Happy Canada Day!

Happy Canada Day to all our Canadian readers. I almost wound up having a Canada Day baby many years ago. Leia turns 15 years old today and missed being born on Canada Day by one day. She's going away for almost a week and plans to spend some time with her Dad. She leaves today on her trip. I'm really excited about my Canada day plans this year! Master Anakin has the day off and we have an overnight planned for it! My mom has offered to take Skywalker overnight so we could enjoy some alone time together. Overnights are so rare these days. We take advantage of the opportunity to often play together and try to connect with some private time. I was up early this morning to spend some time with Master. He hinted that there will be lots of time on the darkside and that my "ass better get ready for it". I am very excited and hoping that there will be a red bottom involved but also some rope play too! I'd love to get tied up again. I've been craving it lately. I left him a note on Fetlife this morning that said: i can't wait until tomorrow. i need some time on the darkside with you, Master. Craving your pain and giving you pleasure in return. i want You. i need You. i LOVE You!!! XOXO He responded by leaving me a message on twitter which said: "There WILL be rope, and pain, and ... did I mention pain? Can't wait for the opportunity. xo My slave" It's going to be a great Canada day! I'm putting up a picture of my tit and a temporary tattoo of a Canadian flag. It's to show the spirit of Canada day and to celebrate! Happy July 4th to all the readers who celebrate that holiday too which is coming up! Summer is here and it's time to celebrate and enjoy the lazy days of sunshine and endless summer nights. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Sunny summer days

Today has been a really good day so far. I have been sleeping well and feeling a lot better about things lately. The kids are now officially on summer vacation and the sunshine is out and the dark clouds have gone away. I love summer time! The lazy days of summer where you sit around in the sunshine and go down to the beach. We are really excited about our family vacation which is just over two weeks away! I am SO excited to go back to the Rocky Mountains again and also Alberta. We have some really fun things planned for the week we are going to be gone! Leia's birthday party went very well despite a bit of drama over some boys that are fighting over her. lol. She's just like her mom. She likes all the young boys and they are all coming around and starting to get interested in my teen daughter. I still can't believe she's 15 years old! Where did all the years go? She's suddenly grown up on me and becoming a young woman. I am putting up a picture of two eagles that live near us. We always see them looking for victims on the ground. I went out for a morning walk on Sunday and one of the eagles was trying to get a poor little bunny hopping around the open field. They sure can be predators. I've also seen them go after other birds. I see a lot of wildlife with living out in the country. I'm a true country girl at heart. :) I love sunny summer days. I've been doing a lot of hiking and spending time outdoors. I'm hoping to go for another walk later today. I managed to sneak in a quick orgasm earlier and a hot shower. It felt great! I'm just waiting for Master to come home and get me so we can go shopping and have some retail therapy! I want to get a few things for our trip too. He's home today and we are close and feeling very connected. Our force has been very strong lately and I am more in love than ever with my handsome Jedi! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

A hike through the woods

I've been very busy the last few days with preparing for Leia's 15th birthday party. We are hosting a really big bbq at our place for a lot of family and the teen's friends tomorrow. My baby girl is turning 15 years old! It is sure interesting being the parent of a teen daughter. I can feel the grey hairs starting already. It already feels like teen world happening today. Lots of drama already happening and the party hasn't even started. We have not had much privacy and not many breaks. I really wanted to get out in the sunshine yesterday and enjoy some of the summer weather. It felt like a perfect day with the sun shining and blue skies and fluffy white clouds. I was stuck inside for most of the day though with birthday stuff. We managed to get our chores done so we could take the kids out for dinner. We sat out in the patio section of the restaurant and enjoyed our dinner together. Then we took the kids out to Campbell Valley Park. It's a beautiful park with lots of trails and wildlife. I love it there. It's so peaceful and calm. We went hiking on one of the trails and Master gave me the camera to take pictures. I am putting up 3 pictures which I took during our hike. It's rare for me to get the opportunity to take pictures. I really enjoyed it. The park is so beautiful! I hope you enjoy the pictures. I'm proud of them. I think they turned out great! I'm just learning how to use the camera and really enjoy taking pictures. It was really fun! Click on the pictures to enlarge them and get a better look. We were able to get the kids away from their electronics and spend some family time together. The teen moaned and groaned a bit but eventually told us she had enjoyed the outing so she could have some space from all of her friends. My daughter has a huge social network. There are constant teens which come and go from our place. It can be draining at times. She had a sleepover last night here. Tonight is another sleepover here. And tomorrow is a multi-sleepover with THREE teen girls staying over with us. She wanted more but we had to draw the line somewhere. Our place is kind of small for having so many people staying with us. I'm seriously not sure how I'm going to survive this. lol. I bet some of the readers can probably relate to me if you have teens in your house. Is it just me or do they eat you out of house and home too? I'm constantly cooking and feeding kids. :) The lack of privacy has meant that there hasn't been much time for fun and play. I wish I could get a spanking but that's not possible for a few days. There is hope in sight though!! Our daughter is going to her Dad's families place for a week!! And Skywalker might be going away on a short trip too at the same time! That means....time for play time on the darkside! I'm looking forward to when I can get into something sexy and play with some more rope or toys. I could really use a spanking right now! I hope everyone is enjoying the weekend! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Happy HNT - Tied up with rope

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) everyone! This picture was taken last weekend during some play time with my old flame, Max. We enjoyed some rope play together. It was a lot of fun and a nice escape for a while. Please click on the picture to enlarge it and get a better look. Please leave us a comment and let us know what you think of the picture. We'd love to hear from you and appreciate your feedback. Check out Osbasso's blog if you are interested in participating in the HNT series. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Cancer sucks!

I saw a retweet on twitter today and was curious and went to go check it out. It was about a young girl that has cancer and is in the final stages of her life. It lead me to the mom's journal which is the journey of her daughter's cancer. I spent most of the day reading the journal and her words. This is honestly one of the most real blogs that I have read in a very long time. Her words really captured my soul and made me do a lot of thinking and I shed some tears while reading it. You can follow their journey on twitter by adding them as liftupEllie. Life is not fair!! Her daughter is very close to age of my young son. They were both born in the same year. I just kept thinking that cancer really sucks!! What would it be like to lose your child that is so young to cancer? How does one really get through something like that? I can't even imagine that pain that mom must be feeling in her heart right now. I walked down to my son's school with tears in my eyes and gave him the biggest hug when he got out of class. I really hope that I will never have to deal with one of my children having cancer. I can't imagine losing my children before I go. We are supposed to go first and then our children. I know it doesn't always work that way but I don't think I would ever recover from something like that. It feels like my life has been touched by cancer from an early age. I went over to visit my Uncle at 13 who had lung cancer and was in the final stages of death. That really affected me a lot to see someone dying of that disease and the look in his eyes as he struggled to breath. Then I lost my grandpa years later to the same disease...lung cancer. I watched him get weak and skinny and then struggle to breath and watched as my grandma sat by his side and asked for a miracle so she could spend more time with the man she loved more than anything. She couldn't deal with losing him and gave up on her own life months later. His urn is buried with her and they are together in heaven now. There have been many other family members (and other people I've known) who have struggled with cancer and some who have lost their battle with it. My best friend, DL is a breast cancer survivor. I was there the day she found out the lump in her breast was cancer. She has fought a very brave battle against it and lost both of her breasts in December to this awful disease. We've had some very real discussions about life and death during our breakfast talks at Tim Hortons. She is in remission right now but was told there is a very high chance of the cancer coming back. She's told me that she lives in the moments now and reflects quite differently about life and living in the moment. Her journey has affected me deeply and made me think of my own mortality. I can't imagine losing her. The thoughts of it have made me break down in tears a few times. She is one of my closest and dearest friends and I hope that her cancer will never return. I know she lives in fear of that every day. It was almost exactly one year ago that I was told that Master's mom has terminal lung cancer. It's been a very difficult journey for our family. I've had to tell my kids that they are going to lose their grandma. We've gone through ups and downs as we've wondered how long she has to live. Her scan results have not been very good and every day we get to spend with her is precious right now. We went for a family dinner recently and all of us knew that this could be the last. I've talked to her a lot about cancer and her fears and worries about what's going to happen as it progresses and eventually takes her life just like it did her mom. Master's grandma (her mom) also died of the same disease a few years ago. I've had many serious talks with Master about making the most of the time he has left with his mom. I know it's much different for him than it was for me to lose my Dad. He died of a heart attack and died suddenly. I did not have to watch him deteriorate. Cancer takes a person's body and soul and the journey is awful for the person but also the family who has to sit back to watch the person's spirit start to die. My daughter was touched by cancer earlier this month. Her best friend's mom died of cancer and she was around my age. Scary to think that cancer doesn't care how old you are. It ripped a mom and wife from her family and left a teen girl without a mom. It made me reflect on my dad's death and that at least I had time with him. I was much older when I lost my Dad. Losing a parent at any age is difficult but that teen girl needs her mom right now and she's gone because of cancer. I can't imagine losing a parent when you are so young. I never met that woman but DL was very close to her. She had breast cancer too and this really shook DL up. I couldn't help but wonder if her time will come when cancer will come back to claim her just like that woman. Apparently she struggled for 7 years but was in remission briefly and it came back and took her. Cancer is awful!! Cancer sucks! I'm willing to bet that our readers here at JTTDS have all dealt with cancer in some way or will at some point of their lives. If I had one wish it was that there could be a cure for cancer and no one would ever struggle with it ever again!! Cancer sucks!! My thoughts and prayers go out to Ellie and her family right now. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Rope play with an old friend

It's been a while since I went out on a date with someone other than Master Anakin. I spent a lot of time trying to deal with my breakup with A and getting over him. I was not ready for dating anyone else for quite a while and went on a poly hiatus. I have had a few offers but was not ready for anything until yesterday. It was Father's day and Master was busy working on a project in the afternoon. I was alone and thinking way too much about my Dad and feeling depressed. My old friend, Max (not his real name) had mentioned going out together and I decided to take him up on the offer. Max and I dated briefly a few years ago but still keep in touch. He is one of the few of my ex's that I still keep in touch with. Our breakup was a mutual one with no hard feelings. I believe this is why we are able to still be good friends through it all. I have always enjoyed his company. Master encouraged me to go out and enjoy my evening with Max. I decided to pack up some toys and a sexy outfit too. I met with Max and we had dinner together. He treated me to dinner which was a nice surprise. I really enjoy talking with him and catching up. The sparks are still there and there was some chemistry happening during dinner. We headed back to his place and brought out the toys. He noticed the white rope and mentioned that we had never done much bondage before and was curious. I said that I'd love to play with rope and wanted to get dressed up for him. I asked him if he would be willing to take some pictures of his play and he agreed. I got dressed into my corset and PVC skirt and fishnets. He commented how sexy I looked and I noticed an obvious hard on right away. He got out the rope and worked on my wrists and arms and then my legs. I'm such a rope slut!! I went into a deep subspace right away and enjoyed some time just being tied up tight. It was very restrictive and I couldn't move around much. I am putting up a picture of me sitting on his chair and being all tied up. It was a lot of fun and nice distraction last night. We enjoyed a few hours of playing together. We did some other bondage too. He used some cable ties on me to tie me to a chair and other fun things too! We got naughty together and both of us got turned on and the fun eventually ended in the bedroom where we both enjoyed some great sex together. It is always very familiar and comfortable to be with an old lover. There was some conversation afterwords and then I headed out to meet Master Anakin. I enjoyed my night with Max and hope we can do it again sometime. :) May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Happy Father's day!

Father's day has usually been a bit of a difficult day for me for different reasons. For many years it was because I had a difficult relationship with my Dad. Some years went by without any contact on Father's day with him. Then he passed away and now there is no contact anymore at all. I try to look at the positives of this day though. I had a "Daddy" come into my life and take care of me and also our children. Master Anakin is a terrific Dad to our kids and a really good Daddy to me. It was important for me to find a good man who would be different in his parenting than my Dad was growing up. I was lucky to find Master Anakin. He accepted my daughter from day one even though she was not his biological child. He has always been in her life. He was the second person that I told that I was pregnant with her. He rubbed my tummy when she was moving around in me. And he held her the day she was born and was always a big part of her life even when we were not together. He stepped into the role as Step Dad very easily from the first day we moved in together. I've seen him help her with school projects and try to be a good Dad to her. Then there is Skywalker and the son that Master wanted so much. He was so supportive during my pregnancy and was so excited about having a son. I will never forget the joy in his eyes when Skywalker was born and how he held him in his arms. I see a lot of him in our son. Our son has learned so much from him. He's been there for our kids and been the kind of Dad that I wanted for my children. We are so lucky to have him as the head of our household. He is the one who has had to make tough decisions and sometimes it has been very challenging for him. I always knew that he would make a great Dad to our kids. I love watching him reading to Skywalker or kicking around the soccer ball or trying to talk to Leia about life. I wish my own Dad was more like him growing up. I think I would have had a much different relationship with him when he was alive. Happy Father's day Master Anakin! You are a really great Dad (and Daddy) and have sacrificed a lot for our family. Thank you for everything that you do for us! Happy Father's day also to all the Dads out there! Enjoy your day today! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Have a playful weekend!

A nooner

I don't think there is anything better than some great sex in the middle of the day. I believe the term for it is "nooner". I wasn't expecting to spend most of the afternoon in bed. Last night was very stressful due to family stuff. I went out with my friend, DL for breakfast this morning and thought Master was going into work late. I was surprised to see him as I arrived home just before noon. I was even more surprised when he started taking off his belt and ordered me upstairs to our bedroom. My pants and panties were pulled down and suddenly there were hard strokes on my bottom with his belt. He gave me a few hard ones to know who was in control. I got about 40 hard strokes on my bum with the black belt. I squirmed around but that got a threat of more to come if I didn't stay still and take it. It's hard to "take it" when the belt is coming down on your ass at full strength and leaving huge welts and marks all over it. My bottom is still a bit sore from it right now as I type this blog post. Then he started kissing me with lots of passion and lust. There was some hair pulling and play biting and wrestling. Clothes started to come off quickly as his cock got hard and entered me easily. I was wet and willing. Needing to feel him inside of me. He fucked me in many different positions before finishing with a hard thrust as he came deep in my pussy. We were both panting and fell onto the bed to cuddle up close. Next it was my turn. The hitachi got brought out and rabbit vibe. The hitachi went on my clit as the rabbit fucked me hard. It didn't take me long to cum hard for him. We cuddled some more and then commented that we were both ready for a nap! I love having a nooner. It's always the best way to spend the day! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Monday morning masturbation

I always enjoy starting my day and week off right! There is nothing better than some Monday morning masturbation. I got permission to enjoy some self loving time this morning. I love my Hitachi! I can't count how many orgasms that I have enjoyed with it over the last few years. I am feeling very relaxed now and enjoying my Monday morning. The sun is even shining today to make it even better. :) My kids are almost out of school and I am trying to enjoy all the alone time that I can right now. Master Anakin and I enjoyed a 3 day weekend together. He took Friday off so we could enjoy some time together. We went out for breakfast and watched movies and cuddled together. Then we played together and had some fantastic sex!! Saturday was spent having a UFC day. We cleaned up our place and bought some drinks and snacks. We had our own UFC party with Skywalker. We ordered pizza and watched the fights. I am madly in love with Cro Cop now! What a great fighter! It was disappointing that Chuck Liddell didn't win the fight but he tried. It was very exciting to know that this was the first UFC to ever be hosted in Vancouver, BC! We hope it's not the last. We'd really love to go see a live fight sometime and it's on my bucket list. Speaking of my bucket list...I have so many things that I want to try to cross off my list this summer. We leave on our fun family trip in exactly a month! I can't wait! We've planned some really fun family events in Edmonton. It's going to be great! I can't wait to be back in the Rocky Mountains again too. It's been years and I just love it there. I am counting down the days and can't wait to get on the road. The weekend was really nice. I got to play on Saturday night too! Master used the whip on my ass and left some nice marks for me to remember him by. There was lots of sex and orgasms all weekend! We also enjoyed a family dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory last night. I am feeling close to Master and glad for our strong force. I am putting up a picture of some wild daisies that Master picked for me last week. He's so romantic! I love it when he surprises me. I am a very lucky girl. There is lots to look forward to and many big changes happening. I feel like I am finally moving forward... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Happy HNT - The big strap

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) everyone! I call our new toy "the big strap" because of how big it is and how heavy it comes down when strapping my ass. Master Anakin says that it weighs about 5 pounds. This strap comes down hard and solid and leaves a lot of redness and also makes it very hard to sit down afterwords. It doesn't take much to have me squirming around when this strap comes down hard on my poor bottom. You can click on the picture to enlarge it and get a better look. I am wearing my panties which say "spank me! It's the only way I learn" which are now my favorite pair to wear when I want to give Master a hint. I could REALLY use a spanking right now with that mean strap! I'm feeling in a bratty mood and need some discipline. A special thank you to our friend, J who sent us some mean toys including this strap which has become one of my favorite toys. I must be a masochist as I am always bringing out this strap to use on my bottom when it comes time for spankings. :) This strap is one of those toys which you just KNOW is going to hurt. Your ass isn't going to stand a chance against it. Sometimes you just need a good hard strapping though to get into line. This strap is way harder and meaner than Master's belt. Please leave us a comment on the picture. We'd love to hear from you and always enjoy the feedback. Please check out Osbasso's blog if you are interested in participating in the HNT series. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

The journey of life

I have not blogged very much lately. I have not felt like being on the computer and been trying to enjoy the last of my "free time" without the kids home during the day. Leia is almost out of high school. Skywalker gets out of school at the end of the month. My days of masturbating with the hitachi are almost over...at least until September. :) We are planning a family trip this summer! I'm very excited about it. We are hoping to take the kids to Edmonton and we have many activities planned for the West Edmonton Mall. It's one of the best malls to go shopping to. I'm excited to also take my kids through the Rocky Mountains. We have not been to Jasper since Leia was 3!! I don't think there will be very much kink of this trip unfortunately because of taking the kids. But...I heard there is a new Victoria's Secret which opened up in the mall and it's the first store in Canada. I'd love to go shopping there and it will be nice to have some money to be able to shop with. We have been thinking about moving this summer although that has been a very big decision and a difficult one to make. There seems to be many upsides to moving but also drawbacks. We are also very limited as Leia is just about finished high school and we don't want to move her when she's so close to graduating. I also really like the area we live in. It has been a difficult search to find something that we like in this area. There are times also that the thoughts of moving exhaust me to the point that I'd rather put it off for another year. I hate moving and there is so much work to get done before we can do it. Projects that need to be done and lots and lots of packing and sorting. We still have not made a decision. We'll have to see what happens. We've also been discussing the possibility of having another baby. Master had a vasectomy a few years ago and we have looked into vasectomy reversal. I feel that the odds are against us having a 3rd child though. I have a history of miscarriages and am close to menopause. Maybe we were not meant to have another one. Maybe we should just accept the fact that our baby days are over. I wish I could just turn off my strong maternal instincts that I have been feeling lately. A friend of mine told me that I'd want to create life after experiencing death with losing my Dad. She was right. I would love to experience another child growing inside of my tummy and knowing that I am carrying my Master's child again. My kids are growing up on me and I miss having a baby to hold. The decision to get his vasectomy reversed is a very hard one. Master and I have both been a bit emo about it all. I am no longer hosting a local munch in our area. I have been taking a hiatus from the local bdsm community and also from the poly aspect of our relationship. I have finally come to peace with my breakup from A and have moved on from that. A and I still text each other sometimes but have not seen each other in weeks. He seems to have moved on from me too. He's got a new girlfriend and a new life. Sometimes I really miss him but I know that we were not meant to be. I am starting to think that maybe the poly was never meant to be. Maybe I just need to concentrate on my Master and family and not let anyone else into my heart. It's been broken too many times. It's made me feel very leery about having anymore relationships with anyone else. Sometimes it's all been a bit much for me. The difficult decisions and changes have kept me up at night. I've been feeling very fatigued and moody lately. The weather has not been helping my mood. It's been dark and rainy lately. I know there is sunshine that will appear again. Summer time is almost here and there is lots to look forward to. My force is strong as long as Master is there guiding the way. He is my strong Jedi which I love to obey and serve. The journey has bumps along the road but it's well worth it. I keep reminding myself that I am lucky to be alive and to have what I do in my life. I've been thinking back to what Rocky Balboa said. Life might knock us down but we have to pick ourselves up again and keep moving forward.... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Corset boobies

I hope everyone is having a good weekend! I have wanted to share a few different pictures that we took during our rope play weekend last week. It felt so sexy to wear my new sexy corset for Master Anakin. It was my first time wearing it for him and he said he was very pleased by it. He said that he really loved my boobies in the corset. The corset pushes them up and shows off the clevage. I bought this corset to wear to events but I might just get used to wearing it at home in private for Master. I really enjoyed dressing up for him when we played with rope in the privacy of our own home. It was very memorable and has made me crave rope play again. Hopefully I'll have the chance to do that soon... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Enoy your week-end

I saw this kitty picture and it made me lol. I'm hoping it might put a smile on Master's face right now. He got a tooth pulled out today and is in Darth mode. The grey kitty reminds me a bit of my own. TGIF! Enjoy your week-end. Has it been a long week for you too? This week has gone by so slow for me. I've struggled with insomnia and also had my period. I tried to keep being a good slave even through my extreme fatigue. I baked yummy dinners and desserts. I did my chores and tried to obey my rules. I think that I was a good girl this week for Master. I've tried very hard to please him and make him happy. I slept 12 1/2 hours sleep last night!! I was exhausted and just crashed. I'm not sure what causes my insomnia. It gets brutal sometimes. It's hard to deal with life on a few hours of sleep a night. Sometimes I get up and just can't seem to fall back asleep. I was so glad to get some sleep last night but it was not enough. I'm really tired and need a lot more. I'm looking forward to watching movies with Master on our couch tonight. I'll be having merlot but Master will be on Tylenol 3's because of his tooth issue. We are hoping to watch Rocky Balboa. I've been looking forward to watching it again. I saw it once in the movie theater and really wanted to see it again, especially after watching Rocky the other day. I'm hoping to play this weekend but it depends on how Master is feeling. We have no plans other than relaxing and being together. We might try to get some projects done but we may just wind up cuddling up together for a weekend of connection and intimacy. I've felt very subbie and close to him since our rope play last weekend. It's brought us close again and I am holding onto that strong force. I've been thinking that maybe we need to get away from it all and go on a romantic vacation this summer! We are going away as a family but I think some couple time will be nice for us too. I'd love to escape to our special place by the lake again. :) I'm going to try to enjoy my weekend with my sexy and handsome Master. I'm the luckiest slave girl to be owned by such an incredible Master. I love you Master Anakin! Enjoy your weekend!! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Rags to Riches

Last night I cuddled up with Master Anakin and watched Rocky. We've seen this movie together a few times and it never grows old. We both love Rocky! It's always such an inspiration to watch the movie. The character of Rocky reminds me a lot like my Dad. My Dad was a boxer and used to love the movies. I didn't realize it til last night but my Dad used some of the same lines as Rocky did. I know that my Dad identified a lot with Rocky. A rags to riches kind of story. He started with very little and then found success in his life. He was able to accomplish a lot in his life and came a long way from his own abusive past. People are often surprised to hear how my life started out. It was a rough journey for me in my youth. My Dad was abusive and my childhood was not an easy one. My Dad was a very Domineering man and had many rules to follow and was extremely strict with me and my siblings. I couldn't wait to leave and decided one day that I had enough abuse from him. He pushed me too far. I packed my bags shortly after I turned 19 years old and headed out into the big world with nothing more than $80 in my wallet and one bag full of clothes and stuff. My Mom told me that "I'd be back one day" but I told her that I never planned to. I would have rather lived on the streets than live in that house another day. My boyfriend (ex husband) at that time picked me up and we both made the decision to leave our family homes that day. We had an old tent and we went out to the KOA campground and found a new place to live for a few weeks. I lived in a tent and went to college and also worked. Life seemed very simple back then. I felt free for the first time in years. I was like the bird that had been let out of it's cage. I loved being able to come home to my tent where life was quiet and cuddle up by the fire pit with my boyfriend and have a simple life. There was no distractions in those days. No internet. No cell phones or texts coming in all the time. No one knew where I was and it was a very quiet life for those few weeks that I lived in that tent. We eventually moved in with a roomate and had very little stuff. We were grateful for the old couch his parent's gave us and tv. I eventually convinced my parent's to give us my bed because we slept on the floor for a while. My ex was a pizza driver at the time and we lived off his tips. We had very little money but we were happy. Some of those days in our first apartment were the happiest in my life and in my relationship with my ex. This song often reminds me of that time of my life. It's hard to believe how much has changed since those days. I am married to Master Anakin and we have two beautiful kids. We have a beautiful country home and we are financially stable and life is treating us very well these days. I realized today how far I've come since those days of living in that tent. I've had to work very hard to get to where I am today. It didn't come easy for me. Some of the money I've received in my life were through a car accident which left me into a bad depression and a lot of pain for years. I also inherited money through losing my Dad. Now I've inherited more money from another estate. It feels like there has been a lot of loss and pain through the years to get us to where we are today. It's been a really good life lesson. I have not forgotten those years in a tent and what it feels like to have very little in your life. How quickly money can come but also go. I watched my mom go from riches to rags. She had it all and then blew it all away. I really hope that I don't make the same mistakes she did in her life. This morning I drank my hot cup of coffee in my quiet house and listened to the sound of the rain. It felt really good to be alive today. I've gotten a glimpse at death through the loss of my Dad. It's made me think of my own mortality. It's made me feel blessed for these days of being alive and for living the dream that I always wanted of being a mom and wife and slave. There are some really big changes happening in my life and I am trying to embrace them and not fear change. There is a lot of possibilities right now and a big wide open future. Sometimes I get a bit overwhelmed by it all but I'm glad to be here for the journey and to have the life that I do. It's been a long journey but well worth it. I wouldn't change a minute of it... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala