Summertime blues

I'm not sure why this time of the year is always a bit hard for me. I tend to always get the summertime blues. I much prefer the Fall and when the kids are back in school and there is a routine and structure to my days. Halloween is my favorite time of the year. I am already looking forward to it and it's a few months away! I've been having a bit of a hard time lately and Anakin noticed it as well. We went for a long walk yesterday and talked about it. It's always a bit harder for me with kids out of school and a house full of kids. I feel like it's getting harder for Anakin and I to spend time together. We are lucky sometimes to have a half an hour together at the end of the day to cuddle uninterrupted. Our house has felt very busy lately. We spent most of Saturday cleaning our carpets. We've also been working on house projects a lot lately. We did get an overnight on Friday which was a surprise. We had the kids gone and a chance to finally play on the darkside. I wasn't really in the mood which is very unlike me. Anakin ran me a hot bath and gave me a really nice long massage. He brought the toys out and also poured me a few glasses of wine. It helped me to relax and get into the play. We had some anal sex and I had a much needed orgasm. It was wonderful. I also got caned which left some nasty bruises on my ass and a much needed reminder of who owns me. It was a nice escape for me. But then Saturday morning we got a surprise e-mail. It caused a change in the plans for the weekend. My sister and brother are both coming for a visit this weekend. Don't get me wrong...it will be nice to see them both again. I've missed them. But I also have tried to avoid family drama and that will be hard to avoid this weekend. There is a lot of family stress happening and this kind of piles it all on. I wasn't expecting it. We thought we had a long weekend free but apparently not. Instead I'm going to be going to visit my Dad's grave. :S It's very hard for me to visit my Dad. Brings a lot of sadness and bad feelings. My FIL is receiving a lot of chemo treatments right now and is going through a lot with his cancer. It's been a tough time for us and can be challenging sometimes to be the caretaker of your parent. Anakin is responsible for his dad and has had to take a lot of time to be there for him. We had considered going away on vacation but he needs us right now and it's very hard to leave. Cancer sucks! It affects the whole family. And it's a lot to deal with when I'm still processing my MIL's death and all that we went through with her cancer and passing. I'm also upset about what has happened with my mom. She's taken off and written off most of the family. She's on the run from creditors and the law. The situation is really out of control and also a bit heartbreaking. I am starting to wonder if things will ever be the same between my mom and I. Everything has changed. I shouldn't be surprised that she's taken off again but it's very disappointing. I always learn the hard way when it comes to my mom. Sad but true. Hopefully things will get better. I'm trying to be positive but it's been hard to lately. I've had a few really dark days. I'm glad to have Anakin though. He's been my strong force through all of it. I don't know what I would do without him. Thank you Master! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala