 Today is the day! The happiest day of the year for many parents. It's back to school today! My son is going into grade 5! And the teen is going into grade 11!! OMG!! What happened to all the years? It seems like just yesterday I was dropping them off at kindergarten. And now the teen is about to graduate and my son is a little man.
It's been a really difficult summer for me. Many big challenges which I have faced. Family members with serious health problems. I have some of my own health problems. The teen has been acting out a lot and many big problems that have happened with teen drama. Also lots of family drama. I am still really mad at my mom.
I wish that I could move past the anger but it's very hard for me. She's completely taken off on me. I no longer have a mother. My Dad passed away. So I've lost both of my parents. I'm about to lose my grandma. My Uncle is in really bad health. And we just found out that Anakin's Aunt is going into a hospice and has cancer. My FIL still struggles with it. My best friend, DL also has some big health challenges. I feel like I am losing many of the people that I love the most. It is hard to grieve for people who have passed when we keep losing others along the way.
The anniversary of my MIL's death is just around the corner. The first year anniversary is always the worst. It seems like everything reminds me of her lately. I am really sad that her sister will be going into the same hospice as she died in. Cancer sucks!!
I've been in a pretty deep depression the last few weeks. And I've wanted to blog about it at times but had very little time to myself. This summer was very hard on me for many reasons. Hopefully I will have more time for blogging now that the kids are back in school. Writing always helps me to process my emotions. I've also got a review coming up and many HNT pictures to share. A lot happened this summer. I'm still trying to deal with my feelings on it all.
The long weekend had it's ups and downs. I am looking ahead to the Fall and Halloween and my favorite time of the year. Life is very fragile and I sense many big changes ahead. But I don't face them alone. Anakin is there for me and we are both going through it all together. I love him so much and don't know what I would do without him. My force is strong through him.
May the force be with you all!!
~padme amidala
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1 comments:
My padme,
It's all the grand design, the circle of life; back to school, children growing up, us growing older, wiser, mourning, loss, talk of the hospice, anniversaries of passing. Falling leaves, and changes. I loved your post. And I love you forever.
~Anakin
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