Life changes

It feels like there is so many life changes happening. It's amazing what's happened in the last few days. I wrote a blog post yesterday about me becoming an Aunt for the first time! My sister is pregnant with her first child. It's very exciting. I feel like I'm bonding with my sister over this. I've been writing her e-mails about all her questions about pregnancy. I plan to be a part of her pregnancy and be a part of the birth too. We are already looking greyhound prices vs flying. I really wish she lived closer. There is a chance that she might and I really hope that happens. I went for breakfast with my friend, DL this morning. We were talking about what it's like to be an Aunt. She reminded me that I am already an Aunt although it's obviously a bit different. I have a half-brother that I met a few years ago. He has a son that is around the same age as mine. I've never met him though. It's obviously very different with my sister and her pregnancy. I get to be a part of it from the very beginning. It's made me wonder about my half-brother. I wonder what happened to him. I met him once but it was brief. My mom gave him up when she was 19 years old. She found him and they were able to meet. I'm glad that I got to meet him but I never found out his last name. It's very unfortunate that we never got to know each other better. I'm very curious about him though. I'm going to try searching for him. I think that we could have a lot to talk about. My sister's pregnancy has stirred up a whole bunch of maternal instincts. I even told Anakin last night that I want another baby. lol. I know that it's a crazy idea though. He's had a vasectomy and we had closed that door on that chapter. I'm struggling with it though. I really want a bigger family. I'd love to have another baby. It's really hard to accept that my baby days are over. I was searching through the Wal Mart baby section the other day and starting crying. I love my kids and being a mom. I just wish we could have had a bigger family like we always dreamed of. It's hard to believe that I'm turning 40 this year. I've noticed some physical changes happening as well as grey hairs and other reminders that I'm aging. I'm starting to need more sleep and also exercise. I've been going on daily walks which has helped me lose weight. I am only 3 pounds away from my goal weight!! I'm really proud of myself. Master has helped me stay on track. I feel like I'm going through a lot of life changes right now. There is some really big things happening in my life. I'm a bit overwhelmed by it all. I am really blessed to have a really great family with Anakin and our two kids. I am really lucky to have the life that I do. I need to focus on the future and start moving forward. My force is strong as long as I have Anakin on my journey...He means the world to me and i truly love Him with all of my heart and being. May the force be with you all!! ~padme amidala