The Halloween from hell

Halloween is one of my favorite times of the year. I look forward to it for months and weeks and days until the day finally arrives. I am usually dressed up and having lots of Halloween fun. I was very excited that Anakin had the day off work. He doesn't have many left until the holidays. So it was a very big deal for us. We were both excited to have the house to ourselves and some private time together. We had plans for him to spank me and get naughty and enjoy the time without the kids. But...the day didn't go at all as planned. You can read my tweets (https://twitter.com/#!/padmeamidala) as well as this blog post about what happened. Things went downhill from the very start of the morning. I was hoping to get a DM from a twitter friend of mine. I've been getting to know him and would get excited when I would see his messages. I admit it. I really like him and felt a connection to him even through the internet. This is rare for me. Doesn't happen very often. But I found myself fantasizing about this person and thinking of a future with him. Way too soon though. I knew better than to ask a question but did. I admit it. I sometimes jump into things too fast. That's how it rolls with me. I let someone know that I'm interested. Then I like to just jump into things. I met Master R and within one day he was my Master. Same with Daemon. We met a play party. I e-mailed him the next day and we were out on a date within a week. They call me "little miss dangerous" for a reason. I tend to take risks and move fast sometimes. It didn't go too well. It lead to a misunderstanding and got me pretty upset. DM's are a bit like chatting sometimes. And MSN and other chat systems have been removed from our computer because I *hate* fighting with someone through the internet. I would much rather have serious discussions with someone over the phone or in person. A (my last poly relationship) used to constantly fight with me through MSN and this lead to a huge amount of stress. There is nothing that kills the mood more than having a fight with someone right before playing with Master. People don't seem to realize that when they upset me, they upset Anakin and the whole house. Anakin doesn't like any drama when it comes to the poly. So it frustrates him as well when I fight with people online. There are a few people that I couldn't be friends with anymore because they created too much drama in my marriage and family life. Anakin will start to restrict my time with someone if they are causing me too much stress. I got offline and he could tell I was on the verge of tears and very upset by it. He read the DM's and then we discussed it for quite a while. I think we've both been frustrated with the poly lately. Can't seem to find people to play with. Or have a poly relationship with. 2011 just hasn't been a good year for it. I haven't even gone to any events. Wanted to go to two events in October but didn't work out. There has been a few disappointments the last few weeks. I couldn't eat my breakfast and he had to go get some tests run. The phone rang and it was my sister. The last thing he said to me on his way out the door was "don't phone your sister". I listened to her message which said she really needed to talk to me. She's been trying for a baby and I thought maybe she has some big news to share with me. So I decided to phone her. I knew I was disobeying Master but was hoping to be off the phone by the time he got back. I figured he would understand. I wanted to know if she was pregnant. She's not though. And our conversation went into a marathon of 4 hours straight. I should have known better though. My sister tends to want to talk for hours when she phones. I couldn't get off the phone with her. Tried several times. I knew that Anakin was not too happy when he got home and saw me on the phone with her. I could see it in his eyes. My sister wanted to talk about the situation with my mom and too much family drama. I hadn't eaten all day and was feeling ill by the time I got off the phone with her. Anakin went out to get the kids from school and my heart just sank. I knew that our limited time opportunity to do anything naughty was over. I know that people with kids understand what this is like. Our free days or date nights are sometimes all the time we get to spend alone. We treasure it and it's always a bad feeling when they go wrong. I think that the final nail in the coffin came when the package arrived. I had been waiting for almost 2 weeks for that package. It had a new sexy schoolgirl costume in it. I ordered it with my birthday gift card from Eden Fantasys. I wanted to wear the costume for Halloween and for Anakin. We were both pretty excited about it. We planned to take pictures of me wearing it on Friday night. The package was delayed until Monday night. I saw the UPS truck and practically ran to the door to get it. It was the one bright spot of the whole day! My mood perked up briefly while opening it. Then it all crashed when I noticed right away that the schoolgirl costume wasn't in it. There was massage oil and a candle but nothing else. The slip said it's on back order. It's the first time this has ever happened to me from EF. This totally sucked though. My heart sank and I felt like I was going to pass out. I actually got lightheaded when I opened the package and saw it was missing. I admit that I didn't handle things too well after that. I was a bit of a basketcase. It was a really big disappointment. I couldn't believe it. The one thing that I wanted the most from that order didn't come. Crap! I just hope it comes by Christmas. I had a hard time coming down the stairs to tell Anakin that the costume wasn't in the package. I noticed his jaw drop a bit. He looked as upset as I was about the package. I think he was getting to the end of his rope. He barely spoke to me as he got dressed into his Michael Myers costume. He came over to look me directly in my eyes before putting on the mask. "I TOLD you not to call your sister. But you disobeyed me. We'll talk about this later." Then he went downstairs to see the kids who thought it was the most cool thing ever to have a Dad dressed up as Michael Myers. I knew he was in full Darth mode and dressed up as Michael Myers walking around out there with the kids. He left in a very big bad mood and made me feel pretty bad. I hate disobeying Master. I knew that I had really fucked things up. Halloween was turning into a nightmare. One thing after another. I went on twitter but felt really, really crappy. Maybe I should have stayed off twitter but I felt alone and like I was hitting rock bottom. I was glad for my text buddy to be able to chat with and also twitter friends. I had a hard time holding back tears as trick-or-treaters came to the door. Anakin walked in and was in a mood but we worked through things. He made it clear there will be a punishment coming to me. I directly disobeyed him and this is a big rule for me. My number 1 rule is: I must always listen to Master. He knew that a phone call with my sister would turn into hours. It has in the past. I will be punished because I didn't listen to him. I am not a perfect slave. I screw up sometimes. No one is perfect. I will be getting punished and that's how it works with us. I get punished if I fuck things up. I acknowledge that I made a mistake. I own it and submit to a hard punishment to learn from it. That will be happening on our date night. (this Friday night) I will be punished before any play begins. And no, I am not sure what the punishment will be. Anakin always decides that. I will be punished and we will move on from this. I can only hope that Halloween 2012 will be a much better one this this year. I wasn't in the mood for Halloween at all yesterday. I didn't even dress up which is very unlike me. Today is a new day though. A new month. And there seems to be some new possibilities happening. My 15 year anniversary of being together with Anakin is later this month. I am hoping we can do something very special for it. It's been quite the journey for us so far. And much more to come. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala