like it's been a bit of an emotional roller coaster lately. Our age difference is a bit of a problem at times. I know I feel insecure sometimes and worry he's going to find someone younger than me and not be interested in me and move on. I know that we are poly though so I have no rights to be jealous about what happened last night. He's allowed to have other partners and fun. I am still trying to sort out some of my feelings about it. I feel a bit conflicted in some ways. A has been very reassuring and we spent some time talking today about the poly and our feelings about it all. It's a journey and I am glad for my relationship with A even if it's had it's challenges. Things were a bit tense on the phone between us and we wanted to see each other. We set up a time to meet at the mall. I went shopping and picked him up a few things. I got him the movie called The Reader. The movie reminds me of A a lot. I also got him some English Toffee from Purdy's and a card. He seemed very surprised. He mentioned that he had concerns that I would be upset today. I was glad to see him though and tried to reassure him about our relationship. I feel that things are going well. We went to Red Robin (where we first met at the Langley Munch a few months ago) and had lunch together. We held hands and watched the big hockey game today between Canada and the U.S. It was very exciting and we stayed to watch the end. A nice way to spend the afternoon. He mentioned that I needed a spanking and that makes me a bit nervous about the next time I see him. He was pretty mean on Friday and hopefully I've been a better girl and he won't spank me so hard. :) I hope everyone had a good weekend!! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Punishment and rough play from A

The last few days have been leading up to a powerful climax between A and I. We have been fighting a bit and there has been some tension. We were texting today back and forth when my bitch side came out. One of the text's annoyed me and we had a bit of a misunderstanding. A wanted to come over. I tried to resist but he was very persistent. I was intrigued when he started mentioning the spanking that I needed so badly. "You better be ready for me" the one text said. I knew he was serious and got out the toys and dressed for him in my leather skirt and "naughty girl" t-shirt from our store and sexy red lace panties. He didn't waste much time getting down to business when he arrived. I knew he was going to punish me and it was going to be hard. I had it coming and there wasn't going to be much choice about it. I tried to accept it although there were a few strokes with different toys which made it very difficult to keep still. Paddles, whips, his belt and other toys punished my ass hard. I don't know how long the spanking went on but it was intense and there was a lot of emotions behind it. I could feel A's anger behind each stroke. I broke down crying at one point and promised to be a good girl. He used a small knife on my bum after it was hurt. It was interesting knife play and added a bit of fear to the play with A. I could feel it's sharpness against the welts on my ass. I got wet from it all. I needed the hard punishment and A was determined to make my ass pay for my bad behavior. I was floating in a very deep subspace and my ass hurt BAD!! Ouchies!! My ass was already sore from yesterday's play with Darth Vader. This was the second day in a row that my ass was getting some very hard attention. I guess I better learn to be a better girl. I'm always getting into trouble!! That bitch side comes out and drives my men crazy!! I wind up with a sore ass and a very well adjusted attitude. I felt very subbie after the punishment. I made A lunch and we went upstairs. I gave him a massage and got some more attention on my ass. His belt feels like heaven as it got brought down hard on my ass many times. Mmmm...I was VERY wet and he knew it when his fingers were driving me crazy and turning me on so badly. He was going to fuck me but forgot a condom. So I serviced him with my mouth and hand instead. I used my oral skills on him as well as my hand to drive him crazy and he came all over my mouth, tits and face. I've got his cum all over my body right now making me very sticky. I didn't cum but I sure wanted to. We cuddled in bed together and enjoyed a few minutes together. He looked very pleased after his orgasm. It felt good to give him that, especially with tomorrow being his birthday. I won't be able to see him and wanted to give him something special for it. *smiles* I wanted to cum soooo bad but I didn't deserve it though for my disobedience. I learned a lesson today from A. He won't put up with the bitch side of me. He pushed past it and got very Dominant and controlling with me. It was very arousing and I feel very, very submissive right now. My ass hurts to sit down as a reminder of my place. I really need to learn to be better behaved. Tonight is our movie & merlot night. I have been told that Master Anakin wants me to service him tonight too. I think my jaw is going to get sore with all the oral action I've been giving today. I love to serve my two men and be a good little slut. :) Have a great weekend and TGIF!! ~padme amidala

Tied up naughty schoolgirl and spanked

I was a lucky slave yesterday to get a good beating from my Master. We had some play time in the morning before going to visit Master's Dad in the hospital. I got up and then Master warned me that I was going to get get my ass warmed up and then take out for breakfast. Then I was going to have to think about the beating that was coming to me when we got back. I leaned over our bed and received 30 hard strokes with his belt. I had to count them out for him. Some of them literally took my breath away and left me with a very sore bottom which I felt during our breakfast. We got back and he watched some porn while I twittered and checked the computer. Then I was told to get dressed into something sexy and meet him downstairs where the toys were. He had evil plans for me. I know he likes the naughty schoolgirl look so I put on my skirt and white top and ruffled panties and girlie socks for him. He looked very pleased and got into his Dom space very quickly. I was ordered downstairs and then he got out the rope and tied my wrists and legs so I couldn't escape. Out came our new English Tawse toy and he used that on me many times making my ass very red. He used his fingers to drive me wild as he played with my pussy while I was all tied up and helpless. He slapped me and then untied me at one point and told me to get my ass upstairs and wait for him. He brought up the "briefcase full of hurt" as he calls it which is his briefcase full of toys. He used paddles to hurt my bottom and then took off his belt again and used it again. Then I got the homemade whip before he brought out the evil wire coat hanger to use on my poor bum. I received 30 hard strokes with those which made me lose control and start crying. I was going to beg him to stop but I knew he would not have mercy. I had to take the pain or else get it harder and longer. He's taught me to accept it and I knew I had no choice. His evil impliment was going to hurt my ass and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it but submit. He got me to take off my cute panties and ordered me to use the Hitachi while he fondled and pinched/licked/sucked on my nipples. He told me how he was going to use his belt a bit more on my ass and he wasn't done with me yet. He knew this would create some fear and arousal in me as my ass had already had enough attention and I didn't think I could take anymore. He always likes to push me hard though and make me take more than I think I can. "You will take more for Master, bitch" he told me as I begged to cum for him. He finally allowed it and I had my first big orgasm. This got him hard and he got me to suck on his cock for a while before he decided to fuck me. He entered me doggy style and pulled on my hair as he fucked me hard and rode me. The sex was fantastic!! I could feel his body up against the marks and welts on my ass. My pussy was soaking wet from the pain that he had delivered to it. He commented on how much of a pain slut I am as he fucked me hard taking what belongs to him. I got to cum again with the Hitachi and then he decided to use a bit more with his belt after he had fucked my pussy hard and came deep inside of me. I cried in submission and then curled up at his feet and kissed them and thanked him for the pain and attention he gave to me. I floated in a nice subspace for a while and then we had to leave. The ride to the hospital was a long one with feeling like I could barely sit comfortably, especially with the butt plug which he had ordered to put up my ass before we left. My pussy was soaking through my panties as we got to the hospital and I tried to look normal with a plug up my ass and wet panties and a sore bottom. Master had an evil smile as he knew that I was feeling very subbie and wet. I've got some nasty bruises on my ass to remember my play with Darth Vader!! My force feels strong... TGIF!! I hope everyone has a good weekend. I hope to have more time to visit the darkside with Darth Vader this weekend. *smiles* I enjoyed being a tied up naughty schoolgirl who was punished and spanked. :) May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Happy HNT - Scratch my back

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) everyone! We got some good news regarding my father-in-law. He got through the major heart surgery. He is recovering and Master Anakin is taking the day off work tomorrow to go see him. This weekend will be busy with family visits and family responsibilities. I am hoping that there will be a bit of time to fit in some play on the darkside with Darth Vader. I miss playing with him. Last week I got a taste of the darkside. We had some very rough play which included him scratching down my back during our sex as he fucked me doggy style. Yum! I love to feel scratches on my body. I find it a very orgasmic type of play. I feel like I could literally cum as I feel nails scratching down my back or body. You can also see some of the bruises on my ass in this picture too. I had many marks and bruises caused by my play with Lord Vader. *smiles* You can click on the picture to enlarge it and get a better look at it. Master has been stressed and his Dominance has increased. He's been extra controlling lately and I've really enjoyed it and got aroused from it. I watched some porn this morning and fantasized about Darth Vader hurting me. How he used his belt on me last week and then the wire coat hanger making my ass bleed. Mmmm...it got my pussy wet this morning and I asked permission to masturbate. I went upstairs and plugged in my Hitachi and started to use it as I thought about Master and his darkside. I know he enjoys my suffering and that he gets hard when he's hurting me. His sadism is perfect for my masochistic soul that needs constant control and pain. The orgasm was fantastic! Thank you Master! :) We hope you enjoyed the HNT picture this week. Please leave us a comment. We'd love to hear from you. We always appreciate the feedback. Please check out Osbasso's blog if you are interested in participating in the HNT series. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

A journey through stressful times

It's been a stressful day for Master Anakin and his family. We have been waiting for news about my father-in-law who went in for major heart surgery today. There was a lot of risks and it has been very stressful waiting for news. I will twitter as soon as we know the results. The phone call could happen at any minute and we are waiting on pins and needles right now. I've never seen Master Anakin so upset as he has been the last few hours. I hope his Dad will be ok. My prayers have been with him. It has brought back some bad memories for me of my own Dad and his death. I wound up talking to A about some old memories of my Dad today. I have not been able to stop thinking about my Dad and it's put me into a bit of a dark place mentally. I think I am still processing my Dad's death. It hasn't been a year yet and sometimes I am still trying to pick up all the pieces that were left behind from his death. It's changed my way of thinking and lead to some very dark nightmares. I needed a beating and A was happy to give that to me today. He came over for a visit and we talked through lunch. It hasn't been an easy road for A and I. There have been a few issues which have been a bit difficult to work through. I feel that the odds are against us but I really hope we'll be able to stay together for a long time. I'm glad to have a new partner in my life. It's helping me through some tough times lately. I appreciate him coming over today to keep me company. I needed the distraction. We played and I asked him to "be mean to me". A is struggling a bit with this. I think sometimes I surprise him with how much of a pain slut I really am. I need pain to get wet. I need pain to connect with a partner. Pain is pleasure for me. I think A understood that after he beat my ass. I was soaking wet when he checked my pussy with his finger. He had been very Dominant during our play and it excited me when he got rough. We had some great sex and I got to cum for him with the Hitachi. We got to spend a bit of time together today too which was nice. .... It's been an interesting journey so far in 2010. This year has been a lot different than the last one. It's amazing how much can change in a year. Last year I was breaking up a poly relationship (with Shiro) and wasn't feeling very sure about the poly. I had no idea that my life was going to change in a very big way. My Dad passed away and I went through some major life changes in the last year. A has come into my life and other people have disappeared. I have no idea of the journey ahead in 2010. I feel there is major changes still to come. My fortune Cookie (which I got during my lunch with A at a chinese food place on Sunday) said "Now is the time". I can't help but wonder what that means. The force doesn't seem as strong as it a few weeks ago. I can't help but notice the dark wind on the horizon. A storm approaches and it's unclear what lies ahead on the journey.... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Rascal's with A and a birthday celebration!

It's been a really wonderful weekend. I'm in a very relaxed and happy mood. I feel very blessed right now because I've got two really great men in my life who I love. Friday night was spent with Master Anakin. We had some rough anal sex but I was not allowed to cum. I've been on orgasm denial because I didn't do well at weigh-in this week. I gained two pounds. I also was not keeping up with the new rules. I got a big lecture and then a punishment from the punishment jar which was the orgasm denial for 3 days. Saturday morning was not too good. I felt very off and a few things happened which upset me. I had a bit of a upset tummy and also feeling very emo. I was also feeling tired from the insomnia that I had on Friday night. I got ready for my date with A and he arrived to pick me up at 5 pm. We headed down to Commercial Drive and did a bit of shopping at the neat stores down there. There was a neat 50's store that had some great stuff. I want to go back there sometime. We ate at a really neat restaurant called The Reef which had food from Jamaica. It was really nice and romantic too. The food was amazing!! I had the jerk chicken and it was soooo yummy! I was feeling like a little girl last night. I had a lot of age regression going on. I'm not sure why but I couldn't get out of my little girl mood. A and I got to Rascal's a bit early and got to park and talk. There was some hair pulling and reminders of my place. He raised his voice at one point which got my attention. We were the first ones into Rascal's in the line-up. Rascal's had a neat Olympics theme and was decorated really nice. A looked handsome in his cute outfit. I wore my schoolgirl outfit complete with the schoolgirl shoes and my new panties (wild at heart) which are in the picture I put up today. A and I did some socializing with friends and then headed up to play in the private area where we did last month. A spanked me with many different toys after tying my legs to the spanking table. I had wrist cuffs on also and was able to cuddle with my teddy bear that A gave me for Valentine's day. He worked my backside over with the mean toys and then started on my tits with the clothespins and some biting. I floated in a nice subspace afterwords and had some cuddle time with A. We left early to head back to my place. We had plans for A to spend the night in the basement again like he did during our Sin City night. I had the basement ready for our special night. I had some merlot and massage oil to give him a massage. I bought a chocolate cake with the candles for his birthday. He's turning 21 years old. I can remember turning that age. Feels like a lifetime ago for me. The early 20's are such a great age. Being around A makes me feel young and makes me think of my youth sometimes. He opened his gifts from me for his birthday. I got him some goodies and a gift certificate for Red Robin where I first met him at the munch back in November. I also got him the movie, Spread which is an interesting movie about a cougar type of situation. It has Ashton Kutcher in it. We tried to watch the movie but we got ummmm...distracted. lol. Hands were going everywhere and lots of kissing and passion. I gave him a blowjob at one point and used my mouth to pleasure him. He rewarded me with pain. Some paddling and also a few with the riding crop. We had sex and enjoyed some intimacy together. It was wonderful. I wish I could have stayed up later but he wore me out. lol. I'm an old lady and it is too hard to stay up late. I wish I was A's age sometimes and had all his energy. He sure has a lot of stamina!! It seems like he has a permanent hard on most of the time. He's always telling me how horny he is! lol! I'm such a cougar. *smiles* I woke up early and cleaned up. Master gave us the place to ourselves so we had time to take a warm shower together. It's a great way to start the day. We had some morning sex which was amazing! It really sucked being on orgasm denial. I must be a masochist as I still used the Hitachi even though I knew that I did not have permission to cum. It was sweet torture with no release. We did some brief but intense play. He used his belt on me which was orgasmic! I wanted more and more with his belt. Mmm...thinking about it gets me very turned on right now. :) I made him breakfast with a sore ass. It was hard to sit down at times. I didn't want our time to end and asked him to spend some time with me. He decided that we would head to the Greater Vancouver Zoo for a date. The weather was perfect with the sun shining and warm temps. I'm getting better at following the rules although sometimes I need reminders. I enjoyed the long walk around the Zoo looking at all the animals. We stopped by the cougar cage at one point and we laughed at the irony of it all. I'm a cougar looking at the cougar inside of the cage. I also got to cross something else off my bucket list: #164 -Go back to the Vancouver Zoo for the day Thank you A for a wonderful date to the zoo. It was very relaxing and a great way to enjoy the day. I enjoy the dating aspect of poly and being able to go places with A other than to events. I really enjoyed the time at the zoo and also the Chinese food we had for lunch. I felt the force today. It was a perfect way to enjoy A's birthday with him. I'm glad we got to spend some time together. :) I'd like to wish A a very happy birthday! Happy birthday Sir. I am proud to be your submissive... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Two Lovers

One of the best parts of the poly has been having two lovers in my life. I am getting lots of play and sex lately. I spent last weekend having lots of sex. Then on Tuesday afternoon having sex with A. Wednesday afternoon was my rough sex with Master Anakin and more sex. Then yesterday afternoon was spent having sex with A. I am going to be having anal sex with Master Anakin tonight. Then tomorrow after Rascal's A is coming over to spend the night in my basement again with me and I'm sure there will be sex involved. I am a very lucky girl having two lovers control, beat, and fuck me. I love Master and A very much and enjoy fucking both of them. Perhaps one day they can help me live out one of my favorite fantasies of a threesome with both of my lovers. That would be so much fun!! One of the highlights of yesterday was when I had been fucked twice by A and was out of breath. We came downstairs and the phone rang and I thought it was Master so I picked it up. It was my mother!!!! I was trying to catch my breath and almost died from the embarrassment of it all. If she only knew that I had just spent the last few hours fucking my young lover who is nearly half my age. My mom might be proud though considering she is the ultimate cougar who taught me well. She is married to my step dad who is half her age. I asked her once why she married him and she told me that younger men are better in the sack. I can see her point of view now with having a younger lover. *smiles* I am going out for lunch with my mom today. Perhaps we should go shopping together for some sexy stuff to wear for our young lovers. Ahhh...if she only knew. TGIF!! I am looking forward to the weekend. Tonight is my night with Darth Vader. Then tomorrow is a date with A and Rascal's and a sleepover with him. I hope that I can play a lot. A used the homemade whip on me and I've been thinking about it ever since. My ass is quite bruised but it's never enough for a masochistic slut like me. I need pain and desire it to get wet. I need to be used hard and need reminders of my place. I was testing A again yesterday and feel bad about it. He surprised me by showing up at my front door and dragging me by the hair to the bedroom to punish me. I think I test him to see what I can get away with and to see how sadistic he can be. I've been telling him a few of my dark desires lately and fantasies. I'm very curious about his darkside. Hopefully he wants to play on the darkside with me as much as I do with him. Have a great weekend!! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Happy HNT - Bruises on my ass from play with A at MVK

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) everyone!! It's been a while since we put up a HNT picture. It's great to have our new computer up and running again so we can share some erotic pictures here at Journey to the Darkside. This picture was taken after I came back from MVK at the beginning of Febuary during some play time with A. He had beat my ass hard and left some really nice bruises on my ass to remind me of it. Enjoy the picture! You can click on the picture to get a better look at it. It's been a while since we posted a spanking picture and I think this one is very nice. Master Anakin had lifted up my leather skirt and checked out the bruises and then took the picture. I have been a lucky girl the last month. I've had lots of play time with A and also Master Anakin. I've had lots of bruises on my ass too. I am hoping for more play this weekend! I am planning to play on Friday night with Darth Vader. Then on Saturday I'm off to Rascal's with A. A lot has happened since our first Rascal's together. A came for a visit yesterday. I got a punishment spanking for being very disrespectful to him the day before. I need to learn to not test him so much. He used many toys on my ass. I've got some bruises today from it. I got very turned on and we wound up upstairs with him giving me an orgasm with the Hitachi before he fucked me. I love having two lovers. I have slept with both of my lovers in the last 24 hours. Makes me feel like such a dirty girl!! :) I feel very close to both of my men. I am a very lucky girl! A and I have been establishing some new rules and protocol for when we are together and communicating. I plan to do a longer blog post about this soon about it. ..... I got to play on the darkside with Darth Vader today. I have been craving pain and some play with him and he knew it. I was ordered upstairs as he got the toys and then ordered me to get changed into some lingerie. I was given a OTK to warm my ass up and get it ready for the pain he planned to deliver to it. Then he got out the English Tawse which is the new toy I bought over the weekend. I got 200 strokes with that. Then I was told that there would be 100 very hard strokes with the belt. I wasn't allowed to move or speak or struggle. I had to accept the pain and thank him for it. He was not satisfied after the 100 strokes though. He wanted me to cry and to break me down. "Another 50 slave" as he shoved my head down roughly to take more with his belt. I had forgotten how hard he can swing and how brutal that belt can be. I finally released all the pent up emotions inside of me and cried during that last 50 strokes. Tears were rolling down my face. I got up and he surprised me with a hard slap across my face. "Show me your tits" he said in a very Dominant tone. He wanted to go harder and to go to the darkside together. He was going to hurt me and he knew that I needed this. The pain slut in me had been craving this. He beat my tits with his belt and then told me that I needed to take 10 more strokes with the impliment of his choice before we were done. I heard him go over to the closet and take off a shirt from the wire coat hanger. Arousal turned to fear. I have been beaten with the wire coat hanger before and it's not fun. I know that his sadistic side enjoys this though. It was not about me. It was about his pleasure and he wanted me to hurt. I was told to count out the ten strokes and thank him for every single one of them. I cringed as I knew it was going to hurt bad. On the third stroke with the wire coat hanger my ass started to bleed. But that did not stop him. I screwed up counting at one point and we started over. This just about sent me over the edge. I wanted to run but I knew he'd catch me and it would be more brutal. I had to accept the pain for him. He got me to spread my legs when he was done and commented on how soaking wet my pussy was. My body had betrayed me again by getting wet from the pain. "Pain slut is very wet" he said as his fingers moved in and out of my pussy making it feel good. He started to take off his clothes and I could see a very obvious hard on. My tears and blood dripping off my ass was turning him on as well as it was for me. Another slap across the face made me fall back onto the bed. "Get into doggy style and arch your fucking back, bitch" he suddenly snapped at me. He entered me roughly and I heard him pick up his belt and put it around my neck and yank on it. We did some breath control as we fucked. He rode me as the belt was around my neck controlling my breathing. I almost came just from the pain and brutal sex. He scratched down my back as he fucked me hard. He came and then told me that I would be allowed to cum and to get out the Hitachi. It didn't take more than a few minutes to scream out a loud orgasm for him. I am still floating in endorphin heaven right now. I am in a very deep subspace. I love that he knows me like no one else. He is able to hurt me the way that I need and crave. I have been told that part 2 is happening on Friday night. I am getting more pain and a hard ass fucking to remind me of my place. I can't wait!! :) ..... Please leave us a comment. We'd love to hear from you!! We really appreciate the feedback on our pictures. Please check out Osbasso's blog if you are interested in participating in the HNT series. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

I'm here for your entertainment

I was having a bit of sub drop yesterday from the weekend play and all the excitement from the weekend at Sin City and A. I was hoping to play with Master and we hadn't had much of a chance over the weekend. He's been preoccupied on the new computer and we were both too tired to do much on Valentine's day so the plans got moved to yesterday. He is home this week and we were able to have some alone time together. He was working on the computer and I decided to get out a few toys including the new English Tawse that I picked up at Little Sister's. I also dressed up in my schoolgirl outfit for him. I called him from the bedroom and he came upstairs and looked pleased. I had the English Tawse in my hand ready for him to use. I am putting up a picture of it today! You can see the bruises on my tits from the play with A at MVK and also Sin City. Click to enlarge the picture and get a better look at it. We are finally able to put up pictures again and I downloaded a bunch of them on Fetlife if anyone wants to see some from the different play I've had in the last month. I hope to post some too for HNT and over the next few weeks. I lifted up my schoolgirl skirt and he used the tawse on my ass. I liked the sting on it. Then he took off his belt and I got a few hard strokes with that too. I have to admit that I wanted harder play although I should have communicated this better with Master. The pain slut in me wanted a hard beating. I've been having some dark fantasies lately and my masochistic soul wanted pain so badly. We had some great sex and I got to cum although it left me wanting more. I am such a needy little slut sometimes. I admit it. Master had to go to the computer store though and we ran out of time. Hopefully there will be time to play more this week. I twittered about not getting enough pain and he said on twitter "I'm glad to be home this week to keep My eyes on you, @padmeamidala. The play was nice but not nearly darkside enough for Me either." I sure wish I could get A on twitter. I've been working on him to try to convince him to join. lol. .... I got to go the Olive Garden Restaurant for the first time! Yeah! I have been wanting to go to our local one since the day it opened. A few people had recommended it to me also. It was my Valentine's day dinner with Anakin. It was a great experience. Very romantic and great food and decor. Thank you Master! I also got to cross something else off my bucket list! :) #253 -Go to the Olive Garden for the first time I was listening to a song yesterday by Adam Lambert and the words "I'm here for your entertainment" in the song made me smile. This is one of my new favorite songs!! I love it!!!! I love the video too!! OMG....he is SOOOO damn HAWT!!!! YUM!! My type of guy....I'm willing to bet he's a Dom. You can tell he's got a bit of a dark edge going on. Very sexy! He says in the song: "Baby I’m in control Take the pain Take the pleasure I’m the master of both Close your eyes, not your mind Let me into your soul I’m gonna work it ’til your totally blown" and also... "bet you thought that I was soft and sweet You thought an angel swept you off your feet Well I’m about to turn up the heat I’m here For Your Entertainment" I feel like I am here for my Master Anakin and A's entertainment. I sure like to make things interesting for them both and can be quite a handful sometimes. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

First time at Sin City and an incredible night with A!

I hope that I can find the right words to describe the last 24 hours. It was magical, sexual, incredible and amazing!! It was honestly one of the wildest and best nights that I have had in a very long time. I get to cross a few things off my bucket list and have many memories of an incredible Valentine's day!! I hope everyone else is having a great Valentine's day too!! :) I packed my bag for Sin City and dressed in my corset underneath my clothes. A came to pick me up at 3 pm and looked handsome as always. It was raining and I was glad I remember the umbrella. We got to King George Skytrain and was lucky to find a spot. The 2010 Olympics are happening in Vancouver right now and it was very busy at the skytrain and downtown. We exchanged Valentine's day presents in the car. He got me the cutest teddy bear that had bondage rope on it which he did himself. I need to take a picture to show this to the readers. It's adorable!! I also got some M&M's which are my favorite. Yum!! A got some massage oil so he can keep it in his toy bag to give him massages whenever he feels like getting one and we are out at events and such. I also got him some Purdy's goodies which he started enjoying on the way to Vancouver. We headed downtown and could feel the energy down there with the Olympics happening. I took a few pictures which I hope to post as soon as they are uploaded on our new computer. I was happy to get a latte at Starbucks and then we headed to Davie Street. I wanted to show A a few stores there like Little Sister's and The Love's Touch. We went to The Love's Touch first and checked out some cool stuff. I considered trying on some PVC but I didn't want to get out of my corset. I picked up some Kama Sutra Lubricant which Master requested. I also got some sexy red thigh-hi fishnets. We went for dinner afterwords at a really nice Greek Restaurant called Characters Tavern. It was my first time there. I enjoyed a glass of Greek wine and A ordered me some delicious salmon sovlaki. We had a pretty serious talk there and I kind of wish we could have had it at another time. It was our Valentine's dinner and supposed to be romantic. I felt like I screwed that up a bit by bringing up the past. The dinner was good and we headed to Little Sister's for some shopping for toys. I picked up an English Tawse there from Bound2Please. I had wanted it for my birthday so was glad to go back and get it. It was also on my bucket list: #63 -Buy an English Tawse A picked up a copy of The Loving Dominant by John Warren which is a great book to read for a new Dominant who is learning and new. Master Anakin read this years ago and it helped him a lot to be the Master he is today. I saw a few books there but then saw one called Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories by Rachel Kramer Bussel. I read one part of the book and then decided to get it. "My trousers are on the chair. "Go and bring me the belt from them, pet," he says. He doesn't take his eyes from mine until I walk past him on my way to do his bidding. "You can reimburse me with tears, Tess. I think that will do for now." Ah, I think, a smile he can't see stretching across my face as I feel my own excitement start to build again, that is a price I am more than willing to pay." I started to act like a bit of a brat on the way to Sin City and A got very Dominant with me. I even had to sing a song on the street which was a bit humiliating but he wanted to teach me a lesson of who was in control. Granville Street was a complete gong-show. TONS of people there for the Olympics and tons of energy and spirit. Lots of Canadian flags and singing and different people. We had to go through a huge crowd to get to Sin City. We tried to find a bathroom to get dressed up in but had a hell of a time with how busy it was. So we found an underground parking lot and a discreet area to get changed. This felt very exhibitionist to me getting dressed out in public. A wore a very neat outfit for Valentine's day and I wore my black PVC skirt and red corset and goth boots. We got to Sin City and I could hardly believe we were really there!! This is on my bucket list and I have been wanting to go for years. It seems like it never seemed to happen and then finally I was really there!! I was SOOOO excited!!! #245 -Go to a Sin City event in Vancouver It was the Valentine's day event there and lots of really neat people dressed in Fetish wear and close to naked. Lots of eye candy everywhere. A and I both checked out the sexy women there. YUM!! I took in the atmosphere which was amazing. I enjoyed a vodka 7 and cuddled on the couch there with A. Sin City is like a nightclub with a fetish theme. There is couches there and a dungeon to play in and also dance floor with cages to dance in. One of the best nightclubs I have ever been to. I used to go clubbing in my 20's and I have never been to a place like Sin City. I am now addicted!! I want to go back again soon. I wish I had the words to describe the atmosphere there. It reminded me of a scene out of the Matrix movies at one point. There was erotic dancing and lots of people making out. We visited with friends and enjoyed some cuddles together. It was really nice. I enjoyed soaking it all up and loved the atmosphere there. There was techo rave type of music going on and A and I got onto the dance floor and started dirty dancing. There was rubbing against each other and lots of kissing and making out as we danced. I saw an opening in the one of the cages and we went into it. This was a VERY hot experience that I truly don't have the words to describe it. It was steaming HOT when we danced in there together. I grabbed onto the cage bars and rubbed my ass against him and we grinded and made out like crazy. The energy and connection between us was VERY, VERY intense. I said to him at one point "Can you feel the energy happening right now. Do you feel this too?" and he said yes. It was amazing!! A true chemical reaction was happening between us and the energy in Sin City and between us was just absolutely incredible!! I will never forget that moment with A and I. We went into the dungeon which is quite small and not like Rascal's or MVK. We also had no toys as I had checked my bag into the coat check and it would have cost money to go get the toys out. So A gave me a hand spanking and had me over the spanking bench. I pulled down my panties first which got me a warning. I guess you can't have a naked ass for the spanking. A gave me a hand spanking and then he beat my tits for a while after he took them out of my corset. I had wanted harder play but it was way too difficult without the toys and such. We went back onto the dance floor at one point. We danced and it was getting very warm on the dance floor. I was sweating. A decided to leave me at one point because he wanted a break. I was a little annoyed. I was surprised that my Dominant would leave me out on the dance floor where there was some guys who were trying to move in on me. I left pretty soon after he did and we had a small spat. I wanted a Dominant reaction which happened quickly. He put me in my place by pulling my hair and pinching my nipples. We found a chair which was available and I decided to give A a lap dance which he had asked for earlier in the night. I tried to give him a good show. I rubbed my ass against his crotch at one point and was hoping to get a reaction from him. We were running out of time to get to the skytrain and it was hard to leave the club. I wanted to stay later. Things were just getting exciting and the energy had increased a lot. Oh well!! There's always next time. :) My feet hurt from my boots so we stopped so I could change out of my skirt and boots. This was a pretty bold move but I had a few drinks and didn't think too much about it. A's outfit got quite a reaction from people on the street. We got to the skytrain station which had so much energy from the Olympics. People were loudly singing the Canadian Anthem and I decided to join in. There was some intoxicated people on the skytrain who wouldn't stop singing the Canadian Anthem and it was very wild. The skytrain is always a bit crazy on a normal Saturday night but it was even more so with the Olympics happening. I had to pee at one point due to all the drinks I had. We had to stop at Joyce Skytrain so I could find a place. This was pretty bold too. I walked down the street until I found a back alley and pulled down my pants to go pee. We got back onto the skytrain and then headed to the car. A was starving so we tried to find a place to eat. Nothing was open though. Even Tim Hortons was closed!! I mentioned going to park somewhere so we could be alone but A was hungry and mentioned that he needed a drink. I decided to phone Master to check and make sure it would be ok to ask him to come back to our place. He said yes and we headed there. Master was working on the new computer and said we could have the basement all to ourselves and A could spend the night. There is a couch down there and some Christmas lights. I got some blankets and chicken wings and drinks. Master told me to "have fun" and had a big smile because he knew we were going to get naughty. We had a picnic and enjoyed the food and some wine. Then one thing lead to another and we started to make out. A wanted to try out the new toy which I bought so the English Tawse was taken out and used on my ass. This is a really nice toy!! It has a very nice sting from it. I heard A take off his belt and I'm willing to bet he didn't see the big smile on my face while he was doing it. I had wanted this badly. He used his belt on my ass as well as the tawse. I enjoyed the play a lot. It was great to be able to play together and get a spanking. I love A's belt. Yum!!! It is my favorite toy to get spanked by. We started to discuss fantasies and A told me one of his. I think he was perhaps trying to give me a hint. He started talking about sucking his cock. He said "suck my cock, bitch" at one point and down I went to give him a blow job. He seemed to enjoy that a lot. *smiles* I sucked on his cock and then he decided he wanted to fuck me. I went to go get a condom and then we made love for the first time. It felt heavenly to have his cock inside my pussy fucking me. He fucked my doggy style at one point. Yum!! It's been a while since I had a lover outside of Anakin and this was a very special moment for me. I felt very close to A with being so intimate together. He made me cum by using his fingers after we fucked. I don't remember much after that orgasm. It was about 5 am and we were exhausted. I had permission from Master to sleep downstairs in our basement with A. We cuddled up together and fell asleep. It felt great to fall asleep in his arms after we had fucked for the first time. Amazing feeling!! I didn't get much sleep. Only a few hours. I woke up and went upstairs and Master was taking our son out to his parent's. The teen was at her Dad's this weekend. Master wanted to give A and I some alone time so we were able to take a shower together which was really nice. The warm water and soapy bodies rubbing up against each other. It was a nice way to start the day. We drove out to breakfast at Ricky's and then Home Depot so I could get some rope. A and I want to try doing more rope bondage so this will be good to have. He dropped me off and I'm still feeling like I'm on another planet. My mind keeps drifting back to last night and my time with A. What a night!! Thank you A for making my first time at Sin City so special and memorable. It was a wonderful evening together. I will never forget it... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

A little drunk and a lot horny

I have been waiting for Master to get home. He had to go drop off our teen at her Dad's tonight. There was supposed to be a sleepover happening but it didn't work out. He's been gone for a while now and I've gotten into the merlot. I am a little drunk and a lot horny. All I can think of is sex, sex, sex!!! I NEED to get fucked!! I have not been fucked in a week and I can think about is my Master's cock and how good it would feel in my ass right now. My masochistic soul is craving a beating. I was supposed to get punished earlier today but it got put on hold due to the new computer arriving from Dell and all the errands that I had to run to get ready for my date with A tomorrow to go to Sin City with him and Downtown Vancouver. I was out most of the day. Master told me he was going to go easy on me though as I had a rough night last night. The thing is...I don't want him to go easy on me. I want him to walk through that door tonight and take off his belt and beat my fucking ass black and blue. Then I want him to grab my hair and whisper in my ear his evil plans for me as he fucks my ass. I want to be fucked so hard in my ass that I feel it tomorrow as a reminder of my place. Then I want to beg for an orgasm and hopefully he will allow this if I am a really, really, really good girl. Sometimes I just REALLY need to get beaten and fucked and tonight is one of those times. I really, really, really need it!!!!! I am sexually frustrated and feeling like I need the control right now. I need a beating soooooo bad!!!!!!!!! Hopefully Darth Vader can walk through that door tonight and decide that I need one too... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

A harsh punishment from A

It seems like I can't seem to behave lately. Blame it on my period or perhaps the insomnia I've had or just because I'm a brat sometimes. I really got myself into trouble yesterday with both the men in my life. A had given me an order and I disobeyed him. He told me it was "unacceptable" and that I had a punishment coming to me. Then later in the day I got into trouble again but this time with Master Anakin!! I had not started dinner on time and we wound up eating pizza instead. I then proceeded to get mouthy with him which is not acceptable with him either. I was told that there was a physical punishment coming and he also chose one from the punishment jar. I will have half an hour corner time with my hands over my head after the punishment tomorrow. A came on MSN this morning and told me that he was coming over today to deal out the punishment to me. I was nervous and got the toys out. I also put in an Instead because I'm in the middle of my period and didn't want to bleed all over the place. I changed into a naughty schoolgirl outfit to surprise him. I waited for his call and anxiously paced around waiting for him. He came in and I served his tea and leftover pizza for lunch. We briefly talked and then he got down to business. I went upstairs to go to the bathroom and was surprised to see him in the bedroom waiting for me. He told me that I was going to be getting a cold shower!! This really shocked me and I was not too happy about it. I had spent some time getting all pretty for him and didn't want to go into the shower. I also have never had that kind of punishment and REALLY did NOT want to do it. I got my ass paddled, flogged and spanked (while I laughed a bit at times because I was still in a bratty frame of mind) and then he pulled my hair to lead me into the bathroom to put me into the shower. I literally threw myself at his feet to try to beg him not to do it. No luck though. We got into the bathroom and I tried everything to get out of this punishment. I even had a temper tantrum and stomped my feet. When that didn't work I tried to be nice and beg him. He stepped towards me at one point and I thought he might slap me and I flinched. I have to admit to being a bit disappointed that he didn't. *smiles* I like to be slapped around. I was told to "strip" and get into the shower. It was REALLY cold!! Apparently it was not cold enough because he changed the water temperature to a colder one which sent out shrieks from me and screams. This was a very harsh punishment which was very effective for me as I don't want it to happen again. I am going to try very hard to not disobey Sir again. I was close to tears when he stopped and held onto me. I was very shaky and in a very deep subspace and also very wet and cold. He wrapped me in towels and reassured me and we cuddled for a bit. I felt that I need more spankings. He commented that I needed a punishment that was not spanking related because I like spankings too much. I'm not sure if A realizes though that I NEED spankings to keep me in line. Sore ass = submissive girl. I wanted to hurt. I felt that he needed to spank me hard and he had told me yesterday that he would. I needed him to follow through. I respect him a lot more if he is consistent and hard on me. I've asked him to be less lenient on me and more strict. I thrive when I'm controlled and kept in line. He was very Dominant and strict when he put me back over the end of the bed and went to work on my ass. He used several different toys and had me spread my legs at one point and spanked my inner thighs which sent out gasps and screams. He wanted me to try to be quiet during the spanking which was VERY hard at times. I will admit that I really wanted him to use his belt on me. I associate a belt with punishment and I had wanted to ask him for this but was way too shy with him. I'm not sure if A knows how much I have that fetish and how much I yearn for that sometimes. It is a need in me that I can't explain. I felt sooooooo submissive after that harsh spanking. I cried a bit and promised over and over to be a really good girl and not misbehave. I was a well beaten submissive who would have done anything for Sir at that point. I tried to show him my submission after that punishment. I was at his feet at one point like a good little submissive. He said he wanted a massage and I was happy to give him that. I tried to get him to relax and take his tension and stress away with the massage. We got to cuddle briefly because I had to leave to go to the school. It felt heavenly to be in his arms with a well beaten and bruised ass and feeling so extremely submissive.... ..... Master Anakin is home tomorrow and I will be getting my other punishment at that time for my misbehavior with him. *sighs* I better learn a lesson or my ass is going to be bruised and sore all the time!! I sure don't want anymore cold showers either. Hopefully this doesn't give Master any ideas of ways to punish me. It was SOOOO cold and I hated every minute of it. I had to take a hot shower when I came home to warm up from it. I am not able to get away with anything these days with a Master and Dominant who are both strict and making sure I'm a good well behaved girl. I can't wait for the weekend!! I am going downtown with A on Saturday and then to Sin City!! Nothing will stop me from going unless an emergency happens. I have wanted to go and really want to make this happen. We will have our Valentine's day celebration at that time together. Sunday is my Valentine's day with Master. I love both the men in my life. I don't know what I would do without them both. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

The journey of life

We got some family news today that we were waiting for. I have to admit that it's stressed me out. My father-in-law goes in for major heart surgery in less than two weeks. He is going into the same hospital which my Dad passed away in. It's going to be very strange going back to that hospital as I have not been back there since my Dad died. It's hard to believe that it's almost been a year since my Dad passed away. The anniversary of his death is coming up in May. I feel like I have slowly moved into the acceptance part of his death. I have my days where I think of him but not like I did in the beginning. I miss him a lot though. My sister is planning a very special memorial for the first anniversary of his death. This will be a good way for us to deal with that painful anniversary. I hope my FIL will be ok. I will be praying for him. I will no longer be getting any car rides so I'm on my own for a while. This is going to force me to do a lot more walking which is good for me but will be draining. There is also the family stress from this situation. Anakin's mom has terminal cancer so this will be putting a lot more strain on an already stressful situation. I will keep everyone posted as to how things go.... .... We got some exciting news today! Our new computer from Dell is coming on Friday!! Woo hoo!! We can transfer our old hard drive over to the new one and finally be able to upload pictures again!! I've missed being able to post pictures for HNT and all the different ones that we've taken over this last month. Hopefully I'll be able to post some very soon. Master Anakin is off work all of next week and will be working on getting our new computer up and running. :) Yesterday was our local munch and I was able to go with A. Master had other plans and was not able to attend. It was good to see some friends including my friend, Shann who I played with at the Dead Sexy Queer play party in October. I was able to Top her that night and enjoyed it. I commented last night that she needed a spanking and it made her blush. I'd like to see her again for coffee and maybe plan a night out with her. I think it would be a lot of fun to Top Shann again. I also met a few new friends there including someone through collarme.com who intrigued me and was interested in maybe being casual play partners. We'll have to see what happens. It feels like my plate is a bit full right now with my relationship with Master Anakin and also A. A and I are still so new to our relationship and we are still getting to know each other. I feel like I am learning more new things about him every time we talk. I admit that I'm falling for him and I have not felt this way for anyone other than Master in a very long time. It's been challenging at times but we are growing closer and establishing our roles as Dominant and submissive. I was being very good up until this morning and didn't obey him. I've got a punishment coming and I feel badly for screwing up. It's hard to get away with much when I've got Master and A riding my ass. They both make sure I'm following my rules and being a good girl. I find it very hard to get away with anything now. lol. I am supposed to be going to Sin City on Saturday with A. It seems like it never seems to work out with Sin so I hope that this time it will. I just started my period yesterday though. I hope it's over by the weekend. Sin City is having their Valentine's day celebration and I'd like to share that with A. Sunday will be spent with Master Anakin and we have plans to go out for dinner and celebrate together and also with our kids. We will be celebrating our 7 year anniversary of moving into our townhouse that day on Valentine's day. Hard to believe it's been that long!! Where did all the years go? You wake up one day and suddenly life has completely changed and my kids have grown up on me. I wouldn't change a minute of it though. I learned a lot from the death of my Dad last year. The journey of life is precious and one day you don't wake up anymore and it's over. You better enjoy it while it lasts... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

My Bodyguard

Today has been a bit of a difficult day but had it's moments of happiness and submission. A and I had some miscommunication and he came over to see me today. It hasn't been easy. Poly never is but it feels like it's been a bit of a rough start for A and I. He came over and I got punished extremely hard. I'm having a very difficult time sitting down tonight. *ouchies* My bum REALLY hurts!!! I needed it so much and asked him to punish me. I got exactly what I deserved and my ass has some nasty bruises on top of the ones from MVK on Saturday night. I got some really, really hard paddling from A. I was glad to get punished and pay the price for being a bad girl. A and I have done a lot of communicating today and things are much better now. I was chatting with A and went to eat dinner with Master. A movie was on which we hadn't seen in a long time called The Bodyguard. This movie always brings out some intense emotions in me. It takes me back to a different time of my life. I went to see the movie back in December 1992 with Master. We had dated in 1991 but broke up and I had to make a choice between two men that I loved dearly. I'm not sure if either of them will ever know how difficult that choice was. I remember struggling with my feelings that I was in love with them both. I didn't want to chose. I sure wish I knew about poly back then although I'm not sure my ex would have ever agreed to it. He was working and I had really wanted to see The Bodyguard so Master said he'd go with me for opening night. It was snowing heavily. I almost slipped as we approached the theatre but he caught me. The movie moved me deeply and I cried through a few scenes. I thought it was so deeply romantic. I had buried my feelings so deep at that point for Master. I didn't want him to see them. We left the movie theatre and I wanted to hold his hand so badly. We went back to my apartment and we shared a drink. I wanted him so badly. I wanted him to make love to me. I held myself back though. I was already taken by another. I had made my choice. I had to live with it. It was not fair to him and I struggled sooooooo much in that moment that he said he had to go. All I wanted was him to stay...."Please....please stay. Make love to me. I am in love with you" I had wanted to tell him...but I couldn't. He left and I broke down crying. I was in love with him and I knew it. But I knew that it could not be at that point of my life. I again buried those feelings for him. A year later and my ex proposed and I agreed to be his wife although I loved another man. I was married in 1994 and Master Anakin attended that wedding and shared the happy day with us. Then that song from The Bodyguard came on. I was thinking that entire time of Master and that night of the movie. And it felt wrong. I was supposed to be thinking of my husband, not another man. But I could not deny those feelings. I tried so hard though. I kept my feelings and thoughts to myself until November 23, 1996...a few years later after I got married. I finally couldn't do it anymore. I asked him to come over and decided to take a chance. I was in love with him and he needed to know it. I had no idea if he loved me the way that I did. He never gave me any indication of that since our break up years earlier. He had covered his feelings as deep as I had. I will NEVER forget the look on his face as I said those words that I waited years to say. "I am in love with you. I always have been. Even if we can't be together...I will always love you" I told him. He then told me he loved me too and we kissed. 7 years and we had both buried those feelings so deep and then they all came flying out. He was going to leave at one point and he grabbed my ass and that was it. The clothes came off and he made love to me for the first time. That passion, lust and love that had built up inside of us both exploded. I remember how it felt to have his cock in me for that first time. I didn't care if it was only for one night. I was prepared for the possibility that we could never be together but I NEEDED him sooooo much that night. We have been together ever since. I took a chance and told him my feelings and it changed our lives. I sometimes wonder why it took me so long. I am so glad that I did though and that we are together. I can't imagine my life without him. He is my force and I am completely in love with him.... This song from The Bodyguard reminds me so much of that night of the movie and my feelings that I had...the lyrics take me back to that time: I Have Nothing by Whitney Houston Share my life, take me for what I am Cause I'll never change all my colours for you Take my love, I'll never ask for too much Just all that you are and everything that you do I don't really need to look very much further I don't want to have to go where you don't follow I won't hold it back again, this passion inside Can't run from myself There's nowhere to hide (Your love I'll remember forever) Don't make me close one more door I don't wanna hurt anymore Stay in my arms if you dare Or must I imagine you there Don't walk away from me... I have nothing, nothing, nothing If I don't have you, you, you, you. You see through, right to the heart of me You break down my walls with the strength of you love I never knew love like I've known it with you Will a memory survive, one I can hold on to I love you Master Anakin...you will always be my bodyguard.... ....... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

MVK night with A

I wrote a blog post about Friday and the day that I got to spend with A. I was a lucky girl. Got to play and have an orgasm and felt good. Master came home and we ordered pizza for our movie & merlot night. We were a bit surprised when our kids both got an offer to go to a movie over at a friend's house. We had some unexpected alone time. I was wearing my nightgown and no panties. His hands slipped under it and started to feel my pussy. We were watching Predator Vs Aliens. I don't remember most of the movie. He slowly tortured my pussy. Fingers in and out and lots of pinching my clit and getting me VERY excited. He never put too much pressure onto my pussy to allow me to cum though. He joked that the movie was turning me on. It was his magical fingers which were turning me on though and made it VERY hard to concentrate. The movie ended and we went upstairs so I could use my Hitachi and had the second orgasm for the day. I was completely worn out by it and was ordered to get to bed. I slept right through the night which is a rare treat for me now. It felt heavenly after days of insomnia. I had really wanted sex and woke up trying to pounce on Master which got an aggressive response. I was just going to have to wait for cock until he wanted it. *pouts* It's hard to be patient when your so horny though!! I got on MSN and did some chatting with A. He was hoping to go to MVK's workshop on resistance play and play party and hoped that maybe I could go. I was hoping to go too but unsure of my body's plans regarding PMS. Thankfully my period did not start last night and Master gave me permission to go as long as my chores were done. I got them done and packed my bag with the toys and outfit. A picked me up at 5 pm and we were on the way to MVK!! I have not gone in about a year so I was pretty excited about going. We had a good talk in the car. There is still so much to learn about one another. I am constantly surprised with learning more about him. The workshop was a lot of fun and very interesting. I've been doing a lot of resistance play through the years with Master Anakin but wasn't sure of the name of it. I enjoy their workshops. It ended and I got changed into my leather skirt, red corset, fishnets, goth boots and feather boa. A was hungry and wanted us to go eat dinner. I had already eaten though and didn't want to leave after I was all dressed up. He left to go eat and I was left alone and feeling very guilty. I didn't obey him when he told me to go with him and that ate me up a bit inside after he left. I considered going after him but wasn't sure where he went to eat. He came back as the auction was going on. There was certain people being auctioned off to do scenes and that was pretty fun to watch. There was a schoolgirl who was being auctioned off and I knew that if Master was with me that I would have offered a bid of her for him. I know he would have loved to play with her. :) MVK had great atmosphere and lots of people attending. I was lost in my own world at times as I was on my leash and wearing my rope collar which A made. I really wanted to play with him and didn't feel nervous like I did at Rascal's for our first time. He gave me a bit of time to prepare and got the toys ready. We went up to the cage which was one of the few stations available to play in. He was going to tie me to it and he also had me in bondage cuffs. I was facing a bunch of people though which made me very nervous. I asked him to please put a blindfold on me. It's hard to concentrate with a bunch of people staring at you as your in bondage and in a cage wearing just panties and boots and corset. He tried to spank me/flog me in the cage but was having a hard time with it as there was limited room to swing. So he asked me to go to the outside of the cage at one point. I LOVE being in a cage!! Makes me feel like a good little pet. I had rope bondage around my waist and the bondage cuffs on my wrists and blindfold on. I also had his leash too tied to the cage so I couldn't escape and get away from the pain he was going to inflict on me. And that pain was delicious!!! Mmm... He used many different toys on my ass. I don't remember which toy got used first or last though. I was lost in our play and the endorphins started going. He was so extremely Dominant during the play which turned me on like crazy. He's very natural at being a Dom. He seemed to get inside my mind during our play last night. He knew to take me to the edge and sent me far over it. I would have done ANYTHING for A. The desire to submit was completely in my heart. I struggled in my bonds as he gave me some really hard strokes at times with the flogger and different paddles and that dreaded chain flogger!! I tell ya...next time I'm leaving that one at home! Ack! That one had me dancing around trying to avoid it which got my head put right into the cage part and told to "not move" which was hard. I was soooo wet and I knew it. I think he knew it too! There was a build up on chemistry happening which was intense and unlike any other play that I've had at MVK before with anyone. I asked for more pain several times and wanted to take more and more. My ass stung and was set on fire but I wanted more. He touched me and it sent sparks flying. It was magical and I'm not sure I even have the words to describe it all. VERY hot!!! I asked him at one point if he wanted to hit me in the upper back. He hadn't done this type of play before and was very careful with it but that was intense. He used the flogger and also wooden spoon. He had to try to keep me still during this which was hard. It hurt at times!! Ouchies!! I'm pretty sure we put on a hell of a show for the audience. My blindfold came off at one point and I noticed how many people were staring at us. Then he untied me and turned me around. The corset came down and my boobs were exposed to him for some cruel torture. My tits get extra sensitive during PMS so this was also a struggle for me at times. He used the wooden spoon on them and there is some VERY impressive black and blue bruises on them today from our play with my breasts. My nipples were so hard. He also used clothespins on them. I tried to reach out a bit from my bonds to kiss him but he wouldn't allow it yet. I had to take more pain first. I went into some a deep subspace. A lot of that play is fuzzy because I was so mentally gone on endorphins at that point. I loved the play with A but I most enjoyed the time in the aftercare area of MVK. A looked SO handsome in his outfit and had been so Dominant for the evening. I felt completely submissive to him. I snuggled up to him and felt so close to him. I had a very intense desire to please also after our hard play. We did a lot of making out and he did some scratching on my body as well as touching me all over. This sent me into endorphin heaven. He said it looked like my body was having convulsions. It felt SOOOOOOOOO good when he scratched me all over and was touching me. His young fingers making me feel so good. I had the biggest desire to want to cum. I honestly thought I might cum just from his touch alone. He tried to make me cum on demand but I wasn't able to do that and told him I needed some stimulation. He stuck his finger in my pussy and then fingered my clit and told me to "cum for Him" and I exploded. I curled up into a ball and told him that it felt like "bliss" afterwords. Ahhhh....that was amazing!!!! He wanted a massage and I was happy to serve him with that. I wish I had brought massage oil (note to self for next time) but tried my best to give him a nice one. I enjoyed kissing his back and making out a bit at the same time. The wrist bondage cuffs were on me but not locked together and a reminder of my place as I gave him the massage. I was so turned on even after the orgasm. I kept noticing his belt at one point and made it pretty obvious that I was hoping to have some although he never took it off. *pouts* I was craving some belt strokes but that didn't happen. I certainly was hoping he would. Then I asked him if he would give me an OTK spanking as he had not done that before. Over his knee I went and he spanked my ass nice and hard. I really enjoyed this spanking. It's a lot more personal when it's a hand spanking and he's got really nice hands for spanking my bottom. Yum!!!! I started to age regress a bit and did some thumb sucking. This seemed to surprise A and he didn't seem to like that. *blushes* The little girl part of me is always there though and sometimes I do age regression after hard play. I wanted to discuss it more but it didn't feel like the appropriate time after our wonderful play and time together. We went out to socialize a bit and I felt incredibly submissive at this point. Head bowed in submission and wanted to just be close to him. I didn't want to leave and go back to reality. I wanted to be on my leash and wearing his collar. It was hard to leave MVK and I almost felt a bit of bottom drop happening. He noticed I was a bit quiet at times and it was because I was in subspace but also having a hard time going back to reality. I wanted more time with him. But I had a curfew for 2 am and we had to go. We had a good talk on the way home. The submission in my heart was so full. I wanted to give myself to him completely at MVK and the desire was so intense at times. I can honestly say that I have not felt that for many partners...only Master Anakin, Master R and A. I almost felt close to crying at one point on the ride home because I felt so submissive. We kissed and said goodbye and I came inside to Master. He was impressed with the bruises and took several pictures especially of my tits. We need to get our new computer and then I'll upload those. I can't wait to see them!! You should see my tits today!! Ack!! Some really nasty bruises to remember my play with A. He wanted all the details so I filled him in. He slipped his finger into my pussy and noticed that it was soaked. "What a wet little bitch" he commented on it. "Fucking slut goes out to get beat from her young Dom and then comes home to me all beaten up and horny". I got slapped and then he fell onto me and we started to fool around. I felt his cock which was very hard. Apparently he had been watching porn before I arrived home so he was ready to go!! I wasn't the only one who was excited. I begged him for his cock. "Beg for it, bitch or your not getting it" he said to me with a sadistic smile. I begged as hard as I could for it. Clothes came off and he entered my pussy and we fucked. Mmmmmm...it was really great sex!! I loved to feel him inside me pounding away in my pussy. We always have such great sex after I've gotten beaten at events. I was even more worked up because of all my time with A. He came in me and I cleaned up and we cuddled a bit and he told me how submissive I was. I was speaking in a very submissive tone. He is happy with A's Dominant influence over me lately. He said it's kept me in line when he's not able to keep track of me. He told me to get the Hitachi and told me he was going to make me cum again. He told me a fantasy while he used it on my clit and got me off. I will keep you wondering what the fantasy was...mmmmm...YUM!!! I came hard and then suddenly felt starving. He told me he was going to make me a snack and get me some water. I laid there with my pussy throbbing and my head spinning. It was almost 3 am at this point and the endophins were in overtime. It was complete masochistic heaven and bliss. My tits hurt SOOOO much from the pain they were given. Master Anakin squeezed them a few times during sex which made them extra sensitive. I only got 5 hours of sleep but it was worth it for the wonderful evening at MVK with A. I will never forget it. I am feeling soooooo submissive today also. I know my place and want to serve my two men in my life. A is becoming more and more important to me. I am feeling more comfortable letting myself go with him and for him to take control more. There have been a few struggles along the way but it's all been worth it. Last night was amazing!! Thank you A for a really great night!! :) May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Play time with A

I was a lucky slave girl today. A got to come over for another visit. He forgot his jacket and flogger here and we planned to continue with where we left off yesterday. We got interrupted during my Hitachi time. I was not able to get the orgasm last night. I tried but Master wanted to deny me. What a mean old man! I was allowed to cum today though. I phoned Master at work to make sure I had his full permission to cum if A wanted me to. Master told me to "enjoy myself" and he wanted all the details. He had two demands. He wanted pictures and he wanted twitter updates and a phone call on his lunch break. (which I made sure to do) There was some pictures taken although we are still waiting for our new computer to arrive to be able to upload them. :) A phoned me to arrange a time to get together. 10 am. I had to hurry to clean up and get my chores done. I made sure to bring out the toys and take a hot steaming bath. I like to look pretty when I'm getting ready for a date. I made sure that my girlie parts were clean and decided that I would surprise him by dressing up for him. I wore my leather skirt, black lace panties, white revealing blouse, and cute girlie socks. I greeted him at the door with a kiss and he came inside. I think he was a bit surprised to see me all dressed up and his tea which was waiting for him hot and ready. I like to anticipate when it comes to serving and wanted to make sure A was pleased which he seemed to be. I tried to remember my protocol rules. Make sure to ask him when leaving the room. He wanted eye contact restrictions at times and he was very strict and demanding...just the way I like in a Dominant. *soft smiles* We spent a while talking and warming up to each other. I got to make him lunch. He instructed me to make him a tuna sandwich and I tried to put some effort into making sure it was a good one for Sir. There was a point that it was becoming obvious that it was going to be play time. We did some rope bondage and he tried to tie me to the coffee table. He decided he wanted us in the basement. The leather skirt was pulled down and he tied me with his rope to the punching bag in the basement. I have done "boxing bondage" (for a HNT picture) before so this was not new for me but it's been a while. I was a bit surprised when he told me that he was going to put the hood on me. I was all tied up and couldn't go anywhere. Helpless and all I could do was surrender to what he had planned for me. I went into a deep subspace when the hood was put on me. Sensory deprivation is a way to get me to submit to things very quickly. He tied me tight and then started to spank me. I got a red ass and he used many different toys on me. I remember lots of paddles and a few with the homemade whip. There was also some flogging with his new flogger that he made. Yummy! I love to be flogged. That made my ass dance a bit and he told me to "be still" and not move around". I tried but sometimes I'd let out a moan and try to move my ass around. It hurt!! He can be mean when he wants to be. He was very dominant when he spoke to me. His instructions were very clear. I tried to take the pain for him. I floated into a deep subspace and he eventually got me down and into his arms for some aftercare and reassurance. I felt very close to A. I was also very turned on. I loved kissing him. Soooo sensual and erotic. Turned me on soooo much and made me wet. His fingers went into my pussy and I started to ride them a bit. I really needed an orgasm!!! OMG!! I was soooo fucking wet!!!!!! Whoops...I better not swear or I will get my mouth washed out with soap like I did yesterday for my punishment from A. We went upstairs and the Hitachi was brought out and Rabbit vibe. I had gotten changed into a 1950's outfit that makes me feel like a submissive housewife. My panties were taken off and I came over to make out with him on the bed. It felt a bit funny with me wearing that outfit and then making out with my young Dom who's half my age. The sparks flew and hands were all over each other. I spread my legs for him as he used the rabbit to fuck my pussy hard. My pussy was sooooo soaking wet. I couldn't help but blush a few times at how wet it got. I'm such a desperate housewife!! I called myself a "cougar" a few times as I pounced on him. I got close to cumming and asked permission to cum which he finally gave me. "Cum for me" he said and I obeyed. I exploded in a huge orgasm and curled up into a ball afterwords. He held me and I felt like I was in heaven. It was incredible...sooooooo amazing and erotic. The orgasm blew my mind. I couldn't concentrate on much after that. I went into my slave role and got started on pleasing him. He got a really nice massage and lots of intimacy and affection. I tried my best to please him. At one point I gave him a look and started to remove his belt a bit. I tried to give him a big hint of what I wanted. The pain slut wanted some attention on her ass. I needed to feel his belt across my ass. He was happy to give me some hard strokes which sent me into a very deep subspace. I was a bit surprised when he told me that he was going to make me walk down to the school so I could get my daily walk in. My legs felt like jello. My mind was a blur. My entire focus was on him and pleasing him. I wanted to just be close to him. He sat on the couch and I was on my knees....the leash in his hands...a very dominant look in his eyes...and told me that I was a "good girl". I love to hear those words. *smiles* It was a great day and play time with A. :) This is the best part of having a poly relationship. I love the NRE (new relationship energy) and the connection I feel with A. I feel submissive to my two men in my life...my Master (Anakin) and A. I hope that I make them both very happy. TGIF!! I hope everyone has a great weekend!! ~May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

A punishment from A

I have been having a few problems lately with A. Poly is not easy. It's hard enough in a normal relationship with two people but you add more to that dynamic and it's going to be a struggle. A and I have had a lot to work through. I wrote a blog post earlier but deleted it when I realized that I should have talked to him first before writing about our problems. I am used to writing when I have issues come up and was feeling very nervous earlier today and overwhelmed. A phoned me and let me know he was on the way around 1 pm today. I had made arrangements for sitting but only until 3 pm so we have limited time to try to discuss things. I was so nervous about him coming over that I asked permission to have a glass of wine before he arrived. This helped calmed my nerves a lot. I paced around waiting for him to arrive and my heart almost stopped when I heard the doorbell. A looked handsome and also a bit nervous. I told him about writing him an e-mail as well as an earlier blog post (which was deleted after discussing it with A). He checked the computer as I got him some tea. He told me that we needed to deal with my punishment right away. I got the toys for him and then noticed he added a few of his own. I was extremely nervous when I noticed his belt laying there as well as his flogger. I knew I had a punishment coming. I had been a really bratty bitch the last few days. I knew that I had to take it. Over the couch I went and it didn't take long to feel the first few strokes on my ass. I wore some sexy red panties for him to show off my ass. I guess I somehow knew that he would be spanking me so I wanted to be sure to be wearing nice panties ....just in case. *winks* I got lost in the endorphins of the play. I felt his belt and flogger and I know he used other toys although I am not sure all of what he used. The flogger felt very similar to mine. The paddle felt a bit like the belt at times. It all blended together making me feel VERY wet!! I needed a bathroom break at one point and came back to more pain and punishment. We started to make out after some more punishment on my ass. I felt his finger go into my pussy and I'm VERY sure it was very wet for him. He told me to get my Hitachi and I obeyed. I started to use it when we got interrupted. Ahhhh...this is life sometimes. I was SOOOOOO close to cumming!! The door had a visitor and we had to hurry to clean up the toys. Ack!! My pussy was sooooo wet and needy and I didn't have much more time to spend with A. He phoned me a little while ago and things are much better between us. We've done a lot of communicating and I'm glad that we've worked things out. I am hoping to see him tomorrow and he's talked about maybe bringing some rope over... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala