A fun and surprising overnight

I had a really great weekend up until last night. I've caught a really bad cold and am not feeling very well. Not sure how much I'll be online for the next few days. I don't remember the last time I felt so sick. Yuck! Not a great way to start the week. Anakin and our son were both sick with it. It's really hard to avoid illness in our family home. It seems like colds get passed around. I helped Anakin get through it and now he's helping me. I'm really lucky to have such a supportive Daddy to help me when I am feeling sick. He may be a mean old man sometimes but he's also a loving Daddy to me. :D We got our tax refund last week and got some extra money in the bank. We've had a lot of fun with it. We paid all our bills off. We went on a very big grocery shopping trip. We went to IKEA and also Costco yesterday and got some extra neat stuff for the place. It's been a lot of fun. I even got to spoil my kids a little as well as Anakin. I really surprised him a lot on Saturday night. He was not expecting it at all. Anakin has always given me big surprises but this time I had one for him. I went shopping by myself at the mall and picked up a few things. I bought some really cute Tap Out socks and also PacMan shot glasses from Spencer Gifts. I'm putting up a picture of them both. Those shot glasses are so cool! Anakin loves PacMan stuff and he was really happy with the neat gift. We picked up some Crown Royal whiskey to pour into the new shot glasses. We tend to only drink Crown Royal for very special holidays or events. I went to Hallmark and picked up a really loving card that made me think of him. Then I went to Ticketmaster to buy the main surprise gift. I picked up two tickets to see Meat Loaf in concert next month when they come to the Red Robinson theatre. Anakin and I both love Meat Loaf. This is one of my favorite songs by them. We grew up in the 70's and 80's and like a lot of the music from that time. Meat Loaf rocks! We both can't wait to see them in concert. This was an early anniversary present for us. We are celebrating 7 years of marriage in April and this is a really fun way to celebrate. We plan to make it a very special night with plans to go for dinner at the casino and also do some gambling. I can't wait! We haven't gone to a concert since Air Supply back in 2009. This is going to be great! Something to look forward to. :D We had an overnight on Saturday with no kids. We went out for dinner at our local casino. The dinner buffet is great there. We also spent a lot of time on the slot machines and did ok with them. Our money lasted a long time at least. We came home to drinks and the surprises. The look on Anakin's face was priceless when he opened up the card and saw the concert tickets. He told me that he's always wanted to see them in concert. I'm really glad that I could surprise him. We had some amazing play and sex on Saturday night. I received one of the most pleasurable ass fuckings. I even had an anal orgasm which is very rare for me. I was spanked and whipped and taken to the darkside. I floated on endorphins for hours. The orgasms were incredible. The play was magical and intense. A really great night for us. It was a really fun and surprising overnight. I will always remember it. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Happy HNT - Pretty pink panties

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) everyone! I am putting up a picture of my new sexy panties from La Senza. Very pretty pink panties. They went well with a cute outfit that I had bought from them. Please click to enlarge the picture and get a better look. Please leave us a comment and let us know what you think. We always enjoy and appreciate the feedback on our pictures. Please check out Osbasso's blog if you are interested in participating in the HNT series. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

After the spanking

I have been wanting to put up this picture for a while. It was taken after a hard spanking from Anakin. I had a red bottom and was floating in subspace after a hard beating with some mean toys. I love this picture!! You can click on the picture to enlarge it and get a better look. You can also see a few spanking toys laying out. It gives you a pretty good idea how I got my red bottom. I was wearing my schoolgirl skirt and also my cool skull socks. I was a naughty girl that needed a hard spanking. Looking at this picture makes me crave a spanking right now and another red bum. :D May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Date night to Burnaby Mountain and SFU

I didn't expect it to be a good weekend. I felt like there was a lot of things that needed to be done. The teen was going to be home (she goes to her Dad's house every second week) and it's hard to play or be naughty when she stays up most of the night. Anakin also came home with a very bad cold. He was really sick on Friday night. We decided to have a family night with the kids. We watched The Roomate and broke open a bottle of Jackson Triggs. The critics were hard on The Roomate but it surprised me that I really enjoyed it. I found it very entertaining. It was a bit like "Single White Female" but more updated. It's hard to get the teen to join us for movie nights but she had wanted to see the movie too. It was nice to have us all sit down and enjoy a family movie night. I spent some time on Saturday doing chores and also going to the mall to do some retail therapy with Leia. It was nice to get out of the house and spend some time with the teen. I can't believe she's turning sweet sixteen in a few months! Where did all the time go? The teen offered to sit for us so we could go out on a date. Anakin was feeling a bit better. I was also itching to get out of the house and spend some alone time with him. I've been feeling very clingy lately for him. We were going to go to see the movie Unknown. The movie theatre was crazy though! Too many people and way too overcrowded. Anakin and I are very similar that way. We both hate crowds. He started heading towards the highway. I didn't know where we were going. Date nights like that are awesome. Spur of the moment. You never know where the road might take you. We wound up in Burnaby. Burnaby has a lot of memories for us. There is history there. We were hungry and wound up eating at a fish n chip place. It's a British themed restaurant. It was a great deal and really good food!! It really surprised us. Big portions and really great food. We drove up Burnaby Mountain after we were done dinner. It surprised us to see a lot of snow. It was also a full moon and clear crisp night. A perfect night for Burnaby Mountain. You can see a lot of downtown Vancouver and all around from Burnaby Mountain. It's very scenic. It's also a very romantic place. I've had some amazing moments with Anakin there through the years. We have eaten at the Horizons Restaurant there and want to again. It's quite an experience! I walked around with Anakin. It was chilly but worth it for the fantastic view. We took a few pictures although it was with our cell phone. So they a bit fuzzy but at least we were able to take a few shots to remember the moment. We also drove around SFU (Simon Fraser University). Anakin has been to SFU when he was younger. It has good memories for him there. We also love to drive around the campus. It's a magnificent building. I am putting up a picture that was taken from there. The full moon lit up the campus. It almost looked like surreal at moments. Full moon with sparkling stars and a beautiful lit up campus. Wow!! What a great date night. We went back home but then went out again. We went to a local park and walked around a bit more. It was great spending time with Anakin and connecting. We even managed to find time to get naughty. We had a quickie in the middle of the night. We even managed to find an hour yesterday of kid free time. His belt came off really fast as soon as he had the chance to spank me. I got strapped and spanked and a reward of some hitachi time afterwords. A nice big orgasm had me very relaxed for the rest of the night. Today is just a normal regular day. It is a holiday for some people (Family day and Presidents day and such) but there is nothing for BC. A day off would be nice but at least Anakin has Friday off. I can't wait to spend more time being naughty. :D So how was your weekend? May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Happy HNT - Sexy slave girl

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) everyone! This picture was taken last Saturday night while celebrating Valentine's day with Anakin. I'm dressed in my new sexy lingerie from La Senza. I'm holding onto a hot pink rose which has special meaning for Anakin and I. You get a glimpse at one of my collars which I am wearing also. I felt like a sexy slave girl. I love a night full of romance and kink! Please click to enlarge the picture and get a better look. Check out Osbasso's blog if you are interested in participating in the HNT series. And please leave us a comment. We'd love to hear from you and really appreciate the feedback. :D May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Like mother, like daughter

I have decided to vent today in this blog post. I will admit that it's a bit hard for me to even talk about this. There are a lot of feelings regarding my mother and a big history between us. I grew up in a very abusive and dysfunctional home. My Dad was abusive and my mom turned the other cheek about it. I learned at a very early age that I could not depend on my mom. I understand why she stayed in the abusive marriage now. It took many years of professional counseling to really understand where my mom was coming from in regards to my childhood. She chose to stay with my Dad even though he abused us (me and my siblings) and also her. She had black eyes and abuse from him and yet never left. I know she was afraid and it took many years to understand where she was coming from. But I don't know if I have ever gotten over trying to tell my mom what was going on and her turning a blind eye to it all. There was a period of time in which we were very close. I was pregnant with my first child and needed her. My husband (ex) was not there for me and she went to Doctor's appointments and prenatal classes and gave me a lot of support. She was even there when my daughter was born and that brought us together. Things changed within our family when my mom decided to leave her 27 marriage to my Dad. She wrote my Dad a short letter in which she told him that she was leaving him. He came home from a holiday and saw it and flipped out. To say that my Dad didn't take it very well is an understatement. There was suicide attempts and eventually a trial after he was arrested for stalking her and uttering threats. I was forced to testify against him and all our family secrets was spilled. I was pregnant (with Anakin's baby) at the time but lost it. It was a terrible time in my life. A very dark chapter which changed a lot of lives. I stood up for my mom and paid dearly for it. There are still several of my dad's relatives which won't talk to me because of it. This caused a huge rift between my Dad and I for many years. I got to see a very different side of my mom during this time. She turned into a very different person. Manipulative and very greedy. She went after my Dad and his money and got the most out of their divorce. She also got married to her second husband who was quite wealthy. She moved to a place near the beach and started to live a very wealthy lifestyle. It seemed like she had everything at that time. Trips and money and a beautiful place by the beach. She had it all. I will admit that I was even a bit jealous at times of her wealthy lifestyle. She decided to get more greedy though and kicked her second husband to the curb and went after his money too. She inherited a lot of money from the death of her mom. She had a lot of wealth at that time. Then she met a younger man through the internet and everything changed. He was half her age and had no job or money. It seemed very obvious what his intentions were. The whole family could see through it all. We all tried to warn her. It was like seeing a train wreck happening but there was nothing we could do about it. I even stopped talking to her for a while over it all. She continued to try to live a wealthy lifestyle but it was hard with a young boy toy that wasn't working and no money coming in. They got married and he became her third husband. She slowly started to lose it all. Ten years later and she's broke. All that money is gone. Thousands and thousands of dollars are all gone. It would blow your mind to know how much money she has lost. She was a rich woman once and now she's desperate and broke. She owes lots of money to creditors and many other people. She can't even buy herself a coffee. She hasn't paid the rent on her place for two months so she's expecting an eviction notice any day now. She has no place to go other than her MIL's place in Florida but they need gas money to get there. She has hit rock bottom. She wanted to move in with me and my family for a while. She has laid a lot of guilt trips on me over it. Telling me that she'll be out of the street and homeless and needs a place to stay until they can get to Florida. The thoughts of living with my mom though literally make me sick. We can't be in the same room together for more than a few hours before we are arguing and at each other. She's got more opinions than anyone else about my life. She is emotionally abusive towards me. I never feel very good about myself when I've spent time with her. I wish I could help her but she needs a more better solution. What comes around, goes around. She spent several years screwing people out of money and now she's gotten screwed in the end. Some might find this ironic. I just find it all very sad. It is hard to feel sorry for her though when it was her own mistakes which lead her to the place that she is today. She won't leave my stepdad even though there is a warrant out for his arrest in the States. He has not paid his child support in years and owes a lot of money. But they both want to move to Florida so they can move in with his mom. His mom owns a big house so they would at least have a place to stay. Right now they are trying to raise money and selling everything they have so they can make the trip and pay off the child support payment so he won't go to jail. Have I mentioned that he has 5 different kids with 3 women and that he hasn't seen any of his kids in years?? One of his ex wives has a restraining order against him from seeing his kids. I have never figured out what my mom sees in my stepdad. Her marriage seems so dysfunctional but yet she won't leave him. I think she is afraid of being alone. There are a lot of services available to my mom if she would make the decision to leave him but I don't think that she will. My sister has disowned my mother. She doesn't want anything more to do with her and has turned her back on her. She expected me to do the same and was angry that I wouldn't. I have not talked to my sister in over a month now. Even my FIL (Father-in-law) told me to turn my back on my mother. I've had others tell me the same thing also. But that is much easier said than done. I feel guilty. She's my mom. She's the only parent that I have left. She's the grandma to my kids. They just lost their other grandma a few months ago to cancer. I feel like my mom needs support right now. I just can't turn my back on her. I just can't. I would feel horrible if I turned my back on my mom and something bad happened to her. I know that there are many people who think I should turn my back on her but hopefully they can understand that is not an option for me. She's still my mom no matter what has happened. My mom told me yesterday that I am just like her. The thoughts of that keep me up at night. Like mother, like daughter? Am I really like her? I can't imagine making the same mistakes as my mom. But I also did turn to a younger man (A) last year who I could have easily made the same mistake as she did. I'm a cougar like she is. Is there a possibility that I could be a lot more like my mom than I thought? It's a lot to think about. I honestly don't know what is going to happen to my mom. I just really hope she figures out her issues. The drama is all a lot for me and is stressing me out a lot. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Happy Valentine's Day!

Anakin and I want to wish our readers a very HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! We hope you have a fun day full of romance and much love. Thanks for being a part of our journey...O/our Journey to the Darkside. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Valentine's day celebration with Anakin

I had a really special Valentine's day celebration with Anakin last night. We took a lot of pictures of it. I'm only posting a few of them today. Last night was truly amazing!! A night that I will never forget. Romantic and magical and yet very kinky too! There was plenty of candles and rose petals but also rope and whips. A mixture of romance and kink and lots of foreplay. We spent most of the day getting ready for our big night. I decided to visit La Senza at the mall to see if they had any lingerie for Valentine's day. I picked out a very cute outfit and pretty pink panties to match. I was very pleased that I am now in a size large. I can remember a time that I couldn't even fit into La Senza lingerie. I used to be a size extra large but I've gone down with my recent weight loss. I dyed my hair red before we went out on a date. I also shaved my pussy and made sure I was ready for a night of play. We went out for dinner and then headed to the casino. Anakin won $150!! A total bonus. We stopped by 7-11 to buy ourselves some treats with the winnings. We came home and put on some music and enjoy some wine. Anakin bought me a bottle of Cedar Creek Pinot Noir 2008. Wow! It was like liquid sunshine. One of the best wines that I've had in a long time. Well worth the price. :D I dressed up in my sexy lingerie and new panties. We watched porn and I gave Anakin a blowjob. He used his belt on me in the livingroom before we head upstairs for more play. There was rope bondage while he used the whip on me. The whip was mean and brutal. I've got some very impressive marks and bruises today from it. There was hours of play and great sex and a few really great orgasms. The anal sex was quite intense. My ass is sore today and I feel well used and submissive. A terrific night! I curled up into his arms and fell into a deep sleep. I always sleep the best after a night of great play. I don't even remember getting up at all during the night. Thank you Anakin for a very memorable night of play and passion and romance. i love you so very much!! :D May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Candy hearts and bondage for Valentine's day!

I wanted to put up a picture that we took a few years ago. It's of some thumbcuffs that were used for bondage and a very romantic Valentine's day. I was dressed up sexy and we had a very romantic and kinky night. I like the candy heart frame around the picture. The candy hearts say "spank me". Very neat! I love Valentine's Day. I love the romance as much as I love the kink. You can give me flowers and chocolates but I almost prefer the handcuffs and spankings. Valentine's day has always been a special time for me. Valentine's day is on Monday but a lot of people are celebrating it this weekend. I noticed many special events happening in Vancouver for Valentine's day. A few kinky parties too. Anakin and I have an overnight tonight and are still trying to figure out our plans. It's too difficult to celebrate V Day on a Monday (due to kids and work and everything else) so we are celebrating it tonight! I can't wait! :D I hope everyone enjoys their weekend! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Happy HNT - Fetish hearts for Valentine's day

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) everyone! I had a new HNT picture to share this week but then remembered that it's almost Valentine's day. I wanted to share a picture that we took a few years ago for our Valentine's day HNT picture. I bought some cute red heart thigh-hi's and dressed up sexy for Anakin. I also wore my sexy fetish shoes to go with the outfit. I love the mixture of innocence and yet the fetish too. A interesting combination. :D Please leave us a comment and let us know what you think of the picture. You can click to enlarge it and get a better look. Check out Osbasso's blog if you are interested in participating in the HNT series. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

A very Star Wars Valentine's day!

I love this Valentine's day card! It's Star Wars themed and so cute! :D It's hard to believe that Valentine's day is just around the corner. A time of romance and love and hearts. I have always enjoyed Valentine's day. There have been some really good memories in the past on Valentine's Day like moving into our family home. It's hard to believe that was 8 years ago on Feb. 14th! A lot has happened in my life since last Valentine's day. That was a very special time for A and I. We fucked for the first time after going to Sin City together for Valentine's day. That was a truly incredible night that I will never forget. The Olympic spirit was in the air and Sin City was one of the most intense places that I have ever been to. Obviously things are very different this year. I've taken a break from poly for a while. I needed time to let my heart recover from what A did to it. I've had several offers from Doms on Fetlife but my walls are way too high to trust anyone again like I did with A. I even stopped going to BDSM community events because I didn't want to run into A. I hope that in time my heart will heal and I will learn to trust again. The poly dance is a difficult one. It feels really good to focus on Anakin and my family right now. My marriage is stronger than it's been in years. I feel like my love for Anakin has grown through our struggles and difficulties through the years. We've grown closer again and that means the world to me. I am more in love than ever with my husband and Master. We've been having some really incredible sex these days too! Friday was the fuck of the century. Amazing sex!! I hope that I can do that all again with Anakin this weekend. :D I've been trying to think of something special to get Anakin for Valentine's day this year. We did go on a special date on Saturday night but I want to do something more than that. Maybe we should go on a weekend trip together. He's in the process of getting his passport so hopefully we can book a trip to the States very soon. Maybe Las Vegas. :P We did get a very exciting present for ourselves last week! We got a brand new car!! It's a 2007 upgraded version of our other one. It's a beauty! We spent lots of time over the weekend driving it around all over town. I love it! It's got so many neat gadgets and is a beautiful color. Our whole family has been very excited to have a new car. It's got a much bigger back seat so maybe we'll be able to make out in it one day. So what are your plans for Valentine's day? May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Crossing more things off my bucket list!

I was able to cross something off my bucket list last week. This is the first thing for 2011 that I have been able to cross off! It always feels good to cross something else off my list. There's lots more that I'd like to do before I die. I noticed that I was also able to cross a few other things off the list in 2010 also. I made my first homemade soup in my slow cooker last week. I've always wanted to try to make soup from scratch and finally had the opportunity to do this. It got great reviews from the teen and Anakin who both enjoyed the soup. It had lots of garlic in it! I tried to get Skywalker to eat it but he's still a bit picky about foods. lol. :P #175 -Make soup from scratch I also am able to cross these off my list for things that I accomplished in 2010: #147 - Give up fast food for a week I gave up fast food for a week in December and lost 3 pounds. #374 -Get a henna tattoo done I got a henna tattoo done at the PNE in August. It was really neat to get done. I had always wanted to get a henna tattoo done so it was great to finally be able to get one done and experience that. I hope everyone is having a good weekend! I have really enjoyed mine. I got to go out on a date night with Anakin last night. I will blog about that in another post. I also have a new HNT picture to put up next week too! May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Which paddle would you choose?

"Which paddle would you choose?" I was asked that question by Anakin recently during some spanking play. He left the decision up to me. I could either chose the "Anakin's paddle" or the hard paddle by bound2please toys. They are both solid paddles. They can both redden my ass pretty good. Can you guess which paddle I chose? Please leave us a comment and let us know. I'd also like to know which one you would pick if you had to pick one of these to either spank with or get spanked by. May the force be with you all. ~padme amidala

Embracing a new journey

I feel like I am on a new journey this year. Fate has shown me a different path to follow for 2011. I have always believed that things happen for a reason. So maybe everything that is happening right now is all for a reason. Yesterday was a horrible day. It seemed like one thing after another. My mom had a pretty big meltdown on my couch. She's made some really bad decisions and is losing everything. She is selling off everything that she has to move down to Florida with my stepdad. She's given up everything for him. She used to have a pretty wealthy lifestyle. And now she's hit rock bottom and owns nothing. I understand why my sister had to walk away. It's a lot of drama right now. But I can't just turn my back on my mom. She's the only parent that I have left. She's one of the few people that I see on a regular basis. I'm really going to miss her and I worry about her a lot. I got a phone call last night right before dinner. It was from Anakin. The car had died on him on the highway and he had to pull over to the side of the road. He sounded very stressed out. At least he was able to call BCAA to come tow it for free. His mom bought the BCAA insurance as her last gift to Anakin before she passed away. She told him that she didn't want him "stranded on the side of the road". She must have seen the future because it's only a few months later and that's exactly what happened. I'm so glad that she gave him that insurance. He had to get a tow a long way to finally get it to the garage. He was completely stressed out by the time he got home. The car is beyond being repaired. The engine is completely fried because of the timing belt. So that means we are looking for a new car. We need a reliable family car ASAP. Our family relies on having a car. So Anakin is at the car dealership today trying to find one. Our car was almost 10 years old. It's had a lot of memories. Road trips and fun family times. It was a good family car but it's time for a fresh start. I'm kind of excited about getting a new car. And so is the kids. This is a really big deal for our family! I'll keep you updated as to what car we finally decide to get. We are also in the process of looking for a new and bigger home to buy. We've been working on some projects so we can get the place into shape for moving. I'm excited about this new change too but also a bit anxious. It all seems like a lot of work ahead of us and very challenging too. We want to find something in the area that fits our price range. We are hoping to move either in the spring or summer this year. There are some travel plans being discussed also. We are hoping to go back to Alberta this summer. We really enjoy going to West Edmonton Mall and their taxes are lower for back to school shopping. My mom has invited me to come to Florida and visit with her. Anakin has given me the ok to travel alone to go see her. I am hoping to come to Florida next fall. That should be very exciting. Anakin and I have also discussed a few other possibilities for trips we want to take. Our kids are older now and easier to travel with. We hope to have a few more family trips before Leia leaves the nest. She's turning 16 this year!! I admit to being frustrated that I have not been able to walk much since falling down some stairs. My toe is still purple and swollen and wrapped up. I really miss my daily walks. It used to help me with my daily stress. I am afraid that I'm going to gain back all the weight that I've worked so hard to lose. I really hope to get back into it. I had big plans for a healthier and a better body. I've also got 4 months to get ready for my Grouse Grind challenge with Anakin. I am having a lot of faith in God right now. I am trying to be positive about the new journey ahead. The force is with me and I will find a way to get through the hard and challenging times. I need to believe that it's all going to get better. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala

Two steps back

I feel like sometimes you have two steps forward in life and then it's two steps back. 2011 has been full of many ups and downs and several big changes happening all at the same time. I had a very rough start to the day this morning. I woke up at 5 am and started to head down the stairs to get to the kitchen and fell. The stairs area gets very dark at night. We used to have a nightlight at the top of it but it had disappeared. I've often told Anakin that the stairs will probably be the death of me. I've had a few close calls through the years. My kitty has tried to trip me a few times but I've always caught myself. I can't blame the kitty though for my fall. It was dark and I lost my footing. I went down a few stairs before falling onto my left hip. My left foot hit the stair and my big toe seemed to get the worst of it. It's been numb and swollen ever since. It's also hard to walk on and sprained. My hip went out of alignment but I was able to get it to snap back in place. It's quite sore though. Not a very good way to start the day. I can see how an elderly person could easily break their hip by falling down the stairs. It's very dangerous. I am lucky that I didn't break any bones. This was a big lesson. I need to be more careful. We also got a new nightlight for the stairs. Anakin has been very good to me. He took the day off work and took me to the see the Doctor. He's been helping me out a lot with getting the kids ready for school and my daily routines that are hard for me to do right now. I'm so lucky to have him. I feel so very blessed. I am feeling a bit frustrated and sad that I am not able to walk around much right now. I have been walking daily and getting ready for the Grouse Grind challenge with Anakin. I gained 2 pounds last week and really wanted to get my weight back down again. I really want to get back into it again and hopefully my toe will heal soon and I'll feel better enough to get back to my walking again. Anakin went for his daily walk without me. I couldn't help but feel like a failure. I feel like this is a huge setback for me. It's frustrating and upsetting. :( I found out some big family news today also. I'm trying to process the news. My mom is moving away in a few months. She had moved closer to me two years ago after my Dad passed away. We've spent a lot of time together the last two years. It's been hard to trust her again and let her back into my life again. It's been a rough journey for my mom and I. There are a lot of issues which never seem to go away no matter how hard we try. She drives me crazy sometimes but I'm going to miss her and so will my kids. It's been nice for them to have a grandma close by after their other grandma (my MIL) passed away from cancer. I feel like I'm losing a lot of people in my life. My sister isn't talking to me. My MIL passed away a few months ago. My Dad also passed away. My mom is moving away. My Grandma isn't doing very well and doesn't have much time left. It is all a lot to deal with. I just feel very sad right now. I was doing very well and feeling stronger but I feel like I've fallen into a big black hole. My force does not feel very strong at the moment. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala