Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween from Master Anakin and padme! Enjoy lots of trick or treats and a very fun Halloween! :D May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Halloween spanking

Halloween has always been one of my favorite times of the year. I love everything about it...the scary movies, trick or treating, carving pumpkins and roasting seeds and all the neat decorating that goes into it. Having kids has made Halloween even more wonderful for me to see it through their eyes. Both of my kids are so excited right now. Skywalker has been counting down the days til he can wear his Darth Vader costume to school for the Halloween carnival! I've been getting into the Halloween spirit this week. Watching Fear fest on AMC which has tons of scary movies playing all day up until Halloween. I bought a few new decorations today. I'm starting to get really excited about it. Master Anakin is home tomorrow and told me that I'm going to be receiving a "halloween spanking" from him. It's our annual tradition. It's been a while since I got a spanking so I admit that I'm pretty excited about it. We have a whole day free tomorrow to play and for my butt to get really red and sore. Yah! :D We have plans all weekend with our kids for different Halloween events we will be attending. We also have some fun plans at home during Halloween on Sunday night. We are going to have a full house for some fun Halloween festivities. I am thinking I'll dress up this year although not sure yet what I'm going to wear. Maybe I'll even wear something sexy tomorrow for my special Halloween celebration with Anakin. Maybe we can get closer to the darkside together... So what are your plans for Halloween? Leave us a comment and tell us all about it. May the force be with you all!! I hope everyone has a wonderful Halloween this weekend! :D ~padme amidala

Angry sex

I have come to the conclusion that angry makeup sex is some of the best that you can have. There is a big buildup of emotions and anger and the connection afterwords can be intense. It's been a bit of a difficult time for me lately. I've been struggling with depression caused by grief over the loss of my MIL. The weather is also changing which sets off my SAD (seasonal affective disorder). I have also struggled with insomnia and lack of sleep. I didn't feel like talking to anyone yesterday. I would have preferred that I stay in bed all day and do nothing. I felt very down and depressed. I tried to push Master Anakin away. He's been dealing with his own grief lately and been very distracted. Both of us have been trying to hang on during this very difficult time. He tried to phone me several times during the day but I refused to pick up the phone. A few messages went back and forth which got very heated and angry. I could tell he was angry at me while walking through the door and the look he gave me. I call this the "Darth look" because you just know he's not very pleased and the darker side of him is out. We barely spoke to each other until getting up to our bedroom. We had some time alone without the kids and the emotions came to the surface. Both of us were angry. I tried to push him away physically but that didn't work very well. He pushed me onto the bed and started to kiss me. He was on top of me. He was not going to let me go. He made it very clear who was in control. I tried to resist a bit with protests. He didn't listen to my protests as one hand went up my shirt and the other down my pants. A finger went into my pussy and then it started to feel very good. The fight seemed to disappear from me as he fucked my pussy with his finger and then pinched my clit a few times. I got aroused and wet and the anger slowly melted away from me. We started to kiss passionately as the clothes started to come off. He mentioned how wet my pussy was as he penetrated me deeply and started to fuck me. It was angry sex. Rough and mean. Hair pulling and some slapping as well as some biting on my neck. He wanted me to know who owns me. Who was in control. I got very aroused by the control over me. Wanting him to hurt me. Wanting him to fuck me hard. We were both panting and collapsed into each others arms after he came hard up my pussy. "I was very angry with you" I tried to tell him. "I know" is all he said. We both held each other and connected. Our force felt strong again. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Dream Destination contest

This weekend was sad and hard to get through but we survived. It's time to move forward. We will never forget her but we were able to get some closure this weekend with the memorial and ashes scattering. I really miss her. It's going to be strange to have Halloween and not be able to show her the kid's costumes they are wearing. Even the teen will be dressing up in a cool costume this year. It's going to be very weird to have Halloween and not have her as a part of it. It's all a big adjustment. There has been a lot of interesting discussion from people about the contest that Anakin is in. We were at the casino recently and he won a contest there. He won cash as well as a chance for an even bigger contest!! If he wins, he gets to chose one of the 5 dream destinations. There are some really amazing choices. We've gone back and forth about which one we would chose if he wins this contest next week. The draw is coming up and it's exciting to think of the possibility of a dream trip in our future. You never know.... I am curious to know what other people would chose if they won this contest. Which dream trip would you chose out of the 5 choices? Please leave us a comment and let us know. I am hoping we'll get lots of responses to this question. 1) Sydney, Australia - Including 12 nights accommodation at a 4 star hotel, Roundtrip airfare from Vancouver. Plus $1000 spending money. 2) Paris, France - Including 14 nights in Paris, France at a 4 star hotel, Roundtrip airfare from Vancouver. 2 vouchers for dinner at the Eiffel Tower, a cruise on the River Seine and 2 tickets to Feerie at Moulin Rouge. Plus $1000 Spending money. 3) Mediterranean Cruise - Including Roundtrip airfare from Vancouver to Barcelona. 12 Night Cruise on the Carnival Magic which includes all meals and onboard entertainment. Category 8 Balcony cabin. One night accommodation in Barcelona day prior to cruise. One night accommodation in Barcelona day after cruise. 4) Maui - Including 10 nights in a 4 star hotel, Roundtrip airfare from Vancouver. Plus, $1000 spending money. 5) Zurich, Switzerland - 7 nights accommodation in a 4 star hotel and Roundtrip airfare from Vancouver to Zurich. Plus, $1000 spending money. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Remember When

This picture was taken on the day that my MIL passed away. This is a picture of her hospice and a beam of light which was coming down from the sky that day. I am a very spiritual person and there are some things which can't be explained. I knew it in my heart that it would be the last time that I would be seeing my MIL. We went into the hospice and held her hand and told her how much we loved her. It took all her strength to open her eyes when my son said "I love you Grandma". I could feel her leaving us. I had a very strong feeling when I was in the bath that night. I knew her time was coming close. I held onto Anakin as we both experienced our grief. A few hours later and she was gone. I am going to miss her so much. Sometimes you don't realize how much you care about someone until they are gone. Life will never be the same without her in our family. I have spent the last few days crying. I go to bed crying. I get up and start crying. It seems like everything is reminding me of her right now. I feel I don't have appropriate words to express the deep, heartbreaking sadness that is in my heart right now. Watching the memorial video that Anakin made for her really hit it home for me that she's gone and not coming back. My heart aches because it feels like I lost a close friend, not just a mother-in-law. I knew her for the last 20 years of my life and she was there for me through the good and bad times. She embraced me when I lost my Dad because she had experienced that herself and knew how I was feeling. There are so many memories with her. She was a huge part of my life and I don't think that things will ever be with the same without her in it. She tried to be brave even while going through chemo and radiation treatments which left her feeling weak and at times bedridden. Cancer sucks!! It is very difficult to watch your loved one slowly fade away until they are finally able to rest in peace and not suffer anymore. She had courage and strength even in her darkest of times. She inspires me on so many levels. Maybe she wasn't known by as many people as my Dad but she was deeply loved by those who knew her. Today is her memorial and we will be remembering her and trying to find a way to say goodbye to her. This is one of the songs which will be playing on the memorial video for her. This song reminds me so much of her. May the force be with her... Remember When - Alan Jackson Remember when I was young and so were you and time stood still and love was all we knew You were the first, so was I We made love and then you cried Remember when Remember when we vowed the vows and walked the walk Gave our hearts, made the start, it was hard We lived and learned, life threw curves There was joy, there was hurt Remember when Remember when old ones died and new were born And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged We came together, fell apart And broke each other's hearts Remember when Remember when the sound of little feet was the music We danced to week to week Brought back the love, we found trust Vowed we'd never give it up Remember when Remember when thirty seemed so old Now lookn' back it's just a steppin' stone To where we are, Where we've been Said we'd do it all again Remember when Remember when we said when we turned gray When the children grow up and move away We won't be sad, we'll be glad For all the life we've had And we'll remember when .... Rest in peace my MIL. We all miss you deeply. We will all remember you and honor you today. ~padme amidala

Top Sex Bloggers of 2010

Thank you to all the lurkers who came out the shadows to say hello. It really meant a lot to Anakin and I to read the comments and hear from some new readers as well as our old friends. Thank you! It's been a very busy week but an extremely sad one for me. I am crying all the time. I've had tummy issues and have had a hard time eating. I can't sleep. I can't concentrate on anything but this memorial coming up. I admit it. I'm extremely depressed right now. I have not felt like this since I lost my Dad last year. This is a very hard time for our family. The memorial for my MIL is this weekend. The family members arrive today and the grief seems to be intense. I am not sure how much I will be online in the next few days. It was a pleasant surprise this morning to wake up and find out that we were nominated again for the Top Sex Bloggers Award!! This is our third year in a row that we have made it on the list. Thank you to everyone who nominated us and to the judges. We are very proud of our blog and have put a lot of time and energy into it. This blog has helped me through some of the darkest times of my life as well as the best. It's a big part of my heart. I hope to be blog for a very long time. Here is the list for the Top Sex Bloggers award for 2010: (congratulations to everyone who made the list!) Alexa from The Real Princess Diaries TBK from The Beautiful Kind Iona and James from SapioSlut Quizzical Pussy from Quizzical Pussy Sadie from Sexie Sadie’s Stories of Seduction Vixen from Secrets of a Blue-Eyed Vixen Adrian Colesberry from Adrian’s Blog EA from Easily Aroused Guy New York from Quickies in New York Joan from Better Than I Ever Expected: Sex and Aging 25 Things from 25 Things About My Sexuality Bad, Bad Girl from BBG Blog Holden from Packing Vocals The blogging team at Sex is Fun Elle from Kink Unleashed Rachel from Rabbit Write Clarisse from Clarisse Thorn littlegirlyone from littlegirlyland Remittance Girl from Remittance Girl Mistress Arabella from Bombshells & Rockstars Axe from Unspeakable Axe Coke Talk from Dear Coke Talk Jack from Writing Dirty Kayar Silkenvoice from Silken on Sex The blogging team at Gentle Nibbles Sinclair Sexsmith from Sugarbutch Chronicles Lilly from This Could Be Dangerous… Kit from Blogging Dangerously Mistress Lilyana from Mistress Lilyana TitsMcScandal from The Blogging Slave suggestivetongue from suggestivetongue Library Vixen from Library Vixen Oatmeal Girl from Submission & Metaphor Riff Dog from Ashley and Me Rockin’ with a Cock In from Light Switch Dick and Jane from Dick-n-Jane Shasta from Stiletto Diaries Athol Kay from Married Man Sex Life Padme and Anakin from Journey to the Darkside PrettyPowerTools from Pretty Power Tools Dark Gracie from Gracie’s Playground Mollena from The Perverted Negress The blogging team at Sex in the Public Square The blogging team at Pop My Cherry Review Emma and Maymay from Kink on Tap Dave from Glimpses of Dave Jake from Facts and Friction Sylvanus and Mina from At Longing’s End Lucy from Sexy Blogtime Ms. Naughty from Ms. Naughty Porn for Women Blog Wendy Blackheart from Heart Full of Black Cin from Seeing My Own Reflection Holly from The Pervocracy Lady Pandorah from Lady Pandorah’s Sanctuary The blogging team at Cuntlove Jiz Lee from Jiz Lee Aubrey from Vagina Drum Black Pearl from The Filthy Ramblings of a Dirty Girl on Lock Dallas from Naughty Americans Jerry Jones from Little Submissions Sir Zoomer from Vanilla-Xtract Chantelle from Chantelle Austin International Gloria from Gloria’s Oversexed Mind Insatiable Desire from Insatiable Desire Spring Flower from A Girl’s Gotta Have Options Epiphora from Hey Epiphora Wilhemina from Heartbreak Nymphomania Erin from Let’s Eat Cake Autumn from The First Day of Autumn Kyle from Butchtastic Cheeky Minx from Love Hate Sex Cake Femme Fagette from Femme Fagette and Wanton Lotus Janie from A Hundred Ways to be Perverse in the Library The Secret Slut from The Secretive Slut Curvaceous Dee from Curvaceous Dee Jefferson from One Life, Take Two Kris from Phone Courtesan and Experience Kris Lila from ¡Qué sinvergüenza! Essin’ Em from Essin’ Em Shon Richards from Erotiterrorist Violet Blue from Tiny Nibbles Evey from Voyeur on Display Miss Mia from Things You Can’t Ask Mom Coy Pink from No Need to be Coy Mistress Matisse from Mistress Matisse’s Journal Audacia Ray from Waking Vixen That Toy Chick from Desk Full of Dildos Britni from Oh My God, That Britni’s Shameless SSS and ♀ from Sweat Shop Sissy Ferns from Domme Chronicles Jerome Nichols from Let’s Talk About Sex Dreamwalker from Dreamwalker Sadistic Poet Dr. Petra from Dr. Petra Boynton’s Blog Viemoira from Cavern of the Beast Shirley from Reptillian Prostitute Carrie Ann from A View from the Floor Sophia St. James from Sophia St. James XXX Nadia from Diary of a Kinky Librarian Nellodee from An Unassuming Girl YOU! As always that last person on the list is you. Please, please, please leave a comment below promoting your own blog (or the blog of someone you love). Links are welcome, as long as they lead us to a sex-related blog, not a retail website or porn aggregation site. ...... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Love our Lurkers Day 5

Bonnie started Love our Lurkers day and it was a such a big success that she is doing her fifth year of it and we are going to be participating again. Master Anakin and I are hoping that it will convince some lurkers to come out of the shadows and say hello and leave us a comment. I know the last few years we participated we got a lot of comments and we heard from many people we had never heard from before. This is your chance to speak up and tell us what you think about Journey to the Darkside. We would really love to hear from you! We appreciate the feedback and really enjoy hearing from our readers. :) Your comments mean so much to us. I try very hard to respond to all of them but sometimes there just isn't enough time in the day to respond to each and every comment. I read them all and we both appreciate the feedback and time it takes to leave a comment here at Journey to the Darkside. We would really love to hear from you today! Please leave us a comment. I will beg if I have to...you can use a fake name or a real name. You can be someone who comments regularly or someone who hasn't commented in months or years or maybe never. Just please come out of the shadows today and say hello and pop your head out. We'd love to know who reads us and who enjoys Journey to the Darkside and we would love for you to say hello. Thank you to everyone who has been there for our journey and for all your comments and support. It means a lot to us and we really enjoy hearing from everyone. Thank you for joining us on our journey....Our Journey to the Darkside! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Romantic date night

I had a pretty good weekend. Friday night was play time on the darkside with Darth Vader. We got a chance to play and have some nice orgasms together. I had really needed some play time and was glad to escape into that for a night. On Saturday we went out for breakfast and shopping at the mall. We bought our son his Halloween costume. Guess what he plans to be? He plans to be DARTH VADER for Halloween!! LMAO!! Like father, like son. He's a lot like his Daddy. :D We took our son to the pumpkin patch also in the afternoon. It was a beautiful day and felt wonderful to spend some time with him and also get our pumpkins for Halloween. Anakin and I had a date night which I had been looking forward to. We went to our local casino to have a buffet dinner with family members for my FIL's birthday. There was a very big surprise that happened through dinner. There was a draw for a big contest there. Anakin had entered the contest when he applied for his BC Gold card. His name was drawn and it was announced over the loud speaker. He won money as well as a chance for another really big draw for a dream trip. You can chose one of the 5 dreams trip all over the world. He has to come back to the casino in November to see if he won!! That's very exciting! I'm crossing my fingers for him. It would be wonderful to get away on a nice vacation after all the stress and sadness we've had lately with his mom passing away. I even won a bit of money too at the casino. It was really nice. We decided to go off on our own after the casino. We had the whole night free and wanted to spend some romantic time together. Master drove me down to White Rock beach and the pier. It's one of our favorite places to go. It was a cool and crisp night but clear. You could see all the stars in the sky. The pier was lit up with pretty lights and we walked hand in hand down it to the end. We took a picture of White Rock from there which was so beautiful. It was very romantic. We were hungry after our big walk around the beach. We drove to the Keg for some drinks and food. I tried a Tom Collins drink for the first time. It was pretty good. I really enjoyed my night with Anakin. I felt close and very connected to him. I hope we can do it again soon. He is at home today and we had more time together but have been busy as well. My MIL's memorial is this weekend and there is lots of work to do to get ready. He's been working on a memorial video and that's taking a lot of time to do. It's going to be a very sad weekend. Her ashes will be scattered as well as the memorial happening. It will be hard to say goodbye but will be good to have closure though. I really hope to get back to blogging again and putting up some HNT pictures but am not sure when that will happen. Hopefully things will settle down once the memorial is over with. The journey will continue... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

My 38th birthday

My birthday this year was very simple but nice. No drama or hangovers. I received many birthday e-mails, e-cards, and gifts from many friends and family over the last few days. Thank you everyone for your birthday wishes. My 38th birthday was memorable. I went out with my best friend, DL for a birthday breakfast on Wednesday. It's always nice to go out and visit with her. She treated me to Denny's. Denny's pancakes are awesome and a real treat! She also bought me a really nice tea set. Yesterday I woke up early so I could spend some time with Anakin before he had to go to work. I enjoyed cuddles and a few light birthday spanks before he headed out the door. I made coffee and then sipped on it while enjoying a beautiful sunrise. A very simple moment but a calm and peaceful one. I felt really good to be alive to celebrate another birthday. I think you start to appreciate birthdays a lot more as you get older. I realized that I didn't need a big party or to get hammered to be able to celebrate it right. All I needed was the simple things like being with friends and family. I went to the States with my Mom for breakfast and shopping. Our Canadian dollar is at par so the line-up was huge but we stuck it out. We got some fantastic deals and bought some really neat groceries. I love that we live so close to the border. It's one of my favorite things to do is to go shopping in the States. There are many different products there that you can't find in Canada. Their Yoplait yogurts are amazing! I love their cherry coke and different flavors of pop. We also did some shopping once we were back from the States. I enjoyed the time with my mom. Sometimes she drives me crazy but yesterday was very nice. I got treated to dinner from Anakin. We went with the kids and my FIL too. I really missed having my MIL there. It's still strange to adjust to her not being at family events anymore. I got spoiled from the kids and Anakin. My FIL gave me a gift card which I can't wait to use. I was able to enjoy a nice meal with my family there. I really enjoyed that. I came home to triple chocolate cake and the family singing "happy birthday" to me. Anakin ran me a hot bath afterwords with some bubbles and candles. I sipped on a cold beer and enjoyed it a lot. I also got some rubs from Master when I was out and a massage too! What a lucky spoiled girl I am. :D I was told that today could be a "free day" for me. That means I can watch a movie or just relax for the day if I want to. I don't need to do any chores. I also got permission to use my Hitachi. it's a beautiful day out and I am looking forward to my private time today. A great way to start the weekend. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Happy birthday to me!

My birthday is in two days but I've decided to write a post for it and put it up a bit early. I thought it would be nice to give an update and I've missed writing. This last week has been very sad and stressful. It's very hard to plan for a memorial. Anakin has been working on the memorial video for it. He's had to get tons of pictures and videos and put them all together to make a special video for it. This has taken up a lot of his time. He was home all of last week but most of it was spent on memorial stuff. He's back to work today and I miss him so much. The memorial is on the 23rd and I will be glad to have some closure. It's been hard looking through her stuff and all the old pictures. We drove out to the pond where her ashes will be scattered on Saturday afternoon. I was going to celebrate my birthday that night in private with Anakin but it didn't happen. I think it was very hard to get out of our moods that day. I cooked a turkey with all the trimmings on Sunday. My FIL did come to the dinner although it was mostly a somber one. The food was good but it was weird to not have my MIL there. She always came as a package with my FIL. They never missed a family event. I really missed having her there. Thanksgiving felt very different this year. I admit that it's been hard to get into the birthday spirit this year. I know that I should be grateful to be having another birthday though. My MIL's birthday is coming up but she will never be able to celebrate another one. Life is fragile. You never know if it might be your last birthday. I've learned a hard lesson recently that people can disappear from your life in the blink of an eye. Suddenly they are gone forever and you have to learn to adjust to life without them. I'd like to be able to cross more things off my bucket list this year. I want to try to live my life to the fullest. That is my goal for the next year ahead. I am glad to be spending this birthday with my family and friends. I have a breakfast with DL tomorrow and also plans with my mom, FIL, kids and Anakin on Thursday. I did get my birthday spanking! He gave me 38 strokes with his belt and an extra one too! I also got a hand spanking. It was nice to find some time together. I have missed Master. Anakin told me that he plans to spoil me for my birthday and to expect some really nice flowers. Our force is strong. We will be celebrating our 14 year anniversary next month of being together in a relationship. Our journey is sometimes a difficult one but we go through it all together. We'll get through this and be stronger. Happy 38th birthday to me! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Happy Spanksgiving

It's been a very difficult and emotional week. It's hard to believe that my MIL passed away almost a week ago now. There has been a lot to do to get ready for her memorial. There is also our Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend and my 38th birthday is also around the corner. It's been a really busy time and has really worn me out. I slept 12 1/2 hours solid last night and still feel very tired. Losing a loved one is a very emotional journey. Words can't describe how I am feeling with losing my MIL and also a close friend. I am still coming to terms with it all and so is the family. This has been a very sad week with lots and lots of tears. We had planned to have Thanksgiving dinner with both of the in-laws. I thought we'd at least have one more family dinner before she passed away. We bought the turkey back in September and she was weak but hanging in there. We had thought there would be more time. It feels very sad this long weekend to be having our turkey dinner but not having her there. It feels like everything has changed. Our whole family dynamic is different now that she is gone. It's a very big adjustment. It's been a very difficult time for Anakin. I've tried to support him and be strong for him. We have a strong force. We have bonded together through the tough times. The journey continues and life will move on but we will never forget her. Happy Thanksgiving (Spanksgiving) to all our readers who celebrate this weekend! Thank you for all the supportive comments and e-mails during this difficult time. It really means a lot to Anakin and I both. Have a good weekend! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Letting go

It's been a very difficult time for our family the last few days since my MIL passed away. It's been a really hard adjustment to come to terms with her not being here anymore. Anakin saw and talked to his mom on a daily basis. I never went a few days without talking to her. It's strange to go over to my FIL's and see her stuff but know that she's gone and won't be coming back. She touched many lives and there is a lot of sadness from losing her. We are planning her memorial and that is taking up a lot of our time right now. Master Anakin has this week off but most of it is being spent on planning a really special memorial for her. It is good to keep busy but there are so many things to remind us of her. I can't imagine the family events without her there. Thanksgiving is this weekend and we had planned to have dinner with her and my FIL. We had already bought the turkey and all the trimmings. We have decided to go ahead with the dinner although I don't think my FIL will be joining us. This has been especially hard on him. My birthday is also next week. This is usually such a happy time and my favorite time of the year. This year just feels very sad and different. I'm glad that my MIL has found peace but we all miss her very much. Our family will never be the same again without her there. I'm not sure when we will be back to our normal blogging with HNT pictures and all the sexy posts. There hasn't been any naughty fun in quite a while. I have had to be the strong one lately with taking care of Anakin and also trying to maintain some type of normal routine in the midst of our grief and sadness. Letting go is a very hard process. I still have some sad days when I miss my Dad a lot and it's been over a year since he passed away. Hopefully he's watching out for my MIL up in heaven. I saw this poem and it moved me. I wanted to share it with the readers: Let Me Go When I come to the end of the road And the sun has set for me, I want no rites in a gloom-filled room. Why cry for a soul set free? Miss me a little - but not for long And not with your head bowed low. Remember the love that we once shared, Miss me, but let me go. For this journey that we all must take And each must go alone. It's all part of the Master's plan A step on the road to home. When you are lonely and sick of heart Go to the friends we know, And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds. Miss me - but let me go. Author Unknown .... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

My MIL passed away...

We got some very sad news tonight about an hour ago. My MIL passed away around 11 pm tonight. We got a chance to visit her this morning. She did respond a few times, especially to our son who hugged her and told her "I love you Grandma" and she opened her eyes wide. We were glad for our special time with her. Anakin got the chance to say goodbye yesterday when he got some alone time with his mom. I had a strong feeling that she might pass away tonight. I could just feel it. There was some signs that it was about to happen. I honestly don't have the words to describe how I'm feeling. I'm glad she has found some peace. She struggled with cancer and fought hard. Cancer is in an ugly disease. It shows no mercy. Cancer sucks!! I've known my MIL for 20 years. I feel like I've lost a good friend as well as a MIL. My kids are going to be devastated. They were very close to her. Anakin has gone off to the hospice to have some final moments with his mom. This has been especially hard on him and my FIL. I'm very worried about them both right now. She was very loved by our family and will be very missed. Things will never be the same. I hope that my Dad is out there somewhere looking out for her. May the force be with them both. This is a very, very sad day for the Skywalkers. We all loved her very much.... may she rest in peace. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

The end is near

My MIL has deteriorated a lot in the last 48 hours. We have been told there isn't much time left and that the end is near. This is a very difficult process for the family. It's much different than when my dad passed away from a heart attack. I got the news and it was shocking but I never saw my Dad suffer or waste away like cancer does to you. It's an awful disease. Horrible....horrible.....horrible disease. Cancer sucks!! I've never been to a hospice before. It's a very peaceful place but also very sad. My MIL recognized us and was able to open her eyes a bit but was very jaundiced looking and frail and weak. I'm very shocked at how much different she looked even in a few days. I've known my MIL for 20 years. I can't imagine what our family is going to be like without her. My heart breaks for the loss in our family. She will be greatly missed. This has been really hard on my kids especially. My son doesn't seem to fully understand and my teen is pretty withdrawn. They were very close to their grandma. This is very hard on them both. They both got to spend some time with her this morning. Master Anakin is very sad and has leaned on me a lot the last few days. He cried on my shoulder today after getting the news that there isn't much time left and it can happen at anytime. He is usually a very strong man but losing a mother can break even the strongest. He is very close to his mom and they had a good relationship. I wish I could make things better for him. This has been very hard on him. The same with my FIL. He's having a very difficult time too. I am not sure how much I will be blogging or on the computer for the next few days. The family is in crisis and our time is being spent with going back and forth to the hospice. I hope that my MIL will find peace soon. May the force be with her.... ~padme amidala