Some sad news today

I had planned to put up an HNT picture tonight. I've decided to wait before posting it. We got some sad news today and it's been a very difficult day. My MIL got transferred into a hospice today where she will spend the last of her days. I don't think she has much time left. She has been unable to feed herself or walk without assistance. We all knew this day was coming but that doesn't make it any easier. She's not coming home again. Master Anakin went over to his parent's place and said it was a really weird and sad feeling. His mom's chair still sits there with her "to do" list by the side of it. He waved goodbye but she wasn't there. He said it was routine for him so it feels natural to him to wave even though he knows she will never be looking out the window again waving to say goodbye. It's been really hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that she won't be at anymore dinners. This Thanksgiving is going to be very difficult. It's hard to plan anything right now and it's not the same without her not there. I can't imagine what it must be like for my FIL. He was married to her for almost 50 years. They always came as a package. He's losing his soulmate and wife. I feel such intense heartbreak for my FIL. I had a last goodbye talk with my MIL a few weeks ago. She phoned me to tell me the things she needed to say. She said to take care of Master Anakin and the kids. She talked about how much she loves the grandkids and how special it's been to be a grandma. She asked me to take care of my FIL. She's worried about him. He had major heart surgery earlier this year and this is a big strain on him. Hopefully he will be ok. I know from my own personal experience that sometimes one person goes soon after the spouse. Tomorrow is the 13 year anniversary since I lost my Grandpa and he passed away from cancer. My Grandma couldn't handle it. She declined after he died. I saw her spirit start to go. Then she passed away soon afterwords. I think of them often and how much they loved each other. It's my worst fear...losing my spouse or my kids or family. Cancer sucks!! I've lost many loved ones to that disease and I start to wonder who's next. There has been so much loss through this journey. It's hard to lose loved ones along the way. Death is a part of life though. We are all on "borrowed time". One day it's going to be us sitting in a hospice bed waiting for our turn. It all goes by like the blink of an eye. Treasure each day because you don't when your last day will be. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

On the mend

I am finally starting to feel human again. I was able to go for a short walk on Saturday and then run some errands yesterday. I think I might have pushed myself a bit too hard though because I was feeling a bit off last night and needed pain meds and a warm bath to cool me down. My fever hasn't gone away and my appetite is almost at zero. I finally ate a full meal last night though. I made chicken breasts and steamed veggies. At least I'm slowly starting to get better. I will be putting "get my flu shot" on my list of things-to-do. I forgot how awful it can be. This weekend wasn't too great for Master Anakin and I. His mom had to be taken to the hospital and is still there right now. He went with his Dad to get her more pain meds. She isn't doing very well. Cancer sucks!! This has not been an easy journey. Lots of loved ones get lost along the way. Watching a loved one suffer has to be one of the most awful things anyone ever gets to experience in their lifetime. I am praying for my MIL. I really wish there was more that I could do, especially for Master who is struggling a lot with this. We did manage to sneak in a quickie on Sunday morning at 6:30 am. I'm sure other parents can relate to this. We had to make the most of the time and we had to hurry but it was worth it. I didn't get to cum though. We were interrupted. LOL. At least Skywalker showed up knocking at our door after we had been able to fuck. It left me a bit frustrated but I have permission today to use my Hitachi. I plan to head upstairs soon and release some tension and stress. I have lots of chores to get caught up on this week. Master was able to help out but it's hard with two kids and also the whole situation with his mom. I'm thinking about him this morning and really missing him. I'm really hoping we can have a date night out very soon. My mom has offered to help me out with the kids and I really hope we can get out and have some time together. It's my birthday coming up and I'd really like to celebrate in private also with Anakin. A spanking might be REALLY nice too!! *hint hint* I'd love to have some time to play on the darkside. Our force is very strong. We are trying to brave the dark storm together. In November we will be celebrating our 14 year anniversary of being together. I can't imagine my life with anyone else but him. I'm still deeply in love with him even after all these years. :D May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Slowly recovering from a nasty flu

It's been a rough few days. I don't remember the last time I was so sick. I had forgotten how nasty a flu can be. It's completely wore me out physically. I've had some major muscle weakness so just going from upstairs to the main level of our place is a challenge. I've also had no appetite so all I've had to eat in 3 days has been crackers and dry toast. Thankfully there is ginger ale. It's become my best friend over the last few days. I have been sleeping a lot. I went to bed at 4 pm yesterday and slept right through til 7:30 am this morning. Usually I have insomnia but not lately. I can't seem to sleep enough right now. I'm exhausted. I've also been having some back problems although I'm not sure if it's due to the flu or because of my back needing an adjustment. I went to a new chiropractor on Thursday and got my back fixed although this caused some really major soreness. Yuck!! I would really like to feel good enough to maybe leave the house sometime and even go for a small walk. I am thankful to Master Anakin who has been amazing through it all. He's taken really good care of me. I don't know how I would have gotten through it all without him. Thank you Master Anakin! I have not been on the computer much due to being so sick. Hopefully I'll be back to blogging more as soon as I am feeling better. Thank you for all the get well wishes! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Sick with the flu

It's been a really rough few days for me. I was dealing with a very bad period and then I got the flu really bad. The teen had it a few weeks ago and germs tend to get their way around the house usually and everyone gets sick. I wasn't sure if it was my period or the flu which was affecting me. Some symptoms blend together like stomach cramps and headaches. I spent the afternoon throwing up and trying to hold it together until Anakin got home yesterday. I'm really lucky to have him. He stayed home today from work to help me out. He always takes such good care of me. My first husband wasn't like that. My parent's were never really like that either. You had to take care of yourself if you were sick. Master treated me so good and was gentle with me like a Daddy would. He got me medicine and made me a cool bath for my fever. He put a washcloth on my forehead and rubbed my back for me which was aching. He was also up in the middle of the night helping to take care of me. I am a really lucky girl. I am really glad that he is home today although I am still recovering from the flu. I have missed him. We have the new Hawaii 5-0 on PVR and want to watch it. I'm curious if it is anything like the original series. I used to watch that all the time with my Dad. He used to love that show. I really miss my Dad sometimes. I stepped on the scale today and noticed that I lost a pound this week. I lost 3 pounds over the summer which was the first one in years that I lost weight instead of putting it on. I tend to get lazier during the summer months and don't have to do my daily walks. I tried to eat healthier and continue with some walks and it helped me to lose. In total this year I have lost 5 pounds!! I walk daily and try to be healthy. I am going to recover from this flu and get stronger. I want to get better in time for my 38th birthday which is just around the corner and also Halloween! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Rainy days and Mondays

Rainy days and Mondays always make a very blah combination. It's dark out today and pouring rain. It's hard to get out of bed on days like today. I have not been feeling too great the last few days. I got my period and have felt like I've been a bit fluish. I went to bed early the last few nights. At least I'm sleeping better than I was. I miss Master a lot today. He was home on Friday and we enjoyed some reconnection together. We went out for breakfast and then shopping for our turkey (for our Canadian Thanksgiving in Oct) and also at Value Village. They have their Halloween stuff out! Hooray! I love Halloween and this time of the year...well except for this rainy weather. I miss the sun! We spent a few hours on Friday fucking, playing, and napping. A great way to spend a lazy afternoon. We also watched a movie...the latest Resident Evil movie in 3D. It was pretty good. We went to bed early and I woke up on Saturday to my period flowing very heavy and some really bad cramps. Thank goodness for Midol. It can be your best friend during that time of the month. I don't think I could have gone out on a date with Anakin without it. On Saturday we had some kid free time. Anakin convinced me that it would be good to get out and enjoy some time out. He took me to the casino and out for lunch at their buffet. It was sooooo yummy!! Then we gambled and both won some money. We drove out to the country to get some cheap gas and also to a local berry farm. It was really relaxing. We took the long way home so we got to drive out in the country looking at wildlife and falling leaves and open fields. It really helps to clear your mind when you do that. I felt a lot more relaxed when we got back. Yesterday I spent most of the day cleaning and paying bills and getting organized. It helped me to mentally feel a bit better. I plan to do more chores today as well as some more baking. I made homemade bran muffins for the family yesterday and everyone was very pleased. It makes me feel very domestic when I cook for my family. I really enjoy it. :D I hope everyone had a good weekend! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Happy HNT - Submissive slave

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) everyone! We have taken many pictures over the years. There are a few which really stand out for me and are my personal favorites. This is one of them. I often use this picture for my profile picture on Fetlife. It's beautiful and artsy and makes me look very submissive. I absolutely love how Master Anakin made this picture look like art. I can still remember that moment in the bedroom with me holding the flower and looking down in submission. I was wearing my pink wig and some pretty lingerie. Please click to enlarge the picture and get a better look at it. Please leave us a comment and let us know what you think. What has been your favorite of all the pictures we have put up through the years? Is there a picture that you would really like to see? I know some people might say they'd like to see a pussy picture but I admit I'm a bit shy about that and like to save that for the people that I know very well. :D I am really looking forward to this weekend coming up. Master Anakin is off on Friday and has a long weekend. The teen will be going to her Dad's and we might be able to get some sitting. If not, we do have all of Friday with no kids since they will be in school. I can't wait to play on the darkside with Darth Vader. I have missed him. Check out Osbasso's blog if you are interested in participating in the HNT series. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Life lessons

I am going out with my mom in a bit so I don't have much time to write a blog post. I was on Fetlife this morning and answered a question on there so I wanted to re-post it on my blog. I am on a group there that is 36-45 The Lost Generation. I really like all their stuff on that group and can relate to a lot of it. They asked about life lessons and what have you learned the hard way. These were a few of the ones that I came up with about my life lessons: I have learned: ~You can love more than one person ~Fate is only what we make ~Every day is a gift. Treasure it because you never know if today is your last day ~friends will come and go but only a few will stay in your life forever and be true friends ~life will knock you to the ground. You need to pick yourself up again and keep moving forward ~we are all dying a little each day. No one can escape death. No one usually wants to talk about it but it's a reality that you face ~people will talk the talk but very few actually walk the walk ~find your own happiness. No one can truly make you feel good about yourself except for you ~tell those people around you how you feel about them because you may lose out on the chance and you have to live with the regret of knowing you never did (this lesson can to me after my Dad died) ~everyone makes mistakes. Learn to forgive as holding anger inside is harmful and destructive ~family is forever. Friends will come and go but family is forever. ~Don't work or live with family members (other than your immediate family). I've seen this end badly so many times. ~sometimes you need to lose yourself in order to find yourself ~live your dreams. As Yoda says "Do or do not. There is no try" ..... Those were just a few that I could think of but I'm sure there is many more. What are your life lessons? Please leave us a comment and let us know. I'm curious to hear other people's responses to this question. May the force be with you all! ~padme amidala

70's Darkside

Master Anakin and I recently went on a shopping spree at Spencer's Gifts which is one of our favorite stores. We love the stuff there! I recently put up a picture of the Playboy panties that I bought from there. They are so sexy! I bought another pair of playboy panties and modeled those for Master last night. :D We recently purchased some really cool things from Spencer's Gifts. We had been working on our basement for months to make it a neat little hideaway from the rest of the house. We sorted through our stuff and cleaned everything up. We decided to go with a 70's theme for our basement and make it look a bit like the one in "That 70's show". Master Anakin and I really like that show. It often has reminded us of our youth. We bought some things to make it look more 70's like. We got a blacklight and a neat poster for it. We got a glitter lamp and also a disco ball which is sooooo neat!! You turn the lights off and turn it on and the ceiling and walls have lights spinning around all over. It is a really nice escape. We downloaded some music from the 70's to give it a full effect. We have enjoyed many summer nights in the cool basement during some really hot days. I have to admit that sometimes I just want to go down there and be alone. It's my own private getaway sometimes. I go down there and enjoy reading on the couch or watching the TV down there. The teen and her friends love our basement! There has been a few slumber parties for our teen daughter and her friends. They will crank the music was cranked and they have made some videos down there. The lights give it all a neat effect. Master and I have played and fucked down in our basement with the lights spinning around. It was really intense. I'd be getting spanked and looking up at the ceiling with all the lights spinning. I felt intoxicated although I never had a drop of alcohol. I almost wonder if the lights helped me float better into subspace. I find the lights almost meditative. Our basement is really cool. We've got a few more ideas to make it have more of a 70's theme and improve it even more. We've talked about maybe having a few parties down there too. That might be a lot of fun. :D I hope everyone is having a good weekend. I got spanked (with his belt) and fucked and had a huge g spot orgasm which left a big wet spot on our bed. I felt great to reconnect last night and be able to have some time with Master. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Happy HNT - Sinister belt

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) everyone! I think this week's HNT picture is extra sexy. I have a belt fetish so this picture really turns me on and makes me wet! We were playing down in our basement and Master Anakin took off his belt and had a firm grip on it. He meant business!! He's a belt expert. I don't think that I could count the amount of strappings that I have had from it. Please click to enlarge the picture and get a better look at it. I could feel the dominance from him as his belt was in his hand and jingling with warning about what was about to come to my ass!!! He gave me a firm strapping with it before fucking me hard. Yum!! I love that mean old black belt of his. It's always been one of my most favorite toys. :D Please leave us a comment and let us know what you think. Does anyone else like getting spanked from a belt or giving one? I bet I'm not the only one with a belt fetish out there. :) Please check out Osbasso's blog if you are interested in participating in the HNT series. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Back to school this week!

Today is back to school for my son. It's hard to believe that my baby boy is in grade 4 now! It seems like just yesterday I was dropping him off at Kindergarten. He only went to school for a few hours today. Tomorrow is the first full day for both of my kids! The teen is going into grade 10!! Whoa!! Only 3 years until she graduates. Time has sure flown. I can remember watching Barney with my daughter during the day and changing diapers. I'm amazed at how fast they grow up. It's really hard to believe that it's been 20 years this month since I started my first day of college and met Master Anakin. 20 years!! That's a really long time to be best friends with someone!! I knew from that very first day that we would always be friends. We shared a chocolate chip muffin together and that was it. We became best friends and that has never changed. Many friends have come and gone out of my life but he's always been there for me. We've been through it all on the journey and are still best friends even now. I feel that our love has grown stronger through time. Our force is strong! It's going to be lovely to have my days to myself again. I've missed being able to have time to masturbate or be able to go out with a friend for coffee without any worries. The summer was challenging at times, especially with the teen going through so many changes. There was some really great times but also a lot of struggles. My MIL is not doing too good. She has terminal cancer and has been starting to decline. It's really hard to see Master struggle with coming to terms with his mom's illness. I am trying to be there though and he knows that he has my full support. Master and I did get some time together over the long weekend. We played every night and I had countless orgasms. My pussy, ass and nipples were all tender and sore by the time he was done. We were both surprised that we have had so much sex lately!! We had sex 5 out of the 7 days last week!! It just seemed like we were both so horny and really wanting to fuck!! It connected us and made us strong. I feel very submissive and completely in love with my Master. I really am a really lucky girl. I'm also lucky when it comes to contests!! I picked up my Macbook today from the local radio station that I had won it. We tried on Friday but they were closed early. I was giddy as we left with my Macbook in my hands!! I've always been a bit lucky with contests but this was the biggest thing that I've ever won!!! Soooooo cool!! I want to open it right now but am not sure yet how it works. I think I'm going to wait until Master Anakin gets home and then we can open the box and check it out!! That was very exciting to win something so big and amazing!! Yay me! :D Sooooo how was your long weekend? How was your summer? What do you love the most about Fall? Does anyone else have a sore bum right now? Cause mine sure is! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

The Killer Inside Me.wmv

I watched a movie called The Killer Inside Me. I was really surprised to see a belt strapping scene in the movie with Jessica Alba!! Wow! And she gets all turned on by him spanking her. Yum! I wanted to share this with our readers. ~padme amidala

Using the mean toys from Obi-Wan Kenobi

I hope everyone is enjoying their long weekend. Mine has been up and down so far. We did get a chance to play on the darkside last night. Needless to say, my ass is sore in more ways than one. The anal sex was very rough and mean. It seems like my ass hasn't had any breaks! We played on Thursday night very rough too. Our friend, Obi-Wan kenobi sent us some mean toys. I posted a picture in my last blog post about it and showed a picture of them all! They are all very ouchies! We got the chance on Thursday to play with the long English Tawse and big wooden paddle as well as the tack bra he sent us. The tack bra hurt!! It left lots of little red bumps all over my tits. The wooden paddle is deadly and VERY mean!! It only took 20 strokes to really redden my ass and leave a few nasty bruises. Whoa! Master Anakin calls it our "sorority paddle" because it's like something they'd use for a sorority paddling. It is the biggest paddle we now own! I want to run and hide when I see Master picking it up! Yikes! I am putting up two pictures that were taken during my ass beating! We enjoyed using the new toys from our mean friend. Enjoy! I sure got a hard beating and put into my place. I've felt very submissive the last few days. He warned me there is more to cum this long weekend!! It makes me shiver in anticipation. There is more mean toys from Obi-Wan to test out. :D May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Toys from Obi-Wan and winning a Macbook!!

What a start to September and the long weekend!!! TGIF!! I woke up to the most amazing wake up call this morning. I have been entering a lot of contests in August and hadn't won anything. I woke up and came downstairs and heard the phone ringing. The caller id showed "blocked call". I hesitated about picking it up but wondered if it might be my mom. It was a local radio station calling to tell me I had won a macbook! I was still half asleep at the time and it took a few minutes to realize that I was on the radio station. They played it at 9:50 am on the radio station. It's a very surreal experience to hear your voice on the radio station and them announcing me as a winner!! OMG!! What a start to September, back to school and the long weekend!! My son was almost as excited as I was. He was jumping around and telling me that the Macbook's are worth over a thousand bucks!! I admit I don't know how to work it but I know Master will show me. It's the biggest thing that I have ever won!! I've won lots of things but nothing like this and also getting onto the radio station. Wow!! I'm beyond excitement. Master is coming home early and we are heading to Vancouver so I can pick up MY macbook. Ok....technically Master could take it from me because he's the boss but he has told me that I won it so I can have it!! Woot! I'm SO excited!!! My very own Macbook!! Sooooo cool! :D We had a very exciting night last night also. We picked up a package from the Greyhound from our good friend, Obi-Wan Kenobi! He sent us some toys before but this package was a bit different and had more evil mean toys! I am putting up a picture today of all the things he sent us. You can read his blog post too in which he mentions all the toys he sent. Thank you Obi-Wan for the deliciously mean toys!! We've already used a few and really enjoyed them. My butt is sore today from the big english tawse. And that tack bra is dangerous and evil!! Thank you Obi-Wan! You're the best and an awesome friend of ours!! We enjoyed using a few of the toys last night. We took pictures and we plan to post more about this in a future blog post! Sooooo stay tuned! Have a wonderful long weekend! I know that my long weekend has already started with a blast!! WOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO!! I won a macbook!! I won! I won!! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Happy HNT - Rope marks

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) everyone! Happy September! It's hard to believe it's a new month and my kids are almost back in school! I love Fall. The leaves changing and Halloween and also my birthday right around the corner. This has always been one of my favorite times of the year. This summer was an interesting one. It had it's ups and downs. Darth Vader and I did have the opportunity to play together a few times including with some rope. This week's HNT picture is of some rope marks on my wrists after I was tied up with it during some play. I am a rope slut! I just love the feeling of being bound and helpless. I also love the marks that the rope makes afterwords. Always makes me feel very subbie. :D Please click to enlarge the picture and get a better look and please leave us a comment. We enjoy your comments and feedback on our pictures. Check out Osbasso's blog if you are interested in participating in the HNT series. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala