Slave to the darkside

One of the things that attracted me to Anakin was his loyalty and devotion to me. He became my best friend from the moment we shared a chocolate chip muffin together in college. He has never left my side from that day. He has always kept in touch with me. I find it very comforting to know that he will always be there for me. I have no doubts that we are together until death do us part. I love him so very much. We are coming up to our 15 year anniversary soon. Makes me remember those early days. They were pretty wild and crazy and very exciting. There were the early hell years of being a D/s couple. All the fights which lead to great make-up sex. I really wish that I had been blogging in those days. There is a lot that happened which I have never blogged about. I started blogging in 2005 but we had already been a D/s couple since 1997. There is a lot that I should write about. I'd be willing to bet there are a few people who might be interested in how our journey began. And how we got to where we are today as a TPE M/s couple who is poly and has an open marriage. It hasn't been easy. I wore the pants in my first marriage. I called the shots. Anakin made it clear from the beginning that things would be different for us. He wouldn't put up with all the bullshit that my husband was. I found that very attractive in a man though. He put his foot down with me. We shared a lot of the same traditional beliefs which is the foundation of our marriage and family. I can't imagine my life without Anakin. That is perhaps one of my deepest fears. That something will happen to him. He had to recently go on blood pressure medication. He has taken some tests and it's worried me. My mean old man is getting older. He's 45 years old now. Starting to push 50. Cancer runs in his family and they are running a lot of tests for that. I can't imagine raising our two kids without him. I just hope that he will be ok. He's my strong force. My rock. I love my Master so very much. Things have been a bit challenging lately but some positive changes are happening too. I'm getting to know Irish Boy more. We did some dirty sexting yesterday. I was in the hot bath texting to him about what I'd like to do with him. That was a lot of fun. :) There is some NRE happening which is a wonderful feeling. Although there is always a lot of anxieties when you first start to get to know someone. I have some trust issues and am working through them. It's hard to open myself up to someone new again. It is very hard to not let the old baggage from past relationships ruin it for my new one. Irish Boy is sticking it out though and not running away. I really appreciate it. I know that I am not an easy person to be friends with/be in a relationship with sometimes. I have trust issues and have a hard time allowing people to really get close to me outside of Anakin. I'm trying to open up more to Irish Boy though. I am looking forward to seeing him again soon. .... This weekend is the long weekend. It's Remembrance Day here in Canada. Anakin has a 3 day long weekend and we have plans for a date night. I'm looking forward to when we can play on the darkside again. I am a slave to the darkness... May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala