Monday, September 09, 2013

Break from blogging

Friday night was really nice. I was able to distract myself for a while and had a really nice date night with Master Anakin. It's probably the last chance we had to go on a date and also play before my surgery next week. My surgery is coming up in 9 days. My focus is on that right now. I feel a mixture of emotions over my Hysterectomy. I am looking forward to having the surgery behind me. I can't wait to get rid of the nasty fibroids which have been getting worse each month for me. There are moments though that I'm second guessing the surgery and wondering if I am doing the right thing.

My anxiety is absolutely through the roof right now. I had several panic attacks yesterday. Master has been very supportive and understanding. Some of my friends have also been really wonderful and supportive. Thank you! I *really* appreciate those people who have e-mailed and messaged or sent me tweets of support over this surgery. It's really helped me to have a support system. You really do find out who your real friends are during hard times. Thank you so much!

I feel that some other people have been not as understanding or supportive. I am thinking of mostly staying away from social media for the next while. That includes blogging. I will still be on Twitter but will most likely be off it for a few days after my surgery. I plan to be in the hospital for 3 days but it could be longer if any complications. I know they don't like you using your phone in there. I will also be recovering from major surgery.  I will try to get Anakin to update Twitter though and let everyone know that I made it through surgery ok. I'm sure some people will be worried and wondering.

Please understand if you don't hear from me for a while after my surgery. I've been told that I will most likely be resting and napping a lot after surgery. I don't think I'll be on the computer for a while until I'm feeling better.

I know a lot of people have told me that they think the surgery will be positive and go well. It's very uncertain though how it will go. There are some serious risks with the surgery. Especially with the largest fibroid which is on my bladder. What is really driving me crazy is that I don't even know what the end result will be. Are they taking my ovaries? Will I need to be cut open? Will I go into menopause quickly?  I have tons of questions that won't be answered until the surgery.

I just want to make it through surgery and be on the other side of it. I will admit that I've had some really morbid thoughts about this surgery. It's scary to think about it. This is one of the biggest things that has ever happened to me. I have not had many surgeries but this is by far the scariest one that I've ever had.  Someone told me that having a Hysterectomy is an emotional surgery as well as a physical one. I can understand that. I've gone through a lot of emotions over it and it hasn't even been done yet.

Please wish me luck and send lots of good vibes on the 18th that the surgery goes well and that I make it through to the other side with no complications.

I'm a blogging break until after my surgery.

May the force be with you all!!

~padme amidala

1 comments:

blueeyedtawni said...

Lots of good luck and awesome recovery ! You will be in my thoughts. Lots of hugs